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As We Speak: How to Make your Point and Have It Stick
The world is full of brilliant people whose ideas are never heard. This book is designed to make sure that you’re not one of them. Even for the most self-confident among us, public speaking can be a nerve-racking ordeal. Whether we are speaking to a large audience, within a group, or in a one-on-one conversation, the way in which we communicate ideas, as much as the ideas themselves, can determine success or failure. In this invaluable guide by two of today’s most sought-after communication experts, Peter Meyers and Shann Nix offer a comprehensive approach for tackling the underlying obstacles that almost all of us experience when faced with speaking in public. In As We Speak, you’ll learn to master the three building blocks at the core of their Organize the information you want to convey and construct a clear and lucid architecture of ideas that will lead your listener through a memorable emotional experience. Use your body, voice, eyes, and hands in ways that engage your audience and naturally support your message. Bring yourself into peak performance condition. Your state is the way you feel when you perform, and it is both the most powerful and most frequently overlooked component of communication. Meyers and Nix show how to apply these principles in a wide variety of situations. You’ll learn how to handle difficult face-to-face conversations with colleagues, friends, and family; how to make the best use of e-mail, phone, video conference, and other technology; and how to communicate in a crisis, when all eyes are on you and emotions are running high. Meyers and Nix also emphasize that effective communication is impossible without first becoming aware of your own true goals and personal beliefs, and they offer helpful tools and exercises that will lead you to greater clarity and self-knowledge. Accessible, inspiring, and laden with useful tips, As We Speak will help you discover your authentic voice and learn to convey your ideas in the most powerful and memorable way possible.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published December 14, 2010
119 people are currently reading
714 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
October 26, 2017
You don't get confidence. It's not something you go out and acquire. And nobody can give you confidence. Confidence comes from challenging yourself to do difficult things, and coming out the other side. It comes from accumulating a series of victories, both large and small. Having the right knowledge and the right skills, at the right time, is absolutely essential. But your fears can only be conquered by doing the thing you fear the most, getting it right, and demonstrating to yourself that you can overcome it. [p6]
Master Tips:
- Get the I:You Ratio Right. Use ten "you's" for every "I"
- The 7second rule. You have only 7 seconds in which the audience decides whether or not they're going to pay attention. Open with something meaningful and nourishing that shows you understand your listener and are there to help.
- Open with the word "you", use a powerful statistic, ask a question, shock them, make a confession, use the word "imagine", use a powerful anecdote, tell a story
Sticky ideas: Simplicity, Unexpectedness, Concreteness, Credibility, Emotions, and Stories
Use metaphors, but avoid cliches - they will hurt more than help you. A good metaphor will spin out even more implications than you originally spotted; an excellent metaphor will actually supercharge your presentation by suggesting additional possibilities" [p86]
Q&A - prepare 10 questions the audience is most likely to ask, and 10 questions that you most dread. If there are no questions, ask one yourself that you have prepared ahead of time.
Master tip:
- the only way to influence someone is to speak to his needs
- As a rule, never talk for more than four sentence without stopping and getting a response from the other person.
Rules for email:
- Give the reader a way in: open with why this email is important to the reader
- Beware of I-itis: follow the same I:you ratio!
- Put your emails on a diet: cut in half your first draft
- Limit yourself to one subject per email
- Include all the necessary information in your email
- Do the "NY Times" rule
- Use italics or bold for emphasis
"asking for dumb ideas creates the safety that allows good ideas to emerge" [p247]
"Being in service to someone else solves your biggest problem - your self-consciousness. Get rid of your self-consciousness and everything else - your hands, eyes, body, voice, content, ideas, and delivery - all fall into line, in a magical virtuous spiral that will take you to levels of peak performance that you never imagined possible. When you stop worrying about what they think of you, and concern yourself with what you can bring to them, then any tendency you might have toward inauthenticity, charlatanism, or spin will drop away." [p254]
Master Tips:
- Get the I:You Ratio Right. Use ten "you's" for every "I"
- The 7second rule. You have only 7 seconds in which the audience decides whether or not they're going to pay attention. Open with something meaningful and nourishing that shows you understand your listener and are there to help.
- Open with the word "you", use a powerful statistic, ask a question, shock them, make a confession, use the word "imagine", use a powerful anecdote, tell a story
Sticky ideas: Simplicity, Unexpectedness, Concreteness, Credibility, Emotions, and Stories
Use metaphors, but avoid cliches - they will hurt more than help you. A good metaphor will spin out even more implications than you originally spotted; an excellent metaphor will actually supercharge your presentation by suggesting additional possibilities" [p86]
Q&A - prepare 10 questions the audience is most likely to ask, and 10 questions that you most dread. If there are no questions, ask one yourself that you have prepared ahead of time.
Master tip:
- the only way to influence someone is to speak to his needs
- As a rule, never talk for more than four sentence without stopping and getting a response from the other person.
Rules for email:
- Give the reader a way in: open with why this email is important to the reader
- Beware of I-itis: follow the same I:you ratio!
- Put your emails on a diet: cut in half your first draft
- Limit yourself to one subject per email
- Include all the necessary information in your email
- Do the "NY Times" rule
- Use italics or bold for emphasis
"asking for dumb ideas creates the safety that allows good ideas to emerge" [p247]
"Being in service to someone else solves your biggest problem - your self-consciousness. Get rid of your self-consciousness and everything else - your hands, eyes, body, voice, content, ideas, and delivery - all fall into line, in a magical virtuous spiral that will take you to levels of peak performance that you never imagined possible. When you stop worrying about what they think of you, and concern yourself with what you can bring to them, then any tendency you might have toward inauthenticity, charlatanism, or spin will drop away." [p254]
January 21, 2013
This book had some interesting information about how content, delivery, and body language fit together when we communicate. It could prove beneficial to people who have to speak to large crowds or lead a business meeting.
December 24, 2018
No self-help book has done more to help me than this one. I realized I was walking into way too many conversations under-prepared. Incredible what a difference it can make to game plan a little from your audiences perspective. Doesn’t have to be for a big speech, can be for any interaction.
July 5, 2021
This is a pretty good intermediate book on public speaking. It has too much detail for beginners.
November 27, 2023
What an amazing and brilliant collection of inspiration, ideas, experiences and tips on how to speak with people in a way that has a higher impact on them. And ultimately on yourself.
I highly recommend As We Speak to everyone who values personal development, respects the people they interact with (both private and for business) as well as who always wanted to get a detailed yet compact compendium of things to consider when giving speeches.
In short - brilliant read! And especially the audio book version, narrated by one of the two authors himself. And boy, has he a great way of speaking and articulating their joint thoughts! I'll definitely read this one again. And again. (actually have already started the second time after finishing in a very short time frame)
I highly recommend As We Speak to everyone who values personal development, respects the people they interact with (both private and for business) as well as who always wanted to get a detailed yet compact compendium of things to consider when giving speeches.
In short - brilliant read! And especially the audio book version, narrated by one of the two authors himself. And boy, has he a great way of speaking and articulating their joint thoughts! I'll definitely read this one again. And again. (actually have already started the second time after finishing in a very short time frame)
December 23, 2020
Great stuff. Everything from hints and tips to prepare your content to your attitude and vision for all manner of communication. In this day and age, where every job, every facet of life is about constant always-on communications Meyers and Nix have a plan. Really looking forward to putting this all - what seems incredibly sensible and straightforward - advice into practice through the coming months and years.
November 26, 2020
There's good stuff in here, especially on delivery. The suggestions for constructing a speech are so simple as to be unhelpful. The best way to think about ending a speech is not "dessert." Overall, you could do worse, but the book in the end is uneven and full of misleading ideas because they are dumbed down to be catchy or simple.
May 22, 2022
This book was recommended to me to prepare for a presentation I was invited to give at an industry conference. Thank God it was recommended; as I practiced my presentation, I kept these tips in mind and wrestled my anxiety. Now I feel more confident in my ability to give my presentation with less fear.
June 10, 2024
Had to read this book for work, and it was great - and the audiobook narrator is phenomenal. I actually felt like someone was talking to me. Great balance of content focused on preparing for presentations / meetings, various elements of giving formal presentations, and elements of less formal conversations and interactions. I’ll reference in the future.
January 23, 2020
I enjoyed the NLP section of the book where the book talked about managing your state(using your body, mind's eye, and beliefs) as a speaker. I highly recommend this book to those who desire to express their voice and prevent the amygdala hijack the book talks about. A really good book!
June 29, 2022
A great guide to enable your words to make a larger impact. At various points I implemented the strategies recommended, live in a call, and each time it ended in the results that described in the book.
August 11, 2022
I attended a two-day coaching seminar from Stand & Deliver, and was given this book as part of that training.
The training focuses on how to have better conversations, how to be a better listener, and focus on your audience.
The training focuses on how to have better conversations, how to be a better listener, and focus on your audience.
February 8, 2023
Easy to read and relevant for beginners as Well as for advanced speakers.
Plan your communication and Goals. Have mind, delivery and state contribute to These Goals.
Last few Pages felt a bit Like "lets get it to over 200 Pages" but Overall a clear recommendation
Plan your communication and Goals. Have mind, delivery and state contribute to These Goals.
Last few Pages felt a bit Like "lets get it to over 200 Pages" but Overall a clear recommendation
December 23, 2019
This was a great read that changed my view of presenting and gave me a lot to think about.
February 2, 2023
Great book, nice tips if you want to make impact with your speech.
May 8, 2023
Excellent resource. Wish I had read it months ago, would have saved me hours of prep time for 2 presentations. Will keep it on my bookshelf for future use.
June 23, 2023
Insightful.
A worthy read for anyone wanting to improve their presence and voice in any public setting.
A worthy read for anyone wanting to improve their presence and voice in any public setting.
October 19, 2023
Tough read but super insightful and helpful. Took pages of notes
April 17, 2024
Had to read this for public speaking class. Good book
February 4, 2014
Rock-solid as a sweeping overview of techniques for successfully communicating across a variety of situations, including public speaking. There's also a lot of absolutely golden information in there on using simple acting techniques for improving presence, empathy, centeredness, confidence, and other preconditions for authentic connection.
If you're coming to it strictly for tips on becoming a better public speaker, you should find some great tools to help you, whether you have time to prep or are under the gun. The map for organizing information is as good as I've seen, and should be really easy to use (I haven't tried it myself, but I use a similar, if slightly less orderly, way of putting together my own talks.)
But because it's a survey course in communication, generally, you won't get the kind of detailed information you might be looking for if, say, you want a career in speaking, or to put together a killer PowerPoint deck. Which is fine, because nine times out of ten, you shouldn't be using PowerPoint (or even its much easier to use cousin, Keynote) at all. (For the former, I'd suggest Scott Berkun's excellent Confessions of a Public Speaker; for the latter, take a look at Nancy Duarte's or Garr Reynolds' books.)
If you're coming to it strictly for tips on becoming a better public speaker, you should find some great tools to help you, whether you have time to prep or are under the gun. The map for organizing information is as good as I've seen, and should be really easy to use (I haven't tried it myself, but I use a similar, if slightly less orderly, way of putting together my own talks.)
But because it's a survey course in communication, generally, you won't get the kind of detailed information you might be looking for if, say, you want a career in speaking, or to put together a killer PowerPoint deck. Which is fine, because nine times out of ten, you shouldn't be using PowerPoint (or even its much easier to use cousin, Keynote) at all. (For the former, I'd suggest Scott Berkun's excellent Confessions of a Public Speaker; for the latter, take a look at Nancy Duarte's or Garr Reynolds' books.)
March 14, 2012
This is one of the better books that I've read about public speaking.
I don't care for self-help on topics like this that are touchy - feely or inspirational or schmaltzy. Meyers' clinical, yet personal, tone gets right to business describing the three core building blocks of public speaking ( "content", "delivery", and "state"), and adds tips through out the book to summarize the key points of each unit.
I've taken more away from this book than I have in years of reading other books like it. Definitely recommended !
I don't care for self-help on topics like this that are touchy - feely or inspirational or schmaltzy. Meyers' clinical, yet personal, tone gets right to business describing the three core building blocks of public speaking ( "content", "delivery", and "state"), and adds tips through out the book to summarize the key points of each unit.
I've taken more away from this book than I have in years of reading other books like it. Definitely recommended !
November 19, 2014
This is one of the better books on public speaking and the main reason for that (besides the fact that it's well written) is because it's holistic in approach. The authors don't focus on presentation or content alone, but on every aspect that contributes to an effective presentation. The chapter on 'state' was one of my favorites and brought some new insights to the table. I recommend this book for anyone seeking tips and advice on public speaking.
January 4, 2017
The world is full of brilliant people whose ideas are never heard.
This book is designed to make sure you are not 1 of them!
After you finish this book, your presentations, your emails, your conference calls, ....., the way you talk (and write) will be changed forever.
The book is full of real life examples.
This book is designed to make sure you are not 1 of them!
After you finish this book, your presentations, your emails, your conference calls, ....., the way you talk (and write) will be changed forever.
The book is full of real life examples.
November 30, 2011
I found the book concentrated too much on getting over the fear of speaking rather than on delivering your message. The book was good, if that is the information you are after, but not what I thought the title and sub-title of book was offering.
September 26, 2011
I never took speech in college, so I was looking for some tips and tricks for public speaking. This book had tons of them. I'll probably have to read it again and take notes to really get the most out of it, but there is definitely some great advice in here for being a better speaker.
September 20, 2014
Outstanding book! I read it to prepare for a presentation. But the tips the authors provide are helpful for everyday communication too. I especially like their tips for ensuring that you do not freeze up in front of a crowd. I hope their advice works for my presentation!
January 14, 2024
Considering several months later I had to go find the book on my shelf to write this review, it didn't really stick much. But flipping through it it is nice and well laid out, so it would be a perfect book to revisit should I find myself needing the skills it contains.
October 23, 2011
I read a slew of self development books every year. Most don't really contain much new information but this one is one of my favorites so far. Definitely worth getting.
January 2, 2013
Posted my reading notes here: http://sten.tamkivi.com/2012/12/as-we...
July 16, 2014
Comprehensive and vividly informative with style. It's truly one of the best books ever written on public speaking and stage fright. A must-read book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews