Why You Act the Way You Do

by Tim LaHaye

Readers discover how temperament affects their work, emotions, spiritual life, and relationships and learn how to make improvements.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Christian, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Relationships

336 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1987

About the author

Timothy "Tim" F. LaHaye was an American evangelical Christian minister, author, and speaker, best known for the Left Behind series of apocalyptic fiction, which he co-wrote with Jerry B. Jenkins.

He has written over 50 books, both fiction and non-fiction.

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was quite interesting. It helps you to see what makes other people tick and how differently they process the same information. Filters can be radically not aligned. People are multidimensional. More people should read this book to better understand the differences in others and their perspectives. God looks at the heart and understanding others and their hearts might help some not judge so radically when conflicts arise. Great Scriptural references to soften even the toughest souls. We are all on a journey and not perfected yet...Temperaments are highlighted in detail;the good and the not so great qualities that all of us possess. I highly recommend this book.

[Jean Wilund · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I stated in my review of "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Smalley, understanding the temperaments and the love languages are two of the best things you can do for your relationships.

I married my exact opposite in temperaments so this book opened our eyes to why in the world we act the way we do. I'm no longer offended by things he was doing and the way he was reacting to certain things because now I know that everyone with his temperament does...he's not weird after all! And now he understands why I do the crazy things I do.

We read this book a couple of years after we married and 25 years later, it still has a positive impact on our marriage.

[Billy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the very few serious attempts I've seen of Christian leaders addressing the issues of the ancient theory of the temperaments. I find his take on using the weaknesses of each temperament as a way of identifying how the Spirit needs to work in our lives very interesting. His applications are not nearly as practical as the Myers-Briggs materials I've seen for vocational pursuits, but this is the best I've seen at trying to integrate this theory within the wider Christian worldview of sin and salvation and the work of the Holy Spirit in the believers life and ministry in the local church.

[Budale damilola]

hmm! it was mind blowing.

[Ola · Rating 3 out of 5]

am glad i did read the book, it enable me know more about myself and the author gave ways on how to improve oneself and that of the society. i enjoyed it all through and i think it pretty amazing

[Ietrio · Rating 1 out of 5]

The bible and unnamed scientists, who must be scientists or why Lahaye would call them such, all concur to the same conclusion: Tim is a great person!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took a while, but I finally finished it!😅 I found this book really helpful and insightful as to why I act the way I do. Come to find out, I’m a MelPhleg, and which explains a lot. Anyways, Dr. LaHaye was very scriptural and informative about each temperament and their strengths and weaknesses and how the Holy Spirit can help and empower Christians to live their fullest through faith and obedience to God. I recommend this if you wonder why you act the way you do!
Happy Reading!

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has helped me to understand myself as well as those people around me that I do life with. This book has also helped me to see how I relate to others around me.

[Samuel Adeosun · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first book I read on the four temperaments. It was eye-opening!

[Chris Tennant · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some interesting aspects to this, of how different character types have their strengths and weakness' However the main motive here seems to be religion. Apparently most of the flaws in any of the personality types can be overcome be embracing the holy spirit. This is brought up time and time again and every behavior is bought back to a religion. Gave up after a while as I felt I was been preached at rather than learning anything.

[Ekeoma · Rating 5 out of 5]

It talks about temperaments. the diff types of temperaments, how to manage and strengthen ur temp weaknesses. how to choose a vocational career, life partner based on ur temp types and so many other life enhancing topics. it has many Bible references as it discusses the diff type of temps. Therefore it is a book that i can recommend to anybody

[TheRose · Rating 2 out of 5]

The temperment theory is very interesting, but I found the book to be a trifle boring. I ended up skimming through it rather than reading it. Perhaps in the future I will revisit the temperments through the eyes of another author.

BTW - I identified myself as a SanMel (Sanguine with a little Melancholic). :)

[Gina Herald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insight into self and others is quite helpful in a world where so much of what we say can be misunderstood. Or maybe that's "how we said it". I love to understand where others are coming from. Helps me relate to them better.

[Emiliano · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book as a youngster many years ago, and it was one of the books that really enlightened me and gave me insight about the reasons why people act the way they do...
It basically kick-started my interest in human behaviour and thought patterns.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book along with the "Spirit Controlled Temperament" helped me to change my life.

[τ ◔ ɓ Ξ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really revealed to me the categories of behaviors people exhibit and a better understanding why should be more tolerant and less critical of people including the author of this book!

[Gracious]

How can I start reading in this app

[Muhammed Usman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is great book to read

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

My family hates when I read this book. I can get a little obsessed with it.

[Daniella Oyigbenu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why You Act the Way You Do... Is a must-read for everyone because it tells clearly how to survive. When I mean 'survive', I mean how to live with people. People are all you've got, they are everything. Can you imagine a world without people?(no fun) but the truth is not understanding those people can make life unbearable.
Why You Act The Way You Do, firstly helps you discover yourself (your strength and weakness) and then it helps you understand the people around you (it could be your family, your colleagues, your team members etc).
People can't behave the same way or else we would have robots instead of humans. We are humans because we have strength and weakness and not some programmed device. One person's strength is needed to help another person's weakness. As a matter of fact knowing your weakness alone is strength.
Basically, the book talked about the four different temperaments which includes: Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholy and Phlegmatic.
The choleric also known as the 'Rocky Choleric' is best known to be hot, quick, active, practical, strong willed, self sufficient, self discipline and very independent. He is a decisive and opinionated person, extroverted by nature and he does not need to be stimulated by his environment rather he stimulates his environment with his endless ideas, plans, goals and ambition. Amongst his weakness include that he is extremely hostile, has anger problem(hot tempered), unaffectionate of all etc
Sanguine also known as sparky sanguine is a super-extroverted personality who is warm, buoyant, lively and receptive by nature. He never lacks friends and he has the ability to genuinely feel the joy or sorrow of another person. He forgets the past and live in the present and he has a tender and compassionate heart amongst many others. He weaknesses are he is a talkative, undisciplined, weak willed, lacks self discipline,egolistic and proud. He loves fame and always wants to be the center of attraction etc.
Melancholy also known as 'Martin Melancholy' is the richest of all temperaments. He is analytical, self sacrificing, gifted. He is very artistic and loves fine art. He is introverted and the most dependable temperament, very creative, faithful friend and so on. Amongst his weakness includes that he is self centered and very rigid; because of his perfectionist nature he always see the negative aspect of people and is impossible to satisfy.
Phlegmatic 'Philip Phlegm' is a super introverted person. He is calm, easygoing, never-gets-upset individual, the most likeable temperament. He can be very consistent, he feels more emotion than he may show, he maintains positive approach to life and he works best under pressure, etc. His weakness includes Slow and sluggish, self-protective, selfish and unconcerned, very stubborn but worries too much, unmotivated etc.
These are only a few thing to discover from the book. Self discover is very essential to discovering ones direction for his/her life

[Favour Ugonna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, so I finally got around to reading "Why You Act the Way You Do," and honestly, it was...interesting. I've heard a lot about Lahaye's temperament theory over the years, and I was curious to see what all the fuss was about.

Basically, the book dives into the four temperaments: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. You know, the whole "are you a party animal or a deep thinker" kind of thing. Lahaye breaks down each temperament, talking about their strengths, weaknesses, and how they interact with each other.

What I appreciated was how relatable it felt. He gave tons of examples, and I found myself nodding along, thinking, "Yep, that's totally me," or "Oh, I know someone just like that." It definitely made me think about my own personality and why I react to things the way I do.

Now, I'm not gonna lie, some parts felt a bit dated. The book was written a while back, and some of the examples and language felt a little old-school. Plus, it's pretty clear Lahaye has a Christian worldview, which colors his perspective. That's fine, but it's something to keep in mind if you're not coming from that background.

I also think the temperament theory, while helpful, isn't the be-all and end-all of understanding human behavior. People are complex, and we're not just one temperament. We're a mix of things, shaped by our experiences and choices.

But, if you're looking for a starting point to understand yourself and others a bit better, "Why You Act the Way You Do" is a decent read. It's easy to digest, and it gives you a framework for thinking about personality. I wouldn't take it as gospel, but it definitely got me thinking about my own interactions and relationships.

Overall, I'd say it's a solid, thought-provoking book. Just remember to take it with a grain of salt and apply your own critical thinking. It's not going to solve all your problems, but it might just give you a few "aha!" moments.

[Anna Shaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read. I skimmed some parts, mostly to read about my own temperament. But I did learn a lot, and appreciated the scripture based approach. But be careful, always check the Bible against what he says. I was caught off guard near the end when he totally took a verse out of context (saying 2 Corinthians 10:5 means the imagination should be thwarted. I have no idea how he got there, seriously). He does like his old fashioned versions! I was also annoyed at times when he really puts things into a strict box. He says he’s not, but really…haha!! Overall though, a solid intro to the 4 main temperaments.

[Kwaku Osafo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had me going “This so me,” a lot😂 - a testament of how well its descriptions of the 4 temperaments and their various blends align with reality. What makes this book special is its analysis of the temperaments in relation to all aspects of life. It adopts a spiritual viewpoint since Tim is a Christian, explaining the weaknesses of each temperament, yet assuring and explaining to the reader how they can be overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit, which leads me to my biggest takeaway from this book- God can use anyone!

[Claudine Tan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found this book when attending a course in church and was intrigued that firstly it was Hippocrates who came up with it. Tim LaHaye has done much research over many years and worked with many in his counselling practice so I think his thoughts and perspectives are sound. In one instance, I literally nodded my head as it described me in a way that nobody would ever hear or see me admit to feeling. More importantly, it's got lessons and is packed full of insights and teachings that make a great reference.

[Andy Mortimore · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a thinking person (I am primarily a melancholy temperament) then you...like me...will find this one of the best books you’ve ever read around understanding yourself and other people. It is an invaluable tool in learning how to improve oneself not for your own gain but in order to be a better servant and person for those your love and in service to the Lord Jesus. I can thoroughly recommend it!!! Enjoy!!

[Leila Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I used to be highly intolerant of other people's weaknesses. I could not stand specific traits and held a lot of anger when I interacted with certain personalities. This book changed all that. Not only did I become more understanding of others, but also more forgiving of myself. Of course, there is much more to a person than the temperaments discussed in this book. But it definitely helps one understand the different influences of nature and nurture on our personalities.

[Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll just say, I'm love's student. Nineteen years and I'm still learning that competency over qualification, especially core competency can be rooted in temperaments. It affects your ideas, your creative road blocks and it's a really great time cracker for that hot day. Crack it open. You'll love it

[Edwin Quist Baeta · Rating 4 out of 5]

A revealing exploration of temperament and how it shapes behaviour at work, in relationships, and in everyday life. LaHaye explains why people respond differently to the same situations, helping you recognise patterns in yourself and others. I’ve used this more as a reference than a one-time read—returning to it to better understand colleagues, family dynamics, and personal blind spots.

[Mehwash Nisar]

This book is quite interesting .during reading this book we adopt better activities and inveloves in this activity which we want to be . By reading this book we know how important to act like what we want to be, and how our actions affect our personality.

[Tanni Awa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seriously I have never a book that gives an insight into human nature and coupled with proven techniques to overcome its weaknesses and capitalise on its strength like "Why you act the way you do by Tim"
Thank you for helping me discover myself and understand me better.