Blott on the Landscape

by Tom Sharpe

The landscape is flawless, the trees majestic, the flora and the fauna are right and proper. All is picturesquely typical of rural England at its best. Sir Giles, an MP of few principles and curious tastes, plots to destroy all this by building a motorway smack through it, to line his own pocket and at the same time to dispose of his wife, the capacious Lady Maude. But Lady Maude enlists a surprising ally in her enigmatic gardener Blott, a naturalised Englishman in whom adopted patriotism burns bright. Lady Maude's dynamism and Blott's concealed talents enable them to meet pressure with mimicry, loaded tribunals with publicity and chilli powder, and requisition orders with wickedly spiked beer. This explosively comic novel will gladden the heart of everyone who has ever confronted a bureaucrat, and spells out in riotous detail how the forces of virtue play an exceedingly dirty game when the issue is close to home.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Comedy, Satire, British Literature, Audiobook, Modern

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1975

About the author

Tom Sharpe was an English satirical author, born in London and educated at Lancing College and at Pembroke College, Cambridge. After National Service with the Royal Marines he moved to South Africa in 1951, doing social work and teaching in Natal, until deported in 1961.

His work in South Africa inspired the novels Riotous Assembly and Indecent Exposure. From 1963 until 1972 he was a History lecturer at the Cambridge College of Arts and Technology, which inspired his "Wilt" series Wilt, The Wilt Alternative, Wilt on High and Wilt in Nowhere.

His novels feature bitter and outrageous satire of the apartheid regime (Riotous Assembly and its sequel Indecent Exposure), dumbed- or watered-down education (the Wilt series), English class snobbery (Ancestral Vices, Porterhouse Blue, Grantchester Grind), the literary world (The Great Pursuit), political extremists of all stripes, political correctness, bureaucracy and stupidity in general. Characters may indulge in bizarre sexual practices, and coarser characters use very graphic and/or profane language in dialogue. Sharpe often parodies the language and style of specific authors commonly associated with the social group held up for ridicule. Sharpe's bestselling books have been translated into many languages.

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Typically Sharpe; scintillating, absurd, intricately plotted, vulgar, hilarious. The David Suchet narration is sheer joy and adds to the merriment.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

July 2018 reread - still a good book but I was more distracted this time around so I didn't find it quite as funny...

4.5 stars for this audiobook edition. David Suchet was brilliant as the narrator; his different voices for the characters were so varied that at times it was hard to believe that they were all being done by the same person!

I found the humor in this often vulgar and yet never offensive. It was sort of a mish-mash of Benny Hill & P.G. Wodehouse -- the zany plot was very Wodehousian but the sex and the language was more Benny Hill. While that description sounds like something I would not enjoy very much, I often found myself laughing aloud during this.

And since I have been scolded by GoodReads/Amazon for changing book covers (even when they were wrong), I haven't changed this one but my audiobook from Audible has the cover below:

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tom Sharpe to me is a cruel and cutting observer of the amazing absurdities of the British, not only did I have the joy of reading his work but I have also heard him speak many years ago when for some strange reason he visited our local library. Sadly now he has passed but some of the stories he could recount that he not only witnessed but in some cases actually were involved with make his stories seem mundane and sedentary.
But as for this book - well this was how I was introduced to Tom Sharpe - this book was actually televised and I thought not only was it hilarious but the acting was brilliant (look it up some time) but it made me go out and buy the book immediately and I realised at the tender age I was that I was missing something amazing.
The book really takes the British farce and turns it in to a grand drama - who else could turn their stately home in to a wildlife park in an attempt to disrupt and stop a motor way being built. Well you can imagine the trouble that not only this one small stunt causes but all the others that were thought up to. To me this was Tom Sharpe at his best or at least so I thought till I started reading his other works.

[Leo . · Rating 4 out of 5]

Classic! David Suchet played Blott in the TV film. LOL! 👍🐯

[Eleanor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very clever and totally absurd. Sharpe has some shrewd and funny observations in among the nonsense. In describing one of the principal characters, a government bureaucrat called Dundridge:

"In practical terms Dundridge was clearly a disaster. On the other hand he did have a flair for public relations. His schemes sounded good and year by year Dundridge had been promoted, carried upward by an ineluctable wave of inefficiency and the need to save the public the practical consequences of his latest idea until he had reached that rarefied zone of administration where, thanks to the inertia of his subordinates, his projects could never be implemented."

Then there was this description of a not so stately home:

"Ahead lay Handyman Hall. It stood, an amalgam in stone and brick, timber and tile and turret, a monument to all that was most eclectic and least attractive in English architecture. To Dundridge, himself a devotee of function, for whom simplicity was all, it was a nightmare. Ruskin and Morris, Gilbert Scott, Vanbrugh, Inigo Jones and Wren to name but a few had all lent their influence to a building that combined the utility of a water-tower with the homeliness of Wormwood Scrubs."

Very good fun. 3.5 stars.

[Lobstergirl · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book appeared so goofy and innocent at first glance. I thought it was going to be all tweeness and quirk. But very quickly, along with the extreme goofiness, it dilated into (actual) sadomasochism, lots of fuckety-swearing, and murder.

Blott is the gardener to a wealthy, miserably-married English couple. A former Wehrmacht soldier who stayed in Britain after the war, he first appears simple-minded but turns out to be the shrewdest character. When Maud, the landowning wife, erects a fence around the estate "Blott was delighted by the fence. It brought back memories of the war and his happiness as a prisoner." He outwits everyone who challenges him and ends up married to Maud and elected to Parliament.

The word pinetum appeared on nearly every other page. I had never heard or seen this word before and was mentally pronouncing it PYNE-toom. No, it rhymes with arboretum: py-NEE-tum and means an arboretum of pine trees.

[Pam Baddeley · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is a farce based on the 1970s class system and politics. Lady Maud of Handyman Hall, after six years of marriage, has not succeeded in getting an heir because her unpleasant husband Sir Giles, local MP, will not consummate the marriage due to his masochistic proclivities which caused an issue on the wedding night. He prefers instead to have those needs met by an absentminded woman who lives in London. Maud needs to divorce him because she is now forty and running out of time to have a child, but under the terms of their settlement will lose her house and lands unless she can show he has given cause, such as adultery. She needs therefore to obtain evidence of what she suspects he is up to and Blott, her devoted gardener, is willing to do everything in his power to secure it.

Meanwhile, Sir Giles wants to divorce Maud who he can't stand, but to retain her lands and house. He comes up with the scheme of getting a motorway planned while pretending to oppose it since his constituents would be up in arms. The route is contested but is most likely to go through the fictional gorge and result in the compulsory purchase and demolition of the Hall. Under the settlement, he would keep all the money.

That is the basic plot for what becomes a more and more outrageous farce. I found it amusing in places, but some of it exceeded my suspension of disbelief and I suppose I don't enjoy stories where innocent people are killed and beautiful old properties destroyed, at least not finding that funny. It's written in what nowadays is a rather old fashioned style - omniscient narrator, loads of info dumping to flesh out each character's background rather than being shown it in scenes, and lots of adjectives/adverbs. For me it is an OK read so I rate it 3 stars, an extra star for the invention.

[Peggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're a fan of British humour, and by British humour I mean truly horrifying things happening to people so vile that it's funny rather than off-putting, you have to read Tom Sharpe.

His first 2 books (Indecent Exposure and Riotous Assembly) are satires on the apartheid-era South African police force so biting they got Sharpe tossed out of the country.

Since then, he's turned his satiric gaze on the Brits, and the results are often laugh-out-loud funny.

Blott is an Italian gardener (who's not really Italian) who works for Lady Maud Lynchwood, whose family has lived in Handyman House for 500 years. Lady Maud, who has a...strong personality, opposes a motorway that would cuth through her property and require the destruction of Handyman House. Her husband, Sir Giles Lynchwood, secretly welcomes the motorway, as he stands to make some shady money on it, plus he hates Lady Maud and Handyman House. Throw in a forgetful mistress, acts of eco-terrorism, and an estate full of live lions and trouble is just bound to ensue.

[Juan Carlos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hoy todo es políticamente incorrecto, lo que dices, lo que no dices, lo que piensas y hasta lo que no piensas. Siempre hay alguien ofendido, aludido, discriminado, segregado...
Imposible que la obra de Sharpe pueda ser escrita en la actualidad.

Este libro es entretenido pero no el mejor de Sharpe. Me sigo quedando con Vicios ancestrales como su mejor y más divertido libro.

[Redfox5 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another funny book from Tom Sharpe. Wish I had discovered him sooner!

Lady Maud's horrible husband, tries to get a motorway installed through their property in order to swindle his wife and get out of the marriage with some money. But nothing goes to plan and Lady Maud is ready for a fight.

Well worth a read.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tom Sharpe es uno de los escritores favoritos de mi madre y lleva años intentando que lea algo suyo. Al principio estaba un poco escéptica porque la premisa no me atraía demasiado, pero tengo que decir que me lo he pasado pipa.

[1]

bueno bailo, me muevo un poco,

[Realini Ionescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blott on the Landscape by Tom Sharpe
10 out of 10


The exquisite, hilarious, enchanting novel is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read list and when we finish- in fact, while we read it - we can see why this absolute marvel is there, in the comedy section.

It reminded me of Titmuss Regained by John Mortimer, for Sir Giles Lynchwood has similarities with Leslie Titmuss and furthermore, the plot of Blott shares common traits with the equally delightful work of John Mortimer, in both books a major public project upsets the main character and then schemes are concocted, bribes envisaged, strings are pulled and influence is trafficked.
Whereas in Titmuss Regained expensive houses would spoil the view of the protagonist, in Blott on the Landscape, the politician who is an MP representing fictional Cleene Gorge in an imagined English county would like the project of a motorway to arrive in his neighborhood, indeed, to traverse Handyman Hall where he resides, for he would get a substantial, exaggerated compensation for the mansion and that would solve his problems.

Sir Giles has married Lady Maud for her money and position and he is now in search of a way to divorce her, without losing his right to the opulent residence, which a legal document stipulates that it would return to the wife, in the event that the husband is the guilty party or initiates proceedings for a divorce, without proper cause and hence the motorway and the consequent hundreds of thousands of pounds paid for Handyman Hall to be demolished seems to be the only option.
However, it must be a duplicitous game, officially the politician is against the plan - which was his idea in reality - and the matter would be settled by a commission and then a troubleshooter is sent by the ministry for the environment, Dundridge, when the intial findings caused an uproar, scandal and violence involving the Machiavellian Lady Maud.

Sir Giles has some peculiar sexual tastes, he has asked his wife to tie him to the bed and then use a whip,but when she used her remarkable force, their intimacy was terminated and she is still a virgin for most of the book, while the masochistic husband finds a lover in London, who uses more moderate violence, with the caveat that she is amnesiac and tends to forget the man in the bed, immobilized for hours, sometimes for the whole night.
Blott is the former German prisoner of war, thought to be Italian, who has been working as a gardener for the Handyman family since the end of World War II, who falls in love with the ample mistress of the mansion and would play a vital role in her fight against the authorities, trying to block the motorway at all costs.

Knowing that the vicious man of the house has secret, nefarious interests, lady Maud asks her gardener to spy on the philandering spouse, who had refused her demand that he performs his marital duties to give her the chance to have a baby, one that would become the master of Handyman Hall, where her ancestors have been landlords for the last five hundred years.
There is even a rumor that royal blood is flowing through the veins of the majestic, imposing, large lady of the manor and some speculate on the resemblance with a former king and her impetuosity, towering, despotic manner.

Seeing that she is neglected by the husband who has a mistress in the capital, this remarkable personage invites the envoy of the government, Dundridge, to talk about the motorway and her objections first and then to have supper, when Sir Giles is away and having invited no other guests.
This thin, outre, malignant, rigid, antisocial character is fascinated at first by the impressive woman,in part because he has had no experience, a solitary man, he has a fictional apparition in his dreams, made up of various elements, that does not look anything like the very heavy host.

Blott is very jealous and enraged to see this intimacy, works on the guest's car so that when he drives from the isolated Handyman Hall, he does not get anywhere with one flat tire and the deflated spare one, so a comedy of errors ensues, wherein Dundridge has to return and Lady Maud thinks he accepted her provocative assault and seduction attempts, while the man would see the tires and the rest as a conspiracy to rape and kill him.

When the host kisses, takes the fragile younger man in her strong arms, he feels he would suffocate and runs for his life through the large manor house, wherein the alerted Blott comes with a shotgun, for the shouts and noises he heard are for him alerts originating from the woman he loves, that he thinks is the victim.
The visiting envoy has another catastrophic encounter, being framed by Sir Giles and his accomplice, Hoskins, with the help of a very attractive woman who meets him at a golf party,pours narcotic in his drink, then takes pictures that are used to blackmail the rather repulsive Dundridge.

The reader does not know what is in those photos, and the fact that we are prompted to use our imagination is miraculous, but several personages state that what happens in there would ensue a life sentence for the perverse, sexual maniac, although that was an age when homosexuality, felatio and other now rather tame, anyway legal between consenting adults, acts were illegal...well, they still are in large parts of the world...Brunei has just announced stoning for gay sex and adultery, prompting a call for boycot of hotels owned by the sultan from George Clooney and Elton John.
The conflict between promoters, eventually construction workers for the highway, especially the man placed in charge, Dundridge, on the one hand and the opponents, led by Lady Maud, on the other reaches a paroxysm.

To avoid spoilers, let us just say that people die, medieval, protected houses - although imaginary- are destroyed, Blott uses weapons of war, an anti tank rocket launcher and others, and even the army is called in to play a role in this phantasmagoric story, where lions, giraffes and some ostriches are brought in the new wild park created to obstruct the project of the loathed highway.

What a fantastic joy ride!

[Barry Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book 20 years ago and having picked up a job lot of sharpe novels at a Car boot recently, I though it deserved another read. It is, of course, total farce; but I loved it. This time round, having seen the TV series, it's impossible not to hear the brilliant David Suchet read the words of Blott, the naturalised German/Italian/Jewish POW, or Geraldine James as the Rubinesque Lady Maud. But the book is far funnier than the screenplay, with more convoluted plots, more extrovert characters, and more implausible situations. Sharpe's take on what can go wrong when one member of parliament attempts exploit the planning system for his own advantage, is as topical today as it was when he wrote it in the 70's. I just wish we could see a few of today's politicians meet the same kind of sticky end as Sir Giles.

[PurplePrimula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was searching Audible for something interesting. I wanted something light and funny and happened across this author and thought, "hey, why not?"

Why not indeed!

Quite a complicated tale actually. I attempted to tell Husband what it was about and couldn't even think of where to begin.

It's a very funny book and I'll be having a go at others from this author in the future. The only thing that disappoints me is that the blurb here on GoodReads, which I assume is the same as on the book itself, actually spoils the ending...

[Haoyan Do · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not as good as "Porterhouse Blue" or "Wilt" or "Indecent Exposure" which I read years ago. It still has Tom Sharpe's signature farce and humor, but overall the language is not as good as Porterhouse and the plot is not as well developed as Wilt. One thing I really love about Tom Sharpe's books is that usually the unconventionally "beautiful" women triumph in love, sex, life. Well, just about everything. I think it's a refreshing point of view, no matter how vulgar the author manages to depict those triumphs.

[Hannah Polley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't have huge hopes when I picked this book up as it looked a little outdated - just showing why you should never judge a book by its cover!

This book is a really funny story of two people in an unhappy marriage, trying to find a way out of it.

I definitely took against Giles from the first and was on Maud's side throughout. Even when she pretty much let a lion eat him. I loved Blott and his feelings for Maud. And everything that happened with Dundridge.

This was a quick, laugh out loud read.

[Helen Carolan · Rating 5 out of 5]

re-reading an old favourite and it still makes me laugh. Sir Giles Lynchwood is keen to divorce his wife but keep the money he paid for her ancestral home. As a result he decides to back a plan for a new motorway running through the estate. Sadly for him wife Lady Maud has other ideas. With the help of love-lorn Blott the gardener she aims to stop him. The usual mayhem typical to a Sharpe novel ensues!!

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope this book was supposed to be funny, because I found it hilarious. A quirky, ridiculously British battle over what route the new highway would take, and who would get compensated, and the scandalous efforts made by politicians to get their way.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Comic book that mixes satire and farce, as it recounts the tribulations of Lady Maud and her gardener Blott as they attempt to defend her stately home against the construction of a motorway.

I feel I would have enjoyed the humour in this book more when I was younger - I certainly liked the satirical elements (particularly the public enquiry) more than the farce of naked people diving in and out of bedrooms. I also disliked Lady Maud (who I believe we are supposed to be rooting for) and found Blott irritating rather than endearing. But it was all intentionally ridiculous so it didn’t matter in the end.

The audiobook was brilliantly read by David Suchet and I think it was his skill that had me laughing out loud on occasions. Pleasant entertainment.

[Andreu Amoros · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rocambolesca historia de traiciones, nobleza venida a menos y herencias en la inglaterra rural de post-guerra.
Divertida a la par que inverosímil, pero disfrutona por sus personajes caricaturescos y sus giros inesperados. También el desarrollo de los personajes principales resulta atractivo.
Reflejo algo exagerado de lo peor de la sociedad británica: cinismo, medias verdades, doble moral y ansia de poder.

[Darren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent example of its kind (blackly comedic English slapstick farce) with larger-than-life characters (especially Lady Maud!), sex, scheming, violence, politics, lions, skulduggery, demolition, anti-tank-missiles, blackmail etc etc. Just tremendous page-turnery fun :oD

[Loane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good fun. A bit dated with some character sterotyping and sexism, but overall an entertaining read.

[Abi Demina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brilliantly narrated by David Suchet (the reason I bought the audiobook), this reminded me of J K Rowling's The Casual Vacancy with it's focus on English politics, councillors, and small town life.
However, this story is amusing, often ridiculous, and a little bleak, while J K Rowling's is simply bleak with a side of depression. I preferred this story, but its biggest failing for me is the lack of any character I can root for... They all suck.
Actually, that's another way it's similar to The Casual Vacancy now I think about it...

[Alien · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lady Maud will unbedingt Kinder, um die Familienlinie fortzuführen, doch ihr Mann Sir Giles ist impotent. Sie würde sich drum gern scheiden lassen, doch dann würde er den Besitz bekommen.
Sir Giles wäre seine hässliche und nervige Frau auch gern los. Aber er will den Besitz auch nicht verlieren. Seine Idee: er versucht es so hinzukriegen, dass eine Autobahn durchs Tal gebaut wird, dann bekommt er Entschädigungszahlungen.

Vor Jahrzehnten gefiel mir Tom Sharpe so gut, dass ich einige Bücher von ihm gekauft habe. Inzwischen fällt es mir schwer, das nachzuvollziehen.
Heute würde ich sagen: Wenn einem während eines verregneten Strandurlaubs der Lesestoff ausgeht, kann man das schon lesen.
Aber die Art von Humor, der (u.a.) drauf beruht, sich am Unsympathischsein der Protagonisten zu delektieren, ist nicht (mehr) mein Humor.

Abgebrochen

[Emmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect, but this book was hilarious and awful and all things in between! Take a book by PG Wodehouse, but make it rated R and I think you have an idea of what we're getting into. Steamy affairs, horrible misunderstandings, blackmail, some questionable sexual practices, and a whole host of wild beasts makes up just a small sample of the craziness that goes down in this book. There were so many times when I didn't know if I should be laughing (but I totally was anyway) and other moments where I found myself reading and rereading the same passage again and again because I was enjoying myself so much!

I haven't read anything else by Sharpe, but I'll definitely be checking him out. This book was amazing!

[Celia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sharpe gets compared to Wodehouse on the back of my copy of this novel - nothing like as subtle and witty, of course, but I suppose Wodehouse gets hauled out as a comparison for any British writer of satirical comedy. Blott on the Landscape is a decidedly crude, un-subtle but still very funny book about Lady Maude, her gardener Blott and philandering husband (on whom she takes a particularly vicious revenge later in the book). There's also plans for a motorway to be built through Lady Maude's house, and it is on this that the plot rests. Explosions, drunken plots, a little S&M and lions ensue. It's just as crazy as it sounds.

[Huw Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read much of Tom Sharpe when I was in my teens and the verbal and situational humour in his books is breathtaking; it is unjust that some writer's humour glands are so highly developed (cf Pratchett, Donleavy and Adams)that they take away the ability to control oneself in public. Not all of his books are as good but Blott is one of his best. To describe the plot as one in which an immigrant proves himself more English than the English is not a spoiler - there is so much more.

[Richard Beasley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is early warning of what happened later in Sharpe's career. The style is always on a knife edge - when it works (and it so often does in many other of his books) it is some of the finest humorous writing. But when it doesn't it is awful (Ancestral Vices and Vintage Stuff and after). This is on the cusp of awful, but just gets away with it.
Don't get me wrong, Tom Sharpe is one of my favourite writers and many of his books are amongst my favourites of all time.

[Mike Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this.
I've always been a little cautious about "comedy" novels - it seems to me that they are extremely hit and miss (and of course it very much depends on what mood the reader is in as to whether the humour comes across well or not). This kept my interest all the way through and made me chuckle and smirk quite often - which is an achievement, believe me (I'm way too cynical for my own good).

On the strength of this I will read some more Tom Sharpe.