Light in the Mirror: A New Way to Understand Relationships

by Barry Vissell, Joyce Vissell

Mother Teresa often spoke about the greatest poverty in the world, a poverty especially of more developed the lack of meaningful connection between people.

Millions of people fear intimacy and commitment, and yearn for deeper connection in their relationships. What most people really lack is a connection with their own hearts, a far deeper wisdom than the mind can ever give. It is this wisdom of the heart that guides the way through fear, and opens the door to more fulfilling relationships.

Light in the Mirror shows how to connect with this essential part of ourselves. It gives us a view of relationship as part of the spiritual path, not something separate. The Vissells demonstrate a true psycho-spiritual perspective. You will learn how to use your significant relationships as mirrors to see and understand the deeper, hidden parts of yourself. It is only by this self-awareness that you can transform your relationships into joy-filled unions.

There are more and more books now on relationship, but hardly any written by a couple deeply in love since 1964. Light in the Mirror is a sensitive blend of heart and mind, of masculine and feminine viewpoint. It addresses many of the day-to-day issues of relationship, inspiring the reader rather than being overly mental or psychological. Perhaps more than anything else, it is real. The Vissells' teaching is by   most effectively their own, as well as the examples of the many people they have seen in twenty-five years of individual and group clinical experience. They humbly share their own failures and sufferings, as well as the joys and triumphs gained by extracting the gifts from these painful ex-periences.

Joyce and Barry's family life with their three children (now grown) is woven throughout Light in the Mirror to illustrate real-life situations. Couples urgently need to know that they can still have a nurturing relationship with one another while raising children.

How do you combine relationship and spirituality? Why are so many people afraid of intimacy?  How can you find a true life partner--a soul-mirror relationship?  What are the secrets of staying in love, of reawakening the passion and attraction? How do you work through the inevitable difficulties which come up in every relationship?  How can you learn from judgment, criticism and blame? How can you say "no" to a partner with love?  When is it time to separate, and how can you stay in love even after divorce? And what is the highest purpose of the love relationship? Readers of Light in the Mirror will not be simply given answers to these important questions, but will be inspired to find the answers within their own hearts. 25 effective practices/guided visualizations offer clear access to the wisdom of the heart.

303 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1995

About the author

Joyce Vissell, RN, MS & Barry Vissell, MD have been a couple since 1964. A nurse and medical doctor, their main interest since 1972 has been counseling, healing and teaching. As a result of the worldwide interest in their books, they travel internationally teaching about personal growth, relationship, parenting and healing. They are the founders and directors of the Shared Heart Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to changing the world one heart at a time. Their six deeply-moving books on relationship, family and healing are:

THE SHARED HEART: Relationship Initiations and Celebrations

MODELS OF LOVE: The Parent-Child Journey

RISK TO BE HEALED: The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth

THE HEART'S WISDOM: A Practical Guide to Growing Through Love (also available as LIGHT IN THE MIRROR: A New Way to Understand Relationships)

MEANT TO BE: Miraculous True Stories to Inspire a Lifetime of Love

A MOTHER'S FINAL GIFT: How One Woman’s Courageous Dying Transformed Her Family

As a result of the wide popularity and unique perspective of these books, Barry & Joyce have been sought after to present talks and workshops internationally. They have been featured presenters for The Association of Unity Churches (including the Adults of Unity National Conference), The International Conference on Sacred Sexuality, Findhorn Foundation in Scotland, the Living Enrichment Center, The Bob Barcley Foundation, The Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.), Science of Thought Foundation in England, Unity in Yoga Annual Retreat, and Adult Children Of Alcoholics (ACOA). They have been invited to offer programs at Omega Institute, New York Open Center, Interface Foundation, Whole Life Expos, and hundreds of “new thought” churches internationally. The Vissells are regular guests on radio and TV nationally. Their books have been translated into six different languages.

They are contributors to the New York Times bestselling series, Chicken Soup for the Soul.

They write a monthly column, “New Dimensions of Relationship,” which appears in 80 publications internationally.

The Vissells are the 1991 recipients of The Aquarian Award, a national honor given to those who have made an “outstanding contribution to the transformation of human consciousness.”

In 1992, they built a center for their work on 16 hilltop acres in the Santa Cruz mountains, where they live, counsel individuals and couples, and facilitate workshops and trainings.

Guideposts Magazine (approx. 15 million readers) featured Joyce and Barry, telling the story of their spiritual transformation and interdenominational marriage in their November, 2001 issue.

In 2004, a story from their book, Meant To Be, was made into a CBS Movie of the Week, “It Must Be Love,” starring Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen (real-life husband and wife actors), and directed by emmy-winning Steven Schacter.

The Vissells have two daughters born in 1976 and 1981, and a son born in 1989. They are committed to “walking their talk,” so they spend as much quality time as they can cultivating their relationship with each other and with their children.