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The Marrying Kind
Wedding planner Adam More has an He has devoted all his life’s energy to creating events that he and his partner Steven are forbidden by federal law for having for themselves. So Adam decides to make a change. Organizing a boycott of the wedding industry, Steven and Adam call on gay organists, hairdressers, cater-waiters, priests, and hairdressers everywhere to get out of the business and to stop going to weddings, too. In this screwball, romantic comedy both the movement they’ve begun and their relationship are put in jeopardy when Steven’s brother proposes to Adam’s sister and they must decide whether they’re attending or sending regrets.
264 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2010
4 people are currently reading
344 people want to read
About the author
Ken O'Neill
2 books38 followersThe Marrying Kind won The Rainbow Award for best debut 2012. IT won a silver medal at the 2013 Independent Publisher Awards (The IPPY). It was a finalist for the 2013 International Book Awards (LGBT Fiction). The Marrying Kind was also included on Smart Bitches Trashy Books list of three favorite books of 2012.
Ken Lives in NYC with his husband and their two cats and is at work on his third novel.
Ken Lives in NYC with his husband and their two cats and is at work on his third novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
February 17, 2012
I wrote this novel so perhaps my five stars are not to be trusted. But how many books can make you laugh about inequality? I think "The Marrying Kind" could really be a catalyst for change with regard to segregated marriage laws.
I hope so, anyway.
I had this idea that if I wrote a novel that was really funny and mainstream but also had a strong POV about equality that folks would read this book, and laugh so much that at the end they wouldn't even realize that I had convinced them that we all deserve to be equal. They would just think they had always been on the right side of history. Good idea? If you think so please buy a copy, read it, and tell your friends about it. Thanks!
I hope so, anyway.
I had this idea that if I wrote a novel that was really funny and mainstream but also had a strong POV about equality that folks would read this book, and laugh so much that at the end they wouldn't even realize that I had convinced them that we all deserve to be equal. They would just think they had always been on the right side of history. Good idea? If you think so please buy a copy, read it, and tell your friends about it. Thanks!
July 10, 2012
Review posted at The Armchair Reader.
This is a book that I want everyone I know to read!
I've been eyeing this book for a while, especially altering seeing some great reviews. I think I was most intrigued because this book is about a different side of gay marriage that I've read before. From the very first page, I was in love Steven's voice.
It all starts when Steven starts to notice Adam changing. They've been partners for about 7 years, and they generally seem like the perfect couple -- they have two children (well, cats), they watch old movies together, and they are similar and different in all the right ways -- essentially, they're quietly compatible. Steven's nature is to let Adam's changes slide until he starts to get freaked out that something really, no really serious is going on. Then, Adam decides to take action. He's tired of planning weddings for people when he can't have a "real" one of his own.
They decide to do what they can to spread their message. Steven uses his column with The Gay New York Times to spread their message and implore those who agree to boycott the wedding industry. Unfortunately, at about the same time as the column goes live, Adam's sister and Steven's brother who have been dating for a while now decide to get married. What do they do? The problems really start to escalate when people catch onto their message, driving a huge wedge between their families.
Told through Steven's publicly quiet demeanor but inner snarky voice, The Marrying Kind doesn't let up from the moment the story starts. Steven's narration switches consistently from present quick paced wit to memory, history, and cultural references, all offering some insight to the present. His voice is so funny that I laughed out loud throughout the entire book and was marking passages on my Kindle over and over.
The activism in this novel might be the spark, the catalyst that sets everything in motion and the undercurrent that keeps it moving forward. It also holds a huge message for readers. That message is achieved, though, through the shifting familial ties and family dysfunction that laces them all together. It's a bit like looking at two sides of a coin -- when the shit hits the fan, everyone is facing everyone else's ugly sides. It's the way that families are, and I really have to give this author props, especially for such a resounding job in his first novel. I always admire authors who can truly juggle a large cast, without dropping anyone and continually interlacing their actions and emotions throughout the group. This author does that really well here, usually offering Steven as the observer, quietly narrating (with his own hilarious commentary) as it all happens. The fact that the story never loses sight of the fact that they're a family, a truly mashed up American family, takes the story from admirable to heartwarming.
There is really a lot to recommend about this romantic comedy. New York City is almost a second character and I love when authors really get that right. The voice of Steven is pivotal to the story. Despite bringing all the charm and quirky insight to the story, the events could have turned the tone a bit depressing in another character's point of view. Instead, Steven is constantly avoiding the real issues with anything he can think of until he truly has to face them. The secondary characters really sparkle, especially in ensemble settings.
I really think this is a book that people will love and I hope that more people hear about it. I know I'll be doing my best to recommend it to everyone I know!
I love Ken O'Neill's review of his book!
This is a book that I want everyone I know to read!
I've been eyeing this book for a while, especially altering seeing some great reviews. I think I was most intrigued because this book is about a different side of gay marriage that I've read before. From the very first page, I was in love Steven's voice.
It all starts when Steven starts to notice Adam changing. They've been partners for about 7 years, and they generally seem like the perfect couple -- they have two children (well, cats), they watch old movies together, and they are similar and different in all the right ways -- essentially, they're quietly compatible. Steven's nature is to let Adam's changes slide until he starts to get freaked out that something really, no really serious is going on. Then, Adam decides to take action. He's tired of planning weddings for people when he can't have a "real" one of his own.
They decide to do what they can to spread their message. Steven uses his column with The Gay New York Times to spread their message and implore those who agree to boycott the wedding industry. Unfortunately, at about the same time as the column goes live, Adam's sister and Steven's brother who have been dating for a while now decide to get married. What do they do? The problems really start to escalate when people catch onto their message, driving a huge wedge between their families.
Told through Steven's publicly quiet demeanor but inner snarky voice, The Marrying Kind doesn't let up from the moment the story starts. Steven's narration switches consistently from present quick paced wit to memory, history, and cultural references, all offering some insight to the present. His voice is so funny that I laughed out loud throughout the entire book and was marking passages on my Kindle over and over.
The activism in this novel might be the spark, the catalyst that sets everything in motion and the undercurrent that keeps it moving forward. It also holds a huge message for readers. That message is achieved, though, through the shifting familial ties and family dysfunction that laces them all together. It's a bit like looking at two sides of a coin -- when the shit hits the fan, everyone is facing everyone else's ugly sides. It's the way that families are, and I really have to give this author props, especially for such a resounding job in his first novel. I always admire authors who can truly juggle a large cast, without dropping anyone and continually interlacing their actions and emotions throughout the group. This author does that really well here, usually offering Steven as the observer, quietly narrating (with his own hilarious commentary) as it all happens. The fact that the story never loses sight of the fact that they're a family, a truly mashed up American family, takes the story from admirable to heartwarming.
There is really a lot to recommend about this romantic comedy. New York City is almost a second character and I love when authors really get that right. The voice of Steven is pivotal to the story. Despite bringing all the charm and quirky insight to the story, the events could have turned the tone a bit depressing in another character's point of view. Instead, Steven is constantly avoiding the real issues with anything he can think of until he truly has to face them. The secondary characters really sparkle, especially in ensemble settings.
I really think this is a book that people will love and I hope that more people hear about it. I know I'll be doing my best to recommend it to everyone I know!
I love Ken O'Neill's review of his book!
June 18, 2012
As I was browsing through NetGalley I happened on this book. I glanced at the cover, read the blurb, and thought maybe not. Then I looked at the author's name, and thought maybe yes.
A M/M romance written by a man? Definitely, yes.
Skimming through the blurb I thought this book would be more about Adam, the wedding planner who quits his job in protest until he can legally marry his partner Steven, but as it turns out it's not. It's more about Steven, the columnist for The Gay New York Times, with a Romanian family and more than his share of neuroses. He tells the story of how their wedding boycott started and how others embraced it. He shows how the wedding plans of their siblings created conflict not only between them and their families but between Adam and Steven and their cats too.
The Marrying Kind is written in first person limited there's only one way to win me as a reader over once that writing choice has been made: The narrator's voice. I'll either love it, tolerate it, or hate it. While I can't claim to be ready to drop down on one knee and profess my undying love, neither can I dismiss O'Neill's writing as merely tolerable.
Despite the slow start I found myself swept away even by the long paragraphs flashing back to Steven's childhood and other significant moments of his life that usually annoy me with all that telling going on. And then there were the moments of showing. I might have awed a couple of times, but I was usually giggling, cackling, or guffawing loud enough to scare the unsuspecting passes-by depending on the moment. Most of my status updates are direct quotes from those moments I once again scared the neighbours.
The book is filled with classical film references some of which I recognised and others didn't. Luckily, the author provides a short summary for the relevant parts. One thing the book isn't filled with is erotica. The plot doesn't dissolve into pure porn and there is exactly one reference to a sex scene and it's vague. That fact almost makes me want to give this book an extra star.
Though, I've shelved this book under romance, it's more than that. The story is set in New York in 2007 when gay marriage was yet not legal in the state. It's about fighting what's right and making your family see it. It's about the reality of a stable relationship and accepting your partner as is. It's about showing why equal rights should be equal.
I couldn't recommend this book more if I tried.
I received an Advanced Readers Copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.
A M/M romance written by a man? Definitely, yes.
Skimming through the blurb I thought this book would be more about Adam, the wedding planner who quits his job in protest until he can legally marry his partner Steven, but as it turns out it's not. It's more about Steven, the columnist for The Gay New York Times, with a Romanian family and more than his share of neuroses. He tells the story of how their wedding boycott started and how others embraced it. He shows how the wedding plans of their siblings created conflict not only between them and their families but between Adam and Steven and their cats too.
The Marrying Kind is written in first person limited there's only one way to win me as a reader over once that writing choice has been made: The narrator's voice. I'll either love it, tolerate it, or hate it. While I can't claim to be ready to drop down on one knee and profess my undying love, neither can I dismiss O'Neill's writing as merely tolerable.
Despite the slow start I found myself swept away even by the long paragraphs flashing back to Steven's childhood and other significant moments of his life that usually annoy me with all that telling going on. And then there were the moments of showing. I might have awed a couple of times, but I was usually giggling, cackling, or guffawing loud enough to scare the unsuspecting passes-by depending on the moment. Most of my status updates are direct quotes from those moments I once again scared the neighbours.
The book is filled with classical film references some of which I recognised and others didn't. Luckily, the author provides a short summary for the relevant parts. One thing the book isn't filled with is erotica. The plot doesn't dissolve into pure porn and there is exactly one reference to a sex scene and it's vague. That fact almost makes me want to give this book an extra star.
Though, I've shelved this book under romance, it's more than that. The story is set in New York in 2007 when gay marriage was yet not legal in the state. It's about fighting what's right and making your family see it. It's about the reality of a stable relationship and accepting your partner as is. It's about showing why equal rights should be equal.
I couldn't recommend this book more if I tried.
I received an Advanced Readers Copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.
June 20, 2012
4.5 stars
I was initially attracted to this book because the blurb reminded me of the movie Wedding Wars (the similarities remain superficial), because this is the author's first book and the theme of the book could not be more relevant. I am glad to say that the book surpassed my every expectation.
This is not a romance, but it is romantic and it is a book about love – love between partners and family love. While the theme is serious, the narrative tone is light and humorous which actually helped the message of the book – it never felt preachy and the serious parts had much more impact. The story is also heartwarming and touching. You will laugh and, if you are anything like me, you will sniffle a bit. The characters are fantastic – three-dimensional and believable. You know these people.
The story is set in 2007, before New York legalized gay marriage. The narrator is Steven Worth, a 33-year-old neurotic, self-deprecating, dilatory columnist for the Gay New York Times. He is in a six-year relationship with Adam More, a hardworking wedding planner. He enjoys their happy domesticity and likes cleaning and cooking for his man. The men are in love, content, surrounded by supportive friends and family. They even played matchmakers for their siblings – Steven's brother Peter and Adam's sister Amanda.
But, Adam lately suffers from bizarre nightmares; he is distracted and rarely smiles. Steven is concerned until Adam comes home one day to announce that he is giving up his wedding business. He'd had enough of planning other people's weddings. Until he and Steven can legally wed, he will not plan or attend another wedding or buy wedding gifts. Steven uses his column to invite other GLBT people in the business to join the boycott and the response is overwhelming. But then Peter and Amanda announce their wedding and things get complicated. Hilarity and heartbreak ensue.
At first, Steven and Adam enjoy the attention and the free time they can spend together, but soon they have to face the consequences: people getting fired, Adam's declining business, turbulent relations with family and friends. Steven has more and more trouble to reconcile the cause with family obligations and Adam's behavior turns obsessive, so much so that he starts hurting their mutual friends. These things start affecting their relationship and even threaten to destroy it.
There are so many things that worked in this novel that this little review cannot possibly cover them all. I adored Steven's voice and the way his memories of his childhood and relationship with Adam gave us almost a complete picture of their lives. He is an endearingly neurotic, honest, witty narrator with a few lingering hang-ups from his youth and complex, but loving relationships with his family. His love for Adam clearly jumped off the pages. Also, from Onda, Steven's Romanian-American mother, to Brad, his first boyfriend and boss, from Amanda, Adam's sister, to Gail, Steven's colleague and best friend, O'Neill's characterization is fantastic. As I said at the beginning, you know these people or, at least, you know people like them: a middle aged man obsessed with weight and youth like Brad or a relative – both exasperating and charming like Onda. Trust me, I live a border away from Romania and, yes, people like her do exist. In addition, humor is such a cultural and personal affair that it's tricky for an author to reach a wide audience successfully. I am happy to say that O'Neill's humor worked perfectly for me, even though I live on a different continent.
I have to admit that I couldn't see how the author would resolve the central conflict. The little things – little hurts and snubs – pile up until both men have to ask themselves: Where do you draw the line when facing injustice? Do you stay true to the cause that is essential to your life or to your family which was always supportive to you? What are you willing to sacrifice? Obviously, something's got to give. While the cynic in me wanted to protest (feebly) that things rarely work out so well in real life, that people are rarely that understanding, the romantic in me thought that O'Neill chose the perfect ending for his book and his characters. I loved it! Especially after one particularly moving scene towards the end of the book that will surely tug at your heartstrings and underline the painful injustice gay couples suffer every day.
I have one niggle that kept me from giving the book the highest rating. While I never doubted men's feelings, I found Adam's transformation from how Steven initially described him to obsessive activist a bit hard to swallow. Perhaps his point of view would have helped there, but then The Marrying Kind wouldn't be the same book. Still, I would have liked to know what was happening in his head. I suspect that this book will get even better on the second (and third) reading though, so don't be surprised if you come back one day in the near future to find the rating raised.
At first, I wanted to include a few quotes in my review to illustrate the humor and wonderful little touches that made this book so appealing (like references to the men's favorite movies, etc.), but I decided against it so you can experience the complexity of the book yourself. The Marrying Kind is a humorous and heartfelt story that speaks about serious issues in a very accessible way. I can't imagine a better way to spend a few hours. And, if you want to help marriage equality – give or lend this story to someone. I am looking forward Mr. O'Neill's next book.
Highly, highly recommended.
Written for Reviews by Jessewave.
I was initially attracted to this book because the blurb reminded me of the movie Wedding Wars (the similarities remain superficial), because this is the author's first book and the theme of the book could not be more relevant. I am glad to say that the book surpassed my every expectation.
This is not a romance, but it is romantic and it is a book about love – love between partners and family love. While the theme is serious, the narrative tone is light and humorous which actually helped the message of the book – it never felt preachy and the serious parts had much more impact. The story is also heartwarming and touching. You will laugh and, if you are anything like me, you will sniffle a bit. The characters are fantastic – three-dimensional and believable. You know these people.
The story is set in 2007, before New York legalized gay marriage. The narrator is Steven Worth, a 33-year-old neurotic, self-deprecating, dilatory columnist for the Gay New York Times. He is in a six-year relationship with Adam More, a hardworking wedding planner. He enjoys their happy domesticity and likes cleaning and cooking for his man. The men are in love, content, surrounded by supportive friends and family. They even played matchmakers for their siblings – Steven's brother Peter and Adam's sister Amanda.
But, Adam lately suffers from bizarre nightmares; he is distracted and rarely smiles. Steven is concerned until Adam comes home one day to announce that he is giving up his wedding business. He'd had enough of planning other people's weddings. Until he and Steven can legally wed, he will not plan or attend another wedding or buy wedding gifts. Steven uses his column to invite other GLBT people in the business to join the boycott and the response is overwhelming. But then Peter and Amanda announce their wedding and things get complicated. Hilarity and heartbreak ensue.
At first, Steven and Adam enjoy the attention and the free time they can spend together, but soon they have to face the consequences: people getting fired, Adam's declining business, turbulent relations with family and friends. Steven has more and more trouble to reconcile the cause with family obligations and Adam's behavior turns obsessive, so much so that he starts hurting their mutual friends. These things start affecting their relationship and even threaten to destroy it.
There are so many things that worked in this novel that this little review cannot possibly cover them all. I adored Steven's voice and the way his memories of his childhood and relationship with Adam gave us almost a complete picture of their lives. He is an endearingly neurotic, honest, witty narrator with a few lingering hang-ups from his youth and complex, but loving relationships with his family. His love for Adam clearly jumped off the pages. Also, from Onda, Steven's Romanian-American mother, to Brad, his first boyfriend and boss, from Amanda, Adam's sister, to Gail, Steven's colleague and best friend, O'Neill's characterization is fantastic. As I said at the beginning, you know these people or, at least, you know people like them: a middle aged man obsessed with weight and youth like Brad or a relative – both exasperating and charming like Onda. Trust me, I live a border away from Romania and, yes, people like her do exist. In addition, humor is such a cultural and personal affair that it's tricky for an author to reach a wide audience successfully. I am happy to say that O'Neill's humor worked perfectly for me, even though I live on a different continent.
I have to admit that I couldn't see how the author would resolve the central conflict. The little things – little hurts and snubs – pile up until both men have to ask themselves: Where do you draw the line when facing injustice? Do you stay true to the cause that is essential to your life or to your family which was always supportive to you? What are you willing to sacrifice? Obviously, something's got to give. While the cynic in me wanted to protest (feebly) that things rarely work out so well in real life, that people are rarely that understanding, the romantic in me thought that O'Neill chose the perfect ending for his book and his characters. I loved it! Especially after one particularly moving scene towards the end of the book that will surely tug at your heartstrings and underline the painful injustice gay couples suffer every day.
I have one niggle that kept me from giving the book the highest rating. While I never doubted men's feelings, I found Adam's transformation from how Steven initially described him to obsessive activist a bit hard to swallow. Perhaps his point of view would have helped there, but then The Marrying Kind wouldn't be the same book. Still, I would have liked to know what was happening in his head. I suspect that this book will get even better on the second (and third) reading though, so don't be surprised if you come back one day in the near future to find the rating raised.
At first, I wanted to include a few quotes in my review to illustrate the humor and wonderful little touches that made this book so appealing (like references to the men's favorite movies, etc.), but I decided against it so you can experience the complexity of the book yourself. The Marrying Kind is a humorous and heartfelt story that speaks about serious issues in a very accessible way. I can't imagine a better way to spend a few hours. And, if you want to help marriage equality – give or lend this story to someone. I am looking forward Mr. O'Neill's next book.
Highly, highly recommended.
Written for Reviews by Jessewave.
June 15, 2012
I accepted this review request with a little trepidation. First of all, this is more a romantic fiction than the standard romances I read. The author described the book more as ‘chick-lit but with two gay men’ in his review request, so I was intrigued. He also said, “that if enough people read it my sweet little book might have an impact on the state of equality in this country.” I’m am 100% for marriage equality in this country, but I also didn’t want to be preached at for the few hours I sat to read. Fortunately, Ken O’Neill puts plenty of humor and quirky characters in his engaging story, that while his message is loud and clear, it still reads as a really fun book. I also need to note that this book is set in the year 2007, before gay marriage was legal in New York.
Adam More and Steven Worth have been happily together for six years. Steven is a writer for The Gay New York Times, a weekly free circular. Let’s just say, Steven shows up to work late and leaves early, often leaving his boss Brad and his other work partner, Gail nervous if his column will ever get done. But they are good friends of his, and put up with his neurotic behavior. Steven has a lot of quirkiness to him, for example, when Steven gets upset, he can’t speak. His throat literally closes up. So instead of being able to yell at someone, he has to resort to silently stewing and mouthing his words. He is also great at pouting. All of this combined makes for some amusing scenes in this book.
Adam is a very successful wedding planner (having once been on The View, his claim to fame) and works very hard owning his business. He is the much more laid back of the two, leaving the theatrics to Steven. Obviously they both attend a lot of weddings a year, not only clients, but many family members as well. Steven comes from a strong Romanian family, and as he tells this story, he often flashes back to very humorous stories of his childhood and his Romanian mother. Steven has a brother Peter, who designs wedding cakes and is also seriously dating Adam’s sister, Amanda. Remember these two, they play an important role in a minute.
It is during one of these weddings that Adam has meticulously planned, that he crumbles. When the DJ asks for all the married couples to join together on the dance floor, Adam looks at Steven with despair. This feeling has been building up inside of Adam for some time. The injustice of not being allowed to get married, yet planning and going to hundreds of wedding a year, is all just too much. So he quits and announces he will not plan another wedding until he can get married too. That also includes going to weddings, buying wedding gifts etc.
Steven is proud of this statement and stands behind Adam 100%, even writing a column about it for The Gay New York Times. The column explodes, and it becomes a movement of sorts across the city. All is fine and dandy, until Amanda and Peter announce their engagement.
While The Marrying Kind definitely has conflict with the fact that Adam and Steven have decided to protest all weddings and the two closest people to them, Amanda and Peter have decided to get married, there is much more to this story. This is really the life story of Steven. We learn how he met Adam, how much his crazy, Romanian mother shaped his life, and how he has met his warm, funny friends who make this story so appealing. The author gives us some really silly moments, enough that make you laugh, but not so over the top that it doesn’t seem realistic. From one of his cousin’s French garden themed weddings where she made all the bridesmaid’s where powdered wigs and gowns 250 years out of style, or his boss Brad who is obsessed with pretty and young catering waiters. He sets up these scenes as Steven is telling the story that are so humorous, yet never weigh down the story and the direction it is going.
There are some poignant moments as well. Adam becomes so obsessed with his protest of marriage, he starts to lose focus on his family. Steven gets caught in the middle, wanting to attend the marriage of the brother he is so close to, but also wanting to support his lover in his cause. I really like how it all plays out in the end.
I really enjoy this author’s voice. As I said at the beginning, this isn’t your standard boy meets boy and falls in love romance book, but it is definitely romantic. I’ll even go as far to say there is a renewed HEA at the end that will make you smile.
Rating: B
Adam More and Steven Worth have been happily together for six years. Steven is a writer for The Gay New York Times, a weekly free circular. Let’s just say, Steven shows up to work late and leaves early, often leaving his boss Brad and his other work partner, Gail nervous if his column will ever get done. But they are good friends of his, and put up with his neurotic behavior. Steven has a lot of quirkiness to him, for example, when Steven gets upset, he can’t speak. His throat literally closes up. So instead of being able to yell at someone, he has to resort to silently stewing and mouthing his words. He is also great at pouting. All of this combined makes for some amusing scenes in this book.
Adam is a very successful wedding planner (having once been on The View, his claim to fame) and works very hard owning his business. He is the much more laid back of the two, leaving the theatrics to Steven. Obviously they both attend a lot of weddings a year, not only clients, but many family members as well. Steven comes from a strong Romanian family, and as he tells this story, he often flashes back to very humorous stories of his childhood and his Romanian mother. Steven has a brother Peter, who designs wedding cakes and is also seriously dating Adam’s sister, Amanda. Remember these two, they play an important role in a minute.
It is during one of these weddings that Adam has meticulously planned, that he crumbles. When the DJ asks for all the married couples to join together on the dance floor, Adam looks at Steven with despair. This feeling has been building up inside of Adam for some time. The injustice of not being allowed to get married, yet planning and going to hundreds of wedding a year, is all just too much. So he quits and announces he will not plan another wedding until he can get married too. That also includes going to weddings, buying wedding gifts etc.
Steven is proud of this statement and stands behind Adam 100%, even writing a column about it for The Gay New York Times. The column explodes, and it becomes a movement of sorts across the city. All is fine and dandy, until Amanda and Peter announce their engagement.
While The Marrying Kind definitely has conflict with the fact that Adam and Steven have decided to protest all weddings and the two closest people to them, Amanda and Peter have decided to get married, there is much more to this story. This is really the life story of Steven. We learn how he met Adam, how much his crazy, Romanian mother shaped his life, and how he has met his warm, funny friends who make this story so appealing. The author gives us some really silly moments, enough that make you laugh, but not so over the top that it doesn’t seem realistic. From one of his cousin’s French garden themed weddings where she made all the bridesmaid’s where powdered wigs and gowns 250 years out of style, or his boss Brad who is obsessed with pretty and young catering waiters. He sets up these scenes as Steven is telling the story that are so humorous, yet never weigh down the story and the direction it is going.
There are some poignant moments as well. Adam becomes so obsessed with his protest of marriage, he starts to lose focus on his family. Steven gets caught in the middle, wanting to attend the marriage of the brother he is so close to, but also wanting to support his lover in his cause. I really like how it all plays out in the end.
I really enjoy this author’s voice. As I said at the beginning, this isn’t your standard boy meets boy and falls in love romance book, but it is definitely romantic. I’ll even go as far to say there is a renewed HEA at the end that will make you smile.
Rating: B
March 15, 2019
Oh man - this is such a sweet funny story that you just can't go wrong with it. I don't know if Ken has written anything else, but his portrayal of the MCs ~a gay couple, their hangups, their friends' idiosyncrasies, their families, the OTT weddings - OMG it's so much fun. It cracked me up so many times.
...I now feel the need to watch the movie "Now, Voyager" with Bette Davis just to see her bond with Paul Henreid over cigarettes... LOL.
Narrated by Zach Herries - 4 stars. Great narration, nailing neurotic MC Steven.
...I now feel the need to watch the movie "Now, Voyager" with Bette Davis just to see her bond with Paul Henreid over cigarettes... LOL.
Narrated by Zach Herries - 4 stars. Great narration, nailing neurotic MC Steven.
April 10, 2015
Before I say anything else about this book I'm going to start with the thing people go to book reviews to learn: should you buy this book? Absolutely. Positively. Fabulously. Yes. Call your indy. Download the audiobook. Pick up a copy from the publisher's website. Go do that. I'll wait right here.
Okay?
Okay.
I was lucky enough to hear Ken O'Neill speak at the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival, on a panel about humour, and so I was - I thought - quite prepared to chuckle my way through this book. Ken is funny - he has this delivery that had me barking out laughter. You know the kind of laugh where you weren't expecting it at all and you end up being super loud and everyone stares? That kind. I was not prepared at all, and those moments of perfect delivery are seeded throughout The Marrying Kind and I was bark-laughing all over the place. I may have scared some neighbours while walking the dog, and maybe one or two people at the grocery store. It happens.
The narrative has what appears to be a simple and funny set-up: a writer for a small gay free newspaper writes an article after his gay wedding-planner partner decides that since gays can't marry, there should be a queer-wide ban on all things wedding. No more florists, dress designers, caterers, dress clerks - nothing. And the movement gains real traction. And then the writer's brother and the wedding-planner's sister get engaged, and the struggle the two began comes even closer to home: what do you support? Your own rights, or your own family?
I say that the narrative appears simple and funny - it is more than this. O'Neill manages to do something very clever (and incredibly difficult) by taking something that really isn't funny - the fight for equality - and takes one instance of the existing inequality - gay marriage - and uses it to great effect to really paint a very accessible picture of what it's like for us queer folk. And he does this while making you bark-laugh throughout. The seriousness is there, and indeed sometimes the laughter comes from the clash between those who don't really realize what it is the couple is fighting for in the first place and the queer folk trying really hard not to slap them upside the head with a clue, but mostly it's the incredibly honest characters who make this novel so wonderful. They're neurotic and self-centred and mistake-prone and hysterical (in both senses of the word) and so darn charming that you're rooting for pretty much everyone - especially the couple, who may find themselves divided by one wedding while they take a stand for... well... their right to weddings.
I could go on and on, and if we end up in the same room together, I probably will (you were warned) but grab this. Now.
Okay?
Okay.
I was lucky enough to hear Ken O'Neill speak at the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival, on a panel about humour, and so I was - I thought - quite prepared to chuckle my way through this book. Ken is funny - he has this delivery that had me barking out laughter. You know the kind of laugh where you weren't expecting it at all and you end up being super loud and everyone stares? That kind. I was not prepared at all, and those moments of perfect delivery are seeded throughout The Marrying Kind and I was bark-laughing all over the place. I may have scared some neighbours while walking the dog, and maybe one or two people at the grocery store. It happens.
The narrative has what appears to be a simple and funny set-up: a writer for a small gay free newspaper writes an article after his gay wedding-planner partner decides that since gays can't marry, there should be a queer-wide ban on all things wedding. No more florists, dress designers, caterers, dress clerks - nothing. And the movement gains real traction. And then the writer's brother and the wedding-planner's sister get engaged, and the struggle the two began comes even closer to home: what do you support? Your own rights, or your own family?
I say that the narrative appears simple and funny - it is more than this. O'Neill manages to do something very clever (and incredibly difficult) by taking something that really isn't funny - the fight for equality - and takes one instance of the existing inequality - gay marriage - and uses it to great effect to really paint a very accessible picture of what it's like for us queer folk. And he does this while making you bark-laugh throughout. The seriousness is there, and indeed sometimes the laughter comes from the clash between those who don't really realize what it is the couple is fighting for in the first place and the queer folk trying really hard not to slap them upside the head with a clue, but mostly it's the incredibly honest characters who make this novel so wonderful. They're neurotic and self-centred and mistake-prone and hysterical (in both senses of the word) and so darn charming that you're rooting for pretty much everyone - especially the couple, who may find themselves divided by one wedding while they take a stand for... well... their right to weddings.
I could go on and on, and if we end up in the same room together, I probably will (you were warned) but grab this. Now.
June 15, 2013
A large part of my enjoyment of this book came from the descriptions of life in Manhattan, which I am not sure will appeal as much to a non-New Yorker. But even aside from that, this is a really good book, about two regular guys in a committed relationship and their adventures while campaigning for gay marriage (by boycotting weddings), while all around them their families are getting married. Kinda like a gay version of chick-lit - gay-lit, maybe? A lovely, light read, with off-page sex but lots of cuddling. :)
July 9, 2012
4.5 - I am perilously close to giving this a 5 star. I was laughing so hard at 1am on the plane I was disruptive.
This was good, real good. Be back for a real review when I have had more than 3 hours of sleep.
This was good, real good. Be back for a real review when I have had more than 3 hours of sleep.
July 9, 2014
If you've read the blurb you've read the book except you haven't had the fun, romance, and excitement.
January 25, 2019
This book was not my cup of tea. The main character had no backbone and completely caved into his straight siblings when they didn’t even stop to consider his feelings for one second. When Adam stood up for himself what did this piece of mush do, he left him. After seven years and never a fight he leaves his partner and chooses his selfish family. I don’t think I want to read anything else by this author.
I can’t imagine how this book won all those awards. I would have thought gay people had more pride.
I can’t imagine how this book won all those awards. I would have thought gay people had more pride.
June 26, 2012
The narrator's ramblings shook me out of the narration more times than I want to remember, but when he actually managed to keep me with him? It was hilarious. The Romanian mother killed me dead, and living in Italy with a friend who sees the "malocchio" (bad eye) everywhere, I could see Steven in front of me—not believing it, but spitting all the same, just in case... Hilarious. Add his mother, the Romanian guilt-tripping widowed matriarch with a live ex-husband, and you're in for some serious guffaws.
The theme of marriage-rights for everyone is important, especially with the conservative backlash the world is experiencing right now (June, 2012). To know that New York now allows same-sex marriage makes this book feel all the more important. Especially the hospital scene broke my heart.
This novel, the debut of author Ken O'Neil, could have profited from one more editing run-through, as the ramblings could have had more substance. Or they could have been developed a bit more. This is the only reason I have graded it four stars.
I loved it, it was totally, completely nuts, and there is so much love in the pages that it still surrounds me. And thankfully, there is no sex, except a very small scene where they say it was nice, very nice. It cracked me up big time.
Here are some excerpts, for those of you who want to know what caught my mind's eye while reading:
I had left him for having principles and conviction, which are the reasons one should stay with a partner. (They're right up there with funny and good in bed).
No arbitrary law about what it is that makes one person the family of another would ever separate them. - about the "normal" marriage of his brother.
One passage really resounded with me, and it was the one about Constantine's funeral and the Italian Franco (Dean and Frank). (I won't quote it here, because I'd like for you to experience it for yourself). There is a whole new story right there. A period piece about gay uncles and sassy spinsters.
I wonder if Mr O'Neil would care to write that story for us, too? The topic is important, and needs to be told in a million different ways, from different eras, so that people can finally see. Love is love.
I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone. And I paid for it with my own money, (as I do for all the books I read, the music I listen to and the movies I watch) and I'm glad I did. Really glad.
The theme of marriage-rights for everyone is important, especially with the conservative backlash the world is experiencing right now (June, 2012). To know that New York now allows same-sex marriage makes this book feel all the more important. Especially the hospital scene broke my heart.
This novel, the debut of author Ken O'Neil, could have profited from one more editing run-through, as the ramblings could have had more substance. Or they could have been developed a bit more. This is the only reason I have graded it four stars.
I loved it, it was totally, completely nuts, and there is so much love in the pages that it still surrounds me. And thankfully, there is no sex, except a very small scene where they say it was nice, very nice. It cracked me up big time.
Here are some excerpts, for those of you who want to know what caught my mind's eye while reading:
I had left him for having principles and conviction, which are the reasons one should stay with a partner. (They're right up there with funny and good in bed).
No arbitrary law about what it is that makes one person the family of another would ever separate them. - about the "normal" marriage of his brother.
One passage really resounded with me, and it was the one about Constantine's funeral and the Italian Franco (Dean and Frank). (I won't quote it here, because I'd like for you to experience it for yourself). There is a whole new story right there. A period piece about gay uncles and sassy spinsters.
I wonder if Mr O'Neil would care to write that story for us, too? The topic is important, and needs to be told in a million different ways, from different eras, so that people can finally see. Love is love.
I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone. And I paid for it with my own money, (as I do for all the books I read, the music I listen to and the movies I watch) and I'm glad I did. Really glad.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
dnf
October 16, 2016So - looks like I'm the only one not liking this. Sorry, book!
It was on my TBR for years now, exactly since Aug 12, 2012 and several times since then I started and stopped after a few pages. Then I chose it for my 'humorous' category of my annual challenge and let me tell you, that category is giving me problems. Seems like my humor it totally different than what most people find funny. Sigh! I have to read 8 books and this is the 3rd DNF and then there were two 2* books.
Anyway, this is not my kind of humor, not my kind of funny and I cannot relate to any of the characters. I throw in the towel.
It was on my TBR for years now, exactly since Aug 12, 2012 and several times since then I started and stopped after a few pages. Then I chose it for my 'humorous' category of my annual challenge and let me tell you, that category is giving me problems. Seems like my humor it totally different than what most people find funny. Sigh! I have to read 8 books and this is the 3rd DNF and then there were two 2* books.
Anyway, this is not my kind of humor, not my kind of funny and I cannot relate to any of the characters. I throw in the towel.
July 7, 2013
An enjoyable read. What made this stand out was the 1st person narrator, Steven. His voice, his personality, his quirks, his emotions - he really made this a great read.
It was a fun read, although partly a bit angsty, but I just loved the characters in this book - with one small exception, Adam, Steven's boyfriend, who remained a bit pale for me.
It was very well written also - so this author will go in the auto-buy column.
It was a fun read, although partly a bit angsty, but I just loved the characters in this book - with one small exception, Adam, Steven's boyfriend, who remained a bit pale for me.
It was very well written also - so this author will go in the auto-buy column.
April 30, 2012
This review was posted to Amethyst Daydreams book blog.
I found a book this weekend that had me thinking. I've been married for eight years and I regularly feel guilty about it. It always makes me feel awful that marriage has always been more about politics and less about love. In the past people married for money or land or political gains. Now people get married so they can get benefits like tax breaks or health insurance coverage. People also like to make marriage a political agenda. They like to keep some people from getting married or keep the government from accepting the marriages that some churches/states perform. It's all nonsense. Marriage should be about love. Whoever you love and however you love. Eight years ago, when I got married, my father in law was not a fan of the idea and he still isn't today but he had no way of stopping it. Not everyone is so lucky. That's what The Marrying Kind is all about. How we deal with this injustice and how it affects us all.
I received an e-galley of The Marrying Kind by Ken O'Neill from Bold Strokes Books through NetGalley. Here's the Goodreads blurb:
Adam More, a successful wedding planner, has been having nightmares featuring the Bush family and characters from Gone with the Wind. His partner, Steven Worth, a columnist with The Gay New York Times, is understandably concerned. However, everything comes to a comic point when Adam decides he can no longer promote marriage for heterosexuals until he can legally marry Steven, who, through his column, ignites a marriage boycott among the many gay florists, hairdressers, chefs, waiters, and musicians who keep the wedding industry humming. Ken O'Neill is a New York–based writer and activist whose blog (themarryingkind.org) is devoted to marriage equality.
This is a delightful story of two people and how they react differently to the same issue in their lives. Adam and Steven can't get married even though they have lived together for a long time and are raising two cats together. That is a problem for most gay men but Adam feels it even stronger after a chance encounter with a man at one of the weddings that he planned. The man's simple statement: "it must hurt to plan all these weddings when you can't ever have one yourself" sets off a chain reaction in Adam's mind causing him to change the way he views his business. This about face in his thinking could not have come at a worse time when shortly after Adam's epiphany, his sister and Steven's brother announce that they're getting married. This throws a wrench into his marriage boycott plans. It also calls into question how the marriage question affects each of them. Should they really "take it out" on their straight friends and relatives? Should those straight people be understanding and supportive in the quest for marriage equality? These are all questions that Steven and Adam need to answer for themselves. In the end, the whole process leads to them learning more about themselves, each other and the world they live in. I loved every moment of this book because while it has a political purpose, it does not read as a book that is trying to force you into anything (believe me, my father in law loves that Focus on the Family stuff so I know what that looks and sounds like). Steven tells a charming story of an event in his life that left him changed. The reader comes away from the book wondering about the same things that Steven did as he went through this. This is really worth reading.
You can find out more about author Ken O'Neill and his movement for Marriage Equality on his blog. You can also click here to find The Marrying Kind on Goodreads. I really hope that you'll give this book a chance when it releases on June 19th. The Marrying Kind earns 4 Fairies for a lovely story about one couple's journey through activism.
I found a book this weekend that had me thinking. I've been married for eight years and I regularly feel guilty about it. It always makes me feel awful that marriage has always been more about politics and less about love. In the past people married for money or land or political gains. Now people get married so they can get benefits like tax breaks or health insurance coverage. People also like to make marriage a political agenda. They like to keep some people from getting married or keep the government from accepting the marriages that some churches/states perform. It's all nonsense. Marriage should be about love. Whoever you love and however you love. Eight years ago, when I got married, my father in law was not a fan of the idea and he still isn't today but he had no way of stopping it. Not everyone is so lucky. That's what The Marrying Kind is all about. How we deal with this injustice and how it affects us all.
I received an e-galley of The Marrying Kind by Ken O'Neill from Bold Strokes Books through NetGalley. Here's the Goodreads blurb:
Adam More, a successful wedding planner, has been having nightmares featuring the Bush family and characters from Gone with the Wind. His partner, Steven Worth, a columnist with The Gay New York Times, is understandably concerned. However, everything comes to a comic point when Adam decides he can no longer promote marriage for heterosexuals until he can legally marry Steven, who, through his column, ignites a marriage boycott among the many gay florists, hairdressers, chefs, waiters, and musicians who keep the wedding industry humming. Ken O'Neill is a New York–based writer and activist whose blog (themarryingkind.org) is devoted to marriage equality.
This is a delightful story of two people and how they react differently to the same issue in their lives. Adam and Steven can't get married even though they have lived together for a long time and are raising two cats together. That is a problem for most gay men but Adam feels it even stronger after a chance encounter with a man at one of the weddings that he planned. The man's simple statement: "it must hurt to plan all these weddings when you can't ever have one yourself" sets off a chain reaction in Adam's mind causing him to change the way he views his business. This about face in his thinking could not have come at a worse time when shortly after Adam's epiphany, his sister and Steven's brother announce that they're getting married. This throws a wrench into his marriage boycott plans. It also calls into question how the marriage question affects each of them. Should they really "take it out" on their straight friends and relatives? Should those straight people be understanding and supportive in the quest for marriage equality? These are all questions that Steven and Adam need to answer for themselves. In the end, the whole process leads to them learning more about themselves, each other and the world they live in. I loved every moment of this book because while it has a political purpose, it does not read as a book that is trying to force you into anything (believe me, my father in law loves that Focus on the Family stuff so I know what that looks and sounds like). Steven tells a charming story of an event in his life that left him changed. The reader comes away from the book wondering about the same things that Steven did as he went through this. This is really worth reading.
You can find out more about author Ken O'Neill and his movement for Marriage Equality on his blog. You can also click here to find The Marrying Kind on Goodreads. I really hope that you'll give this book a chance when it releases on June 19th. The Marrying Kind earns 4 Fairies for a lovely story about one couple's journey through activism.
June 25, 2012
I'm mostly a genre reader, so I tend to want to classify what I read. The Marrying Kind is a toughie -- like the recent book The Bro-Magnet, it sort of cries out for a category called Dudelit, with its first-person narrative by a lovably flawed protagonist on a slightly over-the-top comic journey of self-discovery. Except unlike most chicklit protagonists, Steven isn't looking for love; his problem is that he's found love, but it's not recognized.
Steven Worth has a pretty much perfect life, with his partner Adam and their cat "kids." They're even thinking about real kids someday. But despite his current state of well being, Steven doesn't feel that far removed from the fat kid known as Steven Worthless he once was, and he tends to be diffident and conformist: "My idea of bucking the system is insisting on saying 'large' instead of 'venti' when I order my Starbucks coffee."
When a series of events hit Steven and Adam in the face with how unfairly they're treated as a gay couple, they find themselves almost accidentally starting a movement boycotting weddings -- no small thing, as Adam is a wedding planner. (The story is set in New York in 2007, before same-sex marriage was legal there.) At first, Steven is thrilled to use his columnist job to promote the boycott: "Now I, too, was in the fight to obtain equal rights. I felt inspired, confident, and strong. Three words never before used in a sentence describing me." The situation gets sticky when Steven's brother and Adam's sister announce their engagement, and Adam refuses not only to plan the wedding, but even to attend it. Steven, sentimental and romantic, already feels bad for the people whose weddings are being ruined when gay bakers and florists and caterers back out; being forced to miss his own brother's wedding has him feeling torn in two.
I don't want to say any more about the plot, other than that I was surprised and delighted by where it eventually went. My only wish is that we had seen an epilogue set after the law change in New York, in which Steven and Adam got married. But as an author's note points out, even in states that recognize same-sex marriage, same-sex couples "continue to be denied the 1,138 federal rights and responsibilities of marriage that are afforded straight couples." Perhaps O'Neill thought such an epilogue would mitigate his point.
Although humorous in tone, The Marrying Kind is, at heart, a very tender story. Adam and Steven are sweet together, but love of family members and friends is also integral to them. I found it more the kind of book you chuckle at than laugh-out-loud funny, and not all of the efforts to be comic came off; I most enjoyed charming throwaway lines like "Being Protestant, Adam never actually ate before we met." For much of the book, it felt like a pleasant three-star read to me, but I was so impressed with how O'Neill pulled off the ending, made his point -- and made me cry -- that I'm going with four stars.
Steven Worth has a pretty much perfect life, with his partner Adam and their cat "kids." They're even thinking about real kids someday. But despite his current state of well being, Steven doesn't feel that far removed from the fat kid known as Steven Worthless he once was, and he tends to be diffident and conformist: "My idea of bucking the system is insisting on saying 'large' instead of 'venti' when I order my Starbucks coffee."
When a series of events hit Steven and Adam in the face with how unfairly they're treated as a gay couple, they find themselves almost accidentally starting a movement boycotting weddings -- no small thing, as Adam is a wedding planner. (The story is set in New York in 2007, before same-sex marriage was legal there.) At first, Steven is thrilled to use his columnist job to promote the boycott: "Now I, too, was in the fight to obtain equal rights. I felt inspired, confident, and strong. Three words never before used in a sentence describing me." The situation gets sticky when Steven's brother and Adam's sister announce their engagement, and Adam refuses not only to plan the wedding, but even to attend it. Steven, sentimental and romantic, already feels bad for the people whose weddings are being ruined when gay bakers and florists and caterers back out; being forced to miss his own brother's wedding has him feeling torn in two.
I don't want to say any more about the plot, other than that I was surprised and delighted by where it eventually went. My only wish is that we had seen an epilogue set after the law change in New York, in which Steven and Adam got married. But as an author's note points out, even in states that recognize same-sex marriage, same-sex couples "continue to be denied the 1,138 federal rights and responsibilities of marriage that are afforded straight couples." Perhaps O'Neill thought such an epilogue would mitigate his point.
Although humorous in tone, The Marrying Kind is, at heart, a very tender story. Adam and Steven are sweet together, but love of family members and friends is also integral to them. I found it more the kind of book you chuckle at than laugh-out-loud funny, and not all of the efforts to be comic came off; I most enjoyed charming throwaway lines like "Being Protestant, Adam never actually ate before we met." For much of the book, it felt like a pleasant three-star read to me, but I was so impressed with how O'Neill pulled off the ending, made his point -- and made me cry -- that I'm going with four stars.
May 17, 2012
This is the debut novel from Ken O'Neill and I for one can't wait for the next. With his mix of humor and realism it has a very autobiographical feel to it that can't help but draw you in and make you want more.
What do you do when you have made a decision not to have anything to do with hetero weddings, and then your sister announces she is getting married? Not only is she getting married but she is marrying the brother of your life partner and has always been supportive to you? Do you go back on your convictions and attend this one wedding, or stand by them and possibly lose everything?
Adam is a successful wedding planner in the throes of the wedding season when a series of events finally pushes him too far. He has been in a committed relationship with Steven for over 6 years and not only doesn't the country or state he lives in recognize it, sometimes even his family doesn't. He is mad as Hell and he isn't going to take it anymore!
Steven writes a column for The Gay New York Times and he was quite the activist while in college but has become rather complacent since then. When he writes a column to support his partners ban on weddings and calls on all others in the GLBT community to do the same he has no idea of the chain of events it's going to set off.
The duo are the heroes of the gay community and are riding high until Adam's sister announces she is marrying Steven's brother. When they refuse to not only plan but even attend, step back because the family fireworks are about to begin!
I LOVED this story.
I felt like I was sitting in a room with Mr. O'Neill and listening to him tell me the story of his family, and even though I have never met or spoken to him I feel very confident it was his voice I was hearing in my head. His writing style is contemporary, relaxed, fun and informative. You walk away with a better understanding of how GLBT people feel about this issue without feeling preached at. It is very tongue in cheek in one paragraph and heart breakingly real in the next.
The story is told from Steven's POV and the flashbacks through-out the story really give you a sense of who the characters are and where they came from. When Steven talks about his crazy Romanian mom you can't help but fall in love with her and totally sympathize with his embarrassment at the same time. There is a strong secondary cast and quite a few memorable characters but the foundation of the story is Adam and Steven's relationship and the changes they go through while trying to stand up for something that is so important to them.
So if you are looking for that book that is hysterically funny, heart-wrenchingly poignant and absolutely about love and relationships then The Marrying Kind is for you!
Review originally posted at:
http://www.guiltyindulgencebookclub.b...
What do you do when you have made a decision not to have anything to do with hetero weddings, and then your sister announces she is getting married? Not only is she getting married but she is marrying the brother of your life partner and has always been supportive to you? Do you go back on your convictions and attend this one wedding, or stand by them and possibly lose everything?
Adam is a successful wedding planner in the throes of the wedding season when a series of events finally pushes him too far. He has been in a committed relationship with Steven for over 6 years and not only doesn't the country or state he lives in recognize it, sometimes even his family doesn't. He is mad as Hell and he isn't going to take it anymore!
Steven writes a column for The Gay New York Times and he was quite the activist while in college but has become rather complacent since then. When he writes a column to support his partners ban on weddings and calls on all others in the GLBT community to do the same he has no idea of the chain of events it's going to set off.
The duo are the heroes of the gay community and are riding high until Adam's sister announces she is marrying Steven's brother. When they refuse to not only plan but even attend, step back because the family fireworks are about to begin!
I LOVED this story.
I felt like I was sitting in a room with Mr. O'Neill and listening to him tell me the story of his family, and even though I have never met or spoken to him I feel very confident it was his voice I was hearing in my head. His writing style is contemporary, relaxed, fun and informative. You walk away with a better understanding of how GLBT people feel about this issue without feeling preached at. It is very tongue in cheek in one paragraph and heart breakingly real in the next.
The story is told from Steven's POV and the flashbacks through-out the story really give you a sense of who the characters are and where they came from. When Steven talks about his crazy Romanian mom you can't help but fall in love with her and totally sympathize with his embarrassment at the same time. There is a strong secondary cast and quite a few memorable characters but the foundation of the story is Adam and Steven's relationship and the changes they go through while trying to stand up for something that is so important to them.
So if you are looking for that book that is hysterically funny, heart-wrenchingly poignant and absolutely about love and relationships then The Marrying Kind is for you!
Review originally posted at:
http://www.guiltyindulgencebookclub.b...
June 12, 2013
Wow, I loved this books from start to finish. It even made me cry, which I seldom do when reading a book.
The basic plot of the story is focused around Adam and Steven who are partners who have been together for seven years and live in New York (pre-mariage equity laws). Adam is a wedding planner and Steven is a writer for The Gay New York Times. Adam gets to a point where he can no longer carry out his job in good conscience when he and the love of his life cannot be joined in marriage as well. Steven backs him in this decision and writes a column for the news paper calling all LGBTQ people to boycott anything to do with weddings until they have achieved equal rights. The article is published on the morning of the same day that Steven and Adam's straight brother and sister announce that they are engaged. The article starts a movement and most of the book focuses around the growing momentum of the movement to boycott weddings and growing pressure on the two heroes as to whether or not they are going to attend their siblings wedding.
The whole book is written from Steven's point of view and while he is slightly neurotic he is funny and smart and very sweet. The secondary characters are well fleshed out and really add to the story line.
I really wish everyone could/would read this book too. It doesn't come right out and say "look at all the ways society makes the lives of gay and lesbian people suck because we cant get married." Rather it demonstrates somewhat less forcefully that a change in our nation's laws really needs to happen and here are some of the reasons why (X,Y,Z). I think the book also demonstrates a strong spirit to not let circumstances keep you down, but to instead fight for what is important to you.
In the end this book left me happy and I hope you enjoy it as well.
The basic plot of the story is focused around Adam and Steven who are partners who have been together for seven years and live in New York (pre-mariage equity laws). Adam is a wedding planner and Steven is a writer for The Gay New York Times. Adam gets to a point where he can no longer carry out his job in good conscience when he and the love of his life cannot be joined in marriage as well. Steven backs him in this decision and writes a column for the news paper calling all LGBTQ people to boycott anything to do with weddings until they have achieved equal rights. The article is published on the morning of the same day that Steven and Adam's straight brother and sister announce that they are engaged. The article starts a movement and most of the book focuses around the growing momentum of the movement to boycott weddings and growing pressure on the two heroes as to whether or not they are going to attend their siblings wedding.
The whole book is written from Steven's point of view and while he is slightly neurotic he is funny and smart and very sweet. The secondary characters are well fleshed out and really add to the story line.
I really wish everyone could/would read this book too. It doesn't come right out and say "look at all the ways society makes the lives of gay and lesbian people suck because we cant get married." Rather it demonstrates somewhat less forcefully that a change in our nation's laws really needs to happen and here are some of the reasons why (X,Y,Z). I think the book also demonstrates a strong spirit to not let circumstances keep you down, but to instead fight for what is important to you.
In the end this book left me happy and I hope you enjoy it as well.
May 19, 2012
Very topical, this book couldn’t have been released at a more appropriate time considering the recent gay marriage debacle in North Carolina (my home state).
This is the story of Steven Worth, a charmingly neurotic columnist that works for The Gay New York Times (one of those freebie newspapers they give away in gay bars) and his wedding-planner boyfriend, Adam More. They’re a happy, well-dressed couple, living in a nice apartment in NYC with their two kids (cats) and few problems.
Adam begins to seem depressed which really worries Steven but he doesn’t know how to approach the subject. So, he lets it slide for a while until Adam rushes home from work one day, all aglow and flushed with excitement. Adam makes a pronouncement that he’s giving up his business of heterosexual wedding planning until he and Steven can legally be married in New York.
Although worried, Steven gets all charged up over the subject and writes a few compelling pro-gay marriage articles for The Gay New York Times and before you know it, Adam and Steven become local heroes to the gay community and a movement begins to take shape, protesting heterosexual marriage and boycotting weddings until gays have the right to legally marry.
Things are going great until Steven’s (straight) brother asks Adam’s sister to marry him. Herein lies the trouble, Steven is extremely close to his brother and it tears him apart that Adam expects him not to attend his wedding just based on the principle of the whole matter. What if the gay community got wind of the fact that the people that started this anti-wedding movement actually attended a heterosexual wedding? They’d tear them from limb to limb for sure and be shamed in the press.
Finally, Steven is so miserable that he leaves Adam after telling him that he was most definitely going to attend his one and only brother’s wedding and if he were smart he’d do the same thing. Will Adam stand firm to the principles of his movement or will he show up at the church in the nick of time to see his sister wed Adam’s brother?
A wonderful, funny, touching book!
If you care anything about gay rights and gay marriage, do yourself a favor and read this book.
This is the story of Steven Worth, a charmingly neurotic columnist that works for The Gay New York Times (one of those freebie newspapers they give away in gay bars) and his wedding-planner boyfriend, Adam More. They’re a happy, well-dressed couple, living in a nice apartment in NYC with their two kids (cats) and few problems.
Adam begins to seem depressed which really worries Steven but he doesn’t know how to approach the subject. So, he lets it slide for a while until Adam rushes home from work one day, all aglow and flushed with excitement. Adam makes a pronouncement that he’s giving up his business of heterosexual wedding planning until he and Steven can legally be married in New York.
Although worried, Steven gets all charged up over the subject and writes a few compelling pro-gay marriage articles for The Gay New York Times and before you know it, Adam and Steven become local heroes to the gay community and a movement begins to take shape, protesting heterosexual marriage and boycotting weddings until gays have the right to legally marry.
Things are going great until Steven’s (straight) brother asks Adam’s sister to marry him. Herein lies the trouble, Steven is extremely close to his brother and it tears him apart that Adam expects him not to attend his wedding just based on the principle of the whole matter. What if the gay community got wind of the fact that the people that started this anti-wedding movement actually attended a heterosexual wedding? They’d tear them from limb to limb for sure and be shamed in the press.
Finally, Steven is so miserable that he leaves Adam after telling him that he was most definitely going to attend his one and only brother’s wedding and if he were smart he’d do the same thing. Will Adam stand firm to the principles of his movement or will he show up at the church in the nick of time to see his sister wed Adam’s brother?
A wonderful, funny, touching book!
If you care anything about gay rights and gay marriage, do yourself a favor and read this book.
May 8, 2012
With a contemporary theme that is utterly serious and heart wrenching, this is the funniest book I have read in a very long time. The story takes place in 2007, and while American society is slowly changing, and has since changed in New York City where the story takes place, the reader gets an authentic feel for the issues at stake.
Ken O'Neill's ability to cut-to-the-chase in his observations of pop culture and the behavior of the people within it is masterful. Adam and Steve are two gay men who have been together for six years and are very much committed to their love for each other. Adam, a wedding planner and Steven, a columnist for the "Gay New York Times" decide to begin a movement to boycott heterosexual weddings until all GLTB individuals have the same rights to marry. Gay and lesbian florists, caterers, cake decorators, bridal gown makers and sellers, and waiters/waitresses in restaurants go on strike against serving weddings. They hold protests and rallies even though getting barely a mention on tv news.
Unfortunately, just as the movement takes hold, Adam's sister Amanda and Steven's brother Peter announce their upcoming marriage to each other.
Let the conflict begin. Enter all the ethnic emotions and food of Steven's Macedonian-Romanian-American mother and the rather more aloof attitude of Adam's English-American mother, and you have a colorful mix of characters indeed. How Adam and Steven handle belief and commitment to their cause while yet wanting to be part of their siblings big day holds the reader captive until the very end.
Ken O'Neill is an amazing writer, and I hope we'll hear much from him in the future!
Ken O'Neill's ability to cut-to-the-chase in his observations of pop culture and the behavior of the people within it is masterful. Adam and Steve are two gay men who have been together for six years and are very much committed to their love for each other. Adam, a wedding planner and Steven, a columnist for the "Gay New York Times" decide to begin a movement to boycott heterosexual weddings until all GLTB individuals have the same rights to marry. Gay and lesbian florists, caterers, cake decorators, bridal gown makers and sellers, and waiters/waitresses in restaurants go on strike against serving weddings. They hold protests and rallies even though getting barely a mention on tv news.
Unfortunately, just as the movement takes hold, Adam's sister Amanda and Steven's brother Peter announce their upcoming marriage to each other.
Let the conflict begin. Enter all the ethnic emotions and food of Steven's Macedonian-Romanian-American mother and the rather more aloof attitude of Adam's English-American mother, and you have a colorful mix of characters indeed. How Adam and Steven handle belief and commitment to their cause while yet wanting to be part of their siblings big day holds the reader captive until the very end.
Ken O'Neill is an amazing writer, and I hope we'll hear much from him in the future!
June 21, 2012
Steven is a pretty easy-going (lazy) writer for The Gay New York Times. He lives with his longtime partner, Adam, a busy and successful wedding planner. The stress of planning and attending everyone else’s wedding when he can’t marry his partner has finally made Adam snap. He walks out on his job and as a result Steven writes a column about how gay people should boycott all wedding related things until they can get married too. No wedding planners, no hairdressers, no florists, no bakers, no gifts, no attending. While a brilliant idea to support equality, the boycott creates all kinds of drama and problems that they didn’t anticipate. Not only is Adam basically sitting around doing nothing and trying to find a new place in life, Steven is feeling pretty inadequate when faced with Adam’s new hero status in the gay community. Added to that stress on their relationship, Adam’s sister and Steven’s brother have become engaged and all kinds of family trouble starts when they say they will not be standing up for them or attending their wedding. The Marrying Kind is told in Steven’s voice, and his inner dialogue is hilarious. I was cracking up with Steven’s Romanian mother too. The Marrying Kind is the perfect mix of smart, sweet, sad, and funny, and really makes you think about the things we all need to do to make inequality a thing of the past everywhere, though things have already improved in New York since the events of this story took place. This is Ken O’Neill’s first book and I can’t wait to read more. If Ken is anything like Steven, and I am guessing he is, he would be a fantastic person to hang out with.
August 18, 2013
The Smart Bitches recommended this book, and Sarah and I have similar taste, so when it came on bargain sale for Kindle, I bought it.
This is not your standard romance. And in fact I'm not sure it's a romance at all, for all that there's a lot of love and romance in it, and it's described as a screwball romantic comedy. What it is, is an exploration of the matter of same-sex marriage in the state of New York (where it's now legal, but it wasn't at the time of publication). Adam More is a highly successful wedding planner, and his partner Steven Worth is a journalist who writes for a gay newspaper. (Yes, the main characters are Adam and Steve - it's deliberate.)
The characters are fantastic, from the lead couple to their siblings, Peter and Amanda, who are also a couple, to both mothers, to co-workers. All the characters are real, rounded people. Even the characters who are referred to, but not present, during the story.
The book is told first-person from Steven's point of view, and is both hilariously funny and tear-inducingly touching. The story makes a point, but never belabors it, or sacrifices the story to make it.
Highly recommended. I will re-read this one, I'm sure.
This is not your standard romance. And in fact I'm not sure it's a romance at all, for all that there's a lot of love and romance in it, and it's described as a screwball romantic comedy. What it is, is an exploration of the matter of same-sex marriage in the state of New York (where it's now legal, but it wasn't at the time of publication). Adam More is a highly successful wedding planner, and his partner Steven Worth is a journalist who writes for a gay newspaper. (Yes, the main characters are Adam and Steve - it's deliberate.)
The characters are fantastic, from the lead couple to their siblings, Peter and Amanda, who are also a couple, to both mothers, to co-workers. All the characters are real, rounded people. Even the characters who are referred to, but not present, during the story.
The book is told first-person from Steven's point of view, and is both hilariously funny and tear-inducingly touching. The story makes a point, but never belabors it, or sacrifices the story to make it.
Highly recommended. I will re-read this one, I'm sure.
February 3, 2014
I actually chuckled out loud a few times reading this, it's that funny and spot on in describing pop culture and the inner turmoil of the neurotic narrator. Steven and Adam are a couple happily enjoying their 6 year relationship, their family and their friends when an irritating wedding invitation arrives in the mail. This sets off a funny, almost screwball plot that has a very serious point to make.
A funny story that drives home the message of marriage equality.
A funny story that drives home the message of marriage equality.
October 25, 2015
2012 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
Want to read
June 1, 2013A killer 90% price drop to only $0.99 for kindle!!! 5/31/13!!
August 26, 2013
Written in 1st person POV. Neurotic narrator. Good use of current issues, but lacking the promised humor. Full review soon.
June 13, 2013
This book is super witty, and very touching, and it's so, so frustrating that gay marriage isn't legal everywhere yet.
November 13, 2019
Overall I liked this book, but it seemed to go on forever. It was goofy and over the top hilarious in parts, and sad in others. And then there was a lot of rambling. Steven Worth is from a Romanian family and is very dramatic. He's a columnist for the Gay NYT. His partner, Adam Moore, is a popular wedding planner. The two have a good life, but something is missing - they can't get married (this book was written before it was legal.) When Adam realizes his promoting a discriminatory practice with his job, he goes on strike and a column written by Steven gets the city behind him. Then their families get pulled into things, and everything becomes one big mess. The characters were fun and interesting, but I did find myself skimming some of the filler. 3.5 stars.
January 30, 2018
One of those books where you want to crawl into the narrator’s head and never leave.
June 6, 2013
I picked this up because it's on sale for $0.99 on most e-book sites this week and it looked intriguing, though I figured that, being gay myself, I was already a member of the choir being preached to. Pleasantly, this book, while certainly On Message, isn't preachy. Adam and Steven (get it?) are a committed couple in their mid-30s, living together in Manhattan with their feline "kids." Adam is a wedding planner; Steven writes for a gay weekly. They grow more and more depressed planning and attending weddings for straight friends and relatives, until finally they decide they just can't take it anymore: until they, too, can marry, they will not plan, attend, or send gifts to any more weddings. Using the bully pulpit that is Steven's column, they put the word out about their wedding boycott, and soon other gay party planners, florists, caterers, hair stylists, cater waiters, etc., join the movement. This feels just great, of course, until Steven's brother becomes engaged to Adam's sister, and Adam and Steven's decision to stick to their principles causes a painful and bitter rift between them and their families.
I recommend this book (at least so long as you can buy it for less than a buck) to all straight people who might be contemplating inviting a gay friend or relative to your wedding, because even if you and your friends aren't political, you should at least have some sensitivity that the invitation might be painful, and a bigger role (being a member of the wedding party, for example) might be even more painful. (That's not to say you shouldn't send the invite, but be a little sensitive, and don't, under any circumstances, DO NOT refer to your gay friend's long term partner as "and guest" on the invite!) Think of it as something similar to inviting a dear friend to a baby shower when you know she's struggled with infertility or suffered a miscarriage: you want to include her, but if she finds it too painful to join your celebration, lay off because it isn't about you.
Steven and Adam are a sweet, supportive couple. Steven is a funny, endearingly neurotic narrator. They seemed really authentic to me, especially because the things I disliked about them are things that annoy me about some of my own gay male friends. (Tip: you may have accepted Fashion as your personal lord and savior, but my eyes glaze over when you start name-dropping designers the same way your eyes do when the Jehovah's Witnesses show up at the door.) I liked that they both loved their families and wanted to be happy for them, and I was frustrated that their generally-supportive relatives just did not Get It for so long.
I really, really liked that the story didn't pitch the couple against their family in a way that made the lovers sympathetic and the straight relatives insensitive clods: all of the main characters were nuanced and multifaceted. The straight siblings initially think Adam and Steven are being self-absorbed attention whores for refusing to support their Big Day, which is valid because sometimes they are self-absorbed attention whores...just not about this. Steven plans his brother's stag party, at a strip club, thinking he's being selfless because of course HE has no interest in a strip club, only to realize that he didn't give any thought to what his brother would actually want.
My biggest frustration with this book was the lack of editing. Maybe some readers care more than I do about the protagonists' fashion choices and gym regimens, but I wager *no one* cares about the steel cut oats they have for breakfast and how often they clean out their closets. There is some extraneous, boring minutia that the reader will need to skim, but otherwise, it's worth the read--especially at this price!
I recommend this book (at least so long as you can buy it for less than a buck) to all straight people who might be contemplating inviting a gay friend or relative to your wedding, because even if you and your friends aren't political, you should at least have some sensitivity that the invitation might be painful, and a bigger role (being a member of the wedding party, for example) might be even more painful. (That's not to say you shouldn't send the invite, but be a little sensitive, and don't, under any circumstances, DO NOT refer to your gay friend's long term partner as "and guest" on the invite!) Think of it as something similar to inviting a dear friend to a baby shower when you know she's struggled with infertility or suffered a miscarriage: you want to include her, but if she finds it too painful to join your celebration, lay off because it isn't about you.
Steven and Adam are a sweet, supportive couple. Steven is a funny, endearingly neurotic narrator. They seemed really authentic to me, especially because the things I disliked about them are things that annoy me about some of my own gay male friends. (Tip: you may have accepted Fashion as your personal lord and savior, but my eyes glaze over when you start name-dropping designers the same way your eyes do when the Jehovah's Witnesses show up at the door.) I liked that they both loved their families and wanted to be happy for them, and I was frustrated that their generally-supportive relatives just did not Get It for so long.
I really, really liked that the story didn't pitch the couple against their family in a way that made the lovers sympathetic and the straight relatives insensitive clods: all of the main characters were nuanced and multifaceted. The straight siblings initially think Adam and Steven are being self-absorbed attention whores for refusing to support their Big Day, which is valid because sometimes they are self-absorbed attention whores...just not about this. Steven plans his brother's stag party, at a strip club, thinking he's being selfless because of course HE has no interest in a strip club, only to realize that he didn't give any thought to what his brother would actually want.
My biggest frustration with this book was the lack of editing. Maybe some readers care more than I do about the protagonists' fashion choices and gym regimens, but I wager *no one* cares about the steel cut oats they have for breakfast and how often they clean out their closets. There is some extraneous, boring minutia that the reader will need to skim, but otherwise, it's worth the read--especially at this price!
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