The Cobra and the Key: A Novel

by Sam Shelstad

Sam Shelstad’s brilliantly funny, slightly unhinged creative writing guide is How Fiction Works by James Wood meets Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov. To the untrained eye, Sam Shelstad may look a lot like a Value Village cashier who shares an apartment with his Uncle Herman and has just emerged from a failed relationship with a woman forty years his senior whom he met at his mother’s book club. But Sam is a successful novelist—or will be soon, he’s certain. The manuscript of his debut novel, The Emerald , is currently on the desk of a celebrated indie publisher. While he waits to hear back, he’s hard at work on two ambitious writing projects. The first is the Molly novel, a fictional rendering of Sam’s newly defunct relationship. The second is a guide for aspiring fiction writers like yourself. The two have much to teach one another, and much to teach you. Drawing on examples from the work of greats like George Orwell, Henry James, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Alice Munro, Kazuo Ishiguro, Clarise Lispector, and Sam Shelstad, The Cobra and the Key takes the novice through aspects of character, detail, plot, style, point of view, dialogue, and meaning. Before long, you’ll be ready to print off your first draft and embark on revisions. Then it’s time to learn some of the tricks of the publishing biz. Having just been threatened with legal action by his soon-to-be publisher for stalking said publisher’s son via Instagram, Sam knows a thing or two about that too. Are you ready to get serious about your writing?

Genres: Fiction, Canada

258 pages, Paperback

Published October 10, 2023

Reviews

[George Ilsley · Rating 4 out of 5]

The narrator of this novel is an unpublished writer who gives writing advice, with examples from literature, while being entirely oblivious to his own lack of insight, contradictions, judgments, and limitations.

Hilarity ensues. The chapters are all bite-sized. For romantic advice, following his break-up, the narrator says this: "The life of an artist is one of passion and intensity, but there is a trade-off. ... ...While there are some minor drawbacks, it's actually quite an honour to be dating a writer. It might be helpful to remind your romantic partners of this fact."

I laughed out loud at this, but eventually this sort of oblivious world view became a bit predictable. I enjoyed reading this novel, and it does offer solid writing advice, even if all the examples are misshapen and askew.

Publishing advice, and rejection letters, and much else from the writing world — all painfully true. The laughter always is one of recognition.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE COBRA AND THE KEY by Sam Shelstad is an extremely funny novel!! This book make me laugh so many times. It’s about Sam, who shares his tips on how to write a novel while working on his novel about his break up. It’s such a fun satirical autofiction. I think if you’re a writer or reader you’ll really enjoy the humour in this book! I really enjoyed how it’s written like a writing guide with short chapters on Character, Plot, Point of View, Dialogue, etc. I definitely recommend this novel if you’re in the mood for a good laugh!

Thank you to Touchwood Editions for my gifted review copy!

[Caleb Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious, I laughed out loud more times than I can count (and I mean laughed, not just a nose exhale). Especially recommended for any writers

[Anne Logan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The more I read, the more I realize how much I enjoy a book with humour woven through it. I love something that makes me laugh, so when a story is suggested to me that’s going to do just that, I typically jump at it. The Cobra and the Key by Sam Shelstad was presented to me as a funny take on a non-fiction book about writing, but in actuality a work of fiction about a young man who is a cashier at Value Village. It was such a unique premise for a book I just had to read it, if only to see how it was done. It was definitely odd, it did make me chuckle, but will likely only appeal to a select few.

Plot Summary

The narrator Sam has written this book as a guide to help writers at the beginning of their career. It contains advice on character building, plotting, dialogue, point of view, editing, even some tips on navigating the publishing business itself. Split into sections detailing each phase of the writing process, Sam gives lots of examples from his own experience, and this is how the reader learns more about Sam. For instance, we learn that he has never actually had anything published, in fact, one small publisher was interested in his manuscript titled “The Emerald,” but Sam harassed him so much that he was threatened with legal action. We also learn that Sam has just recently broken up with his girlfriend Molly, who is actually friends with his mother, and forty years his senior. Sam lives with his Uncle Herman who he claims is mentally ill, but the more of Sam that is revealed to us, the more we question his judgements as Sam is clearly an unreliable narrator. Some of the writing advice is reasonable, but much of it is silly or downright ridiculous, so the real humour comes from Sam’s lack of self-awareness. A work of satire, readers are ‘in on the joke’ for most of it, and writers and those who work in publishing will enjoy this book the most as many publishing myths are picked up on and mocked.

My Thoughts

As I mentioned above, this is a book that will delight a few, but likely confuse others. I was entertained by it because I know lots of writers, and lots of people in the publishing industry. We will all understand the jokes, recognize ourselves in some of the stereotypes, and generally laugh at how silly the writing business can actually be. But as I made my way through the very short chapters (generally each piece of advice is one page long, sometimes only a paragraph long), I also began to wonder, what is the point of this book? Humour, definitely. But for those who aren’t familiar with the book world, they may find this novel tedious, as it doesn’t include any sort of story arc or conflict. It’s basically just a book of an individual’s ramblings, and if you don’t feel as though you are part of the joke, one could easily become frustrated by the pointlessness of it all.

The humour is very well done, and I marked quite a few pages that contained some of my favourite quotes. Here’s one that authors of all stripes (including their friends and family) will enjoy, as it desribes the experience of being with a writer:

“Here I am, these significant others must think, wondering what to eat for dinner like a simpleton, while the mind of the person I’m holding hands with is a million miles away, contemplating complex societies of people they invented, with all these characters gracefully interacting and creating moments of pure gravitas. While there are some minor drawbacks, it’s actually quite an honour to be dating a writer. It might be helpful to remind your romantic partners of this fact.”

-p.12 of The Cobra and the Key by Sam Shelstad
I read this book straight through, which I don’t recommend doing. This is like a short story collection, best dipped in and out of. If I had read it in spurts, I likely would have enjoyed it more because I would have limited my expectations -this isn’t a story you can become absorbed in, as it has no plot. It would make a great gift for any writer however; those just beginning, or those who have experienced some success already.

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[Emmett Grogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started to keep track of how many times this novel made me laugh, but gave up when the count got over 20 -- I figured it would just be easier to count the pages, than the laughs, because there is something funny on almost every page, and most pages, I laughed more than once.

The know-it-all who understands nothing is a great character for comedy, but "The Cobra and the Key" is special because the humour springs from the author's wide-ranging knowledge of the literary world -- chapter 65, *cough-cough* -- and how fiction in the wrong mind, can be warped to rationalize bad creative decisions. Great stuff!

[Sean Kottke · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Jólabókaflóðið selection for 2023, generously spread out over the subsequent week. An excerpt was the first selection in this year’s short story Adventure calendar. It was such a delightful read to kick off the season that I immediately ordered the complete book. In my teaching career, I rarely spent much time on creative writing. If I were to take another English teaching gig, I would weave this book into the curriculum in a heartbeat. Not for literary analysis to kill the comic spirit, but rather as a launchpad to exploring - and then lampooning - the elements of fiction and style. Brief chapters, laugh out loud content on every page, and the richest feast of irony this side of Nabokov. Loved it!

[Alec Sampaleanu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hilarious satire of a writing guide. Shelstad is able to write something that is incredibly in touch with the era, without seeming cringey or pandering. Also, he's a home-town author, and it's fun to see how he ties in mentions of Toronto alongside his diversions about how to plot a story (make sure that there is a murderous rampage whenever you find the action slowing down too much) and what details should be included when describing a character (every character should have some trait that makes them memorable—consider giving each character a physical deformity so they aren't forgettable).

[Joe Norman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine being introduced to a person. You meet initially and everything is good. Oddly, the person juggled all during your get together. But you really wanted to like this person. You meet again and again and again-each time the juggling never stops. You give up.
This author fell in love with a cool idea-write a novel in the guise of an awful guide to good writing. Props for the idea-but the book fails completely as a satire of writing guides and piece of fiction. The author could never get out of his own way. Too much juggling.

[Matt Trocchi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super light and enjoyable read, a perfect start to the year. A satirical take on a creative writing guide that had me howling. I loved the narrator and prose, and thought this was done in a very clever way.

PS: although I haven’t seen Sam in years, he was such a warm presence in the music scene we were both part of in London, ON ten odd years ago. Glad to see him continuing to be so creative, and doing well 🤘

[David Sealy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Writing is hard, and slogging through how-to books on the craft is no picnic either. For your consideration, I submit The Cobra and the Key. It’s all here: the epic overconfidence, delusion, and crippling insecurity that is the writer’s lot. Some hilariously misguided advice coupled with undeniable wisdom. As always, take what you need and leave the rest. As your typical rejection letter says, keep writing! Especially if your book is as fun as this one!

[Kbeckermann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was intrigued throughout this book, the protagonist is a writer writing about how to write a book. Throughout he weaves in his own struggles to get his novel published and his desire to get back together with his ex. He is quite the character, not exactly likeable, and somehow endearing. The plot is predictable. Not a must read, and intriguing enough to make me glad I read it.

[Benjamin Kahn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny book. A very quick read. I could see how the humour might start to grate for some people, but I enjoyed it through to the end. I enjoyed the format of having the novel structured as a guide for aspiring writers, and the cleverness of the writing. A fun read, and definitely a welcome break from some of the heavier stuff that I've found myself reading lately.

[Cynthia Simpson · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are an aspiring author and want a guide to how to write, read this book and do the exact opposite of what the main character suggests! Definitely an entertaining work with great humour and an absolutely hopeless protagonist. Another engaging Sam Shelstad novel.

[Louis Pigeon-Owen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some lovely meta mania!

Shelstad’s novel is honestly a genuinely insightful guide for aspiring writers, once you’ve sifted through its many layers of irony that is.

Formally inventive, devastatingly funny and only sometimes gimmicky.

Molly deserved better!

[Michael LaPointe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The rarest of all things—a genuinely funny book.

[Daniel KML · Rating 3 out of 5]

A satire on creative writing guides. If you are interested in the craft behind the art of fiction, you will definitely have a laugh.

[Craig Illman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous

Can't wait to read The Emerald. Learned so much about writing techniques and methods of enhancing prose in my writing.

[Russell Field · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 maybe. Not for me. Conceit of the novel wore thin.

[Jodie Siu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and so incisive. I tore through this book, often laughing out loud. The structure as a writing guide was inspired.

[Cristina Simonetto · Rating 2 out of 5]

I laughed a couple of times but mostly I wished something would happen. Meh.

[Tom Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny.

[SILLYFOAL · Rating 3 out of 5]

Flimsy whimsical what the fuck

[Eloise Knight · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very nice little short read. I laughed out loud at this genuinely so many times and on occasion in public settings, which goes to show just how funny it is. The narrative that's interspersed throughout the 'writing advice' is entertainingly constructed, and the narrator, Sam is so hilariously stupid.