De Hand Van Mijn Moeder

by Nafisa Haji, Jeannet Dekker (Translator)

Tussen een rebelse dochter van een Pakistaans moslim migrantengezin in Amerika en haar traditionele moeder bestaat een gespannen verhouding.

Genres: Fiction, Pakistan, India, Cultural, Literary Fiction, Book Club, Middle East

300 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Nafisa Haji is an American of Indo-Pakistani descent. She was born and mostly raised in Los Angeles—-mostly, because there were years also spent in Chicago, Karachi, Manila, and London. Her family migrated from Bombay to Karachi in 1947 during Partition, when the Indian Subcontinent was divided into two states. In the late 1960s, Nafisa's parents came to the United States, shortly before she was born, in order for her father to study engineering at Stanford. When she was six years old, they stuck with their original plan of "going back home" and moved to Karachi. In less than a year, they knew that they had become more American than they realized and came back to Los Angeles.

Nafisa studied American history at the University of California at Berkeley, taught elementary school in downtown Los Angeles for seven years in a bilingual Spanish program (she speaks Spanish fluently), and earned a doctorate in education from the University of California at Los Angeles. With an unfinished novel left long behind, she seized upon the birth of her son—-when she decided to stay home full-time—-as an excuse to go back to writing, learning to use nap times and weekends very efficiently. She started writing short stories at first, which then developed into an idea for a novel. She now lives in northern California with her husband and son and is currently working on her second novel. Nafisa maintains close ties in Pakistan, traveling there regularly to visit family.

Photograph courtesy of author website. Photo by Robert Stewart - www.artseed.com

Reviews

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm stuck between 3 and 4 stars for this one. I settled on 4 because I like the roll of the prose. Very readable. Some of the "big reveals" are perhaps a bit too predictable---or maybe it's just that I'm a genius. ;-)

As Saira reaches adolescence, she begins to probe her family history while on a visit to Pakistan. She discovers some juicy secrets her parents had been keeping from her, but as time goes by also gains a new respect for the choices and struggles of various family members.

There's a passel of novels coming out these days with this theme. Child of Indian/Pakistani immigrants caught between two worlds--wants to be part of the American youth culture while respecting family traditions. This book is a good choice if you want a lighter version of the theme.

Nafisa Haji did an especially good job of capturing the endless chatter and gossip among the women in the extended family. In that culture, there is no such thing as "mind your own business." For the numerous aunties, cousins, and grandmas, discussing and arranging your life IS their business. Big Nanima is my favorite character. She is a brazen and intelligent career woman who is a good role model and confidant for Saira.

My only real complaint is that the author skips over huge chunks of time. Just when things are getting interesting, there comes an abrupt leap forward with a one sentence brush off of what happened in between. Another 50 pages or so of depth scattered throughout the book would be welcomed by most readers.

[Tahira · Rating 2 out of 5]

For the majority of the past year, I've been searching for novels written by Pakistanis, about Pakistanis. As someone who both identifies as a writer and South Asian, I figure that any future personal projects would be strongly influenced by my background. I was curious to see how other writers, those who identify similarly to me, would navigate this kind of task especially with consideration to the audience. I fear that Nafisa Haji hasn't really given readers a well-crafted story here and so I have been disappointed. While I believe that Haji had a strong story lurking somewhere within the pages of The Writing on My Forehead, it appears that she could not reign it in. It's not that I don't believe that a novel can have interchanging themes, but I don't believe Haji connected the themes of her story convincingly or fluidly. I would think that most readers appreciate a story that is circular in some way, or at least one where the ends meet. And though life rarely works out that tidily, I find that it is the job of the author to guide us in such a way that the story appears to find an inclusive, comprehensive end. The Writing on My Forehead presents readers with a lot of questions without ever really coming up with resolutions or conclusive purposes for these questions. It for this reason that I felt uncertain about most aspects of this novel. Most especially, I wanted there to be some beautiful and profound revelations or observations, but most of these moments fell short. Additionally, as someone familiar with the Urdu vocabulary, Haji's italicized words and explanations of Pakistani tradition felt clunky and they disrupted the text. While I understand that these explanations are necessary, I feel that they would have been better situated if they were integrated into the context.
All in all, I really wanted this novel to be a lovely one, but it simply wasn't. And I'd certainly be willing to read Nafisa Haji's next publication, but The Writing on My Forehead was poorly organized and I think it is for this reason that it did not resonate with me.

[Jasminka · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful novel, so moving, tragic, emotional, captivating, full of wisdom...
This is a story of mother-daughters and sisters relationships, a story about family ties and family secrets and loyalties, a story about the past and the future, about personal journey of young Muslim-American curious, questioning girl with strong Pakistani-Indian heritage who grows into an independent woman, struggling between tradition and modernity.
The message of this so enchanting book is that your family and your culture always remain an important part of your life and of who you are. Maybe it is a 4 star book( the ending was so quick and it seemed so rushed) but I enjoyed so much and I was able to learn more about an unfamiliar culture that I gave 5 stars instead!

[Book Ninja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every family has secrets. Some they keep because they don't want to face the truth by repeating it to their next generation. Some things become secrets because your elders don't consider them to be important enough for you to know. And some are kept because they don't want the people involved to be hurt.

This book is about family and relationships within families, how history can repeat itself, how your one decision can affect others and the future generations, about past regrets and future worries. This book is a story about Saira and her family. She has grown up in US but she has family in Pakistan and UK too. One summer visit to Pakistan and London changes her and her perspective towards her parents and her life. The background of this story has a few major historical events, the fight of freedom from the Britishers, the partition of the subcontinent, the immigration of young people to the West looking for opportunities and last and the most important one is 9/11.

Nafisa Haji's writing is beautiful. The way she described Pakistan and the entire wedding culture was so perfect, that I felt I was celebrating all the events and eating all the delicacies with them. I have never been affected by books about the above mentioned historical events but this one was different. It actually made me feel exactly what Saira was feeling.

This book was so close to home. After a long time I read a book like this. Enjoyed every moment, every page, every sentence of this book.

[Tonkica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jedna dobra prica o familiji koja kao i svaka ima svojih tajni, zamjeranja, ljubavi, postovanja, prihvacanja..

[okyrhoe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am filing this novel with a host of other readable, but ultimately forgettable, "light fiction by women writers covering the EastmeetsWest theme" - Chitra Divakaruni, Preethi Nair, Roopa Farooki, Nikita Lalwani* (all reviewed here on my bookshelf).

Although momentous historical events (Partition, 9/11) & complex cultural/religious issues feature in The Writing on My Forehead, the treatment is too "light" to bear any substantial commentary on these complex socio-political issues. The book has the feel of a cut-and-paste formula, with the characters displaying, more so than not, by now familiar (at least to me) characters & storylines that I have already encountered in the works of the women writers listed above.

One exception is the theme of storytelling, especially of narrative elision, that figures prominently in The Writing on My Forehead. Saira's life story is inextricably dependent on the fact that she grows up unaware of the complete story of both her mother's and her father's families. Her resolve to do what she wants in life, contrary to tradition and expectation, is fueled by the revelation that both her parents conceal crucialed details of their respective family histories.

Ironically, I feel that narrative omission is what weakens the novel. Eventually we learn that Saira herself is guilty of the same deed - she conceals crucial facts about herself from her family, too. It's not that elision I'm referring to.

The period of Saira's life as a journalist is markedly absent from the plot. It's just a background detail merely referenced to, and yet it's supposed to figure prominently in her motivations and her decisions. The story focuses on the whys and wherefores of her return to her family & cultural/social/religious roots, following those educational & edifying experiences. The narrated timeline skips that part of her life altogether. She comes back to her roots when she realizes that's what matters to her most, after traveling round the world. But we are told only of her rebellion and then her return, we don't have the opportunity to know what/why/how transpired in the meantime, what life experiences (besides the romance) she ratcheted up. And this for me is what accounts for the lack of multidimensionality in Saira's character. In the end, Saira's concluding revelations are a bit too sensational & formulaic for my taste, even though they were unforeseeable.

* I recommend - Kamila Shamsie, Jhumpa Lahiri, Bharati Mukherjee.

[Mehvish · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting take on Indo-Pak cultures,families and values.
Lost in the midst of tradition and values, Saira an American by passport but brought up with values and beliefs from back home is in search of her roots. Her search takes her through various stories of her family members during and after the split.
In my opinion I felt this book showed how people in the Indo-Pak region mix and give greater value to tradition rather religion. On the whole it was a good book but my only complaint for this book is that the author fails to indicate which time/ tense she's talking about as she skips between time periods. Also, sometimes it gets confusing on who's talking/ narrating the story.
Even though I liked the book , there were many aspects of the book which contradicted with my beliefs of certain ideas which were mentioned in the book.
The best part of the book were the twists toward the end.
This story reminded me of my own family and how me being a third culture kid has affected my idea of what my traditions are.

[Fadillah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“That, my friends, is the difference between journalism and fiction. Power. The power that transforms a relatively obscure—no matter how highly acclaimed—literary figure into worldwide headlines. The contents of Salman Rushdie’s novels—his stories—will never, never have the impact that the story about Salman Rushdie had. There is a lot of posturing about this—about Rushdie’s right to expression from one side, about the blasphemous nature of his work from another—but what he expressed was read neither by the vast majority of those who claimed his work to be insupportably offensive nor by those whom they, in turn, offended. They—those rioting hordes, those mullahs and fatwa-issuing ayatollahs—relied on the news. The same goes in the so-called Western world—so-called, because this kind of delineation, it seems to me, is a dangerous affectation that has nothing to do with the fact that “we live in one world, all of us, with equal responsibility to care for it and equal opportunity to exploit and defile it. In the so-called Western world, few cared about Rushdie’s novel per se. It was its effect that was the story, not its content. If that effect had not been reported on here, Salman Rushdie’s book would have remained tucked away, however highly appreciated, in the literary niche where brilliant writing remains buried. Am I right? Can we agree on this? That there is more power in journalism than in fiction?” Majid Khan paused for a long moment.”
- The Writing on My Forehead by Nafisa Haji
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This is the perfect embodiment of third culture individuals (TCI) story. We followed the journey of Saira growing up in typical Pakistani & Indian Culture but no longer wanted to be tied in with the values that her parents and grandparents grew up with. Saira was torn between chasing her freedom with whatever her parents felt would bring shame to the family and incompatible with the values that they have taught her. I am not going to lie that I was more invested with the story of Saira’s grandparents whom she called (Big Nanima, Nanima and Nana) in the first part of the story. The dynamics that they shared knowing that the fate of being abandoned by her husband could have gone to Big Nanima instead of Nanima or the possibility that Nana might have been happy with Big Nanima if he was married to her somehow intrigued me. BUT the book was not about them. They were one of the secrets that has been concealed from outsiders despite many knew about the affairs that Saira’s grandfather left her grandma to be with some white woman in England. That alone strengthen Saira’s resolve and determination that she refused to be married off at the young age and wanted to pursue her studies / take her time as much as she can to figure out her future. Then, Saira met her cousins from her father’s side, Mehnaz and Mohsin. They were raised differently (almost too Americans) and it did come as a surprise to her. They eventually bonded once Mohsin revealed that their paternal grandfather was a freedom fighter (which is another secret) and towards the end of life, he was hugely disappointed with the choices that both his sons opted (Mohsin’s father and Saira’s father). One chooses to capitalize wealth by siding with the riches and the other choose to serve western countries instead of returning to motherland and working with its people. Over the period of teenagerhood and adulthood, Saira and Mohsin grew more closer, and it did put a huge distance for her, and her family given that Mohsin has been disowned after revealing that he’s gay. Saira pursued journalism as a career option and often collaborated with Mohsin to publish newsworthy material. The second half of the book was good but not as good as the first half, at least in my opinion. I felt that many gaps were left unexplored. I don’t know whether its intentional or the author felt readers are capable in filling in themselves. I don’t dwell much on the dynamic that Saira has with her sister because I believe it was almost universal experience of being a girl to be compared to our sister or female cousin. Of course, the favorable one is always the pretty one or the demure one. It was never the bold one, the brainy one or the courageous one. We were often pitted against each other by our mother, aunties, grandmothers, and extended relatives. It was like a rite of passage especially if you are growing up in Asian family. I knew exactly how Big Nanima, and Saira’s felt of being overlooked and ignored. Overall, this is an impressive novel for a debut. The author served a multi layered family stories that emphasized cultural and historical ties to their identity and how one’s choice may alter one’s destiny throughout their whole life. This would be 5 stars if the ending was not rushed.
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[Kara Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

It wasn't until the middle of the story that The Writing On My Forehead nearly broke my heart. And the scene that did it wasn't anything remarkable: it was when Saira decides to lie to her mother about playing Rizzo in her school's production of Grease. Prior to that, although I was enjoying the book, nothing had really moved me very emotionally. But then it hit me, the line that Saira was crossing, and I was touched.

Nafisa Haji creates a very personal microcosm around her narrator, but this does not prevent her from weaving a story of many layers. We get more than a glimpse at the intricacies of life in Saira's extended Indo-Pakistani Muslim family, the social contract that exists among family members and the obligations one has to fulfil as a result. Beyond her family, international events progress at their own pace; though Saira becomes a globetrotting journalist, the narrative is confined to Los Angeles, London, and Karachi and the events important to Saira and her family. The only international event to intrude is September 11, and that's because it indirectly affects Saira's life—and the life of her sister, Ameena.

Although not didactic by nature, Haji's novel is a useful reminder of the heterogeneity of Islam—both Saira and her slightly more conservative mother express concern when Ameena begins to wear a hijab, for instance. I liked that Haji chose not to present Saira's mother and family as villains pressuring Saira to marry out of a misguided sense of morality; they were just concerned parents who genuinely believed that this was the only way Saira would be happy. The characters of The Writing On My Forehead, from rebellious gay Mohsin to erudite Big Nanima, are dynamic and three-dimensional. Even Saira's mother eventually chooses to reconcile with her estranged half-siblings, partly due to Saira's influential journalism. This is not a book of paper-thin characters following strict moral codes; it's a sandstorm of the conflicting and corroborating moral decisions of an extended family.

Indeed, Haji demures from any specific themes of morality, choosing instead to talk about choice and destiny, culminating in perhaps the most poignant line in the entire book: "You won't understand this now, Saira. Later, perhaps. When you are older. When you learn that life is not only about the choices you make. That some of them will be made for you." At its core, The Writing On My Forehead is a chronicle of the push/pull, personal choice versus familial obligation, and a desperate desire to fulfil both.

The book is also about sisterhood: Saira and Ameena, Nanima and Big Nanima, Mummy and her two other sisters. There are parallels in the relationships of each of these categories, but they operate on a less explicit level than the book's other themes. Marriage came between Nanima and Big Nanima, as it almost comes between Saira and Ameena. Each of these sisters chooses a different lifestyle, one that appears to work for them, although the others don't always understand how this can be so. Isn't that always how it is, though?

The only problem with this book, in my opinion, is the narrative style. The majority of the story takes place during a flashback; that's fine, except that by the time we arrive back at the "present," I had begun to forget what the present was. Perhaps that's a compliment to Haji's ability to draw me into the story and the life of her character. Nonetheless, the flashback presents some difficulty. The first part of the book chronicles Saira's time as a child, up until her college years. Then it skips forward five years to a time just prior to the present. Haji does this in order to conceal the revelation that Saira's niece, Sakina, is actually her daughter, the result of an unintentional pregnancy adopted by Saira's infertile sister. I can tell that this twist is supposed to be eye-opening and shocking, particularly because it happens after Saira's sister is shot and her niece, only six years old, has to deal with her "mother's" death. Yet I think I would have preferred experiencing all of this linearly; instead of a five-year gap, I would have liked to know from the beginning that Sakina is Saira's child. There seems to be little reason to conceal this from us, beyond the pure shock value.

The Writing On My Forehead is a profound read, but not as moving as I usually expect from similar books. It made me think about culture, family, and duty. Aside from what's really a technical flaw, this book is quite good, so I won't hesitate to recommend it to those who are interested.

[Marwa Abdallah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished it in less than 5 days! Something that I have been missing for years! It was so readable as another review stated. I liked the characters, the details and her simple and attractive style, with that vivid cultural and historical emphasis. Looking forward to start reading her second novel.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed “The Writing on My Forehead”, the first book by Nafisa Haji. She draws from her own life to setup the scenes of the novel, which takes place in California, Karachi, London, and Mumbai, all of which figure in her own childhood and upbringing. The culture, religion, and issues that her characters face are also ones which she likely faced, and she does a wonderful job of describing them.

This novel is written from the point of view of Saira Qadar, who like Nafisa is a Muslim of Indo-Pakistani descent. The story is told from what is close to present day, looking back on the events which have led her to this point. Saira is the younger of two sisters, not as pretty as her older sister, but she is intelligent and bright. The narration takes us from when she was nine, and covers how she learns about her family’s secrets and the impact of how what she learns affects her life.

The majority of the book is told in relatively long chapters, with all the details of this important period of her life through her visiting family overseas, to her return to find out that her sister is getting married, to her education and beyond. We meet most of her relatives in these pages and her description of the behavior of the Indo-Pakistani family is very well done, and her descriptions are very vivid and realistic that one feels that they are reading a memoir and not a work of fiction.

About three quarters of the way through the book, things change. There is a big hole in the narration, and the reader is left wondering what was left out as the story picks up with Saira returning home after a long absence due to her mother being seriously ill. This part of the book is rather awkward, and the reader wonders if it will ever be filled in, and it will, but it could have been handled better. The story develops more quickly those first two chapters where the hole in Saira’s story occurs.

Things change again, as the chapters become very short and have even a quicker pace. Nafisa Haji brings the story back into context with the events of 9/11, and the trajedy that hits the family as a result of that day. The changes which that bring and how it changes her life and pulls her back into her family are well depicted. And then, at last, the hole is filled in, and the reader can appreciate the depth of the story and the characters.

This is a very good book, though it does suffer a bit from the hole in the narration. I am not sure what she could have done to cover it better and make it less awkward, but regardless it is an issue. The rest of the book though is very well done and wonderfully written. The way she changes pace really pulls the reader in at the very end. I look forward to reading her next novel.

[Laura de Leon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from a Goodreads first reads giveaway. I signed up for several books that looked interesting, and was excited to hear I was selected for this one.

I found this book both entertaining and thought provoking. In one sense, this is the story of Saira and her sister. It is the story of of a girl growing into a woman and of the meeting of cultures. It is also the story of an extended family, and many other sibling pairs within it. More than anything else, it is a story of relationships.

Saira is a child of Indo-Pakistani immigrants to the US. Her sister seems to be quite happy in the role she is cast into by their parents' culture, but that just isn't the person that Saira is meant to be. Even as a young child, Saira always wants to know "why" and always pushes at her prescribed boundaries.

A trip to Pakistan at age 13 introduces Saira to some of her extended family and her family's history. She continues asking "why", and begins to hear the stories of the relationships that helped form who her parents are, and to form their attitudes towards her sister and herself. These come together as she grows older and begins to experience a run of tragedies, ending with one hinted at in the beginning of the book.

I found almost all of the characters interesting, likable (in their own way), and individual. In spite of each character having his/her own personality, each pairing (sibling or romantic) contains an echo from other relationships in the family, through different times and locations.

Going into this book, I didn't know very much about the history of the relationship between India and Pakistan. Although I was glad to know more, I was saddened to think about how much strife is going on in that part of the world, and reflect on the breadth of it. This is a theme touched on briefly in the book.

The writing was very good. There were a few points where it felt clumsy, or where the reader was told things perhaps we should have been left to discover on our own, but these were rare. For the most part, the writing stayed out of my way, which I appreciate in a book.

I'd recommend this book, and will keep my eyes out for others by the author. I give it a high 4 stars, wishing once again for half stars.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Besides being the first book I have ever read by a Pakistani writer and having the subject matter be something so close to my everyday experiences, this book just didn't do it for me.

As much as I wanted to like Saira, the supposedly spunky heroine of the novel, I couldn't get past her almost inauthentic voice. To be fair, the poor choices in regards to perspective and point of view made by the author is mostly to blame for that. The story starts in present tense, with Saira in her sister's house, looking over her niece while she sleeps and recalling, through vivid flashbacks, the details of her life up until that moment. And that is how the majority of the book is presented: in flashback...through the eyes of a grown-up Saira remembering things that adolescent Saira went through.

The writing did not pull this ambitious perspective off. Saira didn't have much of a voice, and even if she had, the book wasn't JUST her experiences anyway. It told the story of her grandmother, grandfathers, grand mother's sister, etc. etc. These stories were ALSO in the form of flashbacks that were told to Saira through long-winded monologues by characters within Saira's own flashbacks. So...flashbacks within flashbacks?

And although these stories were meant to be told in different perspectives by different people, they were usually in the same vein: fables and fairy tales with strong underlying moral messages usually accompanied by an oral essay of the narrator's beliefs. So not only is the real meat of the book being told by an outside perspective--in the most unimaginative way--but it also gets diluted by Saira's own lens of bias. The ending result being a story told about someone I don't really care about.

In the end, I couldn't soldier through it and ended up skipping stuff that just didn't interest me. I skimmed the ending enough to get the general gist of it and felt just as hollow as I did reading the rest of this book. I feel the author gave me no reason to be invested in the story or characters, which is sad because I really wanted to be.

[Rebekka Steg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed "The Writing on My Forehead" by Nafisa Haji. The novel provides an excellent glimpse into an Indian/Pakistani Muslim family's history. It is a novel that keeps unfolding itself, reaching deeper and deeper into the family's past. Not only does this novel manage to provide an insight into the Indian/Pakistani Muslim culture, it also shows beautifully how our past and our family members past shapes us and continue to shape us today. "The Writing on My Forehead" is a break with past traditions - and at the same time a reconcilliation.
Though I would have to agree with other reviewers that the ending seemed a tad rushed, in general, I really enjoyed Nafisa Haji's style of writing.
"The Writing on My Forehead" is an excellent debut novel by Nafisa Haji - a very talented upcoming writer, I greatly recommend it to anyone interested in the Muslim culture of the Indian subcontinent or family dynamics in general.

[Jamila El-Jabry · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Writing on my Forehead by Nafisa Haji—amazing book with a great twist at the end—a story about a Saira Qader, an American teenager of Indo-Pakistani descent, lives a sheltered life in California with her older sister, Ameena, and their overprotective and fiercely traditional parents. Saira’s view of her family changes dramatically when she attends a wedding in Karachi and learns that her mother had lied to her about Saira’s grandfather: he is not dead but living in London with a second family. Her journey in finding love and herself and learning to live. Post 9/11 and what changed and the biggest twist at the end.

[Harvee Lau · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent novel about family ties and a woman's role in a traditional culture. More here... Guest post on her writing by author Nafisa Haji.

[5rovsvet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moram da priznam da je malo falilo da ovu knjigu ostavim posle 30ak pročitanih stranica. Razlog tome je što knjiga počinje u sadašnjem vremenu, a onda dve stranice kasnije glavna junakinja se vraća pričama u svoje detinjstvo i knjiga dalje teče tako što ona prepričava svoj životni put. Tek pred kraj romana priča se vraća u sadašnjost, odakle je i počela. Odaje utisak kao da vam Saira u tom trenutku priča tu priču i tako teče cela knjiga. Prepričava vam svoj život.

Ovo je jedna veoma dirljiva priča o porodici i tradiciji. Mislim da bi se pre svideo lepšem polu jer se uglavnom priča o majkama i ćerkama, ali to ne znači da neki sin ili otac ne treba da je pročita.

Spoj dve kulture, istoka i zapada, već dolazi do izražaja na samom početku, a kroz roman se on nastavlja. O muslimanskoj porodici koja živi u Americi i povremeno odlazi u Pakistan kod svojih rođaka slušamo kroz Sairina sećanja. Ona sve to veoma lepo dočarava i priča je topla. Na momente mi deluje da je priča previše razvučena. Mada to može biti i zbog dugačkih poglavlja (čiji nisam fan). Pred kraj, priča se malo ubrzava, tj. prolazi se kroz godine i dolazi se do tog sadašnjeg vremena.

Pred kraj isto postoji i naznaka o nekoj misteriji o kojoj priča Saira ali se tek na poslednjim stranicama romana zaključuje o čemu se tu radi zapravo. Čini mi se kao da je autor često imao običaj da započne jednu priču, onda se prebaci na neku drugu temu, to traje i onda kad već i zaboravite šta je autor započeo on vas vrati na taj deo. Tako da ko pomnije prati malo će ga to nervirati (kao mene).

Najviše su mi se dopali razgovori između Saire i njene bake. Tu zaista može dosta da se čuje o životu i kako bi trebalo živeti. Knjiga je puna i priče o prihvatanju i odbacivanju tradicije i u kojoj meri bi to trebalo činiti. Govori nam i koliko je tradicija bitna. Takođe, čitajući i o Sairinom poslu malo sam postao motivisan da konačno dam malo jači gas po pitanju realizacije ideje da objavim svoj roman.

Puno je tu stvari koje ovaj roman čine lepim i ovo je zaista dirljiva priča. Ako počnete da ga čitate, nemojte brzo odustajati od njega, treba malo vremena. U ovoj knjizi nema likova koji mi se nisu dopali, ali sam ipak izdvojio Šabanu. Ne krivim je, možda donekle razumem njene razloge za svoje ophođenje prema Sairi, ali opet ne opravdavam. Može biti samo da pripadam toj novijoj generaciji koja slično razmišlja kao Saira.

[Agung Wicaksono · Rating 3 out of 5]

Saira Qader merupakan perempuan keturunan Pakistan yang tinggal di Amerika Serikat. Bersama ayah, ibu, dan kakak perempuannya, mereka menjalani hidup di sana dengan memegang teguh prinsip Islam dan budaya Pakistan. Meskipun begitu, Saira sering tidak sejalan dengan prinsip keluarganya, sehingga ia dianggap "memberontak" dari gaya hidup yang sudah diajarkan orang tuanya. Salah satunya adalah ketika ia mengikuti pementasan drama di sekolahnya dan ia berperan menjadi PSK dan memakai pakaian seksi. Ia sempat berbohong kepada keluarganya supaya ia bisa diizinkan latihan drama setiap hari. Namun, ketika Hari H pertunjukan tiba dan orang tua serta kakaknya menonton, sang ibu pun kecewa kepada Saira karena peran yang dilakukannya. Dari sana, Saira mencoba menjelaskan tentang peran tersebut beserta alasan kenapa ia berbohong.

Selain itu, Saira juga suka mencari tahu tentang latar belakang keluarganya. Dari pihak ibu, ternyata ia memiliki kakek yang meninggalkan keluarganya di Pakistan demi seorang perempuan Inggris yang kelak dijadikan istrinya. Dari kejadian itu, Saira jadi memahami kenapa ibunya sangat tidak suka kepada si kakek. Di pihak ayah, ia mengetahui bahwa kakeknya adalah pejuang asal India yang membela kemerdekaan dari kolonialisme Inggris. Meskipun demikian, dari sikap patriotik yang kakeknya tunjukan, yang menjadi "korban" adalah istri dan anak-anaknya yang sering ia tinggalkan untuk berjuang. Hal itu ia ketahui dari sepupunya yang tinggal di Inggris setelah si sepupu menunjukkan surat-surat yang ditinggalkan sang kakek.

Setelah beranjak dewasa, ternyata Saira berminat menjadi jurnalis untuk mengabarkan peristiwa-peristiwa yang terjadi di dunia. Di samping itu, ia juga menulis buku tentang latar belakang keluarganya yang memiliki kisah uniknya masing-masing.

Lebih lanjut, karena latar waktu di novel ini memakai Tragedi 11 September 2001, maka kita akan mengetahui dampak apa yang terjadi pada waktu itu kepada orang-orang Islam yang menunjukkannya dengan menggunakan atribut, seperti jilbab. Sebab, setelah tragedi itu, mayoritas masyarakat AS merasa terancam dengan kehadiran imigran Timur Tengah atau mereka yang dianggap beragama Islam.

[Faaiza Vakil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.

This book captures the impact of the partition between Indian and Pakistani and the effects it had and continues to have on family’s being broken apart and spread across the world. Haji does not stop there but she beautifully captures the meaning of being a second generation immigrant growing up in the US. Battling the dilemma of welcoming the new while also keeping in mind our past.

I’ve never read a book that explains my feelings or thoughts on immigration and double identity. This books speaks to the meaning of family, tradition and everything that ties us together.

She’s right: the decision is not always ours. And we must simply understand and accept what has happened, and move forward with nothing but compassion.

A must read for everyone.

[Henar · Rating 3 out of 5]

La verdad que al principio se me hizo un poco pesada la forma en la que está escrito el libro. Es muy dramático y todo tiene un tono serio. Aún así me gustó mucho más de lo que esperaba y me pareció muy chula su forma de añadir en el relato de forma fluida muchas reflexiones que te hacián pararte a pensar un rato. En especial, la forma de contraponer el tradicionalismo desi con el individualismo Americano y desgranar las partes buenas y malas de ambos, chef's kiss.
Si pudiera, le hubiera dado un 3.5/5

[Femke Rutgers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this one. Cultural aspects of India and Pakistan are beautifully shown throughout. The characters in the book had to choose: sticking to tradition or going their own way. But the author reminds us that in the end, nobody has control over what happens to them.

[Febe Allyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Een boek vol charme en pure menselijkheid.

[Margarita Bulgakova · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trebala je biti za četvorku, lijepo napisan roman, nije razvučen, dobro povezivanje prošlosti i sadašnjosti, ali onda me kraj razočarao. Po meni nepotreban zaplet jer i bez toga roman ima smisla.

[Alice Cuthbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

That really took a wild turn towards the end there.

[Serena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nafisa Haji's The Writing on my Forehead transports readers into another culture and the struggles that members find themselves in as the world around them evolves, causing clashes between modernity and the past. Told from the point of view of Saira, readers are taken on a very personal journey into the past, uncovering the deep secrets of Saira's grandmother and grandfather as well as her own parents. The dynamic between Saira and her sister is only partially shown, with the point of view of Ameena silent. From fate to choices, each character must follow their path to the end -- no matter what it holds for them.

"I close my eyes and imagine the touch of my mother's hand on my forehead, smoothing away the residue of childhood nightmares. Her finger moves across my forehead, tracing letters and words of prayer that I never understood, never wanted to understand, her mouth whispering in nearly silent accompaniment. Now, waking from the nightmare that has become routine -- bathed in sweat, breathing hard, resigned to the sleeplessness that will follow -- I remember her soothing touch and appreciate it with an intensity that I never felt when she was alive." (Page 1)

Saira grows into an independent woman who is running from her culture and tradition to find herself grasping for it in the darkest moments of her life. As an American with a strong Pakistani-Indian heritage and a mother reminiscent of Mrs. Bennet in Pride & Prejudice, it is no wonder that she rebels against tradition and culture to become a traveling journalist.

"I shudder, now, to think of how my mother, trying hard and failing to be subtle, got the word of my availability -- accompanied, I learned later, by a full-size, glossy headshot -- out on the proverbial 'street' where desi families gathered and speculated, assessed and collated young people into the 'happily ever after' that getting married was supposed to promise." (Page 191)

Haji's prose is eloquent and engages not only the readers' sensibilities and emotions, but their inquisitive nature as family secrets are unraveled. Saira is a complex character who searches for a center, an axis on which she can revolve and become grounded. While she is connected to family, like Mohsin and Big Nanima, throughout her life because they are in effect the outsiders of a culture she rejects, she continues to struggle with her other relations -- her sister, Ameena, her mother and her father -- because they represent to her a culture she finds limiting. The Writing on my Forehead provides a variety of topics for discussion from political imperialism and its consequences to the tension between the modern world and tradition and the modern dilemmas facing adolescents striking out on their own to the loss of family -- making this an excellent book club selection that will inspire debate and introspection.

[Tezar Yulianto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judul: Gadis Pemberontak
Judul Asli: The Writing on My Forehead
Penulis: Nafisa Haji
Penerjemah: Alan Taufiq Hidayat
Penerbit: Literati
Jumlah Halaman: 410
Cetakan: I, Juli 2010
ISBN: 9786028740074

Saira Qader, anak seorang Indo-Pakistani yang tinggal di Amerika Serikat, hidup dengan keketatan aturan agamis yang dibawakan oleh ibunya. Namun sifat keras kepalanya juga rasa dibandingkan dengan Ameena, kakaknya yang lebih taat. Kunjungannya ke pernikahan sepupunya dari pihak keluarga ibunya di Pakistan, dimana ibunya dan sang kakak menolak untuk ikut hadir, ternyata membawa Saira pada jejak memilukan sejarah keluarga besarnya. Tak hanya dari pihak ibu, tetapi juga masa kelam keluarga dari pihak ayahnya, yang ia ketahui dari sepupunya, Mohsin ketika menjalani transit di London sebelum pulang ke Amerika, bersama sepasang saudara sepupunya.

Hidup dengan keterkejutan akan masa lalu keluarga besarnya, ditambah dengan tekad baru hasil 'indoktrinasi' Mohsin yang beridelaisme perjuangan melawan liberalisme, karakter pemberontak Saira semakin membesar. Ketika harus melakukan pentas drama, dimana lakon yang dia perankan berlawanan dengan prinsip religisitas ibunya, semenjak itu perlawanan terhadap ibunya semakin berkobar. Dengan hidup di negara besar, dimana nilai-nilai tradisional masih dipertahankan dalam keluarga, menjadikan Saira semakin hidup dalam kegamangan antara cita-cita, idealisme dan nilai-nilai hidup.

Momen gelap 9/11 dan kejadian sesudahnya semakin membuat kekacauan dalam hidup Saira. Bagaiamanakan dia menghadapinya? Gadis Pemberontak cukup menarik untuk dibaca.

Kisah tentang pergulatan batin dalam menatap hidup biasanya selalu menarik perhatian saya. Gejolak jiwa, apalagi di tengah pertentangan kebudayaan dan nilai, seolah-olah menggelitik pemikiran saya, apa sih yang ada dalam benak penulis ketika merangkai kata-katanya, apakah yang dia tulis merupakan cerita pengalaman hidupnya? Beberapa yang saya suka, seperti Divakaruni, kerap menulis benturan budaya dan nilai, antara barat dan timur, dengan bagus.

Saya bukan bermaksud membandingkan Divakaruni dengan Nafisa Haji. Hanya memang karakteristik tulisannya bisa dibilang mirip. Meski, saya juga menyukai tulisan Nafisa Haji dalam Gadis Pemberontak, maka 4 bintang di goodreads saya sampirkan untuk buku ini.

Yang saya suka dari buku ini adalah meski pandangan yang ditulis tidak sesuai dengan apa yang saya pahami, saya bisa tahu bagaimana pertentangan nilai dari dua kebudayaan yang berbeda dibuat menarik oleh penulis. Sebagai bentuk sastra saya mengapresiasi Gadis Pemberontak. Benturan latar belakang kehidupan seorang gadis, idealisme dari nilai-nilai keluarga, sejarah keturunan yang membentuk keluarga, dorongan sosial dari lingkungan menjadikan sosok Saira Qadeer di sini menjadi 'lengkap'. Tak hanya melihat dari satu sisi saja. Itu yang saya sukai dalam sebuah kisah pergulatan batin. Dan dari novel semacam inilah makna hidup saya semakin lebih kaya.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I found this book by chance at the library and am glad I did, for it was quite an interesting read. Saira was born and raised near Los Angeles to Indo-Pakistani immigrants, leaving her struggling to fit in with her mom, who thinks all good girls just need to get married, and her dad, who's very quiet and lets the mom rule the house. Saira wants some sort of independence from this and to select her own path in life, not just follow the one her mom wants, so she leaves and becomes a journalist. Now, years later, she's back in town with family and starts to reflect on her experiences growing up, traveling to London, Pakistan, and India, where she learns more about her family than she ever expected, and the ways in which this impacts her life.

This book definitely reads more like a family history than a plot-driven book. The story starts off slow, as the reader knows nothing about Saira or her family, but once it went back in time and Saira started to narrate about trips she took to meet relatives across the world, the pace picked up quite a bit and I was hooked. Saira's interactions with her great-aunt are very touching, since she sees a lot of herself in this never-married relative. My other favorite relationship was between Saira and her cousin, Moshin, who form a tight bond early on and deeply impact the other's life. All the relationships in this novel are done particularly well, as they're all realistically developed and believable. I saw the world through Saira's eyes, as she narrated the story, but I could also easily understand other characters' viewpoints.

Throughout the novel, I wasn't sure where the plot was going, but I became so invested in the characters lives that it didn't seem to matter. I loved how Saira changes, attempting to rebel against her mom's expectations, and the ways in which her decisions affect herself and others. The writing was beautiful and propelled everything forward in such a fluid way that I barely noticed how quickly I made my way through the book! It was easy to relate to the characters, and I enjoyed this book's different viewpoint of the world; the story wasn't so much about being Muslim but about the struggle between the Pakistani culture and the American one and how to reconcile expectations between the two.

My only complaint about the book is probably near the end, when the story caught up to the present instead of continuing to narrate the past. At this point, I feel as though a plot was slightly woven into the narrative, but because there hadn't been a strong plot throughout the rest of the book, it didn't flow quite as freely anymore. Still, I really enjoyed this novel and think it had a lot of parts that will stick with me. I'll be checking out other books by this author for sure.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this story, protagonist, Saira Quader is a second generation immigrant of Indo and Pakistani descent, who lives in California with her traditional parents and her older sister Ameena. While trying to honor her Muslim roots, Saira's free spirit and rebelliousness, has her wanting more out of life. Influenced by a great aunt who was a literary scholar, Saira wants to go to college, She chooses a non traditional career as a Muslim-American journalist.

(p.40)..."It had never occurred to me to wonder why we visited Pakistan and never India, where my mother and father were actually from. Now I knew, that Mummy had forsaken her country because of her anger at her father. That breaking ties with him, she had also broken off wit the rest of her family."

(p. 146)...."I came home from that summer in Karachi and London--head swimming with the voices of a reconstructed past, full of self-importance I couldn't wait to share --only to find my family had been arranging the future in my absence Ameena's future at any rate."

The story spans a period of about twenty years and spans three continents. The story is told through flashbacks of Saira's childhood, and by doing so the reader learns about some family secrets and scandals. These secrets are what seems to give Saira the permission she needs to live her life the way she chooses. It is also these secrets which seem to bring her closer to her family.

MY THOUGHTS - This was an impressive multi-layered, debut novel. Its themes are universal: a coming of age story that addresses mother-daughter relationships, a story about family ties, and family secrets, and it is also a story about immigrants and about spirituality too. The writing is simple, yet fresh and vivid, and the story unfolds in an appealing way. What I enjoyed the most about the book was that I was able to learn more about an unfamiliar culture in the process. The novel moves easily between past and present, and the overall message is clear -- no matter where your life takes you, your family and your culture always remain and important part of who you are.

The only issues I had about this book, were the fact that the last quarter of the book seemed a bit too rushed. I also would have preferred a bit more focus on the protagonist herself. Despite this, I still really enjoyed the story, and I was happy I had an opportunity to read and review this book. If you enjoy multi generational stories, and books about other cultures, then you would most likely enjoy this book as well. RECOMMENDED - (4/5 stars)

[Minci (Ayurveda) Ahmetovic]

Mama je imala prilično utješan pogled na svijet - loše stvari se dogadjaju lošim ljudima, ili barem ne baš tako dobrim ljudima koji su donijeli loše odluke. To je davalo svijetu neki logičan poredak, uloge su bile jasno odredjene, a dužnost i obaveza zadani u scenariju. Bila je to potpuno uvjerljiva logika za moju sestru.

Niko je nije htio oženiti kada je odrasla, Njen brat je morao da je izdržava, brinuti se za svoju jadnu, unesrećenu sestru, neudatu, cijeli život. I dan-danas živi sa njim umjesto da ima muža i vlastiti dom.

Zatvorila sam oči i zamislila dodir majčine ruke kako uklanja taloge dječijih noćnih mora. ....sjetila sam njenog umirujućeg dodira i počela ga cijeniti onako kako nikada nisam dok je još bila živa.

Često je govorio da je tajna njegovo uspjeha - da je njegovo bogatstvo samo amanet, posudba koju je Allah dao njemu i njegovoj obitelji, a koje je zapravo pripadala i njegovim bližnjima. Njegova dužnost bila je dijeliti sa onima koje Allah nije pomilovao.

Vidiš ljude kako nesvjesno klize za sudbinom, a ovi koji su shaukeen uvijek sa sobom nose neku novu energiju.

Nije poštovao pravila vlastite kulture i zajednice. Volio je plesati zapadnjački. Muškarci i žene u našoj kulturi se dodiruju samo kada su vjenčani. Kada zaboraviš pravila, gubiš vlastitu kulturu. Zaboraviš šta je pravo a šta je krivo. Zaboraviš kako nismo ovdje da bismo se sebično zabavljali. Sve što činimo utiče na nas i druge ljude koji nas vole i koje mi volimo. Nije u redu zanemariti ljubav i odanost drugih, biti sebičan umjesto obziran prema njima i svemu što im duguješ. Svi mi u životu imamo zadaće i obaveze. Te obaveze na prvom su mjestu prije naših hirova i želja.

Tako sam u biti izbjegavala detalje iz vlastite prošlosti. Ti isti detalji sada su me sustigli. No i dalje sam se opirala.

Kako sam opet dospjela u roditeljski dom, potpuno sama, dok sestrina kći spava u sobi i ja se moram brinuti za nju? Udišem tamu noći i razmišljam o detaljima. Kako ću ih sada razdvojiti od prošlosti koju sam mislila da razumijem i primijeniti u sadašnjosti koju nikako ne razumijem?

Djevojčice se udaju prije nego što postanu žene, kao krave na stočnom sajmu. Prije no što su dovoljno stare da išta znaju o svijetu i svemu što on pruža. Ne znaju da je život puno više od oplodjivanja i radjanja.

Jedna od mojih omiljenih spisateljica bila je Dzejn Ostin upravo zato sto je izuzetno dobro shvatala potrebu da u donosenju vaznih zivotnih odluka ne ucestvuje samo srce vec i razum i pragmaticni duh

Da li list moze da zamjeri cvijetu kada oba pripadaju istoj biljci...

..djetinjasta teorija o stepenima razdvojenosti izmedju ljudi koji su poticali sa Ind potkont teorijom koja se svodila na to da je razdvojenost bila nepostojeca kategorija i da su svi oni u manjoj ili vecoj mjeri povezani..

Uspjeh nekig braka podjednako je zavisio od ekonom cinilaca i intelektualnog razumijevanja medju supruznicima

Djelimicna neizvjesnost koju mi je moje zaposlenje pruzalo ucinila mi je neprijemcivom za ideju zavisnosti i prinudne tolerancije ...

..ni 1 prica vrijedna kazivanja ne treba da govori o krivici ili kajanju...desilo se ono sto je moralo da se desi...ona je imala svoj put a ja svoj...mozda ces shvatiti kasnije...kad budes naucila da se zivot ne svodi samo na nas vlastiti izbor i da su neke odluke unaprijed donesene...

Da svi razmisljaju kao ti nikad ne bi mrdnuli s mjesta...

Nisam nikada razmisljala da se suprotstavim volji roditelja. Sve do tada. Sve dok moja majka nije nagovijestila da je postojala i ta opcija. U pitanju je bio moj zivot i moja buducnost.zeljela sam da dobijem roditeljski blagoslov ali sam prvi puta shvatila ono sto se nikada ne bih usudila sama da izustim a sto je majka izustila umjesto mene..shvatila sam da je ta odluka pripadala iskljucivo meni...
Ne, nije morao već je tako odlučio a izmedju to dvoje postoji ogromna razlika.
Palo mi je na pamet da je tada mogao da napravi drugačiji zbor. I pomislila sam kako bi se to odrazilo na moj život. Ne postoji šta je moglo da bude, postoji samo ono što jeste, i ono što je bilo, i ono što će biti.
U kojem god pravcu da te život ponese, ne poklekni pred iskušenjem da oguglaš na ljudsku patnju jer takva ravnodušnost otvara vrata za stravičan pohod zla.

Možda bi je više zanimala budućnost da si se potrudio da joj objasniš da treba biti ponosna na svoju prošlost.

Još odavno sam se zakleo da neću nikada biti kao on. Zakleo sam se da ću dati sve od sebe da nešto postignem u stvarnom svijetu, da ću se potruditi da što više pružim svojoj porodici.

Ne želim da jedem hranu koju sam oteo iz tudjih ruku.

Znaš rodjako Saira, ima nečega u tebi. Ti znaš da otvoriš ljude, da ih izvučeš iz sjenke. Zato što obraćaš pažnju.

Ona je njihovu vjeridbu doživljavala kao potvrdu činjenice da je njen pogled na svijet, koji je godinama tako brižljivo njegovala, bio ispravan.
Po mom dubokom uvjerenju, bezbjednost se nikada ne smije staviti ispred ispravnosti. Nema svrhe u tome da budemo bezbjedni ako postupamo pogrešno. Ova nacija je zasnovana na osjećanju jedinstva i bratstva koje prevazilazi etničke i vjerske podjele.

Žarko sam željela da otkrijem detalje koji bi mi pomogli da shvatim zašto je moj mladji rodjak zbog onoga što je bio morao da bude odbačen od svoje porodice.

Ovdašnja, imućnija mladež uopće ne želi da razmišlja o tome da svi ne žive tako lagodno kao oni. Niko više ne obraća pažnju na činjenicu da sve manje i manje naše djece ima dovoljno hrane i krov nad glavom i mogućnost da se obrazuje. Ovo više nije zemlja već pakleni ponor u kojem vladaju tiranija i pohlepa.

Jesi li odlučila šta želiš da budeš kad još malo porasteš? znam samo šta ne želim da budem.
Moja majka bi nastavila da bježi od svoje prošlosti uporno odbijajući da preispita vlastita osjećanja i odluke.

Zbog sebe same, ostavi prošlost za sobom.

Ko zna da li ću za ovoga života imati priliku da te ponovo vidim. Vidiš koliko sam ostarila? Trebalo je odavno da odem. Svakog dana molim Boga da me uzme na vrijeme, dok je moje dostojanstvo još neokrnjeno.
Ti sada moraš da odlučiš štaod svega toga želiš, da zadržiš, i koliku odgovornost možeš da preuzmeš na svoja pleća. Potrudi se da se ne otudjiš od majke zato što ćeđ jednog dana shvatiti da su tvoje vrijednosti postale bliže njenim vrijednostima. Ona samo želi da budeš srećna.

Nastavi tako, u principu sve se svodi na postavljanje pitanja, jer odgovori nikada ne pripadaju tebi.

To nije nikakvo čudo. Kada se drznete da gurnete nož u nečiju prljavu rabotu, on će se potruditi da vam stavi do znanja da mu se to ne dopada. Ako Pakistan po nečemu prednjači to je stvaranje gunda i terorista.

Prije ili kasnije shvatiš da kakav god put da odabereš, prije ili kasnije kucne čas da shvatiš da nije sve u u tvojim rukama. Kada nastupe takvi trenuci svima nam je potrebno da se povinujemo protokolu. Ako potpuno odbaciš taj stari potpuno ustanovljeni obrazac, trebaće ti mnogo vremena da osmisliš nova pravila po kojima ćeš živjeti. To je strašno teško. Možeš nešto da promijeniš, i da preurediš. Ali da ponovo izmisliš točak? Zašto bi to radila? Brak je samo jedan dio tog protokola.

Tvoja majka brine za tobom. Brine zato što zna da pred tobom stoji mnoštvo različitih izbora,
sa kojim ona nema nikakvih dodoirnih tačaka. Svi smo mi, u krajnjoj liniji, samo ljudi.
Teško nam je kada neko koga volimo, napravi drugačiji izbor od našeg, kada odluči da bude drugačiji od nas, i da živi drugačije nego što mi živimo. To je teško za obje strane. Ti se moraš odlučiti šta želiš ućiniti sa svojim životom.Ali nemoj previše žuriti da odbaciš sve što je staro da bi prigrlila novo. Napravi mjesta za oboje. Ta stara porodična mreža - ona je tu kada se radjamo, ženimo i udajemo. Sagledano iz te perspektive to i nije loše. Ovdje ljudi ne umiru sami i napušteni.

Prošlost sustiže sadašnjost i prepliće se sa njom i ništa još nije definitivno i konačno. U prašumi koja me okružuje postoji još mnogo izostavljenih detalja, činjenica koje sam svojevrmeno odlučila da prečujem i previdim.

Nas dvije smo totalni stranci koji su se obreli pod istim krovom. U njenom slučaju glavni krivac je sticaj nesrećnih okolnosti, a u mom, dužnost i obaveza.

Kad su naši roditelji u pitanju mi uvijek ostajemo djeca. Baš kao što je tvoja majka uvijek bila dijete kada je njen otac bio u pitanju.

To je samo pitanje vrmena - doći će i tvojih pet minuta. Uspjeh otvara vrata Saira, omogućava pristup.

Tvoj posao jeste važan ali ne smiješ zbog njega da odbaciš sve ostalo.

Sada ima djece koja uopšte ne izlaze na vazduh - čak i vazduh koji dišu u kućama je filtriran, a ti grozni klima uredjaji prigušuju čak i zvuke koji dolaze sa ulice. Kao da žive na Marsu - danas svi pričaju o tome kako da uteknu odavdje.

Okrutno je kada čovjek dočeka da ispraća svoju djecu.

Plakala sam tako gorko i očajno da mi se činilo da su njene riječi dolazile iz daljine. Znala sam da joj dugujem objašnjenje, izvinjenje, kajanje - sve ono što joj ranije nikada nisam pružila.

Ne možeš emocijama da se probijaš kroz činjenice. Ako to učiniš gubiš posljednju mrvu objektivnosti. Ti si svog djedu pretvorila u heroja.

U prašumi uvijek postoji još neko - činjenice koje odbacujemo zato što se ne uklapaju u obrazac priča koje pišemo ne mogu biti eliminisane koliko god mi pokušavali to da učinimo, koliko god voljeli gradjevine koje smo konstruisali.

Oboje smo osjećali da moramo da opravdamo milost koja nam je ukazana time što smo postali roditelji.

Prstom pratim te riječi iznova i iznova i konačno shvatam ono što ranije nisam shvatala - da ne postoji odgovori na sva pitanja - da neke istine ostaju nepojmljive za ljudski um.

Mislim da to znači da postoje mnoge stvari koje ne možemo da razumijemo. Stvari iz prošlosti. Loše stvari koje su se desile. Kao ono što se desilo mami. I zato plašimo se onoga što bi moglo da se desi u budućnosti. Normalno je da se plašimo ali i dalje moramo da se nadamo i vjerujemo. I da damo sve od sbe da budemo dobre i da činimo dobro. Čak i kada se plašimo.

Moramo da vodimo računa o tome sta će drugi misliti.. Zivimo medju njima..i sa njima nase odluke uticu i na njih. Njihove odluke uticu na nas. Ne mozemo naprosto da skocimo u sedlo i odjasemo ka zalasku sunca

Rizo nije bila ničija đrtva. Usvojila sam njen ciničan pogled na svijet, pretvorivši ga u
sastavni dio svoje adolescentske ličnosti.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Writing on My Forehead is part of the growing genre about the immigrant experience in the US. It is the story of Saira Qader and her family, spanning 20 years and three continents. Saira's parents are Indian Moslems with their "global network" of family ties in England and Pakistan as well as the US. Saira's mother, Shabana, is very traditional, banning anything shorter than the knee after 12, eschewing Western-style dancing, performing in school plays. Any deviation from her view as appropriate male/female interaction leads Shabana to brand her daughter a "whore" who is ruining her chances on the Pakistani marriage market. Saira is rather rebellious (at least compared to the constraints imposed by her mother, but not in American terms) but her sister is the perfect Indo-Pakistani daughter in Shabana Qader's eyes, beautiful, fair skinned, amenable to an arranged marriage at 19, polite to her elders, with the goal to be a wife and mother first and foremost.

The novel centers around the fissure between tradition and modernity or maintaining ties to the past versus adopting Western culture. Somehow, the novel does not become a cliche although those themes are rather common. Ms. Haji avoids cliche, I think, through excellent writing and fascinating characters. She seems to really "get" the first generation English (Saira's twin cousins are very interesting) and American children of Indo-Pakistani immigrants. She captures the East meets West rebellion quite well and somehow avoids the happy, Bend it Like Bekham ending that one would expect from this genre. Ms. Haji also avoids a morality play kind of ending in which Saira is judged for her rebellion from traditional mores. Further, she avoids an ending where Shabana Qader all of a sudden adopts modernity. This is not to say that the characters don't evolve - they do - but they evolve in a way that makes sense for the personalities that Ms. Haji skillfully develops. This is a great book - I liked it as much as Jhumpa Lahiri's The Namesake and highly recommend it.