While it is true that I am quite the Dummy, I'm not a Dummy when it comes to The Tudors. I'm a rather big obssesser, in fact. But a) I will always read books about The Tudors, b) I am always craving more information about them that I didn't know, and c) I've never read a For Dummies book. So, hey, why not?
I am chock full of useless information, and it makes me SO HAPPY. A lot of stuff I'd never heard before. Not necessarily about the family itself, but little things about Ye Olde England.
I care very little about the battley stuff, so that slowed me down. But everything else, especially the religious upheaval and unrest, was absolutely fascinating. I REALLY want to read a good book on the Spanish Inquisition now.
Because I just got done drowning in the world of GoT, the comparisons are mind blowing. The world GRRM built is so heavily based on real life, and people should be disturbed. HOWEVER! Illegitimate children weren't shameful. So STFU, Catelyn. /unrelated rant
Now, I present to you! My favorite useless facts I learned while reading this book. In order of when I bookmarked them. Unless I REALLY liked it, then I moved it upward. Which is why they're not numbered.
* Henry VII was the first king to be called "Your Majesty". None of that Your Grace shit.
* The magic phrase hocus pocus comes from the people's garbled version of the communion service - hoc est corpus - "This is the body (of Christ)." -- Whee!!
* Henry VIII's court cost 47,500 (pound key) to run in 1545. I don't even make that a year now. Jesus.
* Under the Sumptuary Law, you could be fined for "dressing above your station". Good lord.
* The Pale was a part of Ireland near Dublin where there were constant battles and skirmishes. No one wanted to go "Beyond the Pale" because it was hopeless. Whee!
* Henry VII taxed the super rich, enabling him to control their wealth and earning him 130,000 (pound symbol) a year. Wait, you mean taxing the rich is a good idea? Who would have ever thought of that?!
* Catherine of Aragon had an affair with a Franciscan monk who may have given her syphillis?!?! (Post-Henry/Anne)
* Henry VIII went to mass five times a day. He was suuuuuuuuuuch an overcompensatin' little shit.
* When Mary was in power, dead heretics' remains were dug up and burned in public. The fuck???
* Edward II was born on my goddaughter's birthday. Aww.
* Henry VIII's (alleged) last words were "Monks, monks, monks." Heh.
* Mary was so sexually naive that when she overheard someone call a lady-in-waiting a whore, she thought it was a compliment and started using it.
* Puritans said if you took the Lord's name in vain, you were punished with an iron spike through the tongue. Jesus, would I be in trouble.
* Elizabeth was accused of being swayed by female emotions. HMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR GOOD THING WE'RE SO MUCH MORE EDUCATED NOW A DAYS.
And I'm done. Well read.