If the Buddha Had Kids: Raising Children to Create a More Peaceful World

by Charlotte Kasl

Zen and the art of raising children to make peace in the world . . .

In this wise and insightful volume, Charlotte Kasl applies her signature blend of spiritual guidelines, exercises, and practical advice to a stage of life that leaves many of us searching for answers. If the Buddha Had Kids draws from Buddhist, Quaker, and other spiritual traditions to help parents raise children who value cooperation, compassion, and understanding, emphasizing that finding peace within a family is the first step toward creating a peaceful world.

Beginning with creating a healthy bond with your child and moving through all stages of life, encouraging empathy, respect, fascination, and curiosity, Kasl explores the spiritual journey of parenting. She also draws on her decades of experience as a healer and practicing psychotherapist to tackle very practical concerns such as the roles of electronics, money, sexuality, and education, and what it means to find one’s voice.

This lively book promises to bring inspiration, humor, and wisdom to the joys and struggles of raising children in our contemporary world, and will serve as an enlightening companion for all moms and dads.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Buddhism, Philosophy, Personal Development, Psychology, Self Help

320 pages, Paperback

First published August 28, 2012

About the author

Charlotte Sophia Kasl, PhD, is a U.S. psychologist and author.

She pioneered the 16-Steps for Discovery and Empowerment as an alternative to the Twelve-step program for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems.

She wrote several books based on some aspects of Sufi, Quaker, and Buddhist spiritual beliefs and traditions.

Reviews

[Cindy Hudson · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are many books to help parents decide how to raise their children. But a new book by Charlotte Kasl, Ph. D., takes an approach I haven’t seen before. It’s called If the Buddha Had Kids: Raising Children to Create a More Peaceful World. While the guide touches on the tenets of Buddhism and how they relate to parenting children, it also has lots of common sense advice for parents who are searching for ways to raise their children with both love and discipline.

Kasl starts by explaining some of the basic tenets of Buddhism, then she goes on to explore how they can be applied to common situations parents find themselves facing. Each chapter takes an issue—why children misbehave, managing emotions feelings and impulses, use of electronics, struggles over food, and more—and looks at how parents can respond.

Kasl uses examples, both good and bad, from her own parents and discusses challenges she faced raising her own daughter. The chapters are written so it’s easy to focus and reflect on a single issue before moving on to another. To help with the reflection, Kasl frequently lists suggestions and questions for parents.

You don’t need to believe in Buddhism to find the ideas helpful, and Kasl isn’t trying to convert readers to those beliefs as she writes. Rather, she provides advice that will help parents even if they don’t accept all of her suggestions.

The publisher provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

When you set out to read an "advice book" that is exactly what you are going to get, the author's personal adviced and opinions about the subject at hand. It felt really long and was a bit dry to get through. Some of the advice seemed pretty good: respect your children, be patient, listen, give them plenty of opportunities to learn and grow. However, interspersed in the logical advice of respectful parenting, was some odd, and not at all scientifically backed opinions. One head scratcher was the endorsement of eating for your blood type. She didn't say you had to do this, but clearly she thought it was good advice. Also, for a book about Buddhism, she references her Quaker upbringing quite a bit and it doesn't feel like this book is really grounded in Buddhism, per se.

Anyway. If you feel like you need some pointers on parenting I say it doesn't hurt to skim through and take what feels right to you and leave the rest.

[Alie Stumpf · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really loved the beginning of this book & it’s humanistic view of raising children. The author encourages parents to see their children as part of a collective rather than cherishing them simply as individuals. I really appreciate this perspective & tips on how to raise my children this way & beginning was 5 stars. I found later chapters on school & sexuality a bit repetitive & overly simplistic. I did lots of skimming/skipping. Maybe the later parts will mean more to me when my kids are older.

[Ala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kasl's approach is refreshing, offering practical advice and mindfulness exercises that resonate with the challenges of modern parenting. Her emphasis on mindfulness, compassion, and the importance of nurturing both parent and child is both reassuring and empowering.

This book is a valuable resource for those looking to create a more harmonious and mindful family environment while navigating the complexities of raising children in today's world.

"If the Buddha Had Kids" is highly recommended for parents seeking a holistic and spiritually enriching approach to parenting.

[Baylor Heath · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kasl’s 3rd installment in the If The Buddha series is another odd but endearing hodge podge of psychology (she’s a therapist), Buddhism, and a little bit of some other influences like Sufism and Quakerism. At some point I felt like I was trudging through this. It’s perhaps a little too broad for it’s own good. Talking about raising kids can easily turn into a treatise on anything and everything.

[Megan Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many of the same concepts you’ll hear in other parenting books, but from the peace seeking perspective, which I think helps fuel the why framework. It’s nice to think about moving away from the Heaven/hell and sin avoidance to motivate behavior.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything from this writer, she uses great examples to help you understand the concept.

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was hoping for more Buddhist teaching and less psychology.

[Shawn Persinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 stars. In my opinion, anyone inclined to read such a title will find the author preaching to the choir. No insights, simple reminders – be kind.

[Becca Crane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book quite a bit. The author was vulnerable about her own experiences as a mother as well as her childhood experiences.

She had the book portioned out into different topics, so you could read it in any order and easily reference.

Overall, relatable and helpful.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot of parenting books, and this is in line with a lot of the books that I have liked. Emphasizing listening and empathy and encouraging your children to express their feelings, emotions and opinions. Based on the title I was a little worried that this book would be too idealistic and impractical, but the author did a good job of using real-world examples and situations and emphasizing that children need structure and boundaries as well as the freedom to be individuals and make choices that we might not agree with. While this isn't a book I would say everyone should read, it is definitely worthwhile if you do.

[Indiana Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best "parenting" books I've ever encountered. I don't usually go for any packaged ideas about what parenting should look like from any individual or socially biased perspective - this is anything but - a philosophical approach to parenting steeped in scientific theory and the unparalleled compassionate guidance of The Buddha. I've read it three times now in my son's three years and each time I've received guidance and encouragement to trust myself and the courage to allow my son to grow into exactly the little man he is supposed to be. Very few books empower one to empower others - this is one of them.

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It is not just a 'parenting' guide or how to, it's also a book to help you in your own journey. It is also easily implemented - you can be more peaceful immediately.

The extensive reading list at the end had me adding many many more books to the TBR shelf!

[Suphatra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Better read for parents of older children (5-18) than of a toddler (mine is 2.5 years old). I'll pick this back up again in the future.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. I am definitely going to read it again and again.

[Toni Olivieri-barton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to it and I thin that is why I didn't like it.

[Mckinley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this and it was a good companion to similar books

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read for those looking to bring their parenting to the next level.

[Meowmeow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned some useful parenting tips from this book. Highly recommended.