The Smiling School for Calvinists

by Bill Duncan

In these 22 rough-and-tumble tales that alternate between the insular fishing community of Broughty Ferry and the looming tower-blocks of nearby Dundee, Bill Duncan introduces a rogue's gallery of memorable characters. They include the "Maist Ignorant Man in the World," who claims to have seen the only surviving man-eating eel on the east coast; 93-year-old Boat Rab, who has never set foot outside the village; the misadventures of an inflatable jacket; and a man for whom a strand of hair on an unworn suit brings back memories of his departed wife and dead son. Alternating between proper English and the Scottish vernacular, The Smiling School for Calvinists is a heady tour of a world at once decrepit and contemporary, wild and hilarious.

Genres: Fiction, Short Stories

Paperback

First published May 8, 2001

About the author

Bill Duncan is a Scottish writer. His non-fiction, prose and poetry has appeared in Chapman, Gairfish, The Source and Northwords. He taught English and media studies in Tayside and lives in Dundee.

Reviews

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm seeing a lot of people complaining that this is "written on Scots" and... Well isn't it just written on a Scottish accent? I mean, there are lots of normal English words just spelled on a way a resident of Broughty Ferry would say them.
Anyway, whatevs, it didn't put me off. The short stories are a mix of crazy absurd tales (man-eating eels, inflatable jackets.... Sorry, Jaikets) with little realistic moments of life. It's fun and often quite beautiful, but I felt like it was tailing off a bit by the end.
I actually found the book in a charity shop on Broughty Ferry itself, and I'd never heard of it but when I realised it was the local guy I just grabbed it on impulse and I'm glad I did.

[Kevin McAllion · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hugely enjoyable collection of short stories, which veer from the surreal to the touching with considerable skill. As a native of Dundee, I was familiar with the settings and dialect used but even someone outside of Scotland will soon get used to the way the book is written and become swept up in the well-crafted stories.
It will be fascinating to see if Duncan now tries his hand at a full-length novel and I would definitely look forward to seeing what his vivid imagination could come up with. Highly recommend.

[Juliet Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is very entertaining, made up of short stories and snippets from life in Broughty Ferry near Dundee in Scotland. Its full of surreal adventures and insights into urban Scottish life but also there are moments where the narrator takes time out to lie on the roof of his multistorey block of flats and watch the geese fly by.

What i didn't like about the book was the Scots. I love the Scots language, but it annoys me when a writer just uses variant spellings of English words to make us think we're reading Scots. Where are the real Scots words in this book? I think I counted four or five. No 'dippit', or 'glaekit', no 'haar' or 'stramash'. The value of Scots is surely in its unique, characterful and colourful words not in the variant spelling of the words that are spoken by everyone who speaks English.... I know that using too many real Scots words would potentially put off a lot of readers outside of Scotland, but then so does the variant spelling and its always possible to include a glossary.....

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've given up. Loved the title but should have trusted my instincts that reminded me I didn't like books written in Scots. It just wasn't worth trawling through for the occasionally very funny observations.

[Jonny Mott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this ages ago when I went through a phase of reading loads of short stories, but it made a real impression on me. I really like the very human little tales, peppered with fantastic eccentricity!