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Outside the Ordinary World
Sylvia Sandon is at a crossroads in her life. A wife and mother of two daughters, she and her city-planner husband grapple with the escalating renovation of their antique farmhouse--a situation that mirrors the disarray in Sylvia's life. Facing a failing marriage and a famished career as an art teacher, Sylvia finds herself suddenly powerless to the allure of Tai Rosen, the father of her most difficult art student. As their passion ignites, Sylvia is forced to examine her past, and the seeds of betrayal that were sown decades earlier by her mother's secret life.
Eloquently written and deeply thought-provoking, Ostermiller's Outside the Ordinary World crosses many years and miles--from the California brushfires in the 1970s to New England during the first half of this decade. Raised Seventh Day Adventist, Sylvia must reconcile the conflicting values exhibited by her parents--a mother involved in an extramarital affair and a father who was emotionally distant and abusive--while coming to terms with her own disturbing role in her family's dissolution and father's tragic death.
While infidelity is a subject often explored in fiction, Ostermiller shines a razor-sharp lens on the gray areas surrounding betrayal, the complex interplay of religion, and the powerful legacy passed down from one generation to the next. At the same time, she reveals the redemptive power of the human spirit to love, transform, and forgive despite family history.
Eloquently written and deeply thought-provoking, Ostermiller's Outside the Ordinary World crosses many years and miles--from the California brushfires in the 1970s to New England during the first half of this decade. Raised Seventh Day Adventist, Sylvia must reconcile the conflicting values exhibited by her parents--a mother involved in an extramarital affair and a father who was emotionally distant and abusive--while coming to terms with her own disturbing role in her family's dissolution and father's tragic death.
While infidelity is a subject often explored in fiction, Ostermiller shines a razor-sharp lens on the gray areas surrounding betrayal, the complex interplay of religion, and the powerful legacy passed down from one generation to the next. At the same time, she reveals the redemptive power of the human spirit to love, transform, and forgive despite family history.
374 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2010
12 people are currently reading
862 people want to read
About the author
Dori Ostermiller
1 book45 followersDori Ostermiller was born in Los Angeles, a fifth-generation Californian. In her early 20's, she abandoned her path as a pre-med student to pursue an MFA in writing at the University of Massachusetts.
Since then, her work has appeared in numerous literary journals, including The Bellingham Review, Roanoke Review, Alligator Juniper, Chautauqua Literary Journal and the Massachusetts Review. She is the recipient of a Massachusetts Cultural Council Artist's Grant, a Walker Gibson award and a Tobias Wolf Fiction award, and is the founder of Writers in Progress, a literary arts center in Western Massachusetts.
Her debut novel, Outside the Ordinary World, was an Indie-Next Notable book, an Ingram's Premier pick, and was long-listed for both the MLA's Best Books of 201 list and the Richard and Judy bookclub in the UK.
Dori currently lives in Northampton, with her husband and two daughters, and is at work on her next novel.
Since then, her work has appeared in numerous literary journals, including The Bellingham Review, Roanoke Review, Alligator Juniper, Chautauqua Literary Journal and the Massachusetts Review. She is the recipient of a Massachusetts Cultural Council Artist's Grant, a Walker Gibson award and a Tobias Wolf Fiction award, and is the founder of Writers in Progress, a literary arts center in Western Massachusetts.
Her debut novel, Outside the Ordinary World, was an Indie-Next Notable book, an Ingram's Premier pick, and was long-listed for both the MLA's Best Books of 201 list and the Richard and Judy bookclub in the UK.
Dori currently lives in Northampton, with her husband and two daughters, and is at work on her next novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 150 reviews
June 22, 2010
I read Dori Ostermiller's novel in two sittings--and I am not a particularly fast reader. What made it so compelling for me has to do with the way in which Ostermiller has created a narrator whose own story, occurring in the new millenium, begins to mirror (rather against her will) that of her mother thirty years prior.
Yes, the pivotal moments in the lives of this mother and daughter do involve extramarital affairs. But as the title of the novel indicates, the real crucible for both women, as they come to maturity in such different times, has to do with the ways in which the demands of the "ordinary" world (children, husbands, property, and if there is time, a career of sorts) threatens the possibility of anything extraordinary.
What this book is really about is what women live on--whether they can live on bread alone, as it were, or require something more, some manna from heaven. The answer that the novel delivers is tough-minded and compassionate--and deeply sensitive to the many crosscurrents by which the public self can be drowned by the desperation of the personal self--and vice-versa. I appreciate the way in which this novel challenges our sometimes easy complacency about the so-called new freedoms enjoyed by women in this generation. In this book, the stress points in the lives of women may have been re-drawn but they have never quite been eased.
A final note: one of the delights of the book is the tactile quality with which Ostermiller creates characters. The narrator's mother, Elaine Sandon, is one of the most vividly drawn characters I have encountered in recent fiction. Ostermiller builds her molecule by molecule until she walks the pages--we get every inch of her, ever mole on her skin, every tic in her way of talking, every physical mannerism.
I am a teacher--and in my fall fiction class at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, I will include this novel on my reading list.
Yes, the pivotal moments in the lives of this mother and daughter do involve extramarital affairs. But as the title of the novel indicates, the real crucible for both women, as they come to maturity in such different times, has to do with the ways in which the demands of the "ordinary" world (children, husbands, property, and if there is time, a career of sorts) threatens the possibility of anything extraordinary.
What this book is really about is what women live on--whether they can live on bread alone, as it were, or require something more, some manna from heaven. The answer that the novel delivers is tough-minded and compassionate--and deeply sensitive to the many crosscurrents by which the public self can be drowned by the desperation of the personal self--and vice-versa. I appreciate the way in which this novel challenges our sometimes easy complacency about the so-called new freedoms enjoyed by women in this generation. In this book, the stress points in the lives of women may have been re-drawn but they have never quite been eased.
A final note: one of the delights of the book is the tactile quality with which Ostermiller creates characters. The narrator's mother, Elaine Sandon, is one of the most vividly drawn characters I have encountered in recent fiction. Ostermiller builds her molecule by molecule until she walks the pages--we get every inch of her, ever mole on her skin, every tic in her way of talking, every physical mannerism.
I am a teacher--and in my fall fiction class at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, I will include this novel on my reading list.
May 19, 2010
Let me tell you why I love this book. Have you noticed the current trend in fiction these days – I have, I buy them for a living –many of the popular ones tell good stories, and more often than not they feature protagonists who are supernatural or canine or both. They are engrossing, for the length of time it takes to read them, but they lack an individual persona like a preteen who relinquishes her stunning uniqueness for the false safety of a peer identity.
“Outside the Ordinary World” is not just the title of a book, it is its identity.
Ostermiller writes exquisitely. Her prose style is as dynamic as her fire imagery; it gently flickers, quietly smolders, suddenly sears, or can rage unpredictably. Read this: “I was trembling like an addict as I stumbled after him, my thoughts feral and haphazard –predestination, species extinction. The last plagues – how many were there again? What were they called?” Ah, prose with a comedic, self-observing ego that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Well, until it does. From the first page: “Though I’ve never been taught to believe in purgatory, it must be a place like this … a land where we linger, mourning our nature like obstinate children whose parents warned them about the crack in the sidewalk, the fissure in the glass, the lethal fork in the trail.”
Over and over again, sentences like these held me, asking me to not let them go, and while I could see the storyline over their shoulders –a beckoning force —I let them hold me, not a difficult choice really, it is what I hunger for when I read and too often find myself settling instead for meager lesses.
If other reviewers proclaim, “I couldn’t put this book down”, do not think I misled you. Yes I savored sentences, and often, but they also afforded me some relief from a deftly contrived tension that Ostermiller sets up -- and fans continually-- the potential that devastating family secrets (as safe as love letters hidden in a flimsy cardboard box) could be uncovered at any moment.
While family secrets, usually coupled with infidelity, are subjects often explored in fiction, what is unusual here is that Ostermiller’s characters –mothers, fathers, daughters, lovers --are psychologically complex and achingly human. You won’t find any heroines or villains, rather a mix of extraordinary characters that share a common trait, they are flawed. Characters that are drawn --- like moths to a flame -- to either repeat or rebel against the patterns that have led those their family members before them towards self-destruction, redemption, or perhaps even worse, mediocrity.
This novel is outside of the ordinary. It is appropriate that Sylvia is an artist. For her in world, just like one of her brilliant paintings, what is seen is just the top layer of oils. Beneath them, layer upon layer, lie the painstaking history of its making.
“Outside the Ordinary World” is not just the title of a book, it is its identity.
Ostermiller writes exquisitely. Her prose style is as dynamic as her fire imagery; it gently flickers, quietly smolders, suddenly sears, or can rage unpredictably. Read this: “I was trembling like an addict as I stumbled after him, my thoughts feral and haphazard –predestination, species extinction. The last plagues – how many were there again? What were they called?” Ah, prose with a comedic, self-observing ego that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Well, until it does. From the first page: “Though I’ve never been taught to believe in purgatory, it must be a place like this … a land where we linger, mourning our nature like obstinate children whose parents warned them about the crack in the sidewalk, the fissure in the glass, the lethal fork in the trail.”
Over and over again, sentences like these held me, asking me to not let them go, and while I could see the storyline over their shoulders –a beckoning force —I let them hold me, not a difficult choice really, it is what I hunger for when I read and too often find myself settling instead for meager lesses.
If other reviewers proclaim, “I couldn’t put this book down”, do not think I misled you. Yes I savored sentences, and often, but they also afforded me some relief from a deftly contrived tension that Ostermiller sets up -- and fans continually-- the potential that devastating family secrets (as safe as love letters hidden in a flimsy cardboard box) could be uncovered at any moment.
While family secrets, usually coupled with infidelity, are subjects often explored in fiction, what is unusual here is that Ostermiller’s characters –mothers, fathers, daughters, lovers --are psychologically complex and achingly human. You won’t find any heroines or villains, rather a mix of extraordinary characters that share a common trait, they are flawed. Characters that are drawn --- like moths to a flame -- to either repeat or rebel against the patterns that have led those their family members before them towards self-destruction, redemption, or perhaps even worse, mediocrity.
This novel is outside of the ordinary. It is appropriate that Sylvia is an artist. For her in world, just like one of her brilliant paintings, what is seen is just the top layer of oils. Beneath them, layer upon layer, lie the painstaking history of its making.
September 6, 2010
Outside the Ordinary World is a gripping page-turner; a book that grabs you from the very first pages and doesn’t let go. It’s a book about the legacy of betrayal and there’s not a single false or sanctimonious note to be found. Have I mentioned it’s very, very good?
The book is divided into two narratives; the first takes place in the mid-70s when the protagonist, Sylvie, is only 12 years old. Her mother is “perfect”, the kind of mom who “wallpapered the insides of her silverware drawers” and her father is an ambitious surgeon who drinks too much and is prone to violence. Into this mix steps Mr. Robert, her mother’s lover, a man who is the epitome of everything her father is not – sensitive, funny, loving, and full of hopes and dreams.
Thirty years later, Sylvie will ask her mother, “Did it feel like you had a choice? Or were you driven by forces beyond your control?” Her reason for the question is vastly personal: she, too, is on a crossroads, between her solid but emotionally absent husband Nathan, and her lover, Tai, who, symbolically, is a landscape architect who build labyrinths.
Sylvie experiences her affair as “watching myself fall right through my life, floorboards splintering.” Using her lover’s language, she reflects that love is not simply “working the soil and laying the foundation for growth. There are boulders and tree roots , storm fronts and longing, someone’s decomposing old work boots. There are things you forgot to harvest, weeks of torrential memories…” As the affair takes wing, Sylvie struggles both toward and against her shared history with her mother, striving to make sense of her past, present…and future.
“Ordinary World” goes far beyond a depiction of two marriages imploding – mother’s and daughter’s. It’s also about how our past comes back to haunt us, how we never truly escape the choices we make, and how most of the time, the power to fulfill our dreams lies in our own hands, not in the hands of others. It’s about how easy relationships can fall apart and how hard it is to keep it together. It’s about how unresolved issues come back to bite us. And most of all, it’s about how we need to “let go” to truly find ourselves.
The book is divided into two narratives; the first takes place in the mid-70s when the protagonist, Sylvie, is only 12 years old. Her mother is “perfect”, the kind of mom who “wallpapered the insides of her silverware drawers” and her father is an ambitious surgeon who drinks too much and is prone to violence. Into this mix steps Mr. Robert, her mother’s lover, a man who is the epitome of everything her father is not – sensitive, funny, loving, and full of hopes and dreams.
Thirty years later, Sylvie will ask her mother, “Did it feel like you had a choice? Or were you driven by forces beyond your control?” Her reason for the question is vastly personal: she, too, is on a crossroads, between her solid but emotionally absent husband Nathan, and her lover, Tai, who, symbolically, is a landscape architect who build labyrinths.
Sylvie experiences her affair as “watching myself fall right through my life, floorboards splintering.” Using her lover’s language, she reflects that love is not simply “working the soil and laying the foundation for growth. There are boulders and tree roots , storm fronts and longing, someone’s decomposing old work boots. There are things you forgot to harvest, weeks of torrential memories…” As the affair takes wing, Sylvie struggles both toward and against her shared history with her mother, striving to make sense of her past, present…and future.
“Ordinary World” goes far beyond a depiction of two marriages imploding – mother’s and daughter’s. It’s also about how our past comes back to haunt us, how we never truly escape the choices we make, and how most of the time, the power to fulfill our dreams lies in our own hands, not in the hands of others. It’s about how easy relationships can fall apart and how hard it is to keep it together. It’s about how unresolved issues come back to bite us. And most of all, it’s about how we need to “let go” to truly find ourselves.
January 1, 2011
My roommate and I were both psychology majors. She was working on a paper about infidelity and she asked me if I thought I could stay with a husband how had cheated on me. My answer was instantaneous. Of course not. No hesitation. The more we talked, however, the more I began to wonder. I still doubt I could stay in a relationship with someone who had broken my trust in that way, but I eventually came to see that it wasn't black and white. And you really never can know what you would do unless you were in that situation yourself. Relationships of any kind can be complex, marriage especially so. The reasons for infidelity vary and some couples are able to work through whatever issues they had that brought them to that particular juncture in their lives. Some aren't. So, while I don't condone infidelity, I do, on some level, understand why it can happen in certain instances. A breakdown of communication is often at the core. There are exceptions, of course. There are bad people out there, after all. And sometimes couples do grow apart.
Dori Ostermiller's novel, Outside the Ordinary World, tells the story of a family in turmoil. Sylvia finds herself unhappy in her marriage and frustrated with her life. She is an artist who hasn't felt inspired to paint like she once was, feels neglected by her husband, and overwhelmed by her motherly duties. When Tai walks into her life she gives in to her longings--here is someone who is interested in her, listens to her and has reawakened something in her that has long been dormant. Ironically, she finds herself on a similar path that her mother had led many years ago, despite her promise to herself that she'd be nothing like her. Sylvia's own mother had an affair for years; she, too, unhappy in her marriage and with her life. Their two stories are different, however, on many levels as became evident as the two stories progressed and eventually came together. Sylvia's marriage with her husband was much different from that of her mother's and father's. The direction their lives took was also much different.
It is easy to judge Sylvia and her mother for the choices they made. Both made mistakes and many of them. I found myself especially angry at Sylvia's mother, Elaine, because she involved her children in her affair, asking them to keep Mr. Robert a secret for so many years. It put the girls in a very bad position, pitting them against their father in a way and making them choose sides.
The novel goes back and forth between the present and the past. We get a glimpse into Sylvia's childhood as Sylvia sees it as well as her current life. To a degree I empathized with Sylvia. What she was feeling and going through is normal. How we react to such feelings is what makes the difference. Sylvia chose to seek the intimacy she longed for elsewhere. I don't agree with her choices and admit to clicking my tongue at her behavior and rationalization more than once throughout the novel. And yet. I still felt for her and could see how she could make the choices she made, however wrong they were. And as the story progressed, it became more and more clear that she wasn't the only one to blame for her failing marriage.
What most interested me in the novel was the impact the affairs had on the children, both Sylvia and her sister and well as Sylvia's own children, particularly her oldest. While Elaine was more obvious in her affair, Sylvia tried to keep hers a secret from her children. Even despite that, her secretiveness and unhappiness had severe repercussions on the rest of her family.
Dori Ostermiller does a good job of creating characters who are flawed and very real, and, while I did find myself feeling bad for the husbands (Sylvia's and also her own father), they weren't completely innocent for their part in their crumbling marriages, which is often true in situations like theirs. In fact, I had difficult time feeling bad for Sylvia's father at times; some of his own actions really made me angry. It doesn't erase the blame and fault that falls squarely on the shoulders of the person who had the affair, but it can shed light on the why of it.
I also really appreciated how the author brought out the complexities in situations like this--that no two relationships are alike and that while couples do split up over affairs, attempts and actual reconciliation can also be a goal. Even in the aftermath, once the secret is out, however, it is not easy, not only for the couple but the children as well. There is no happily ever after ending.
Outside the Ordinary World tackles a subject matter that is outside of my comfort zone as I have rather strong negative feelings about infidelity. I wasn't sure how I would react to Sylvia. One of the aspects I love about fiction is being able to step outside of my own ordinary world and into that of others, including the lives of someone whose shoes I can't see myself walking in. I've always had an interest in knowing what makes people tick, why they make the decisions they do, and I find that often in the fiction I read. I never felt that Sylvia was a bad person, nor was her mother. They were lost and confused. I don't like the decisions they made, but when haven't we all made a mistake, some bigger than others? The hope is that we can learn from them so as not to make the same mistakes again.
Dori Ostermiller's novel, Outside the Ordinary World, tells the story of a family in turmoil. Sylvia finds herself unhappy in her marriage and frustrated with her life. She is an artist who hasn't felt inspired to paint like she once was, feels neglected by her husband, and overwhelmed by her motherly duties. When Tai walks into her life she gives in to her longings--here is someone who is interested in her, listens to her and has reawakened something in her that has long been dormant. Ironically, she finds herself on a similar path that her mother had led many years ago, despite her promise to herself that she'd be nothing like her. Sylvia's own mother had an affair for years; she, too, unhappy in her marriage and with her life. Their two stories are different, however, on many levels as became evident as the two stories progressed and eventually came together. Sylvia's marriage with her husband was much different from that of her mother's and father's. The direction their lives took was also much different.
It is easy to judge Sylvia and her mother for the choices they made. Both made mistakes and many of them. I found myself especially angry at Sylvia's mother, Elaine, because she involved her children in her affair, asking them to keep Mr. Robert a secret for so many years. It put the girls in a very bad position, pitting them against their father in a way and making them choose sides.
The novel goes back and forth between the present and the past. We get a glimpse into Sylvia's childhood as Sylvia sees it as well as her current life. To a degree I empathized with Sylvia. What she was feeling and going through is normal. How we react to such feelings is what makes the difference. Sylvia chose to seek the intimacy she longed for elsewhere. I don't agree with her choices and admit to clicking my tongue at her behavior and rationalization more than once throughout the novel. And yet. I still felt for her and could see how she could make the choices she made, however wrong they were. And as the story progressed, it became more and more clear that she wasn't the only one to blame for her failing marriage.
What most interested me in the novel was the impact the affairs had on the children, both Sylvia and her sister and well as Sylvia's own children, particularly her oldest. While Elaine was more obvious in her affair, Sylvia tried to keep hers a secret from her children. Even despite that, her secretiveness and unhappiness had severe repercussions on the rest of her family.
Dori Ostermiller does a good job of creating characters who are flawed and very real, and, while I did find myself feeling bad for the husbands (Sylvia's and also her own father), they weren't completely innocent for their part in their crumbling marriages, which is often true in situations like theirs. In fact, I had difficult time feeling bad for Sylvia's father at times; some of his own actions really made me angry. It doesn't erase the blame and fault that falls squarely on the shoulders of the person who had the affair, but it can shed light on the why of it.
I also really appreciated how the author brought out the complexities in situations like this--that no two relationships are alike and that while couples do split up over affairs, attempts and actual reconciliation can also be a goal. Even in the aftermath, once the secret is out, however, it is not easy, not only for the couple but the children as well. There is no happily ever after ending.
Outside the Ordinary World tackles a subject matter that is outside of my comfort zone as I have rather strong negative feelings about infidelity. I wasn't sure how I would react to Sylvia. One of the aspects I love about fiction is being able to step outside of my own ordinary world and into that of others, including the lives of someone whose shoes I can't see myself walking in. I've always had an interest in knowing what makes people tick, why they make the decisions they do, and I find that often in the fiction I read. I never felt that Sylvia was a bad person, nor was her mother. They were lost and confused. I don't like the decisions they made, but when haven't we all made a mistake, some bigger than others? The hope is that we can learn from them so as not to make the same mistakes again.
September 25, 2010
My friend Meredith gave me this book, written by a friend of hers. I have been hungry for this kind of voice in books all my life. I'm out of my earlier phase of only reading women writers, and I read lots of books by men again, but somehow when a contemporary woman writes deeply and honestly w/o any hint of aspiring to the canonical standard - I don't really know how to say it - anyway I read it almost in one sitting. It touches gently but surely on all the tender places of families and relationships. The kids are real characters. The relationship between dysfunctional childhood experiences (told in ways that make them seem entirely human and not pathological) and corresponding issues in adult life weave in and out of the story gracefully. Everyone should read this.
June 4, 2010
Beautifully written and quietly spellbinding, OUTSIDE THE ORDINARY WORLD chronicles the heartbreaking deconstruction of an American family. Dori Ostermiller skillfully melds past and present through the eyes of young Sylvie who had to bear witness to her parents’ fallibility and adult Sylvia who has to come to terms with her own choices as a wife and mother. Ostermiller’s compelling debut novel is a story of love, regret, and forgiveness that will linger with readers well after the final page is turned.
August 10, 2011
Dori Ostermiller’s debut novel Outside the Ordinary World has already been received with high critical acclaim in the US, that, along with the beautiful cover and intriguing family drama described in the synopsis had me very excited to read this one and straight from the beginning I could see what all the fuss was about. Dori’s writing grips you from the start, the beautiful imagery wrapping itself around you like a blanket. Despite Outside the Ordinary World being a debut it’s clear that Ostermiller is already a fine storyteller.
The book is told in alternate chapters flitting from present to past. Both time periods are told from our main character Sylvia’s perspective in 1970 as a child and 2004 as an adult. The alternate chapters each tell their own separate story of adultery. In the summer of 1970 Sylvia is a witness and accomplice in her own mother’s affair, carrying the burden of a secret that could destroy her family. And in present day 2004 Sylvia has grown into a troubled adult haunted by her mother’s mistakes and her own guilt for her part in them, now Sylvia is heading down the same illicit path of destruction despite swearing that she would never make her mother’s mistakes. The alternate chapters are essential to understanding Sylvia as a person and why she makes the choices she does and whilst both Sylvia and her mother’s stories mirror one another both women have very different reasons behind their adultery. Outside the Ordinary World explores the different reasons why somebody might be tempted into the arms of another and the what ifs and maybe the grass really is greener that comes along with stepping out of your day to day life.
Outside the Ordinary World is a very honest, moving account on secrets, family, marriage and the ultimate question can one ever truly escape their past? Many of the characters –especially Sylvia- are very raw and not always the easiest characters to like. But in a strange way I could respect that and thought that it fleshed them out and made them even more believable. Although I didn’t necessarily agree with Sylvia’s actions I could understand her reasoning behind them and ultimately I believe that that’s what Ostermiller wanted to get across in the first place, she wasn’t trying to excuse adultery but explain it.
This book gives the reader plenty of food for thought and delves into the torment and destruction of infidelity holding nothing back. If you’ve ever wondered how someone could so easily risk everything Outside the Ordinary World is a book that will take you through the motions. A stunning debut that I would recommend to anybody who’s ever wondered, what if?
The book is told in alternate chapters flitting from present to past. Both time periods are told from our main character Sylvia’s perspective in 1970 as a child and 2004 as an adult. The alternate chapters each tell their own separate story of adultery. In the summer of 1970 Sylvia is a witness and accomplice in her own mother’s affair, carrying the burden of a secret that could destroy her family. And in present day 2004 Sylvia has grown into a troubled adult haunted by her mother’s mistakes and her own guilt for her part in them, now Sylvia is heading down the same illicit path of destruction despite swearing that she would never make her mother’s mistakes. The alternate chapters are essential to understanding Sylvia as a person and why she makes the choices she does and whilst both Sylvia and her mother’s stories mirror one another both women have very different reasons behind their adultery. Outside the Ordinary World explores the different reasons why somebody might be tempted into the arms of another and the what ifs and maybe the grass really is greener that comes along with stepping out of your day to day life.
Outside the Ordinary World is a very honest, moving account on secrets, family, marriage and the ultimate question can one ever truly escape their past? Many of the characters –especially Sylvia- are very raw and not always the easiest characters to like. But in a strange way I could respect that and thought that it fleshed them out and made them even more believable. Although I didn’t necessarily agree with Sylvia’s actions I could understand her reasoning behind them and ultimately I believe that that’s what Ostermiller wanted to get across in the first place, she wasn’t trying to excuse adultery but explain it.
This book gives the reader plenty of food for thought and delves into the torment and destruction of infidelity holding nothing back. If you’ve ever wondered how someone could so easily risk everything Outside the Ordinary World is a book that will take you through the motions. A stunning debut that I would recommend to anybody who’s ever wondered, what if?
May 31, 2010
There are so many things I love about this novel. Like Sylvia's separate but echoing stories of her childhood and her adulthood, which are beautifully blended and woven together. And like Ostermiller's descriptions of intense moments caught in time - young Sylvie's mother curled in the patch of sunlight on the rug in the empty yellow room.
I think the real genius of this book is the way the author captures the complexity of family life - the parallel, non-intersecting domestic conversations, the not-listening, the missed cues and unanswered pleas. Ultimately though, this poignant and compelling novel left me with a profound sense of connection between people, a hopeful and empathic portrait of family and community.
I think the real genius of this book is the way the author captures the complexity of family life - the parallel, non-intersecting domestic conversations, the not-listening, the missed cues and unanswered pleas. Ultimately though, this poignant and compelling novel left me with a profound sense of connection between people, a hopeful and empathic portrait of family and community.
April 5, 2011
This is turning out to be a good choice given I just grabbed it at the library based on a review. It follows a mother and daughter, first in the 1970s and then in present day. Both are unfaithful in their marriages but somehow the book manages to be un-judgmental enough that you end up able to focus on the women, their choices, lives and so on, without being entirely focused on 'the cheating'.
Just finished--def. worth reading. The female characters are flawed and vacilate between being likeable and not, the male charactors are less realistic. Overall a very insightful and different take on infidelity and marital crisis.
Just finished--def. worth reading. The female characters are flawed and vacilate between being likeable and not, the male charactors are less realistic. Overall a very insightful and different take on infidelity and marital crisis.
June 22, 2022
although sylvie frustrated me throughout the book, it was hard to be completely mad at her due to the incredible characterization that Ostermiller incorporates. in fact i would argue that the characterization is what allows the readers to connect with the story even if they don’t necessarily relate to any of the characters in the book. there is no one character in the book that you can hate. every character makes mistakes and is very far from perfect, but- at least for me- it showed that humans cannot live their life without being affected by the mistakes of their parents. not only were the characters depicted having layers within themselves, but the imagery and sentence structure was beautiful to read. thank you zoe for the book 🫡
October 25, 2021
Realistic portrait of infidelity and its effects on a family. At first I thought it was "chick lit," no aspersions on chick lit, but then it got deeper as I went along. Not that chick lit can't be deep in its way. Actually, I don't even know what chick lit is, perhaps...
December 3, 2017
Loved this, will come back to post a more in depth review.
July 17, 2011
I was recently in Lassen Volcanic Park. Had to hike in through a snow filled road. Hilly drifts of 3 to 6 feet. Slippery and occasionally unstable (falling through a foot or two of snow-unstable). It was hard hiking for me...given the up and down, probably four miles of this. Slow, painful going. My son and husband carried the packs after the first half mile. And they both also hauled the food on a sled. All this to say, I sacrificed clothes for books. My husband had ten times more articles of clothing than I did. I packed three books by men because then I could share with my sons, my husband, and left this one in the car, asking someone to retrieve it each time someone walked out to the road. No one found it. I missed a woman's voice. Expected this book to be intimate and slightly "slight." It wasn't at all. Good writing and honest words about marriage. I've read several reviews now, and some fault the chapters about Sylvia's childhood; others, the chapters about her adult, married life. I disagree. Both felt strong to me, although I resonated more with the adult chapters. That said, the exploration of the way that childhood experiences affect our adult lives seemed to me to be wonderfully done. I wish I'd been able to sit on the cabin porch in the sun, looking at the lake, as I read this book. It would have been perfect. But part of the book's message, and it has several, is that we take the hand we're dealt and create a life (or a vacation) from it. Good plane reading, and nice to ease back into this, much easier, life at home while reading this book. One interesting thing---I'm so glad I'm finished raising and living with teenagers.
November 17, 2010
I liked this book a lot. Dori Ostermiller has done an exceptional job creating a lattice work of relationships past and present, west coast and east coast, durable and ephemeral . The writing style is arresting, poetic, and so specific in its use of imagery and metaphor that I felt at times like I was reading a painting, a painting that Sylvia Sandon had meticulously created to illustrate and to make sense of the shifting narratives of her life.
Another exceptional element of Ostermiller's novel is her melding of a gripping, page-turning plot with the reflective interiority of her protagonist, a protagonist who seemed very real to me, i.e., a human being complete with the complexities, contradictions, and disappointments that come with living a life.
Anyone who has had an affair, or who has been with a lover who has done so, knows that it is a symptom of a deeply painful psychic unease and unhappiness. Granted, it is a desperate symptom, one that is a prime target for moralists everywhere. But Sylvia is in a desperate situation. I was hoping that she wouldn't take the route that she did with Tai, but I understood her actions fully. And that leads me to another telling aspect of Ostermiller's writing: she is not afraid to confront the messy truths of domesticity, the unpleasant truths of long term, loving relationships, and the still-surprising (even in the 21st century) truths about women's sexual passion.
Ostermiller's book is one filled with imagery, insights, and ultimately, compassion. I recommend it highly.
Another exceptional element of Ostermiller's novel is her melding of a gripping, page-turning plot with the reflective interiority of her protagonist, a protagonist who seemed very real to me, i.e., a human being complete with the complexities, contradictions, and disappointments that come with living a life.
Anyone who has had an affair, or who has been with a lover who has done so, knows that it is a symptom of a deeply painful psychic unease and unhappiness. Granted, it is a desperate symptom, one that is a prime target for moralists everywhere. But Sylvia is in a desperate situation. I was hoping that she wouldn't take the route that she did with Tai, but I understood her actions fully. And that leads me to another telling aspect of Ostermiller's writing: she is not afraid to confront the messy truths of domesticity, the unpleasant truths of long term, loving relationships, and the still-surprising (even in the 21st century) truths about women's sexual passion.
Ostermiller's book is one filled with imagery, insights, and ultimately, compassion. I recommend it highly.
September 3, 2010
I won this book through First Reads.
I dont normally read books in this genre but something made me want to read it. I think it was the cover that drew me to wanting it sooo badly, I was intreaged to find out more about it.
I am glad that I read this book, but wouldn't say it was one of my favourite reads of the year. I did though found myself unable to put it down once I was reading it but not really thinking about it when I wasnt.
Dori Ostermiller created characters with depth and life. I liked the way that the chapters alternated between Sylvia being a child in the 70's and an adult in 2004.
Outside the Ordinary World is a powerful novel about something that happens to a lot of people this day in age,and is allready written about hundreds of time in many different ways by lots of authors. You may think that this book will be the same type of sob story about a broken family. But I can assure you that you will not regret opening the book sitting down with a nice hot cup of tea and reading all about Sylvia's life.
I dont normally read books in this genre but something made me want to read it. I think it was the cover that drew me to wanting it sooo badly, I was intreaged to find out more about it.
I am glad that I read this book, but wouldn't say it was one of my favourite reads of the year. I did though found myself unable to put it down once I was reading it but not really thinking about it when I wasnt.
Dori Ostermiller created characters with depth and life. I liked the way that the chapters alternated between Sylvia being a child in the 70's and an adult in 2004.
Outside the Ordinary World is a powerful novel about something that happens to a lot of people this day in age,and is allready written about hundreds of time in many different ways by lots of authors. You may think that this book will be the same type of sob story about a broken family. But I can assure you that you will not regret opening the book sitting down with a nice hot cup of tea and reading all about Sylvia's life.
April 15, 2025
“I’d thought I knew everything about her by heart, even the contents of her cosmetics cases, her girlhood photos and retired longings.
But watching her at Disneyland that afternoon—she was sucking sticky sheets of cotton candy from her fingers, trying on every hat in the mad hatters shop, laughing open mouthed as we rounded the Matterhorn—I had the sickening feeling that my mother was a stranger, that if I were to walk up behind her and press my nose into her back, as I was longing to do, she’d turn with a start as if I were some other women’s child, mistaking her for my own”
Isn’t that exactly how you’d feel witnessing your mom go thru a secret love affair?
“I wanted to give in too, but I couldn’t. It was like the moment at the carnival when you look around and understand how makeshift it all is; how ramshackle the machinery you’ve been trusting your life to”
“Perhaps there are worlds between every couple that no one on the outside can detect”
That’s the truth!!!
Interesting story on infidelity, family, secrets, and relationships. Deep character development.
But watching her at Disneyland that afternoon—she was sucking sticky sheets of cotton candy from her fingers, trying on every hat in the mad hatters shop, laughing open mouthed as we rounded the Matterhorn—I had the sickening feeling that my mother was a stranger, that if I were to walk up behind her and press my nose into her back, as I was longing to do, she’d turn with a start as if I were some other women’s child, mistaking her for my own”
Isn’t that exactly how you’d feel witnessing your mom go thru a secret love affair?
“I wanted to give in too, but I couldn’t. It was like the moment at the carnival when you look around and understand how makeshift it all is; how ramshackle the machinery you’ve been trusting your life to”
“Perhaps there are worlds between every couple that no one on the outside can detect”
That’s the truth!!!
Interesting story on infidelity, family, secrets, and relationships. Deep character development.
April 21, 2011
The year is 2005, and Sylvia is married with two daughters. For the last 7 years, Sylvia and her husband Nathan along with the girls have spent their weekends working on their "dream home", an old farmhouse, which that they bought at auction and hoped to have totally renovated within a year. The excitement of their marriage is gone, the renovations are not going well, the money is running out and to make matters worse, Sylvia's carreer as an artist is at a standstill.
Flash back 30 years, twelve year old Sylvia has a secret which she shares with her sister Ali and her mother Elaine. Elaine has a "special friend" Mr. Robert, who takes the trio on trips, buys them gifts and even sends Sylvia cards which she treasures and hides in a box from her father.
Although Sylvia tells herself that she is not like her mother and will not make the same mistakes, she is tempted to make decisions that have the potential to destroy everything she has.
Flash back 30 years, twelve year old Sylvia has a secret which she shares with her sister Ali and her mother Elaine. Elaine has a "special friend" Mr. Robert, who takes the trio on trips, buys them gifts and even sends Sylvia cards which she treasures and hides in a box from her father.
Although Sylvia tells herself that she is not like her mother and will not make the same mistakes, she is tempted to make decisions that have the potential to destroy everything she has.
August 17, 2012
Told in chapters that alternate between Sylvia the adult and Sylvia the child, Ostermiller has crafted a novel that twice demonstrates the impact of infidelity. Sylvia and her older sister, Ali, live with a father who is often distant and cruel, and a weak mother with a long-term "boyfriend" who is part of the fabric of their lives. As an adult, Sylvia repeats what she learned as a child and pursues an intimate relationship at the expense of her own marriage and children. While Sylvia's mother chose to make her daughters complicit in her illicit relationship, Sylvia harbors a secret. This is a book that underscores the reality that there are immediate and far-reaching consequences that result from how we choose to live our lives.
February 23, 2013
I bought this one a few years ago as I strolled through B & N. I let it sit on my bookshelf for too long. I loved this story told in alternating generations but always from Sylvia's point-of-view. She shares her current family struggles interspersed with her childhood. Through the back and forth we see how childhood lessons become adult behavior. Very well done.
August 16, 2010
Fine light reading for a vacation, though consuming an entire book about infidelity made me a little angry.
November 6, 2010
Extremely well written, engaging story. I couldn't put it down.
April 26, 2012
Far and away the most beautifully written novel I've ever read!
September 26, 2013
wow!! blown away with the writing. It's about family and an affair and the repetition of mistakes, history repeating itself. Lovely lovely book. Hope she is writing another!!
June 21, 2014
I loved the way this book was written..going back and forth from Sylvie's past to present. A beautifully written story that grabs you and holds on.
February 6, 2017
I really liked the book. It is written really good and the emotions brought over well.
3,5 stars really.
3,5 stars really.
November 3, 2020
A tale about how our past comes back to haunt us, how we never truly escape the choices we make, and how most of the time, the power to fulfill our dreams lies in our own hands, not in the hands of others. It’s about how easy relationships can fall apart and how hard it is to keep it together. It’s about how unresolved issues come back to bite us. And most of all, it’s about how we need to “let go” to truly find ourselves.
This tale spans 3 generations (Elaine, Sylvia, Hannah) but told from the point of view of both the twelve-year-old Sylvia, during the bush fires of the 1970s and the adult Sylvia in 2004 in the first person. Twice demonstrating the impact of infidelity: relationship between past and present, how they intermarry.
The character development is a match for the plot development - slow but steady with sudden surprises, and with that came the real movement in plot.
Heal so that your children don't heal after you was my major take home lesson. Themes... Betrayal, love, family, infidelity, fate, religion, marriage.
Outside the Ordinary World is a very honest, moving account on secrets, family, marriage and the ultimate question can one ever truly escape their past? Many of the characters –especially Sylvia- are very raw and not always the easiest characters to like.
This tale spans 3 generations (Elaine, Sylvia, Hannah) but told from the point of view of both the twelve-year-old Sylvia, during the bush fires of the 1970s and the adult Sylvia in 2004 in the first person. Twice demonstrating the impact of infidelity: relationship between past and present, how they intermarry.
The character development is a match for the plot development - slow but steady with sudden surprises, and with that came the real movement in plot.
Heal so that your children don't heal after you was my major take home lesson. Themes... Betrayal, love, family, infidelity, fate, religion, marriage.
Outside the Ordinary World is a very honest, moving account on secrets, family, marriage and the ultimate question can one ever truly escape their past? Many of the characters –especially Sylvia- are very raw and not always the easiest characters to like.
July 4, 2017
Sylvia Sandon is at a crossroads in her life. A wife and mother of two daughters, she and her city-planner husband grapple with the escalating renovation of their antique farmhouse--a situation that mirrors the disarray in Sylvia's life. Facing a failing marriage and a famished career as an art teacher, Sylvia finds herself suddenly powerless to the allure of Tai Rosen, the father of her most difficult art student. As their passion ignites, Sylvia is forced to examine her past, and the seeds of betrayal that were sown decades earlier by her mother's secret life.
Eloquently written and deeply thought-provoking, Ostermiller's Outside the Ordinary World crosses many years and miles--from the California brushfires in the 1970s to New England during the first half of this decade. Raised Seventh Day Adventist, Sylvia must reconcile the conflicting values exhibited by her parents--a mother involved in an extramarital affair and a father who was emotionally distant and abusive--while coming to terms with her own disturbing role in her family's dissolution and father's tragic death.
Eloquently written and deeply thought-provoking, Ostermiller's Outside the Ordinary World crosses many years and miles--from the California brushfires in the 1970s to New England during the first half of this decade. Raised Seventh Day Adventist, Sylvia must reconcile the conflicting values exhibited by her parents--a mother involved in an extramarital affair and a father who was emotionally distant and abusive--while coming to terms with her own disturbing role in her family's dissolution and father's tragic death.
July 12, 2017
This was a rec from goodreads. I really liked it. Starts with mom having an affair and her kids know, but not her husband, the mom is less than ideal. The book flashes back and forth through time to childhood with cheating mom, to present where narr cheats too. Then her older daughter knows and says little, it is history repeating itself. The moms husband dies and she ends up with the affair guy. The father was abusive and at one point mom asked child what she should do. Affair guy has a farm with horses and they have fin, whereas with dad he hits child often, so of course she chooses affair guy and lives with the guild for the rest of her life. Mom and affair guy stay together till end, mom knows when daughter has started cheating, too. In the end narrator ends up stupidly leaving her emails with lover on computer and her teenage daughter finds and reads them, keeps secret for a while, but then prints them and leaves them on her fathers desk for him to find. However, in end they agree to try and work it out and look for what they used to have.
January 18, 2021
1.5 stars
I have had a fantastic start to my reading year so far.....until I read this one 😬
In the 1970’s Sylvia is a young girl keeping her mother’s affair with another man a secret from her father. 30 years later, Sylvia is also having an affair herself.
And that’s about it. None of the storyline is very interesting and although everyone is feeling guilty about everything (who would have thought? 🤔), I don’t really feel that this story offers anything of value to the reader, unless you have a particular fascination with infidelity.
I nearly gave up on this halfway through (I probably should have!), but I just kept thinking it must get better....and although it did marginally in about the last 50 pages, it was not enough as I just finished the book wondering what it was that I was supposed to have gotten out of this book. If there was some view the author was trying to get across, it was lost on me 🤷🏻♀️ ⭐️.5/5
I have had a fantastic start to my reading year so far.....until I read this one 😬
In the 1970’s Sylvia is a young girl keeping her mother’s affair with another man a secret from her father. 30 years later, Sylvia is also having an affair herself.
And that’s about it. None of the storyline is very interesting and although everyone is feeling guilty about everything (who would have thought? 🤔), I don’t really feel that this story offers anything of value to the reader, unless you have a particular fascination with infidelity.
I nearly gave up on this halfway through (I probably should have!), but I just kept thinking it must get better....and although it did marginally in about the last 50 pages, it was not enough as I just finished the book wondering what it was that I was supposed to have gotten out of this book. If there was some view the author was trying to get across, it was lost on me 🤷🏻♀️ ⭐️.5/5
January 2, 2019
TL;DR: This was an engaging read with some lovely turns of language. I was engrossed both times reading it. TW (for book): Quick but vivid depictions of physical abuse.
Why I picked it up: The back cover said that it was about the emotional struggles of a woman having an affair and I was interested. I'm always curious why people fall from fidelity, and so often when it happens in books it's purely smut.
What I liked: I loved the way the book flipped back and forth between the present day and the past, the parallel journeys of mother and daughter. I especially enjoyed the 1970s story, which was populated by complex characters. I appreciate the way the mother (Elaine) is handled. She is both a deeply religious and morally ambiguous character, without falling into the "total hypocrite" trope. The impact her actions had on her young daughters was beautifully detailed and fascinating to watch.
What I disliked: I had a hard time sympathizing with the grown-up Sylvia, the main character. I understood why she was struggling in her marriage and why she was so attracted to her paramour, but I got tired of reading about her conflict. Also, I found the imagery heavyhanded. To this, I will say that I am currently focusing on imagery in my own writing, so perhaps it's standing out to me more than it does to most.
Verdict:If you're interested in it, read it. It's good. If you live in my neighborhood, it's hitting the Little Free Library circuit and you won't be sorry you picked it up.
Why I picked it up: The back cover said that it was about the emotional struggles of a woman having an affair and I was interested. I'm always curious why people fall from fidelity, and so often when it happens in books it's purely smut.
What I liked: I loved the way the book flipped back and forth between the present day and the past, the parallel journeys of mother and daughter. I especially enjoyed the 1970s story, which was populated by complex characters. I appreciate the way the mother (Elaine) is handled. She is both a deeply religious and morally ambiguous character, without falling into the "total hypocrite" trope. The impact her actions had on her young daughters was beautifully detailed and fascinating to watch.
What I disliked: I had a hard time sympathizing with the grown-up Sylvia, the main character. I understood why she was struggling in her marriage and why she was so attracted to her paramour, but I got tired of reading about her conflict. Also, I found the imagery heavyhanded. To this, I will say that I am currently focusing on imagery in my own writing, so perhaps it's standing out to me more than it does to most.
Verdict:If you're interested in it, read it. It's good. If you live in my neighborhood, it's hitting the Little Free Library circuit and you won't be sorry you picked it up.
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