These Children Who Come at You with Knives, and Other Fairy Tales: Stories

by Jim Knipfel

From the irresistibly droll mind of Jim Knipfel comes These Children Who Come at You with Knives, and Other Fairy Tales , a series of twisted fables that echo with pinpoint acuity.

A masterful storyteller whose memoirs and novels have earned him widespread acclaim, this is Knipfel’s first foray into the short story, and he delivers in this wickedly dark satire on the notion of happily ever after turns the traditional fairy tale on its head.

Among the array of lonely losers wallowing in discontent, the enterprising reader of this volume may meet a talking chicken who learns the world has little patience for intelligence, a foul-mouthed gnome set on world domination, and a magical snowman wrestling with the horror of being alive.

In These Children Who Come at You with Knives , Knipfel’s singular and brilliantly funny mind reinvents the bedtime story and offers up a wildly entertaining meditation on the perils of human nature.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Fantasy, Fairy Tales, Horror, Humor, Young Adult

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 11, 2010

Reviews

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

These collected tales are NOT for the depressed! Filled with pessimism, snark, and angry diatribe, the humor woven within the darkness easily gets lost. They aren’t really fairy-tales either; some stories are morality-based while others are simply angry rants disguised as fable. One story, “Six-Leggity Beasties” was absolutely FANTASTIC, however, and made the entire collection worthwhile. Be forewarned…there are no princesses here and even fewer happy endings.

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I had read this book when I was about eighteen or twenty I would have loved it. If I had read this book then (assuming it was out then, and didn't just get published in 2010, or assume I am twenty in 2010 and not a decrepit thirty six and that I then discovered a goodreads in 2026 and started adding books I read when I was younger but used my feelings for what thirty six year old me thought twenty year old me thought of the above-mentioned book, got it?) I would have given this five stars. I would have thought, wow! this guy is making subversive fairy tales! This might be the greatest thing since Vonnegut! And I probably would have read some more books by this guy. Instead I'm old and cranky and I got a few chuckles but the book was too grandstanding in its edginess (in the way that many writers who have New York Press in their author bios happen to be). Not that there is anything wrong with this type of edginess, but I happen to like my subversions to be a little subtler, just a hint here and there as a delicate aftertaste that explodes in the brain after a little thought. Or something like that.

This is funnier than Palahniuk. And better than anything Tom Robbins has written in probably about twenty some-odd years. And it might be better than Christopher Moore, but I've never read Christopher Moore and I'm going to stop myself from having strong opinions on an author I've never read. So, yeah I'd recommend this book, and I'll try to keep it in my rapidly calcifying and deteriorating brain as a good read for someone looking for something Vonnegut or Palahniuk-like, but who doesn't seem receptive to George Saunders.

[Melissa Chung · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book sat on my shelf for four years. As a shallow book buyer I purchased this book because the title was hilarious. It sat on my shelves because short story collections freak me out, although I continue to buy them. This was the best short story collection of "fairy tales" I have ever read. I really really really enjoyed them. Not only were they disturbing (not PC, what. so. ever. you have been warned), but they were hilarious to boot. This short story collection contains 13 stories. They were all pretty incredible, but I'm only going to talk about my favorites and share a bit about them.

The Gnome Who Would Be King- is about a Gnome who feels that his people are being ignored. That they aren't being represented properly. He hates that his people can only get work in gardens. So he goes about fighting for his fellow gnomes rights. It is hilarious. I won't spoil it.

Rancid, The Devil Horse- this one is about a ambidextrous horse who has a queer ability to use his hooves like hands. He is fed up with his life as a pony ride and breaks free. The story that follows his freedom is laugh out loud funny and the ending surprised me because yes, the story was going in a certain direction that made me believe one thing and of course it was something else. HILARIOUS!

Lastly Stench, the Crappy Snowman-what a sad sad story. I mean this one hurt my teen sons heart lol. He felt the snowman didn't deserve the kind of life that he was dealt, but truthfully this happens all the time to people. They just never get a break. I didn't laugh at this one as much as the others but I did find it better than some of the others.

If you like weird fairy tales with talking chickens, plants, sombrero wearing maggots and gnomes that just want to be KING, then pick up this book. Like I said it's not PC so if you are triggered by the words Retard, Fat or three pronged penis then you might want to skip this one.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second Reading 2015:
The reader will see many similarities to traditional fairy tales such as Frosty the Snowman, Chicken Little, Old Mother Hubbard, The Velveteen Rabbit, The Giving Tree etc.

The story I was most able to relate to is Six-Leggity Beasties because my childhood home is infested with bugs. When I visit I keep all my stuff in my suitcase and zipped up.

I also enjoyed the bloody descriptions in the final story, for instance: "As the streets of Happyland grew slick and dark with the blood of townsfolk....He strolled calmly through the ongoing savagery and carnage, dodging the occasional severed hand, flying kidney, and bouncing eyeball."

First Reading 2011:
Some of the stories are absolutely amazing - others not so great. Fun & Twisted, Entertaining - My kind of book :-) I'm gonna have to check out other books by this author because I really like his way with words :-)

The book starts out with a bang! as Satan creates the Earth and humans. I loved the first two stories The Chicken Who Was Smarter Than Everyone and The Boy Who Came to His Senses but then I was stuck in a slump of not so great stories including one about a sock monkey which I didn't really understand. Tubercular Bells was amusing even though it was disgusting. and I didn't care for Rancid, the Devil Horse. I did enjoy Six-Leggity Beasties, Maggot in a Red Sombrero and Stench, the Crappy Snowman. In the final story there is a surprise reappearance of a character from an earlier story :-)

From the second story: "The Boy Who Came to His Senses":

"Finally," she said, cutting him off in a clear dismissal of his concerns and an assertion of her princessly superiority, "you must travel back in time and prevent the assassination of Richard Nixon."

"But," Marvin broke in again, "Nixon was never assassinated."

"Then I guess that means you'll have to make two trips, doesn't it?"

Update: This book is really bizarre. So bizarre, in fact that I have created a new shelf on my goodreads shelves for this book - it's called "bizarre". I did not like all the stories, but it is certainly an example of creative writing and worth reading in my opinion. I'm glad I bought myself a copy :-) it was fun.

[Michele · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reviews of this said it was "irresistibly droll," "wickedly dark," and "wildly entertaining." I beg to differ. As someone who's read widely in and on fairy tales (Kissing the Witch: Old Tales in New Skins, Red as Blood, or Tales from the Sisters Grimmer, Snow White, Blood Red, The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, The Fairy Tales of Hermann Hesse, etc.) I found it sadly lacking. I would even say lame. I don't care whether your retellings are dark, light or total fluff as long as they're well done and respect the spirit of the story. These don't. These are Beavis and Butthead do Grimm, dragging fairy tales down into juvenile sniggering bathroom jokes. The writing is technically adequate (though if you want masterful gritty slang I'd point you to The Best of Damon Runyon, he does it much better) but the head and the haunch and the hoof of these stories is "life kinda sucks, so let's just wallow in the worst of it."

Most frustrating: the opening tale, where Satan designs the world. This is an elegant, clever, biting, funny alternate creation tale, which I loved. Everything that followed fell terribly, terribly flat. I might have dislike the rest less if the preface hadn't set the bar for my expectations very high.

[Smiley III · Rating 5 out of 5]

I kept having to put the book down and "collect myself," it's so funny!

Don't get me started 'bout this one!

Jim Knipfel is a brilliant, wryly-observant writer, and, while the "wry" part of that last often tends to outweigh the "observant" in all-too-often a case, Knipfel manages to pack in paragraph after paragraph of evolving, expanding, wider-range extrapolation in each of these semi-humorous, semi-tragic "fairy tales."

(Well, alright ... only the chicken story is really & truly "tragic," but ... it made me sad!)

You'll have "trouble" getting through this if you read this aloud to people (start with the "Preface," a "Creation Myth," featuring Satan -- or, um, "Satan" -- as the Head Guy, and see how far you get before everyone "loses it"!).

I have no idea why this book didn't make a bigger "splash" when it came out in 2010 [I just happened across it, sitting on the shelf here at Powell's, last Fall], other than the usual "getting on the radar" problems which you probably don't need me to tell you about.

Just as well ... if YOU pick it up, I guar-ron-TEE it'll make a really, really big "dent" in YOUR life, and you'll wonder how you ever got along with out it, why no-one ever thought of this before, and why all these tons & tons o' folks around you don't know about it

Ah well ... such is the satisfaction of "knowing better"!

CAVEAT [albeit, in this case, of the "opposite" kind than usual]: You may want to "test drive" the thing before you read it in public (like a coffee shop, say). You start cracking up, people might look at you with a "Wha?" look on their faces, and you'll just have to be like "Sorry, sorry, I'm just ..." (hold forehead with hands) " ... it's just ... " (coming closer, but then cracking up again) " ... ahh ..."

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think my expectations may have been a little too high for Knipfel's book after reading the over-the-top superaltives lavished on it by Entertainment Weekly for the past month. The book IS a fun, clever grotesquerie of adult fairy tales, but ultimately I felt like I was reading too much of the same from story to story. I know fairy tales are SUPPOSED to have a very prescribed formula, but since the author was parodying this type of storytelling, I guess I was hoping for the "form" to be toyed with just as much as the "content." Not so. I do think Knipfel is an astute, funny author, but "These Children" left me somewhat unfulfilled.

I will say that the story "The Boy Who Came To His Senses" was the highlight of the book for me. Perfect build, perfect storytelling, and a perfect punchline.

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a terrible book! Pithy stories, dull writing, a remarkably trite ending, it was just terrible. The shocking ending was lame, would only have been worse if it was revealed to be a dream sequence. Skip this and read Neil Gaiman stories instead, you will thank me.

[Meghan (TheBookGoblin) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve had this book for like a decade but never actually read through all the stories. I think I bought it when I was in university doing a course on short stories.
I’m any case I’m glad I never used it for any assignments because the stories are nothing special. The writing is mediocre, the characters are about a cm deep, and the plots are mostly just gross and depressing. If you like weird stories that go nowhere maybe you’d enjoy it.
Best thing about it is the cool cover.

[Karen Germain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Jim Knipfel’s short story compilation, “These Children Who Come at You with Knives and Other Fairy Tales.” The stories are absolutely hilarious. This is not a compilation for the easily offended or easily grossed out.

I think reading this book was made an even better experience, because the book was picked out and given to me by my boyfriend’s nine year old daughter. This book is so inappropriate for children! I also love that a kid gave me a book with this title…like it serves as a warning or something! Kids with a sense of humor..fantastic!

The book has a really, really good surprise at the end. Most of the stories can be read out of order, but DO NOT, read ahead to the final story. You will ruin the good twist for yourself. It totally caught me off guard and had me laughing. Don’t spoil it for yourself!!!!

I really loved the whole book, but my favorite stories were “The Gnome Who Would Be King”, Maggot in a Sombrero” and “Stench, The Crappy Snowman.” The preface was also fantastic. I would love to have a drink with Satan, he seems like a fun guy!

I also loved that in the “The Boy Who Came to His Senses” the two characters are on a first date ( or rather just met at a bowling alley and headed to her house to fuck) and one of their conversation topics is favorite theme park restaurants!!!! It’s like this book was written specifically for me to read!

I noticed a common theme of characters that are so micro in their worlds that they can’t see outside of themselves to the bigger picture. This flaw usually proves fatal. Knipfel also likes to write about talking animals. Knipfel is a great new literary discovery and I can’t wait to read more of his books.

[Laura Belgrave · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like bizarre, twisted and kind of dark, this is the book for you. Knipfel's collection of short stories, described by the title and many critics as "fairy tales," is about as weird as they come — and therein lies their appeal.

One annoyance? I don't think a single story has an actual ending other than, "Oh, damn, I have to end the story now, so basically I'll just kind of cut it off right here with something abrupt." Boom. End of story. Translation: You won't learn a damned thing from any of the stories, but that's not the point. You will be entertained, occasionally revolted or jolted or chuckling, and certainly left with an image of a writer in his underwear, slightly stoned, banging out whatever lands in his head.

Don't let any of that stop you. The stories, from a maggot who wears a sombrero to cantankerous gnomes and smart chickens, share a common theme of wonderfully and refreshingly strange. Sometimes, just every now and then, that's plenty enough to make for a good read.

[Just a Girl Fighting Censorship · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book took me forever and a day to finish. In theory it seemed like a book that would instantly become a favorite, irreverent modern fairy tales? Perfect, sign me up! No, not so much. I kind of got the feeling that the author was just trying to be as gross as possible. Detailing body excrement just for the hell of it does not impress me, it doesn't even really shock me, it just annoys me.

The vast majority of these stories were pretty forgettable. I think the best stories were the ones that had hints of horror but even these went on too long and usually left me thinking...so what? The title story is at the end and it was perhaps the biggest disappoint of the bunch, I'm assuming the cool title came first and the weak story was built around it.

I recommend this to Chuck Palahniuk fans who are looking to slum it.

Part of my 2015 Special 50 Book challenge- A Book you started but never finished

[Mark Schuliger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book. "Twisted tales" sounded right up my alley. I must admit the writing is excellent, keeping you reading along with each story. However, I was not a big fan on the conclusions. They just didn't wow me. I was completely engrossed in the story and then they tended to end with a wimper (in my opinion).

Still gets three stars for the writing. I guess I just want more bang for my buck. I enjoyed Stephen King's "Nightshift" much more.

[J.C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

The theme of these adult fairy tales is basically, never trust anybody. Never trust a guy named Chuck who promises to help you with your hippie infestation problem. Never trust a princess who has a set of tasks for you to complete before you can marry her, no matter how good her bowling game is. Never trust a talking plant. Never trust a talking monkey named Misery who lives in the rain cloud that follows you everywhere. Never trust a talking garden Gnome. If you're a talking chicken, never trust a human. I probably would have liked it more but there was a story with cockroaches and a story with a disgusting snowman that really put some vile images in my brain. Jim has a great and random imagination, but sometimes he makes it uncomfortable.

[Ridanwise]

No.

[Mjhancock · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's very rare that I don't actually finish a book, but I think this is going to be one of those times. TCWCYKOFT is a collection of short stories, or fairy tales, as their author calls them--updated fairy tales, like the Boy Who Was Turned into a Cockroach, or the Woman Who Was Best Friends with a Maggot. Some are entertaining, like the prologue that retells the creation myth with Satan in the leading role, but most follow a depressing, overly melodramatic, miserable, and above all repetitive pattern: something horrible happens to someone who didn't really deserve it. And that's fine, but after a half dozen of such stories, you really wish the author would pull a different trick out of his bag. The opposite of an overly saccharine fairytale male be something more sour, but that doesn't make the latter any more readable. I took this book out based on the attraction of the title, and the author definitely has a way with words, but this was such a drag to read I don't know if I'll bother taking out anything else by him.

[Kim Hollis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'd seen a lot of good buzz for These Children Who Come at You With Knives, and I was fairly disappointed with it. Although all of the stories are easy, quick reads, there's a mean-spiritedness to them that I found difficult to overcome. I love fairy tales, and was hoping this modern, updated take would prove to be fun. I realize that often times in classic stories, the ending isn't always pleasant or nice. But these new stories seem to delight in doing evil to their characters, especially if they're human.

I did like Schotzie, but that's really just because I was enjoying picturing the main character (a sock monkey).

[April Cole Ledebur · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you love twisted takes on fairy tales then this is the book for you. It contains 14 short stories all of which are very much adult content. Most of the stories were enjoyable and quick reads, but I felt most of them ended rather suddenly.
I decided to read this book after reading the wonderful review in Entertainment Weekly. Over all I thought the book was good but just not as great as the review made it out to be.

[Dale Philbrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't finish this book (and I hate it when that happens!). I didn't find the series of short stories compelling enough to continue reading even though I did enjoy certain lines of the stories (a few lines made me actually laugh out loud... too bad the consistency wasn't there to keep me interested).

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny and scathingly dark and cynical "fables" for adults. If you believe the worst, that there is such a thing as being too smart, too dumb, too adventurous, or too conservative, you will find that viewpoint reinforced here. Funny and mean stories for the misanthropes in all of us.

[Carolina · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title was irresistible; when I saw it on my local library's shelf I plucked it right up. The stories are repellent. The preface features a witty, subversive take on the Old Testament creation story, and promises a dark-and-delightful series of short stories. After that...just ugh.

The book description published here on GoodReads describes the author as "droll." I think the writer of the entry must have been confused--misanthropic, mean-spirited, and cynical would have been more apt.

The stories center on protagonists who are unlikeable, hapless, pitiable, or some combination of all three. Most of them meet grim fates that they don't truly deserve, despite their flaws or mistakes. It's meant to be funny, but in most cases it just seems cruel.

Add to that the fact that the prose is not particularly inspired or clever, and this would-be dark comedy just leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Wish I had stopped after the first story.

[Marie-Josee Lavallee · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF
Maybe it just wasn't the book for me at this time. When I had picked it up from a book sale years ago it had peaked my interest but reading the first couple stories left me very meh.
The stories I did read were funny, but it felt a bit like a pretentious friend taking the long way around to tell you a very easy to see coming joke.
As other reviewers have said about this book, I probably would of loved it when I was a bit younger, although I still enjoy YA, this just didn't do it for me.

[Mary Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you enjoy twisted, scatological, warped humor, this is the book for you. Personally, I'm a fan of anyone who reworks the fairy tale genre. The Fractured Fairy Tales features on Rocky and Bullwinkle were my childhood bread and butter. I mean, what's not to love about a maggot in a red sombrero, a smart chicken with no common sense, or a gnome who would be king? By the way, I'm pretty sure I've seen the gnome in action. His name is Donal Trump.

[Britt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super interesting read!! I loved the very first story, and the very last especially. Sometimes I was left cringing at the endings, but I loved being challenged to read sometimes-uncomfortable stories and give in to a world that might not make much sense, yet has these great social satire undertones. Very entertaining.

[Shannon · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this book thinking the stories were going to be humorous retellings of fairytales and I guess to some people they may be humorous but not to me. They were rather disgusting and foulmouthed and didn't have the essence of delight that I see in many other retellings.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absurd is an understatement but that's generally what I like. The short shorties in this book though appear to be a bit more one note. I did like how the last tale ties back into another story but that's about it. Often I felt this would be better as a film than a book.

[Robin M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ever seen a book try so hard to be edgy by bludgeoning you with the status quo? I imagine this is "like, dude, my jokes are so not PC" the book edition.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

An odd but entertaining collection of short stories that don't just twist but completely mangle traditional fairy tale tropes.

[Steff Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

| Reader Fox Blog |


I picked up this book out of a mere curiosity from a Marden’s in Maine. You’ll find quite a number of interesting books in Marden’s, though it is unfortunately rare to find incredibly impressive ones. Still, they are cheap and on a college student’s budget, a decent investment.

I fell in love with this book from the first story. There was an odd darkness to it, mixed with an air of what felt to me like something remnant of Greek Mythology. To a point, it was fascinating and strange, prompting me to delve even further with high hopes. The stories that followed the first were, for lack of a better term, less.

A bunch of crazy, weird stories followed the first rather impressive one. They didn’t always make sense and they weren’t always interesting. It wasn’t quite Wonderland-esque, but I certainly felt some themes. At times I felt like I was reading an excessively dark fairy tale that just hadn’t quite made the cut.

This book did have one very important and impressive thing going for it, and that presented itself in a form of continuity that I was not expecting. From the cover, you expect a smattering of fairy tales, each of which in any typical fairy tale book would have nothing to do with the ones preceding or following it. This book was different.

While not every story in this book was to my taste, I will certainly hold it on a shelf of high respect as it was incredibly fascinating and surprisingly well written. It was definitely weird, but I did love it absolutely.

| Reader Fox Links |

[Julie Towe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was optimistic when I bought this book. I thought it would be a compilation of dark fairy tales, and in a way, it is. The darkness of the stories is not the problem. The way they all end in disappointment for both the characters and the reader is not the problem. Disappointment seems to be the intended theme here, "This book will disappoint you because it reflects reality, that life is disappointing. Get over it... or don't." All of these elements can have value, even if I don't particularly care for them.

However, I found the perpetual condescension unacceptable. Some remarks came from characters, but most came from the narrator. The story of the gnome had strong racist undertones. Other characters were described in condescending ways because of their weight, gender, or disabilities. The word retard and fatty was used prominently. To any reader with a history of being bullied in real life, these stores will cut just like real children coming at them with knives.

And maybe some people would find that exhilarating to read, the abandonment of political correctness, the erasing of lines which should not be crossed. To some this book may seem like a brave thing to create. But the truth is, there is nothing brave or new about calling someone fat, or comparing Blacks to gnomes, or making fun of the mentally disabled. It's just not what well-written books do.