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Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical

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The first love song in the world, as composed by a pig in the Garden of Eden…
The Devil, alarmed when his hobby of writing romantic fiction begins to upstage his day job…
A man finding love with someone who has an allergy to his happiness, another losing love altogether when his wife gives him back his heart in a Tupperware box…

By turns macabre and moving, horrific and laugh-out-loud funny, Robert Shearman's short stories come from a place just to the left of the corner of your eye. Following his World Fantasy Award-winning 'Tiny Deaths', this new collection puts a bizarre twist on the love story. What is love, why does it hurt so much, and how is it we keep coming back for more?

Sometimes poignant, sometimes cruel - but always as startling and fresh as Shearman's fans have come to expect.

230 pages, Leather Bound

First published January 1, 2009

13 people are currently reading
1082 people want to read

About the author

Robert Shearman

173 books228 followers
Robert Shearman has worked as a writer for television, radio and the stage. He was appointed resident dramatist at the Northcott Theatre in Exeter and has received several international awards for his theatrical work, including the Sunday Times Playwriting Award, the World Drama Trust Award and the Guinness Award for Ingenuity in association with the Royal National Theatre. His plays have been regularly produced by Alan Ayckbourn, and on BBC Radio by Martin Jarvis. However, he is probably best known as a writer for Doctor Who, reintroducing the Daleks for its BAFTA winning first series, in an episode nominated for a Hugo Award.

His first collection of short stories, Tiny Deaths, was published by Comma Press in 2007. It won the World Fantasy Award for best collection, was shortlisted for the Edge Hill Short Story Prize and nominated for the Frank O’Connor International Short Story Prize. One of the stories from it was selected by the National Library Board of Singapore as part of the annual Read! Singapore campaign. In 2008 his short story project for BBC7, The Chain Gang, won him a Sony Award, and he provided a second series for them in 2009.

He is now at work on his first novel.

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5 stars
160 (45%)
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127 (35%)
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56 (15%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
Profile Image for MJ Nicholls.
2,281 reviews4,876 followers
May 18, 2014
The stories in this collection use fiendish or fantastical conceits to emphasise the various vicissitudes of love that occur in our rude vicissitudinous lives. The prose herein is free from baubles (i.e. the writer isn’t straining to show his devastating cleverness and quick wit and slick phrasemaking to prove his MFA credentials [because he’s got none unless having written Doctor Who scripts counts as a credential (not to this reader it don’t)]) and this works for the tone of the stories en masse. ‘Love Among the Lobelias’ features Satan as a softcore romance novelist whose bestseller kills its readers, ‘Your Long, Loving Arms’ a man who finds accepting work as a tree might have consequences for his marriage, ‘Luxembourg’ a small European nation that disappears from the map and returns to consequences for one woman’s relationship, ‘Be of Good Cheer’ a woman only happy when making her partner literally as miserable as possible, and ‘George Clooney’s Moustache’ a woman with a disturbing case of Stockholm syndrome that has consequences for her attacker. The less appealling stories here are the longer ones (each story is too long anyways) or those that push their more whimsical conceits such as ‘Roadkill,’ ‘Pang,’ or the awful ‘Jolly Roger,’ containing two OAP blow-job scenes that should never have been written for the love of God. Otherwise, Shearman has attempted a concept collection à la Stephin Merritt’s 69 Love Songs, on a homelier and more heartwarming scale. Alas, I am too shy and cynical to really dig his sincerity.
Profile Image for Consuelo.
660 reviews87 followers
August 11, 2020
Una colección de cuentos sobre el amor, desde un punto de vista muy particular. Y uno de ellos contiene la autocrítica más despiadada que he leído. Los relatos rezuman mucha ironía, un poco de mala leche y bastante ternura a pesar de todo. Muy recomendable, para románticos empedernidos (puede funcionar como vacuna) y también para desilusionados.
Profile Image for Santiago Gª Soláns.
901 reviews
September 1, 2021
La plasmación de las historias de amor no siempre debe ser en tono acaramelado y romántico, y Shearman lo sabe a la perfección. Sus canciones de amor disparan a donde más duele con una ternura inesperada.
Profile Image for Borja.
512 reviews132 followers
September 10, 2020
Una colección de relatos con el amor como nexo común súper interesante. Una calidad media notable y muchos muy chulos.

Una pena que la edición esté llena de problemas ortotipográficos de todo tipo. Un buen par de pasadas le hubieran venido que ni pintadas.
Profile Image for Tim Rideout.
582 reviews10 followers
January 13, 2018
‘Luxembourg had been misplaced in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.’

On a par with authors Miranda July and George Saunders, Rob Shearman’s collection of short stories uses the uncanny to tell us important things about important things.

Each story is an encounter with our world off by about 5°. The subject of each story is ‘love’. Not gushing, sentimental love, but real love. The kind that comes and goes. Mundane, exciting, sexual, platonic, long-lasting, fleeting, unrequited, selfless, selfish, physical, visceral, ethereal love.

Shearman is a talented teller of stories. More than that, he is an exquisite observer of human nature.
Profile Image for Libros Prohibidos.
868 reviews454 followers
December 7, 2020
Canciones de amor para tímidos y cínicos está dedicado al amor, aunque sea un sentimiento frío, apagado, de relaciones longevas en las que el tiempo, la rutina y la convivencia han desgastado (cuando no directamente erosionado) ese amor, si es que alguna vez lo hubo. Pues esa es la sensación que transmite Shearman: la del amor como algo utilitario, maquinal, casi una obligación en una sociedad, la británica, que bajo su pluma se nos muestra glacial, encorsetada, flemáticamente pequeñoburguesa y cínica hasta la acidez.
Reseña completa: https://libros-prohibidos.com/robert-...
Profile Image for Cate Gardner.
Author 45 books104 followers
August 25, 2011
Marvellous... of course. I did not expect otherwise. I now want to make a small nation disappear.
Profile Image for Narrelle.
Author 66 books120 followers
November 14, 2022
Many people met Robert Shearman at Aussiecon 4 in September, and we bandied about words like 'funny' and 'adorable' and 'wicked'. Well, I bandied them at any rate. And Rob Shearman is all those things. He is also sharp, smart and extraordinarily gifted.

I picked up Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical because I like Rob Shearman, I liked his Dr Who episode, 'Dalek', and the strangely dark story Road Kill that was published by Twelfth Planet Press. I had just appeared on an Aussiecon panel with him about SF and Theatre, too. I wanted to find out more about his work. John Richards (of Boxcutters) had read the collection of short stories and said that they were bleak. Rob insisted that they were funny.

I've read the whole collection now. It turns out that John and Rob are both correct.

Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical is a collection of short stories about love. Not about happy-clappy, soppy, head-over-heels love - but about what love is, and isn't. It's about what love does to us, and how it hurts us, and how we are afraid of it. Ultimately, it's also about love's potential, and how it can be sublime as well as all those other things.

Some of the stories are indeed very funny. The opening tale, Love Among the Lobelias, explores what happens when the Devil launches his writing career. His attempts to explore his softer side have unintended consequences and it seems that there are people in the world more evil than the Prince of Darkness. 14.2 is another darkly funny tale and a warning about attempts to measure or quantify love.

There are very dark, bleak and bitter stories too. There are tragedies and horror stories. Be of Good Cheer, about a woman who suffers physical pain when other people are happy, and so the man who loves her keeps himself miserable for her sake, reminded me so strongly of people that I know that I found it devastating.

Among the tales of bleakness and darkness, there are gentle, sweet stories too, like Love in a Time of Sharing, and forgiving stories, like Luxembourg.

Towards the end, Not About Love becomes surreally metatextual. It's a story about this collection of stories, where the dark subjects within are criticised by Shearman's own family. It's like he's answering the critics already about what he thinks of love, and his own apparent cynicism on the subject. This leads into One Last Love Song, which is as uneasy and complicated as all the rest, but is also a statement about the transcedence of love without being in the slightest bit mawkish or sentimental.

Robert Shearman very much deserves the awards he has been gathering for Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical - which include a British Fantasy Award for Best Collection. He won in the same category for the Shirley Jackson Awards. His love stories are not always easy reading. Even the funny ones are full of humanity being fragile, cruel or selfish. But there is also kindness and, yes, love.

Love is complex and sometimes twisted, and it's a joy (and a heartbreak) to read a collection of stories about love which manages to be both knowing and forgiving of all humanity's flaws.
Profile Image for Estefi Everdeen.
81 reviews24 followers
October 11, 2020
Otro maravilloso descubrimiento que he disfrutado mucho y que me he leído con tranquilidad, “saboreando” cada página. Para empezar les diré que como pueden imaginar son relatos de amor, pero con la peculiaridad de que no es ese amor “ñoño”, empalagoso o típico de todas las historias que solemos leer con sus respectivos clichés y eso es lo que hace a estos relatos tan especiales y sobre todo muuuuy peculiares. Como bien dice el autor en uno de sus relatos, es un libro que “recoge una colección de reflexiones sobre el amor y su fragilidad, su crueldad, su fluctuante significado en la cultura basura de hoy día “, así que ya podeis haceros una idea mas o menos de que se sale de lo normal. Por ello estos relatos me han encantado, obviamente unos mas que otros, pero todos tienen un toque de terror y comedia negra que hace que te preguntes qué cómo se le ocurrió escribir tal genialidad. Es fascinante como el autor integra elementos y situaciones cotidianas propias del amor en todas sus facetas, con algo de surrealismo llegando a veces a lo absurdo. Otra de las cosas que me han dejado con la boca abierta cada ves que terminaba un relato ha sido la imaginación del autor, de verdad es algo que solo podrían entender si lo leen, increíble 😍


Sorprendentemente una ves mas encuentro que en dos de los relatos se nombra la isla de Tenerife, y como siempre os digo me encanta cuando mientras leo pasa eso, canarias en mi corazoncito siempre 💖
Profile Image for Miguel Ocaña.
268 reviews
July 31, 2021
En realidad el libro mola, pero no es para todo el mundo.

En momentos me recordaba a Kafka, planteando situaciones super raras, turbadoras y muy fuera de lo convencional.

Y es por lo que aboga el libro, por no ser convencional, a lo Cronenberg o Ballard.

Introduce en cada relato elementos fantásticos pero los personajes no suelen reaccionar a ellos, solamente están, y a veces eso destila un humor británico genial que da lugar a situaciones de lo más extrañas.

Hacia la segunda mitad del libro ya le has cogido el gusto y en cada relato te preparas para saber cuál va a ser "el siguiente chiste" que va a desarrollar de forma inesperada. Y los 3 últimos relatos le dan un sentido genial a toda la obra.

Creo que le guardaré un buen recuerdo incluso aunque no se pueda decir que sea una experiencia de disfrute convencional.
Profile Image for Ignacio.
1,452 reviews302 followers
July 17, 2021
Muy bien Shearman al reunir una colección de relatos temática alrededor del amor en todo el amplio espectro: romántico, paterno-filial, tóxico, marchito, no correspondido... Y abordado desde situaciones muy diversas que bordean lo fantástico, el terror, la fantasía, lo surrealista. A veces desde un punto absurdo que, creo, no termina de funcionar, pero la mayor parte de veces con inteligencia y una mala hostia que saca punta al concepto en multitud de direcciones. El libro se deja una estrella en su edición de La máquina que hace Ping. Hay que agradecer que haya publicado libros de relatos inesperados como lo están haciendo, pero después... hacía tiempo que no veía una maquetación tan desastrosa. Tranquilamente, no hay página que no tenga uno, dos o hasta tres diálogos mal acotados. No descabalga al lector por la escritura de Shearman, aunque entre el editor y el ¿corrector acreditado? ponen su empeño.
493 reviews6 followers
May 5, 2020
Brilliant selection of short stories from Rob Shearman. Each tale looks at various types of love in a wonderfully skewed way and the superb narration of these really adds an extra something. it is also worth listening to the interview at the end for added insight and a bonus track too.
Profile Image for Benedict Reid.
Author 1 book3 followers
May 31, 2012
This book made me cry. One story in particular just grabbed me. A few unsettled me. And then, yes, there were a couple that didn't work for me. But even the stories which didn't speak to me had a certain intellectual interest.
I don't tend to cry when I'm reading.
So I guess what I'm saying is that this is an extraordinarily good book.
Profile Image for Gi.
120 reviews1 follower
May 10, 2024
I found this short story collection which I bought when I was a teen whilst clearing some old books out. I bought it as it was by the writer of one of Doctor Who's best episodes, Dalek, and I wanted something I could pick up and put down but clearly I just put it down as I'd only read the first three stories (given where my bookmark was). So whilst travelling this week I thought this would be good to read whilst waiting for the plane and on trains, ect, and gave it another shot...

Love Among the Lobelias: not much substance to dig into but a very funny idea with a Pratchett style wit!
Roadkill: I get it's themes but it kinda was a character study where you never got the opportunity to know the characters, which made it pretty dull.
Sweet Nothings: Another very Pratchett-y story about the garden of eden, pretty cute, nothing special!
Pang: Feels like a half-baked Black Mirror plot that couldn't quite find it's hook! Almost something special but without the hook completely falls flat for me.
The Creeping Thing: Don't get me wrong, this is well written, which is probably it's problem as it genuinely made me so upset. I genuinely started crying in public, this one hit a nerve for me and I hated it for that...
14.2: Maybe I was upset about the last still but the gave me no feelings at all, just didn't get it...
Your Long, Loving Arms: Another one that's very obviously a metaphor for modern work culture but...just doesn't do much more with that.
At the Crease: Loved that memorandum of a sweet time with a rotting core that reminds us how we always try to sugarcoat bad things in our life.
Luxembourg: Heard this was the best of the stories alongside the first three and had to get to it before DNFing, especially fitting when going to Europe for Eurovision, and yeh it's a strong story with a 'twist' ending that in my opinion kinda ruined it a little for me!

Then I didn't finish this but have marked it as read as I'm a cheat! An undercooked collection of story ideas that struggle to stand alone as stories themselves, and have such an odd teen angst to them that I'd have loved when I bought the book but not when I read it!
Profile Image for Sophie Noel.
320 reviews23 followers
August 11, 2017
This was such a wonderful discovery.
As much as I like reading the best sellers and mainstream books that I can discuss with others, sometimes it's really nice to just pick something up something without knowing a single thing about it and just diving in. Honestly, I didn't even know this was a short story collection till I started reading. I just saw it was short and I loved the title so I broke out of my sometimes strict tbr schedule. Not a single one of my goodreads friends had this shelved (and I avoided reviews), so I had no idea whether this would be complete garbage or not. I'm shocked this hasn't gotten more recognition. It's dark and witty, mixing a blend of the real world and broken relationships with magical whimsy and the bizarre. It reminded me quite a bit of Neil Gaiman in style and tone, except I personally enjoyed this far more than any of Gaiman's works. Most short story collections have a range of good and bad stories, but out of the 6 in here, I really only disliked 1 of the stories. My favorite story, Pang, was weird and charming, telling the story of a couple who separate and the man receives his beating heart back from his wife in a tupperware container. The brand of dark humor and fantastical twists was definitely up my alley and made this a enjoyable and surprising read. Another thing I loved was the author interviews after the each short. I love hearing why and how a story is created, and I thought this worked great as a audiobook.
Check it out, people.
46 reviews
November 10, 2024
Pretty entertaining, but not without flaws

I've always enjoyed Robert Shearman's Doctor Who work, it always has a good juicy idea to sink your teeth into mixed with a devilishly cynical sense of humour.

I think perhaps that this book demonstrates that he is better suited to a bigger novel to flesh out the characters and settings a bit more.

The short stories are somewhat mixed in quality. All have pretty good ideas at the heart of them and they all vary in terms of subject matter and tone. As a short story collection it's good that these aspects are present.

However the quality is reflected in the length. The longer stories are less compelling somehow, it feels like Shearman has more to say but knows he's restrained to the length of a short story, so the longer stories seem to spin their wheels for a bit. The shorter stories have a certain brevity that gets the idea across and have punchier lines
Profile Image for Kez.
177 reviews4 followers
December 4, 2018
To be honest, I have no strong feelings about this book.

Robert Shearmen clearly has a vivid and twisted imagination, making for a totally unique selection of short stories. I did, however, find them to lack any real substance or meaning, and found that they were often provocative just for the sake of being provocative. 'The Creeping Thing' (the one about the dead cat) maaaay have stirred something deep down in the chasms of my heart, but other than that, I remain unchanged. Also worth nothing that most of these stories contain descriptions of some weird and graphic sex, so if you're a virgin like me you might find that a bit unsettling!! :)

15 year old angsty Kezia probably would have loved this book for its weirdness and its desire to push boundaries. 24 year old Kezia thought it was pretentious, and truthfully, a little bit soulless... 3 STARS!!!
Profile Image for Christy .
923 reviews1 follower
February 19, 2021
This is the most bizarre thing I have ever read, and it's got Rob's unique voice all over it.

Each of these stories reaches out to a part of humanity that we all know, a part of love that we all feel, a part of ridiculousness that's comfortable enough to be believable, and that edge of darkness and horror that feeds our nightmares.

Not that I expected anything less than pure brilliance.

I'm just grateful that the book ended on the element of a high note (for finishing reading at 10pm just before bed), because some of these stories left me needing a light on to tamp down my unsettled edge!
Profile Image for Lesley.
84 reviews4 followers
March 5, 2018
Once in a while, a book comes along that resonates with you so perfectly that every line seems to be a moment to be savored. I loved every story in this book - the sad, the strange, the humorous and the disturbing. The twists in each story, just a few degrees off from conventional reality, kept me eager to see where the plot and characters would take me. This book was a joy to read, and I only regret that I won't be able to read it for the first time again.
Profile Image for Colin.
1,693 reviews1 follower
August 1, 2020
Love.
I read this as an audiobook and it has some short interviews with the writer where he talks self-deprecatingly about the stories and their faults but in spite of the flaws I just found them lovely and funny if the Sheen Bookshop had had a copy I'd have snapped it up in my way home, having just finished the last story which made me feel close to tears even though I'd be the first to admit it's a tiny bit corny.
Profile Image for Silvia.
201 reviews16 followers
May 18, 2023
Los relatos están enmarcados en un mundo de fantasía con un punto incluso macabro (el mismo diablo escribiendo ficción romántica, la primera canción de amor escrita a Eva por un cerdo en el Paraíso o una mujer devolviendo su corazón a su marido en un tupper, son buenos ejemplos.). El objetivo del autor aquí es presentarnos una perspectiva del amor no romántica, sino hurgar en los aspectos más dolorosos y polémicos para llegar a replantearnos si no será todo un invento de la sociedad para mantenernos distraídos.
Profile Image for Mel.
3,523 reviews213 followers
February 21, 2018
While I loved the other book of Rob Sherman's that I read this one just didn't do it for me. It was all horribly dull people in horribly dull relationships having bad sex. The first story about the Devil was nice but the rest really didn't do much for me.
Profile Image for Hassan Mallah.
61 reviews15 followers
June 27, 2018
Nice mix of stories and well delivered by Big Finish.
I like the interview with the writer in the end, it adds a nice touch and more understanding to the stories.
1 review
April 26, 2020
I have read this book several times and each time I read it I'm struck by its wit. I love the way Shearman is able to weave magic and the macarbe with the mundane so seemlessly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jacquelyn.
7 reviews
June 27, 2020
Absolutely bizarre in such amazing little ways. Highly recommend, it's a fun and breezy read.
Profile Image for Ayesha Ratnayake.
Author 7 books12 followers
July 28, 2022
A charming collection of quirky, lightly grisly short stories, one of which even brought a tear to my eye.
Profile Image for S.J. Townend.
Author 29 books52 followers
May 5, 2024
Love, in all its dark and humorous speculative forms. Another brilliant collection from Shearman; so funny, so clever, so oddly disturbing. One of the best writers out there, in my humble opinion.
Profile Image for Suzanna.
Author 3 books21 followers
January 3, 2025
Omfg YES. Weird, sometimes twisted, always off the vanilla path of How Normal People Do Things. I adored this collection.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews

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