Bury My Heart at Conference Room B: The Unbeatable Impact of Truly Committed Managers

by Stan Slap

 
  #3 New York Times Advice/How-To Bestseller #7 Wall Street Journal Nonfiction Bestseller

"This book is game changing in a way I have never seen in a business book. I learned about myself and gained new insights into the work I've been doing for thirty years. It is a spectacular read."
– John Riccitiello, CEO, Electronic Arts

This is not a management book. This is a book for managers.

Ever have the feeling that no matter how rewarding your job is that there's an entirely different level of success and fulfillment available to you? Lingering in the mist, just out of reach…
There is, and Stan Slap is going to help you get it.
You hold in your hands the book that entirely redraws the potential of being a manager. It will show you how to gain the one competency most critical to achieving business impact, but it won't stop there. This book will put a whole new level of meaning into your job description.

You will never really work for your company until your company really works for you. 

Bury My Heart at Conference Room B is about igniting the massive power of any manager's emotional commitment to his or her company-worth more than financial, intellectual and physical commitment combined. Sometimes companies get this from their managers in the early garage days or in times of tremendous gain, but it's almost unheard of to get it on a sustained, self-reinforced basis.
Of course your company is only going to get it if you're willing to give it. Slap proves that emotional commitment comes from the ability to live your deepest personal values at work and then provides a remarkable process that allows you to use your own values to achieve tremendous success.

This is not soft stuff; it is the stuff of hard-core results.

Bury My Heart at Conference Room B is the highest-rated management development solution at a number of the world's highest-rated companies—companies that don't include "patience" on their list of corporate values. It has been exhaustively researched and bench tested with tens of thousands of real managers in more than seventy countries. You'll hear directly from managers about how this legendary method has transformed their careers and their lives.

As Big as It Gets

Stan Slap is doing nothing less than making the business case for a manager's humanity-for every manager and the companies that depend on them. Bury My Heart at Conference Room B gives managers the urgency to change their world and the energy to do it. It will stir the soul, race the heart, and throb the foot used for acceleration.

Buckle Up. We're Going Off-Road.

Slap is smart, provocative, wickedly funny and heartfelt. He fearlessly takes on some of the most cherished myths of management for the illogic they are and celebrates the experience of being a manager in all of its potential and potential weirdness. And he talks to managers like they really talk to themselves.

Genres: Business, Leadership, Management, Nonfiction, Audiobook

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Stan Slap is the president of the international consulting company called, by a remarkable coincidence, “slap.” He has a history of accomplishments as a CEO with as many as 5,000 employees reporting to him and has served as a director of several companies with their CEOs reporting to him, which he prefers a whole lot more.

Since 1985, Stan has focused his hoodlum neurons on creating success for slap clients. He is credited with revolutionizing performance for some of the world’s biggest, smartest and fastest companies — developing explosive growth strategies and the cultural willingness to implement them. He personally coaches CEOs and the executive teams of many of these companies.

Stan has directed the successful expansion for companies ranging from Patagonia to Pennzoil. He designed the plan that helped Oracle sell their strategic intent to 40,000 employees in 167 countries and developed employee re-engagement plans for HSBC, Europe’s largest bank. He has created winning brand strategies for companies from Deloitte to Black Entertainment Television. He has invented many successful advertising campaigns, consulted to leading advertising agencies and personally written slogans for companies from Coca-Cola to Checkpoint Software.

Mr. Fabulous has also developed a number of successful management training programs (the number is 27) that have been implemented in more than 70 countries. Stan is a frequently requested keynote speaker in many of these same countries and in constant demand for major event presentations by Fortune 500 and Global 2000 companies.

Oh, enough already: His self-published “off-white papers” are required reading in several university MBA programs, and his first book Bury My Heart at Conference Room B was a New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA Today Best Seller. Stan is working on his second book which will be released later this year.

Stan Slap is intent on making a profound difference in the world before he is forcibly removed from it.

Reviews

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Large sections of this book are either repeated elsewhere, should be obvious, or some other form of question-begging for, "Why'd this get published, again?" One of the big red flags to me reading such business books is the "methodology" for a test whose results are then explained at length in the book and set the stage for a cottage industry of test taking, explaining, and results coaching.

The reason I recommend this book is that the one test in the book has no answers. It's entirely self examination with no strengths nor weaknesses, just some guided questions for self understanding. There is no guide for what your answers mean. They're whatever you want them to mean, to you. Sounds hokey, but there it is. For better or worse, I feel like these questions, asked this way, helped me better understand myself; so I must give the proverbial devil his due.

And let me caveat that I had answers that I had thought were "right" for me, and based on his self review questions, they didn't line up. I didn't understand, but a year later I revisited them and tried different answers, which did line up. I had a self narrative that didn't jive with who I actually am, and finding and fixing that (the first part via this book and it's questions) has made me feel more fulfilled as a human being.

[Joanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stan Slap argues that managers must first connect deeply with their own personal values—only then can that value-powered management emanate outward to benefit employees and strengthen the workplace. The opening chapters deliver this message with energy, insight, and humor. I found the first half sharp, provocative, and often laugh-out-loud funny (I was literally cracking up alone in the car on the way to the Jersey shore).

The second half slows the pace, turning into more of a workbook with guided exercises: clarifying your values, aligning them with your family’s, and then presenting them to your coworkers and company. It’s thoughtful but less lively—definitely not something to tackle while barreling down the Atlantic City Expressway. Still, it’s good to know the framework is waiting on my Kindle whenever I’m ready to sit down and do the deeper work.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible book, don't bother.

[Shawna · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title, a mocking take off of Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee, is just so awfully cringeworthy in itself, but the content, so self aggrandizing and condescending. Awful on many levels. So so awful.

[Chris Coffman · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author says at the outset that this book started out as a pamphlet. It should have stayed one. Way too much repetition, and not for literary effect. I agree with a lot of the concepts in this book but the presentation did not resonate with me at all.

[Enrique José · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book. Very interesting concepts, both for personal and for leadership use. By the end it felt a little bit slower than at the beginning (the first half was one "aha!" moment after the other), but a great book nonetheless.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seems obvious but it’s a good reminder.

[Peter P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super read for managers and aspiring managers. Knowing our values, and bringing those values to who you are at work (despite the anticipated and welcome mistakes) matters, it matters a lot.

[Kevin Whitaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This really is a “one big idea” book - everything but a small part of the middle feels like filler. But that big idea is very good.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Low schmuck factor for a business book. What it would look like to have emotional commitment, as a manager, to your work, your organization, the team you manage, and the team you're a part of. And to create an environment for others where they can feel emotionally connected and fulfilled by work. If "core values" is a business leadership and management fad, and if books like this are part of a consultant's business, aimed at earning them money and attracting more customers for seminars, nonetheless this book can connect the reader to deeper thinking at a personal level about how to be a good leader and a good manager. Plus, the author quotes MC5 and Charles Bukowski, and I'm a sucker for use of the hipster factor to drive down the schmucky factor.

Here's a quote from p. 21: "At one time or another, every manager has felt trapped in a vague conspiracy between idiots above them and idiots below. Many are uneasily aware that they inhabit an alien planet whose rulers consider them life forms expendable at a moment's notice. Company performance requirements are often blithely dismissive of the reality that faces managers as they attempt to do their jobs well and simultaneously protect the sense of self that's required to do their jobs well." And: "I've rarely met managers who've come into their jobs with a cynical worldview, but I've met plenty who've adopted one as a protective mechanism. Yet most managers still have plenty of emotional commitment to give to their jobs if they can be convinced it makes sense to give it."

Any book like this is going to be a little too rah-rah for my tastes. The business world can be ugly and harsh, and leadership books often seem like a lot of artificial spin meant to replace real humanity and emotional commitment with fake feelings of enthusiasm. Or worse, instruction manuals in how to manipulate people to follow your leadership -- for your benefit, not theirs. Yet I find this particular book to be pretty honest, and to be useful for me as a tool to think about some important issues. There is an emotional, personal level to managing people, whether you like it or not. When you become a manager, your work life is suddenly more personal -- you have a type of responsibility for a group of people -- and also less personal -- you suddenly represent the face of the organization and its leadership, internally, to others. If nothing else, this book can make you feel that someone out there has thought about what it feels like to be in that position. And what might make that experience better.

This book might offer useful insights to anyone who feels they have to sacrifice a bit of their humanity to function in the world of business and/or large organizations. Or anyone who leads an organization or manages a team. Or anyone who is having "core values" thrust upon them in the workplace, and wants to find the positive potential within it. As long as the reader is prepared for a degree of business-book schmuckiness that goes with cheerleading for people who run giant corporations and are super-satisfied with themselves for their great leadership and are super proud of their fabulous personal success. And are superthrilled to pay this author gobs of money to come in and supercharge their organization's super enthusiasm, etc. There's a certain buy-in cost you have to pay to read a book like this; just as there is to work at a big organization, especially a profit-seeking one. You have to be willing to pay that cost, and be open to the potential that lies there for something authentic, meaningful, and even fulfilling. In the book, and in the job. And maybe this book can help you see more potential for that in the job than you see now.

[Jay French · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must admit, in reading the blurbs about Slap’s book I figured it would be a rehash of any number of other touchy feely management/motivational books. But “Bury My Heart…” took a different tact than other books. Instead of focusing on the motivational aspect of his topic, Slap describes his concept, includes a few detailed company examples, and follows with some exercises to help determine values. I completed the exercises and found them quite useful in evaluating my own values – even tried them on my kids. Slap even discusses a financial benefit of his program (retaining great salespeople), which is often missing in books relating to values. Having worked for two of the people mentioned in the book and having seen Slap give a keynote, I see the sense in what he is suggesting. The book doesn’t really deal in applying his values concept from bottom up in an organization – this is driven by leaders. I also felt that this applied mostly to highly extroverted leaders. I could see a follow-on book dealing with these aspects. I listened on audio narrated by Slap himself. His gravelly, DJ-like voice works very well. I dislike lists being read on audiobooks, and Slap wisely moves his lists to a website. However, about a dozen times in the audiobook he reads identical directions to access the PDF, wasting about 20 seconds each time. Overall a refreshing read. Disclosure: I received this audiobook in a contest.

[Stan Slap · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read Bury My Heart at Conference Room B I was an employee with managers. You would think this is strange as an employee to read a book on Management Training but I learned so much. In fact I would go as far as to say this book is just as much benefit to employees as it is to managers. I say this because I got a real inside view of how my managers really should be running things & how I personally should be treated. Motivation not through fear/reward but the ethical way by inducing true emotional commitment to the cause. This book was life changing for me and I think every manager/employee should read this book. It will improve the lives of people all over the world. I can't wait for the next book to come out.

Merged review:

When I read Bury My Heart at Conference Room B I was an employee with managers. You would think this is strange as an employee to read a book on Management Training but I learned so much. In fact I would go as far as to say this book is just as much benefit to employees as it is to managers. I say this because I got a real inside view of how my managers really should be running things & how I personally should be treated. Motivation not through fear/reward but the ethical way by inducing true emotional commitment to the cause. This book was life changing for me and I think every manager/employee should read this book. It will improve the lives of people all over the world. I can't wait for the next book to come out.

[Mary Kruft · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far I'm hooked and want to give a copy to everyone I work with and keep reading parts out loud to Chuck - stay tuned to see if the passion continues:) 3 months later - and this book is a keeper. I will admit I "skimmed" some parts of "list-making" and "exercises" to verify that "you are in the right job" where your daily values aren't compromised. I highlighted SO MANY parts of this book & actually used some in a T/Y note to my boss. "The heart of an organization is hardwired to the heart of its leader" is just one thing I remember. "When a manager speaks, people look like they're paying attention but are anxiously awaiting you to stop talking. When a leader speaks, people listen." All of us have worked for "managers" and hopefully all of us have at one point worked with "leaders." With our household having some major work change issues, this was a great book to read. If you are pondering a career change, questioning if your company is the right place for you, or just want to know how to "make a difference" at work, I suggest this book.

[Brook Bakay · Rating 2 out of 5]

There isn't much here beyond "Be yourself, stick to what you believe in". There, saved you some money and time.

Half of this book is the book talking about how great it is. The other half is mostly common sense with a liberal sprinkling of motivational speaking. I learned a great deal about how to sell things to mid-upper level management though.

It gets two stars because the message is valid, and while it is common sense, it seems lacking in most corporate cultures. The way to motivate people is to listen to them, actually give a shit about them and give them the authority, trust and support to make a difference. The message of the book is a little more about "stand for something, let everyone know what that is, be consistent and open" - this will make you a leader, and make others want to follow you.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable and challenging, Slap explains his 20 year process of moving enterprises from their Bitter Place to their Better Place by value driven leadership. The premise, which Slap intuited and was proved by neuroscience, is that the only way to effect real change is thru emotional inspiration and commitment which marries personal Values with work goals. Authenticity, my favorite word, is at the core here. If Loyalty is an important value to you - match your work behavior to that value. If Family is important - create an environment where the team has each other's back, like a family. This is a book I'm going to reread and think about over the course of the next 6 months.

[Chrissy]

Another book that I just don't feel comfortable with giving a star rating because:
a) I'm not the intended audience.
b) I haven't read anything similar for comparison.
c) I felt as if my poor eyeballs were just skimming words by the end.

In a nutshell, the first chunk of this book basically just tells the reader -- over and over -- that they're about to read a super innovative, amazing, life-changing, blah blah blah business book. The last chunk really just says "Be yourself and stick to your values".

There ya go -- the cliff notes version. Maybe if you're a manager you'd enjoy this more? Who knows. I'm not sure why I picked this up at the library, honestly.

[Agile Kindergarten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable and challenging, Slap explains his 20 year process of moving enterprises from their Bitter Place to their Better Place by value driven leadership. The premise, which Slap intuited and was proved by neuroscience, is that the only way to effect real change is thru emotional inspiration and commitment which marries personal Values with work goals. Authenticity, my favorite word, is at the core here. If Loyalty is an important value to you - match your work behavior to that value. If Family is important - create an environment where the team has each other's back, like a family. This is a book I'm going to reread and think about over the course of the next 6 months.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fortunately, this book is much more applicable to the corporate job I quit to become a public librarian than it is to my current job as a public librarian. Despite the pay cut and other financial ramifications of my decision, this book made me feel better all over again about quitting my corporate job. Although I don't think this book has anything to say that hasn't been said in other leadership books, I think the advice would be effective if someone applied it seriously. (And I love the title.)

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

You have to look past the terrible, terrible title of this book, and also kind of skim over the first couple of chapters (which largely come across as self-congratulatory) but there is real knowledge in here and, applied correcty, could really make you think about what drives you and how to translate that into a real connection between yourself, your job, and the people you work with.

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good business book, about managing with ethics and values. Helps focus on longer term values at work and stay consistent with your beliefs. This is written very simply as a checklist and it its own corny way it works.

I have used this with my team (my values are Innovation and Teamwork) and they have responded well.

[Adam Wiggins · Rating 2 out of 5]

Makes a great point in the introduction: you do your best work when you are emotionally invested in your job and your company. You can only be emotionally invested when you are able to "live your values at work." I agree.

After that it goes on a rambly series of annoying and slightly preachy annecdotes that have seemingly little to do with the thesis. I gave up about halfway through.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can't agree with the negative reviews here. I found this book to be funny, accurate and important. Perhaps not the newest idea, but an earnest argument and a terrific antidote to the numbing effects of the modern workplace.

[Maron · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this to be a very difficult read to stick with. Once you get beyond the repetition and give is a fair chance, it doesn't seem to go anywhere. The best part are the various stories from participants.

[Pramod · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of common sense! Good read.

The book drags a bit of HOW to implement the value system in your organisation...a smart manager should be able to figure that out without requiring a word-by-word playbook.

[Douglas Hutcheon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as Epic as the name suggests. Some excellent ideas and some great candid statements.

[Theodore Kinni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Companies should encourage managers to live and work according to their personal values.

[Tom Brand · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great book about inspiring leadership in the workplace. If you are looking for answers on how to balance who you are at home with who you are or are expected to be at the office this book is for you.

[Rick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Self indulgent as most books on leadership are.

[Andrew Mossberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

very fun and useful guide to values-led leadership techniques. I can see why this was recommended to me as it is full of immediately useful tips in team leadership.

[Brett · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is pretty good, but the exercises to help you identify your core values? Priceless!