My Thirty Minute Bar Mitzvah

by Denis Hirson

“There were three other people present, or five, depending on whom one chooses to include. Five, let’s say, the men divided from the women according to the timeworn tradition… The ceremony lasted precisely thirty minutes, as had been agreed on well in advance, not a second longer. One of the people present announced the end in a voice as blunt as it was relieved.”
What kind of bar mitzvah lasts no more than thirty minutes? Which five people could have been in attendance, and where could such a ceremony –– if there really was a ceremony –– have taken place under these circumstances? This book has echoes of a detective trail and as Denis Hirson gradually reveals the answers, he explores the wider ancestral and political strands of his story.

We are reminded of what the world might have looked like to a thirteen-year-old boy in the Johannesburg of the 1960s. This perspective is, thanks to his daughter, set against that same boy’s adult understanding of what had happened. This is a breathtaking account of the author being confronted by his own past.

Genres: Memoir

192 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2022

Reviews

[Owen Hatherley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am always drawn to My Parents Were Activists memoirs - there's so many kinds, many of them terrible. This is a good one, a sensitive and thoughtful child's eye view of Jewish leftist activists in apartheid South Africa; it raises a lot of unanswered questions but is very nicely done as it goes.

[B.C. Salkind · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what to expect when going into reading this, but, after reading it, I found that it was a very good memoir!

I’ve read a lot of books on various topics pertaining to Jewish identity and I think that this book gave us another perspective on that, as well as a story that was interesting. However, while I enjoyed this read, I didn’t really understand the historical context for the story and, thus, felt a little lost at times because I just didn’t know where those events fell in time or what they were.

I would recommend this read and would like to read it again after brushing up on some South African history.

Thanks to netgalley for this read!

[Beryl Eichenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has an even rudimentary knowledge of this Jewish rite of passage would know that the Barmitzvah ceremony and subsequent celebration can most definitely last for hours. It is such an important milestone for both boys and girls (bat mitzvah) shaping much of their lives ahead. So it was with curiousity that I approached ‘My Thirty- Minute Barmitvah’ by Denis Hirson.
What a simply beautifully crafted book! A slim volume with an engaging cover that gives the feel of an old-fashioned read, this is a real gem of memoir. Hirson grasps us from the first page as he recounts his rather odd ceremony but in lyrical prose giving nothing away. He intrigues us:
“There was no Hebrew spoken at my bar mitzvah nor did i read out aloud a portion of the consecrated biblical text. Everything happened in one language or possibly two but Hebrew was neither of them’.
‘There were no guests’... And so we want to know more. Growing up in Johannesburg in the 1960s, Hirson came from an Anglicised Jewish family. Father, Baruch, is a physics lecturer and mother Yael, a doctor. From an early age he realises he is different from his Jewish friends, his ramshackle home is furnished with towers of books, ‘adopted’ furniture bought from auction rooms and a moth- eaten garden and the secrets…which he knew he should not ask about. And then there is the matter of the unkosher sandwich offered to a fellow Jewish boy at his school, discarded loudly and further cementing that Hirson’s family was not like other Jewish families in the area. His father never enters the home of his parents, Granny Lily and the terminally depressed Grandpa Joe but it is the young Denis who see them often, attends Passover celebrations and is seemingly his father’s ‘message of conciliation’.
Hirson’s writing propels you forward – in many ways it is a dance as he moves backwards and forwards across the years, uncovering the secrets of his family and that of the South Africa of the early 60s. The activism, the uncertainty, the menace of apartheid and his own awakening are poignantly written with the sensitivity of the accomplished poet and author he is. But he employs a light humour that softens the edges of what he sees as a 13 year old boy and, as he matures and makes his adult choices, the understanding of that time.
This is a memoir to be savoured as each of his descriptions envelop you. As you ache for that sense of belonging, knowing that he will find that in later years but how his earliest recollections remind him he is not ‘Jewish enough’, and yet, that really is enough. The book reads almost like a detective novel as strand by strand the younger Denis meets the older and the circumstances of his bar mitzvah acknowledge the shape of the man he has become. It is a reminder that what we view as children, with the distance of age, can take on a completely different hue.

Now living in France (since 1975) he is a self - confessed long distance South African.
In his acknowledgments he tells us that this book would never have been written had it not been for his daughter Anna, who, when she turned eleven brought him back to looking closely at his relationship with his father. How fortunate for us as this is a story that will resonate with so many, not only those who lived through the turbulent South African times but globally as we all piece together the childhood that made us the adult. .

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite what I thought it would be based on the title, which only becomes clear after being emerged in the book, but it was a fine read and should appeal to those interested in both Jewish life in South Africa and the history beginning in the early 1960s. The writing itself is fine and it falls into the category of literary nonfiction. As a reader, not having a solid enough background on this topic was a bit of an impediment, but as a memoir, it had enough unusual detail to it to hold my attention until the end. And the title itself got me thinking, which is always a good sign!

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this memoir. I hope it is well read.

[books4chess · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The thing is, you did sacrifice me, didn't you? Without meaning to, no doubt, since your head was facing the direction of the Struggle. But in the I was facing you. Armed, taking my manhood in hand."

My thirty minute bar mitzvah is a sobering insight into how the impacts of a life significantly disrupted by social unrest and activism can be experienced by innocent third parties who are uprooted and destabilised in the aftermath, fracturing their relationship with their land, their language and their connection to their faith.

Hirson's memoir is short and at times confusing, which perfectly parallel his experience with his religion, his upbringing and his country of birth.

"This, then, was the ultimate gift: to understand that, in the thick of trouble, when sky and earth seemed to contract against my skin and lock me into myself, there were nonetheless other people involved in the same event, quite possibly even more distressed than I was".

True immersion with the events described within the book require, in my opinion, reading around the topic to truly understand the gravity of the events outlined within the book, but are worth exploring in greater depth to honour Hirson's time. The memoir is a beautiful tribute to his processing and coming to terms with his own bar mitzvah as a result of his daughters own impending celebration.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars for a memoir of a man coming to grips with the anger that he felt against his father's political activism in 1960s South Africa. His father is sent to prison and his son turns 13 and has a 30 minute bar mitzvah with only his father and two police officers. Not until his father is dead and he attends his daughter's bat mitzvah does he understand his anger and is able to let go. I found it sad. This was an uncorrected proof sent to me by Pushkin Press through Edelweiss. Many sentences were incomplete and I could sometimes figure out the meaning, but not always.
It is a short book that I read in 1 day.

[Sherry Stanton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart m-wrenching memoir. So well told yet so very difficult to think about how those early life events shaped the person Mr Hirson is today.

I was born in Cape Town, South Africa, 1000 miles from Johannesburg. My parents were also born in South Africa and we all grew up with a very different brainwashed perspective.

Historically, the government tried to keep blacks out of Cape Town. They were only allowed residency if they were under contract to a company for short term jobs as labourers. The work force in Cape Town then was mostly coloured, mixed race people.

South Africa is a very complicated country!

[Diana Boynton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book presents itself as a quick easy read and starts off well and light but gets heavier as you turn the pages. It was interesting to read especially as a South African- how I would have loved to know more about the authors father in his role in struggle against apartheid - maybe one of his other books cover that. I so admire those that gave up their family lives and security to join the struggle but found the authors drawn out take on being the sacrificial lamb a bit of a stretch. So many fathers are sadly absent for many reasons. At least this father was absent for a good cause.

[Laurice Taitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Achingly poignant. A memoir of what it is to be a father, and what it is to be son, a biblical tale of a sacred and fragile trust. In this small story of a 30-minute bar mitzvah lies a universe of longing, the breaking of trust, the dissembling of identity, and distance and exile as much from a place as from a self.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having grown up in Johannesburg at the same time,I found the book very moving.A carefully and beautifully crafted memoir of those times.It was a sad book and indeed,vividly illustrated what the families of activists went through.

[Leila · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent read which I finished in one sitting. Really interesting and well written.

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be deeply moving and really interesting, especially as I know one of the people mentioned in it. It’s well-written and a quick read and for me, quite poignant.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some sentences, phrases, in here that I haven't stopped thinking about.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listen to this. It was ok

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite what I thought it would be based on the title, which only becomes clear after being emerged in the book, but it was a fine read and should appeal to those interested in both Jewish life in South Africa and the history beginning in the early 1960s. The writing itself is fine and it falls into the category of literary nonfiction. As a reader, not having a solid enough background on this topic was a bit of an impediment, but as a memoir, it had enough unusual detail to it to hold my attention until the end. And the title itself got me thinking, which is always a good sign!

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this memoir. I hope it is well read.

[Strix · Rating 1 out of 5]

Uninteresting. Narrator feels like a prick. Et cetera.