Special Forces - Soldiers

Special Forces #1

by Aleksandr Voinov, Marquesate, Vashtan

Special Forces is the story of a Scottish SAS soldier and a Soviet spetsnaz soldier. Two enemies who meet in the line of duty during the early days of the Soviet Union's last war in Afghanistan. Behind enemy lines respect and finally love grow ... but that's only the official version. This epic spans across over twenty-five years of their lives. It's harsh and violent, but life is cruel and they just do what they need to survive.

Special Forces - Soldiers is the first cycle of the Special Forces epic, which consists of three cycles and is about a million words. The second cycle is Mercenaries and the third one is Veterans.

This print version is the original version of Special Forces (1st edition), as it was edited by the authors of the time of first publication on Marquesate’s website. The Soldiers cycle was published between July 2006 and March 2007. This is the only version that is authorised by Marquesate.

The ebook version is available for free download, and the original chapters remain as a free read on Marquesate’s website below:

This print version of Special Forces is strictly non-profit and print cost only. The paperback of this original version is available from Lulu.

Genres: M M Romance, Military Fiction, Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Dark, BDSM, Erotica

559 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

https://aleksandrvoinov.substack.com/

Reviews

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+Stars.Loved it.

BR with Andrea.









I really have no words to describe how amazing this book is.The story of two men on opposing sides opens with a harrowing scene.
The story here spans over 9 years(my favourite thing) and takes place during the Soviet War in Afghanistan.One of the things I was worried about was the war element but it was extremely well written,not overdone with just the right amount of detail needed for the story.

My emotions were all over the place reading this.It's gritty,violent,hard hitting,very difficult to read at times but in the end a deep,all consuming love between two men.The final chapter was so beautiful....the words,the emotions and the uncertain future for them had me in tears.

Highly recommend.

[Shile (Hazard's Version) on-hiatus · Rating 5 out of 5]

RE-Read Jan 2019

Buddy read with these awesome ladies! Jan, Judith, Moony and Xia

Location: 13768

Story: EPIC

Dan and Vadim! Vadim and Dam!



5 +++++++ Aye, My Cunt, My Russkie stars



I enjoyed reading this amazing story, where the word cunt is actually an endearment. These authors sucked me in.

“You...” just you, always you. My Russian cunt, my enemy, my comrade, my prisoner, my gaoler and my life. Words, unthinking. “Love...you.”

Vadim and Dan's story is epic. The chemistry between these two was off the charts . They met in 1980 under very awful circumstances, from there an epic journey of hate and unconditional love that spans over 9 years begins. The enemies to lovers transition was very believable and enjoyable to read and well written.

I went through all emotions in the beginning, I hated Vadim wanted to skin him alive then that changed, I grew to love him and just like Dan he became special to me. I felt sorry for him especially when he was being tortured by Dan. Vadim is forever my book boyfriend. I love Dan but Vadim has a special place in my heart.

First i was like: no! i can't love him! he is a bad guy, we hate bad guys!

Then the authors were like: Wait! you just wait! you are going to love him!

Then i was like:



Then, they made me all hurt, gushy and mellow inside!

You fucking scared me. I can’t deal with the fear. Not like that. Not like you tortured me in the mountains. Can’t forget it, will never forget it. You damn near broke me with that. Without actually beating me up, no blood, just...fucked my mind.



Dan! aye was a complicated character it took time for me to warm up to him but I eventually did, i love him more the second time around. His love for Vadim was true and unconditional and I loved how he came to terms with him being gay, it was actually funny. His love and description for the Afghan mountains, made me feel like it was my home too.



Dan’s grin turned the shadows into a play of fire, catching on rows of teeth. “You’re a fucking creep, Russkie, with strange eyes, pale as those glaciers around here; " Shit. He was a goddamned fucking fag and he loved it. If cock-sucking-tasting-swallowing was what being a fag was all about, he wanted nothing but to be a fucking fag, with a five-star rating.

There were some moments in this book that were ugly crying moments. When Vadim found Dan helpless, and When Dan found Vadim injured, Gahhh! these two fools melted my heart. The way they took care of each other, that Fisting scene though! Hmm! still not sure about it.

Dan twitched, his head jerking, moaned at a pain that was somewhere other than inside his body. He craned his neck, so close to the other’s body, the heat was everywhere. “Don’t let them take me.”

Their first Kiss! That kiss was everything.. I melted.... Gaah!

Dan hadn’t kissed anyone in so many years, he couldn’t remember. He wasn’t prepared for the intense sensation of heat flooding from Vadim’s mouth, the simple pleasure of lips touching-moving against lips, and the new sensation of stubble. He’d never kissed a man; never in his whole life. Except...a kiss of death six years ago. Another first and last and always for--from Vadim. A rape—a kiss



Dan is a closeted romantic, he had some of the best swoon worthy word moments.

“You conquered me, got to this Special Forces bloke well and truly.” His voice low and husky. “You could betray and kill me now and I wouldn’t give a shit as long as you stayed close until I died.”



The sex scenes were Hot! Rough! sweet! tender and everything in between.



Two‘enemies’, and both the same colour, their blood. Red—for the Soviet Union—for Britain. Red in both their flags.

Thirty-two years, one rape, one touch, one kiss, one shot.

Vadim is the love of my life!

Davim tops my couples list as at January 2019!



Highly recommend.

[Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I met Vadim in 1980 under circumstances that I cannot repeat. We were hell-bent on destruction at first. Enemies: two soldiers, Soviet spetsnaz and British SAS. But it changed, [...], it all changed completely over the years"



This book, amig@s! HOLLY FREAKING HELL this book!There are NO words in ANY language to describe what I felt while reading this EPIC story.

Spectacular!
Outstanding.
Lyrical
Dark
Impressive
EPIC!!!
Real
Simply THE BEST!

SOLDIERS changed something in me. I am dead serious. I can’t take those characters off my mind, I am constantly thinking about them as if they were real. Like I wonder what they are doing right now and that is weird. But I can’t help it.

I remember the first time I started reading this book I could not understand why people loved it so much. If you’ve read it, you’ll know the scene I am talking about. I hated Vadim with all my soul, I wanted him dead and I wished the worst for him. So I stopped reading the book, that was before Xmas.

A few weeks ago after a few MEH books I decided to pick it up again and I just wanted to KILL MYSELF (literally) for not reading this gem before.

Soldiers tells us the story of Vadim & Dan, two war enemies who met each other under the worst circumstances. That’s all you’ll get from me about the story. I freaking HATE spoilers and I want all of you to go blind when reading this (although most of my buddies have already read it anyway).

The writing style was exquisite, sometimes it was like reading poetry, I kid you not. My absolute favourite character was Vadim even though I started hating him but something changed (as Deirdre would say, this is due to Voinov’s character development skills).

I can’t tell you how many millions of butterflies camped in my belly while I was reading this. Just one touch, one merely brush made my body shiver.

And this is not only the most epic story I’ve read in my life, this was also the most real one. I swear after all those books I’ve read before I thought my boyfriend had a fault or something. I mean, how many books have we read about guys having sex like 10 times in a row without giving their wieners some time to recover? I asked my boyfriend and he said that was bullshit but I kept trusting the books until I read Soldiers. Vadim & Dan always waited to recover before round two, they even didn’t have a round two sometimes! I now know that I am going to marry the right person, thanks God!

I have started Mercenaries this morning and can’t wait to know what happens with them (even if I cheated and I know how their story will end). Don’t judge me, I never do it that way but I couldn’t help it this time.

[Baba · Rating 5 out of 5]

5++++ stars.



Dan. Always.

"All is fair in love and war."
- by Francis Edward Smedley

"Hatred ever kills, love never dies. Such is the vast difference between the two. What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves a burden in reality for it increases hatred."
- by Mohandas K. Gandhi

Fantastic! A-mazing with a capital A. Honestly, Soldiers just blew me away.

Special Forces is the story of a Scottish SAS soldier and a Soviet spetsnaz soldier. Two enemies who meet in the line of duty during the early days of the Soviet Union's last war in Afghanistan. SF is an epic because the story of Dan and Vadim spans twenty-five years of their lives.

Special Forces--Soldiers is the first cycle of the Special Forces epic. Dan and Vadim are "meeting" for the first time in August 1980, in Kabul. The second cycle is Mercs I and II (2 books) and the third one is Veterans. The whole epic comprises around one million words. Take your time and read it.

Enemies…from hatred to love.
 
One million words of:
Anger. Hatred. Torture. Violence. Cruelty. Pain. Swearing. Agony. Anguish. Crying. Despair. Stress. Franticness. Blood, sweat and tears. Death. Insanity. Awfulness. Doubts. Separation. Communication. Lack of communication. Miscommunication. Tension. Frustration. Satisfaction. Lust. Need. Passion. Sex. Tenderness. Vulnerability. Dedication. Heroism. Mercy. Hope. Darkness. Shadow. Light. Happiness. Gratitude. And above and beyond…despite all the misgivings a deep-rooted love.

Prayer beads. Vadim's gift to Dan.



So many books pale compared to SF—a mere dust in the wind, vanished into Nothing. SF is pure insanity in its intensity, gripping from the get-go, oh-so shocking, brutal and ugly at times but this story will consume you and swallow you whole. As a matter of fact, the words and characters will cut right through your heart. The authors did a superb job at portraying two multi-layered and battle-scarred characters. War is showing its ugly and gruesome face. And yet I loved to see that among all this insanity there is honor to be found. Dan said he is not a good man but at his core he is honorable because he spared Vadim's life when he called to him as a soldier or when he tried to shelter the young German soldier.

"You want to know why I didn't cut your balls off, stuffed them down your throat and watched you die? You want to know it? I don't give a shit about you, Russkie, family kids, wife, village, country, beliefs, sexuality or not. I don't give a flying fuck. I saw you take down the village, I watched you bring out the mothers by splattering their children's brains into the dirt. You call yourself a killer? I call that a murderer, and if you had died under my hands, cunt, I would have been one of you. And that's why you live--no more, no less, no other reason. I didn't continue because you asked for the mercy to die as a soldier, because you called to me as a soldier, and that's what I am."--Dan

I adored Dan's deep, deep love for the Afghan mountains. Further, I adored the interaction between Dan and the British ambassador, Baroness de Vilde (Maggie). What he did for her is invaluable but she knows it, and she gave back by being loyal, very supportive, understanding and caring. Always. A true lady made of steel, however, at her core she is utterly kind-hearted. Throughout this epic I came to really like Vadim but then again, there is no love lost between him and me. My emotions are all over the place when a man is raping men because he enjoys to do it and when he has no qualms whatsoever to kill innocent children and women. My friends know where I stand and I will admit it's a somewhat lonely place to be. Yes, he made mistakes, he is flawed. However, all the Dan bashing is kinda depressing and not really fair because there are reasons why he changed. And please "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Isn't it rather convenient to forget about that? With that said, I'd appreciate it if we could differentiate a bit more.
 
Enemy mine. An “enemy” in a wilderness of insanity
“It’s another first today.” He paused. “You seem to be the one for firsts,” his breath caught, “and lasts and always.” --Dan
 


“Tell me what do you remember?”
“I don’t want to talk.” Dan’s neck muscles tensed resisting Vadim’s hand. He didn’t know the words and he didn’t want to search for them. “I just want to feel. But no, that wasn’t it. “I want to feel human.” --Dan
 
What follows suit is my favorite love scene. It was not about sex—it was so much more and went way deeper. It's love.

"You…" just you, always you. My Russian cunt, my enemy, my comrade, my prisoner, my gaoler and my life. Words, unthinking. "Love…you." --Dan

Couldn't hear his own groans echo in the cave, mind screaming for release, knew he'd do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future. --Vadim

First and foremost Dan and Vadim's "relationship" is about a profound lust and need. Their internal tensions are very palpable and engaging. But there's no going back--their relationship evolves slowly yet steadily and it's so incredibly rewarding to see them fall in love with each other. The sex is rough and edgy and that's why I treasured the rare moments of tenderness all the more. Death was always hovering over their heads and the reader has a hard time to really believe in their HEA. Well, you know the saying "Good things come to those who wait."

The ending of Soldiers is emotionally charged, frantic and full of despair and angst--I could feel the goose bumps on my skin. In fact, it will leave you absolutely breathless and wanting for more. While the war had kept them together, peace was tearing them apart.


Warning
Even though I can't recommend this epic enough, please be aware that Special Forces contains very graphic violence, language and sex. It's not for the faint of heart.



"Hold me," he murmured with a strained voice. "Just f***ing hold me."


This review can also be found here:

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

If you decide to give this epic a go then read the Special Forces: Soldiers Part I -Director's Cut.

[Sun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.

There was so much hype surrounding the entire Special Forces series that I was actually afraid to read it. After having finished Book 1 – Soldiers, I’m even more afraid than ever to move on. I am completely connected and immersed and bound to Dan and Vadim.

Aleksandr Voinov, who from this point onward in this review shall be referred to as “The Genius”, makes you EARN it in this book. It is an epic, sweeping, love story that spans years, but, not in the way where you just catch up with the characters 10 years later. You read each and every encounter between Dan and Vadim…painful, tragic, violent, twisted, tender, dysfunctional, physical, brutal, protective, loving. And then there is the 3rd main character, The War, always threatening to tear them apart, yet entirely the one that brings/keeps them together.

The Genius wore me out with painstaking detail and I was left feeling battered, beaten, exhausted and completed sated.

I found myself riding an emotional see-saw on how I felt about the characters: I hate him, I like him, I hate him, I love him…just as Dan and Vadim find themselves fighting understanding of who they are to one another: enemy, friend, enemy, lover. Back and forth, back and forth…until suddenly, without even recalling how it happened, I was totally drawn into a love story…pleading with The Genius to allow them to end alive, safe, and together.

The last chapter of the Director’s Cut was easily the most intense LOVE scene I’ve ever read, both in its brutality and then in its tenderness. I was TORN UP by the end.

The book is both subtle and in-your-face and is so brilliantly written that it will take your breath away.

My heart feels raw…on to Mercenaries…

Thanks to Monique, Erin, Elizabetta, and Amanda for the Buddy Read. And to everyone else for the shoulders and support. I have a feeling we've only just scratched the surface...

[LenaRibka · Rating 5 out of 5]

MUCH MUCH MORE THAN JUST 5 STARS!



I won't say WOW!

Because it is not enough.

Because it sounds trivially. banally, GENERALLY.

Because it is a way we use to talk about the books that we enjoyed, a kind of telling, "Hey, here is something that you have to read!"

This book is brutal and row.
It is distressing and cruel.
It is dramatic.
It is intense.
It is mesmerizingly insane.
It is painfully beautiful.
It is disturbingly poetical.
It is captivating.
It is incredibly hot.
It is intriguingly fateful.
It is highly emotional .
It is heavenly engaging.
It is very graphical, no matter if it is sex or violence scenes.
It is DIFFERENT.
It is AMAZING.
It is STUNNING.

IT IS ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ!!



This book is everything but not trivial, not banal, not USUAL.

This book has turned my world upsides down.

This book is like a revelation for me.

This book has emotionally drained, exhausted me.

This book changed my life.

I am lost. I am lost. I am lost. I am lost...

It was the greatest and the best reading experience I have ever had.

I have just discovered my favorite genre.
Who could imagine it some days ago? Definitely not me.

I have just discovered the next one of my favorite authors and his name is Aleksandr Voinov.
His writing is addictive, provoking, intense, real!..
From now on I am going to read everything he has already wrote and everything he'll write.

Vadim and Dan, soviet Speznaz and SAS soldier, they stole my heart. FOREVER. The character to die for...
Their ways crossed 1980. Kabul. The Afghan war. The Cold war. Two enemies. From hate to love.

"There’s no glory in this whole shit. No war is ever glorious. Heroes are usually dead. Besides, they rarely turn into heroes because they are super-humans, but because of circumstances.
Heroes rarely think. Heroes just act. So, all this is, is a stage for glory, small, personal and up to each one of us."

My Dan...

My Vadim...



...the first year they met...

Incredibly fascinating love story.
Honest. Real. Authentic. Aroused. Exciting. Great.

"He’d do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future."

"When you're like this, Vadim, I want to own you, and taste you, burrow all the way into your body until I feel so much it fucking hurts and your scent clings to every pore. I want to hurt you, tear you apart, fuck you until you plead and scream and bleed, and all that, because I can never get enough of you."

"If all they had was Afganistan, then he'd make it bloody worth it."

"I’d die for you, Dan. No questions asked."
"No, Vadim. No." Dan’s dark eyes were unforgivingly intense. "You must not die for me, not ever. You must live for me, you understand?"His fingertips rested on Vadim’s face. "Give me your word, you will live for me, whatever happens. Even if I never see you again. I need to believe that somewhere, out there, you are alive."

"Dan didn’t want to say anything, but the words were unstoppable. “I fucking love you. Don’t leave me. You’ve got to find me.” Again, fucking tears. Vadim shook his head, then pressed his face into the crook of Dan’s shoulder, hoped to hide his weakness and felt like a man condemned to die.
"I will... find you. If it’s the last thing I’ll do, I’ll come back. Nothing will stop me."

My reviews are always my emotions. I don’t describe a plot.
Just two words: READ IT.

IT WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

P.S I have to add something that is very important. There are so many versions of the different parts of the trilogy. And I have maybe to correct my review according authors. I have no idea how a writing duo works but if the result look like THAT, I have no objection.
GREAT JOB, Marquesate and Aleksandr!!!

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was um, I am just..



Have you ever read something that changes your entire perspective on rating everything you have ever read before? Everything before this pales, I want to go back and change all my five stars to fours and fours to three's! This deserves to up there all on it's own. Nothing I have ever read compares to this!

I will think of something to say later, I promise. But just let me think for a bit first.

Fierce!!! that's what this is. I know what it is to fall in love with apostrophes and swoon over comma's now.

Still thinking.....

[Nick Pageant · Rating 4 out of 5]

BR with Mark.

Special Forces tells the story of Dan and Vadim, two soldiers on opposite sides during the Soviet war in Afghanistan. I'm going to use the same word a lot of people have used to describe this book - EPIC!

This is a roller-coaster ride. I started the book hating one of the guys and ended the book thinking he's one of the most romantic heroes I've ever had the pleasure of reading.

There are no tropes in this book, there is no romantic formula at work. This is a romantic adventure set on a grand scale and told on a grand stage. I loved, loved, loved it.

Is this a perfect book? NO! Does it deserve 5 stars? YES!

The problems I had with this book are, I think, going to be problems for others, so I'm going to list them. They are spoilerish, so read at your own risk.

1. The book starts off with a brutal rape. At no point in the book did this scene seem justified. I have no idea why the authors chose to include it. There were plenty of other ways to make the reader understand the two MCs were enemies. The rape was gratuitous and completely unnecessary.

2. Fisting! Okay, it's a hard limit for me and I don't like reading about it, but that's not even the issue here. I understand this is an activity that occurs. Fine. It's used here, though, as some kind of mental therapy. What? Huh? No! That was just flat-out ridiculous.

Big, big thanks to Mark for inviting me along on this adventure!

[Stacia (the 2010 club) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

I want you to do me a favor before you even read this review. I want you to think of every single thing that you know of which might offend or disturb you. Go ahead. Take a minute.

*cue elevator music while we wait*






You ready? Okay, now that you have your list, I want you to assume that most of your list is probably going to be covered in this book. I'm not kidding. There might be some limited spoilers ahead but these are the types of spoilers you'd want to know about before deciding whether or not to pick up a book this graphic in nature.

Descriptive Scenes of Rape? Check.
Haunting Acts of Torture? Check.
Offensive name calling? Check.

Need I go on?

This book is long and it is brutal. As well, a good portion of the book does involve graphic m/m sexual scenarios. Even though the point of the story is not about how much sex two people can have, it's probably not a bad idea to know ahead of time what you're getting yourself into, in case you need to back out now. In fact, I would encourage that you do so, because if reading the book and then listing out every single thing about it that bothers you would end up being what happens, then you might miss the reason for the point of the entire story.

However, if you find yourself captivated with stories of people overcoming extreme odds in order to be together, then do check this book out. Very few instances come along like this, where you find yourself rooting for the most unlikely of anti-heroes.

"You're talking bullshit, Russkie. Neither of us can forget who we are, nor what we have done."

There is no way to describe any of what goes on between the pages. All I can say is that love stories like this need to be told sometimes - maybe if for no other reason than to remind us why love is so precious and vital. For some people, it might make them long for a love so strong and enduring as this one. For me, it was a reminder of why I just might be one of the lucky ones.

Many people have come before me and written reviews, complete with lovely quotes and passages. You might want to go check out one of those reviews. I took many notes, but am finding that no amount of what I put in my review will begin to reflect what this book is.

Most of my friends gave Special Forces 5 stars and I understand why. I understand that the length of the book was instrumental in showing just how much Dan and Vadim had to go through in order to get to a place of acceptance and love. It's not unlike Outlander in that respect. Yet, I found myself getting antsy with some scenes which seemed to be nothing but a "different place, different time." So yes, this is sort of a weird catch. You can't cut out too much without losing the struggle. Yet, I didn't want to read some of it over again in a slightly different version. All in all, I still found myself invested with what was unfolding before my eyes. How could you not be, when two people who know better than to consort with the enemy still fight to be with the other half of their soul?

"Mine."
"I am."
"Forever."

[Rina Pride · Rating 5 out of 5]

Têm Aleksandr voinov como um dos autores na história? Já sabe que entediado não vamos ficar! Suas histórias são sempre muito tensas e polêmicas, sempre usando guerras entre países como pano de fundo entre dois personagens de nacionalidade diferentes. Já li 3 livros assim do mesmo autor e não enjoei, o cara e seus parceiros de escrita são muito bons nisso.

Special forces não é um livro para todos, muitos vão achar um absurdo o que um dos protagonistas faz logo no início dessa história, é sim um absurdo, mas confiei em Aleksandr e sua parceria nessa história, eles não chocaram logo no início atoa, toda atitude de Vadim é o que vai moldar o início da vingança de Dan contra ele. É O QUE VAI MOLDAR TODA HISTÓRIA.

Temos aqui uma guerra da Rússia X Afeganistão, uma guerra que aconteceu mesmo na vida real, durou de 1980 até 1989, e assim vamos acompanhar Vadim e Daniel nesses 9 anos de guerra.

Vadim é um soldado do exército russo, um cara inicialmente sem escrúpulos e pudor, seu passatempo é se embebedar e transar com caras ( eles querendo ou não).

Daniel é um soldado britânico que está no Afeganistão disfarçado para conseguir informações sobre o exército russo, nessa guerra, à Rússia tomou posse de Cabul e outros lugares do Afeganistão, outros países não vê isso com bons olhos, mas decidi não se meter oficialmente, mas sim por entre os panos.

Quando Dan está tirando fotos de Vadim e outros russos, Vadim percebe e monta uma emboscada para Dan, Vadim e mais um soldado russo pegam Dan e violenta ele. Dan nunca pensou que passaria por isso um dia, uma humilhação desgraçada nas mãos dos soldados russos, seu único desejo ao sair daquela situação é... VINGANÇA.

Dan alimenta um ódio enorme pelo que Vadim fez ele passar e assim monta seu plano para destruir com a vida do desgraçado. Assim começa a história de ódio X ódio entre Dan e Vadim, uma história tão tensa que eu não conseguia parar de ler!

É um livro grande, são 9 anos nos acontecimentos dessa guerra, mas que acaba se tornando uma guerra entre Dan e Vadim, uma guerra de ódio e paixão que se misturam loucamente nesse enredo.

No início, eu ficava me perguntando como teria um romance nesse livro se os personagens se odeiam, mas eu acabo subestimando autores de MM, e aqui tudo aconteceu de uma forma polêmica e genial!! Não tenho outras palavras para expressar o mar de emoções que é esse livro. Eu fiquei extasiada em como os autores fizeram essa parada acontecer.

UMA PORRA MUITO LOUCAAAA.....

O FINAL DESSE LIVRO FOI TÃO FRENÉTICO QUE NÃO CONSEGUI NEM RESPIRAR, EU TAVA SEM CONSEGUIR CAGAR POR 2 DIAS.. QUANDO CHEGOU NO FINAL.. FIQUEI TÃO NERVOSA QUE DESTRAVOU MINHA BARRIGA 😅 ERA QUASE 5 DA MANHÃ E FUI CAGAR DE NERVOSO ( NÃO ESTOU BRINCANDO).

TEREI DE DESCANSAR MEU EMOCIONAL PARA CONSEGUIR COMEÇAR O PRÓXIMO, JÁ SINTO UM SOFRIMENTO E PRECISO ME PREPARAR!!

[* A Reader Obsessed * · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find it hard to say something new about this book that others haven't already said. It is by far THE most painstaking, meticulous, step by brutal step portrayal of a relationship between enemies that slowly evolves into something more - something that becomes each other's reason for surviving/living/being. This book will make you flinch, cringe, anticipate the worst, and hope for the best. You too will experience the hate, fear, doubt, loneliness, anger, yearning, pain, desperation, comfort, and eventually love that these two MC's experience. It is unlike any love story I have read or probably will ever read. Having perused reviews for the continuation makes me strongly hesitate to carry on though. I think I would like to bask in the glow at the end of part I, though obviously it is far from a HEA. I don't know if my heart could survive any more anguish; the anguish I know is awaiting.

[Tara♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"There be dragons,
but there should be Nothing."

I knew going into this that it was going to be a rough ride, this book is much beloved and because of that it is almost impossible to go into it without at least having a vague idea of what's to come. I knew three things when I started 'Soldiers'.

1) Dan and Vadim's relationship is born due to a violent rape perpetrated by Vadim
2) As retribution for this rape Dan eventually tortures Vadim
3) That somehow, someway these two men would move from enemies to lovers

Those three things were really just the tip of a very big ice-burg when it comes to this book and these men.

Now even with all the positive reviews and the love that people have for Vadim and Dan I have to say I was sceptical. I really didn't see how such acts of violence could ever be overcome. The level of hate that consumed Dan was palpable and there seemed to be a rage in Vadim that was bottomless. It didn't seem possible that two people so lost, angry and flawed could ever find any kind of peace apart, never mind together.

I was born in 1982. 3 years after the Soviet war in Afghanistan began, owing to this and the fact that it was not a global war, I had little to no knowledge of said war going into this book. The only things I really knew? Russia was involved in a war in Afghanistan during the 80's and that ironically (due to later events that we are all too familiar with) the US and UK aided the Mujahideen during this time. That was it. In fact I am ashamed to say that the only real knowledge I had of Afghanistan as a country before this book were the pictures I saw on the news and a heartbreaking awareness that a war that seems never-ending and is claiming the lives of far too many men and women is being fought there. I wasn't aware of it's beauty, I wasn't aware how harsh the climate was and I wasn't aware of the vastness, danger and wonder of its mountains. There are three main characters in this book. Dan, Vadim and Afghanistan. Whenever Dan and Vadim left Afghanistan I felt an inexplicable sense of loss. For better or worse Afghanistan, its mountains, Kabul and an ever so important teashop there was a part of them and their relationship, the words used to describe the country describe the men.



In the beginning I couldn't see a way to ever like a person like Vadim, his presence made me angry from the start, he was a stereotype of the young Soviet soldier who took what he wanted and consequences be damned. He was so full of rage and his thirst for power was so all consuming he couldn't see past it. My heart went out to Dan, the helplessness he experienced was difficult to witness especially for a man to whom power was also so important. Then in the mountains the tables turned. I willed Vadim to feel and express remorse because once he did I thought it would be okay for me to feel some pity for him at the hands of Dan. I couldn't feel for him unless he showed some remorse though, because in my mind this is how rapists should be treated. They deserve to be tortured, they take something that is not theirs to take, they take will and power so those things should also be taken from them. Vadim did not show remorse. He in fact never shows it and yet I couldn't stop myself from wanting Dan to stop. For feeling pity for Vadim. For wanting the pain that was being inflicted to stop. Somehow I overcame what Vadim did. I cannot explain how. I truly do not know. I just know that through the journey I took with Dan and Vadim I began to see something so much more than rape and torture. Two deeply flawed and damaged human beings find something that is so extraordinary there is no name to give it. The word 'Love' does not do it justice.

"Home. His only home. An ‘enemy’ in a wilderness of insanity."


There were many hard limits for me in this book, a lot of things made me deeply uncomfortable and yet none of it took from the story or felt like it was being added for the soul purpose of shocking the reader, it only added to it. I for one think that is an amazing achievement. I applaud the authors for their ability to incorporate shocking and unpleasant subject matters and make them work. I also wish to thank them for giving me Dan and Vadim.

This book has left me in pain. My heart aches and I feel utterly bereft and helpless. These men overcame so much throughout this story, they overcame mistakes they refused to acknowledge, atone to or even discuss. They overcame rage and anger, fear, loss and pain. They are soldiers, they are warriors. Yet when it comes down to it they are helpless and cannot overcome politics and the might of countries caught in a game that has no use for desire, no place for passion and no care for love.

"No one else, only his Russian, the darkness and light, hatred and love. Mirrors of each other; each the same, and both the opposite."

If you have not read this book I urge you to do so, it is not an easy read and not always a pleasant read but there is beauty to be found here, a beauty that is not often seen and it is stunning, it is gut wrenching and it feels real.

Throughout reading this two things kept coming to mind. Johnny Cash singing 'Hurt' and Ludwig van Beethoven's 'Immortal Beloved' letters. I think Beethoven's sign-off is the most fitting end.

“Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours”

[Moony Eliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

The puppet could only sever the strings and refuse to walk, not walk of its own free will.

This gritty, rough, intense story owns me. OWNS. ME.

Sometimes when I am as enveloped as I became with this one, reviewing it is hard. Really hard. I lose my words. One of my friends who's buddy reading this one with me suggested that I take some of my text messages to her and turn them into my review. So I'm going to give that a shot.

It doesn't get more intense than the setting for this love story, where the characters are living in war conditions that make our (well… at least my) problems seem downright insignificant. They save each others' lives many times over and it's so real. What makes it feel that way is not only the excellent storytelling (though it definitely is). But in reality, there are so many true scenarios like this — wartime relationships that kept people alive.

It's heartbreaking and hopeful and endearing and gut-wrenching all at the same time. And it's so damn three-dimensional that I felt like my real life was the fictional part of my world during the week I was reading.

So many things that I would normally gripe about — constant POV changes, typos all day long, stream-of-consciousness style writing that was riddled with comma splices — I forgave every one. Because when you've created one of the most epic stories on the planet, and then offered it for free, you get my amnesty. Which is worth nothing, but there you have it.

Note: I will be continuing with book 2 shortly, which I'm well aware contains content that many of my GR friends loathed. I have done my best to avoid spoilers about this, so if you want to discuss now or later in the comments, please employ the spoiler tag. 😘😘 Thank you!

[Literatures Movies · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy. Fuck.

What a fucking ride.

When I went in, I didn't expect this book to be that good, but fuck me if this book did not blow my mind away. Even though this has the classic enemy-turned-lovers plot, the storyline is always unpredictable in the best way. Even the sex is unpredictable and that's saying a lot.

The connection between the two is out of this world. I feel everything. Every touch, every kiss. Their loss, fear, love, lust, hatred, want, need. Everything. Literally by the time I was done with this book, I have been reduced to nothing but a big ball of feelings.



It has been so long since I have been able to truly ship and want to root for characters to be together and have their happily ever after so badly. I am happy that this book and these wonderful authors finally evoked those feelings and brought it all back into my system.

“I remember when I first looked at you. Really looked at you. I hated you. You were so goddamned perfect and yet so flawed. I thought I was better than you. How wrong I was. Without you, I would not be myself anymore, not even alive. Without you I'd probably be a drunken wanker, gibbering on about past glory, security guard in a parking lot, and drinking myself to death.”



Now excuse me while I go and be gay and feel all the feels for Vadim and Dan in book two.


For more of my reviews, click : here

[Sheziss · Rating 4 out of 5]

Epic story.

Working on my review.



More pics...

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite all the upcoming praise, this review won’t do the book justice. Not by far. But I’m still going to try and explain why and how much I liked this story.

It was FANTASTIC! Mind-boggling. Brutal. Horrific. Amazing. Sweet. Heart rending. Most of all: it was intense. One can’t read this book without being affected by it.
Vadim and Dan capture you from the very beginning. And not in any charming and fluffy way. These men are tough, hardened. They are soldiers, survivors. They do the most horrible things to each other. Rape, torture, violence. In fact: when reading all that brutality, you just can’t imagine that there will ever be anything but hate between the two men.
But then: slowly, gradually, there’s a shift. Respect, understanding, trust and finally: love.

This book is not for the faint hearted. It’s brutal and raw. You’ll be reading most parts with a knot in your stomach. But you’ll also be rewarded with a wonderfully engaging and beautiful love story about two –seemingly- very different men, from two different worlds, finding each other against all odds.

Soldiers is the first part of the Special Forces saga which spans 25 years in Dan and Vadim’s life. Having been on the roller coaster journey for their first 10, I can’t wait to see what happens in the next books: Mercenaries Part I, Mercenaries Part II and Veterans.

[Xia and the Giant TBR · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the perfect example that when the plot is strong and the character development out of this world, typos and other editing issues can just go fuck themselves.

After my friends Jan, Moony and Shile, especially Jan (thank you ladies) spent 24 hrs to convince me to join the buddy read, I reluctantly agreed to give this monster -- which is the size of 4 books -- a try.

Little did I expect it to start with a flash down my memory lane to the stories told by my grandparents from when the Russian army visited my country during WW2 to "liberate" Romania from the Nazis. We even have a poem for it:

"It was bad with der die das
But was worse with davai ceas (give me your watch)
From the Dnister to the Don,
Davai wife, davai palton." (give me your wife, give me your coat)

The book started out dark and bloody and with a lot of weapons.Just as I expected from a book about special soldiers and just as I liked.



It continued even darker moving deep into the realms of torture.

But at one point the gears shifted and we entered into one of the best enemies to lovers character development arcs I have ever read in my life. Every encounter between Dan and Vadim was better and better, first focusing on the sexual attraction then leveling up to something warmer. And it didn't happen over night. It took years and years for the relationship to blossom. As the years passed by and after hundreds and hundreds of pages I felt like I knew these two so well they were real people.

Since I'm a slower reader than my friends I saw from the comfort of the "shades" the darkness and disappointment that lurks in Mercenaries.So I'm going to park the series at Soldiers for a moment, pretend there is no cliffhanger and enjoy my mimosa because after the roller coaster this huge book was I bloody well deserve it.



This free book is 100 times better than 99% of all the similar paid books out there. If you can stomach the first 20% you are in for one of the best rides of your life.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

AND THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END.
NO MORE. LAST BOOK.

GLAD EVERYTHING ENDED WELL.

GREAT READ. WILL READ AGAIN.

[Em · Rating 5 out of 5]

He’d do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future.

Read in October 2012
This book makes me regret some of the 5 star reviews I have given out in the past. Whilst I have absolutely loved those books and really enjoyed reading them at the time, they are not in the same league as Special Forces - Soldiers, I realize that now. It will make me think next time my finger is hovering over the fifth star.

Re-read July 2016
I was really nervous about reading this series again, its my absolute favourite and nothing has ever topped it, not even come close, and I hoped I would still love it as much the second time around. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, from literally from the first page I was totally hooked again, it didn't matter that I knew Dan and Vadim's story and in fact it made things much more exciting, I knew I had so many classic/funny/sad/truly amazing, heartbreaking, things all yet to come.

Thanks to Steph and G again for the buddy read, looking forward to the rest of the books!
Soldiers is simply outstanding and never before have I run through such a range of emotions during a book as I did with this one. One minute giggling and the next with a box of tissues sat on my lap.(especially the last several chapters)

I loved it, and although I now feel psychically and mentally drained and almost sick with dread at what will happen to Dan and Vadim in the next books, there is no backing out now, I'm in it until the end.

[Lenore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I should start by admitting that it took me some time to get used to the style and rhythm. But once I did, I couldn't put it down for the life of me.

And I still think this book could benefit from some additional editing. It could make the difference between a rough diamond and a polished masterpiece.

But still. This is hands down the most powerful read of the year for me. And easily one of the most powerful books I've ever read.
Whatever I say about the emotions Vadim and Dan evoked in me won't be enough. Words simply fail me.

Just a couple of attempts: That one special encounter in that mountain cave when Dan finally kisses Vadim after so many years, then awkwardly expresses his feelings for him? I was so overwhelmed my hands shook.
That scene in the ICU when Vadim, about to collapse after having crossed two countries almost on foot and almost without food and water, drops to his knees and cries his heart out holding Dan's hand? I cried. I did. And that doesn't happen to me very often. If at all.

I've given five stars to other books here on GR, but I wish there were a way to distinguish between those ratings and this one. They simply pale in comparison.

A big "thank you" to Mel for drawing my attention to this book.

[⊱ Poppy ⊰ · Rating 5 out of 5]

T H I S B O O K
M Y H E A R T
D E A D

1008 Pages- Still not enough!! MORE.WANT.MORE!!
RENDERED SPEECHLESS !!
This was just BRILLIANT.
Don't think any other word can describe it well.

"Vadim & Dan will always be the characters i'll remember all my life."

"Fuck me, hurt me, use me, give me a reason to be angry, to hate.
Give me a reason to go on with this shit, to kill, destroy, survive.
Give me more than just a fucking joke of a military order. "Give me a reason!"

“He’d do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future.”

"You'll wear me on your skin, and in return I'll carry you in my flesh."

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Special “Aye” “Aye” “Aye” “Aye” “Aye” Stars

This book hit me exactly in ...


Un-f$#?$ng- believable, amazingly written, deep, raw, dark and brutally honest!!

Meet them ...


“I will own you. Enter you. Use you. Want you. Make you come and take you.”



A masterpiece, classic, gem, jewel,a treasure… but read it at your on risk… some scenes are very INTENSE!!!

I will always “я люблю тебя всем сердцем” Dan and Vadim ❤❤

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enemies to lovers.
It’s a common trope I love, but the authors are taking this to another level (or two or three) here.

Not only are Dan and Vadim on different sides in a vicious war, but the way they meet couldn’t be more horrifying and controversial. I’m sure I’m not giving anything away (I am spectacularly late to this party) when I say that rape and torture are involved.

Mindblowing stuff and intense, as are all the encounters of the two men over the seven years covered by book 1. What else can you expect of two 1000% alpha males, highly trained in combat and killing?
Despite the extreme hate and anger, or just because of it, the attraction, the lust, the guilt are intense, for both men, with so many complexities, it boggled my brain (in the best sort of way!).

The writing sucked me totally in, and I LOVED how the author skillfully shows how the ‘relationship’ between Dan and Vadim changes, nuance by nuance, very gradually over the years.
How ‘fucking’ turns from pure sexual relief, to comfort, caring and respite. How respect grows between them, how their alikeness, both soldiers, both deadly, both ice-cold killers, creates equality they don’t find anywhere else.

Dan and Vadim aren’t ‘nice’ guys. (and yet, I did root for them by the end!)
I found it difficult to conjure up any sympathy for them for quite a long time. Neither is a ‘hero’ in the proverbial sense. In a war situation where you live in mortal danger 24/7, where survival is everything and lives mean nothing, where sheer brutality and violence is all that counts, it’s no wonder they’ve been completely desensitized to any ‘normal’ feelings.

But boy, sometimes that made for really tough reading and yeah, I do admit to feeling rather queasy at times.
It was also upsetting, for example, how a smile or a tender touch unbalances these men emotionally more than killing children or ripping somebody’s guts out.

It’s amazing to see where these guys end up considering where they started. And even though we do get some ILYs and lots of feels in the last 25%, it is clear that Dan and Vadim have only touched the surface of what it’s like to be in a relationship, particularly one that’s outside a war-torn country. All their issues and traumas aside.

Neither really knows how to function in ‘normal’ society. Not that their countries are going to make it easy for them: In Vadim’s case, homosexuality is illegal and severely punished which is ultimately the main threat to them, while Dan is left high and dry by, like a fish out of water when back ‘home’.

By the way, I had NO idea that Dan was Scottish (it does say that somewhere in the blurb, I think) and I rather enjoyed all the Scottish references!

What is done most fabulously in this book is the way the authors bring home the horrors of war on a very personal and intimate level, how they show that there is no white and black, but invariably only a hundred shades of grey.

Excellent book, but no doddle for the faint-hearted.

It's probably one of the reasons why this has been sitting on my laptop for 4,5 years! I’m a whimp with on page violence, but I have to say the authors managed to keep me going and make me want more. (And Jan and Claire's encouraging words nudged me along!)

It was so worth it!

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I have spent the last half hour staring at my computer screen wondering... Just where the hell do I start? How can my words, possibly describe the way I felt whilst reading this book? How do I tell others about the impact that this incredible story had on my life?
The honest answer is I don't think I can. So I will just write whatever pops into my head and hope that it works out. LOL

I am going to try and make sure this review has no real spoilers, but it will have quotes from the book...

I will start by saying that although, yes, I was warned about the violence and brutality of this book. I was still very shocked. I have honestly never seen/read anything quite like this book before and the violence really knocked me on my arse. It took some serious getting used to.

This book begins with a truly horrifying situation. One that left me disgusted and appalled, it made me feel sick and left me with tears in my eyes. The way Vadim and Dan meet was like nothing I ever could've imagined. I was left completely dumbfounded. How could this situation ever change, how could this wrong ever be made right?
It was a fantastic beginning that sucked me into this story with full force, I didn't stand a chance.

Onto the main characters,
The way we meet Dan, I think is what made me love him so much. As a reader you immediatly sympathise with him and you want him to get his revenge, no matter the cost.
Vadim is the one we (initially) hate. But even though in the beginning, he is the 'bad guy', Vadim is actually the one we learn the most about. So the connection to him becomes stronger and stronger as we learn more about him. His past, why he is the way he is, and that is one sick and twisted arsehole. Vadim likes to hurt people. He likes the fight, the pain he can inflict and the control he has over the people he breaks. It's revolting and disgusting. But I, like most others also grew to love him throughout this book.

Dan and Vadim together are explosive, destructive and possibly the sexiest, most heart-racing couple I have ever read about and I honestly don't think that will ever change. I am ruined; no other couple will ever make me feel this way again.
There was so much sex in this book, which I hadn't expected. But it was amazing. Every single scene they shared was like a monumental step forward and I felt like it was vital to their developing relationship. Every touch, every single moment together was breath-taking.

It was so hard to read from Dan's point of view. All he wanted was to hate Vadim. Hate him, hurt him and destroy him. But he couldn't do it.
Seeing hate turn into respect, respect and pure lust coming together to form this drive to see each other again, was beyond emotional. They are completely consumed by each other.

Vadim's honestly was just brilliant, and I think that without it, things would have been even harder for them. Vadim just put's it all out there on
the table and Dan can do what he wants with it.

'"I am here because I want more. More than shooting you. More than kissing you." He inhaled, deeply. "To make offer." Snake coils slowly, unfolding as he set eyes on his prey. "You. Me. Alone. No questions. No killing."'

God, that scene made me shiver. They're just so intense.

Initially I found the writing style quite hard to follow. The POV change was so rapid; I struggled to keep up at first. But once I had gotten used to it, it was amazing. I loved the way that Dan and Vadim would say something out loud, but then the words they are really thinking, are right there on the page for us to see.

'"Don't leave me." I need you. I love you. And all that other fucking shit that I used to laugh about, a lifetime ago.'

Every time they were apart (for months at a time), it was like a punch in the gut. They made progress each and every time they met and were then pulled out of each other's arms by the war. You could feel the hurt, and they could see it in each other's eyes.

'"I'll be off, too. Dan couldn't say anything else, wouldn't. "No fucking clue when or if I get back." And I need your body so goddamned badly, I am close to begging you fuckin cunt!'

Dan slowly starts to let out a more possessive side, although he still tries to hide it.
'"Fuck off and get pissed." Dan waved the other away with a dry sound, akin to a huff. Calling after Vadim. "And don't forget, you're my cunt."
Vadim turned to wink. "We'll see about that tomorrow."'

This story was a far cry from pretty. It was rough and dirty and brutal. A fractured relationship, trying to slowly pull itself together in the midst of the war and their horrible lives.
There was something just so beautiful about them together...

'"I want you, Dan. More than anything. You... are in my blood, in my bones, I need... you. Do you understand?" Just a whisper into Dan's ear.'

I don't know why, but Dan really made me laugh. He's so blunt; things just seemed to fall out of his mouth. He had me laughing out loud many times...

'"Been seven years and I'm still addicted to your body, you stupid fuck."'

Okay, I have to stop now. LOL. But honestly, there are a thousand more things I could say, and easily a hundred other quotes I could show you, but I know, as usual that I have rambled on for way too long. This book was just so much more than I ever could've hoped for. It took over every aspect of my life. I couldn't think, couldn't sleep, couldn't function without thinking about this book, about Dan and Vadim and their complex relationship.
I won't lie; the sheer brutality and violence can be really hard to stomach at times. But behind all of that are two of the most amazing men, and a story that will burn itself into your heart.

I am dying to read the next book and plan to do so as soon as possible.

Oh and a quick thanks to Blacky, Baba, Heller, Susan, Sarah, Hambel, Shelley (sorry if I missed anyone), for joining in with the Group Read and holding my hand throughout this journey. You're all awesome :)

[annob [on hiatus] · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this during the image deluge of atrocities coming from Putin's current war in Ukraine, I wondered if my timing would be a good or bad choice. It turned out good, as it amplified the horrors of war, suffering and death that were on and off page this story. Without a promised epic romance, I wouldn't have been able to stomach the gory details no matter how well written. And it is well written! Like so many readers before me, I fell head over heels for Dan's and Vadim's true enemies to lovers story.

[h o l l i s · Rating 4 out of 5]

What can one even say about this experience.

SPECIAL FORCES : SOLDIERS is like.. nine hundred pages of triggers, death, violence, abuse, sex, violence, darkness, hey, did I say violence; this is not a read for everyone. Sometimes it wasn't even for me. This is a long, repetitive, dialogue-cringey epic of real, true, enemies-to-lovers the likes I've never experienced before. But it's also epic in the sense of like real, true, character growth. Overcoming unspeakable odds. Moments of decency despite overwhelming hate. Tenderness somehow grown, and nurtured, in the harshest of climates and situations.

Somewhere up in the mountain, they'd lost something. Lost white and black and came out with grey.

As I said, ad nauseam, to my buddy Moony throughout this read, the first.. 25/30% were my favourite -- which is kinda fucked up considering that portion is some of the darkest, and messiest, but certainly not the end to the dark and messy within this read. Or, rather, those chapters were my favourite until I hit the 65% mark. I found a lot of the middle to be a bit monotonous and repetitive and hard to get through (I stalled a bit and had to force myself to read on because I found I wasn't able to lose myself in the story the same way) but once the relationship shifted.. wow. I couldn't look away.

He was aching inside, a pain that told him it was, indeed, love. He'd know it, said it, confessed to it, but now that it all was at risk again, maybe forever, the pain was so keen that he knew it was the real thing. Only the real thing could hurt so much.

This read is far from perfect. There are definitely some English language struggles for one or both of the authors, there are typos, run on sentences, and overuse of descriptors. And yeah, as mentioned, much cringe with some dialogue and conversations. But the narrative, the exposition, sometimes it was just flawless. The feelings, conveyed without words, the connection that became not just sexual or based in lust but emotional.. it was incredibly intense.

This was a dark, exhaustive, and definitely not always pleasant read. And there is still a lot farther to go. Can't thank my buddy enough for tolerating my updates -- including my complaints!

3.75 "the war had kept them together; peace was tearing them apart" stars

[Long Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only words I could describe this book are "savagely beautiful". It took a while for me to get into the writing style, but once I got it, it became obsessive. I couldn't get enough of it. There was nothing lịke this book that I've seen before, and I don't think there will ever be. Absolutely recommended.

[Virginia Cavanillas · Rating 4 out of 5]

For those who haven’t read this golden piece of work: The ebook version of this series is available for free download here: http://www.marquesate.org/special-for.... Aleksandr Voinov creates and co-wrote this amazing story but the books are no longer available on his website.

And now, the longest rambling ever...

A love story that doesn’t know about frontiers, sides or conventionalism. A love story beyond bullets, flags, loyalties and countries. A love story bigger than hate, need and desperation. A love story that fights against the world and against death, knowing that winning is almost an utopia but facing all kind of dangers anyway, because giving up is not an option anymore.

A deep, complex and crude book complicated to read in my case, because I had to deal with some struggling at the beginning (conflictive and mixed feelings) that stopped me to truly loved the story. But once those obstacles were overtaken, I was up for one hell of a ride. A journey full of greatness but with a lot of ups and downs in a dangerous highway with no visibility, no crash barriers and a huge danger of landslides. Drama queen much? Nope, the beginning was that difficult to me.
A metaphorical journey where I had to sleep in filthy motels, locking myself in from the rejection and confusion one of the MCs (Vadim Krasnorada) provoked inside me. Scary restless nights waiting for better days to come, shiny days that I was told were coming eventually, if I was persistent. Because a good friend told me that at some point in this road trip, there will be a luxury hotel with jacuzzi and massage included. Even with champagne and chocolate-coated strawberries (as you can guess she didn’t tell me all this cheesy shit, that’s all me. She even intentionally omitted the word “shinny” since there’s a lot of brilliance coming from the fabulous writing, and characters development, but that’s all, this is not a light read at all).

So... As I was saying in my mission to bored you to death, I was told that to win this all included 5 stars-plus hotel, I was going to suffer. A lot. And to be honest I was near to give up a couple of times during the first 20%. I was confused looking around for the luxury resort, thinking I surely misunderstood the given directions and took the wrong exit, finding myself lost in a rainy and dark place.



But after that 20% and some detox done (that means no reading in two days) I manage to enter the story again with an open mind and a huge resolution to keep going because I wanted to be a part of the fabulous glimpses I saw here and there, I wanted to know the story, get to know the brutal but fascinating characters in it . And I don’t regret it, not for a second because being honest, I didn’t need to be in Vadim’s rapist skin, not in Dan’s cocky and vengeful boots. I just wanted to read about them, to find out how this ENEMIES TO LOVERS story between a Soviet soldier and a Scottish SAS in Afghanistan in the 80’s was going to develop in something else. Because well, saying that these two started in the wrong way, is the understatement of the year since they meet with one of the MC raping the other.
I don’t think that’s a spoiler since it happens at the very beginning. It’s just something readers need to know (hard limits and all that) but I want to explain something vital here: the non con situation was awful itself BUT (and of course this is my humble opinion) it’s also true that there’s not romanticization of the event. Not near. The abuse brings anger, blood thirst and revenge. The victim becomes the torturer at some point and he makes Vadim pay. Still, horrible but imo the quid pro quo in the brutality was equal, I guess the retaliation and torture vs. a rape was compensated. And here came my problem during the first quarter: was Vadim redeemable? Could I forgive his despicable acts and behavior?
Because it wasn’t about excusing his terrible actions, this was about forgiveness. And I found a way to deal with it and that was doing it through Dan. My beloved Daniel Ewen McFadyen. I decided that I was going to follow his guidance, see through his eyes and feel what he was feeling. Because he was the victim here, not me, and if he was going to forget, forgive and/or trust the Ruskkie, I would do it too.

“Once upon a time he hated that body, smashed it, kicked it, beat it into a bleeding pulp, but now he wanted to crawl into it, or kill it and maim it, to possess it, war, tear, destroy it, to take it and never leave it again. His. The body was his, the man was his. His, his alone!”

This quote defines perfectly the evolution from hate to need (and you have no idea how the step from need to love is... sighs) But wasn’t just Dan (who is no angel either I must add) who made me believe in Captain Vadim Petrovick Krasnorada. It was Vadim himself who got under my skin and made me feel something else. I’m team Dan tho. Even if the Ruskkie is also pure greatness as protagonist.

Well, I guess I made my point clear so I won’t say anything else plot related, leaving a few highlights that describe this fascinating story hopping these notes convince you to come to the dark side or, on the contrary, make you stay in the peaceful light one.

🔪🏳️Brilliance in the characters and relationship development. Deep, complex, crude and hard to read. We are talking about enemies here, nemesis in different sides. Gay soldiers in Afghanistan during the war. Each day can be their last and that is perfectly transmitted. They are who they are and both face reality as it is. No lies, no subterfuges. It was freaking realistic and well done. I’d describe it as Poetic Realism, if such a thing even exist.
🔪🏳️The book is not short, around 600 pages taking place between 1980 and 1989. (it felt a bit longer to me but that’s a very personal appreciation) Nine years in Vadim and Dan’s intense lives. Beautiful to witness cause after the harsh beginning they had, when the feelz came to play they did it to win the game. Completely. The last 30% is to die for. There are amazing quotes in the last third of the book and so many feelings I felt overwhelmed.
🔪🏳️ The sexy times were ridiculously hot and very, very useful since their angry first encounters develop in something else through their sex scenes. That’s not something that usually works for me but in this book fitted perfectly. From amazing angry sex to the feels. Super well done because we get to know them this way, they show us who they are and how they are changing through this encounters. Dan and Vadim bare their souls, leaving YOU naked while they’re discovering each other in a way more deep that the physical one. They feel each other, they get to know each other, they develop an epic love in an hostile environment where living one more day is not granted.

And now, dear friends, dozing (and with reason)I’ll say a goodbye in the cheesy metaphoric way I started, by telling you that I’m glad that I finally took the right exit to the promised land, the cozy hotel I was looking for and with the check-in done, I’m waiting for the elevator to go up to book two: Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I. But tbh, I may need a couple of fluffier books before facing this reality again. Seriously, what the hell is going to happen in 3 more books of 600 pages each?... I don’t know if can manage it since I’m even scared for the elevator to open its doors.



Very recommended read for those who have the guts to face a crude and harsh beginning. The heart warming and the sighing is granted once you get over it. And that’s the main reason why I’m giving it 4 stars instead of the well deserved 5.

Reviews for Book Lovers

[Rosabel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had so many expectations with this book, so many that I didn't want to read it because I thought this was too good for me to spend it, but I've been having issues with books lately, so I grabbed it thinking it would be a sure thing.

It wasn't and I was so surprised by it, but I'm gonna try to keep this short, because I know that a lot of people loved this:

1. This was all sex, every encounter with them happened so they could have sex and the author described every one of them, so you have a long ass book that doesn't contain anything else than that, yes there was a minimal plot of the war, but it was really minimal and it could have been more.

2. I didn't mind the raping or the beating, I understood that it was going to be a book with fucked up dynamics and I was ok with it, what I didn't like about this situations was the way they were presented. The raping happened in Vadim's pov almost, because that shit was confusing, so we didn't have the reaction of Dan to the situation, but when Dan beat the shit out of Vadim, we got it almost all in Vadim's pov so I could sympathize with him. So yeah, I kept reading and I thought: wow, I'm sympathizing more with a rapist than with the guy that almost killed him because of said rape, so yeah, I think the writing should have been equal on that. 🤭🤭

3. I didn't like Dan, I feel he read as a totally different person before the rape, after he was really shitty, every time he opened his mouth was to spell out hate, of everyone, man, women, countries, system and I understood him at the beginning, he was in a real fucked up situation, but it got repetitive wich means that he didn't grew up as a character in 500 fucking pages or was it 700? Well, he kept the same formula and I was done.

4. That I could have lived with because of Vladim, he was also different after the rape, it seemed like they both changed bodies so he got Dan's initial personality and vice-versa, I loved him, I respected him, I loved that he was a silent rock who just took what Dan gave him, not wanting or needing more, wich in my opinion he deserved. My only problem with him was when he talked about his country's politics and it wasn't even because of what is happening right now, I read this a while ago, my problem comes in a personal level, because I can't no longer live in my country because of people who thought like him, who gave power to a cause that didn't exist, that gave power to a madman and well... Given what's happening right now, it's even more hard to ignore his political standing. I know is a really personal reason, but I lost a lot because of it so I can't just ignore it, maybe it is a trigger or something I dunno.

5. The povs were weird as fuck.

The truth is I was expecting more, I thought I would enjoy this but it didn't have substance and the feelings started happening at 89% almost? So yeah, this was not for me. 😬😬😬

Fuck I didn't keep this short, sorry. Jejejejejeje 😬

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning... Cardiac Kevlar strongly recommended before beginning this hardcore-will-kick-your-ass-and-you-will-love it journey.
I thought I was ready...truly I did..I began heavily forewarned & was not alone and yet still nothing could have prepared me for this epic tale (which I am thanking my lucky star is FAR from over).

My heart is battered, my soul is scarred , and I am mutely nodding bug-eyed pleading for more... More Vadim. More Dan. More Vadim & Dan., I am nowhere near close to being able to let go.

I felt like desperate seeker playing a dangerous game..getting stung and zapped and then immediately begging for more. what in the hell is wrong with me???

Forbidden love & blatant detest.
Secrets & lies.
Lust & need.
Life & death.....
I was caught in a tsunami of emotions..
I was spinning, drowning, and choking and had to remind myself to
breathe- just breathe.

Baseline:
Dan- SAS Scottish soldier meets..
Vadim- Soviet Officer.
Initial encounter will sucker punch you in the gut. Violent yet oh so necessary. A fire starts between the two- a scorching inferno. Their paths cross again and again- each just as fiery as the last. As the years pass, their confusing relationship begins to smolder into something deeper & coveted?!?
They bleed, they kill, they dance with death, and then they ultimately love unlike any you've ever encountered.

You know your have been privileged with a rare treasure...a truly precious gift from an author when they're capable of igniting a blaze of emotions within you.
I 'felt' rather than read each page, each paragraph, each word. Absorbed it, seared it, felt it seep into my weary bones.
At times I felt high *ahem, I mean* blissfully content. Then suddenly I felt physically ill. I was a complete and utter disaster, but I wouldn't take back a single tear, newly formed heart murmur or sudden ulcer back. AND I can't wait to do it again.

Is there a support group for Voinov addicts? Because if so, I think I may need a few AVA classes before I begin part 2!

***50 (hard earned) stars!!***