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Bullyproof Your Child for Life: Protect Your Child from Teasing, Taunting, and Bullying forGood
View our feature on Joel Haber's Bullyproof Your Child For Life.
As featured in the New York Times -an expert's proven technique for stamping out bullying.
"Bully Coach" Joel Haber, Ph.D., is one of the foremost experts in the prevention of bullying. A pioneer in the field, he has worked with thousands of kids, parents, teachers, counselors, and others to understand the root causes of the bullying dynamic-from identifying bully types to exposing the reasons why kids become bullies, targets, or bystanders-and stamp it out once and for all.
Delivering a practical, supportive, and step-by-step "bullyproofing prescription" that yields lasting results for both boys and girls, from grade school through high school, Bullyproof Your Child for Life offers specific action steps to help any child build resilience and confidence, develop compassion and trust, and thrive in school, camp, sports, and beyond.
Empowering, instructive, and inspiring, this muchneeded guide will help parents detect the early signs of bullying and intervene-with lasting results.
As featured in the New York Times -an expert's proven technique for stamping out bullying.
"Bully Coach" Joel Haber, Ph.D., is one of the foremost experts in the prevention of bullying. A pioneer in the field, he has worked with thousands of kids, parents, teachers, counselors, and others to understand the root causes of the bullying dynamic-from identifying bully types to exposing the reasons why kids become bullies, targets, or bystanders-and stamp it out once and for all.
Delivering a practical, supportive, and step-by-step "bullyproofing prescription" that yields lasting results for both boys and girls, from grade school through high school, Bullyproof Your Child for Life offers specific action steps to help any child build resilience and confidence, develop compassion and trust, and thrive in school, camp, sports, and beyond.
Empowering, instructive, and inspiring, this muchneeded guide will help parents detect the early signs of bullying and intervene-with lasting results.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
285 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
16 people are currently reading
70 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
June 2, 2012
Such a great book if your kid is a bully, a victim, or a bystander. Loved it. I loved how Haber gave you steps to take to make sure you don't raise a bully or a victim. Also appreciated the tips on cyberbullying. I would recommend this to every parent I know.
March 7, 2023
Ask questions about places where your child is less supervised (lunch, recess, hallway, bathroom, bus, etc)
Who do you sit with? If they aren't there, who would you sit with?
Have you ever sat alone?
Has anyone gotten picked on, teased, etc?
Does this ever happen to you?
If it did happen to you, who would you tell?
What adult at school do you feel safe with?
What kids do you feel safe with?
Is there a way to report this at school that you would feel safe doing that wouldn't make things worse?
Knowing if your child has friends around in these less supervised areas puts a buffer in from being bullied.
Asking the child if they ever seen bullying verse asking if they have been bullied maybe easier for the child to answer.
If I see serious evidence like torn clothes, child fakes being sick, etc then I'll need to take a more direct approach. "I see a problem here and I can't let this continue." Talk about the evidence I see and ask for details in a nonthreating way.
Bc I love you I'm not backing down from this.
I wont act on anything until we come up with a plan together, but I know there is a problem and I love you too much to ignore it.
Ask them about their feelings
Gather evidence (write down dates and events)
Empower you child by coming up with a plan.
Don't bully your child into doing things they don't feel comfortable doing.
Reward your child for talking about it. Praise them "I'm so proud you told me about the bulling situation and know you have a plan of action."
A girl and her friend would argue over little things if no consequences so the mom came up with the rule that there was no arguing except on wed. This helped them figure out boundaries, they would remind each other if the rule, and it was something they could laugh about together.
Who do you sit with? If they aren't there, who would you sit with?
Have you ever sat alone?
Has anyone gotten picked on, teased, etc?
Does this ever happen to you?
If it did happen to you, who would you tell?
What adult at school do you feel safe with?
What kids do you feel safe with?
Is there a way to report this at school that you would feel safe doing that wouldn't make things worse?
Knowing if your child has friends around in these less supervised areas puts a buffer in from being bullied.
Asking the child if they ever seen bullying verse asking if they have been bullied maybe easier for the child to answer.
If I see serious evidence like torn clothes, child fakes being sick, etc then I'll need to take a more direct approach. "I see a problem here and I can't let this continue." Talk about the evidence I see and ask for details in a nonthreating way.
Bc I love you I'm not backing down from this.
I wont act on anything until we come up with a plan together, but I know there is a problem and I love you too much to ignore it.
Ask them about their feelings
Gather evidence (write down dates and events)
Empower you child by coming up with a plan.
Don't bully your child into doing things they don't feel comfortable doing.
Reward your child for talking about it. Praise them "I'm so proud you told me about the bulling situation and know you have a plan of action."
A girl and her friend would argue over little things if no consequences so the mom came up with the rule that there was no arguing except on wed. This helped them figure out boundaries, they would remind each other if the rule, and it was something they could laugh about together.
December 22, 2011
This book provided a really well-rounded approach to helping children help themselves through the bully situations they will encounter. My notes ...
Friendship groups -- one of a child's best defenses is to have some friends, some true friends who aren't always looking to be top-dog. An isolated child is almost immediately a target for bullies. I liked how he talked about creating experiences for your child to be "friend eligible." Successes like that build upon each other and boost confidence and resilience.
Questions to ask (and not ask) -- I liked how he went over specifics here. "How was your day?" and "What did you do?" are dead ends. Ask who they sit by at lunch, who they sit by if their regulars are absent, then lead into specifics about if what situations they observe at school, THEN you can lead into situations they may be a part of.
Putting it into the child's hands -- I should have taken better notes here, it was basically a prescription of questions to go over to decide if it is really bullying, and if the child will be able to handle it on their own or not. Key here is making the child feel like they are helping to come up with the solution. An over-riding theme of this book is that you can really look at bullying as an opportunity for you to teach your child that they CAN get through a hard thing and be all the more strong for it.
Self-reflection -- Part of stopping bullying is keeping an eye on the behaviors exhibited at home. Even the subtle things that children may pick up on. Arguing and teasing are all good, if we are teaching our children good resolutions in the end. Teasing in safe family situations can actually be a really good thing for teaching children not to take themselves too seriously and be resilient.
Promote positive gossip -- be an example of this at home. Talk about others only in a positive way, especially important for young girls, where relational bullying is higher.
Bowling analogy -- I liked this idea a lot. A bully is looking to knock over as many pins as possible, so teach and practice with your child how to "keep the pins standing." A frown or looking down at the ground is one pin down, a failed comeback is five, crying and throwing a fit is a strike for the bully. If/when we are facing bullying problems again, I will be using this analogy.
The final chapters of the book were of little use to me; bullying in sports and at camps (his specialty), also cyberbullying, which isn't quite in my ballgame (yet!). Having read this, I am officially more equipped to understand what my child goes through and how to help.
Friendship groups -- one of a child's best defenses is to have some friends, some true friends who aren't always looking to be top-dog. An isolated child is almost immediately a target for bullies. I liked how he talked about creating experiences for your child to be "friend eligible." Successes like that build upon each other and boost confidence and resilience.
Questions to ask (and not ask) -- I liked how he went over specifics here. "How was your day?" and "What did you do?" are dead ends. Ask who they sit by at lunch, who they sit by if their regulars are absent, then lead into specifics about if what situations they observe at school, THEN you can lead into situations they may be a part of.
Putting it into the child's hands -- I should have taken better notes here, it was basically a prescription of questions to go over to decide if it is really bullying, and if the child will be able to handle it on their own or not. Key here is making the child feel like they are helping to come up with the solution. An over-riding theme of this book is that you can really look at bullying as an opportunity for you to teach your child that they CAN get through a hard thing and be all the more strong for it.
Self-reflection -- Part of stopping bullying is keeping an eye on the behaviors exhibited at home. Even the subtle things that children may pick up on. Arguing and teasing are all good, if we are teaching our children good resolutions in the end. Teasing in safe family situations can actually be a really good thing for teaching children not to take themselves too seriously and be resilient.
Promote positive gossip -- be an example of this at home. Talk about others only in a positive way, especially important for young girls, where relational bullying is higher.
Bowling analogy -- I liked this idea a lot. A bully is looking to knock over as many pins as possible, so teach and practice with your child how to "keep the pins standing." A frown or looking down at the ground is one pin down, a failed comeback is five, crying and throwing a fit is a strike for the bully. If/when we are facing bullying problems again, I will be using this analogy.
The final chapters of the book were of little use to me; bullying in sports and at camps (his specialty), also cyberbullying, which isn't quite in my ballgame (yet!). Having read this, I am officially more equipped to understand what my child goes through and how to help.
April 15, 2009
I’ve never read a parenting book that was a page turner, but this book was difficult to put down. I wish other authors of parenting books would use this one as a template. Joel Haber gives solution-based advice that is logically reasoned out. He teaches what bullying is, who the bully or the target usually is, and then gave us a wealth of ideas on how to resolve this common problem.
Mr. Haber writes down word-for-word what parents should ask or say, tells relevant and interesting stories, and shows the way to teach, explain, and problem solve with children of any age. I felt empowered after I read this book, like I had a tool belt full of exactly what I needed for any situation.
I have very minimal complaints. The book was too long. I believe a parenting book should never take a long time to read, preferably less than 200 pages. The book began to drag near the end during the camp chapter. The author is overly abundant in information and could have given the essential information more concisely.
What makes this book amazing is the author’s ability to expand this topic and make it apply to more than just bullying. He teaches parents how to handle conflict in the home, to have happy children, and to give children the emotional tools that will enable them to never be a bully or a bully’s target. I have been and will be a better parent because of this book.
For those who tormented or were tormented, for parents who want happy children, and for educators or those who work with children, this book is an essential guide for acknowledging the reality of abuse among children and for working toward a more peaceful and healthy growing experience. Anyone involved in working with children should make this book part of their training curriculum. This book will be on my bookshelf until I give it to my children to help my grandchildren.
Mr. Haber writes down word-for-word what parents should ask or say, tells relevant and interesting stories, and shows the way to teach, explain, and problem solve with children of any age. I felt empowered after I read this book, like I had a tool belt full of exactly what I needed for any situation.
I have very minimal complaints. The book was too long. I believe a parenting book should never take a long time to read, preferably less than 200 pages. The book began to drag near the end during the camp chapter. The author is overly abundant in information and could have given the essential information more concisely.
What makes this book amazing is the author’s ability to expand this topic and make it apply to more than just bullying. He teaches parents how to handle conflict in the home, to have happy children, and to give children the emotional tools that will enable them to never be a bully or a bully’s target. I have been and will be a better parent because of this book.
For those who tormented or were tormented, for parents who want happy children, and for educators or those who work with children, this book is an essential guide for acknowledging the reality of abuse among children and for working toward a more peaceful and healthy growing experience. Anyone involved in working with children should make this book part of their training curriculum. This book will be on my bookshelf until I give it to my children to help my grandchildren.
October 29, 2012
As a communication coach, the impact of our words and body language is of great interest to me. This easy-to-read book disspells some of the myths around bullying, such as "bullies have low self-esteem." In fact, bullies have no compassion and seek to exploit opportunities to increase their social status -- by humiliating others and exluding others socially.
Dr. Haber recommends several steps to stop and prevent bullying. This book will sensitize you to the many facets of bullying. In my experience, what is commonly called shaming and slandering among adults is also a form of bullying.
Dr. Haber recommends several steps to stop and prevent bullying. This book will sensitize you to the many facets of bullying. In my experience, what is commonly called shaming and slandering among adults is also a form of bullying.
April 14, 2011
I picked up this book based on Amazon reviews. I know that bullying problems are common among the ages of my children and I wanted to know what was out there. THe real message of the book is helping your child to develop strategies to fortify themselves against "bullies" rather than trying to control their environment.
April 24, 2011
Interesting. I liked the parts about looking for the signs that your child is being bullied, & how to talk about it with them, and how to help your kid not be so much of a target. I felt like maybe it could have been longer.
August 19, 2015
This is my first anti-bullying book and I found within it a lot of good ideas and suggestions. It talked a lot about doing parent/child role plays at home to practice how to react to teasing but it didn't give suggestions for the role plays.
Currently reading
April 14, 2008Interesting thoughts on how to help kids to not get pushed around...
February 3, 2011
This book contains many practical suggestions to help a child that is being bullied. Some of it is redundant and so I skimmed a bit.
Read
August 24, 2012Got about half way before the library slurped back the ebook. I think I should just buy it - it's that good.
June 6, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews