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512 pages, Paperback
First published May 31, 2001
I read this book as part of Pride Month but ended up finishing it just after, which of course, doesn't really matter – your TBR should be diverse regardless of the time of year. The book simply doesn't lend itself to reading fast. Not because it's boring, but because of its complex subject matter and the fact that the writing must be savoured.
It's 1983 and William Parker, a shy young man from the mid-West moves to Manhattan's East Village, in search of a childhood friend, Charlie 2Moons, someone he'd like to apologise to, although the reader only learns later what for. Will leaves behind a dark past, a time at once nightmarish and moving, with secrets that are revealed slowly throughout the book.
Despite his insecurities, Will quickly makes a motley crew of friends – from drag queens to artists – and finds acceptance, even falling in love.
But it's a time of great upheaval in the city. AIDS has begun ravaging the Queer community, including many of Will's friends. There are riots (the book covers the infamous Tompkins Square Park riot in 1988 – a place Will's friends call Dog Shit Park). Drugs (and poverty) are rife. And yet, there is always the promise of something more... As Will's (more than) friend and neighbour, Rose says:
Darkness is not something out there that we must make rules against... Darkness is not something we must reject from our lives. Darkness is part of us.
As Will learns this, his courage grows and so does his self-acceptance until he does something brave and beautiful.
I find it really difficult to review this book. It's brilliant and bewitching and breathtaking. It's also difficult and upsetting. The early days of the AIDS crisis are heartbreaking. The disregard for Othered lives is disconcerting. And then there is the abuse that also happens.
It's not an easy read, and please pay attention to the trigger warnings I'll give below, but it's such an important story. Tom Spanbauer does not just bring life to a turbulent time in American history, but he brings the most incredible humanity to all of his characters. This is a book that will linger with me for a long, long time.
Trigger warnings: rape, sexual abuse, drug use, suicide