The Nibble Theory and the Kernel of Power: A Book about Leadership, Self-Empowerment, and Personal Growth

by Kaleel Jamison

Like a snowflake or a fingerprint, we are all one of a kind and have a special contribution to make. The late Kaleel Jamison, one of the first women to enter the field of management consulting, experienced what she described as "nibbles," little bites that life takes out of you―really attacks on your self confidence. Her longtime best selling book, The Nibble Theory, is a process for dealing with the world that moves the reader toward personal power and growth arising out of the unique values and strengths of each person. "Kaleel cared deeply about the unique combination of gifts and talents that each of us brings to the world. She felt that she had a mission, and feared what would be lost if we, as individuals and organizations, did not take on the sacred responsibility of being, and supporting others in being, the biggest circles possible. That's what makes this book so important." ―Frederick A. Miller, President and CEO, The Kaleel Jamison Consulting Group, Inc. †

Genres: Leadership, Nonfiction, Business, Psychology, Management

75 pages, Paperback

First published June 27, 1984

Reviews

[Brandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The premise is simple. All people have the potential to grow into the very best people they can be. This growth can spread like light from a candle. When you give away some of your candle�s light to light someone else�s candle, you don�t have less light; everyone has more light. A circle symbolizes this growth.

People enter life as small circles with the potential to grow into big circles. The world is full of circles of all sizes. Big circlesleaders, movers, shakers, initiators, independent thinkers. Others are smaller circlessecond in command, responders, reactors, etc. And then there are very small circlesfollowers, hesitators, non-contributors.

All circles could be big, but some are afraid, some choose to stay small, some don�t believe they could get bigger. As they go through life, small circles encounter other circles, large and small, and several possible interactions are possible. A large circle can encourage that little circle to grow. Or the small circle, intimidated by the size of the big circle, can try to take bites out of it and �nibble� it down to size. Or the big circle, intimidated by the potential growth of the small circle, can do the same. Small circles can nibble another growing small circle, because his getting bigger is frightening. He's getting bigger, so they must be getting smaller--right?

Here are some sentences you will hear if you are being nibbled down to a less threatening size: You�re too emotional. You�re too sensitive. You�re too serious. You�re too friendly. You work too hard. You�re too outspoken. You always give your ideas first. We�ve always done it this way. This isn�t really your field, is it? The list goes on.

The book, in these simple, quiet terms, goes on to tell what happens to nibblers and nibblees. It addresses the fear some people have that if one person gets �bigger�, someone else has to get �smaller�and they�re afraid it will be them. It tells how sometimes a circle will try desperately to stay small so others will be more comfortable and like him/her, and avoid the nibbles. It tells the joy of circles who encourage other circles to get as big as they can, because ultimately the world is a better place for it.

[David Poltorak · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.7/5
Running out of available books to read due to libraries still being closed.
This short read is fueled by an energy for personal growth by looking at the core of who you are as an individual. The questioning/self-discovery is difficult, but worthwhile.
Your growth and self-empowerment is not limited by the size/growth of others around you. Relationships flourish when given space and encouraged to grow. No one benefits from the subtle “nibbling” at the size of other’s success/value.
Growth is difficult because it requires courage to try new experiences, especially knowing perfection cannot be achieved early on.

Quotes:

Nothing ventured, something lost.

Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is self-empowering and validating. It is only natural for people to want to grow throughout their lives; in fact, it is a sacred duty to grow. But it is possible to pursue growth that does not limit or belittle others. What Kaleel Jamison refers to as “nibbles” might now be called “micro aggressions,” and when we perpetrate or witness micro aggressions, we have a responsibility to consider why and grow through that experience. Your growth does not impede my own. There is no fixed quantity of power, knowledge, or influence available in the world. And there is no need to put up with nibbles from others who are attempting to hold you back.

The Kernel of Power refers to the unique qualities and gifts that each individual brings and their overall purpose—spending time considering what motivates you and what strengths you have to offer can further support your own efforts to learn and grow without apology.

This is a quick read and has been reprinted since its initial publication in the 1980s. It strikes me that it might be a nice graduation gift or promotion celebration—a vote of confidence for someone who is embarking on a journey of self discovery and improvement. It may have been more ground shaking in its early days (I’m not sure), but it’s a welcome message even now.

[Mikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

When reading this short book. I went in with a closed mind...like yeah right who would ever allow another the make them feel less than of or smaller then such.

Well I have been in similar situation especially work...this teaches you how to have a different outlook on how you speak to others, how you allow others to address you and always knowing the growth is the KEY.

We can have boundaries, knowing how to let go of some of them is how we grow and how we want to interact with others.

Yes I was a nibbler...to myself and to others (not knowing I was truly doing so) I will definitely be more mindful.

[Linda Leitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Based on the inscription, my mother gave me this book for Christmas in 1985. I remember at the time thinking it was silly that she gave me a short book with pictures. I finally read it in April 2021. It's amazing the things that our parents give us that we don't appreciate at the time. As the book says, simple things aren't necessarily easy. And self awareness - especially of our strengths and innate power - can allow us and those around us to be our best. It's amazing to me that the 1980s version of this book also has excellent insight on race and gender issues. It's well forth the short time it will take to read it. Don't wait a few decades like I did.

[Ben Leonard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good, relatively short read on a topic that a lot of us could stand to understand better. It’s presented in an easy to understand format with simple illustrations that add some levity to the theory. I would recommend this to almost anyone but especially those in leadership and management positions, both formal and informal.

[Frieda Sewald Weigle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book before its time, it covers how to find your kernel of power and how to grow to be the "biggest" circle while empowering others to also grow their circle. It also explores how others may nibble you to make your circle smaller and the reasons behind that.

[WR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple yet deep. It was a good reminder to be the best we can be, and to help others be their best too.

[Marlene M'larky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read.

[Stacy LinDell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, easy read. Reminder to trust yourself and persevere. Reminder to hold back when it's someone else's time to shine.

[Charles River]

Priscila Nieves - Be the biggest circle you can be!

[Jen Loong-Goodwin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hmm I read this on therapist’s recommendation…

… but it’s more a pamphlet / blog rather than a book. Concepts also basic and not so developed.

No wonder a lot of publishers no long reprint this…

[Kate Puleo Unger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy-to-read, insightful "business" book that can be applied to life for anyone. Key concepts = self-empowerment and building up yourself and others. I read this for a Managers Book Club at work.

[Allison Hull · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - easy read with common concepts. Good refresher for sure.

[JK · Rating 3 out of 5]

A leader in my field recommended this book to me, sharing that his organization was using it to help with organizational change. At first glance, it looks like a children's book--short with illustrations--and it offers basic, powerful ideas connected to self-empowerment and empowering others. I appreciated the "nibble theory" idea. In my own words, power is a resource that we can cultivate in others without diminishing our own, and yet many feel compelled to undercut those who are growing as if it is a scarce resource. Embrace the idea that we are all in the process of developing. The metaphor rang true to me, and I plan to recommend the first section to others.

I had difficulty with the second big idea, the "kernel of power." It just didn't hold up as well for me. I fully embrace identifying and building on strengths, but the writing in this section--or maybe the format itself--didn't resonate for me for this content as well as the first part of the book.

Caveat: it's difficult to ignore the results of the 2016 US election in context of self-empowerment and leadership (the topics of this book). And, in case it wasn't already on my mind, near the end of the book is this: "Everybody has seen what happens when an ordinary person takes on a title or an office. When a new president is inaugurated, he takes on the awe and respect of his office and begins to act like a president. Ordinary men (and I would certainly hope, one day, ordinary women)...lose their old roles and become the president." This book was written in 1984. I can't help but wonder how she may revise the book if she were alive today.

[Akanke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this book and found it to be a quick read. It is clear and concise with practical examples of how anyone can improve their interactions with others and learn more about their own personal strengths. The quote below sums up the entire framework of the 'The Nibble Theory and the Kernel of Power'.

"Many of us, unless we're famous, discount the importance of what's happening in our worlds. And that to me, is another way of diminishing ourselves. Suppose Thomas Edison had listened to people who thought he was just a crazy inventor for experimenting with five hundred filament materials before he found the carbon filament that would keep his light bulb burning, and light up the world. Suppose Dr. William Thomas Morton had listened when the entire medical profession laughed long and hard about his experiments with ether for anesthesia. What will be lost if you let someone nibble away at your attempts to grow?"

[Scot Berkey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did you ever wonder why at the end of the day or week you feel drained or as though you had just fought a big fight, but you can't point at exactly anything that happened that would put you in that mindset? Do you want to learn more about behavior to help you and your team's overall effectiveness grow? Do you want to be a better friend or just be more self-aware? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this is a fun little book. You will recognize behavior in others, and probably also in yourself, that feeds these issues, and by becoming just a little more self-aware, you will be able to begin to eliminate your own participation in the games that can lead to a downward emotional spiral. This book is light reading, and will not take too long to finish, but it is well worth the time to read.

[Colleen McIntyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great easy read.. A very simple principal with a broad application. Great imagery that can be easily translated to explain sometime we are in power, sometimes we are not- but no matter what position we find ourselves we can make a choice to treat the other with respect. Nothing new in this one, but always a great reminder..

[Michelle Beese · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth a second read! Took me less than an hour and there are many delighful kernels to nibble on while reading! I ordered 12 of the updated copies for Christmas presents!!!! Loved this book even more the second time around!

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

My father first gave me this simple little book back in 1996 - a year after high school. Every so often I read it again because the leadership concepts are timeless, and it still really speaks to me on a fundamental level about personal growth and self-empowerment.

[Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple and surprisingly profound. The Nibble Theory will resonate with anyone who has experienced organizational competitiveness and the subtle ways that people limit us and we limit ourselves. The Kernel of Power helped me to really think about what I'm on Earth to do with my life.

[P.J. LaRue · Rating 4 out of 5]

The concepts were simple, yet we often have a hard time applying them to our own lives. Don't allow others to hurt you in order to make themselves feel better. Push yourself to grow in healthy ways. Helping others to grow makes everyone better. It doesn't minimize one person to maximize another.

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short read that’s spareness gives it power. Interesting take on interpersonal dynamics and fostering growth in yourself and others. I wasn’t convinced by the second half’s focus on strengths as innate (versus learned “skills”), but it has some thoughtful insights throughout.

[Heather Wildrick holman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

[Audrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kudos to Kameel Jamison's creative approach to workplace self-empowerment and inclusion.

[Marianne Mullen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an easy read and very entertaining.