What do you think?
Rate this book
The New Peoplemaking
Revised and expanded seminal work on families, with more than a million copies sold in 12 languages. The New Peoplemaking expresses Satir's most evolved thoughts on self-worth, communication, family systems, and the ways in which people relate to one another. Drawn on Satir's lifetime of experience with thousands of families around the world, it is written in the engaging style for which she is famous. The New Peoplemaking is completely revised and enlarged by six new chapters that elaborate on the whole of life.
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
138 people are currently reading
2412 people want to read
About the author
Virginia Satir
88 books218 followersVirginia Satir (1916 – 1988) was an American author and psychotherapist, known especially for her approach to family therapy and her work with Systemic Constellations. She is widely regarded as the "Mother of Family Therapy" Her most well-known books are Conjoint Family Therapy, 1964, Peoplemaking, 1972, and The New Peoplemaking, 1988.
She is also known for creating the Virginia Satir Change Process Model, a psychological model developed through clinical studies. Change management and organizational gurus of the 1990s and 2000s embrace this model to define how change impacts organizations.
She is also known for creating the Virginia Satir Change Process Model, a psychological model developed through clinical studies. Change management and organizational gurus of the 1990s and 2000s embrace this model to define how change impacts organizations.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
April 14, 2009
NLP is well known amongst those searching for quick-fix psychology. What is less well known is that Virginia Satir was one of the brilliant psychologists who inspired the founders of the NLP approach. Her work on family therapy has hardly been surpassed.
In my work I often refer to her idea of "the pot of goodwill"; she applied this to families she worked with. If the pot was well filled, then a family would have a chance of healing no matter how difficult the problems they faced. The same is true of organisations and teams; if the pot of good will is low then interventions tend not to work. Do look at her typology of the four ways we survive in our families of origin: as Placaters, Blamers, Computers or Distracters. Most people find which they are just by reading the descriptions - a real ah ha moment. (Me, I'm a Placater - just restore the peace please!)
In my work I often refer to her idea of "the pot of goodwill"; she applied this to families she worked with. If the pot was well filled, then a family would have a chance of healing no matter how difficult the problems they faced. The same is true of organisations and teams; if the pot of good will is low then interventions tend not to work. Do look at her typology of the four ways we survive in our families of origin: as Placaters, Blamers, Computers or Distracters. Most people find which they are just by reading the descriptions - a real ah ha moment. (Me, I'm a Placater - just restore the peace please!)
November 21, 2020
Cartea aceasta trebuie citită de câți mai mulți cititori. Nu știu ce am așteptat eu până acum. Satir scrie cu atâta empatie și înțelegere, încât e imposibil să te plictisească această lucrare. Eu cred în entitatea și rolul familiei în societate, cred în rolul fiecărui membru al familiei, cred în integritatea și rolul fiecărui om în această lume.
E foarte important să avem și dacă nu avem, să ne construim o stimă de sine care să ne călăuzească spre o viață armonioasă și echilibrată cu noi înșiși și cu cei din jur. Comunicarea e cheia tuturor provocărilor în această viață, dacă am ști să comunicăm corect unul cu altul nu am avea atâtea dispute și neînțelegeri, asta pe lângă toate provocările pe care le avem dezvoltându-ne, crescând, educând și încercând să trăim o viață fericită și împlinită.
Trebuie să citiți această carte, trebuie.
E foarte important să avem și dacă nu avem, să ne construim o stimă de sine care să ne călăuzească spre o viață armonioasă și echilibrată cu noi înșiși și cu cei din jur. Comunicarea e cheia tuturor provocărilor în această viață, dacă am ști să comunicăm corect unul cu altul nu am avea atâtea dispute și neînțelegeri, asta pe lângă toate provocările pe care le avem dezvoltându-ne, crescând, educând și încercând să trăim o viață fericită și împlinită.
Trebuie să citiți această carte, trebuie.
December 25, 2010
Just as I believe that everyone can get something out of therapy, I believe all family constructs could get something out of family therapy, aka. this book. I read this very slowly, savoring each chapter and trying to learn from it. She comes up with some great games to assist with applying the knowledge. I guess my favorite chapter is the one on communication. I enjoyed thinking about the four ways people handle negative results of stress. Placating, Blaming, Computing, Distracting.
I love that she doesn't put down how people construct their lives, but rather challenges them to analyze what the benefit is of being that way. It is the idea that there is no good and evil, only actions and consequences. When you deal with the world and life in its reality and truth, everything is typically more pleasant and manageable.
Some of my favorite quotes from it:
"No one can feel self-worth who feels she or he came from devils and bad people"
"The Difference between the issue in question and the sense of self-worth around the issue is worth learning."
"Realizing that people seldom achieve perfection in their pursuits, and that few people behave destructively by design."
I love that she doesn't put down how people construct their lives, but rather challenges them to analyze what the benefit is of being that way. It is the idea that there is no good and evil, only actions and consequences. When you deal with the world and life in its reality and truth, everything is typically more pleasant and manageable.
Some of my favorite quotes from it:
"No one can feel self-worth who feels she or he came from devils and bad people"
"The Difference between the issue in question and the sense of self-worth around the issue is worth learning."
"Realizing that people seldom achieve perfection in their pursuits, and that few people behave destructively by design."
September 11, 2013
Have you ever been told that something was wrong with you because you were different? But being different is not valid critique. You're supposed to be different. Virginia Satir would say so. Satir, family therapist, remind us that "It is in honoring all parts of ourselves and being free to accept those parts that we lay the groundwork for high self-esteem. To do otherwise is to thwart nature."
I'm quiet and wishy-washy, whereas, you might be bold and self-assured. Either of us can be abused, told we should fall in line with the world as they see it. But wait a minute. We are the world. Shouldn't we be the world as it is meant to be, not the world that we fear that is? We can tell each other that we are valuable, that our perspectives have meaning. We can see that variety is normalcy.
Life is about learning to exist together, without compromising our own uniqueness. It's about building each other up, helping each other become the best versions of ourselves that we can. If you like this line of thought, I would highly recommend The New Peoplemaking. Satir shows how we can appreciate each other, peacefully co-exist, and how to create a nurturing environment within a family. Highly practical and insightful book.
I'm quiet and wishy-washy, whereas, you might be bold and self-assured. Either of us can be abused, told we should fall in line with the world as they see it. But wait a minute. We are the world. Shouldn't we be the world as it is meant to be, not the world that we fear that is? We can tell each other that we are valuable, that our perspectives have meaning. We can see that variety is normalcy.
Life is about learning to exist together, without compromising our own uniqueness. It's about building each other up, helping each other become the best versions of ourselves that we can. If you like this line of thought, I would highly recommend The New Peoplemaking. Satir shows how we can appreciate each other, peacefully co-exist, and how to create a nurturing environment within a family. Highly practical and insightful book.
August 24, 2019
Πρόκειται για ενα εξαιρετικό βιβλιο που δεν πραγματεύεται απλως το πως να μεγαλώσεις ψυχικά ισσοροπημενα παιδια αλλα και πως θα βελτιώσεις τον εαυτο σου.Εμεις οι άνθρωποι έχουμε πολλούς "δαίμονες "που φοβόμαστε να αντιμετωπίσουμε έχοντας ως αποτέλεσμα την ψυχοσυναισθηματική μας επιβάρυνση.Το συγκεκριμένο βιβλιο μεσα απο παραδείγματα και πρακτικές σε βοηθαει να μπορέσεις να απελευθερωθεις απο τα δεσμά σου και να επικοινωνήσεις πραγματικά με την οικογενεια σου.Στοχος του φυσικά ειναι να σε βοηθήσει να φτάσεις λιγο πιο κοντά στην αυτοπραγμάτωση σου.Το προτείνω σε όλους!
January 23, 2022
“The family is a microcosm of the world.”
Virginia Satir is considered the “mother of family therapy” for a reason. I have treasured reading “The New Peoplemaking.” In it, she addresses a whole of issues, such as equality, aging, and spirituality, using the family system as a foundation.
Although written almost forty years ago, this book is timeless.
Virginia Satir is considered the “mother of family therapy” for a reason. I have treasured reading “The New Peoplemaking.” In it, she addresses a whole of issues, such as equality, aging, and spirituality, using the family system as a foundation.
Although written almost forty years ago, this book is timeless.
December 14, 2023
Pentru cand a fost scrisă, mi se pare extrem de actuala. Nu am aflat informații noi, dar la vremea ei îmi imaginez ca a fost mindblowing.
Read
March 11, 2017I hate writing in books. I underlined and starred and <3-ed all over this book despite its tendency towards misogyny. There are parts which are obvious and parts that are stereotypical and gender biased but she has tools for communication and understanding, including exercises to do together. The parts I highlighted are not on every page or in every chapter but scattered throughout the book. It's written in 1988 so she seems to have her own view of what a male is and what a female is. Taking that into consideration, you can see how her ideas are based on a traditional m-f household and those traditional roles. Some of it comes across as really weird to me. (p. 257 - "If you, as a woman, do not appreciate and find joy and pleasure in your husband's body, how can you teach your daughter an appreciation of men?"). Despite some of the outdated ideas in the book, she has some good information about relationships and psychological exercises for bonding. If you want to read it, I wouldn't buy the book. Some parts may make you angry because of the way she depicts women also.
p. 100 - "It would seem we are a bunch of emotional crooks, hiding ourselves, playing dangerous games with one another, and calling it society".
p. 107 "Bitchiness properly nurtured turns into healthy assertion, which all people need".
"Developing your tenderness does not have to eradicate your toughness".
p. 220 "If we get introduced to our ignorance, isn't that something worth celebrating?"
p. 264 - "Many people fear so much that they die a little every day".
p. 268 - "What can you do to keep alive a spirit of curiosity and imagination, to stimulate a search for making new meaning, to find new uses for things already known, and to probe into the unknown for things not yet known? ... The world is filled with much to wonder about, to be awestruck by, to explore, and to be challenged by. Dreams occur in the present. ...Some part of almost any dream can be realized now".
p. 372 - "Until a strong force emerges for positive change, society will remain as it is. We are all members of society and have the power to change it if we choose. Each of us can make a difference".
p. 142 --She quotes this to show a description of love and marriage. She says "Truly loving means I put no strings on you nor accept them from you. Each person's integrity is respected". Example -----> "Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
p. 100 - "It would seem we are a bunch of emotional crooks, hiding ourselves, playing dangerous games with one another, and calling it society".
p. 107 "Bitchiness properly nurtured turns into healthy assertion, which all people need".
"Developing your tenderness does not have to eradicate your toughness".
p. 220 "If we get introduced to our ignorance, isn't that something worth celebrating?"
p. 264 - "Many people fear so much that they die a little every day".
p. 268 - "What can you do to keep alive a spirit of curiosity and imagination, to stimulate a search for making new meaning, to find new uses for things already known, and to probe into the unknown for things not yet known? ... The world is filled with much to wonder about, to be awestruck by, to explore, and to be challenged by. Dreams occur in the present. ...Some part of almost any dream can be realized now".
p. 372 - "Until a strong force emerges for positive change, society will remain as it is. We are all members of society and have the power to change it if we choose. Each of us can make a difference".
p. 142 --She quotes this to show a description of love and marriage. She says "Truly loving means I put no strings on you nor accept them from you. Each person's integrity is respected". Example -----> "Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
January 31, 2021
This book provides a long list of examples of how people came to be how they are.
Emotional expressions. Personalities.
Made me realize how my family functions could relate to so many others. Not all family knows how to appropriately operate.
Issues such as the way parents communicate with their children.
How it affects a child within the subconscious mind and structured a way of false or miscommunication in the relationship dynamic.
Extended family issues; learning from Satir's perspective. Seeing it from the core reason of how my resentment with my extended family members developed.
She offered how to look pass those resentments and heal the interactions.
Breaking down the false labels we think each role should play that was attached to each family member.
Mutual Communication & Commection is a very important practice indeed.
Emotional expressions. Personalities.
Made me realize how my family functions could relate to so many others. Not all family knows how to appropriately operate.
Issues such as the way parents communicate with their children.
How it affects a child within the subconscious mind and structured a way of false or miscommunication in the relationship dynamic.
Extended family issues; learning from Satir's perspective. Seeing it from the core reason of how my resentment with my extended family members developed.
She offered how to look pass those resentments and heal the interactions.
Breaking down the false labels we think each role should play that was attached to each family member.
Mutual Communication & Commection is a very important practice indeed.
March 8, 2009
Just finished reading this book and found it very informative and
reassuring. Satir writes with deep compassion and includes several examples from her own life. Her thoughts on self-worth, communication, family systems, and the ways in which people relate to one another helps the reader understand where conflict begins (family relations).
reassuring. Satir writes with deep compassion and includes several examples from her own life. Her thoughts on self-worth, communication, family systems, and the ways in which people relate to one another helps the reader understand where conflict begins (family relations).
March 4, 2011
Great book on how to better relate to people, recognise & avoid communication traps & have better relationships.
March 3, 2019
basic book of human interaciton and family relationship.
i want to read many times.
i want to read many times.
Read
September 15, 2021I picked up The New Peoplemaking not because I wanted to continue delving into family systems but instead because that Virginia Satir’s work is often used as a model for change. I have no problems with the fact that her change theories were based on changing the family systems of her clients and many of the applications that we speak of for the model are designed for corporate use instead. While the book doesn’t fully enumerate Satir’s model for changing family systems, it does illuminate some of the powerful forces that shape families and clearly communicates Satir’s respect for those people who bravely pursue the process of having children – and therefore people-making.
Read more
Read more
September 14, 2017
Öncelikle Virginia Satir 'ı 'Yaşantısal Aile Terapisi'nin kurucusu olarak tanıdım ve kuramı,düşünceleri,yaklaşımı hakkında bir önbilgim var idi.Ancak bu kitabı okumamla beraber gerçekten çok fazla şey öğrendiğimi hissettim.Çok fazla cümlenin altını çizdim ,birçok sayfaya işaret koydum.Üstelik kitabın en harika cümlelerini içeren 'Benim Özdeğer Bildirgem'kısmını da çalışma masamın tam karşısına astım.
Eğer psikolojiye ,özellikle de aile terapisine,ilginiz var ise okumanızı şiddetle tavsiye ederim.Satir kitabını ,yıllar içinde kazandığı tecrübelerin,i birebir kendi ağzından sizlere öğüt verircesine anlatıyor.
Eğer psikolojiye ,özellikle de aile terapisine,ilginiz var ise okumanızı şiddetle tavsiye ederim.Satir kitabını ,yıllar içinde kazandığı tecrübelerin,i birebir kendi ağzından sizlere öğüt verircesine anlatıyor.
September 2, 2025
Terapist olmak isteyen veya olan insanların kitaptan çıkarması gereken dersler:
- Her şeyin başı aile. Bireyin özdeğeri ailesinden gördükleri ile şekilleniyor.
- Aile üyelerini birey olarak duyduğunu ve anladığını hissettirin. Zaman zaman aile içindeki rollerde kendilerini kaybediyorlar.
- Tartışmaların çoğu yanlış anlaşılmalardan, dolaylı ve belirsiz iletişimden kaynaklanıyor. Terapi odası sağlıksız iletişim kalıplarını fark etmeleri ve değiştirmeleri için ortam yaratır.
- Toplumun belirli yaş kesimlerinden, cinsiyetlerden beklentileri kişiyi kısıtlar, aileyi mutsuz eder. Seçenekleri olduğunu fark ettirin. Aile üyeleri bir araya gelmeyi zorunluluk olarak görmemeli.
- Her şeyin başı aile. Bireyin özdeğeri ailesinden gördükleri ile şekilleniyor.
- Aile üyelerini birey olarak duyduğunu ve anladığını hissettirin. Zaman zaman aile içindeki rollerde kendilerini kaybediyorlar.
- Tartışmaların çoğu yanlış anlaşılmalardan, dolaylı ve belirsiz iletişimden kaynaklanıyor. Terapi odası sağlıksız iletişim kalıplarını fark etmeleri ve değiştirmeleri için ortam yaratır.
- Toplumun belirli yaş kesimlerinden, cinsiyetlerden beklentileri kişiyi kısıtlar, aileyi mutsuz eder. Seçenekleri olduğunu fark ettirin. Aile üyeleri bir araya gelmeyi zorunluluk olarak görmemeli.
January 6, 2022
This book was highly recommend in another, so I got a used copy. I knew it was old but a lot of the advice still holds. Her opening, written in 1988 talks of nuclear war and how we are in difficult times, which struck me as true still in the Covid-19 pandemic. It’s a good introductory book for family relationships but I was hoping for something a bit deeper. But I liked her writing style and appreciated her wisdom so it did consolidate some ideas for me.
July 5, 2022
De los pocos libros que me ha costado mucho trabajo terminar. Hay capítulos donde están duras las indirectas, otros aburridos ya que a mi gusto exagera de ejemplos y ejercicios, y otros con información interesante; pero tomemos en cuenta que la primera edición es del año 1988, por lo que el concepto de familia que tiene el libro es muy diferente a muchas familias en la actualidad.
Si eres maestro, terapeuta, padre de familia dale una oportunidad.
Si eres maestro, terapeuta, padre de familia dale una oportunidad.
October 11, 2025
3.75 I love Virginia Satir’s philosophy and interventions as a whole. I enjoyed the majority of this book and found some lessons and activities to take with me in my practice. Towards the end, I did not feel connected to the book and because of that, I put off finishing it. Overall though, this is a very palatable book for clinicians or family members to increase self-esteem and congruence between family members!
March 20, 2020
Sobre esta edición, tiene una traducción terrible, hay palabras que parece que se deben desencriptar.
Sobre la obra, material muy apropiado para las personas que deseen prepararse para la vida familiar, sobre todo para entender que las personas pueden aprender y cambiar
Sobre la obra, material muy apropiado para las personas que deseen prepararse para la vida familiar, sobre todo para entender que las personas pueden aprender y cambiar
March 23, 2020
This is one that helps make sense of one’s own family of origin as well as look toward the future of what you’re capable of creating in your own family. I’ll return to it again and again in future years, I’m sure!
August 14, 2021
Enjoyed reading it so much! All the examples and exercises are well-written and they are great ar providing at shifting your perspective. To me, this book seems to be the kind you can refer to from time to time, in order to freshen up you psyche and overall enjoy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 27, 2018
Aile terapisti hareketinin anası olarak görülen Virginia Satir’in enfes kitabı❤️ İçeriğinde uygulanabilir ve faydalanılabilir tavsiyeler barındıran kitapları seviyorum. Bu da öyle işte...
April 20, 2021
Vital. Discovering her has both informed and validated the way that I feel best called to practice therapy.
April 26, 2021
Great overview for families. Not particularly helpful to understand the Experiential model of therapy
August 23, 2021
Good book!
February 23, 2024
The child come when he/she comes, he/she doesn't wait for the parents to be ready.
September 9, 2024
Foundational must Read
For any Practitioner Who helps People
For any Practitioner Who helps People
May 21, 2025
Adore this book. It’s educational and funny and approachable ❤️
June 19, 2025
Dated, but still fabulous 35+ years after publication.
November 15, 2014
Virginia Satir influenced the founders of Neurolinguistic Programming; Richard Bandler and John Grinder so I was interested to explore the links. I was surprised to find out that Virginia pioneered family therapy. Prompted by her own childhood, very early on in her life she decided that she wanted to be a children's detective on parents! Her work deeply examines the way in which our families influence our feelings and behaviour. After working with countless families she suggests that each one can be placed on a continuum ranging from troubled to nurturing. believe this book would have hints for everyone. The examples provided from her clinical practice clearly demonstrate how dysfunctional families can be but at no time does she berate the reader. She is kind and affirming and recognises that most of us are just doing our best but following faulty blueprints that were laid down by our parents.
Her basic message is that "a strong link exists between life in the family and the kind of adults that that family's children become". Believing that society needs congruent people (people who live harmoniously and without conflict, Satir suggests that educating families can make a real difference. The main difference would be developing high self-esteem in individuals as this is something that many families are unable to foster in themselves or their children. The consequences of low self-esteem are dramatic.
"Self-esteem is the ability to value one's self and to treat oneself with dignity, love and reality... When people feel they have little worth, they expect to be cheated, stepped on, and depreciated by others. This opens the way to becoming a victim"
"When one cares for oneself, one will not do anything to injure, degrade, humiliate, or otherwise destroy oneself or another, and will not hold others responsible for one's actions".
Learning to communicate our feelings is an important aspect of being a nurturing family. We must not assume that others know how we feel or assume we are privy to others' feelings.
Recognising how our upbringing has shaped us is essential but "changing the models derived from one's early past is often difficult. It is like breaking a long established habit" Sometimes we require a crisis in our lives to both recognise and change our patterns of behaviour but it is simple really. "Life is your current view of things; change your view, and you change your life". This is a clear link to NLP. Therefore, if a crisis introduces us to our ignorance of ourselves we should celebrate this opportunity to learn.
Her basic message is that "a strong link exists between life in the family and the kind of adults that that family's children become". Believing that society needs congruent people (people who live harmoniously and without conflict, Satir suggests that educating families can make a real difference. The main difference would be developing high self-esteem in individuals as this is something that many families are unable to foster in themselves or their children. The consequences of low self-esteem are dramatic.
"Self-esteem is the ability to value one's self and to treat oneself with dignity, love and reality... When people feel they have little worth, they expect to be cheated, stepped on, and depreciated by others. This opens the way to becoming a victim"
"When one cares for oneself, one will not do anything to injure, degrade, humiliate, or otherwise destroy oneself or another, and will not hold others responsible for one's actions".
Learning to communicate our feelings is an important aspect of being a nurturing family. We must not assume that others know how we feel or assume we are privy to others' feelings.
Recognising how our upbringing has shaped us is essential but "changing the models derived from one's early past is often difficult. It is like breaking a long established habit" Sometimes we require a crisis in our lives to both recognise and change our patterns of behaviour but it is simple really. "Life is your current view of things; change your view, and you change your life". This is a clear link to NLP. Therefore, if a crisis introduces us to our ignorance of ourselves we should celebrate this opportunity to learn.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews