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Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide
"Chris has managed to write a great primer for Latter-day Saints who desperately need a new way to navigate their changing relationship with the Church. I could have been spared a lot of heartache, had I had this book ten years ago when church started getting really complicated for me. Full of practical advice, it’s sure to become a handbook for individuals who struggle with what’s in a different Handbook."
—Cynthia Winward, Co-host, At Last She Said It
"One of the most difficult reads of my life. … I found an undeniable ring of authenticity, sincerity, and vulnerability in Chris’s writing that made it impossible for me to dismiss or cast his experiences aside. As I finished Living on the Inside of the Edge, quite exhausted, I felt as though I had made a new friend—one who drove me a little crazy, one very different from me in some ways, but a friend that I now hold in profound respect."
—Loren Marks, Professor, BYU School of Family Life; Co-director, American Families of Faith National Research Project
"In my experience, Mormon adults do a lousy job of talking to one another as adults, with all the complexities adulthood entails. That’s what makes Living on the Inside of the Edge so refreshing—it’s a book by a Mormon adult for other Mormon adults. You probably won’t agree with everything here. Chris doesn’t care. He just wants you to be an adult. I’m pretty sure God does too."
—Patrick Mason, Author, God’s Call to the 21st-century World
"Every week, I hear from people who have one foot out the door of the Church but actually want to find reasons to stay. For those people, Christian Kimball’s book is a lifeline, containing wise suggestions about how to stay for those who choose to do so. … Kimball employs his liminal position to the reader’s advantage, advocating for “middle-way Mormons” as a consummate observer and judicious friend."
—Jana Riess, Senior columnist, Religion News Service; Author, The Next How Millennials Are Changing the LDS Church
—Cynthia Winward, Co-host, At Last She Said It
"One of the most difficult reads of my life. … I found an undeniable ring of authenticity, sincerity, and vulnerability in Chris’s writing that made it impossible for me to dismiss or cast his experiences aside. As I finished Living on the Inside of the Edge, quite exhausted, I felt as though I had made a new friend—one who drove me a little crazy, one very different from me in some ways, but a friend that I now hold in profound respect."
—Loren Marks, Professor, BYU School of Family Life; Co-director, American Families of Faith National Research Project
"In my experience, Mormon adults do a lousy job of talking to one another as adults, with all the complexities adulthood entails. That’s what makes Living on the Inside of the Edge so refreshing—it’s a book by a Mormon adult for other Mormon adults. You probably won’t agree with everything here. Chris doesn’t care. He just wants you to be an adult. I’m pretty sure God does too."
—Patrick Mason, Author, God’s Call to the 21st-century World
"Every week, I hear from people who have one foot out the door of the Church but actually want to find reasons to stay. For those people, Christian Kimball’s book is a lifeline, containing wise suggestions about how to stay for those who choose to do so. … Kimball employs his liminal position to the reader’s advantage, advocating for “middle-way Mormons” as a consummate observer and judicious friend."
—Jana Riess, Senior columnist, Religion News Service; Author, The Next How Millennials Are Changing the LDS Church
320 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 17, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
April 21, 2023
I recently bought a new pair of athletic shoes, the same brand that I have been wearing for fifteen years. I have always bought the same size, regardless of the model, and worn them comfortably. I was so confident about the fit that I didn’t even try them on. When I got home and wore them around the house, I immediately sensed that these were different, and after an hour or so, it became obvious that they were not working out, and I had to return them. The standard size no longer fits. Is it that the brand has changed how they make their shoes, or are my feet changing as I get older? Do I change brands, or do I look for a different model in the same brand?
Some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may feel that their relationship to the Church is like those new shoes. Something that seemed so comfortable no longer feels the same. We may have changed, or it may be something that changed in the Church itself.
Christian Kimball’s new book, Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide, is not a book about the Church itself, nor as Kimball makes clear, a memoir. It is not about theology or history. It is a self-help book for members of the Church who find themselves at odds with or feeling somehow distant from the center of the church. The center is calm, comfortable, and familiar. Away from that center, members may have second thoughts about doctrine, policy, church history, or their relationship with the church. Call them cafeteria Mormons, middle way Mormons, heterodox, or other descriptions, they are members who no longer feel as at home in the pews as they used to. Whatever they are called they may be questioning their affiliation with the Church that used to be so comfortable.
Kimball himself is one of those “living on the inside of the edge,” a grandson of Church President Spencer W. Kimball and former bishop who finds himself at odds with the church and culture that he grew up in. He is not interested in telling anyone to stay in the Church, to leave, or to try and change the Church from the inside. He instead wants those who may need this book to gain some self-knowledge and make decisions for themselves. As he explains in his introduction, after being released as bishop, surviving a bout with cancer, and reaching the end of his career, “This book is the voice of an old man living on bonus time, having nothing to lose, telling the no-apologies real stuff from his point of view and life experience.” [p 9]
What follows is a series of chapters about working with yourself, working with the institution of the church, and working with the church culture. In the chapters about working with yourself Kimball encourages those dealing with discomfort to try and develop an adult-to-adult relationship with the Church, rather than a parent-child relationship. Such a relationship, based in personal differentiation, can often prevent binary thinking, a dangerous mode, according to Kimball.
“Conform or leave is precarious. In or out is an in-your-face challenge. Differentiating almost always opens up options, alternatives, middle grounds, personal choices. Having options and knowing you have options can be essential to survival on the inside of the edge.” [p 16]
Kimball then writes about working with the institution of the Church. This section includes talking with the Bishop, temple recommend interviews, callings, and Membership Councils (formerly disciplinary councils). For some, avoiding these contacts with the Church may be the answer. Some may choose to leave activity, or sever their membership completely. Kimball makes no attempt to suggest what individuals should do. He wants his experience to help others who may be off balance in their relationship with the Church to have the tools necessary to figure out what to do that is best for them.
A section about working with the culture deals with understanding that there are real differences between policy and doctrine. “Very quickly it becomes apparent that distinction between church and gospel, and between policy and doctrine, are artificial and instrumental, i.e., made up with an end in mind…if you’re looking for an exception or want to feel good about cafeteria style Mormonism, you tend to describe lots of things as policy or practice, where others would call them doctrine.” [p 164] There are also what he calls shibboleths, or the insider language and activities that we use to self-identify as members of the Church. This includes the language of prayer, interpretations of certain commandments, and even the clothing that we wear. As Kimball points out, these cultural markers are not enforced or policed by the Church itself, but by members and the culture.
Questions about policy vs doctrine or orthodoxy vs heterodoxy can often lead to misunderstanding, contention, and even anger. Living near the edge, Kimball explains, is going to result in difficult situations and conversations. He suggests understanding that “You are not going to win. You will not persuade the world.” Contention often happens when someone asserts authority for their positions, and authority seldom backs down. Additionally, people seldom are persuaded to change their preconceptions. Play the long game, Kimball proposes, and value relationships so that you can continue to participate in future meaningful discussions. Pick your battles and maintain that long-term perspective.
The final section may be the most interesting, as Kimball invited friends and colleagues to write sections on how they have dealt with specific circumstances that have pushed them from the center towards the edge. The voices of women, singles, blacks, gay members, and others are represented to show how they deal with the complicated issues that can make someone feel less at home in the pews.
“If we want [as women] to remain in the Church,” Susan Meredith Hinckley writes, “women must be willing to accept, overlook, and in some ways sacrifice more than men do. There---I said it.” [p 212]
Mara Haslam writes that “It’s hard to be single in a church and culture that treats you as less than a adult, that sends the message that you have failed at achieving life’s primary goal…because you haven’t married.” [p 228]
Gay member David Doyle says that the “…choice to leave is always in front of me…It can be exhausting…I have to swim upstream to stay in this church.” [p 242]
“Every race related issue I have come across in the Church,” writes James Jones, “has come down to an ignorance of, apathy about, or hostility toward Black people and their experiences” [p 258]
There are several entries about raising families in complicated circumstances, acknowledging that trying to keep young people in the Church is an ongoing and difficult problem without any easy answers.
While Kimball’s primary audience in Living on the Inside of the Edge may be the members going through these experiences, the secondary, and perhaps more important audience may be the regular members and especially leaders who are firmly planted in the center. Understanding is the first step to empathy. A close friend of Kimball’s who is a current sitting bishop asked him “Tell me how I can minister to your readers, to members of my congregation who need and want this book.” As such, this book is just as important for those who don’t question, who don’t see issues, but are called to minister, love, and serve all of God’s people. In other words, all of us.
Some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may feel that their relationship to the Church is like those new shoes. Something that seemed so comfortable no longer feels the same. We may have changed, or it may be something that changed in the Church itself.
Christian Kimball’s new book, Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide, is not a book about the Church itself, nor as Kimball makes clear, a memoir. It is not about theology or history. It is a self-help book for members of the Church who find themselves at odds with or feeling somehow distant from the center of the church. The center is calm, comfortable, and familiar. Away from that center, members may have second thoughts about doctrine, policy, church history, or their relationship with the church. Call them cafeteria Mormons, middle way Mormons, heterodox, or other descriptions, they are members who no longer feel as at home in the pews as they used to. Whatever they are called they may be questioning their affiliation with the Church that used to be so comfortable.
Kimball himself is one of those “living on the inside of the edge,” a grandson of Church President Spencer W. Kimball and former bishop who finds himself at odds with the church and culture that he grew up in. He is not interested in telling anyone to stay in the Church, to leave, or to try and change the Church from the inside. He instead wants those who may need this book to gain some self-knowledge and make decisions for themselves. As he explains in his introduction, after being released as bishop, surviving a bout with cancer, and reaching the end of his career, “This book is the voice of an old man living on bonus time, having nothing to lose, telling the no-apologies real stuff from his point of view and life experience.” [p 9]
What follows is a series of chapters about working with yourself, working with the institution of the church, and working with the church culture. In the chapters about working with yourself Kimball encourages those dealing with discomfort to try and develop an adult-to-adult relationship with the Church, rather than a parent-child relationship. Such a relationship, based in personal differentiation, can often prevent binary thinking, a dangerous mode, according to Kimball.
“Conform or leave is precarious. In or out is an in-your-face challenge. Differentiating almost always opens up options, alternatives, middle grounds, personal choices. Having options and knowing you have options can be essential to survival on the inside of the edge.” [p 16]
Kimball then writes about working with the institution of the Church. This section includes talking with the Bishop, temple recommend interviews, callings, and Membership Councils (formerly disciplinary councils). For some, avoiding these contacts with the Church may be the answer. Some may choose to leave activity, or sever their membership completely. Kimball makes no attempt to suggest what individuals should do. He wants his experience to help others who may be off balance in their relationship with the Church to have the tools necessary to figure out what to do that is best for them.
A section about working with the culture deals with understanding that there are real differences between policy and doctrine. “Very quickly it becomes apparent that distinction between church and gospel, and between policy and doctrine, are artificial and instrumental, i.e., made up with an end in mind…if you’re looking for an exception or want to feel good about cafeteria style Mormonism, you tend to describe lots of things as policy or practice, where others would call them doctrine.” [p 164] There are also what he calls shibboleths, or the insider language and activities that we use to self-identify as members of the Church. This includes the language of prayer, interpretations of certain commandments, and even the clothing that we wear. As Kimball points out, these cultural markers are not enforced or policed by the Church itself, but by members and the culture.
Questions about policy vs doctrine or orthodoxy vs heterodoxy can often lead to misunderstanding, contention, and even anger. Living near the edge, Kimball explains, is going to result in difficult situations and conversations. He suggests understanding that “You are not going to win. You will not persuade the world.” Contention often happens when someone asserts authority for their positions, and authority seldom backs down. Additionally, people seldom are persuaded to change their preconceptions. Play the long game, Kimball proposes, and value relationships so that you can continue to participate in future meaningful discussions. Pick your battles and maintain that long-term perspective.
The final section may be the most interesting, as Kimball invited friends and colleagues to write sections on how they have dealt with specific circumstances that have pushed them from the center towards the edge. The voices of women, singles, blacks, gay members, and others are represented to show how they deal with the complicated issues that can make someone feel less at home in the pews.
“If we want [as women] to remain in the Church,” Susan Meredith Hinckley writes, “women must be willing to accept, overlook, and in some ways sacrifice more than men do. There---I said it.” [p 212]
Mara Haslam writes that “It’s hard to be single in a church and culture that treats you as less than a adult, that sends the message that you have failed at achieving life’s primary goal…because you haven’t married.” [p 228]
Gay member David Doyle says that the “…choice to leave is always in front of me…It can be exhausting…I have to swim upstream to stay in this church.” [p 242]
“Every race related issue I have come across in the Church,” writes James Jones, “has come down to an ignorance of, apathy about, or hostility toward Black people and their experiences” [p 258]
There are several entries about raising families in complicated circumstances, acknowledging that trying to keep young people in the Church is an ongoing and difficult problem without any easy answers.
While Kimball’s primary audience in Living on the Inside of the Edge may be the members going through these experiences, the secondary, and perhaps more important audience may be the regular members and especially leaders who are firmly planted in the center. Understanding is the first step to empathy. A close friend of Kimball’s who is a current sitting bishop asked him “Tell me how I can minister to your readers, to members of my congregation who need and want this book.” As such, this book is just as important for those who don’t question, who don’t see issues, but are called to minister, love, and serve all of God’s people. In other words, all of us.
February 18, 2023
A survival guide is right. Don't think this book is going to remove the challenges at church or give you a roadmap to making your relationship with the church strain-free. Kimball sets you straight from the get go:
"This book is for people like me who have concerns about the Church that make leaving a genuine consideration, but have decided or chosen or felt called to stay and now want to figure out how to make it work. This book is about how to make it work."
It's for those that struggle in the LDS church, like myself, who both love the church and its members, but are also challenged and frustrated.
Kimball offers mindsets, dives into the complexity, and has segments at the end covering a variety of challenges written by those in the middle of them, such as homosexuality or being black in a predominantly white religion. This is a great work.
Just know that the challenge is real and that this book, while offering great advice is not magic. It will give you tools to "survive" and I think potentially thrive to a certain extent. If you are heterodox and make it clear you don't fit the mold, you are not going to be "sitting on the stand", but you could be quite healthy amidst the dissonance.
"This book is for people like me who have concerns about the Church that make leaving a genuine consideration, but have decided or chosen or felt called to stay and now want to figure out how to make it work. This book is about how to make it work."
It's for those that struggle in the LDS church, like myself, who both love the church and its members, but are also challenged and frustrated.
Kimball offers mindsets, dives into the complexity, and has segments at the end covering a variety of challenges written by those in the middle of them, such as homosexuality or being black in a predominantly white religion. This is a great work.
Just know that the challenge is real and that this book, while offering great advice is not magic. It will give you tools to "survive" and I think potentially thrive to a certain extent. If you are heterodox and make it clear you don't fit the mold, you are not going to be "sitting on the stand", but you could be quite healthy amidst the dissonance.
May 21, 2024
This book is specifically written for members of the LDS Church who might want to find a way to stay in the church, in spite of so much cognitive dissonance that comes with being a grown-up and seeing the institutional flaws (and *waves hand around* all of the rest of everything.)
This book felt like a lifeline, partly because of the author and what I knew about him. I saw BCC press mention the book on Twitter and recognized the author's name immediately. He and his family were in my ward more than 25 years ago in the south suburbs of Chicago. His daughter was in young womens with me. I went to her birthday parties, slept over at her house. Her father, this author, is Spencer W. Kimball's grandson, a fact that we all knew and held with some reverence. As a young teen, I saw this family at church every week, revered their family name, and thought they must know what's up. (Even though this author's wife brought up liberal questions in every one of my mother's relief society lessons, a fact which I heard about a lot at the time and which makes me grin with glee now.)
Knowing that this author was speaking from a place "inside the edge", and that his daughter, whom I had known as fiercely intelligent, is now a member of a different church, gave me this feeling of relief. If this family was HERE, then maybe I'm ok, too. I really wanted to know what he had to say.
He's honest. He isn't trying to talk anyone into staying in the church. But he recommends an adult differentiating of self FROM the church, that allows us to choose what we can manage while still benefiting from the Christian teachings and community. He's very practical in his advice, going so far as to talk about how to approach Bishop interviews and disciplinary councils.
I found it a relief. The differentiation of self from the church is a rather astonishing concept for me as I've always been so black and white in my attempts to be a disciple. I recently read a quote from Richard Rohr where he says that God expects us to have an ADULT partnership with Him... Which is just. I mean. I've always been told to be like a child, that I know nothing and can't possibly be trusted to find the right path on my own. These concepts of adulthood in relation to God are completely new to me. But they put me on some steady ground, and for that I'm grateful.
I recommend this book if you're in this specific group. How can I stay when...? It won't talk you into staying, and it's very respectful of each person's own agency to make good choices for themselves.
This book felt like a lifeline, partly because of the author and what I knew about him. I saw BCC press mention the book on Twitter and recognized the author's name immediately. He and his family were in my ward more than 25 years ago in the south suburbs of Chicago. His daughter was in young womens with me. I went to her birthday parties, slept over at her house. Her father, this author, is Spencer W. Kimball's grandson, a fact that we all knew and held with some reverence. As a young teen, I saw this family at church every week, revered their family name, and thought they must know what's up. (Even though this author's wife brought up liberal questions in every one of my mother's relief society lessons, a fact which I heard about a lot at the time and which makes me grin with glee now.)
Knowing that this author was speaking from a place "inside the edge", and that his daughter, whom I had known as fiercely intelligent, is now a member of a different church, gave me this feeling of relief. If this family was HERE, then maybe I'm ok, too. I really wanted to know what he had to say.
He's honest. He isn't trying to talk anyone into staying in the church. But he recommends an adult differentiating of self FROM the church, that allows us to choose what we can manage while still benefiting from the Christian teachings and community. He's very practical in his advice, going so far as to talk about how to approach Bishop interviews and disciplinary councils.
I found it a relief. The differentiation of self from the church is a rather astonishing concept for me as I've always been so black and white in my attempts to be a disciple. I recently read a quote from Richard Rohr where he says that God expects us to have an ADULT partnership with Him... Which is just. I mean. I've always been told to be like a child, that I know nothing and can't possibly be trusted to find the right path on my own. These concepts of adulthood in relation to God are completely new to me. But they put me on some steady ground, and for that I'm grateful.
I recommend this book if you're in this specific group. How can I stay when...? It won't talk you into staying, and it's very respectful of each person's own agency to make good choices for themselves.
March 11, 2023
"Have you sat on your hands at church to keep yourself from saying something that would draw side glances?" This book fascinated me. It is addressed to those who feel a “call” to continue within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, while simultaneously feeling to do so is difficult.
"A Survival Guide" is the perfect subtitle. It is filled with practical ideas on how one might navigate the many cultural and religious hurdles those on such a journey face.
"A Survival Guide" is the perfect subtitle. It is filled with practical ideas on how one might navigate the many cultural and religious hurdles those on such a journey face.
February 28, 2024
I think this book could benefit those that are struggling with their place in the LDS church as well as those that are confused by members who are struggling. The author has a way of explaining things in an honest and raw way without being accusatory. I appreciated feeling validated and having words to attach to some of my feelings. Well worth the read and probably worth re reading at times.
February 13, 2023
A practical, thorough survival guide for people on some edge of the “inside” of the LDS faith. How I wish I had this book years ago! I loved that the author never tells readers what to think, only how to think. At every turn he emphasizes the importance of differentiation, counting the costs of our decisions, and acknowledging that the reasons for our choices may change over time. More importantly, he offers no easy answers, and plenty of sympathy for having walked this road himself.
I appreciated the organization of the book and its practical chapters on topics like sacrament, temple worship, and commandments. I also enjoyed the essays by guest writers on various topics. I felt both seen and inspired by their integrity and courage.
I appreciated the organization of the book and its practical chapters on topics like sacrament, temple worship, and commandments. I also enjoyed the essays by guest writers on various topics. I felt both seen and inspired by their integrity and courage.
March 21, 2023
There is a lot of hard-won wisdom in this book. I highly recommend it for anyone trying to figure out how to stay in the LDS church despite having undergone major shifts in understanding of and relationship to the church. It probably would have been more useful to me at a slightly earlier stage of my journey, as I’ve already come to my own sort of equilibrium living on the inside of the edge for at least this season of life — an equilibrium that accords with much of what Christian Kimball and others discuss in these pages, and in some ways differs — but I still found much in here that resonated and a good deal of helpful ideas for how I can continue to navigate this place. I definitely will be gifting and recommending this book to many others trying to do the same.
February 26, 2023
Brother Kimball and I are clearly kindred spirits.
I have been living on the inside of the edge for a decade. Its
a difficult place to be.But I realized in this book several things I am doing to make life on the inside of the edge harder. I especially liked how he included essays from more
Marginalized people within his book.
I have been living on the inside of the edge for a decade. Its
a difficult place to be.But I realized in this book several things I am doing to make life on the inside of the edge harder. I especially liked how he included essays from more
Marginalized people within his book.
June 7, 2023
While some of this I had figured out on my own, it is still a nice guide. You decide whether to stay or go, if you decide to stay he gives tips on things you will need to consider. I greatly appreciated the chapters by different people sharing their thoughts and feelings as well, some I didn't quite understand before. I appreciate reading their points of view.
Read
May 25, 2024Cognitive dissonance. Deconstruction. Christianity. Theology. LDS.
January 31, 2023
For those who are LDS and find it's a wonderful space where they thrive and fit in, this isn't the book for you.
For those who are part of the LDS Church yet have some issues with it but want to remain in this community, this is a book that could help you navigate staying in this space.
The book is not an argument to stay nor is it a defense of the LDS Church. Instead it's a how-to for staying connected with this church as an awake adult, some ways to make it work.
The book is not angry or throwing a bunch of bombs, and nor is it sweet and gentle. The author aims to illuminate possibilities and strategies. I think the book as a whole is weighty and more substantive.
For those who are part of the LDS Church yet have some issues with it but want to remain in this community, this is a book that could help you navigate staying in this space.
The book is not an argument to stay nor is it a defense of the LDS Church. Instead it's a how-to for staying connected with this church as an awake adult, some ways to make it work.
The book is not angry or throwing a bunch of bombs, and nor is it sweet and gentle. The author aims to illuminate possibilities and strategies. I think the book as a whole is weighty and more substantive.
March 13, 2023
This was such an inspiring book. I've struggled with some conflict in my personal beliefs and the reality of the LDS church and Chris Kimball provides tools and frameworks with how to navigate the razor's edge of full commitment and completely walking away.
July 29, 2025
BOOK REVIEW - Living on the Inside of the Edge, A Survival Guide by Christian Kimball (03.20.24)
Full disclosure my parents were sealed by Christian Kimball’s grandfather who was a cousin of my mom, and dad had a lifetime of correspondence with Pres. Kimball. My dad in some ways was an inside edge dweller. He was active but was one that pushed hard against the political extremism of some in the church and quietly and sometimes not so quietly advocated for an end to the priesthood ban. Living on the Inside of the Edge is a thoughtful, compassionate, and remarkably practical guide for those navigating the often delicate space between full church participation and personal authenticity. This book acknowledges the experience of Latter-day Saints who find themselves on the margins—not fully outside the faith, but not comfortably at its center either.
Kimball, himself a former bishop and a person of faith and nuance, speaks to a growing demographic within the Church: those who love aspects of their religious tradition but wrestle with doctrines, policies, or cultural expectations. He calls this space “the inside edge”—a position that offers both connection and distance, faith and freedom. For many, that edge can be a lonely, confusing place. Kimball makes it survivable—and even livable. Personally, I don’t care, nor to I think God cares what side of the edge we are on. We are in a big family in the Church and we will not nor should we agree with everyone or everything.
What distinguishes this book is its tone. It does not try to persuade readers to stay or leave. Instead, it affirms the complexity of the journey and respects the integrity of the individual. The book offers real tools for those choosing to remain engaged: advice on boundary-setting, community participation, how to handle tough conversations, and how to foster inner peace. It is pastoral without being preachy, honest without being bitter.
Perhaps most significantly, Living on the Inside of the Edge can be a lifeline for Latter-day Saints who feel they don’t fit the mold—whether because of faith doubts, social concerns, LGBTQ+ identity, feminist convictions, or other personal struggles. Rather than pushing people toward binary choices, Kimball provides permission to inhabit a faith identity with complexity and grace. He recognizes that religious belonging is not all-or-nothing and validates the worth of partial, conditional, or evolving participation.
Kimball doesn’t just describe life on the edge—he dignifies it. His words remind readers that they are not alone and that spiritual life can be meaningful even when it doesn’t follow the expected path. My only quibble is that too many people who get too close to the edge something withdraw from service to the community. I’m not talking about serving in callings but those that step away not just from the community but from the greater blessings of service within the community. I hope that all of us regardless of exactly where we fall on the edge will feel the blessings of forgetting ones on challenges and simply serving others. It calms the soul.
This book is a beacon for the honest, the weary, and the hopeful. In a world that often demands certainty and conformity, Living on the Inside of the Edge offers a rare and beautiful alternative: a vision of faith that makes room for complexity, conscience, and courage.
Quotes:
“You don’t have to fix everything to stay. You don’t have to believe everything to belong. You can choose to stay because you love, or because you are loved, or simply because this is your spiritual home—even if it’s not a perfect fit.”
“Living on the inside edge means making peace with tension. It is accepting that your faith might be made of questions as much as answers, and that your participation can be genuine even when it is cautious or conditional.”
Full disclosure my parents were sealed by Christian Kimball’s grandfather who was a cousin of my mom, and dad had a lifetime of correspondence with Pres. Kimball. My dad in some ways was an inside edge dweller. He was active but was one that pushed hard against the political extremism of some in the church and quietly and sometimes not so quietly advocated for an end to the priesthood ban. Living on the Inside of the Edge is a thoughtful, compassionate, and remarkably practical guide for those navigating the often delicate space between full church participation and personal authenticity. This book acknowledges the experience of Latter-day Saints who find themselves on the margins—not fully outside the faith, but not comfortably at its center either.
Kimball, himself a former bishop and a person of faith and nuance, speaks to a growing demographic within the Church: those who love aspects of their religious tradition but wrestle with doctrines, policies, or cultural expectations. He calls this space “the inside edge”—a position that offers both connection and distance, faith and freedom. For many, that edge can be a lonely, confusing place. Kimball makes it survivable—and even livable. Personally, I don’t care, nor to I think God cares what side of the edge we are on. We are in a big family in the Church and we will not nor should we agree with everyone or everything.
What distinguishes this book is its tone. It does not try to persuade readers to stay or leave. Instead, it affirms the complexity of the journey and respects the integrity of the individual. The book offers real tools for those choosing to remain engaged: advice on boundary-setting, community participation, how to handle tough conversations, and how to foster inner peace. It is pastoral without being preachy, honest without being bitter.
Perhaps most significantly, Living on the Inside of the Edge can be a lifeline for Latter-day Saints who feel they don’t fit the mold—whether because of faith doubts, social concerns, LGBTQ+ identity, feminist convictions, or other personal struggles. Rather than pushing people toward binary choices, Kimball provides permission to inhabit a faith identity with complexity and grace. He recognizes that religious belonging is not all-or-nothing and validates the worth of partial, conditional, or evolving participation.
Kimball doesn’t just describe life on the edge—he dignifies it. His words remind readers that they are not alone and that spiritual life can be meaningful even when it doesn’t follow the expected path. My only quibble is that too many people who get too close to the edge something withdraw from service to the community. I’m not talking about serving in callings but those that step away not just from the community but from the greater blessings of service within the community. I hope that all of us regardless of exactly where we fall on the edge will feel the blessings of forgetting ones on challenges and simply serving others. It calms the soul.
This book is a beacon for the honest, the weary, and the hopeful. In a world that often demands certainty and conformity, Living on the Inside of the Edge offers a rare and beautiful alternative: a vision of faith that makes room for complexity, conscience, and courage.
Quotes:
“You don’t have to fix everything to stay. You don’t have to believe everything to belong. You can choose to stay because you love, or because you are loved, or simply because this is your spiritual home—even if it’s not a perfect fit.”
“Living on the inside edge means making peace with tension. It is accepting that your faith might be made of questions as much as answers, and that your participation can be genuine even when it is cautious or conditional.”
January 3, 2024
Like many of my peers, I am trying to reconcile my belief, the gospel, and the Church. This book gave beautiful perspective for the application of that process. I was fortunate to virtually attend a book club with the author and his wife and was pleased to hear that I fall within the age/experience range of the intended audience for this text. I found practicality, comfort, and encouragement within these pages.
December 1, 2023
This book is touted as a “survival guide” for those with one foot in and one foot out of the LDS church, specific to those who choose to currently stay even when things aren’t sitting right with them (hello, hubby!) It covers several topics and gives advice and real life essays on how to deal with the hard topics while still attending church (LGBTQ, non-orthodoxy, racial issues)—but the advice is so basic and formulaic. And I will say it-this is written by another older white man, former bishop in Utah who did not grow up with the nuanced practices you’ll find regularly outside of Utah. Thank you, Dad, for always ditching church and saying no to callings but still poring over scriptures with your kids!
What is lacking in this book is acknowledgment of the psychosocial needs of those struggling in their isolation from full church community. There is zero mention of God’s continued love and care for all. A true survival guide should address matters of the heart and not just the basics of “don’t tell your bishop you have questions if you want that temple recommend”.
What is lacking in this book is acknowledgment of the psychosocial needs of those struggling in their isolation from full church community. There is zero mention of God’s continued love and care for all. A true survival guide should address matters of the heart and not just the basics of “don’t tell your bishop you have questions if you want that temple recommend”.
April 24, 2023
I heard Christian Kimball being interviewed on two different podcasts and what was shared peaked my interest. I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and have been a practicing member all my life. When I checked this book out of the library, I immediately read the reviews on the back and could tell that this book might be a challenge for me to read.
I have decided in the past several years that I would do my very best to better understand the "non-typical" member of the church. At times this has been easy and at others, I still have questions. At times, this book was so easy to read, other times...I have/had questions, and then there were other times that I was just plain frustrated (maybe it was me, maybe it was Kimball, maybe it was even the situation).
There is no doubt that there are many challenges in the world today and unfortunately, I see some in the religion that is so near and dear to my heart and an integral part of my life. As the world and society continue to push new boundaries, there will always be questions and making any change to a world wide church has consequences, and definitely different wherever you are around the world. I'm positive changes don't seem to happen fast enough, and yet if we were to step back and recognize a change in one location could have significant consequences somewhere else in the world, that we might have a little more patience. Then again, maybe we never will because our society is a me, me society and we insist on right now.
I am grateful that Kimball was willing to share his own life challenges being a member of the Church and spending countless years serving his fellow man. At the end of the day, we have our agency to look out for others, whether on the inside of the edge or squarely in the middle.
I LOVED the chapters at the end of the book that were from other authors and it definitely made me ponder about where I stand on topics that are real that maybe I haven't considered. Fascinating book that has challenged me to think more about the whole picture and not just the one of not asking any questions and doing what I have always done because that may be what I was taught. In fact, in asking my parents a few questions, not in a confrontational way, I was actually surprised to hear that they may very well see things just a bit different as well. We are all learning!
I have decided in the past several years that I would do my very best to better understand the "non-typical" member of the church. At times this has been easy and at others, I still have questions. At times, this book was so easy to read, other times...I have/had questions, and then there were other times that I was just plain frustrated (maybe it was me, maybe it was Kimball, maybe it was even the situation).
There is no doubt that there are many challenges in the world today and unfortunately, I see some in the religion that is so near and dear to my heart and an integral part of my life. As the world and society continue to push new boundaries, there will always be questions and making any change to a world wide church has consequences, and definitely different wherever you are around the world. I'm positive changes don't seem to happen fast enough, and yet if we were to step back and recognize a change in one location could have significant consequences somewhere else in the world, that we might have a little more patience. Then again, maybe we never will because our society is a me, me society and we insist on right now.
I am grateful that Kimball was willing to share his own life challenges being a member of the Church and spending countless years serving his fellow man. At the end of the day, we have our agency to look out for others, whether on the inside of the edge or squarely in the middle.
I LOVED the chapters at the end of the book that were from other authors and it definitely made me ponder about where I stand on topics that are real that maybe I haven't considered. Fascinating book that has challenged me to think more about the whole picture and not just the one of not asking any questions and doing what I have always done because that may be what I was taught. In fact, in asking my parents a few questions, not in a confrontational way, I was actually surprised to hear that they may very well see things just a bit different as well. We are all learning!
July 25, 2024
I'll start by saying that this book is definitely NOT for everyone. If you feel comfortable in church every Sunday and you can't understand at all why some people leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this book is probably NOT for you. I would recommend you NOT read it. If you want to better understand WHY some people find it difficult to stay in the LDS Church, there are many books to help you understand that perspective, but that is not THIS book.
The author does NOT try to convince people to stay in the church or to leave. He says if you feel you need to engage with the church in a more nuanced way, if there are things you struggle with there, but you have decided you WANT to stay, here are strategies to do so. Some people will find some of his ideas helpful while they might find others totally objectionable. I'm guessing the author (former Bishop and grandson of President Kimball) would not be surprised and would be fine with that.
I feel like there are many ideas for how we can each make our faith our own that can be beneficial to many. Also, there are chapters in the book written by others in specific populations (women, single adults, LQBTQ, Black members) that provide additional insights outside of the realm of the author's own experiences. (Audiobook is read by James Jones - I LOVE his voice! He also wrote the chapter on his experience as a Black member of the Church.)
The author does NOT try to convince people to stay in the church or to leave. He says if you feel you need to engage with the church in a more nuanced way, if there are things you struggle with there, but you have decided you WANT to stay, here are strategies to do so. Some people will find some of his ideas helpful while they might find others totally objectionable. I'm guessing the author (former Bishop and grandson of President Kimball) would not be surprised and would be fine with that.
I feel like there are many ideas for how we can each make our faith our own that can be beneficial to many. Also, there are chapters in the book written by others in specific populations (women, single adults, LQBTQ, Black members) that provide additional insights outside of the realm of the author's own experiences. (Audiobook is read by James Jones - I LOVE his voice! He also wrote the chapter on his experience as a Black member of the Church.)
March 18, 2023
This book has been so important for me. I loved it, Chris Kimball spoke to my soul with a lot of the thoughts he shared and I think I will probably revisit it again and again. With that said, it’s not for everyone.*
The author says “This book fits a narrow genre with a limited audience… Unlike the majority of books with a Mormon flavor this book is not theology, not history, not a memoir or biography, not apologetic, not devotional.” “This is not a what’s wrong with the church book nor a how-to-fix-the-church manual.”
“this book is ultimately about not leaving, for people who feel called to stay.”
I think for me, what this book does is show me a real person who is showing up authentically in church and family circles - not pretending to be something they aren’t, and working through the discomfort that comes along with doing so. It also just helps me work through a lot of the complicated feelings that I have without telling me one way or other what to do. Nothing is black and white; and I appreciate how often that is acknowledged.
My review is getting long and I could keep going but I will spare you.
*For those who have a strong testimony of the truth claims of the church, I recommend Patrick Mason’s Restoration: God’s Call to the 21st Century World instead of this.
The author says “This book fits a narrow genre with a limited audience… Unlike the majority of books with a Mormon flavor this book is not theology, not history, not a memoir or biography, not apologetic, not devotional.” “This is not a what’s wrong with the church book nor a how-to-fix-the-church manual.”
“this book is ultimately about not leaving, for people who feel called to stay.”
I think for me, what this book does is show me a real person who is showing up authentically in church and family circles - not pretending to be something they aren’t, and working through the discomfort that comes along with doing so. It also just helps me work through a lot of the complicated feelings that I have without telling me one way or other what to do. Nothing is black and white; and I appreciate how often that is acknowledged.
My review is getting long and I could keep going but I will spare you.
*For those who have a strong testimony of the truth claims of the church, I recommend Patrick Mason’s Restoration: God’s Call to the 21st Century World instead of this.
November 11, 2024
Christian Kimball invites us to join in conversation about the Mormon experience, and draws us close, as if sitting around a living room. Discussions of shibboleths, lgbtq+ issues, garments, orthodoxy, commandments, judgement, sex, control, and magical thinking, it's all here.
I appreciate his insight, compassion, and suggestion to treat our relationship with the LDS church as an adult to adult relationship, not as a child to adult relationship, which many congregants accept and live.
When speaking of his adult children, some who have chosen to remain Mormon and others who have found other spiritual paths, Kimball states, "I take difference as inevitable. What I want for me, and my children, is not sameness or agreement but love and mutual respect."
Excellent book for nuanced members of the Mormon church or anyone curious and wanting to know more. I'm grateful for this book, and as grateful to Chris.
I appreciate his insight, compassion, and suggestion to treat our relationship with the LDS church as an adult to adult relationship, not as a child to adult relationship, which many congregants accept and live.
When speaking of his adult children, some who have chosen to remain Mormon and others who have found other spiritual paths, Kimball states, "I take difference as inevitable. What I want for me, and my children, is not sameness or agreement but love and mutual respect."
Excellent book for nuanced members of the Mormon church or anyone curious and wanting to know more. I'm grateful for this book, and as grateful to Chris.
January 1, 2024
You should know going into this that the author will not attempt to persaude you to go or stay but rather offers some thought provoking advice on how to navigate being a Mormon who wants to stay but needs some help navigating membership in the very high demand LDS church. I particularly liked the essays at the end of the book which cover routinely marginalized subgroups such as people of color, LGBTQ members, feminists, and a variety of complicated family situations.
Nothing I read here changed my mind but it certainly supported my personal decision. I believe this would be a helpful read for anyone struggling with staying in the pews. If the LDS church is your home and your family but you find yourself biting your tongue or even, yes I've done it, occasionally just walking out on a talk or lesson, this might be for you.
Nothing I read here changed my mind but it certainly supported my personal decision. I believe this would be a helpful read for anyone struggling with staying in the pews. If the LDS church is your home and your family but you find yourself biting your tongue or even, yes I've done it, occasionally just walking out on a talk or lesson, this might be for you.
April 25, 2023
Kimball shares decades of advice he's accumulated through his own experience staying involved in the Church after having stepped away from full activity.
I found Kimball's advice to be cathartic and challenging, in roughly equal amounts. I feel validated that he understands my struggle to stay involved in the LDS Church despite disagreeing with some of the policy and doctrinal positions currently taken by the Church. The challenge came when he asserted that some of the reasons I use to justify my continued involvement are ... unlikely to materialize in my lifetime. I recognize that he's very likely right, and even if he isn't, it may be wisest to assume that he's right, so even though I am done with the book, I will be coming back to these ideas for some time yet.
I found Kimball's advice to be cathartic and challenging, in roughly equal amounts. I feel validated that he understands my struggle to stay involved in the LDS Church despite disagreeing with some of the policy and doctrinal positions currently taken by the Church. The challenge came when he asserted that some of the reasons I use to justify my continued involvement are ... unlikely to materialize in my lifetime. I recognize that he's very likely right, and even if he isn't, it may be wisest to assume that he's right, so even though I am done with the book, I will be coming back to these ideas for some time yet.
February 10, 2023
This is sort of a niche book for Mormons who aren't 100%ers but still choose to stay in the Church. I liked it because Chris writes on a topic that is not talked about so much...or maybe just with others who feel the same way. He addresses the subgroups (LGBTQ, Blacks, etc) that might feel somewhat ostracized. I read it because he is a friend so I wanted to support his having published a book. For Mormons who feel in this category, he won't persuade you to stay or leave; he will just let you know that you are not alone.
March 7, 2023
One of my favorite books on faith and reasoning I have read yet.
Many points of consideration, and of deeper thinking.
The author does not tell you what to think, or say anything derogatory. He mentions that there are flaws large and small and how we move forward from those can be telling.
He doesn't beg people to stay, or push them off the edge. Like the subtitle says, "A survival guide". And it is all that and more.
I came away with deeper appreciation, more tools in my toolbox and a sigh of relief knowing I'm not alone in my faith in whatever form it is on any given day.
Many points of consideration, and of deeper thinking.
The author does not tell you what to think, or say anything derogatory. He mentions that there are flaws large and small and how we move forward from those can be telling.
He doesn't beg people to stay, or push them off the edge. Like the subtitle says, "A survival guide". And it is all that and more.
I came away with deeper appreciation, more tools in my toolbox and a sigh of relief knowing I'm not alone in my faith in whatever form it is on any given day.
May 7, 2023
Really great book on living on the inside of the edge of the LDS church. A book you don’t gift to others or recommend. It is personal but if it fits it is beautiful. I love that the answer to most of the ideas is to just do what is best for you at this point in time. Be your own authority. A book I plan to reread.
August 16, 2023
Not for heterosexual men who question the church.
If you are a straight man, don’t bother reading it. It’s not helpful. It will make women, LGTQ and other individuals feel better about the edge, but as a straight male, unless you want another guilt trip about how your very existence is the root of all societal problems don’t bother.
If you are a straight man, don’t bother reading it. It’s not helpful. It will make women, LGTQ and other individuals feel better about the edge, but as a straight male, unless you want another guilt trip about how your very existence is the root of all societal problems don’t bother.
September 20, 2024
I highly recommend this book
1) for people who no longer find their church desirable /recognizable or who find themselves questioning the culture/ attitudes/doctrine/ of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints
2) for people who love people described by number one
3) for people who want a more holistic way of seeing Christianity and Christ's message
1) for people who no longer find their church desirable /recognizable or who find themselves questioning the culture/ attitudes/doctrine/ of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints
2) for people who love people described by number one
3) for people who want a more holistic way of seeing Christianity and Christ's message
January 17, 2025
This is a good read. A good perspective. I recommend it to everyone. It was an eye-opener for me, even with my depth and breath of experience with the church and with people. I needed to hear the many voices included here, and visualize, even more than I have before the realities, the pain in the challenges that are faced by so many with issues and concerns that I don’t face.
February 8, 2023
Candid and heartfelt book about navigating involvement in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I appreciated the thoughtful perspectives in essay form in the back from other folks in similar situations—especially James Jones and Kajsa Berlin-Kaufusi.
March 16, 2023
As a former Mormon - but not an angry FoMo - I appreciated the infinite nuance Christian has woven into his survival guide for those who smell something rotten but cannot bring themselves to take out the trash. He is a brave man and I would be happy to sit by him anytime.
June 2, 2023
I found this book helpful and discouraging at the same time. The parts I thought were most helpful were the importance of identifying the reasons why you stay, and also the thoughts written by a variety of people at the end.
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