The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior

by Craig Nakken

Craig Nakken brings new depth and dimension to our understanding of how an individual becomes an addict.

Since its publication in 1988, The Addictive Personality has helped people understand the process of addiction. Now, through this second edition, author Craig Nakken brings new depth and dimension to our understanding of how an individual becomes an addict. Going beyond the definition that limits dependency to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, Nakken uncovers the common denominator of all addiction and describes how the process is progressive.

Through research and practical experience, Nakken sheds new light on:

Genetic factors tied to addiction;

Cultural influences on addictive behavior;

The progressive nature of the disease; and

Steps to a successful recovery.

The author examines how addictions start, how society pushes people toward addiction, and what happens inside those who become addicted. This new edition will help anyone seeking a better understanding of the addictive process and its impact on our lives.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Addiction, Self Help, Counselling, Health, Spirituality

144 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

Reviews

[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes the rig book just appear at the right time. Found it while browsing my book app and it couldn't have been more perfect timing. Probably to much info for most people but I'm an alcoholic and I've recently had a few relapses after staying sober for over 2 years. This wasn't a book about how to stop or how to get free but an look on what addiction is and what it does to an human mind. It's not only alcohol that is talked in this. Food, shopping, kleptomania, gambling, sex addiction and drugs is all included as the behavior is similar in all addiction. It feelt so comforting to read this 130 pages ebook to have it written in black and white what addiction is and isn't.the bad thoughts i always deal with isn't unique to me and I feel hope to be able to work on it. It's is also a good book for people who has friends or relatives dealing with addiction behavior as it talks in an easy and digestible way.

[Chelsea Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Explains what addiction is and how it operates better than anything out there. Should be required reading for all people. Should be taught in middle school. Warning: do not judge this book by it's cover. It does NOT posit that there are certain people who are predisposed to addiction because they have the "personality" for it. Quite the opposite, it lays out clearly and systematically how addiction begins and can happen to anyone, and how the addictive personality is something that is FORMED through repetitive engaging in addictive behavior. Everyone should read this, but will be especially helpful to those struggling with addiction or who have loved ones that are addicted.

[John Martindale · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is truly refreshing to hear someone else eloquently voice many observations I've made concerning my own experience and those of others. Craig Nakken did an excellent job of explaining the addictive process and the horrible consequences, over and over again I thought he hit the nail square on the head. i liked for example how he pointed out that a terrible part of addiction is it results in one no longer seeing people as valuable individuals, but rather as objects, mere means to selfish ends.

As far as what He briefly wrote on the recovery process, my inner skeptic did cringe due to his heavy emphasis on the AA principle of needing the Higher Power. I suppose because I personally feel betrayed and let down by the Higher Power; abandoned and left the try and fail and fail again.

But yeah, all in all, this book was timely, for it seems the Dr Jackal in me was making peace with his Mr. Hyde, yeah I was surrendering, allowing the addictive personality to become more dominate, it just seemed to much easier. But this book reminded me to keep up the fight, to continue to pursue recovery. It sobered me up and reminded me of the crushing waterfall, that I was being carried towards by a strong current. I suppose its time to start looking for a branch to grab hold of.

[Crista · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars!

If you ever find yourself rocked by a loved one's addiction and are seeking to understand what makes them act the way they do: this is the book for you. If you are stuck in addictive-type behaviors, this would also be a wonderful book to read.

For me, this book gave healing, understanding, and compassion for the addict. I really wish it was titled differently because I do not believe that we are born with an "addictive personality", and neither does this book. The addictive personality is what forms after an addiction has taken root, and it's what takes over as the addict seeks to protect and feed the addiction.

If you are in need of some answers and need help finding the "why", this is the only book that worked for me to provide the answers I needed.

Good luck and blessings to you in the midst of this painful journey.

[sawaaiiq · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an informative read, I didn't give it the attention it needed tbh.. if you want to understand the addiction process you should read it

"Recovery, we learn, is not about shame. Shame is a judgment we place on our own being, rather than against our actions. Recovery is about allowing us to feel guilt. As recovering people, we need to learn the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt means we have committed an action that was wrong or not helpful to others or to ourselves. We can then think about and correct the offending action, regaining our sense of self-respect. Though we're guilty, we can correct the mistake and be forgiven, and the mistake can be forgotten."

[Steve Lee Sr · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's so much I never knew...

Just when I think I'm getting out, they pull me back in! The many aspects of the addictive personality are complex and TRICKY. The chances of understanding how it all works, apart from an excellent book like this, are remote.

The addictive personality that develops within some of us, replaces the "true" self and will go to great lengths to survive, even giving-up one addiction for another, just to remain in control.

I am so glad I read this book. It gives a clear view of what the addict is up against in his efforts to regain control of his life. BONUS! Craig Nakken also discusses the tools that are available and necessary to put the addictive personality in it's place and keep it there.

This book covers a lot of technical information, but does so in a way that is easy to understand, yet still valuable for professional therapists or just folks who are struggling as an addict or someone who loves an addict.

There is so much incredible information in these 120 pages, it's not surprising that the book has sold over 100,000 copies. Truthfully, it deserves to be even more widely read.

[Havebooks Willread · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an excellent book for any layperson desiring to have a better understanding of the process of addiction. A self-described addict recommended it to me with the comment "It's like the author knows me better than I know myself."

The author describes addiction as beginning with "an attempt to control and fulfill a desire for happiness" and fundamentally a relationship issue. My understanding is that an addict looks to an object or event to get his/her emotional needs met instead of to others, God, community, etc, which further isolates the addict, which creates more of a need for the addict to act out.

I was most fascinated with his depiction of the internal struggle going on between "the Self" and "the Addict", rather like the Jekyll and Hyde of Stevenson's classic novel.

I am glad to have read this one.

[Jeannie Leighton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or if you come from a dysfunctional family, I highly recommend reading this book. The author describes, explores, and explains how the addictive personality develops.

[Jacob · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, which looks similar to Addictive Thinking: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior, covers more of the behavorial side of addiction. The author's main idea is that an alternate personality, The Addict, develops for some people and addiction comes when that personality beats the original into submission and takes over. His advice for therapy is to bring the original back out and encourage the individual to act in ways that don't allow The Addict to reassert control. The approach seems serviceable to me. One of the biggest things I learned from this book is that, despite what some may think, my reading is not an addiction because a) it hasn't taken over and ruined my life and b) I don't have a non-reading personality that got squashed.

This book covers behavioral addictions in addition to chemical ones, which I appreciated. Both were sorted into "addictions about pleasure" and "addictions about power" buckets, although I'm not sure the division made sense for all the addictions. The idea that addictions develop as an attempt to control the normal vicissitudes of life feels accurate, as does the admonition that in order to fully recover a person must learn to develop and take pleasure from real relationships, and that bad things happen in life that feel bad and must be faced.

I must also note that although this seemed more comprehensive than Addictive Thinking, the writing was harder to get through. I would have appreciated more examples / stories like the other book had.

[Erin Odom · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a really good intro to the addictive brain. I can’t say it was a “fun” read, but it was definitely educating. Anyone who has a loved one who suffers with any kind of addiction may want to give this book a peek.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book. I learned so much! Huge help for me.

[Rita Buffone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers so much more than the scientific script that books typically provide. I'm sorry I didn't come across it sooner. Very interesting and thought provoking.

[Fleur Watts · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s dated now but still some good chunks of wisdom throughout. Always comes back to the connection we get in relationships, and where do some people find trust and love if they can’t get it from people.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I'm not big on most alcoholism/addiction/self-help books, this one was both fascinating and helpful to me in its central theses about personality types and the destructive quest for happiness. While my personal experience leads me to question the author's description of the "stages" of addiction, and what he includes in the realm of "addictions" seems positively comical, the basic thesis of the book is a brilliantly resonant speculation on the essential core of addictive behavior.

[Alina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a fan of this book at all.. Feel like everything that is discussed is a common knowledge, especially if you are interested in psychology and read numerous books to similar behaviours as addicts experience. But it looks like it has a high rating so I am assuming this book is very helpful for some. As usual, study notes/take aways from a book bellow.

spoilers!

NOTES
- Understanding addiction -> abnormal relationship with an object, hoping to get their needs met/ acting out- getting support from their addiction, as it leads to a predictable mood change experience.
- Intensity vs Intimacy in the eyes of the addict
STAGES OF ADDICTION
STAGE 1: Internal Stage (changing addictive personality)
- Personality is altered/ mood is changed but its more intense feeling.This mistaken with a comfort -> compulsive behaviour; addiction occur if a person doesn't create family/friendship/ spiritual & communal relationships. -> addictive cycle begins; Shame created, restless, denial of self and reality, loss of control vs gain and illusion of control, ironically more pain is created, mood change..> the addictive delusion.
STAGE 2: Life style change
- A behavioural dependency - > behaviour withdrawal, secret world, lies to others, blames others, retualizatlion of your behaviour.
- Commitment and developing healthy rituals
- Inner struggle
- People problems ->treatment of others as objects, other concern seems noisy, not important.
- Mistrust is created
- Recommitment of nurturing life, spirit, self and connecting with others
STAGE 3: Life breakdown
- Paranoia develops that others on to them, addict starts to manipulate
- Withdrawal from others -solitude, lack of intimacy; push & clingy behaviour - fear develops
- Some may have financial problem
- Physical signs of breaking down
- Shame is high, "no one hates the addict more than the addict himself"
- Thoughts of suicide
PART 3: The why of recovery
- Drive for connection: drive for meaning, resistance, power & pleasure
-Pleasure sicking people -> constant monitor personal sensations, can't commit, dishonest, sick only own pleasure -> Lesson for recovery for addict personality
- Power person -> self confidence comes with power, gain control, more control = more self-confidence, but it is illusionary. Result they suffer from low self esteem, they engaged in lieing, manipulation. -> proving themselves that they are right , they argue, end justifies means power at all cost. Always need to show that he/she is right. Power centered in love- to protect themselves they control the relationship, other person. Tries to stay attached. Dependency, dominant relationship, the will pursue until the other person gives in. Love for this person is unstable. End result is fear-> narcissistic, paranoid lifestyle. Always on guard that someone will take the power.
Blame is essential, to keep power one can't be wrong.
- Meaning centered project: want to better the world, develop conscious life principles, sceptical about their impulsive, try to control them, have understanding that 2 ways to get power: by building or destroying; ethical power- stick to spiritual principles, honesty. Don't control the moment, they live in it, life is serious of struggle, learn to extract meaning for it, self- is not seen as a centre of the earth, power use creatively not abusively, one can learn from any relationship.
- Resistance:
- End of the endless cycle: admit addictive personality ( helps to start relationship with oneself & others, builds trust); dealing with people outside is difficult ( higher power); slowing down addictive space ( use the recovery group); need to lear addictive process in them; honesty/ connection with oneself and others; guilt & shame in recovery; excepting others & supporting each other; reshaping rituals.

PART 4:
- Family And Addiction
- Having Parents Who Suffer Addictions -> codependents; language of addiction leads to picking up the same type of people; children experience emotional instability; family taught to lie and deny their healthy responses and coping skills.
- Growing up in abusive family -> intentional abuse -> children needs are not met, taught to reflect pain on others; think that your own needs are not important, you are there to satisfy others needs- attachment created?!
- Neglected family - > children take space, their self esteem is not fully developed, they are passive, dead inside, need to feel alive ( acting out); followers, mood change - excited vs passiveness.
- Shaming families -> victims the members - victims, taught not to be vulnerable, be perfect, not to be caught in the middle, mistrust created , secret life and self can be created; involve in behaviour others not aware; act what they think is normal when in fact it isn't; often believe that they are the bad people, may become defensive; have deep anger and pain- they look for pain relief
- Inconsistent family: -child deprived of consistent relationship, no dept relationship, children usually not sure of their surroundings, peer-presure, loneliness, trust issues, have relationship with objects that has illusional fulfilment, not allowed to feel, only parents reality
ADVICED BOOK by the author: Facing Shame: Families in Recovery

[Jose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear, to the point, good book. will use in school and therapy.

[Kelsie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I considered this a very good book because personally, I too have an addictive personality for affection.

[Stacey Jean Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read and concise in it's revelations surrounding the addictive process.

[horace dudley jr. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

Much needed in recovery. Awesome take on the addictive personality. Much to think about. I recommend it. Quick read and straight to the point.

[T. Laane · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of books address the addictions, but this so far is the only one that talks about the REAL root cause. It gave me a massive lens through which to see both addiction and my own personal journey.
ADDICTION DEFINED. Everyone wants to be happy and feel peace in their heart and soul, but those feelings are fleeting - no one controls them fully. Some people accept this and let happiness come and go, others try to cling to it, chasing “forever happy.” Addicts are those who chase a high, using substances or objects trying to control the emotional rollercoaster. Addiction is basically the wish to control happiness and mood cycles with outside fixes; but life doesn’t work that way.
ROOTS OF ADDICTION. Addictions (gambling, food, sex, TV), all have the same common denominator: the need to change mood, to kill the boredom. People with a history in one area (like five years of alcohol) are way more at risk to repeat that - addiction is about repeated patterns and deep-ingrained brain pathways.
AROUSAL VS SENSATION. There are different “types” of addictive highs. Arousal highs (think drugs, sex, gambling, stealing) bring a rush of power or invincibility - they let you feel untouchable, above pain. Sensation highs (alcohol, cannabis, comfort food, TV) bring numbness, relief. Both are fake substitutes for real connection or satisfaction, and always leave you emptier when the effect fades.
TRANCE AND ILLUSION. The addicted state is trance-like - a different reality that feels real at the time, but coming back (to the real reality) is always disappointing. Addicts believe they’re getting nurtured by their “object,” but it’s only relief, not real healing.
CYCLES AND CONTROL. Addiction develops quietly - often neither you nor those around you realize it until much later. Kicking one addiction often just shifts things to a new substitute, and it’s only with distance you can see how one “fix” got swapped for another. Addiction always wants to shift to the path of least resistance; you might “beat” one thing and seamlessly drift to the next. The process is sneaky - addiction is a continuous spectrum, always seeking to control feelings with something outside the real, unpredictable flow of life.
ADDICTION ISOLATES. Instead of getting nurture from people, community, or something bigger, addicts turn inward, isolating from actual human support. The more addiction, the harder it is to be close to others - and eventually they see people as objects to manipulate or use (just like their addiction). That logic can even turn inward: treating themselves as a thing to be exploited for maximum “output,” piling up stress and never feeling “enough.”
OBJECTS OVER PEOPLE. Addicts trust their objects first, people second. Objects always “deliver,” and objects never “fail” them - unlike humans sometimes do. The addicted person chases intensity - the very thought of the object brings a rush, because it is guaranteed to deliver the high. If it would be only 30% of the times, there would be no such pull. Like Pavlov’s dogs.
ADDICTION VS NATURAL RELATIONSHIPS. Healthy relationships - with family, friends, a higher power, yourself, or a community - are built on mutual care, meaning, and contribution (helping, being helped, real emotional awareness). Addicts lose this, getting their “importance” and “nurture” from a substance or activity. Spirituality is one antidote: if you can believe in something bigger, you’re less likely to squeeze out every drop from the present moment or treat life as a competition of needs. Learning to self-nurture and participate in community is key - contributing, sharing, giving and receiving support, even with people you barely know.
GIVE AND TAKE. In natural relationships with people, there’s genuine give and take. With an addictive object, there’s only taking - addiction is always one-sided.
ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY. Addiction isn’t something you’re born with - it develops over time, changing you. Once “addictive personality” takes root, it’s not about the object anymore: you just gain the “ability” to switch your addiction as needed. And, hauntingly, the addictive personality is for life - it never fully leaves, it just relocates.
CHILDHOOD AND FAMILY. If you grew up in a home without warmth or real connection, you’re much more at risk for addiction because you learned to fill loneliness with something. If your family treated people as objects, you start life with addictive logic embedded. True recovery isn’t returning to your old self - it’s creating a whole new one.
EMOTIONAL DISTORTION. Addiction begins when you abandon normal ways of meeting your needs and decide “I don’t need people, and I don’t have to face what I don’t want to.” The “fight” with addiction is the classic “don’t think about a pink elephant” - the more you try to win, the more you lose. The only way out is to surrender to the feelings you are trying to escape when turning to addictions. Accepting powerlessness is brutal - Addictive Personality wants perfection and control, not humanity and mess.
CONTROL AND CONSEQUENCES. The tragic irony: people turn to addictions when they are not happy with current state of relationships etc, yet every time binging on addictions (short-term satisfaction) destroys the relationships even more. The more you try to control, the less you have control.
SPLIT SELF. Addiction literally splits your psyche: the Self cares, but the Addictive Personality doesn’t care about you or others. When loved ones lash out at the Addictive Personality, the hurt lands on the Self, not the “bad habit” - and this deepens the inner split and everyone’s pain. No one hates the Addictive Personality more than the Self does. The inner voice promises relief, tells you to mistrust people, and teaches you to avoid facing real issues - it’s a master of temporary solutions, yet always creates long-term damage.
THE WHY OF RECOVERY. True recovery means building a renewed, meaningful relationship with yourself. Spirituality and a sense of purpose are crucial - if your work or life creates meaning on you, it can act as a stabilizer.
RITUALS AND PREDICTABILITY. Addictive rituals create predictability and a sense of safety - disrupting these rituals causes discomfort, but is necessary for change.

[Lisa J · Rating 4 out of 5]

The premise of The Addictive Personality is that there exist an addict and the self within the individual battling addiction. The self is the person before the addict is created as an internal coping mechanism for dealing with emotional pain. Eventually the addict takes over the self and the internal struggle begins as the self and the addict both want control of the body and mind. This conceptualization of addiction pairs well with the IFS (parts work) conceptualization. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants a better understanding of the process of addiction. It is not overly clinical which helps its readability to the general public. It seeks to explain or answer the question “How do people become addicts?” The writing and lay out of the book make it easy to read. It’s also really short which makes it a quick and convenient read. I don’t feel that the brevity reduced the quality of the information presented.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a required book for my License for Alcohol and Drug Counseling license.

The Addictive Personality has helped people understand the process of addiction with depth and dimension to understanding of how an individual becomes an addict. Going beyond the definition that limits dependency to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, and describes how the process is progressive.

Topics include but are not limited to: Genetic factors tied to addiction; Cultural influences on addictive behavior; The progressive nature of the disease; and Steps to a successful recovery.

Examine how addictions start, how society pushes people toward addiction, and what happens inside those who become addicted. This book has the potential to help anyone seeking a better understanding of the addictive process and its impact on their lives.

[JOANNA BRUNS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Effects on the Family

The last chapter, in particular, truly gave me insight on my family of origin and its effects in my life. The very first example in the section on "shaming families" was exactly my experience growing up! Further reading gave me a better understanding of myself as well as the things I need to continue to work on in recovery. I will also look for the recommended book mentioned within this section of the chapter. I definitely recommend this book for greater clarity of addiction and its effects on the individual and their families.

[Ralph N · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I’ve read on addiction yet. You’ll learn about the common denominator of all addictions - substance, sex, porn, overeating, gambling, et al. The author goes in more depth than any 12 step book about how addiction manifests and progresses in those affected.

Nakken then goes on to describe how society encourages addictive behaviors, and what type of genetics and family situations lead to addiction and other self destructive behaviors.

[Summer Keys · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. Just enough scientific information to make sense, but not overwhelm someone who's not scientific minded. During my time in rehab for 6 months, I had 1 book a week to read, and of all of them this was the best in helping me understand my addictive personality. How it will never leave me, and it'll always be stronger than me so it's useless trying to battle it, but it showed me how to talk to it, work with it and outsmart it.

[Karen Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Addictive Personality by Craig Nakken offered an interesting perspective on addiction, but ultimately not one that I found very helpful. A lot of it was based on the argument that addicts struggle to maintain healthy relationships, which I don't think is true in all cases, or at least not for all types of addictions. I'm addicted to sugar and sometimes shopping, but I didn't get as much insight as I'd hoped from this book.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the first sections, the author switches more freely between an organized system of addictive drives and experiences. I ended up listening to the audiobook fast to get a comprehensive overview of the main points. The style seemed clearer in the later sections and provided an insightful introduction to the dynamics of addictions in family systems. Short and worth the effort if you’re new to these issues.

[Nixie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good explanation of how the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection. Could've been less repetitive though. The parts about Higher Powers might rub some people the wrong way.
The beginning (setting up the mindset for thinking about addiction) and the chapter about pleasure-seekers and power-seekers vs "normal people" were of the most interest.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lays out so plainly, what nothing in the category of self-help has been able to quite capture, in its simplicity as being the end result from the suffering a loved ones illness to lifelong alcohol, nicotine, etc. overuse and abuse creates.
Then to be able to more confidently move forward by the beauty of understanding.

[Taylor Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be rather informative. I do not agree with many of the things in this book. However there are several important factors in the addictive Personality and behaviors in this book and it talks about how to overcome those and needing to find meaning and truth in one's self and be raw and completely honest.