Raising Hell, Living Well: Freedom from Influence in a World Where Everyone Wants Something from You

by Jessica Elefante

Part cultural criticism, part rueful confessional, a reformed brand strategist brings to light the impact of influence on us and our society and offers an escape in this ironically persuasive case for not being so easily influenced anymore.
 
“Jessica Elefante practices what she preaches by rising above complaints to confront modern, twisted problems right in the face.”—Jaron Lanier, bestselling author of Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now

We live in a world that is under the influence. 

Our lives are being choreographed by forces that want something from us. Everything from ingrained family values to mind-altering algorithms create our foundations, warp how we see the world, manipulate our decisions, and dictate our beliefs. Yet rarely do we question these everyday influences of our modern times even as we go further down the path of unwell, unhappy, and unhinged . 

A high-spirited exploration through the troublesome influences of our world, Raising Hell, Living Well , Jessica Elefante’s eye-opening debut, follows one bullshit artist’s journey, from small-time salesperson to award-winning corporate strategist to founder of the digital wellbeing movement Folk Rebellion, in coming to terms with how she was wielding influence—and the forces she was under herself.  

With whip-smart writing and wry humor, Elefante’s collection of essays is a head-trip through her misadventures. From explaining productivity as a symptom of the influence of capitalism to how the wellness industry makes us feel more unwell or our unquestioning participation in oversharing, optimization, and instant gratification, she invites us to reexamine our world, our pasts, and ourselves through the lens of influence. Now a reformed brand strategist, Elefante lays bare her own culpability, sharing what she learned—and what she got wrong. She offers a new take on intentional living and provides a simple practice to deconstruct how the powers-that-be are attempting to modify our behaviors. Before you know it, you’ll be questioning everything from how you take your coffee to how our social institutions are structured. And you’ll learn how to live free from the influences around us—including Elefante herself. 

The much-needed subversive voice to demystify these times, Elefante will make you angry, make you laugh, and make you think about how you’re really living. Unpretentious, sharply observed, and devil-hearted, Raising Hell, Living Well holds out a hand to help you climb out from under the influence.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Psychology, Parenting, Memoir, Contemporary

384 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 10, 2023

About the author

Jessica Elefante is a writer and bullshit artist who has spent the last few decades examining what it means to be human in our modern world.

She is the author of Raising Hell, Living Well: Freedom From Influence in a World Where Everyone Wants Something From You (including me) out 10/10/23 from Penguin Random House. Her essays have appeared in The Guardian, The Huffington Post, and more. As the founder of acclaimed Folk Rebellion and a critic of today’s culture, Elefante’s award-winning talks, films, and work have been featured by Vogue, the Los Angeles Times, The Observer, Paper magazine, Wired, and elsewhere. In her previous life as a brand strategist, she was recognized as one of Brand Innovators’ 40 Under 40 and has been a guest lecturer at Columbia Business School and New York University. She’s influenced by the social, cultural, and technological circumstances of her life but mostly by her desire to lead a colorful one. Raised in Upstate New York, she now lives in Brooklyn with her family. She is no longer bullshitting.

You can follow Jessica on Insta: @folkrebellion FB: @jessicaelefantewriter TikTok: @jessica_elefante_writes and sign up for her Substack:Modern Bullshit

Reviews

[Giovanni García-Fenech · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the audience for this memoir-cum-self-help book is meant to be younger than me, a middle-aged Gen Xer. It might have been helpful to read it when I was making the many, many dumb decisions I made growing up, and I would recommend it to people in their teens and twenties who can sense that the pursuit of happiness is not necessarily what they have been made to understand it is.

If you're interested in more detached takes on these topics, I would recommend F. S. Michaels' Monoculture: How One Story is Changing Everything, which uncovers how the system molds how we see ourselves and the world around us; Alain De Botton's Status Anxiety, which dissects the societal pressures of success; and Heath and Potter's Nation of Rebels: Why Counterculture Became Consumer Culture and Thomas Frank's The Conquest of Cool: Business Culture, Counterculture, and the Rise of Hip Consumerism, which in different ways reveal the hidden capitalist forces behind the idea of "cool."

[Azora · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unreadable :/ I’m not sure how this authors mid life crisis got published

[Melissa Stacy · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF at 10%

First published on October 10, 2023, "Raising Hell, Living Well: Freedom from Influence in a World Where Everyone Wants Something from You," by Jessica Elefante, is a millennial memoir flavored with some well-known Twitterverse self-help.

I am definitely not the audience for this.

I found the prose and the content insipid and slow, and downright obtuse in a number of places.

I read the first ten percent, then skimmed to 16%, amazed that the prose and the content seemed to slow down even more, and grow more juvenile and asinine the further I read.

I bought "Raising Hell, Living Well" as an ebook, so it's aggravating to me to have wasted my money. This memoir falls into my "hell the f*ck no" category of DNF.

But I'm giving it three stars, because I'm sure there's an audience for this book, it just isn't me.

Not sure who I would recommend this book to. It's a hard pass for me.

[Cassandra Hungerford · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favorite. The first couple chapters are ok and then it gets quite boring. It seems as though the author talks down to you as though you couldn’t possibly see the same things that she sees in the marketing world. No, we are aware people are selling to us at every turn.

[Juniper "burntends on storygraph" · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started out really strong and lost me around 3/4 in. I would have liked more expansion on the "how" of people try to influence me to buy things or steal my attention, what to look for to avoid these types of things, and how to rebuff people that try to push my boundaries. The parent parts were not relevant to me (but I'm sure someone somewhere with impressionable kids finds that part helpful - my dogs aren't easily influenced unless food is involved). The audiobook became tiresome with the repetition towards the end. Good try but not as robust as I would have liked. Maybe that was by design so all of the tricks aren't figured out by wiley anarchists like me.

Frodo meme: "All right then, keep your secrets."

[Paulina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few good points. Lots of skimming overall. All the useful info could have been condensed into 2-3 chapters.

[Amisha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like other readers, I was influenced to read this because the author was featured in a couple of Substacks I enjoy. Unfortunately, the interviews were much better than the book. I should have known from the cringey David Brooks quote up front that this was not going to be great, but I figured a rec from someone whose book was fantastic couldn’t be that far astray so I slogged through. So poorly written and cliched, and the “folk rebellion” advice at the end of each chapter… who was that for? It felt like a couple of IG posts that were stretched into a book. Unfortunate.

[Katie Rasmussen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am still processing why I really didn't like this book. It wasn't that I disagreed with the points in this one, but maybe how it was presented?? Like influence was and is being used to promote this book and it felt like there were lots of contradictions. 🤷‍♀️

[Olivia Simpson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really pushed me to think critically about the influences in my life. I appreciated how Jessica used her own story to give the reader insight into the mind of someone very good at influencing and manipulating for profit. This was a great read and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.
While her thoughts around the world not being black and white but settling somewhere more in the grey is, to me, not not true, that argument often empowers the wrong people and is used as a distraction from oppression.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would like to officially recognize a genre of writing called, "Author wrote this in a desperate attempt to not have to work an office job ever again." I respect the hustle. I work in a field similar to the one the author left and I enjoy hearing about people who no longer have to work in it, which is why I picked up this book.

While this review is not going to be kind, I am writing it for two reasons: to demonstrate that this book might have had some potential; and to discuss how the positioning of the book squandered that potential. I imagine that the best way to market this book to the author's existing audience was to brand it as a self-help book. However, doing so resulted in less focus on the more interesting parts of the book, the author's life story, and over-relied on social commentary, which is not her strong suit.

Unfortunately, not a single take in this book is one I had not heard before. The thesis of the book is, "Did you know that you don't actually have to listen to what society tells you?" It worries me a bit that the author didn't realize this until she was nearly 40. Other takes include, "TV bad," "Phone bad... but also good?" "Children used to go outside without supervision a lot, but now they don't," and some Twitter-thread level analysis of late stage capitalism.

Life has nuance. By writing a book all about how negative influence is a bad thing we should avoid, the author is unable to present her own life in anything other than black and white. Because the author's best-written and most compelling sections of the book are about times that she successfully manipulated people, the thin patina of self-help slapped over the top of it makes it feels as though the author is contradicting herself. Had the author written in more of a personal memoir style, and done more showing and not telling (as the adage goes), this review would have had at least one more star.

The author says to avoid people who are trying to trick you, but then unapologetically brags about lying her way into her first marketing job. The section where she boasts about all the transactional relationships she's had in life is fairly extensive compared to a few vague pararaphs about how she doesn't live like that anymore. (I would like to know how she got the book deal, though.) The part where she describes bribing people as a sales representative would have been much better suited for a "how to succeed in sales" style book than the one it currently appears in. Overall, this book would have been much more interesting and fun to read if the author had gone more in depth on the less-than-savory topics, especially since she's clearly still proud of her ability to manipulate people. She also completely glosses over the details of her divorce, diagnosis with ADHD, and other life events that would have filled out the book.

The hardline self-help angle does not make the author's social commentary or recommendations for her readers any clearer, either. At one point, she talks about the difficulty in detangling where one's ideas and influences come from. Are they intrinsic, or are society's trends showing up in ways you don't even recognize? Instead of sitting with the impossibility of knowing the answer to that question, the author says that one can somehow just figure out where one's impulses and desires truly come from without saying how one might go about actually doing that.

The author also has some clear blind spots that are made more obvious by her overt dedication to trying to help the reader. For example, she says she won't watch reality TV because it's mindless, but hints at the fact that she consumes a lot of true crime content. Again, if she had been writing a more human memoir, she could have examined that inconsistency in depth rather than glossing over it. Similarly, she does thankfully recognize the deep irony in the fact that she created a social media and t-shirt brand centered around the idea of not going on social media as much, but she could have embraced the topic much more fully. In fact, that irony could have been the centerpiece of this book. But alas, it is not. Instead we get takes like "both left and right bad" and "cancel culture is scawwy."

Speaking of hypocrisy, since it's 2am, I am going to abandon all nuance and list some notable quotes and other things about this book that are worth mentioning below without trying to shove them into an essay all of 3 people might ever read. Sorry!

- The author claims that she likes to question things but seems to wholeheartedly believe in personality tests.
- I knew this book was doomed from the beginning, when the author has the "I can't live like this anymore" realization while on a two-week vacation in Hawaii.
- After redefining the words "folklore" and "folktale" for no reason, immediately afterwards, she unironically uses the word "weensy."
- The author takes a trip to Italy, where they apparently don't have any marketing, capitalism, or technology aside from buses. Just spaghetti. Like, she unironically rehashes the "life is better in Europe... and slower" trope the year of our Lord 2023. Then she has to go back to New York City and has to see an advertisement! Shock! Horror!
- She keeps insisting that she is super weird and a rebel, but it's giving more "not like other girls" and "I'm so quirky, I love pizza AND tacos."
- Quote: "That was the moment it all changed for me, though it was death by a thousand cuts. This is a common term used to describe the way a major negative change happens slowly in small unnoticeable increments, making the change less objectionable, more palatable." Girl, fire your editor! They should not have let you define basic words and phrases in the final draft!
- Quote: "The concept is called the Overton window [...] While it works for political operatives trying to determine their policy making or what they can get away with, it can also be used on both a small personal scale and a very large dangerous scale. It's the day-to-day tiny slippery slope as shown in the kids' tale If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It's also the large scale slide of societal acceptance when inundated with propaganda and fear mongering, as illustrated in the 'First They Came' poetic prose written about living during the Holocaust." Note that she brought up the Overton window to describe slowly getting used to the idea of working an office job.
- Quote: "From here forward, I use they as a catchall." (As a stand-in for all the institutions, companies, etc. trying to get our attention.) Um, please do not?
- Quote: "Are we all suffering from Munchausen by capitalism?"
- She does a LOT of "both sides bad" and "far left is as bad as far right" political commentary (yikes). Quote: "Political leanings weren't so far apart [before Facebook]." I mean, other than the actual Communist Party we had in the 1920s...
- Quote: "Russia, China, and George Orwell's 1984 aren't the only ones to use propaganda." You don't say!
- At one point, she basically admits that she has pretty privilege by saying that both of her parents are attractive and charismatic too. But doesn't examine that any further, really.
- She says she can recognize patterns and can just sense things, like when she knew disco would trend again before "Beyonce dropped a futuristic disco album." Like, yeah, the disco revival has been going on since 2012. Where have you been?
- One of the unintentionally funniest parts of the book is when the author's five year old son is talking about advertisements while out at lunch, and one of the author's friends says they do advertisements for Facebook, thinking the son would find it cool. Instead, the author's son reacts by asking why she would do something like that. So clearly the author spent a lot of time shit talking marketing and advertising to her son, but then goes and hangs out with people who still work in it, without anticipating the consequences.
- Honestly, if you write things that amount to, "TV and the internet is messing with our children's dopamine and ruining their attention span," you should not be allowed to say you have ADHD.
- She spends a whole chapter defending Aziz Ansari for some reason?
- Inexact quote: "During the pandemic, we all had to slow down." This is one of the most grating cliches in current writing. No, not everyone got to slow down "during the pandemic."
- Quote: "Currently we're living in a world of extremes, especially online. Of course it's easier to judge one another from the safety of our own homes, hidden behind screens instead of face-to-face. The arena is now a battleground, and similar to the spectacles in early medieval times, it's a center for ruthless conflict, public humiliation, witch hunts, public executions, and performed dramas." WITCH HUNTS WERE NOT AN EARLY MEDIEVAL THING! THEY WERE A LATE MEDIEVAL/EARLY MODERN PHENOMENON! Also, it's very grating when people attribute very recent phenomena (e.g. public executions) to the Middle Ages instead of discussing them in their actual context.
- Quote, from a discussion about critiques of the US Women's soccer team in 2019: "I've been around sports my whole life [...] I have never, never, heard these statements before. [...] Not in football when the preplanned and practiced end zone dances that happen at every play are vulgar and over-the-top." What? First of all, "excessive celebration" is an actual penalty in the NFL, so someone has critiqued it before. Second of all, end zone dances don't happen at "every play" unless you've got a really good offense. Third of all, that's what you critique, out of all the things that have happened in the NFL?
- She compares the 2020 George Floyd protests to Woodstock '99.
- She talks a lot about being a feminist, but mentions considering writing a role model essay about Charles Bukowski...? Then she claims she got a bad grade because she chose to write about Dr. Seuss, which I straight up do not believe is the reason she didn't get a good grade.
- Quote: "Many people don't realize [Dr. Seuss] was advocating for social change through parables about the environment in The Lorax."
- She mentions seatbelts and Ralph Nader more than any other topic in this book.
- I bet with all her talk of questioning things, she hasn't worn a mask since 2021, even though COVID is still here and spreading.
- The final chapters include instructions on how to think critically, basically, which she attempts to apply to NYC Public Schools' declaration that instead of traditional snow days, they will do virtual learning days. She spends about four pages attributing the root cause to Big Weather trying to scare people for views or something, completely neglecting to examine the fact that she's reacting so intensely to the news due to her own childhood nostalgia about growing up in upstate New York. A fitting end to this book, I think.

[Kendall]

I was influenced into reading this stupid book by authors I like on Substack. I think I blame Anne Helen Petersen. But I can’t read more than 10%. When is she going to “pull back the curtain”? She thinks she’s smarter than everyone but I think it’s the opposite.

[Markie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Raising Hell, Living Well: Freedom from Influence in a World Where Everyone Wants Something from You (including me)" by Jessica Elefante is a thought-provoking and introspective exploration of the pervasive influence that shapes our lives in the modern world. With a mix of cultural critique and personal reflection, Elefante challenges readers to break free from the powerful forces that dictate our beliefs, decisions, and behaviors.

In this eye-opening debut, Elefante, a former brand strategist turned advocate for digital well-being, takes readers on a captivating journey through her own transformation from a small-time salesperson to a conscious critic of societal influences. With wit and humor, she delves into the ways in which various factors, from family values to technological algorithms, subtly shape our lives and impact our well-being. She courageously confronts her own past roles in perpetuating these influences and offers a refreshing perspective on intentional living.

Through a collection of insightful essays, Elefante tackles a range of topics, including the insidious effects of capitalism on productivity, the paradoxes of the wellness industry, and our complicity in oversharing and instant gratification. Her writing challenges readers to reevaluate their worldviews, question established norms, and navigate a path toward greater self-awareness.

Elefante's voice is candid and unapologetic, inviting readers to examine their own roles in perpetuating societal influences. She presents a simple practice to help readers deconstruct these influences and empowers them to reclaim agency over their lives. By sharing her own journey, mistakes, and realizations, Elefante fosters a relatable and engaging narrative that encourages readers to question the status quo and find liberation from the constant pressures around them.

"Raising Hell, Living Well" is a refreshing and much-needed voice in an era of overwhelming external influences. Elefante's ability to blend incisive commentary with personal anecdotes makes for a compelling read that prompts readers to challenge assumptions, spark introspection, and ultimately seek a more authentic and independent way of living. This book is not only a call to action but also an insightful guide for anyone seeking to break free from the shackles of societal influence and embrace a path toward genuine self-discovery and well-being.

[Erika · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Oof I don’t know what I was expecting going into this book but it wasn’t this.

[Caitlin DuBois · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising Hell, Living Well is an unputdownable tour-de-force that resonates deeply with anyone who's ever felt the pressures and manipulations of modern influences.

Jessica Elefante masterfully stitches together poignant stories, sharp wit, and astute observations, crafting an illuminating narrative on the myriad of forces that shape our lives.

As a former salesperson, I found Elefante's revelations about her journey from a "bullshit artist" to a beacon of digital well-being profoundly relatable and eye-opening. Her essays deftly unravel the threads of society's pervasive influences, from the wellness industry's paradoxical effects to the hidden hand of capitalism in our daily routines.

Yet, what truly stood out to me was Elefante's candid discussion on parenting—her insights serve as invaluable gems for mothers, stepmothers, and frankly, anyone involved in the intricate dance of raising children in an era rife with external pressures. As a mom and stepmom of boys with a significant age gap, I found solace, guidance, and unexpected lessons in her words.

Jessica Elefante's debut is not just a book; it's a movement—a call to action to critically examine our world and discover the autonomy that lies beneath the surface. It has not only shifted my perspective in ways I never anticipated but has also become a must-recommend to friends.

I am excitedly awaiting my book club's discussion this November on a book that is bound to spark intense reflection, laughter, and perhaps even a few revelations.

In Raising Hell, Living Well, Elefante extends a helping hand, guiding us towards a life less influenced and more intentionally lived. And all I have let to say about that is, thank you!

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this through Jessica DeFino’s writing, and I will read anything she tells me to read (she is my other Tolentino!) There is not enough written yet in her niche - kind of a practical, real person application of anti-consumerism in industries geared at women.

That said, I thought the best parts of this book was its memoir-like style - the author had great stories about being in the marketing industry and was always clear about how each story tied back to her broader point. I could have left the “raising hell” tips at the end of each chapter - they felt a bit hokey.

[Shanereads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Raising Hell, Living Well is an interesting book. In this book Jessica Elefante recalls how she worked as one of the first influencers in the 90s at a sky resort and as a ballroom dancer. She then went on to found her own company that was intended to discourage the use of technology, but in actuality provided another lens for her to be a modern day influencer. Upon realizing this she sought to dissolve her company, and teach others about the risks of influencing culture.

Ultimately I thought this book was meh. I think that my parents would probably find it interesting. However, having grown up in the 90s, I found that she was not sharing any new information, and everything she relayed was what I learned about modern day influence as a kid growing up on the verge of social media. I appreciate what she was trying to convey. However, I don't think this would be a hand sell for me.

This review copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. Huge thanks to Ballantine Books for providing my review copy.

[Jillian]

this is probably of interest to some people, but as someone who works adjacent to marketing themselves (ew) there was nothing new here for me. additionally her section on politics was very confusing to me - while politics and marketing have a lot in common she doesn't really do much with that in the quarter of the book i read. maybe she does later but a lot of marketing and american politicking are the same and there's a lot of stuff someone could say there. instead she talks about how facebook caused massive irreparable partisan differences and the likes of this gulf between the left and the right have never been seen, which just isn't true on internationally or in the us (the civil rights movement stands out as a big obvious example; a literal civil war + the assassination of lincoln; the red scare; etc), and some far left and the far right are equally bad/both sidesy shit. just don't talk about politics if you're going to say something ahistorical centrist instead of digging into how political actors/parties are playing the exact same games that companies are.

[Tawny Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a fantastic exposé-meets-essay collection on the role of influence in today's world. Elefante provides excellent research to support her thesis on the importance of finding joy in IRL again.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you enjoy David Brooks masturbatory musings on morality then this is the book for you. I was “influenced” by the back of the book - the rec by the author of 10 Arguments for Deleting Social Media today - an actually concise and informative book with insider information on how these platforms are designed in order to influence, and tangible ways to opt out. I assumed this book would be a deep dive into that idea, pulling examples from her former work as a “bullshit artist.” Instead this book was a marketedly attractive woman waxing on about how people suck, how she is a nonconformist rebel, and how she was inspired by a family member’s pull yourself up by the bootstraps mentality. Uuuh it was hard to keep track of all the contradictions. Each chapter she waxes from an abstract high place of judgment - about the good ole days when playgrounds didn’t have ground padding and when people actually used to talk face to face. It’s David Brooks + let them eat cake. It’s reads like a person who has not lived among people, just see them through sitcoms.

[Joseph Mancuso · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world and time where "everything and everyone" is a brand or has some kind of digital footprint, this book takes the time to not only detail the effects of influence on us individually and generationally, but digs deeper to show the Hows and Whys of influence.

After reading this book, I have a better understanding of the questions I can ask myself when it comes to content I consume so that I can be in control of the choices I make as it pertains to the items or services I buy, shows/films I watch, food/drink/supplements I put in my body, news/politics, etc...

One of the things I liked most are the mini sort of "prompts" at the end of each chapter. The bok maintains it's super objective by taking us on an overall journey, but by giving us these bitesized contemplations at the end of each chapter, it helped keep the big picture more tactile. These reflections were easy to understand and really made each chapter build upon the last.

Such a great book. I highly recommend!

[Anastasia Trent · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am frustratingly trying to write this review, but the app keeps crashing and I have to start over. Hopefully, I’ll get through it this time. I enjoyed reading this book and can take useful exercises from it in the future. I am a 46 year old GenX’r, and am continuously trying to limit my social media exposure and influence. I learned about this book when Jessica Elephante was a guest on the podcast “Under the Influence”. I am surprised to read other comments about this book that state it is not geared to “their”generation. I find it helpful to think about my own life and the life of my children, my spouse and friends and acquaintances. This book can be used as a tool and a helpful guide for further introspection if the reader wants it. I found it helpful. I also, like other readers, would have liked to see more examples of influence. I really appreciated the stories of Aziz Ansari and Ralph Nader. Overall, I recommend this book.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book by way of Lenore Skenazy and her Let Grow movement. The author has been in the digital influence space and this book is smartly formatted, not shockingly, to influence. I'm not one to read memoir but I had heard her on a podcast I liked and knew that her personal anecdotes were just a way in. Elefante sneakily hides research and education in between some good old fashioned storytelling. She's funny, candid, and intentional in her approachable delivery. Yes, there are moments that are obvious to me but I can only assume might not be to others. Others she's hoping to influence. And that's why it's brilliant. This book is for people who love Untamed but can't figure out why they can't get off their phones. I imagine anyone working in marketing or advertising or media might have had a negative experience reading this book if they didn't know what they were in for.For anyone raising kids today it would be a great followup to the Anxious Generation.

[C · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe it's b/c I'm a 45 year old gen-xer but I didn't relate to this one very much. I saw this book recommended in a few places and I think it's possibly written for people who grew up more online, or have a job that requires them to be "on" in a perfectly curated online way. I find it a chore to check my messages on social media, and I only follow a handful or artists and friends on Instagram (my only social media) these days, having tried and abandoned more social media apps than I can remember. The only social media I enjoy at all is Goodreads, b/c people are just sharing their thoughts on a book. I think extroverted people who like to belong to groups, follow trends, and display what they're up to may relate to this book a little better. It's why I gave this book 2 stars rather than 1, although I abandoned it, b/c I think this was a case of me not being the right audience.

[Marinna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising Hell, Living Well allows readers into the life of Jessica Elefante, from her relatable beginnings in Utica New York, to the understandable shift in adulthood that caused her to rethink everything. I especially appreciated the dissection of influence and how our modern culture is too consumed with technology. Everyone is trying to sell you something, but it’s been packaged in a way to make you think it’s harmless.

By reading other reviews it seems this book has received some mixed praise, but I really enjoyed it. Elefante provides thoughtful insights and musings from her own lived experience, which I very much appreciate. Too many books are written before life is lived and experiences are had. This book is ripe with lessons and takeaways. I hope others enjoy this too! Hell yes to saying no to the norms!

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure if I'm the right audience for this so maybe that has to do with why I didn't like it, but I felt the author was overly preachy and holier-than-thou in presenting her argument. Her condescending tone was tough to ignore especially about a topic a lot of us are more familiar with than I think she gives the public credit for. I feel like this is more of a somewhat radical parenting guide rather than a guide to avoiding undesired influence and it's rather annoying to constantly listen to her tout how great she is at parenting. There were interesting pieces of information but few and far in between.

[machinaheart · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed listening to the audiobook very much, elefante reads it in a very engaging manner.
the questions at the end of the first few chapters, I really, really enjoyed as an exercise to take along with me. they're an easy entry-level exercise to question our beliefs and those of the people/media/... around us!

unfortunately for me, I jumped into the book without researching much, so I didn't know it was part memoir. and that's just not what I'm interested in. the anecdotes were charmingly narrated, but I wasn't actually that interested in the level of detail etc.

[Hannah Hunt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty solid piece of cultural criticism. The author made a lot of great points about our culture of endless influence, advertisements, technology reliance, and other modern struggles that are beginning to hold us back. She touches on capitalism and corporatism and how the forces that are working to influence us are not on our side. I found it to be very interesting and important, although I did see some harsh reviews- but I guess that's bound to happen when such deeply imbedded ways of thinking and living are questioned.

[tulsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

it makes total sense that a book coming from a self-admitted ex-con artist was so chock-full of charismatic writing. (just gonna flow w that succession of hyphenated words...)

i so much appreciated reading and thinking about the all-pervasive (...the flow continues...), powerful force of influence, and how essential it is to recognize and question it.

i also genuinely enjoyed getting to know the author, Jessica. truth be told, i think my favorite part of the book was the acknowledgements section!

[Raven McKnight · Rating 3 out of 5]

good reminder that you do, in fact, have free will! but alas, I think this was another memoir pretending to be a life-altering self-help-esque book. maybe it would be life altering if you'd never thought critically about your relationship with media (or people??) *at all*, but this didn't quite do it for me. I finished it bc I there was a journal prompt at the end of each chapter and once I started those I had to finish them. Other than that, the chapters were pretty hit-or-miss: some felt fresh and insightful, others felt pretty obvious and repetitive.

[rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was one big eyeroll from me. Disjointed thoughts, zero points. Attempts at practical application are common sense at best. Lost count of the number of times she blamed capitalism (incorrectly) and patriarchy and "the system". Not inventive. Not creative. Nothing new or enlightening. Anti-man, anti-corporations (which she calls capitalism), anti-marriage and traditional beliefs. Anti-religion & God (refers to him as her). Disappointing.