Death Nesting: The Heart-Centered Practices of a Death Doula

by Anne-Marie Keppel, Anne-Marie Keppel

A practical and compassionate guide to physically, emotionally, and spiritually caring for the dying

• Shares practices for emotional soothing, breathing techniques to reduce anxiety and pain, ways to reduce stress during the active dying process, and techniques to physically care for the dying, including methods to assist bedridden individuals

• Explores ceremony and energetic boundary guidelines, Reiki and ancestral support techniques, and herbal care for nourishing and healing on a spirit level

• Presents self-care methods for moving with grief, ideas for “things to do” when there is nothing to do, mindfulness practices for contemplating your own mortality, as well as guidance for talking with children about death and dying

• Winner of a 2020 Independent Publisher “IPPY” award

Just as we might prepare a nest for one about to give birth, so can we lovingly prepare a nest for one who is dying.

In this practical and compassionate guide, death doula educator Anne-Marie Keppel incorporates ancient and modern techniques, mindfulness practices, and herbal support to show how anyone can care for the dying, whether at home, in hospice, or even in the ICU. She demystifies the dying process by explaining what the body goes through during end of life and presents practices for emotional soothing and other ways to reduce stress and anxiety during the active dying process. The author provides techniques to physically care for the dying, including methods to assist bedridden individuals. She shares ceremony and energetic boundary guidelines, Reiki and ancestral support techniques, and herbal care for nourishing and healing on a spirit level.

Providing support for caregivers and loved ones as well, Anne-Marie explores self-care methods for moving with grief, ideas for “things to do” when there is nothing to do, and mindfulness practices for contemplating your own mortality. She also offers visualizations and techniques for talking with children about death and dying.

Sharing glimpses into the world of spirit to reveal the poignancy of the dying process, the author shows that death is a sacred rite of passage we all experience.

Genres: Nonfiction, Death, Spirituality

215 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 15, 2023

Reviews

[Leah McCall · Rating 5 out of 5]

The world needs this book. It not only has practical steps to engage with end of life institutional care—paperwork, note-taking, and the like—but the power of this book lies in its ability to bring back the role in the family and loved ones as someone makes their transition to the other side. It does this by educating the common person about what practical things a person who is dying will experience and how to help them. Death Nesting is at once a guide to understanding and managing the experience of death with a loved one and also a tool of empowerment for everyone involved. We can’t always choose when death will come, but we can understand it, prepare for it, and help the person who is transitioning with as much comfort and care and wisdom as possible. Anne-Marie’s gift is in drawing the family and loved ones back to the beautiful, natural, mystical, and powerful art of caring for their person who is dying and in giving those doing the care the tools and information they will need to assist in the transition. I share this book with everyone I know and suggest we all read it and have it on the shelf for when we need it. I thank Anne-Marie for this beautiful gift she’s given the world, where death is made unnatural, taboo to discuss, and to be feared. None of which is true.

[vicinthemeadow · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautiful introductory guide to caring for the dying! The author presents this book in an easily digestible way with many tips along the way. She is so open about privilege and systemic issues within the death care system as well. Highly recommend for others interested in this topic!

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very wonderful and lots of resources 🙏

[Diana Gonsalves Hansen · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was young and family passed we always had a wake. Although it was good to honor our dead in some sacred way something about this experience was telling me that we had it all wrong. It felt like a cold distant way to honor our beloved and I felt cut off from their bodies as they looked strange to me in the casket with their makeup done. I always felt drawn to another way to honor our loved ones but didn’t know what that should be. Not only did Anne-Marie’s book answer these long held questions of mine but also validated my feeling of being robbed of my sacred time with a loved one that had passed. This book is a true guide, and a gentle, nourishing manual for all of us on how to not just tend to our dying loved ones but also tend to ourselves during this process. This book brings back the sacredness, the slowness of honoring the passage of death, the physical bodies release, and all that comes of this experience. The chapter on grief was especially supportive to me at this time after loosing a most beloved family member too fast and so suddenly. The trauma we can experience when this occurs is so tender, and this chapter was a supportive guide on the many steps we can take and tools we can reach for to walk us through the at time’s harrowing experience of grief. I’m so grateful this book is here with us and as my elders have begun to leave me, I will keep this book at my side, to guide me, for every transition to come.

[Holyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a hospice chaplain, this book provides a different framework and lens for me to use….while also affirming some of my current practices. Considering the role of a modern death doula alongside an ancient death doula was interesting and a helpful distinction.

[Sherri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Death Nesting is an enlightening book that delves into the profoundly important concept of preparing a "nest" for someone who is dying, akin to how we prepare for the joyous arrival of a newborn. This book is essential for creating a nurturing, safe, and comforting environment for your loved ones during their final moments.

Authored by Anne-Marie Keppel, Death Nesting stands as a vital resource for anyone looking to support a loved one through the dying process. It offers a holistic approach to care—encompassing physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects—drawing from both ancient wisdom and contemporary death doula techniques. The information within these pages aims to empower you, instilling reassurance and confidence as you navigate this challenging journey.

More than just a collection of theories, this book serves as a practical guide with invaluable insights applicable at every stage of the dying process. It explores various techniques from the realms of ancient traditions and modern practices, emphasizing the emotional and spiritual support needed by both the individual facing death and their caregivers. Discover actionable advice on cultivating a compassionate environment, alleviating pain and discomfort, and walking through the emotional landscape of dying and caregiving.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I found this book to include many profound and practical suggestions and practices that have the potential to be very helpful to anyone caring for someone experiencing the end of their life, or planning for their own. On the other hand, there are some things suggested herein that, for many living in the modern Western world, are impractical and unworkable. One thing that stood out to me was the perspective that you don't necessarily need to get trained and certified as a death doula to work effectively with people entering or experiencing their end-of-life journey, but for many of us, the formal training and credential can be an asset to put yourself on a solid pathway to do this kind of work and find tried-and-true methods for getting beyond our societal obstacles to facing death head on and with reverence. All in all, even with my caveats, I can highly recommend this book.

[Tara Brabazon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great title. There are strategies presented about organizing inner and outer nests. What is important is a list of key questions to get answered before active dying commences.

There is also attention to the sensory experiences of death to prepare caregivers. Very important.

There is a lot of mindfulness and herb recommendations in the book. Good luck with that. But there is some solid and clear advice here, at a crucial time of preparation for a death.

[Samarium Gibson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insight in the practice of deathcare. Death has become a taboo for people of the younger generation opting to censor out the words such as death, dead, died, and dying. This book essentially pushes the message of death being only part of life. “If we ignore death, we’re only living half a life.” This really resonated. Amazing read!! Definitely worth taking notes.

[Jamie Truman]

While I don’t think this book / guide is everyone’s cup of tea, it was very nourishing: “Just as we might prepare a nest for one about to give birth, so can we lovingly prepare a nest for one who is dying.”

Some key takeaways - preparing for death is privilege, sometimes all there is to do is sit in “great love,” and this is a deeply personal time that all will approach differently.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely fantastic because it addresses so many layers of the dying process, and those who are inspired, can care for their loved ones in a thorough, compassionate, loving way. I absolutely recommend this book and working with the author. We do not know when death with come but this book will help lessen the fear. I’m eternally grateful for it.

[Lyndsey Bradley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite beautiful. I'll keep this on my shelf because inevitably, it will be a useful tool.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sensitive and tender...I will buy a copy of this book and refer to it over and over again. Anyone interested in preparing for death or the death of loved ones, even a pet, will find this book a gift.

[Bridgett Crutchfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, powerful and poignant. She touched so many points and was thoughtful enough to touch on issues in the black community. She also considered animals who pass away 💗

Thank you.

[Nicole Bergen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet and gentle book about caring for yourself or someone you love during the dying process by a death doula. Has both spiritual/emotional and practical advice.

[Malayna · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO SO SO GOOD!

[Lisa Moyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource for folks that teach or work with death and dying. Some remarkable tips that I haven’t seen anywhere else. Great book!

[Līna · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deeply compassionate practical guide on caring for a dying loved one - while also taking care of yourself through the journey.

[Sandra L. Place · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book touches the heart of the work of the death doula. She perfectly framed my how and why approaches to caring for those facing death. It is an amazing read.

[Jean Becker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book discussion pick so we took our time reading and discussing. It is probably the most niche book I’ve ever read. Very compassionately done. The anecdotes were very helpful.

[Jane Beard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super useful ideas and insights for people, whether watching a loved one or experiencing their own life-limiting illness.

[Natasha Brittain · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was beautiful and enlightening.

[Narise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This guide had a lot of helpful and interesting information. There were things presented that I'd never thought about, such as the incorporation of sounds (as hearing is the last sense to go for someone who is dying) and the fact that deathcare is healthcare. I liked the idea that the space where you will draw your final breath can be anything you can imagine (with the exception of sudden, unexpected death, of course), and that preparing for your death can start with being present in the moment and kind to others in your day-to-day life. Overall, the book was a little hippy dippy for my tastes, and I felt the author could've incorporated dealing with sudden/tragic death, but I appreciated how warm and otherwise comprehensive this was.