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I Wish I Would've
A lifetime of familial craziness boils over when she goes on a quest to uncover the truth. On a trip to visit her G-Pa she quickly finds out her childhood memories are not as warm and fuzzy as she thought. Now she's living a life darker than anyone's most horrific nightmare. Will her mom save her from her new life in human trafficking? ~~~~~~ "Human traffickers lure and ensnare individuals into labor trafficking and sex trafficking situations using methods of control such as force, fraud, or coercion. There is no one profile of a trafficker. Essentially, human traffickers can be anyone who is willing to exploit another human being for profit." ( PolarisProject.org, The Traffickers) ~~~~~~ *This novella is approximately 22,000 words.*
- GenresAbuseShort Stories
106 pages, Paperback
First published May 21, 2009
49 people want to read
About the author
Aynoit Ashor
9 books11 followersAynoit Ashor is an author, empowerment speaker and advocate walking a path of enlightenment. Aynoit uses her personal pain as a mighty platform. She stepped out of the dismal shadows of oppression into the light of freedom towards a better life. A life in service bringing empowerment to others. As an advocate of awareness she hopes to bring healing to others.
Aynoit writes to bring awareness to the frightening realities of domestic and sexual abuse. Using profound inner strength and courage, she speaks to inspire and hopes to educate.
Aynoit writes to bring awareness to the frightening realities of domestic and sexual abuse. Using profound inner strength and courage, she speaks to inspire and hopes to educate.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 14, 2011
This hard hitting book by Aynoit Ashor gets under your skin and makes you think about how deep family secrets go. It will make your uneasy but draw you in with the first page of the book. The book deals with sex, drugs, rape, and incest and is not for the faint of heart or for people who are sensitive to these things being written down for the world to see. It was pretty unsettling but mesmerizing.
I would recommend this book for readers who like to think and don't mind being unsettled by the subject matter. It's a psychological tale of abuse. Don't read this if the subject matter offends you.
Keep in mind not all books have a happy ending and sometimes I think that is important. The happy ending of this book is not what you expect.
I give this 5 stars as I liked how it made taboo topics open for people to read. Hopefully it will help someone to know that they aren't the only ones experiencing these things
I would recommend this book for readers who like to think and don't mind being unsettled by the subject matter. It's a psychological tale of abuse. Don't read this if the subject matter offends you.
Keep in mind not all books have a happy ending and sometimes I think that is important. The happy ending of this book is not what you expect.
I give this 5 stars as I liked how it made taboo topics open for people to read. Hopefully it will help someone to know that they aren't the only ones experiencing these things
April 14, 2011
I purchased this book from Smashwords for about £1.99. It actually gripped me right from the start. The main character was very likeable and her character was well written. It was quite harrowing in places (no spoilers) and quite graphic, so be aware of this if you read it, as it does have details of child abuse in it.
Unlike a lot of e-books around at the moment, the grammar was good and spelling errors minimal.
I thoroughly recommend it.
Unlike a lot of e-books around at the moment, the grammar was good and spelling errors minimal.
I thoroughly recommend it.
August 16, 2011
This novella is about the kidnap of a young girl by her Granddad as a sexual slave. It will really make you stop and think, and wonder what goes on behind closed doors. It's gritty, gripping, and will bring a tear to your eye, but I couldn't put it down. A gruesome subject matter, but is handled exceptionally well by the author.
September 1, 2017
Aynoit Ashor's novel covers a disturbing and sensitive subject, but unfortunately it doesn't do it very well. A teenage girl knows that there are issues that have kept her family apart but doesn't understand them. As she reaches adulthood, she goes in search of answers, and she certainly finds them. I wasn't keen on Ashor's style, and found the way the plot unfolded somewhat silly. To make matters worse, the formatting on the Kindle was horrendous. On the plus side, it was short and all over quickly.
December 25, 2020
I don't even know what to say about this one. The storyline is scary, possible, relevant, and unfortunate. The author was to the point, descriptive, and a good storyteller.
January 6, 2012
I really wish there was a graceful way to present this book, but there isn’t. When it comes right down to it, this book is awful. Not in the way you are thinking, (mind you) but in a more dramatic, I can’t believe what I’m reading, does this shit really happen, I don’t know if I hate this or understand the author’s point — kind of awful.
To be perfectly clear about “I Wish I Would’ve”, (because Lord forbid someone purchase this on “accident” and then be subjected to months of high-priced therapy to regain a sense of self) this book is about molestation, incest, child abuse and sex slavery. (No, I didn’t “give the story away” in case you were wondering…all of these things are very obvious once you are past page 3.) And while yes…it has a very important message it’s presentation lacked the sensitivity required for it to be considered (at least to me anyways) Fiction. Instead, let’s call this a sermon in non-fiction sheep’s clothing.
I assure you that I am not a prude, and/or naive, and up until this point I (knowingly at least) have had no aversion to “harsh” literature, but I do believe there is a more “productive” way to approach it. (For example: “Invisible Tears” by Abilgail Lawrence which was in fact based on a true story, and horrifyingly graphic.)
Ashor’s approach, (though effective at getting her point across due to it’s crass writing style) read more as a slap across the face, than the lesson in morality/self-preservation that I’m sure she was striving for, (almost as if she’s impling that the human race “as a whole” is blind to what happens behind closed doors.)
To illustrate my point… I’ll give you a glimpse at how the novel starts.
A Note from Aynoit:
“As you read this story, you will notice a few things. There are not many characters that have names and most of the places/settings have vague descriptions. Many people have asked, “Why didn’t you name anyone? Why weren’t you more descriptive?” My answer is this: When you read this story, I want you to see your nieces, daughters, cousins, friends and neighbors.
This story was written for mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, aunts and nieces, uncles and nephews. This story was written for you. It was written to open your eyes and your heart.
Who comes to your mind while reading this story? Who does this family secret make you think of?
I hope you enjoy this story and yes, I hope it makes you feel a little uneasy, that lets me know that I did what I set out to do. What’s that? I wanted to make you think. I hope it makes you think of your like and your own family secrets.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that if you have to preface your novel with a note like this, than your execution in the books “purpose” must not be up to par. I get her point, I do, but if you write with the intention of getting a message across, then the story should speak for itself. Readers as a whole are fairly intelligent people and should NOT have to be led to water. Tell us your story and let us gather from it its intentions.
Anyways…I digress, and…have yet to actually tell you what the story is about (other than my less than appealing spill of descriptives above.)
“Follow a daughter on her quest for the truth and a mother who wants to keep her safe by any means necessary. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who will say, I wish I would’ve? She only has loving memories of her beloved G-Pa and can’t understand why her mom calls him “”devil”". On her eighteenth birthday she goes on a quest for the truth, without her mom’s knowledge. While visiting her G-Pa she discovers her dark family secrets.”
So was there nothing I liked about this very short (72 page) book? To be honest…not much, though I will compliment Ms. Ashor on her bravery at tackling such a taboo topic.
Like I said before, I do think it addresses a serious issue, and I do think that it (ultimately) teaches a very important lesson, I just think that there was a better way to approach it, one that maintained it’s dignity while telling us “how it is!”
Read at your own risk, I am not recommending this to anyone…there are several other books out there that illustrate the same point in a better setting.
Happy Reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: Just because you CAN say it, doesn’t always mean that you should.
To be perfectly clear about “I Wish I Would’ve”, (because Lord forbid someone purchase this on “accident” and then be subjected to months of high-priced therapy to regain a sense of self) this book is about molestation, incest, child abuse and sex slavery. (No, I didn’t “give the story away” in case you were wondering…all of these things are very obvious once you are past page 3.) And while yes…it has a very important message it’s presentation lacked the sensitivity required for it to be considered (at least to me anyways) Fiction. Instead, let’s call this a sermon in non-fiction sheep’s clothing.
I assure you that I am not a prude, and/or naive, and up until this point I (knowingly at least) have had no aversion to “harsh” literature, but I do believe there is a more “productive” way to approach it. (For example: “Invisible Tears” by Abilgail Lawrence which was in fact based on a true story, and horrifyingly graphic.)
Ashor’s approach, (though effective at getting her point across due to it’s crass writing style) read more as a slap across the face, than the lesson in morality/self-preservation that I’m sure she was striving for, (almost as if she’s impling that the human race “as a whole” is blind to what happens behind closed doors.)
To illustrate my point… I’ll give you a glimpse at how the novel starts.
A Note from Aynoit:
“As you read this story, you will notice a few things. There are not many characters that have names and most of the places/settings have vague descriptions. Many people have asked, “Why didn’t you name anyone? Why weren’t you more descriptive?” My answer is this: When you read this story, I want you to see your nieces, daughters, cousins, friends and neighbors.
This story was written for mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, aunts and nieces, uncles and nephews. This story was written for you. It was written to open your eyes and your heart.
Who comes to your mind while reading this story? Who does this family secret make you think of?
I hope you enjoy this story and yes, I hope it makes you feel a little uneasy, that lets me know that I did what I set out to do. What’s that? I wanted to make you think. I hope it makes you think of your like and your own family secrets.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that if you have to preface your novel with a note like this, than your execution in the books “purpose” must not be up to par. I get her point, I do, but if you write with the intention of getting a message across, then the story should speak for itself. Readers as a whole are fairly intelligent people and should NOT have to be led to water. Tell us your story and let us gather from it its intentions.
Anyways…I digress, and…have yet to actually tell you what the story is about (other than my less than appealing spill of descriptives above.)
“Follow a daughter on her quest for the truth and a mother who wants to keep her safe by any means necessary. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who will say, I wish I would’ve? She only has loving memories of her beloved G-Pa and can’t understand why her mom calls him “”devil”". On her eighteenth birthday she goes on a quest for the truth, without her mom’s knowledge. While visiting her G-Pa she discovers her dark family secrets.”
So was there nothing I liked about this very short (72 page) book? To be honest…not much, though I will compliment Ms. Ashor on her bravery at tackling such a taboo topic.
Like I said before, I do think it addresses a serious issue, and I do think that it (ultimately) teaches a very important lesson, I just think that there was a better way to approach it, one that maintained it’s dignity while telling us “how it is!”
Read at your own risk, I am not recommending this to anyone…there are several other books out there that illustrate the same point in a better setting.
Happy Reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: Just because you CAN say it, doesn’t always mean that you should.
August 5, 2012
Wow family secrets sure will do something to the whole family. Even though you think you may be keeping a secret to protect your mother, brother, uncle, sister or child... that secret could effect everyone in a major way.
This was my first time reading from Aynoit Ashor but I have a feeling it wont be the last because it seems like there is going to be a part 2 to this at least i really hope so. The author writes the story in a way to make you feel like your viewing whats happening but this is done to have the readers think and think that maybe they know someone like this or who this can happen to. The subject of the story line could be a little offensive to someone reading it who may know someone one or have been someone who experienced this type of abuse. I think this is a story many woman and even men should read to get an insight to this sort of thing could be happening to anyone.
This book tackles what happens when one person has a family secret and they try to keep it away from the people that they love. Its good to sheild people from some things but to have them completly out in the dark about things could always backfire and thats exactly what happened in this story.
You cant help but feel bad for both the daughter and the mother in this story because of the things they had to be subjected to. Especially towards the middle and end you will feel really bad for the mother because of her daughters actions. When reading this as an adult i realized why my mother always wanted to know where i was going.. it wasnt to be nosye but rather to keep me safe if anything were to happen to me.
I hope that there is going to be a part 2 the ending to this was crazy and left me wondering why... good job from this author.
This was my first time reading from Aynoit Ashor but I have a feeling it wont be the last because it seems like there is going to be a part 2 to this at least i really hope so. The author writes the story in a way to make you feel like your viewing whats happening but this is done to have the readers think and think that maybe they know someone like this or who this can happen to. The subject of the story line could be a little offensive to someone reading it who may know someone one or have been someone who experienced this type of abuse. I think this is a story many woman and even men should read to get an insight to this sort of thing could be happening to anyone.
This book tackles what happens when one person has a family secret and they try to keep it away from the people that they love. Its good to sheild people from some things but to have them completly out in the dark about things could always backfire and thats exactly what happened in this story.
You cant help but feel bad for both the daughter and the mother in this story because of the things they had to be subjected to. Especially towards the middle and end you will feel really bad for the mother because of her daughters actions. When reading this as an adult i realized why my mother always wanted to know where i was going.. it wasnt to be nosye but rather to keep me safe if anything were to happen to me.
I hope that there is going to be a part 2 the ending to this was crazy and left me wondering why... good job from this author.
October 19, 2011
This was an utterly disturbing novella. I am glad that it was short because I don't think I could have stood for anymore of this poor young ladies tragedy. It disturbs me that some young ladies still are so hungry for love that they still believe these young men when they tell them that they love them only to get into there panties, and then they move on to the next girl with the same line. I wish that her mother would have told her the what happened when she was a young girl, it probably would have saved her from the abuse that she experienced. So sad the family abuse that both her Mother, Grandmother, Uncle as well as she had to go through. This was a sad story, one that I think should get out to as many teenagers as possible.
August 18, 2012
What can i say it was a really good short story. But i will re-quote the ending because it rang true for me ." I want my life to teach mother to be honest and talk to their children about evils and dangers, especially if it's family and friends. I want my life to teach families to talk about everything and not to hide it" . To me when i read it i cried in disbelief because i was shocked by the brutality of it . The story was good its defiantly something that parent's should read because keeping things from kids can bring the old saying ( curiosity killed the cat)
October 22, 2011
This is a very well written short story. I highly reccomend it although it is deeply disturbing and provokes many emotions. The story is an eye opener and will make you angry, cry, shock you but most importantly it makes you think. It involves drug use, rape, incest and abuse. It is a definite page turner and must-read.
December 28, 2011
this was a heartbreaking story of a girl who only wanted to find answers about her past. it was a very quick read about 3 hours to complete. however the message it left was you never know what goes on behind closed doors. extremely scathe considering I am a mother of 3 girls. I will ensure there are no secrets between us.
June 14, 2014
What a strory definitely not for the faint at heart but should still be read by all none the less. Family secrets should be share especially when you are trying to keep someone out of harms way instead of calling it the devil.
June 2, 2012
This is such a traumatic short story, however I do see why it was written and I especially love the fact the author left out the characters names and suggested you place yourself or a familiar female in the story.
June 28, 2012
all though very stressful, and disturbing read, I thought the author brought great light on trafficking, and sexual abuse. this was a very quick read. however I would not recommend. this book to any sensitive reader.
November 19, 2012
The author is on a mission to educate and encourage her readers about speaking up and standing up for yourself or for others. This really hit home for me and I wholly applaud the author for her courage and determination to get the message across.
March 10, 2013
this book wasn't what I thought it would be but then I'm not sure of what I was expecting so I kept reading. it blew me away. I was not expecting the ending to be what it was and that's what made it a great read...
October 22, 2011
Kind of weird and creepy. It's short and definitely kept my attention but it was just too much. Skip it.
December 22, 2011
Great short story!! Didn't give it 5 stars because of typing errors.
September 27, 2013
There was a lot of everything in this book! I'm really not sure what to say but there was a wow factor.... I can't believe that it ended like THAT! Unbelievable
March 9, 2016
wow, short quick read, but really highlight the dangers of family secrets.
June 25, 2012
Very sad tale with a sadder ending.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews