How to Raise Your Adult Children: Because Big Kids Have Even Bigger Problems

by Gail Parent, Susan Ende

A funny and practical guide to parenting "grown" children.

Today's "kids" are taking longer to move out, tend to marry later, and are baffling their parents with issues far beyond the expertise of Spock or Ferber.

In this irreverent yet essential guide, a bestselling writer and a psychotherapist- both of whom have adult children-team up to provide witty and insightful advice for the millions who need help handling a range of perilous and very adult situations, including

? how to get a couch potato out of the house
? when to not pay for a child's wedding
? what to say about your kids' own parenting methods
? and much, much more

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Childrens

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 22, 2010

Reviews

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

almost entirely anecdotal. not interesting or compelling at all.

[Tony Wohlfarth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked up this book in order to gain insights into the behaviour of my grown children. What a waste of time. The authors contradict themselves in the first chapter. Should you offer your kids $$$? Amazaningly, both pro and con views are put forward! I then turned to the index for a guide of concern to me. There isn't one. The organization of the book is around a series of letters to the authors and their replies i.e. no subject matter guide to topics like kids living with their parents, LGBTQ+ issues, etc. Why? I looked at the authors. One of them is a talk show host. The other (who is not mentioned in the Amazon write-up is a therapy psychologust! My conclusion? Don't waste your $$$ on this one. You won't be disappointed like me.

[Carryl Lee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Tries to be funny, tries to be helpful. Succeeds at neither. These authors asked their friends and acquaintances to come up with problems for them to solve regarding their adult kids. Most of their friends seem to be wealthy and much of it has to do with their money (should they give more inheritance to the struggling son than the multi-millionaire?). The authors seem to crack themselves up often. I found it cringe-worthy. It's two women from a very specific demographic (white, upper middle class, married, probably in their 60's) giving flippant advice back and forth, early morning TV style.

[Carolyn Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm the sort that can get drawn into advice columns and before I know it, hours have passed. This book is one big advice column. Dilemmas are posed, and advice is given. Some of it is funny, some serious, some make me think of the occasional letters Dear Abby readers would call out as fake. Basically parents, just keep your mouths shut and don't interfere in your adult kids' lives, unless they or your grandchildren are truly endangered. Let them make their own mistakes and respect their decisions, especially those you don't agree with. It was fun to read and made me feel like I'm doing a better job "raising" my kids as young adults than I did when they were teenagers. Maybe that has something to do with the teenage part?

[Beatriz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book answers letters from parents with adult children with diverse personalities and problems.
I liked the solutions from both authors, sometimes different from one another.

While I did not agree with some answers, most did resonate, and others were helpful. You will like this book and find it helpful, depending on the kind of adult (child) you have and the kind of adult (parent) you are.

I picked this book for a reason(the title), and I got answers and insights out of it.
So 5 stars.

[Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

Covers a lot of the problems our children may have but always with the end of recreating responsible, independent people who can make and clean up their own messes.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun advice on how to understand the way parental relationships change as children age. However, despite being written in 2010 it felt dated.

[Eileen Neeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio. Good. More useful when you have younger children, to prepare for being an adult

[ReNel · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was like reading a Dear Abby column. Much of it is just common sense and there were some good insights. I like the balance between Gail and Susan.

[Paul Daniela Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nu a fost foarte convingătoare cartea

[Christine Carroll · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a humorous approach to resolving problems. I loved the fact that they did not always agree in their responses. I would highly recommend this book.

[Rachel Blackmer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish.

[Jyw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and practical! Fantastic 5 stars!!! One author was a writer on “The Golden Girls” (humor) but other author has the educational experience and background (practical therapy).

[Angela Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sound advice but not what I was looking for

I thought this book was okay. It was interesting to see Gail and Susan's advice for parent's questions. However, I was looking for something that addressed more serious issues, in detail, such as dealing with adult children who have addiction and mental health issues; how do you navigate those when they live with you or when grandchildren are involved, etc.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you remember "Dear Abby"? Imagine ONE question, with two separate people answering and giving advise. Gail is more of a liberal feminist (and loves to comment on everything), while Susan is a kind hearted logical social worker (not sure if that's true, but it's my opinion). So these two woman answer the questions starting from.....what do I do when my kid gets married, how do I handle my daughter-in-law who dressed like a Hooker, why can't I control my 45 year old son, all the way to questions like..............do I tell my 2 and 4 year old grandson's that grandma is a lesbian and wants to get married to her new partner?
Some of the questions asked cracked me up, but even better, were the answers that these two friends give. Kneaded into this book are very important questions all father's and mother's NEED to know, steps on how to shut your mouth and let you kid "be on their own journey",ways to make them grow into the independent people you REALLY want them to be, and financial advise that every parent should stand by (lesbian or not). KUDOS to this hysterical logical, and informative book, and shame on anyone who DOESN'T read it!

[Kathleen Connolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is light reading and I'd call it entertaining if it weren't focused on this particular topic. Big kids do have the potential for bigger problems, as the title suggests. The authors read letters and respond. They do not necessarily agree on everything, but one thing is clear: If you're going to ask for childrearing advice, be sure you take the time to look in the mirror and ask the person in the reflection.

[SueDella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Always searching for a good parenting book. Thisbookwasfunnybutdidnotcoversome of the hard topics I was searching advice for. Fun read to help us remember to let our children grow up and make their own mistakes. It helped me remember to help my kids learn how to solve their problems, not just give them advice.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just about any scenario you can think of is in this book. Two authors who do not always agree in their advice (although usually they are pretty close) and I feel much more confident about the decisions I need to make knowing that in the long run, it will help our kids be more independent and less dependent on us.

[Rosemary Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

brings up many issues. Answers are your children are adults and you have to accept their behavior whether you like it or not. That is good advice for most people with adult children especially me.

[Lois · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book, both humorous and insightful.

[Rachel Sharf · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting subject. Here and there they have somE interesting suggestions.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

so far i love this book, easy,fun read. having two sons in college it is the perfect book for me to read, and i highly recommend it. not done yet, but will be soon.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

They confirm what we already know with humor and firmness...we can't solve things for our adult children!

[Madeline · Rating 3 out of 5]

had some interesting points. sometimes i found them more supportive than i am, sometimes less. easy to skim through the chapters less relevant to me right now.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

meh

[Yvonne]

This addressed a lot of topics that families run into with humor and good advice. I especially liked the advice on family holidays and money.

[Ilib4kids]

306.874 PAR
CD 306.874 PAR

Chap 1 Money
Financially independent

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a train wreck at times. Not the writing, but the stories. Good for lovers of advice columns.