Normal Schmormal: My occasionally helpful guide to parenting kids with special needs

by Ashley Blaker

The heartwarming and hilarious part-memoir, part-guide from comedian and father-of-six Ashley Blaker, on parenting, adoption and raising children with special needs. ‘We had such a variety of experts visiting our home, we really needed a revolving door. All these professionals would watch our son playing while shaking their heads and making tutting sounds, like builders considering a bad job you wanted them to fix. “Tut tut tut. No speech, disordered social skills, sensory issues. This is going to cost you!!”’ Ashley Blaker has six children, three of whom have an SEN diagnosis. Between endless meetings, countless therapists, public humiliations, failed playdates, surreal monologues and occasional violence, it’s certainly not what anyone would call a ‘normal’ household – but would he want it any other way? Normal Schmormal is part-memoir, part how-to guide, highlighting the many challenges, as well as the hugely rewarding elements, of parenting children with additional needs. Written with humour, compassion and a lot of love, it’s a must-read for parents, carers and teachers of children with SEN, either looking for a bit of support or in need of a very big laugh.

384 pages, Hardcover

Published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Ciel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have both the audio and the hardcover copy. The author is audacious and heartfelt. Well spoken and irreverent. I do not have any special needs children myself, but having read and listened to this particular book, without exaggeration, I feel a veil has been lifted.

[Foxglove · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a hilarious book, but incredibly depressing. It has made me never want to have children because I don’t think I would ever have the strength of the author or his wife.

[Simon Prior · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a really candid and light hearted view on life as a parent to neurodivergent children. As a parent of two ND boys myself, it really resonated with me.

The book is structured in easy to read chapters and the casual comedic writing style makes it enjoyable too.

It’s left me wanting to share parenting stories with Ashley over a pint! Thank you Ashley for sharing with the world and doing your bit to raise the awareness!

[Francesca Pashby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why would anyone choose to have 6 children?!

Especially when the first four are boys (2 of whom have diagnoses as specified in the title, although they're all diagnosed with being BOYS).

Ashley Blaker's wife must officially be a saint. This book was both interesting and amusing, but also depressing and frustrating.

I have a friend whose first child is autistic (non verbal, will never be able to live independently), and she had a second child before knowing how hard life with the first child would be. She then 'risked' a third, knowing that the burden of looking after the first child might very well fall ultimately to the second ... would this middle child also have the same responsibilities towards the younger sibling?

I assume ultimately that most of Blaker's children will be able to live independently (albeit on a diet of crisps and violent video games), but Zoe at least will require life long care ... and which of her siblings will be able to provide it?

(Re: my friend, her third child was a Coldplay too, so they can share responsibility in due course).

[Jeff Landaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get this after pregnancy test, before adoption interview, etc.

Unbelievably helpful

Should be a must for pediatricians (but only if they have a sense of humour)

Do not read in bed (it will keep you awake)

[Jane Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

My son has ADHD and Aspergers and reading this book has made me laugh. Every child is different but some of the stories remind me so much of my son. Thank you for such a good read

[Elizabeth Hollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the parent of a Zappa and two Coldplays it was a wonderful read.

[Kim Robichaud · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy read. Funny.

[Claude Vecht-Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, insightful and moving.

This is a wonderful book and essential reading for everyone with children, irrespective of whether or not they have special needs.

[Katharine Orton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normal Schmormal has some hilarious moments, and aside from the sheer volume of children Ashley Blaker has (I only have the one Zappa) I found it both relatable and encouraging. His household actually reminded me of my own childhood, as although I'm an only child I spent most of it with a childminder who had her own six sons. (All of them Coldplays as far as I know, but I very much recognised the frenetic environment, stream of inappropriate viewing material and occasional violence.) Think my favourite chapter was definitely I is for Ignore the Idiots, as I often find the most challenging part of all this is other people.