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Polly!

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"Blasphemous ... highly offensive" ... and VERY funny! Herodotus Shapiro has had an unbelievably bad week. His wife left him. The IRS is after him for thousands of dollars. His home/bookstore burned down. On his way to take refuge at his brother's place, he got a speeding ticket. And now his car has broken down in the middle of the desert in front of a large mansion. What more can go wrong? But now his world takes a turn for the weird. The mansion has a snowman on the front lawn--in the desert, in July. The house, which is bigger on the inside than on the outside, is owned by Polly, the most preternaturally beautiful young woman he's ever met. Polly is an acrobat, a gourmet chef, a psychologist, an international financial consultant, a physicist, and a woman of who-knows how many other incredible talents. She has an unbelievable library, an art collection of all the world's great masterpieces, and a print of a previously unknown Marx Brothers film. Her toilet paper is actually silk. And she seems to have some mysterious plans for him ....

162 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

45 people want to read

About the author

Stephen Goldin

150 books46 followers
Born in Philadelphia in 1947, Stephen Goldin has lived in California since 1960. He received a Bachelor’s degree in Astronomy from UCLA and worked as a civilian space scientist for the U.S. Navy for a few years after leaving college, but has made his living as a writer/editor most of his life.

His first wife was fellow author Kathleen Sky, with whom he co-wrote the first edition of the highly acclaimed nonfiction book The Business of Being a Writer . His current wife is fellow author Mary Mason. So far they have co-authored two books in the Rehumanization of Jade Darcy series.

He served the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America as editor of the SFWA Bulletin and as the organization’s Western Regional Director.

He has lived with cats all his adult life. Artistically, he enjoys Broadway musicals and surrealist art. Philosophically, he is an atheist.

Learn more about him at his Web site. . Many of his books can be bought through his online bookstore, Parsina Press.

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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
Profile Image for Frida Fantastic (book blogger).
49 reviews56 followers
August 30, 2011
(Cross-posted from Frida Fantastic)

[“That’s the way the universe works. Not random at all. The universe is passive-aggressively hostile.” - Polly (she who may or may not be God)]

Polly! is a quirky contemporary fantasy with a hopeful message. It follows Herodotus, a middle-aged man down on his luck, as he undergoes a process of rediscovery upon meeting the enigmatic Polly. The story is comparable to the Frank Capra film It’s a Wonderful Life, but it speaks to non-religious skeptics and has a weirdness that makes it more interesting. It’s never clear what Polly is, but she fights entropy, gives some serious tough love, and has plenty of thoughts on dealing with a passive-aggressively hostile universe.

The reader follows Herod’s journey from sorrow to renewed hope and wonder. Goldin’s prose is really enjoyable, it moves quickly with just enough description to make a scene memorable. The pacing is smooth, there’s never a dull moment, and it’s always engaging and unpredictable. There’s some offbeat humour which helps lighten the mood, and all of it feels natural to the story and Herod’s point of view.

While there’s only two major characters, they’re done excellently: Herod is a sympathetic everyman and Polly is vibrant force to be reckoned with. Another aspect I liked was the timelessness of the setting and the themes–it could be set any time in the next thirty years and it would still feel contemporary.

The worst part of the book has nothing to do with its contents—it’s the cover. The cover is confusing to potential readers, and Polly doesn’t even look like that. But hey, don’t judge a book by its cover. Polly has a French maid that is funny but a bit too over the top, and there’s a line or two or dialogue that rubbed me the wrong way, but those are insignificant nitpicks.

I advice checking out the longer sample at Smashwords to see if you like Herod and Polly and its agnostic themes. The book is filled with interactions between these two characters getting all Socratic-method style discussing life, the universe, and everything else. Polly pulls out all the stops on her criticism of organized religion, so if that’s not up your alley, well yeah, you’d think it’s blasphemous. It’s a quirky book that’s not going to appeal to everyone, but I enjoyed the ride and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Note: A free review copy was provided by the author.
Profile Image for Joe Hempel.
303 reviews44 followers
February 23, 2013
This review can also be seen at www.topoftheheapreviews.com

After reading and reviewing Jade Darcy and the Affair of Honor I got the opportunity to review another of Stephen Goldin’s books. When perusing through his catalog I came across Polly! There was just something about this cover. It was the newer cover. A beautiful twenty-something girl looking directly at you with a look of compassion and love, with the whole world in her hand. I didn’t really care what the book was about, the cover just drew me in and made me want to read it.

So was what was beneath the cover as compelling and interesting as the image on front? In a word. YES!


Rod is a guy down on his luck. His wife left, his store burnt down, his apartment burnt down, the IRS is on him for around eight-grand, and his car broke down in the desert. Right in front of a mansion with a snowman in the front.

Yep. A Snowman. Made of real snow. In the desert. Thank that’s odd? Well just wait until you meet Polly!

Polly meets Rod – or Herodotus – and tells him to come inside and she’ll have her guys take care of his car, it’s been afflicted by a burst of xeron radiation, which is why it broke down. That’s what Polly said anyway.

So he goes inside, and the house is of course much larger on the inside than on the outside, and it seems she’s hosting a party. While Polly goes and gets a few things done he talks and mingles with some of the guests. They tell him about their problems and how Polly was there for them in their time of need. Each problem much worse than what his was. So when he states his problems, they just don’t seem like they aren’t that big of a deal. His quest now is to find out who, or what Polly is.

He begins to start feeling like Polly is God, or a God. But she doesn’t really say anything about it. She doesn’t deny it, but doesn’t say she is either. She says that she’s just a fighter of entropy. She helps a group of protesters, teaches adult literacy classes, visits children with leukemia, all while leading Hero (as Polly calls him), on a journey to really find out what is important to him, and what kind of person he is.

Herodotus keeps pressing her about the universe and what’s the point, almost insisting that she is God. And with each turn she talks about religion now, and in history, and why in the world would the creator of the universe need validation from some nobody on a small planet in the middle of nowhere?


The whole series of events that transpires is blasphemous, it takes on all religions, it spares no ones feelings. But it’s one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read. The way Stephen Goldin crafts this book is so masterful, that in between the very sharp dialogue there is a much much deeper meaning, and will make you stop to think about your own life.

That’s the thing about a well crafted book. It will be entertaining, and fun, but it will challenge the way you may look at things, or at the very least make you look internally at the type of person you are. Now, those that are hardcore Catholic, or Christian, or Jewish, or any other religion might find pause to put this book down, and write it off. Who is Stephen Goldin to say that my prayers aren’t being heard, or that Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross wasn’t really a sacrifice? But don’t drop it just yet!

The journey is one of self-discovery. Asking the hard questions, and dealing with the answers that you might not want to hear.

All in all, this 150 page book is jam packed with witty dialogue, and well thought out statements on theology and religion. Not only from the past, but from where we are today as a culture. From all the dialogue and actions, I actually get the feeling that Polly, is actually short for Polytheism. She mentions on more than one occasion that Herodotus is named for one of the Greek Gods, and eludes to her being just one of many….if she is one.


But above all, she speaks of hope. She speaks of how the problems can’t all be solved, but you can do the best you can. And nothing is ever hopeless.

It’s a fantasy novel that…well, it’s a comedy that…hmmm….this book isn’t really easy to define, but it’s fantastic.

I didn’t want this book to end. I felt that when I put this down, I lost a friend in Polly. I enjoyed my time with her so much, I stopped reading it, just so I had another day with her. So it seems that Polly not only touches the people written between the cover of the book, but also the people on the outside looking in.

This book reaches the top twenty list for me, and comes highly, highly, HIGHLY, recommended by me.
Profile Image for Anna Erishkigal.
Author 115 books196 followers
April 11, 2014
Holy Blasphemy! A hilarious take on the Dude Upstairs...

I find organized religion to be deeply offensive to what I *KNOW*. Polly, however, tickled my funnybone, with a deeply irreverent take on God not seen since Alanis Morrissette played god in the movie Dogma. This story was like reading one of those funny, feel-good stories you find in Guideposts magazine, only instead of scripture, this story is hilariously blasphemous to the teeny-tiny confines organized religion has tried to place around so vast a being as God.

I can't tell you how many times I giggled as the protagonist (Herodotus ... or 'Hero') navigates his way out of personal tragedy into a Kafhaesque situation where you ask yourself if he died and went to heaven, hell, or some purgatory deeply reminiscent of the Twilight Zone. Polly is irrational and funny, and as she drags Hero in and out of various situations, it will lead you to a much more empowered viewpoint of the Dude Upstairs.

If you are a religious person who believes that God truly makes wagers with the devil and tells people to go slit their son's throats to make burnt offerings, then is not the book for you.

4 Perfect Points
Profile Image for Red Haircrow.
Author 27 books114 followers
February 28, 2011
Fast moving, well-written, tongue-in-cheek dramatic comedy which was so representative of real-life in some aspects, it felt like coming home. You could well understand the main character's feelings, and though written in first person, the sole perspective is varied enough that it never seems one-dimensional.

I found the story laugh-out-loud surprising at times, a witty, intelligent "what if". It's irreverent and thought-provoking with characters asking some of the same questions I did as an inquiring young person. People not willing to ask the hard questions about Christianity and their book of beliefs, nor accept the fact there are no definite answers, substantiated miracles or anything else, might be highly offended. This is a provocative fantasy which, if anything, should confirm a Christian faith, because if they still "believe" after reading it, they should give themselves a pat on the back. I thoroughly enjoyed "Polly!" and it promptly made me ask, "Who the devil is Polly?!"


Please visit Flying With Red Haircrow, for the full review with notes.
Profile Image for Criss Rosenlof.
32 reviews4 followers
March 1, 2010
The teaser sounded like fun, and when I started, I felt like I was reading an episode of the Twilight Zone (which is not a bad thing to me).

The problem came when the author started making jokes about God. I don't like that. I ignored the first one, and even the second, but then it just continued on...

There were several quite blasphemous jokes about God and Jesus Christ that I found highly offensive. I ended up deleting the ebook without even finishing it because it offended me so badly.

I would not recommend this book, or this author to anyone who believes in Jesus.
Profile Image for Andrew Carlson.
Author 3 books34 followers
September 18, 2011
This is a quick and very entertaining read. I laughed all the way through.

Some may say the story is blasphemous. Not me. I loved the message of what is the enemy of the universe and what agents of Polly can do in response. Balance.

If I could rate it 6 stars I would!
Profile Image for Gabrielle.
27 reviews4 followers
July 15, 2011
May be shocking and offensive and maybe funny to people who are new to these ideas, but pretty standard stuff for a veteran in the field of free thought.
Profile Image for Ruby McDemon.
824 reviews8 followers
January 6, 2018
This story was extremely odd, but that's why I loved it. You never knew what Polly was going to come up with next and poor Herodotus was dragged around for all her antics. I especially loved Polly's explanation on the universe. To me it seems like the best answer that I've ever heard anyone ever explain it. I've listened to Joe narrate before and he did as great of a job as ever on this story and helped make it even funnier.
Profile Image for Deedra.
3,932 reviews40 followers
March 16, 2017
This was an interesting and funny book.Joe Hempel narrates nicely.A man is having a terrible week.His girlfriend leaves him and his car breaks down ,oddly, in front of the only house for miles.He walks in on what at first looks like a party.Weirdness ensues.I was provided this book free by the author, narrator or publisher.
Profile Image for S. Thomas.
Author 12 books71 followers
August 22, 2017
Rod could be the topic of a sappy country music song. His wife just left, his business and home burned down, and his car broke down in the desert. Lucky for him, he broke down in front of Polly’s mansion. Polly is everything anyone could aspire to. She is an expert in just about everything and an outstanding acrobat, too. She is also wildly beautiful.

I received a free audiobook copy of this story and I was amazed at the number of philosophical notions I’ve pondered that are addressed in Polly! Anyone willing and able to think about religion and spirituality with an open mind will enjoy this book. If you enjoyed the Kevin Smith film Dogma then this book is for you. If you decided to write the director hate mail for his blaspheming, you may just want to pass on Polly! There are other good reads out there for you, like Pilgrim’s Progress or the Left Behind series. Avoid the upset. There is also a sex scene, so beware.

Here is a great quote, that I will provide without context except to say that I have an undergrad in business and am terrified of doing a master’s degree program: ”Become a serial killer, or worse, get an MBA.” I laughed out loud, and no I don’t mean that I halfheartedly smirked while thumb typing.
Have you ever wondered about what it would be like to actually be a god? I hardly think sitting on a marble chair and listing to a choir is all you would like to do with infinite power and possibility coursing through you. Polly and Rod discuss how a god might spend their days and what such a deity would actually want of the very creations cast in their likeness.

The narration was great. Each character sounded distinct and the voices complimented the writing.
This is one of those great books that you find yourself thinking back on. I can safely say that because I finished it more than a week ago and I totally slacked off putting this review together. That day job of mine sure gets in the way of hobbies.
Profile Image for Tracy Riva.
294 reviews8 followers
September 25, 2013
Polly
By Stephen Goldin
Published by Parsina Press
eBook ISBN 13: 9781452469591; Kindle ASIN B004HZYGPO, $4.99
Paperback ISBN 13: 9781456336394

Polly was a highly unusual read. After his wife leaves him, Herodotus finds himself in trouble with the IRS over past due taxes, as if all this isn’t bad enough his bookstore – above which he lives – catches fire in the middle of the night. Rod, as Herodotus is known, escapes with his life but little else. Beaten down he decides to head for his brother’s ranch in Nevada to lick his wounds and hide away from the world for a while – preferably while huddled in bed in the fetal position, but life has other plans for Rod.
Whilst on his way to Nevada, Rod’s car breaks down in front of the only residence for miles. Approaching the mansion, Rod notices what looks like a snowman standing in the heat, but this is only the first of several surprises in store for our erstwhile traveler when he meets the mansion’s owner, Polly.
Polly is an enigma. The more Rod, who is now called Hero, tries to figure her out the less he understands her. She tries to teach him some truths about the universe, but can he learn the most important of those lessons?
Polly made me think deeply about many things and realize some truths I already knew, but hadn’t verbalized. At the same time there was one philosophical point in Polly I disagreed with – there being no afterlife. I don’t know what that afterlife might look like, but I believe there is one. On most other points I was in agreement with what Goldin postulated through his imaginary character.
On the surface Polly is a lighthearted, fun read, but it is also a philosophical primer of sorts which teaches that in the end, hope, and our ability to act upon it is our most powerful tool. It is what truly distinguishes from all other life on the planet. We have the choice to damage, or to contribute. To aid the inevitability of entropy or to slow it through our positive actions.
Polly is interesting, insightful, irreverent and thought provoking. I would recommend it most to philosophers, those who wonder about the deeper meaning of life and people in search of a hopeful and lighthearted, but relevant read.
449 reviews5 followers
November 10, 2013
A short and sweet story about an everyman down on his luck who encounters a magic girl who lives in a house that is bigger on the inside. And she teaches him some lessons about life, the universe and everything. Reading Polly's lines in the earlier parts of the book I was hearing in my head someone like Katharine Hepburn in "Bringing up Baby". She certainly talked like someone from a movie of that era. Or could Polly be like Jenna-Louise Coleman playing the ancient and mercurial Doctor instead of a companion? A fun idea, anyway.

What we have hear, is of course a fable. Of course it has been done before. When Polly verbally demolishes the usual religious conceptions of God, she doesn't say anything that hasn't been said and written before. I totally agree with everything, of course, and these points bear repeating now and then, but this is just a short modern secular morality tale, a walk in the Twilight Zone. It was a pleasant read, but not life-changing for me.

There is a reference, obvious to some, to Robert A. Heinlein hidden in there. Those who don't get it may be mystified by the presence of one character.
Profile Image for Simon Perry.
13 reviews1 follower
April 21, 2013
A diverting comic story which entertains for the majority of the time. I am not too sure what the fuss about religious jokes is all about. The story pokes mild fun at the obvious inconsistency of the old testament and the notion of a benevolent God but I have read more irreverent tales.

In short this is a good light read which will make you smile but will not fundamentally challenge your world view (I don't think that was the point in any case). If this book offends your religious views then you need to learn to be more secure in your views as at worst it simply reiterates the type of challenge the 'good book' is, and should be regularly exposed to.
Profile Image for April.
2,201 reviews58 followers
May 12, 2016
"This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of Audiobook B"last."

"Polly" makes you wonder, who is she? Is she real, an alien , an angel, the devil or..........the Almighty ? Rod wants to know the answers ,especially after

the bad week he has had. I didn't appreciated the jokes about God, but overlooking those there was a good deal of humor to make you laugh.


The narration was well done, the characters were well portrayed.
Profile Image for Leslie Fisher.
810 reviews18 followers
May 14, 2016
I thought this book was humorous, but it was definitely for the non-religious, or at least someone who can accept the book with a grain of salt and enjoy it for its entertainment value. It makes jokes about God, Jesus, the Bible, and I'll be honest, it did offend me, which is why I would not recommend this for Christians. That aside, I think the book was well-written, interesting, and funny. I listened to the Audible audio version, and the narration by Joe Hempel good (I really do like his narrations).
Profile Image for Jan.
6,531 reviews100 followers
July 3, 2016
Much funnier than The Shack, but with the same apparent basic idea: that God is bigger than the restrictions that people and religions try to confine him with.
Herodotus Shapiro is at the end of his tether and out of ideas when he comes into contact with Polly who does many things and leaves him with a whole new perspective on his life and the realization that he is not the only one with problems, nor is God a Fairy Godfather.
Thanks to LibraryThing Giveaways for the opportunity to read this short book.
Profile Image for Felicity.
489 reviews7 followers
July 8, 2016
I found this short novella well written and engaging. I thought the characters were simple but appropriate for the length of the story. I liked the ideas explored and the vagueness I initially felt was quickly sorted by realising that was intentional. There is nothing too complex going on and don't look to make this a deeply complicated read as you will be disappointed. However if you are commuting or waiting in a room it is perfect.

I would recommend this if you are "between books"
Profile Image for Albert.
207 reviews32 followers
September 8, 2012
Lets just say this book is a ride worth taking and the reader will relate to the main character vividly. You will laugh and you will be intrigued. Stephen takes you on a fantasy ride and throws in science fiction just because he can. Love it!
Profile Image for Edma.
356 reviews35 followers
September 28, 2016
Overall it was good. Difficult to get through though. Maybe if I had read it at another period it would have been better.
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