Brown Boys in Chocolate: If the Fighting Doesn't Kill You, The Sex Will

by Paul Southern

The second pulsating Manchester thriller from the author of The Craze .

When Rafi Rafiq and Richard Armitage leave their flat on Thursdays their ambition stretches no further than their giros (welfare cheques) and the betting shop. Bonded from birth, blood cousins through school, failures thereafter, they share draw, food, fags, booze and vaginas, an unholy pentagram of sleaze. Nowhere Rafi leads is out of bounds. Until now. He gets them caught breaking into Manchester’s first all-Asian brothel, Mohamed Butt’s notorious nach ghar, and they’re faced with a simple pay or die. But Richard’s fallen in love — with Butt’s favourite girl, Fari — and decides they have to save her.

And for Rafi it gets worse. The Death Angel is back. “Gorgeous George” Cotterel. On the lookout for starlets to play in his latest video nasty, George knows just the thing that will sell them. And just the way to get Brown boys in chocolate. When Rafi and Richard answer a ringing phone in Manley Park, the combination is far from their minds, but George has it all planned — and they find themselves wrestling, literally, for their lives.

288 pages, Paperback

First published July 4, 2005

About the author

Following an induced labour some time in the 1960s (due date: Halloween night), I had my subscription to a normal life revoked by itinerant parents, who moved from city to city. Lived in Liverpool, Belfast, London and Leeds, then escaped to university, where I nearly died of a brain haemorrhage. After an unexpected recovery, formed an underground indie group (Sexus). Met the lead singer through standing on a bee. Made immediate plans to become rich and famous, but ended up in Manchester. Shared a house with mice, cockroaches, and slugs; shared the street with criminals. Five years later, hit the big time with a Warners record deal. Concerts at Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Melody Maker front cover, Smash Hits Single of the Week, Radio 1 and EastEnders. Mixed with the really rich and famous. Then mixed with lawyers. Ended up back in Manchester, broke. Got a PhD in English (I am the world's leading authority on Tennyson's stage plays), then wrote my first novel, The Craze, based on my experiences of the Muslim community. Immediately nominated to the Arena X Club (the name Arena magazine gave to a select group of creative, UK-based men responsible for shaping the way their readers lived and enjoyed their lives). Wrote a second novel, Brown Boys in Chocolate, which predicted the London bombings. Fell foul of the censors and subsequently gagged by the press. Got ITV interested in a story on honour killings and inter-racial marriages and was commissioned to write a screenplay (Pariah) based on my life story. ITV balked at the content. Subsequently, trod the Wasteland before finding the grail again: a book deal with children's publisher, Chicken House. Killing Sound, a YA horror set on the London Underground, was published by them in 2014. The book, originally written for older teens (16+) and adults, was edited by the publishers to fit a much younger demographic, and inevitably failed to reach either market; the grail proved elusive and I returned to writing something it was impossible to dilute. Daddy Dearest, a dark, psychological thriller, was released in 2016. A new novel, Pendle Fire, will be published by Bloodhound Books in Spring, 2018.

Reviews

[Fangface666 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Highly recommend for a beach read, fast and hard.