Conscious Communication - How to Establish Healthy Relationships and Resolve Conflict Peacefully while Maintaining Independence

by Miles Sherts

Looking for a better, more effective way, to resolve conflict, have more meaningful conversations and build relationships? This is it! We humans spend a lot of time talking, and with cell phones and the internet our daily contacts with each other have exploded. Yet we rarely pay attention to how we communicate, and all this talk has not improved our relationships. Many of us don't know how to share our feelings and needs without blame, or hear about another person s experience without judgment. And often we leave a conversation without a deeper sense of understanding or connection. Conscious Communication offers a new approach which leads to greater understanding instead of further division. Practical skills and basic relationship tools enable us to stay connected while recognizing our differences, and see other people as allies instead of adversaries. As we let go of our impulse to be ''right,'' and focus instead on what we need to be happy, we see how joining with other people can dissolve our isolation and provide a real sense of belonging and security.

Genres: Relationships

344 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2010

Reviews

[Sara Dehaan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an extraordinarily compassionate book for both the self and the people we care about. We get into trouble in our relationships when we blame others for our feelings and respond defensively when we hurt someone else’s. Our closest relationships—especially romantic ones, where our old childhood wounds can become easily and mysteriously triggered—can sometimes set off damaging communication habits in an instant. Miles advises us to be self-aware, slow down, and be intentional about how we communicate and why; do the personal work of regulating our emotions by understanding our wounds from the past. He advises being totally present in the moment, before we approach negotiating through conflicts or having sensitive conversations. The book also suggests specific language that helps us support others. He offers communication choices that are about an everyday practice of being loving: helping someone feel seen, safe, respected, and equal. Essential ideas are explained metaphorically which helped me remember key concepts. The book is filled with stories and examples and a few exercises that really aid in understanding a more compassionate way of communicating. He says the relationships are about healing and personal growth and supporting others to do the same, a wonderfully uplifting reminder.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

We didn't I read this 10 years ago? Why hasn't everyone read this book 10 years ago?

An amazing primer on being a better communicator, with concrete techniques and applications that people can use. Really great.