Don't Get Me Started

by Kate Clinton

Let's get one thing straight. I'm not. And yes, my brother is Bill Clinton. But not "the" Bill Clinton. These two guys are very different. For one, whenever I hear President Bill speak--on gays in the military, healthcare reform--I hear that sound trucks make when they're backing up.
I'm out and proud. When I'm out and it's raining I carry an umbrella. I used to be in but I hate the smell of moth balls. My closet was huge, complete with a foyer, turnstile, a few locks, dead bolts, and a burglar alarm that had to be deactivated before I could even touch the door handle. And then there was the storm door. It wasn't until I had lived and slept with a woman for a year that it occurred to me to ask, "Do you think were lesbians?" By the way, never come out to your father in a moving vehicle.
Now I've written a book. It's not as easy as it looks. One night, I was working late on my computer when a little message came up on the screen, "You are almost out of memory." Here are my thoughts and observations on everything from gay marriage (Mad Vow Disease) to my morbid fear of mascots (with the exception of the San Diego Chicken). Thats all I'm going to say because I don't wantto spoil it for you. That's a job for Jesse Helms.
I'll leave you with one last anecdote: Once when my Dad was visiting, he sat through an evening of gay politics, gay theory, gay gossip, and toward the end of the discussion, my partner turned to him and asked, "Well, Mr. Clinton, what do you think we as gay people can do to make more bridges to straight people?" My Dad did one of his patented, exquisitely timed pauses and replied, "Keep talking."

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Comedy, Lesbian, Essays

Audio Cassette

First published May 12, 1998

About the author

Kate Clinton is a faith-based, tax-paying, America-loving political humorist and family entertainer. With a career spanning over 25 years, Kate Clinton has worked through economic booms and busts, Disneyfication and Walmartization, gay movements and gay markets, lesbian chic and queer eyes, and ten presidential inaugurals. She still believes that humor gets us through peacetime, wartime and scoundrel time.

Reviews

[Jaena4 Beadling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love, love, love Kate Clinton!

[Damian Serbu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate Clinton is HILARIOUS. My favorite comedian of all time. A must read.

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Kate. I hadn't read this one before and found it at a used book store. lots of laughs

[KA · Rating 4 out of 5]

She has kind of a confusing writing style at times, but overall this collection is funny and at times poignant.

[Ann Colangelo]

Dnf I tried time and time again to read I just can’t get into the spontaneity of it. She’s witty and entertaining but it’s not too much my style.

[ND]

fun, if now slightly out of date...

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kate Clinton is a very funny, thought-provoking, lesbian stand-up comic. She made me laugh out loud many times. The book was published in 1998 and was Clinton's first book. It is a bit dated. Young people might not get all the references, but I'm not young (!) and I loved it.

[Pam Rodenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember reading some of this while sitting at the gate in an airport. I had to put it down because I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face.