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Marriage: Whose Dream?
In this eye-opening booklet, Paul David Tripp shows how refocusing your dreams according to divine priorities can invigorate you and your marriage.
17 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1999
12 people are currently reading
196 people want to read
About the author
Paul David Tripp
133 books1,429 followersPaul was born in Toledo, Ohio to Bob and Fae Tripp on November 12, 1950. Paul spent all of his growing years in Toledo until his college years when his parents moved to Southern California.
At Columbia Bible College from 1968-1972, (now Columbia International University) Paul majored in Bible and Christian Education. Although he had planned to be there for only two years and then to study journalism, Paul more and more felt like there was so much of the theology of Scripture that he did not understand, so he decided to go to seminary. Paul met Luella Jackson at College and they married in 1971. In 1971, Paul took his first pastoral position and has had a heart for the local church ever since. After college, Paul completed his Master of Divinity degree at the Reformed Episcopal Seminary (now known as Philadelphia Theological Seminary) in Philadelphia (1972-1975). It was during these days that Paul’s commitment to ministry solidified. After seminary, Paul was involved in planting a church in Scranton, Pennsylvania (1977-1987) where he also founded a Christian School. During the years in Scranton, Paul became involved in music, traveling with a band and writing worship songs. In Scranton, Paul became interested in biblical counseling and decided to enroll in the D.Min program in Biblical Counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul then became a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) and a lecturer in biblical counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul has also served as Visiting Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
In 2009, Paul joined the faculty of Redeemer Seminary (daughter school of Westminster) in Dallas, Texas as Professor of Pastoral Life and Care.[1]
Beginning in June, 2006, Paul became the President of Paul Tripp Ministries, a non-profit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." In addition to his current role as President of Paul Tripp Ministries, on January 1, 2007, Paul also became part of the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA where he preached every Sunday evening and lead the Ministry to Center City through March, 2011 when he resigned due to the expanding time commitments needed at Paul Tripp Ministries.
Paul, Luella, and their four children moved to Philadelphia in 1987 and have lived there ever since. Paul is a prolific author and has written twelve books on Christian living which are sold internationally. Luella manages a large commercial art gallery in the city and Paul is very dedicated to painting as an avocation.[2] Paul’s driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ really does speak with practical hope into all the things they will face in this broken world. Paul is a pastor with a pastor’s heart, a gifted speaker, his journey taking him all over the world, an author of numerous books on practical Christian living, and a man who is hopelessly in love with Luella.
At Columbia Bible College from 1968-1972, (now Columbia International University) Paul majored in Bible and Christian Education. Although he had planned to be there for only two years and then to study journalism, Paul more and more felt like there was so much of the theology of Scripture that he did not understand, so he decided to go to seminary. Paul met Luella Jackson at College and they married in 1971. In 1971, Paul took his first pastoral position and has had a heart for the local church ever since. After college, Paul completed his Master of Divinity degree at the Reformed Episcopal Seminary (now known as Philadelphia Theological Seminary) in Philadelphia (1972-1975). It was during these days that Paul’s commitment to ministry solidified. After seminary, Paul was involved in planting a church in Scranton, Pennsylvania (1977-1987) where he also founded a Christian School. During the years in Scranton, Paul became involved in music, traveling with a band and writing worship songs. In Scranton, Paul became interested in biblical counseling and decided to enroll in the D.Min program in Biblical Counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul then became a faculty member of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF) and a lecturer in biblical counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia. Paul has also served as Visiting Professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.
In 2009, Paul joined the faculty of Redeemer Seminary (daughter school of Westminster) in Dallas, Texas as Professor of Pastoral Life and Care.[1]
Beginning in June, 2006, Paul became the President of Paul Tripp Ministries, a non-profit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." In addition to his current role as President of Paul Tripp Ministries, on January 1, 2007, Paul also became part of the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, PA where he preached every Sunday evening and lead the Ministry to Center City through March, 2011 when he resigned due to the expanding time commitments needed at Paul Tripp Ministries.
Paul, Luella, and their four children moved to Philadelphia in 1987 and have lived there ever since. Paul is a prolific author and has written twelve books on Christian living which are sold internationally. Luella manages a large commercial art gallery in the city and Paul is very dedicated to painting as an avocation.[2] Paul’s driving passion is to help people understand how the gospel of the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ really does speak with practical hope into all the things they will face in this broken world. Paul is a pastor with a pastor’s heart, a gifted speaker, his journey taking him all over the world, an author of numerous books on practical Christian living, and a man who is hopelessly in love with Luella.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 2, 2013
When I read Paul Tripp's work I usually find conviction and encouragement in his message. This pamphlet on marriage uses John 6 as the basis for a discussion on Christ's eternal purposes and our selfish, temporal ones.
December 12, 2018
This biblical counseling booklet addresses the issue of marriage and people’s hopes and dreams of marriage. It is a part of a series called “Resources for Changing Lives” printed by Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing. I highly recommend this booklet and also others booklet in the series since I have found them very beneficial for my own personal spiritual growth and also as a counseling and discipleship resource in pastoral ministry. For this particular title I read this along with others in our church small group. I think this booklet is ideal as part of pre-marital counseling, biblical counseling for those going through difficulties in marriage and even for those who are single who are not yet married but as something to work through concerning one’s dream and expectation of marriage.
The author Paul Tripp has many excellent diagnostic questions throughout the booklet which is very helpful for self-reflection, serious heart check and self-confrontation of one’s heart and motive. For instance in the beginning of the booklet Tripp asked “If you had to write down your dream, would start with, ‘If only…” and then he writes “and end with, ‘THEN I could be happy?’” This right off the bat helps us to start think about identifying what one’s idols are concerning what marriage is about.
In the first section of the book titled “Miracles and Signs” at first I wasn’t sure of where Tripp was going with his use of John 6 but then it came together with his point that there is a danger of pursuing Christ for what one feel they need for life rather than out of love for Christ. This is true for the topic of marriage; Tripp ask the readers if their goal is to attain “earthly bread” or “spiritual bread” of finding one’s satisfaction in Christ. The second section of the booklet titled “What is Your Dream?” asks convicting questions but also uses 1 Peter 1:3-9 to re-evaluate marriage difficulties and crushed expectations. The booklet’s recurring question is “What do I really hunger for?” but asked in different ways. I like that. It goes to the heart of things and I appreciate that the booklet also contrasts the negative consequences of doing marriage in a way that tries to find satisfaction from marriage that it wasn’t intended to fulfill versus finding first one’s satisfaction in Christ and then having that outflow into marriage. I also enjoyed the last section of the booklet on “When Dreams Crumble” that goes down to the solution found in His Word.
Again I recommend this booklet and the truth contain within it speaks to people in various situation in life from those looking forward to marriage and those within difficult marriage. Get this booklet today!
The author Paul Tripp has many excellent diagnostic questions throughout the booklet which is very helpful for self-reflection, serious heart check and self-confrontation of one’s heart and motive. For instance in the beginning of the booklet Tripp asked “If you had to write down your dream, would start with, ‘If only…” and then he writes “and end with, ‘THEN I could be happy?’” This right off the bat helps us to start think about identifying what one’s idols are concerning what marriage is about.
In the first section of the book titled “Miracles and Signs” at first I wasn’t sure of where Tripp was going with his use of John 6 but then it came together with his point that there is a danger of pursuing Christ for what one feel they need for life rather than out of love for Christ. This is true for the topic of marriage; Tripp ask the readers if their goal is to attain “earthly bread” or “spiritual bread” of finding one’s satisfaction in Christ. The second section of the booklet titled “What is Your Dream?” asks convicting questions but also uses 1 Peter 1:3-9 to re-evaluate marriage difficulties and crushed expectations. The booklet’s recurring question is “What do I really hunger for?” but asked in different ways. I like that. It goes to the heart of things and I appreciate that the booklet also contrasts the negative consequences of doing marriage in a way that tries to find satisfaction from marriage that it wasn’t intended to fulfill versus finding first one’s satisfaction in Christ and then having that outflow into marriage. I also enjoyed the last section of the booklet on “When Dreams Crumble” that goes down to the solution found in His Word.
Again I recommend this booklet and the truth contain within it speaks to people in various situation in life from those looking forward to marriage and those within difficult marriage. Get this booklet today!
August 27, 2022
We all have the internal narrative that wants things to be our way. PDT calls it, the Kingdom of Me. And whether we know it or not, we’re all broken people married to another broken person in a broken world, and simply, sin in its essence is self worship.
But PDT says the source of all our problems is the misplacemnt of worship, worshiping the wrong thing. To truly love your spouse enough is only possible when we love God as our ultimate source of joy and satisfaction. Only then, can we love others. He calls this vertical relationship. To love others we need to love God first. Because if all our hopes and dreams are dictated by others, who are selfish and broken, we’ll never be satisfied. But if we put our hopes and dreams on God, who already died for us and loves us indefinitely, we’ll never be left hanging. So the cure to a bad marriage is renewed worship in God.
My #1 takeaway is this. We all have this sense that if our partner was less like this or more like this, we’d be much happier. But this is a lie. Even if we assume that person changes in that way, we’ll find something else to blame them for. The source of the problem isn’t our partner, it’s actually us. We’re blaming the people around us instead of looking inwards. And when we look inwards, we find that the missing piece we’re missing is only truly satisfied from God. So I am the problem, and the solution is that I’m not worshipping God properly.
Marriage is the tool used to expose how selfish and broken we are. We can either resist that tool and live frustrated annoyed lives, or choose to accept this tool is getting me closer to God, and live happier.
But PDT says the source of all our problems is the misplacemnt of worship, worshiping the wrong thing. To truly love your spouse enough is only possible when we love God as our ultimate source of joy and satisfaction. Only then, can we love others. He calls this vertical relationship. To love others we need to love God first. Because if all our hopes and dreams are dictated by others, who are selfish and broken, we’ll never be satisfied. But if we put our hopes and dreams on God, who already died for us and loves us indefinitely, we’ll never be left hanging. So the cure to a bad marriage is renewed worship in God.
My #1 takeaway is this. We all have this sense that if our partner was less like this or more like this, we’d be much happier. But this is a lie. Even if we assume that person changes in that way, we’ll find something else to blame them for. The source of the problem isn’t our partner, it’s actually us. We’re blaming the people around us instead of looking inwards. And when we look inwards, we find that the missing piece we’re missing is only truly satisfied from God. So I am the problem, and the solution is that I’m not worshipping God properly.
Marriage is the tool used to expose how selfish and broken we are. We can either resist that tool and live frustrated annoyed lives, or choose to accept this tool is getting me closer to God, and live happier.
July 28, 2024
Excellent little booklet (only 17 pages) that's a quick read, but not necessarily an easy one. I found it both challenging and encouraging after almost 20 years of marriage.
It would be a sweet gift that you could tuck into an anniversary card at any stage of life, but I'd guess that it would be especially meaningful once or two years after the wedding, the first year after the "baby/toddler season" is over, and the first year of empty next/retirement.
It would be a sweet gift that you could tuck into an anniversary card at any stage of life, but I'd guess that it would be especially meaningful once or two years after the wedding, the first year after the "baby/toddler season" is over, and the first year of empty next/retirement.
March 7, 2023
Shockingly short. I wish it was a full book.
December 22, 2023
Super short. Sound Advice. Read in one sitting.
December 16, 2025
Everyone should read this book before marriage or if they are already married.
December 16, 2009
Is your marriage on the verge of breaking? Do you feel like you're being tossed against the rocks on a seashore?
Do you love your spouse yet feel like there is something missing? Are you longing to experience passion again?
Marriage: Whose Dreams? is a short booklet that will help you answer those questions and redirect your thoughts to the purpose of marriage according to God.
In 17 small and simple pages, Paul David Tripp leads you through several passages found in John and in 1 Peter to show you the meaning of your marriage and how you can rejoice no-matter the state of your marriage.
Sit down for 20 minutes and have your thoughts and heart be re-focused on God and His plan for your marriage.
Do you love your spouse yet feel like there is something missing? Are you longing to experience passion again?
Marriage: Whose Dreams? is a short booklet that will help you answer those questions and redirect your thoughts to the purpose of marriage according to God.
In 17 small and simple pages, Paul David Tripp leads you through several passages found in John and in 1 Peter to show you the meaning of your marriage and how you can rejoice no-matter the state of your marriage.
Sit down for 20 minutes and have your thoughts and heart be re-focused on God and His plan for your marriage.
September 22, 2009
This 17-page booklet would come in handy for a person wondering if it is 'wrong' for a believer to really really want to get married. Tripp helps the reader think about whose dream they are pursuing--their dream or God's plan? He also reminds the reader that many of God's gifts, including marriage, are not an end in and of themselves, but instead are meant to point us to see the deeper and fuller blessing of God.
One thing I found confusing was at first Tripp seemed to be speaking to the single person, then later (without transition) seems to be addressing those who are already married.
One thing I found confusing was at first Tripp seemed to be speaking to the single person, then later (without transition) seems to be addressing those who are already married.
May 8, 2015
I picked it up because it was a small book. He is making a few points but clear.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews