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Clueless #1
Clueless
Live what you believe. Do unto others. Accessorize or die.
Cher Horowitz is total golden at Beverly Hills High. She's a full-on Betty. Her closet is strictly designer. She has all the answers... so why shouldn't she run everyone's life? She referees her best friend De's relationship. She's generously making over the new girl, Tai, in her own image. In the land of the clueless, Cher was born to lead.
Only two things have her stumped. Uno) Should she go out with a boy who dresses better than she does? (I mean, what would she bring to the relationship?) And b) What about Josh, the college guy she despises who thinks she's an empty-headed, self-centered, spoiled bimbette? Why does he keep popping into her mind? Could it possibly be that in matters of the heart Cher is really... clueless?
As if!
https://openlibrary.org/books/OL24503...
Cher Horowitz is total golden at Beverly Hills High. She's a full-on Betty. Her closet is strictly designer. She has all the answers... so why shouldn't she run everyone's life? She referees her best friend De's relationship. She's generously making over the new girl, Tai, in her own image. In the land of the clueless, Cher was born to lead.
Only two things have her stumped. Uno) Should she go out with a boy who dresses better than she does? (I mean, what would she bring to the relationship?) And b) What about Josh, the college guy she despises who thinks she's an empty-headed, self-centered, spoiled bimbette? Why does he keep popping into her mind? Could it possibly be that in matters of the heart Cher is really... clueless?
As if!
https://openlibrary.org/books/OL24503...
164 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 1, 1995
11 people are currently reading
772 people want to read
About the author
H.B. Gilmour
66 books54 followersH. B. Gilmour was a bestselling author of children's books. She grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn with her mother and the extended family and fondly remembered writing her very first poem for Arbor Day when she was just eight years old. As a teenager, she moved to Florida to live with her father. She attended college there and then moved back to New York City.
Gilmour’s first publishing job was at E.P. Dutton. In 1964 she joined Bantam Books where she worked as copywriter, editor, and copy chief and as an associate director of marketing. She was married to Bruce Gilmour in 1968. She had a child, Jessica, with him in 1970. They were divorced in 1972. Her first novel "The Trade", a trashy paperback about the publishing business, was published in 1969.
She wrote novelizations (including Saturday Night Fever) and children's books (including Muppets books) while working full-time at Bantam and raising a child on her own. She published her second original novel "So Long, Daddy" in 1985. The artwork for the dust jacket of the hardcover release includes a photo of her daughter, Jessica. Her third novel was "Ask Me If I Care", a book about a teenage girl who gets in with the wrong crowd.
In 1992 she joined the book division at Scholastic, leaving in 1995 to pursue writing full-time. She focused her energy on books for "tweens" and children which is what gave her the most joy.
She met John Johann, whom she would later marry, in 1992. They later moved to Cornwallville in upstate New York where she happily tended to the garden she never had in the city until her death. She died on June 21, 2009 of pneumonia due to complications from lung cancer. She is survived by her husband John, daughter Jessica, stepchildren Wendy and John, Jr. and step-grandchildren Reef, Riley, John Jr. and Jasmine.
Gilmour’s first publishing job was at E.P. Dutton. In 1964 she joined Bantam Books where she worked as copywriter, editor, and copy chief and as an associate director of marketing. She was married to Bruce Gilmour in 1968. She had a child, Jessica, with him in 1970. They were divorced in 1972. Her first novel "The Trade", a trashy paperback about the publishing business, was published in 1969.
She wrote novelizations (including Saturday Night Fever) and children's books (including Muppets books) while working full-time at Bantam and raising a child on her own. She published her second original novel "So Long, Daddy" in 1985. The artwork for the dust jacket of the hardcover release includes a photo of her daughter, Jessica. Her third novel was "Ask Me If I Care", a book about a teenage girl who gets in with the wrong crowd.
In 1992 she joined the book division at Scholastic, leaving in 1995 to pursue writing full-time. She focused her energy on books for "tweens" and children which is what gave her the most joy.
She met John Johann, whom she would later marry, in 1992. They later moved to Cornwallville in upstate New York where she happily tended to the garden she never had in the city until her death. She died on June 21, 2009 of pneumonia due to complications from lung cancer. She is survived by her husband John, daughter Jessica, stepchildren Wendy and John, Jr. and step-grandchildren Reef, Riley, John Jr. and Jasmine.
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March 2, 2018
Okay I totally have seen this movie tons of times. It's hilarious and I'm slightly obsessed with it.
So, of course, I needed to read this book to see what was different or the same. I also wanted to see if it was going to be better than the movie.. because books usually are.
The entire time I kept thinking of the movie. I know how cliché that is, trust me I do, HOWEVER it is so freaking hard not to do that when you've seen the movie countless times before. I love Cher even more and her friendship with Dionne was basically everything to me.
Then there's romance, which was to die for. It honestly made me smile while reading this book because of the movie!
Overall, it's a super quick and fun read. clueless had loveable and quirky characters. I just really enjoyed this book and it kind of makes me want to rewatch the movie.. again.
So, of course, I needed to read this book to see what was different or the same. I also wanted to see if it was going to be better than the movie.. because books usually are.
The entire time I kept thinking of the movie. I know how cliché that is, trust me I do, HOWEVER it is so freaking hard not to do that when you've seen the movie countless times before. I love Cher even more and her friendship with Dionne was basically everything to me.
Then there's romance, which was to die for. It honestly made me smile while reading this book because of the movie!
Overall, it's a super quick and fun read. clueless had loveable and quirky characters. I just really enjoyed this book and it kind of makes me want to rewatch the movie.. again.
April 14, 2013
Growing up a black openly gay teen in a white heterosexual town Cher Horowitz and her life was my escape. Not only did I see this movie FOUR times in the theater but I read every single book (and own them) starting with this one.
She had gay friends, money, fashion, and it was all so enticing to me. Yes it was watered down for Young Adults (no drug references - "Oh you got Coke here?" - or overt sexual overtones), but still I was hooked. Even watched the TV show (that did it no justice). In my opinion the books were WAY better than the TV show. I was praying the writer of the books would've written the show.
She had gay friends, money, fashion, and it was all so enticing to me. Yes it was watered down for Young Adults (no drug references - "Oh you got Coke here?" - or overt sexual overtones), but still I was hooked. Even watched the TV show (that did it no justice). In my opinion the books were WAY better than the TV show. I was praying the writer of the books would've written the show.
July 25, 2020
I added a 4th star because there is a glossary in the back and it defines "woman" as "your boyfriend's name for you".
July 18, 2025
Clueless (Updated)
After dressing for report card day in a lemon, cashmere sweater, plaid mini, and matching vest (accessorized by silk thigh highs and a pale beret, she decides she looks academic and stylish. Then she heads downstairs. Cher lives in Beverly Hills with her father (Mel) a prominent attorney. Cher also has a stepbrother (Josh) from a previous marriage that her friends think is a Baldwin, but to her he’s just a pain because he’s always trying to take care of her (and she hates that).
Her dad tells her Josh is coming over for dinner that night. Cher isn’t thrilled. After her dad leaves for work, Cher picks Dionne up for school in her loqued out jeep. Before they can even pull up to the Quad good, Murray (Deon’s boyfriend) is texting her and she rants to Cher about how possessive he’s becoming. Cher tells her she can do so much better but secretly she thinks Dionne and Murry have been watching too much of “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” (cuz their so full of drama).
It’s not long before Murray has tracked them down and accused Dionne of “jeepin” because she didn’t answer his page. She denies this but confronts him with a fake extension she found in the back seat of his jeep that looks like it could be from “an anorexic bimbette” (named Shawna). Cher peaces out and tells Dionne she’ll get at her later. As she leaves the crowd to their “show”, she thinks she could never imagine dating a high school boy. WAY TO MUCH WORK!
Mr. Hall gives Cher and Amber the topic should all oppressed people be allowed refuge in America. Cher’s argument is “If the government could just get to the kitchen and rearrange some things they could certainly party with the Haitians.” Amber refuses to respond to this. After Travis gives his “unique” view on tolerance, Mr. Hall asks has anyone seen Christian Stoviz who’s supposed to be in their class. Cher says she doesn’t personally know him but she heard his parents have joint custody. He spends one semester in Chicago and one there. He then hands out report cards.
At dinner, Mel and Josh “discuss” what kind of law Josh should go into. Mel’s attention then turns to Cher and he asks where’s her report card. She says it’s not ready. She should have something for him by the end of the week. As she sees it “these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.” Josh asks her what makes her think she can get her teachers to change her grades and she says “Only the fact that she’s done it ever other semester”.
Cher gets Mrs. Stoeger (the PE teacher) to change her grade from a B to a C by bonding with her about having a broken heart and men being dogs. She promises Mrs. Geist she’ll start a letter writing campaign to her congressman about violations of the Clean Air Act and gets a B plus. Mr. Hall won’t budge and says her debates are unresearched, unstructured, and unconvincing. So, Cher decides she’ll hook him up with someone. As, she looks at the teachers in the lunchroom, she decides Mrs. Geist has the most potential.
So, the next school day she and Dee slip a rose and a poem in Mrs. Geist mail box and in class when Mr. Hall excuses one of her tardies, Cher tells him Mrs. Geist did say he was the only one at the school with any compassion. Cher’s dad shows her two parking tickets. He tells her she can’t use the jeep unless she’s with a licensed driver. He says he wants to see her apply herself to something other than makeup. So, she gets Josh to go out with her driving. Josh is nervous the whole time and Cher is rattled because Josh keeps giving her instructions. After a while, Josh has to go to a tree people meeting. They might be getting Marky Mark to help plant a tree.
Cher wonders why he doesn’t just get a gardener. Josh explains to her it’s for charity. Cher says she knows about charity she’s getting her teachers together. Josh says he’s sure it’s more for her benefit than there’s and if he sees her do something that doesn’t completely serve her he’d die of shock.
A day later, its still bothering Cher that Josh called her selfish. She spots Mr. Hall and offers to give him her thermos of Italian Roast because she “accidently swapped her dad’s coffee and her lemon Snapple”. She suggests he share it with Mrs. Geist. Cher and Dionne go to Mrs. Geist, complaint her dress, and try to do something with her hair. They get the stain out of her skirt and send her on her way. On the way to PE, they see Mr. Hall and Mrs. Geist talking to each other and sharing coffee seconds later. They see Mr. Hall talk out a pen and write something down.
Later they see Mr. Hall walking Mrs. Geist to her car and then he gives her a little kiss. On Friday, Mrs. Geist erases a big assignment and tells them to have a great weekend. Proudly she shows her grades to her dad with she received from the power of persuasion that makes her dad beam. He couldn’t more happy if she’d *earned* them.
After this, Cher wants to do more good deeds. In PE a new student is introduced (Tai Fraizer). Cher looks at her and immediately sees someone she can help. Cher invites her to hang with them and they show her around the cafeteria and the different cliques. Tai meets Murray and bonds with Travis over the art on her notebook and the stickers on his skateboard. Tai is excited and tells Dee and Cher about the guy she meet and how she offered to draw Marvin the Martian on his skateboard. Cher tells her uh nooo. You don’t want to date a “boardee”.
Cher suggests a makeover and she reluctantly agrees. They take Tai to Char’s house and work on her hair and makeup. Then they do a workout. Cher tells her to work on her vocabulary (pick a new word a day and try to use it in a sentence) and they pick out a book to read. Now that they have minds and bodies down, they need to do something for the environment.
Tai’s makeover is a definitely hit with the guys at school. Travis gives them a flyer for a party but Cher says its out because it’s in the Valley. Cher says she’s got something going for her now and she needs to strike while the irons hot. She’s got mystery. She can have any guy she wants. Like for instance Eliott. Cher says she’s seen him checking her out and he said she gave him a tooth ache.
Cher gets an idea from Amber and gets everyone to take a group photo. She makes Tai get in front with Eliott and tells him to put his arm around her. Then she takes a single picture of Tai. Eliott asks her to make an extra copy for him. Cher invites Tai over to her house to celebrate her popularity.
At dinner, Dionne calls and tells Cher that Elton has her picture hanging in his locker. Dionne says everyone will be at the party so Cher decides to do a cameo (with Tai). At the party, Travis accidently spills his drink on Cher’s red shoes and she yells at him. Cher tells Tai to pretend Travis is saying something funny because Elton is nearby. A girl named Summer suggests they play “Suck and Blow”. It’s a game where you pass a credit card around using your mouth. Elton ends up kissing Cher. They’re interrupted by Dionne’s screams.
Murray (and his friend Lawrence) shave their heads. Dionne threatens to call his mother and locks herself in the bathroom while he pounds on the door. Travis tries moshing but the dancers aren’t feeling it. Tai comes to his rescue and they exchange flirty comments. Cher sees and drags her in Elton’s direction. Someone’s shoe flies off and hits Tai in the forehead. Travis tries to help but Cher brushes him aside. Elton helps keep her conscious and then invites her back to the dance floor (showing her some moves). Cher is pleased with her work. Then her dad calls and demands she be home in 20 minutes.
Cher tries to maneuver it so Tai will go home with Elton but she ends up going home with Summer and she ends up going home with Elton. Cher tries to talk Tai up but Elton says he considers her one of his best friends and he doesn’t have friends that are girls. Cher says she wants to see him happy and settled. He pulls over into a parking lot and attacks Cher. He says he knew he was sprung on him. He seems amazed that she thinks he’d like Tai. He says the only reason he danced with her is because she wanted him too. He has the picture *she* (Cher) took of Tai in his locker. He says him and Tai make no sense but him and her.
Cher gets out of the car and starts to walk. He follows but when she tells her to leave her alone he says fine and speeds off. Cher is calling for a cab company, she gets held up at gun point.. There’s only one person Cher can call and she REALLY REALLY doesn’t want to call him but she has no choice. She calls Josh. There’s a girl in the background (which doesn’t make Cher happy). She tells him what happened and tells him the location. Cher offends Josh’s girlfriend (Heather) by correcting her on a quote from “Hamlet”
On the way home, she tells him Heather is wrong for him. He says and the right person would be someone like her. She says as if. Tai is inconsolable at school when Cher breaks the news to her. Cher thinks of Josh gloating and then decides to blow off school and take Tai to the mall (with Dionne). Tai questions why they’re so against Travis A song comes on that Tai says was “their song” and she starts to cry. Cher decides to set Tai up with someone else.
She’s in class thinking on this and in walks “James Dean” aka Christian. Cher decides there’s nothing wrong with getting herself a guy too. After this she sends herself cards, chocolates, and flowers to get Christian’s attention. It works. Christians asks if she knows the scoops on the “hot clam bakes” and she says she knows of a party her step-brother’s friends are throwing.
Neither Josh or Mel is impressed with Christian. Cher overhears Josh telling Mel maybe he should go to the party (even tho he admitted to her he’s not going because he can’t dance). The party is jumping and Cher thinks there’s a good chance she’ll find someone for Tai but Tai comes in and immediately trips up (getting her purse strap hung up in the door). Then Eliot walks in with Amber. Then they start kissing. Girls can’t take their eyes off Christian, but he doesn’t pay them the slightest bit of attention. Interestingly, he’s a killer dancer.
Cher then spots Josh walks in. A lot of guys notice Tai but none ask her to dance. To save her from embarrassment Josh dances with Tai. Josh offers to take the girls home at the end of the night. Christian stays behind. Christian says Cher’s a real down girl and that he’ll call her. That night, Josh and Cher hang out and watch Ren and Stimpy. Cher’s dad is going on a trip and Christian wans to throw a party but Cher says she doesn’t want her house destroyed. So, he offers to come over to watch visits. Cher checks the lighting, makes herself up, and bakes cookies. He walks in (without a kiss) a says somethings burning. (It’s the cookies).
She gives him a tour and she suggest they go for a swim. Instead, he says lets watch the movies. They watch Spartacus all the way through. Cher tries to put her leg next to his and says her feet are cold. He gets her a blanket. She tries to get closer to him on the bed and ends up falling on the floor. She offers to get him some wine. He says no wine makes people feel like they hace to be sexy. Then he says he’s getting tired, grabs the tape, compliments her house and how she looks, and says he has an ulcer. Then Cher gets it. He just wants to get out of there.
While venting to Dionne (while Murrays giving her a driving lesson), Cher tells Dionne she was considering giving it up. Murray just makes it plain and clear. HES GAY! Dionne accidently gets on the freeway and Murray has to direct her off. After this its clear they’re relationship is now sexual. Tai is fooling around with some loser males at the mall and they try to drop her over the railing. Christian comes to her rescue. To be so clueless, Cher thinks she has the damsel in distress act down. After this she becomes popular. Tai tries to make plans with Cher but she brushes her off. Travis comes over and makes a childish comment to her and she sends him away coldly. Dionne asks her for sex advice and Cher wonders if she’s on an alternate universe.
Cher is distracted with thoughts of Josh and fails her driving test. Josh and Tai are at the house when she gets back. Tai has a box and wants Cher to help her burn her reminders of Elton. Tai says she’s meet someone else and she asks Cher to help her get with Josh. Cher’s stomach sinks and she asks if there have been any signs that he likes her. Tai tells her the little things Josh has done. Cher tells her she doesn’t think they mesh well. Tai tells her what does she know she can’t drive and hasn’t had a guy. They agree to mellow out and talk later.
It hits Cher one day what Tai could want with Josh, that she’s deeply in love with Josh. Cher volunteers for the Pismo Disaster Relief Committee. Cher accepts an invitation to a Skater’s Event from Travis (whose now in a 12 step program). Tai’s there and she and Cher make up. Tai admits her to afterward she really likes Tai and she suggest Cher should talk to Josh. Cher accidently tries to help with some of her father’s work on a case but accidently makes a mistake and one of the other lawyers gets in her face about it. Josh quickly hops to her defense. The lawyer suggests they have feelings for each other. After this they admit their feelings for each other and kiss. The book ends with Cher and Josh attending Mrs. Geist and Mr. Hall’s wedding as a couple. Cher even catches the boutique.
My Thoughts:
I've watched this movie SO MANY times! I couldn't practically see the scenes in my head as I was reading it. The plot basically while exaggerated and poking fun at the other half, shows similarities to things we can all relate too. Such as having to sometimes take care of relatives with health concerns -as Cher watches out for her dad-, being there for a friend and helping them get through a heartache-as Cher did Tai-, getting robbed and feeling violated-as Cher did when she was stuck up after the party-, dealing with the hurt of discovering you love someone and seeing them with someone else-as Cher does Tai and Josh-and then having strong feelings for someone only to find out they aren't who you thought they were-like Christian-. I I totally loved Cher. She is kind of clueless, but in a lovable way because she tries so hard to do good and that redeems any shallowness of being a material girl. She and Dionne just fit together. I loved Dionne's wit. I even liked her and Murry together and I thought they picked the perfect people to play the characters for the movie!
Rating: 8
After dressing for report card day in a lemon, cashmere sweater, plaid mini, and matching vest (accessorized by silk thigh highs and a pale beret, she decides she looks academic and stylish. Then she heads downstairs. Cher lives in Beverly Hills with her father (Mel) a prominent attorney. Cher also has a stepbrother (Josh) from a previous marriage that her friends think is a Baldwin, but to her he’s just a pain because he’s always trying to take care of her (and she hates that).
Her dad tells her Josh is coming over for dinner that night. Cher isn’t thrilled. After her dad leaves for work, Cher picks Dionne up for school in her loqued out jeep. Before they can even pull up to the Quad good, Murray (Deon’s boyfriend) is texting her and she rants to Cher about how possessive he’s becoming. Cher tells her she can do so much better but secretly she thinks Dionne and Murry have been watching too much of “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” (cuz their so full of drama).
It’s not long before Murray has tracked them down and accused Dionne of “jeepin” because she didn’t answer his page. She denies this but confronts him with a fake extension she found in the back seat of his jeep that looks like it could be from “an anorexic bimbette” (named Shawna). Cher peaces out and tells Dionne she’ll get at her later. As she leaves the crowd to their “show”, she thinks she could never imagine dating a high school boy. WAY TO MUCH WORK!
Mr. Hall gives Cher and Amber the topic should all oppressed people be allowed refuge in America. Cher’s argument is “If the government could just get to the kitchen and rearrange some things they could certainly party with the Haitians.” Amber refuses to respond to this. After Travis gives his “unique” view on tolerance, Mr. Hall asks has anyone seen Christian Stoviz who’s supposed to be in their class. Cher says she doesn’t personally know him but she heard his parents have joint custody. He spends one semester in Chicago and one there. He then hands out report cards.
At dinner, Mel and Josh “discuss” what kind of law Josh should go into. Mel’s attention then turns to Cher and he asks where’s her report card. She says it’s not ready. She should have something for him by the end of the week. As she sees it “these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.” Josh asks her what makes her think she can get her teachers to change her grades and she says “Only the fact that she’s done it ever other semester”.
Cher gets Mrs. Stoeger (the PE teacher) to change her grade from a B to a C by bonding with her about having a broken heart and men being dogs. She promises Mrs. Geist she’ll start a letter writing campaign to her congressman about violations of the Clean Air Act and gets a B plus. Mr. Hall won’t budge and says her debates are unresearched, unstructured, and unconvincing. So, Cher decides she’ll hook him up with someone. As, she looks at the teachers in the lunchroom, she decides Mrs. Geist has the most potential.
So, the next school day she and Dee slip a rose and a poem in Mrs. Geist mail box and in class when Mr. Hall excuses one of her tardies, Cher tells him Mrs. Geist did say he was the only one at the school with any compassion. Cher’s dad shows her two parking tickets. He tells her she can’t use the jeep unless she’s with a licensed driver. He says he wants to see her apply herself to something other than makeup. So, she gets Josh to go out with her driving. Josh is nervous the whole time and Cher is rattled because Josh keeps giving her instructions. After a while, Josh has to go to a tree people meeting. They might be getting Marky Mark to help plant a tree.
Cher wonders why he doesn’t just get a gardener. Josh explains to her it’s for charity. Cher says she knows about charity she’s getting her teachers together. Josh says he’s sure it’s more for her benefit than there’s and if he sees her do something that doesn’t completely serve her he’d die of shock.
A day later, its still bothering Cher that Josh called her selfish. She spots Mr. Hall and offers to give him her thermos of Italian Roast because she “accidently swapped her dad’s coffee and her lemon Snapple”. She suggests he share it with Mrs. Geist. Cher and Dionne go to Mrs. Geist, complaint her dress, and try to do something with her hair. They get the stain out of her skirt and send her on her way. On the way to PE, they see Mr. Hall and Mrs. Geist talking to each other and sharing coffee seconds later. They see Mr. Hall talk out a pen and write something down.
Later they see Mr. Hall walking Mrs. Geist to her car and then he gives her a little kiss. On Friday, Mrs. Geist erases a big assignment and tells them to have a great weekend. Proudly she shows her grades to her dad with she received from the power of persuasion that makes her dad beam. He couldn’t more happy if she’d *earned* them.
After this, Cher wants to do more good deeds. In PE a new student is introduced (Tai Fraizer). Cher looks at her and immediately sees someone she can help. Cher invites her to hang with them and they show her around the cafeteria and the different cliques. Tai meets Murray and bonds with Travis over the art on her notebook and the stickers on his skateboard. Tai is excited and tells Dee and Cher about the guy she meet and how she offered to draw Marvin the Martian on his skateboard. Cher tells her uh nooo. You don’t want to date a “boardee”.
Cher suggests a makeover and she reluctantly agrees. They take Tai to Char’s house and work on her hair and makeup. Then they do a workout. Cher tells her to work on her vocabulary (pick a new word a day and try to use it in a sentence) and they pick out a book to read. Now that they have minds and bodies down, they need to do something for the environment.
Tai’s makeover is a definitely hit with the guys at school. Travis gives them a flyer for a party but Cher says its out because it’s in the Valley. Cher says she’s got something going for her now and she needs to strike while the irons hot. She’s got mystery. She can have any guy she wants. Like for instance Eliott. Cher says she’s seen him checking her out and he said she gave him a tooth ache.
Cher gets an idea from Amber and gets everyone to take a group photo. She makes Tai get in front with Eliott and tells him to put his arm around her. Then she takes a single picture of Tai. Eliott asks her to make an extra copy for him. Cher invites Tai over to her house to celebrate her popularity.
At dinner, Dionne calls and tells Cher that Elton has her picture hanging in his locker. Dionne says everyone will be at the party so Cher decides to do a cameo (with Tai). At the party, Travis accidently spills his drink on Cher’s red shoes and she yells at him. Cher tells Tai to pretend Travis is saying something funny because Elton is nearby. A girl named Summer suggests they play “Suck and Blow”. It’s a game where you pass a credit card around using your mouth. Elton ends up kissing Cher. They’re interrupted by Dionne’s screams.
Murray (and his friend Lawrence) shave their heads. Dionne threatens to call his mother and locks herself in the bathroom while he pounds on the door. Travis tries moshing but the dancers aren’t feeling it. Tai comes to his rescue and they exchange flirty comments. Cher sees and drags her in Elton’s direction. Someone’s shoe flies off and hits Tai in the forehead. Travis tries to help but Cher brushes him aside. Elton helps keep her conscious and then invites her back to the dance floor (showing her some moves). Cher is pleased with her work. Then her dad calls and demands she be home in 20 minutes.
Cher tries to maneuver it so Tai will go home with Elton but she ends up going home with Summer and she ends up going home with Elton. Cher tries to talk Tai up but Elton says he considers her one of his best friends and he doesn’t have friends that are girls. Cher says she wants to see him happy and settled. He pulls over into a parking lot and attacks Cher. He says he knew he was sprung on him. He seems amazed that she thinks he’d like Tai. He says the only reason he danced with her is because she wanted him too. He has the picture *she* (Cher) took of Tai in his locker. He says him and Tai make no sense but him and her.
Cher gets out of the car and starts to walk. He follows but when she tells her to leave her alone he says fine and speeds off. Cher is calling for a cab company, she gets held up at gun point.. There’s only one person Cher can call and she REALLY REALLY doesn’t want to call him but she has no choice. She calls Josh. There’s a girl in the background (which doesn’t make Cher happy). She tells him what happened and tells him the location. Cher offends Josh’s girlfriend (Heather) by correcting her on a quote from “Hamlet”
On the way home, she tells him Heather is wrong for him. He says and the right person would be someone like her. She says as if. Tai is inconsolable at school when Cher breaks the news to her. Cher thinks of Josh gloating and then decides to blow off school and take Tai to the mall (with Dionne). Tai questions why they’re so against Travis A song comes on that Tai says was “their song” and she starts to cry. Cher decides to set Tai up with someone else.
She’s in class thinking on this and in walks “James Dean” aka Christian. Cher decides there’s nothing wrong with getting herself a guy too. After this she sends herself cards, chocolates, and flowers to get Christian’s attention. It works. Christians asks if she knows the scoops on the “hot clam bakes” and she says she knows of a party her step-brother’s friends are throwing.
Neither Josh or Mel is impressed with Christian. Cher overhears Josh telling Mel maybe he should go to the party (even tho he admitted to her he’s not going because he can’t dance). The party is jumping and Cher thinks there’s a good chance she’ll find someone for Tai but Tai comes in and immediately trips up (getting her purse strap hung up in the door). Then Eliot walks in with Amber. Then they start kissing. Girls can’t take their eyes off Christian, but he doesn’t pay them the slightest bit of attention. Interestingly, he’s a killer dancer.
Cher then spots Josh walks in. A lot of guys notice Tai but none ask her to dance. To save her from embarrassment Josh dances with Tai. Josh offers to take the girls home at the end of the night. Christian stays behind. Christian says Cher’s a real down girl and that he’ll call her. That night, Josh and Cher hang out and watch Ren and Stimpy. Cher’s dad is going on a trip and Christian wans to throw a party but Cher says she doesn’t want her house destroyed. So, he offers to come over to watch visits. Cher checks the lighting, makes herself up, and bakes cookies. He walks in (without a kiss) a says somethings burning. (It’s the cookies).
She gives him a tour and she suggest they go for a swim. Instead, he says lets watch the movies. They watch Spartacus all the way through. Cher tries to put her leg next to his and says her feet are cold. He gets her a blanket. She tries to get closer to him on the bed and ends up falling on the floor. She offers to get him some wine. He says no wine makes people feel like they hace to be sexy. Then he says he’s getting tired, grabs the tape, compliments her house and how she looks, and says he has an ulcer. Then Cher gets it. He just wants to get out of there.
While venting to Dionne (while Murrays giving her a driving lesson), Cher tells Dionne she was considering giving it up. Murray just makes it plain and clear. HES GAY! Dionne accidently gets on the freeway and Murray has to direct her off. After this its clear they’re relationship is now sexual. Tai is fooling around with some loser males at the mall and they try to drop her over the railing. Christian comes to her rescue. To be so clueless, Cher thinks she has the damsel in distress act down. After this she becomes popular. Tai tries to make plans with Cher but she brushes her off. Travis comes over and makes a childish comment to her and she sends him away coldly. Dionne asks her for sex advice and Cher wonders if she’s on an alternate universe.
Cher is distracted with thoughts of Josh and fails her driving test. Josh and Tai are at the house when she gets back. Tai has a box and wants Cher to help her burn her reminders of Elton. Tai says she’s meet someone else and she asks Cher to help her get with Josh. Cher’s stomach sinks and she asks if there have been any signs that he likes her. Tai tells her the little things Josh has done. Cher tells her she doesn’t think they mesh well. Tai tells her what does she know she can’t drive and hasn’t had a guy. They agree to mellow out and talk later.
It hits Cher one day what Tai could want with Josh, that she’s deeply in love with Josh. Cher volunteers for the Pismo Disaster Relief Committee. Cher accepts an invitation to a Skater’s Event from Travis (whose now in a 12 step program). Tai’s there and she and Cher make up. Tai admits her to afterward she really likes Tai and she suggest Cher should talk to Josh. Cher accidently tries to help with some of her father’s work on a case but accidently makes a mistake and one of the other lawyers gets in her face about it. Josh quickly hops to her defense. The lawyer suggests they have feelings for each other. After this they admit their feelings for each other and kiss. The book ends with Cher and Josh attending Mrs. Geist and Mr. Hall’s wedding as a couple. Cher even catches the boutique.
My Thoughts:
I've watched this movie SO MANY times! I couldn't practically see the scenes in my head as I was reading it. The plot basically while exaggerated and poking fun at the other half, shows similarities to things we can all relate too. Such as having to sometimes take care of relatives with health concerns -as Cher watches out for her dad-, being there for a friend and helping them get through a heartache-as Cher did Tai-, getting robbed and feeling violated-as Cher did when she was stuck up after the party-, dealing with the hurt of discovering you love someone and seeing them with someone else-as Cher does Tai and Josh-and then having strong feelings for someone only to find out they aren't who you thought they were-like Christian-. I I totally loved Cher. She is kind of clueless, but in a lovable way because she tries so hard to do good and that redeems any shallowness of being a material girl. She and Dionne just fit together. I loved Dionne's wit. I even liked her and Murry together and I thought they picked the perfect people to play the characters for the movie!
Rating: 8
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 6, 2012
I know this may be a silly novel, but I really liked it. I didn't read any others in the series, but I thought this was a fun read as a teenager. It made me take that era just a little less seriously.
October 10, 2017
I never thought I'd say this, but the movie is (much!!) better than the book:)
July 14, 2023
i didnt feel like renting the movie 🤷♀️
April 26, 2009
"As if! Whatever. I'm Audi. Carpe Diem! And I'm all..." plus the question of whether one should date a boy who dresses better than you do (hmm, what will you then bring into the relationship?) These catch-phrases have been popularized by the movie "Clueless" back in the late 1990s and I was enough of a fan to buy the movie tie-in book of the film. Don't look for anything with deep literary meaning here, just read this chick lit for what it is: something to relive the movie with and to enjoy in an otherwise boring car trip.
Meet Cher--she lives in Beverly Hills with her father, has her wardrobe on computer, and drives a Jeep even though she doesn't have a license. She wants to do good -- like arranging for two of her teachers to fall in love or rescuing a New York transplant from teenage hell -- all the while trying not only to give others the benefit of her fashion advice but also to makeover her soul.
The book stayed very close to the movie but I liked the book a tad bit better because you get to learn more about the characters. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves the "Clueless" movie and/or the now defunct tv series.
Book Details:
Title Clueless
Author H. B. Gilmour
Reviewed By Purplycookie
Meet Cher--she lives in Beverly Hills with her father, has her wardrobe on computer, and drives a Jeep even though she doesn't have a license. She wants to do good -- like arranging for two of her teachers to fall in love or rescuing a New York transplant from teenage hell -- all the while trying not only to give others the benefit of her fashion advice but also to makeover her soul.
The book stayed very close to the movie but I liked the book a tad bit better because you get to learn more about the characters. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves the "Clueless" movie and/or the now defunct tv series.
Book Details:
Title Clueless
Author H. B. Gilmour
Reviewed By Purplycookie
January 19, 2013
I really enjoyed reading this book. It was very interesting because the characters would be in like a competition. All the girls would have competition with the guys. It reminded me of my years in the high school. I can relate to the story because there was characters named Cher and Dionne who go on a date and they want to convince there teacher to go on a date as well. So they do her a make over. They put make up on her , dressed her up. That would be very fun if I could do that to one of my teachers. I would recommend this to 12-16 year olds because it is very interesting story but it involves boys.
July 3, 2011
One of my favourite books when I was 12 so I just have to re-read it at some point. I used to go to the local library just to get this book and I'd read it over the weekend and take it back on the Monday after school. For most of my pre-teen years, I wanted to be Cher and live in Beverley Hills, as sad as that sounds the only thing I wanted from life was a Mercedes Benz convertible and the right to use my dad's credit card to buy whatever the heck I wanted. Perhaps this experience, this false expectation of life at age 12 is where my current financial disobedience stems from...
March 7, 2014
Back in the mid-nineties I happened upon a novel named Clueless, based on the film Clueless, based on Jane Austen's Emma. I read it. It opens with a dream sequence in which our heroine Cher is dubbed "Clueless" by her deceased mother. Her mother has a bread-scented hand. There is a glossary of terms, as if. That's all I remember.
October 10, 2014
More or less a Movie to page adaptation. It was nearly like reading the script to the movie (so many verbatim lines.) I mean it was a nostalgic and a really quick read but it would've been cool to see a different side of Cher but hey for what it was, it was pretty good :)
June 17, 2021
it was almost painful sitting through all that time-specific slang (baldwins and betties, go figure), and i much prefer the movie. but it was also very sweet, and i can see how i would be crazy about cher and clueless if i was a teen when it first came out.
Currently reading
July 14, 2012How do I read the books I dont know how
August 12, 2013
I read it a very long time ago but I had also never seen the movie at the time. But since I saw the movie not much long after and I can't help but be bias.
September 10, 2016
A harmless bit of fluff that is exactly like the movie.
March 7, 2014
Loved the book when I was in my teens,
Read
October 5, 2015Good
October 30, 2015
Loved this movie and although the book did not have the same affect on me, it was a quick, light read. Cher is a great character and gives you that warm feeling and definitely is true to the title!
March 6, 2017
A light, fun book to read.
January 11, 2018
Saw the movie, equally good as the book. ALSO YOUNG PAUL RUDD <3
April 20, 2018
This was one of my favourite books to read and reread when I was a teenager. You know, in-between repeated viewings of the film.
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September 29, 2021 “Clueless” has a plot line in which Cher, a High School Student who gives everyone makeovers, realized that people don’t like her when she meddles. Cher starts taking after one of her role models, Harriet Goddard, she starts dressing like her and acting like her. But everyone dislikes this ‘new’ Cher even more. Cher starts to question herself, she likes her new look but she also wants her old life back. I think this is a fun, light story. I wish there were more plot twists but overall it's an interesting story. There also is a huge moral that everyone should learn. I would give this book 4 out of 5 stars because I enjoyed the overall plot leading to the moral but I feel like there could have been a few more events. The theme and moral of this story is to just be yourself no matter what people think.
April 21, 2019
3 and a Half stars 😊. This and the breakfast club are my fav movies of all time so of COURSE I automatically brought the book! Obviously some lines that were in the movie (that I loved) where not in this but it was a small price to pay for all of the other amazing things that happened here. I love the little added detail in this and (I have to admit) I did read this book hoping for some more development on Cher and josh character and tbh I wasn't disappointed. The book was over way too fast and wished it would last but I'm glad anyway x brilliant read!
July 18, 2020
I never read a lot of novelizations as a kid—the only one I can clearly remember reading is a novelization of Aladdin (I guess I really loved that movie?), so I have no idea how to review this. It’s kinda charming in its own way—and it helps that I’ve seen the movie a million times so I can picture the cast, costumes, and sets clearly. But almost all the great jokes from the film are ruined, as this book is completely sex-and-drug free. You don’t even want to know what HB Gilmour does to Tai’s “You’re a virgin who can’t drive” line. I should give this book ZERO stars for that!
May 21, 2023
I love the Clueless movie and have watched it a million times. I have it memorized word for word. This book is almost like reading the movie verbatim, which made it a little boring. I was hoping for some added details or extra scenes. The book does do a better job with talking about the affect on Cher from losing her mom. Otherwise, it is identical to the movie. Always a cute story- not sure I would tell people they should read the book.
It did make me want to watch the movie again! 🤣
It did make me want to watch the movie again! 🤣
April 28, 2024
💅🏻𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬💅🏻
It was such a nice read. There weren't really new things, because i already watched the film, but nevertheless I liked this book and had a fun time while reading it.
One thing I liked was that I got a little more insight of the character of Cher and her inner feelings. It added more deep to her personality.
But the rest is like the movie and I think I need to watch this again🤭
If you like the movie and need an easy and short read, then maybe you should read this book.
It was such a nice read. There weren't really new things, because i already watched the film, but nevertheless I liked this book and had a fun time while reading it.
One thing I liked was that I got a little more insight of the character of Cher and her inner feelings. It added more deep to her personality.
But the rest is like the movie and I think I need to watch this again🤭
If you like the movie and need an easy and short read, then maybe you should read this book.
July 1, 2019
Totally didn't expect this to be worthy of 5 stars, but tscha, it was worth picking up. I thought maybe after reading this book, I'd be totally buggin', but it was cute. Subtle differences, really. It was like watching the movie. Which I'm kinda glad, because I could go totally postal if there were, like, random stuff in it. Will this story ever lose is classic status? As if!
July 12, 2021
only read this bc i found it at the back of my home’s office. liked it but i’d rather watch the movie bc of paul rudd
Want to read
November 5, 2021uh- WHERE CAN I FIND???
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