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Civil War Wives: The Lives & Times of Angelina Grimke Weld, Varina Howell Davis & Julia Dent Grant
In these moving stories if Angelina Grimké Weld, wife of abolitionist Theodore Weld, Varina Howell Davis, wife of Confederate president Jefferson Davis, and Julia Dent grant, wife of Ulysses S. Grant, Carol Berkin reveals how women understood the cataclysmic events of their day. Their stories, taken together, help reconstruct the era of the Civil War with a greater depth and complexity by adding women's experiences and voices to their male counterparts.
384 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
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March 24, 2023
Three Women Of The Civil War
Note. This review was written in 2010 and posted here on Goodreads on election day, 2016, at the end of a tumultuous and divisive campaign.
In recent years, Americans have combined their long passion for Civil War history with an interest in women's studies. Carol Berkin's book, "Civil War Wives" (2009) combines this themes of the conflict and its women. She offers biographies of three women: Angela Grimke Weld (1805 --- 1879), Varina Howell Davis (1826 -- 1906); and Julia Dent Grant(1826 -- 1902) who married famous husbands. Berkin explores the lives of these women before, during and after their marriages. She tries to understand the different ways in which her subjects understood their own independence and marriages in an era in which women were widely-believed to properly occupy "separate spheres", centering upon home and family, from men. Berkin is Presidential Professor of History at Baruch College.
Grimke, Davis, and Grant all were born to wealthy slaveholding families. Each of the three women left substantial writings, which allowed Berkin to write about their lives with first-hand rather than reflected sources. Thus Grimke kept a journal throughout her life and wrote letters, speeches and articles. Davis wrote letters and, late in her life, a biography of her husband. For most of her life, Julia Grant wrote little. But after the death of Ulysees Grant, she wrote her own memoirs which were published only in 1975. Beyond these similarities, each of these women has their own story to tell. Berkin writes effectively in emphasizing the different life-paths of even these privileged American women of the 19th Century. These three ways, perhaps, illustrate three means of self-understanding, among possible other means. The comment on Julia Grant is telling. Berkin writes: (Preface, at xiii):
"Over the months, as their biographies took shape, I came to know these three women with the intimacy that biographers often acquire and with an affection that biographers do not always sustain. Angelina's bravery won my respect, Varina's brilliance won my admiration, and Julia's contentment won my envy."
Angelina Grimke differs from her two companions in this book in that she had a highly visible, notorious career in her own right before her marriage. The daughter of a wealthy and established slaveholding family in South Carolina, she became, as a young woman, highly critical of the peculiar institution. She followed her sister, Sarah, 14 years her senior, to Philadelphia and became a Quaker for a time. She soon became part of the Abolitionist movement and, with Sarah, became a passionate speaker in the Northeast relating her own experiences with the dehumanizing experience of slavery. Unlike some of the Abolitionists, the Grimke's also became advocates of women's rights. In the late 1830's Angelinia married her mentor, the abolitionist Theodore Weld. Many people, including her supporters, doubted whether Angelina would find happiness as a married woman given her independence and advocacy of women's issues. With the exception of a brief speaking engagement in 1963, Angelina Grimke's public career ended with her marriage, as she raised her children, became a housewife, and assisted Weld with his writing and research. The marriage was unconventional as well in that Sarah Grimke, who never married, lived almost for its entire course with the couple. Berkin describes the many tensions and unresolved issues that simmered as a result of this arrangement.
Varina Howell Davis also was the child of the owners of a successful plantation. She married Jefferson Davis when she was a young beauty of 17 and Davis was a reserved introspective man of 35 just beginning his political career. Many years earlier, Davis had courted and married the daughter of Zachary Taylor, Margaret, but, after a lengthy and stormy courtship, Margaret died months after the marriage. Davis love for Margaret cast a shadow over his marriage to Varina. Varina Davis was highly intelligent and educated and unafraid to express her opinions. Her independence caused some difficulties with the more traditionally-minded Jefferson Davis, but the couple on the whole appeared happy. The couple had six children, only one of whom survived young adulthood. (One child died in a tragic accident while Davis was the president of the Confederacy.) Varina Davis seemed more comfortable in the presence of educated men, who valued her independence and candor, than in the presence of other women who frequently denigrated her as the "Queen". After the fall of the Confederacy, Varina acted independently and courageously in her tireless and eventually successful efforts to free Jefferson Davis from prison. She assisted Davis in writing his memoirs and after his death had a life of her own. Varina Davis moved to New York City, wrote her own memoirs of Jefferson Davis, and became a writer and a journalist. Her home in a New York City became a meeting ground for artists, intellectuals, and politicians as Davis carved out a career in late life in her own right.
Julia Dent Grant was the daughter of Missouri slaveholders. When a young, socially awkward U.S. Grant visited the family, he became smitten immediately with Julia and remained so throughout his life. The couple had a long courtship, over the objections of Julia's father and with Grant's military career. The pair did not even see each other over a three year period. U.S. Grant and Julia enjoyed a long and, by all accounts, happy marriage, as both Grant and Julia accepted the gender conventions and roles of the society in which they lived. Julia's had an embarassing lack of political sense especially where slavery, and the role of her husband in ending it, were concerned. Her attachment to the Union was based on her love for her husband rather than in an understanding of political issues. When Grant died, Episcopal Bishop John Newman praised the couple's relationship, describing their complementary roles in accordance with gender mores of the time: "Husband and wife the happy supplement of each other. He the Doric column to sustain; she the Corinthian column to beautify. He the oak to support; she ivy to entwine." (Berkin, p. 303) Following Grant's death, Julia Grant showed a degree of independence by writing her own Memoirs. She boldly asked more for them than the publishers would pay and, as a result, her Memoirs remained unpublished until 1975.
It was valuable to get to know these three women and to try to understand Civil War America from their perspectives. As Berkin realizes, it is treacherous to generalize attitudes in any time and place over a pervasive subject such as gender roles. As Berkin wisely concludes with respect to her subjects (at 314) "[p]erhaps we cannot understand our own modern sensibilities until we understand theirs."
Robin Friedman
Note. This review was written in 2010 and posted here on Goodreads on election day, 2016, at the end of a tumultuous and divisive campaign.
In recent years, Americans have combined their long passion for Civil War history with an interest in women's studies. Carol Berkin's book, "Civil War Wives" (2009) combines this themes of the conflict and its women. She offers biographies of three women: Angela Grimke Weld (1805 --- 1879), Varina Howell Davis (1826 -- 1906); and Julia Dent Grant(1826 -- 1902) who married famous husbands. Berkin explores the lives of these women before, during and after their marriages. She tries to understand the different ways in which her subjects understood their own independence and marriages in an era in which women were widely-believed to properly occupy "separate spheres", centering upon home and family, from men. Berkin is Presidential Professor of History at Baruch College.
Grimke, Davis, and Grant all were born to wealthy slaveholding families. Each of the three women left substantial writings, which allowed Berkin to write about their lives with first-hand rather than reflected sources. Thus Grimke kept a journal throughout her life and wrote letters, speeches and articles. Davis wrote letters and, late in her life, a biography of her husband. For most of her life, Julia Grant wrote little. But after the death of Ulysees Grant, she wrote her own memoirs which were published only in 1975. Beyond these similarities, each of these women has their own story to tell. Berkin writes effectively in emphasizing the different life-paths of even these privileged American women of the 19th Century. These three ways, perhaps, illustrate three means of self-understanding, among possible other means. The comment on Julia Grant is telling. Berkin writes: (Preface, at xiii):
"Over the months, as their biographies took shape, I came to know these three women with the intimacy that biographers often acquire and with an affection that biographers do not always sustain. Angelina's bravery won my respect, Varina's brilliance won my admiration, and Julia's contentment won my envy."
Angelina Grimke differs from her two companions in this book in that she had a highly visible, notorious career in her own right before her marriage. The daughter of a wealthy and established slaveholding family in South Carolina, she became, as a young woman, highly critical of the peculiar institution. She followed her sister, Sarah, 14 years her senior, to Philadelphia and became a Quaker for a time. She soon became part of the Abolitionist movement and, with Sarah, became a passionate speaker in the Northeast relating her own experiences with the dehumanizing experience of slavery. Unlike some of the Abolitionists, the Grimke's also became advocates of women's rights. In the late 1830's Angelinia married her mentor, the abolitionist Theodore Weld. Many people, including her supporters, doubted whether Angelina would find happiness as a married woman given her independence and advocacy of women's issues. With the exception of a brief speaking engagement in 1963, Angelina Grimke's public career ended with her marriage, as she raised her children, became a housewife, and assisted Weld with his writing and research. The marriage was unconventional as well in that Sarah Grimke, who never married, lived almost for its entire course with the couple. Berkin describes the many tensions and unresolved issues that simmered as a result of this arrangement.
Varina Howell Davis also was the child of the owners of a successful plantation. She married Jefferson Davis when she was a young beauty of 17 and Davis was a reserved introspective man of 35 just beginning his political career. Many years earlier, Davis had courted and married the daughter of Zachary Taylor, Margaret, but, after a lengthy and stormy courtship, Margaret died months after the marriage. Davis love for Margaret cast a shadow over his marriage to Varina. Varina Davis was highly intelligent and educated and unafraid to express her opinions. Her independence caused some difficulties with the more traditionally-minded Jefferson Davis, but the couple on the whole appeared happy. The couple had six children, only one of whom survived young adulthood. (One child died in a tragic accident while Davis was the president of the Confederacy.) Varina Davis seemed more comfortable in the presence of educated men, who valued her independence and candor, than in the presence of other women who frequently denigrated her as the "Queen". After the fall of the Confederacy, Varina acted independently and courageously in her tireless and eventually successful efforts to free Jefferson Davis from prison. She assisted Davis in writing his memoirs and after his death had a life of her own. Varina Davis moved to New York City, wrote her own memoirs of Jefferson Davis, and became a writer and a journalist. Her home in a New York City became a meeting ground for artists, intellectuals, and politicians as Davis carved out a career in late life in her own right.
Julia Dent Grant was the daughter of Missouri slaveholders. When a young, socially awkward U.S. Grant visited the family, he became smitten immediately with Julia and remained so throughout his life. The couple had a long courtship, over the objections of Julia's father and with Grant's military career. The pair did not even see each other over a three year period. U.S. Grant and Julia enjoyed a long and, by all accounts, happy marriage, as both Grant and Julia accepted the gender conventions and roles of the society in which they lived. Julia's had an embarassing lack of political sense especially where slavery, and the role of her husband in ending it, were concerned. Her attachment to the Union was based on her love for her husband rather than in an understanding of political issues. When Grant died, Episcopal Bishop John Newman praised the couple's relationship, describing their complementary roles in accordance with gender mores of the time: "Husband and wife the happy supplement of each other. He the Doric column to sustain; she the Corinthian column to beautify. He the oak to support; she ivy to entwine." (Berkin, p. 303) Following Grant's death, Julia Grant showed a degree of independence by writing her own Memoirs. She boldly asked more for them than the publishers would pay and, as a result, her Memoirs remained unpublished until 1975.
It was valuable to get to know these three women and to try to understand Civil War America from their perspectives. As Berkin realizes, it is treacherous to generalize attitudes in any time and place over a pervasive subject such as gender roles. As Berkin wisely concludes with respect to her subjects (at 314) "[p]erhaps we cannot understand our own modern sensibilities until we understand theirs."
Robin Friedman
January 22, 2012
This is an incredible read. Normally, when I read nonfiction/history books, I would often find my eyes crossing while reading different names and places among the mumble and jumbles ... but not this time. This author, Ms. Berkin, has brought these three women (that I really didn't know anything about) and their differences and unique temperaments alive in these pages. The only thing these women have in common is the fact that they were born and raised in slave-holding families of the South. The Civil War affected each of them in different ways. They all were married to famous men, strong leaders in their own rights.
History is often mute on the subject of women and how they view wars in their lifetimes. Ms. Berkin brought these women's voices alive.
I have to say that I really enjoyed getting to know each of these women in these pages. I would now think that Mrs. Weld is really the forerunner of the feminism movement that took off in the late 1800s and early 1900s. She and her sister were fighting hard in their days to allow their voices to be heard.
Mrs. Davis is a strong woman tempered by her genteel upbringing where women are encouraged to think that their husbands are the mainstays of the household and yet she struggled with it since she was a very intelligent woman. And Mrs. Grant was not as intelligent as those two other women are but her goal was to keep her family well-nourished and the love she has for her husband is gratifying.
I cannot believe how much I enjoyed reading this book and would definitely recommend it for anyone who is interested in history especially history of strong women!
History is often mute on the subject of women and how they view wars in their lifetimes. Ms. Berkin brought these women's voices alive.
I have to say that I really enjoyed getting to know each of these women in these pages. I would now think that Mrs. Weld is really the forerunner of the feminism movement that took off in the late 1800s and early 1900s. She and her sister were fighting hard in their days to allow their voices to be heard.
Mrs. Davis is a strong woman tempered by her genteel upbringing where women are encouraged to think that their husbands are the mainstays of the household and yet she struggled with it since she was a very intelligent woman. And Mrs. Grant was not as intelligent as those two other women are but her goal was to keep her family well-nourished and the love she has for her husband is gratifying.
I cannot believe how much I enjoyed reading this book and would definitely recommend it for anyone who is interested in history especially history of strong women!
October 28, 2021
Loved it! A gift from Darin and the girls that I probably never would have picked for myself. But gave me all I didn’t know I was looking for that more intimate connection to Grant. And I certainly wasn’t aware I’d enjoy reading that glance into Jefferson Davis’ life! But enjoy it I did!
I was pretty bored with the Griemke bio in the first part of the book. Once I was past that part and I to Virana Davis and Julia Grant I just devoured it!
Grant was as adorable privately with Julia as I think I’d imagine him to be.
It seems one book I read Davis was all Union until the last possible moment another book much less so. This book put him as super pro Union. Shelby Foote puts him as Southern Nationalist when young then more Union and then like a settling just before the “forced” (in his eyes) division of the Union.
I definitely want my hands on Julia Dent Grants Memoirs! I LOVED Grants but I think I’ll love hers even more. I adore her unshakable faith in her general grant. I left the book wanting to take up that admiration more practically with my own husband.
Julia’s political views, or utter lack there of was surprising and funny! A light into how some southerners could reckon their way of life: no introspection. She couldn’t believe her slaves ran away. Just put your palm to your forehead and that’s what I was doing!
I wish I could find books that told more about how Davis even Washington Jefferson ect treated their slaves when they ran did George W actively try to recapture them? Did Julia try to get hers back. I doubt it but I’d like to know.
This like 1812 was just a simpler book and I’ll be honest I much prefer these books that I don’t have to look up every other word but just enjoy.
I was pretty bored with the Griemke bio in the first part of the book. Once I was past that part and I to Virana Davis and Julia Grant I just devoured it!
Grant was as adorable privately with Julia as I think I’d imagine him to be.
It seems one book I read Davis was all Union until the last possible moment another book much less so. This book put him as super pro Union. Shelby Foote puts him as Southern Nationalist when young then more Union and then like a settling just before the “forced” (in his eyes) division of the Union.
I definitely want my hands on Julia Dent Grants Memoirs! I LOVED Grants but I think I’ll love hers even more. I adore her unshakable faith in her general grant. I left the book wanting to take up that admiration more practically with my own husband.
Julia’s political views, or utter lack there of was surprising and funny! A light into how some southerners could reckon their way of life: no introspection. She couldn’t believe her slaves ran away. Just put your palm to your forehead and that’s what I was doing!
I wish I could find books that told more about how Davis even Washington Jefferson ect treated their slaves when they ran did George W actively try to recapture them? Did Julia try to get hers back. I doubt it but I’d like to know.
This like 1812 was just a simpler book and I’ll be honest I much prefer these books that I don’t have to look up every other word but just enjoy.
July 13, 2021
The biographies of three influential women; Angelina Grimke Weld, Varina Howell Davis and Julia Dent Grant. A very informative look at how these wives contributed to Civil War history by influencing their husbands either directly or indirectly. It was interesting to read about the perspective of the woman during that time frame.
February 1, 2012
I did like this book. It was given to me by my mom who read it in a book club. I think I would have liked it much better if I had a group to discuss it with afterwards. My biggest problem with the book was that the author wrote it as if only students of the Civil War would read it, and people and occurrences were introduced but their significance was not always explained. I know I would have gotten a lot more out of the book if they had been.
The strength of this book is in the choice of subjects. Angelina Weld was born in the South to privileged family, and was only able to move North and speak on the atrocities of slavery because her family was wealthy enough that she had an inheritance to support her. There is no doubt that this wealth came from the fruits of slavery, and Angelina spoke out on the immorality and cruelty of the system she saw growing up, however, as far as I could tell she never acknowledged that the life she lived in the north was directly due to the system in the South. Varina Davis grew up a less privileged southern belle and had no qualms about slavery. She ends up marring Jefferson Davis, the US Senator and later president of the Confederacy, and how she views the Civil War and what her family went through is interesting as a strong willed woman and how she handles being married to an older man with views on what her roll is as a wife. Julia Grant is a pampered southern belle with no problems with slavery, and even though her husband is a prominent general in the Union army (and later a president during reconstruction) she continues to keep slaves and is surprised when they "run away" after the emancipation proclamation. These three woman where in the "right place" at an interesting time, and their letters and journals make for very interesting reading both for the view on the Civil War and the roll women played in society during that period.
The strength of this book is in the choice of subjects. Angelina Weld was born in the South to privileged family, and was only able to move North and speak on the atrocities of slavery because her family was wealthy enough that she had an inheritance to support her. There is no doubt that this wealth came from the fruits of slavery, and Angelina spoke out on the immorality and cruelty of the system she saw growing up, however, as far as I could tell she never acknowledged that the life she lived in the north was directly due to the system in the South. Varina Davis grew up a less privileged southern belle and had no qualms about slavery. She ends up marring Jefferson Davis, the US Senator and later president of the Confederacy, and how she views the Civil War and what her family went through is interesting as a strong willed woman and how she handles being married to an older man with views on what her roll is as a wife. Julia Grant is a pampered southern belle with no problems with slavery, and even though her husband is a prominent general in the Union army (and later a president during reconstruction) she continues to keep slaves and is surprised when they "run away" after the emancipation proclamation. These three woman where in the "right place" at an interesting time, and their letters and journals make for very interesting reading both for the view on the Civil War and the roll women played in society during that period.
November 24, 2010
Civil War Wives: The Lives and Times of Angelina Grimke Weld, Varina Howell Davis, and Julia Dent Grant by Carol Berkin leaves me in awe of biographers of the historical persuasion. I read in the author's note at the end of the book that it took Berkin only three years to write this 315 page book. She deftly weaves in the lives of the three women mentioned above.
My thoughts on Angelina. She was my favovrite. Angelina G. W. was born on a comfortable plantation and rejected the lifestyle as well as members of her family to move up North to fight for the abolitionist cause and the rights of women. For many years, she was very much alone in her countercultural actions. She was introspective and wrote extensively in her diary and in letters about all she had given up.
Varina was a little bit harder to like. She was a spoiled plantation owner's daughter, married Jefferson Davis who was self-centered, perfectionistic, and moody. Varin's once comfortable life turned out to be so difficult, as she experieced tragedy after tragedy, that in the end she mellowed quite a bit.
Julia was also likeable, as was President Grant. I enjoyed the very human side Berkin gave to Grant, whom I just knew as a rumpled general with a drinking problem. Julia and Grant loved each other deeply, until Grant died of throat cancer. I admired her pluck and courage. All three women had pluck and courage, and it was amazing to see how it strengthened the relationships with their husbands, instead of distanced.
Totally enjoyable, I wholeheartedly recommend it!
My thoughts on Angelina. She was my favovrite. Angelina G. W. was born on a comfortable plantation and rejected the lifestyle as well as members of her family to move up North to fight for the abolitionist cause and the rights of women. For many years, she was very much alone in her countercultural actions. She was introspective and wrote extensively in her diary and in letters about all she had given up.
Varina was a little bit harder to like. She was a spoiled plantation owner's daughter, married Jefferson Davis who was self-centered, perfectionistic, and moody. Varin's once comfortable life turned out to be so difficult, as she experieced tragedy after tragedy, that in the end she mellowed quite a bit.
Julia was also likeable, as was President Grant. I enjoyed the very human side Berkin gave to Grant, whom I just knew as a rumpled general with a drinking problem. Julia and Grant loved each other deeply, until Grant died of throat cancer. I admired her pluck and courage. All three women had pluck and courage, and it was amazing to see how it strengthened the relationships with their husbands, instead of distanced.
Totally enjoyable, I wholeheartedly recommend it!
December 1, 2009
I found the section on Angelina Grimke Weld a bit dry. I enjoyed the sections on Varina Howell Davis since I didn't know anything about her or Jefferson and had never read a non-fiction book dealing with the South during the Civil War. Even though Julia Dent Grant was characterized as shallow, I admired her continuous positive attitude. These women, privileged or not, led hard lives! How each woman molded her role in society and on the domestic scene during the same era was enlightening.
July 6, 2013
Enjoyed the book very much, especially the section about Mrs Jefferson Davis, First Lady of the Confederacy. It was wonderfully detailed. Didn't care so much for the section on Mrs U. S Grant . Didn't tell me much. Still, overall, the book was very good.
May 4, 2025
This was an excellent book. However I’m not sure why Angelina Grimke Weld was included. She was not the wife of a general or president. Her story I felt added nothing to the overall thesis of the book. Better additions would have been Mary Todd Lincoln and Mary Anna Custis Lee wife of Robert E. Lee. Angelina Grimke Weld was a self-righteous condescending woman who lived off her family’s wealth (the wealth she hated) even her son didn’t want to be involved in her crusades and refused to join the Union Army. Varina Howell Davis was like a tragic heroine from a Shakespearean play. The poor woman couldn’t catch a break. Such heartbreak and tragedy for her. But it’s Julia Dent Grant’s story is the story I liked best. Her story was one of unbridled love, optimism, naivety; she had for her husband, children, life, and the world around her. I felt such a connection with her. Good book overall 5.0 bookworms.
July 29, 2017
Books like this make history come alive, and I read this one quickly. I have always been interested in the ways women have created lives for themselves when bound by restrictive social customs and never realized that many abolitionists considered the women's rights movement to be a distraction that took focus away from their anti-slavery efforts. Dr. Berkin's juxtapositions of the lives of Varina Howell Davis, First Lady of the Confederacy, and Julia Dent Grant, wife of Ulysses S. Grant, intrigued me, especially since I live in the former capital of the Confederacy. Books like this one shed light on the Civil War and the complex reasons both sides went to war. It is important to discuss these issues -
not whitewash the "peculiar institution" that was slavery. Dr. Berkin presents her characters with fairness and sympathy.
not whitewash the "peculiar institution" that was slavery. Dr. Berkin presents her characters with fairness and sympathy.
January 4, 2024
I really enjoyed this book and learning new details concerning the Civil War era that somehow escaped by history classes in school. Ms. Berkin told the story of each of these three women individually but she also wove their stories together in the final pages and explained how their lives differed and also the things they had in common. Varina Davis and Julia Grant even became good friends in their later lives when both were widowed. That seems amazing!!! Ms. Berkin did an excellent job of portraying each of the women so it seemed that the reader actually knew them, their characteristics, their faults and their strong points. I recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about the Civil War era.
February 2, 2021
I enjoyed relearning (or remembering) about life leading up to and during the Civil War. The stories of these three women (an abolitionist & suffragette, the wife of the President of the Confederate States and the wife of Union General and President of the United States) are told through their correspondence and memoirs. The themes of their lives coincide with today’s world (the Me Too! movement, Black Lives Matter, and the deep divide in our country that led to an insurrection and attack on Congress in January 2021). While the book tells of the lives of these three women, it was during the reading that I realized the correlations to today’s world .....
May 27, 2017
Berkin chooses three women who played a significant role between 1830 - 1860, including the wives of two presidents. I had hoped for a broader approach to the civil war experience through the voices of the peasantry on both sides. With over 660,000 lives of men lost over four years, the impact on civil war wives and their families was significant and far reaching. This is not a book a bout that. It was also nothing more than a cursory glance at the slave experience. For it's limited focus, not a bad effort.
March 12, 2018
Nonfiction about three women, significant during the 19th century, but largely forgotten today: all Southern-born, all of slave-holding families, and all married men who were powerful and influential during their era. Berkin devotes a section to each, and gives a good survey of each woman's life, providing their unique perspectives on their tumultuous times with their insights on love and marriage and a woman's place, and illuminates the paths each chose to follow. Well written, absorbing, interesting, and well researched.
June 9, 2018
A great book with the voices and perspectives of these three women resounding from the times in which they lived. I enjoyed learning more, and it felt like three short biographies. The author created a well-rounded picture of the times, their day-to-day lives, their monumental moments, all well-researched and interesting to read.
I felt that the author claimed how smart Varina Davis was, but I never felt while reading her biography that her keen intelligence came through.
I felt that the author claimed how smart Varina Davis was, but I never felt while reading her biography that her keen intelligence came through.
June 28, 2018
A well written multi-biography of Angelina Grimke Weld-abolitionist, Varina Howell Davis-President Jefferson Davis and Julia Dent Grant-Ulysses Grant. It's interesting to find out the differences and similarities between these three very different women. All of them grew up with a background of slaveholding and the reactions and attitudes of the three and how they either saw the brutality of slavery or denied it in their own lives.
July 4, 2020
A very interesting and good look into the wives of a couple of the most known individuals during the civil war. It was interesting to have a peak into their lives before, during, and after the war and see if and how they supported their partners, but also if they felt the same as their husbands. In addition, you can learn about the efforts made by some of these women on their own. The writing itself is done very well and the extent of sources is encouraging.
January 27, 2022
A good book to review highlights of the history of those times, yet get a parallel account of three women living through that. The struggles of these three women were reminders of the rigid rules of society in the Nineteenth century and life without the modern conveniences. This book, I thought, showed quite well how modern conveniences has changed but political and human attitudes remain the same.
January 16, 2023
I read pages xi-xiv, 1-100, because I wanted to learn about Angelina Grimke Weld. However the writing is so good that I will eventually return to it to read about Varina Howell Davis and Julia Dent Grant.
Angelina Grimke Weld was an inspiration for her leadership in the abolition movements of the first half of the 19th century AND for speaking out and addressing the need for women to also be equal under the law.
Angelina Grimke Weld was an inspiration for her leadership in the abolition movements of the first half of the 19th century AND for speaking out and addressing the need for women to also be equal under the law.
January 23, 2024
This one took me a long time to get through but was well worth it. These three women are absolutely fascinating, and I loved the lens of separate spheres/true womanhood and how they did and did not diverge from that ideal. I knew of all of these women, but this book truly humanized them.
January 14, 2025
Moving biographical portraits of three prominent women of the mid-19th century who each presented different approaches to grappling with, surviving, and remembering the turbulent period of the antebellum, war, and reconstruction decades.
February 20, 2022
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2 Stars
May 9, 2023
This was an informative if not overly entertaining book on famous women during the civil war era.
3.5 Stars.
3.5 Stars.
April 22, 2018
I bought this last November off of a street sale in front of Second Story Books in D.C. I had read the author's Wondrous Beauty, and this book was in Ron Chernow's bibliography of his GRANT. Here is the story of three strong yet different women, whose lives are defined by mid-19th. century America. I am from South Carolina and had heard of but knew little of abolitionist Angelina Grimke. Her life perhaps stands apart from the other two; she is independent and even radical and charts a course of life initially free of any man-or of the birth family she abandons in her abolitionist fervor. Varina Davis and Julia Grant are more typical of the times in seeking marriage and family, one within a political live (Davis) and the other in a military life (Grant). If Grimke abandons her Southern roots, so does Julia Grant by marriage to Grant from his anti slavery family. Davis, after Civil War tragedy-the death of young children-will abandon the South for-YIKES!-New York City. In the North she becomes acquainted with Grant, their Southern backgrounds a common link over divisions of war. This is a scholarly yet absorbing survey of three unique women in a gender defined time.
February 13, 2011
This book is divided into 3 parts, each providing an introduction and brief summary to the lives of 3 American women, Angelina Gimke Weld, Varina Howell Davis and Julia Dent Grant. I was not familiar with the story of Angelina Weld, the 14th child born into a prominent South Carolina plantation family in 1805. Angelina was raised by an older sister, Sarah, who was a clever and well read woman. Sarah left her Episcopalian roots, becoming initially a Presbyterian and later a Quaker, ultimately moving to Philadelphia. Angelina eventually joined Sarah and both became active in the anti-slavery movement. They broke new ground for women by giving lectures about the topic and expanded the idea to include equality for women as well. In time, Angelina married Theodore Weld and the 3 (Sarah joined her sister's household) continued their life together. Although they were active in abolition activities, it was not clear why Angelina's story is included along with the stories of Varina Davis, who was the wife of Jefferson Davis, and Julia Grant, who was the wife of Ulysses Grant, both of whom were clearly involved in the story of the Civil War.
All three women were raised in families who owned slaves. All three women had to cope with learning to do things on their own as their husbands worked in government or held public office. I was impressed at how they moved households around, gave birth to children in trying conditions and were able to manage to keep their families together. All three were described as being very astute in understanding the people around them. Angelina and Varina were very clever and spoke their minds and had difficulty being accepted. Julia was an indifferent student, but her indulgent father and husband loved her for her amusing interpretation. 'Why not just change the constitution to something that is more appropriate for current times?', she apparently suggested to President Grant. The book focuses primarily on the domestic details of these women's lives. The households moved frequently and resources were sometimes scarce. Angelina's children were raised by both Angelina and her sister. Varina Davis eventually buried 5 of her 6 children, while Julia's children all grew to adulthood.
An interesting, well annotated read.
All three women were raised in families who owned slaves. All three women had to cope with learning to do things on their own as their husbands worked in government or held public office. I was impressed at how they moved households around, gave birth to children in trying conditions and were able to manage to keep their families together. All three were described as being very astute in understanding the people around them. Angelina and Varina were very clever and spoke their minds and had difficulty being accepted. Julia was an indifferent student, but her indulgent father and husband loved her for her amusing interpretation. 'Why not just change the constitution to something that is more appropriate for current times?', she apparently suggested to President Grant. The book focuses primarily on the domestic details of these women's lives. The households moved frequently and resources were sometimes scarce. Angelina's children were raised by both Angelina and her sister. Varina Davis eventually buried 5 of her 6 children, while Julia's children all grew to adulthood.
An interesting, well annotated read.
July 10, 2015
The names and deeds of the politicians, statesmen, generals, and reformers of the Civil War era are familiar to most Americans.
In Civil War Wives, Carol Berkin explores the lives of three women in the years leading up to the Civil War, the Civil War itself, and the years following. She effectively shows wives from the abolitionist movement, the government, and the military to give a broad picture of how all three affected the Civil War and were affected by it. The women themselves also run the full gamut from subservient, proper Victorian wife to early feminist. The book gives a glimpse of the lives of wives during the Civil War.
I learned a lot from this book that I did not know and I enjoyed getting to know more about people that were heretofore just names in history books. All three women had fascinating lives and were historically significant. I only had two problems with the book. The first is that for a book called Civil War wives, very little was actually mentioned about the Civil War. I mean I know it only lasted for four years in these women's lives, but it was a little too glossed over for my taste. Secondly, I would have liked more wives. The three featured here were great, but I don't know if they can actually be used to exemplify the majority of Civil War wives.
The book is an interesting biography of three women from the Civil War period. If you are interested in women's history or the Civil War I recommend picking this book up.
In Civil War Wives, Carol Berkin explores the lives of three women in the years leading up to the Civil War, the Civil War itself, and the years following. She effectively shows wives from the abolitionist movement, the government, and the military to give a broad picture of how all three affected the Civil War and were affected by it. The women themselves also run the full gamut from subservient, proper Victorian wife to early feminist. The book gives a glimpse of the lives of wives during the Civil War.
I learned a lot from this book that I did not know and I enjoyed getting to know more about people that were heretofore just names in history books. All three women had fascinating lives and were historically significant. I only had two problems with the book. The first is that for a book called Civil War wives, very little was actually mentioned about the Civil War. I mean I know it only lasted for four years in these women's lives, but it was a little too glossed over for my taste. Secondly, I would have liked more wives. The three featured here were great, but I don't know if they can actually be used to exemplify the majority of Civil War wives.
The book is an interesting biography of three women from the Civil War period. If you are interested in women's history or the Civil War I recommend picking this book up.
June 30, 2012
I would definitely call this a good book but not a great book. I finished it nonetheless. First Lady history and biography has always interested me from an early age - the domestic intrigue, the marital spats, the bad children, the influence behind the throne. We know so much and then again so little about most of our First Ladies. What did they think, what did they whisper into their husband's ears each night, how powerful are or were they. Clearly Julia Grant had some power over her husband; an artfully thrown fit and she got her way about many things (I'm a sucker for romance and love stories too, and I think Grant must have really adored his homely cross eyed little wife).
Civil War Wives wasn't really about the Civil War -- the three women all lived through the war, but I think that only one -- Varina Davis -- was directly impacted by the war in a meaningfully interesting way. She was definitely stuck in the cross hairs of the war from the very beginning to its end. The most interesting parts of Angelina Weld's life took place before the war; she didn't really have an active role in the war itself. Julia Grant was definitely a sightseer, but again she was mostly following her husband from engagement to engagement; her involvement was still more than Weld's Weld felt like a tack on. The whole book is a misnomer. But interesting to read nonetheless.
Civil War Wives wasn't really about the Civil War -- the three women all lived through the war, but I think that only one -- Varina Davis -- was directly impacted by the war in a meaningfully interesting way. She was definitely stuck in the cross hairs of the war from the very beginning to its end. The most interesting parts of Angelina Weld's life took place before the war; she didn't really have an active role in the war itself. Julia Grant was definitely a sightseer, but again she was mostly following her husband from engagement to engagement; her involvement was still more than Weld's Weld felt like a tack on. The whole book is a misnomer. But interesting to read nonetheless.
November 17, 2012
I found this book sitting on the shelves at the Southdale Library. It has an old, ratty barcode, so the book has been in the collection for awhile.
At first, I was irritated with the author because she did not pick Mary Lincoln as one of the three, and I had read the introduction which stated that she had been eliminated as a choice because Mrs. Lincoln could be viewed as "idiosyncratic, and perhaps leaning toward madness." After finishing the book, I know that Mrs. Lincoln would not have been a good choice to achieve the author's purpose in comparing three women with very different, specific stories.
The author uses verified sources and liberal quotes from texts to support the telling of the women's lives, principles, and historical significance. The women represent one who is struggling internally with the abolition question and women's rights, one who is intelligent and outgoing who is in a marriage that demands a role of always being submissive and supportive, and one who is groomed to be a traditional wife and mother. Fascinating reading!
At first, I was irritated with the author because she did not pick Mary Lincoln as one of the three, and I had read the introduction which stated that she had been eliminated as a choice because Mrs. Lincoln could be viewed as "idiosyncratic, and perhaps leaning toward madness." After finishing the book, I know that Mrs. Lincoln would not have been a good choice to achieve the author's purpose in comparing three women with very different, specific stories.
The author uses verified sources and liberal quotes from texts to support the telling of the women's lives, principles, and historical significance. The women represent one who is struggling internally with the abolition question and women's rights, one who is intelligent and outgoing who is in a marriage that demands a role of always being submissive and supportive, and one who is groomed to be a traditional wife and mother. Fascinating reading!
July 18, 2013
Carol Berkin writes three biographies in this book - Angelina Grimke Weld, Varina Howell Davis, and Julia Dent Grant. All three women were married to powerful men and these three women all dealt with their lives and the times in such different ways. Angelina Grimke was a major abolitionist and women's rights advocate. She was revolutionary and when she married, she had a difficult time fitting into the domestic role expected of her. Varina Davis wanted to be a confidante and advisor to her husband, but he often bristled at his smarty-pants wife. Varina also faced a nomadic life upon the collapse of the Confederacy. Julia Grant had no such problems. She thought her husband was handsome and brave. She thought fairies would look after him and her family. She didn't understand what all the fuss over the Constitution was about. She was so blissfully ignorant, I was almost jealous of her. Overall, an interesting study of the lives of these three ladies and the times they lived in.
August 29, 2011
This is one of my favorite reads this Spring/Summer. I was surprised how well I liked this book actually. Since I like biography, this book was right up my ally since it's based on three woman's diaries. I learned so much about the way the Civil War affected families, households, marriages, and individuals. I've never been into woman's rights but this book gave me a lot to think about Victorian (Antabellum) America/ pre-Civil War ideals. One of the most notable things for me in reading about this history is how death was not a tucked away matter. Losing loved ones to sickness and death for women was a huge part of there role in society as the health care of their families. The stories of how the women had to deal with losing children, taking care of sick husbands, and playing nurse even to themselves was oddly comforting.
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