Water for My Camels: Navigating the Space between Singleness and Marriage when the Bible Doesn't Talk about Dating

by Paul Grimmond

The Bible has some fascinating stories of how two people meet and marry—like the Genesis story of Isaac, Rebekah and their thirsty camels. But you’ll search in vain for Bible stories that resemble the modern-day custom we call ‘dating’, or for explicit teaching from Jesus or his apostles on the topic. So how do we navigate the modern road from singleness to marriage, which is paved with potential pitfalls, temptations and hurts—unhelpfully influenced as we are by our culture’s godless view of dating and sex?

In Water for My Camels, Paul Grimmond takes us on a deep dive into the Bible’s teaching about marriage and singleness, showing how it shapes our approach to dating. Tackling this serious subject with his usual wit and humility, Paul guides us into biblical answers to the ‘who’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ dating questions, while also honestly and humbly tackling other thorny issues

How do I know if it’s God’s will for me to get married?How do I find a like-minded person to date, and is online dating a good idea?How do I start or end a dating relationship?How do I get over the pain of a breakup?How do we know when we’re ready for marriage?How can we keep God at the centre of our dating relationship?

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Parenting, Theology, Faith, Marriage

127 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 11, 2023

Reviews

[Jacqui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perhaps nothing revolutionary, but I appreciated that! No one needs I Kissed Dating Goodbye 2023 Edition, we need solid biblical wisdom applied to our particular culture. I found his encouragement to 'date in community' quite interesting. Also, props for brevity - I read it in a single (2 hour) train trip!

[Jacob · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fantastic book that helps break down the intricacies of dating and straightens out how it can/should be done as a christian.
It's well written and the voice that Paul Grimmond writes with helps make the reading easy when it could have been slow and arduous.

I highly recommend a read as it has a lot of wisdom on offer for christians at all stages of relationship and age.

[Bell Wann · Rating 4 out of 5]

"don't marry your cousin" - well, thanks I guess. Everything in it is good and true, and it lays out the very foundations of Christian dating..... in saying that, I don't think pastors should only recommend this book for guidance. This is kind of a "if you don't know this already, wth are you doing" kind of book. Compatibility is about a lot more than having the same faith, not being related to each other and not already being married.

[Sarah Chappell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives solid, biblical and practical advice about dating as a Christian. Nothing revolutionary was said, but I think that’s part of the reason I enjoyed it so much - it just made common sense.
It didn’t over complicate or dodge certain questions, but also was written in a sensitive and loving tone.

Would recommend 👍

[Katie Gibbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read in one evening and definitely skimmed large sections which appeared to be saying exactly what I expected them to say, but seemed like solid stuff, and I really enjoy the decision to give a good quarter of the book to Q&As

[Tom Creek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly good book.

[Tim Sheppard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book came well recommended by a friend, and I can see why she was so positive about it. While acknowledging the Bible is silent on the topic of 'dating', the author has done a good job of sketching out what God does have to say, and sharing much wisdom on how that can apply in the context of dating. In general he maintains a wonderful level of freedom in his advice, trying to show the biblical principles that shapes what he recommends, and saving his most prescriptive instructions for areas where the Bible's teaching has obvious and necessary applications.

This will be my 'go to' book when people ask me for dating guidance. Not that it's perfect - it's a slim book without flourish (I would have enjoyed more of the humour with which it began!), and once or twice I found myself wishing there had been a tiny bit more nuance in what he said. But for a book that is intentionally short and 'to the point', that's probably asking too much. I don't think I've read a better book on dating, and it narrowly missed out on 5 stars.

[Nicholas · Rating 3 out of 5]

A helpful reminder that the Bible describes only the 2 categories of singleness and marriage, and that dating is the current culturally-relevant method of considering movement from the first to second category. Grimmond identifies some helpful Biblical principles that should undergird a Christian view of dating, as well as the cultural context which influences our perception of dating. Yet a large portion of the book consists of dating wisdom addressing a range of topics in Q&A format, some of which derives from collective and/or individual experience. Read with an eye to differentiating the principles from (useful) wisdom, this book would be most useful to someone who hasn't previously considered how God's word should shape how we date

NB: If you prefer audio-visual learning you may enjoy listening to the talk and Q&A this book was based on

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is definitely a good resource to use and recommend to help explain a Christian approach to dating for youth or young adults. Paul is really clear about where he is coming from, holds true to biblical principles in a gracious and sensitive way, and the Q&A (which is very long!) would be really helpful for people to find biblical wisdom for what they may be specifically wondering regarding dating.
A recurring topic of dating in community isn’t something I’ve head much of before, but Paul makes it seem very common sense.

[Haydn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best book I’ve read on this topic by any Christian author.

When I was 17, I read Joshua Harris’s infamous book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. My youth group leader gave it to me, with a warning that she didn’t agree with a lot of what it said but trusted that I would have some wisdom to discern what was good and bad about it (a dubious amount of trust to give to 17 year old me!)

The gulf between this book by Paul Grimmond and “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” is immense. Grimmond’s pastoral heart and sheer difference in life experience shines clear with this very helpful book.

The points he delivers are clear, practical and gentle, even as he doesn’t pull any punches. The sense of clarity that this (helpfully) concise book gave me is pretty great and I’d easily recommend this book to any Christian, dating or married.

[Nathan]

Clearly written. Accessible. Balanced Biblical wisdom, cultural insight and practical suggestions. Modelled well how to live wisely (and offer wisdom/ethical guidance) within gospel freedom.

[Trish Booth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super practical and easy read to think more intentionally about Christian ethics on dating.

[Ellie Dawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely and helpful!

[Toby Doffing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paul writes this timely book in way is firm on what scripture is firm on, and provides wisdom in where it's not. While he does not address all facets of navigating the space between singleness and marriage, he gives a clear picture of what we should be aiming for in dating and supplies a lot of great things to think about when trying to walk out our lives in faith and love. My only concern with the book is his lack of Biblical language in certain parts (considers guy/girl relationships as "friends" instead of brothers and sisters) and doesn't bring in much scripture on making decisions out of faith. He also doesn't really address strong Biblical commands (don't show favoritism/partiality etc.) and how we can apply those today to brother/sister relationships and how those play into dating relationships. While this book will definitely give you some good things to think about, I would measure it carefully against scripture (as you should with all books) and definitely not base your entire dating/relationships theology off of it.

[Caela · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick and practical book on dating. Would recommend for any Christian wanting a biblical perspective on dating. I appreciated the wisdom and humility Paul writes with. He has answers but doesn’t assume that they’re all right.

[Lucy Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

such great wisdom, learnt so so much

[ethan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book that navigates the space between marriage and singleness from a biblical standpoint.

Although it did not clearly provide answers for dating as a Christian, it was still a rich resource on the biblical approach to marriage and singleness.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is a single Christian young adult looking for a spouse.

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I've read on this topic. So helpful - brief, biblical, engaging, wise, and clear.

[Laura Bracken · Rating 5 out of 5]

This concise book gives good, Godly wisdom that is very applicable to young singles today. I would most recommend this book for graduating high school seniors and college students. However, as someone in her late 20s I found many parts of this book helpful. Grimmond stated many of the things that I had to discover myself. I also appreciated that he did not back away from the conversation of how to break up well and in a way that honors the other person, especially when both parties belong to the same church. The last chapter is purely question-answer style (51 questions) which will be helpful to reference over and over. Overall: well written, biblically sound, concise, and applicable.

*Parents of teenagers, read this book too!* You will find aspects of this book helpful as you are guiding your children through their feelings and relationships.

*Married couples with single friends, read this book too!* Understand what your single friends are thinking and feeling. Dating is hard. Don’t underestimate their struggle because yours looks different.

[Allison Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an excellent resource! Grimmond does a good job of keeping the sovereignty of God in tension with the felt experiences of believers. He is careful to not go beyond what the Scriptures say in prescribing practices, but also gives solid wisdom principles to pursue. Perhaps the part of the book I enjoyed most was the way the FAQ section was utilized. Rather than having it be short as most books of this kind would have, he answers 51 questions that readers may ask including: when to remain single for the sake of the kingdom, forming healthy friendships with the opposite sex, if online dating is a good idea, how to counsel friends who are making unwise decisions, and more. There are a few things he says that I will need to chew on more before deciding if I agree with him but nothing major. A great, quick read!

[madii ੈ✩ ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

helpful insight into christian dating! lots of wisdom packed together in a brief and accessible way, i especially loved its emphasis on dating in community.

i don’t agree with all of grimmond’s ideas and i do wish that his answers, particularly the q&a segment, were more biblically grounded, but that being said, he made some strong references to scripture and to his own experience also which i appreciated. although i anticipated a little more depth to this, it was still a fruitful read :)

[Eva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Biblical, grounded & practical. Written in a warm tone with a 'common sense' approach that does not dodge difficult topics.

This was not earth shattering and there's nothing revolutionary but this is a book written with a sensitive tone full of helpful advise.

Would recommend.

[Mattie Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simple and biblical, but too accommodating in certain areas… should have been more direct and firm in the categories that the Word is direct and unwavering.

[Matthew Magee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I've read on dating. Concise, biblically grounded and honest about the complexities of relationships. Doesn't set up hard and fast extra-biblical rules.

[Seri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read! Only took me 2.5 hours and you get such a beautiful, biblical insight into dating!! Would recommend to non-Christians too!

[El · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read it because it was recommended by church leaders. It devoted a lot of space to define a biblical understanding of marriage and singleness, as well as the principles of the space from singleness to marriage according to the Bible, and how it compares to the social norms of the modern world today, which is helpful to a certain degree. But dating is such a huge topic today and involves so much complexity of the modern social issues today, so this thin book really felt like just scratching the surface. Especially the second half of the book is entirely FAQ yet most answers appeared too brief to provide much practical guidance to the complex and realistic questions asked

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

solid book
- why sex is special and should be treated as such (spoiler: it's because marriage is special (and that's because our relationship with God is special!))
- current culturally accepted paradigms on sex and marriage and what the bible says about them
- super practical advice on navigating dating, fleeing from sexual immorality and what to do in a myriad other scenarios
- gentle and loving tone, firm biblical principles
- can finish in <2h

[Luke Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s been a while since I’ve needed to read anything myself on this topic & have been reluctant to recommend any titles from the time that I last did need to. This title was wonderfully balanced and refreshing in its approach. Solid in its biblical foundations & timelessly relevant in its applications & principles, with no hard & fast rules. Can recommend & will be a go to recommendation for those navigating this space.

[Casey Howell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is probably the best book I have read on this topic. I think it gives a very full picture of what marriage is, thus what dating should be. I think this book is a little too brief on a couple of things, which can lead to some wrong assumptions or confusion. I also think the local church should have been a little more pointed to throughout the book. The Q&A in the back is fairly helpful and could just be a cool reference.

[Logan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christian dating is a confusing space. Grummond attempts to provide a lot of practical clarity in a short, easy-to-read volume, written in the same manner as an older friend would speak to you. I especially appreciated his "Q&A" section in the back of the book with fifty-plus very practical questions.