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76 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2022
His stomach twisted at the thought the living machinery which made up the Clockwork Brigade was breaking again, that they’d lost another cog. — Melvin
Warnings: minor bullying, people smuggling
I like this. I like the world created. I like the plot and the way it flows. There are time skips. The world has some moments where it feels fleshed out others where I was left with questions. The characters are likeable enough. Ezra Wren's creative streak plays well against Melvin Kaur's chameleon skills and easy charm. Each has their own motivation that aren't made apparent readily. The idea of clockwork just works. It laces them together in the best possible way. It is a job for both. I will warm that some people may not want to engage with this, but there is an element of people smuggling, though in the ideal rather than abusive or exploitative way.
There is half a chapter of smut that just feels rushed and out of place. A kiss. More than one. A conversation. A fall into bed but the act not described would have fit much better. I know that some readers would complain if it was missing but it feels forced and out of character for Ezra. Honestly, we never know what kind of man Melvin is. In his position, a rogue would almost fit better. It's kinda implied by the conversation with Antin. This is my big complaint. I don't hate smut, if I don't like your writing or aren't up for it I'll skip it, but it needs to fit in and make sense. I really don't feel it does here.
Some quotes and comments
• "This is a short story set in my Infernal War Saga universe. The Prince's Poisoned Vow is available now." — This from the prologue. I just feel it is worth including here.
• "He ignored the other man’s stare as he decanted some excellent E’ridian whiskey into matching crystal-cut glasses." — Every culture has created three things. Bread. Booze. And blades. I like that in fantasy or scifi it is often a whisky. (Melvin)
• “As you can see, I’m a little busy, Antin,” Melvin said breathily. “What’s all this ruckus for?”
There was a heavy pause before whoever Antin was sighed irritably. “Really, Melvin? Slumming it with merchants now?”
“You know I’ve never cared about status when pleasure is in the mix. That’s never been an issue in Helia.”
“We’re in Istal.”
“He does have excellent tools of the trade, if you were wondering.”
“And you needed to see them at this hour?” Melvin shrugged but otherwise didn’t move, though his breathing came a little fast, easily explained away by their predicament. “It is the Annual Spectacular Maker’s Fair this week. He’s been busy with work. We’d be busy with other things if you’d kindly leave.”
The pointed dismissal in his tone was all arrogance, as if Melvin expected to be obeyed simply because he was noble born. And that—miraculously—seemed to be the case, Ezra realized, because a noble’s word would always carry more weight than his own. — I love this whole exchange. It is a total powerplay. It shows a whole side of Melvin that he doesn't need or want to show to Ezra. (Melvin and Antin, as seen by Ezra)
The map was kinda useless for this one. 80p and all set in the same city. A world map is kinda superfluous at that point. While the map is superfluous the Glossary really isn't. If you want to include both include both but put the glossary first.
Luck was an inconvenient lover. Some days she was generous, and other days she was nowhere to be found. — MelvinA representative image:
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