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The Sound of Us
How many vows, made to God and your spouse, would you be willing to break for just one taste of the truest love you've ever known? For just one moment of tenderness?
'Till death do us part' is what Axel Davis promised his husband ten years ago, when he was only eighteen. Even now, his devotion to the marriage was unshakable, despite the bruises, the humiliation; the ever-present fear of the unlicensed gun that sits on the nightstand if he ever tried to leave.
But when a newcomer shows up in their small, forgotten town in Eastern Kentucky, Axel can't ignore the sound of his beating heart and the unspoken melody between them when he lays his eyes on Eli Saxon.
The war between fidelity and an inextinguishable passion escalates when Axel comes out of remission, and then he has to decide: how many vows will he break for Eli, a man who can neither hear nor speak, but whose touch is a language Axel's soul understands?
The Sound Of Us is a high-heat, emotional, small-town romance about the complex, painful journey of someone who vowed to always be faithful to his marriage, but who found that the desperation to be known by another had become unbearable.
Note from Jen: This book deals with infidelity without judgment - just the truth of it. (There is no cheating between the main characters). For my readers who might struggle with this, don't worry. I'll see you in the next one.
Please use the Look Inside feature for the full list of trigger warnings.
'Till death do us part' is what Axel Davis promised his husband ten years ago, when he was only eighteen. Even now, his devotion to the marriage was unshakable, despite the bruises, the humiliation; the ever-present fear of the unlicensed gun that sits on the nightstand if he ever tried to leave.
But when a newcomer shows up in their small, forgotten town in Eastern Kentucky, Axel can't ignore the sound of his beating heart and the unspoken melody between them when he lays his eyes on Eli Saxon.
The war between fidelity and an inextinguishable passion escalates when Axel comes out of remission, and then he has to decide: how many vows will he break for Eli, a man who can neither hear nor speak, but whose touch is a language Axel's soul understands?
The Sound Of Us is a high-heat, emotional, small-town romance about the complex, painful journey of someone who vowed to always be faithful to his marriage, but who found that the desperation to be known by another had become unbearable.
Note from Jen: This book deals with infidelity without judgment - just the truth of it. (There is no cheating between the main characters). For my readers who might struggle with this, don't worry. I'll see you in the next one.
Please use the Look Inside feature for the full list of trigger warnings.
406 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 17, 2023
201 people are currently reading
1283 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 171 reviews
April 6, 2023
A let down, this was. I knew this book was gonna rob my excitement after the first half. It’s always books with such great premise too. Sucks 😀
This dealt with such intense and sensitive topic. Axel struggles in an abusive relationship. I have no heart to write it down it’s quite harmful and heavy for me so read the content warnings. I loved the author for that, such detailed warnings and full of concern.
In my opinion, this story was more of a fucked up than painful.
It started so gloomy, with how he stayed in that relationship with that bullshit of a Frank. I honestly get Axel in some ways. Not all, but I understand why he did what he did. Everything he had to go through, I was feeling it with him. I had to stop a couple times in the beginning because the monologues were detailed and how heavy it was but it was all good. I couldn’t wait for it to get better.
Afterwards, the story gets a little excited when Axel and Eli came together (literally came together) and their story starts there. I can’t say all the gloomy was gone, but it didn’t feel as intense as before. I wanted to feel something, though :’)
Let’s talk about sex. I think I’ve spoken about sex in romance books so many times already. Excessive sex scenes is NOT for me in my queer romances. This book started so slowww that it gave me hope it wouldn’t be so porny until the end, but ofc that’s not what I get. It was sex alll the way. Until the end. At some point, I get it, it was some kind of “escapism” for Axel. But it was only for that scene. Otherwise, it was too much. At 90%, I had to brace myself, I was even praying in my head, “please dont be another sex scene, please, please please.” but nope. I was doomed, honestly. It was porny, and rushed compared to the loooong and slow first half. It felt like their dynamic falls into repetition of sex and lust. The cheating trope didn’t feel as intense or exciting either.
Therefore, their chemistry didn’t feel like it existed despite the sweet glances they shared, and the connection between them didn’t has the chance to grow and develop. Except their dicks, that grow all the time. My enjoyment also faded away. I was numb near the end. Had to skim the sex scenes.
A lot of author/bookish references were mentioned in this one. It gave me the ick.
This could be a memorable book but I had nothing to feel or thoughts to write while reading it. It had the potential to break me but I fell into boredom and a cycle of repetition instead. The writing was good and it gave me the gloomy vibes but nothing more that manage to suck my soul into the story.
This dealt with such intense and sensitive topic. Axel struggles in an abusive relationship. I have no heart to write it down it’s quite harmful and heavy for me so read the content warnings. I loved the author for that, such detailed warnings and full of concern.
In my opinion, this story was more of a fucked up than painful.
It started so gloomy, with how he stayed in that relationship with that bullshit of a Frank. I honestly get Axel in some ways. Not all, but I understand why he did what he did. Everything he had to go through, I was feeling it with him. I had to stop a couple times in the beginning because the monologues were detailed and how heavy it was but it was all good. I couldn’t wait for it to get better.
Afterwards, the story gets a little excited when Axel and Eli came together (literally came together) and their story starts there. I can’t say all the gloomy was gone, but it didn’t feel as intense as before. I wanted to feel something, though :’)
Let’s talk about sex. I think I’ve spoken about sex in romance books so many times already. Excessive sex scenes is NOT for me in my queer romances. This book started so slowww that it gave me hope it wouldn’t be so porny until the end, but ofc that’s not what I get. It was sex alll the way. Until the end. At some point, I get it, it was some kind of “escapism” for Axel. But it was only for that scene. Otherwise, it was too much. At 90%, I had to brace myself, I was even praying in my head, “please dont be another sex scene, please, please please.” but nope. I was doomed, honestly. It was porny, and rushed compared to the loooong and slow first half. It felt like their dynamic falls into repetition of sex and lust. The cheating trope didn’t feel as intense or exciting either.
Therefore, their chemistry didn’t feel like it existed despite the sweet glances they shared, and the connection between them didn’t has the chance to grow and develop. Except their dicks, that grow all the time. My enjoyment also faded away. I was numb near the end. Had to skim the sex scenes.
A lot of author/bookish references were mentioned in this one. It gave me the ick.
This could be a memorable book but I had nothing to feel or thoughts to write while reading it. It had the potential to break me but I fell into boredom and a cycle of repetition instead. The writing was good and it gave me the gloomy vibes but nothing more that manage to suck my soul into the story.
March 19, 2023
Holy shit that was tough! While I knew it was going to be rough, I didn’t anticipate how melancholy I would feel at the end. Life isn’t always tied up neatly with a red bow. Sometimes the bad guy gets away. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. This just read so real.
How do you put into words the connection between Axel and Eli? I just don’t know that I can do them justice. Eli showed Axel a world he never dreamed could exist for him. Axel gave Eli music when he couldn’t hear. A love they never knew existed was their destiny.
If you’re a sensitive soul, this one might be too much. Domestic abuse happens throughout the book. There is also on page sexual assault. The abuse is crushing, as is the abuser, Frank. He was utterly worthless. He was a gaslighting, narcissistic, insecure pencil dick of a man.
I think the thing that got me more than anything was how Axel and Eli were able to communicate with virtually no words. Due to a childhood illness that cause complete hearing loss, Eli had become adept at reading lips and body language (he did know ASL.) He was able to pick up on non verbal cues, but with a simple look he and Axel just knew. The way Eli knew how to care for Axel and what he would need without asking gave me tingles. There was this inherent sensuality to their touching and embracing. They were just so in tune with each other. There was no shame or fear. Just love and acceptance.
I do want to call out how Eli truly cared for Axel. Axel was so accustomed to being treated with such violence that when Eli wanted to do something as simple as feed him - Axel thought it strange but realized that was how Eli was caring for him. He was being gentle and kind. Axel had no concept of being loved so softly. There were numerous instances of this throughout the book. It was beautiful.
I want to write a million things!! Ultimately Axel and Eli filled my soul and also broke my heart. This is not a story to take lightly.
TW: please make sure to read these before continuing and/or rating the book.
How do you put into words the connection between Axel and Eli? I just don’t know that I can do them justice. Eli showed Axel a world he never dreamed could exist for him. Axel gave Eli music when he couldn’t hear. A love they never knew existed was their destiny.
If you’re a sensitive soul, this one might be too much. Domestic abuse happens throughout the book. There is also on page sexual assault. The abuse is crushing, as is the abuser, Frank. He was utterly worthless. He was a gaslighting, narcissistic, insecure pencil dick of a man.
I think the thing that got me more than anything was how Axel and Eli were able to communicate with virtually no words. Due to a childhood illness that cause complete hearing loss, Eli had become adept at reading lips and body language (he did know ASL.) He was able to pick up on non verbal cues, but with a simple look he and Axel just knew. The way Eli knew how to care for Axel and what he would need without asking gave me tingles. There was this inherent sensuality to their touching and embracing. They were just so in tune with each other. There was no shame or fear. Just love and acceptance.
I do want to call out how Eli truly cared for Axel. Axel was so accustomed to being treated with such violence that when Eli wanted to do something as simple as feed him - Axel thought it strange but realized that was how Eli was caring for him. He was being gentle and kind. Axel had no concept of being loved so softly. There were numerous instances of this throughout the book. It was beautiful.
I want to write a million things!! Ultimately Axel and Eli filled my soul and also broke my heart. This is not a story to take lightly.
TW: please make sure to read these before continuing and/or rating the book.
August 23, 2023
Note after rereading:
This is undeniably beautiful, painful and left me feeling raw. I can feel this book in my bones. Jen Samson you are incredibly talented. This reread, I felt Axel pain in a different way, as if it was my own. Amazing job handling these heavy topics.
“We are sound and silence and when we are together like this, those two things are the same.”
The Sound Of Us by Jen Samson was beautifully displayed. This power house was emotional, traumatizing and at times overwhelmingly sad. I was torn with mixed feelings throughout the story but it came together in the end.
This book has a long list of trigger warnings, please make sure you read them before starting this. Don’t blame an author because you didn’t take the time to read the warnings that were provided for you.
The Sound of Us is suppose to be a dark romance but I didn’t perceive it that way, maybe I’ve become numb to it with as much as I read. Don’t get me wrong, there were times I wanted to murder Frank, but I’m sure everyone felt that. It was more traumatizing than anything else.
I also don’t really consider what Axel did as cheating. Frank forced and tricked him into marriage in the first place. Axel was only 18 and he was sick with cancer, he also had no family left. His mom had died from an overdose. Frank assaulted Axel while he was sleeping and used that against him, to get him to agree to marriage in the first place because of Axel’s religious beliefs. Then, Frank abused Axel throughout the course of their marriage, in every way possible. He went as far and to rape and beat him with a gun, so no Axel didn’t cheat in my eyes. Their marriage was over the first time he beat him. Plus it was insinuated that Frank cheated first, but no proof was ever given. Not that you need it, Frank was a narcissistic, gaslighting, controlling, skin-crawling, garbage of a sorry excuse for a human and that’s putting it nicely.
Eli comes to River Valley after the passing of his father, to restore the house his dad grew up in. They were supposed to renovate it together, but his father passed away unexpectedly. So he decided to fulfill his father’s wishes and bring the house, he grew up in, back to life.
Eli and Axel meet as he is coming into town and Axel’s dog Pepper gets out and chases his car. Eli has been deaf since the age of five, as a result from getting bacterial meningitis. The whole town decides to start learning sign language, so they can better communicate with him.
Axel and Eli don’t fall fast into each other but gradually overtime. Their attraction for one another was instant but they don’t act on it at first. Their love story started beautifully and was whimsical. Eli helps him and embraces Axel through his pain. After not being loved, Axel is hesitant and suspicious of Eli’s intentions at first(So was I, just so we’re clear). Turns out Eli was a beautiful soul who truly wanted to help him shoulder his burdens and get him safely away from Frank, he wanted to protect and provide for Axel. Eli is so accepting of who Axel is as a person and understands him on a level that no one else ever has.
The characters in this were so well written. I just love Mrs. Dalton and Ben, God everyone deserves a best friend like Ben in their life. One that will provide you with the hard truths and help you no matter the circumstances or outcome.
Please write Ben a book of his own!!!
This book will not be for everyone and not everyone is going to like it. It discusses some very sensitive topics. The trauma Axel experienced was vast and overwhelming at times. Jen Samson did a good job of warning readers of what to expect, so it's vital to keep that in mind while reading this.
As always here is the list of trigger warnings.
TW:
Graphic on-page domestic abuse (verbal/physical/emotional/psychological), Suicidal ideations, Sexual assault (between MC and abusive spouse), Grief, Death(talks of parents passing, one by overdose), substance-abuse, Narcissistic behavior patterns, Life-threatening illness(Cancer), Cheating (MC cheats on abusive spouse), Rape (The end of Chapter 49 / between MC and abusive spouse / about 20 lines / not gratuitous but descriptive enough to cause discomfort.
This is undeniably beautiful, painful and left me feeling raw. I can feel this book in my bones. Jen Samson you are incredibly talented. This reread, I felt Axel pain in a different way, as if it was my own. Amazing job handling these heavy topics.
“We are sound and silence and when we are together like this, those two things are the same.”
The Sound Of Us by Jen Samson was beautifully displayed. This power house was emotional, traumatizing and at times overwhelmingly sad. I was torn with mixed feelings throughout the story but it came together in the end.
This book has a long list of trigger warnings, please make sure you read them before starting this. Don’t blame an author because you didn’t take the time to read the warnings that were provided for you.
The Sound of Us is suppose to be a dark romance but I didn’t perceive it that way, maybe I’ve become numb to it with as much as I read. Don’t get me wrong, there were times I wanted to murder Frank, but I’m sure everyone felt that. It was more traumatizing than anything else.
I also don’t really consider what Axel did as cheating. Frank forced and tricked him into marriage in the first place. Axel was only 18 and he was sick with cancer, he also had no family left. His mom had died from an overdose. Frank assaulted Axel while he was sleeping and used that against him, to get him to agree to marriage in the first place because of Axel’s religious beliefs. Then, Frank abused Axel throughout the course of their marriage, in every way possible. He went as far and to rape and beat him with a gun, so no Axel didn’t cheat in my eyes. Their marriage was over the first time he beat him. Plus it was insinuated that Frank cheated first, but no proof was ever given. Not that you need it, Frank was a narcissistic, gaslighting, controlling, skin-crawling, garbage of a sorry excuse for a human and that’s putting it nicely.
Eli comes to River Valley after the passing of his father, to restore the house his dad grew up in. They were supposed to renovate it together, but his father passed away unexpectedly. So he decided to fulfill his father’s wishes and bring the house, he grew up in, back to life.
Eli and Axel meet as he is coming into town and Axel’s dog Pepper gets out and chases his car. Eli has been deaf since the age of five, as a result from getting bacterial meningitis. The whole town decides to start learning sign language, so they can better communicate with him.
Axel and Eli don’t fall fast into each other but gradually overtime. Their attraction for one another was instant but they don’t act on it at first. Their love story started beautifully and was whimsical. Eli helps him and embraces Axel through his pain. After not being loved, Axel is hesitant and suspicious of Eli’s intentions at first(So was I, just so we’re clear). Turns out Eli was a beautiful soul who truly wanted to help him shoulder his burdens and get him safely away from Frank, he wanted to protect and provide for Axel. Eli is so accepting of who Axel is as a person and understands him on a level that no one else ever has.
The characters in this were so well written. I just love Mrs. Dalton and Ben, God everyone deserves a best friend like Ben in their life. One that will provide you with the hard truths and help you no matter the circumstances or outcome.
Please write Ben a book of his own!!!
This book will not be for everyone and not everyone is going to like it. It discusses some very sensitive topics. The trauma Axel experienced was vast and overwhelming at times. Jen Samson did a good job of warning readers of what to expect, so it's vital to keep that in mind while reading this.
As always here is the list of trigger warnings.
TW:
Graphic on-page domestic abuse (verbal/physical/emotional/psychological), Suicidal ideations, Sexual assault (between MC and abusive spouse), Grief, Death(talks of parents passing, one by overdose), substance-abuse, Narcissistic behavior patterns, Life-threatening illness(Cancer), Cheating (MC cheats on abusive spouse), Rape (The end of Chapter 49 / between MC and abusive spouse / about 20 lines / not gratuitous but descriptive enough to cause discomfort.
July 12, 2023
The premise of this is that one character is in a very, VERY, abusive relationship and the new neighbor is the reason why he leaves, or the one that gives him strength to get out of it...
Well, the neighbor was equally toxic, he pushed, he was meddling and he got between the dude and the abuser in a conversation, a bad conversation, but it hadn't grown into an argument.. It gave me so much anxiety, that's something you don't do, even if you know what's behind close doors you don't do that!!! Yes, it was gonna end up in a fight, but you made it worse.
No it's not fair! But that's not what you doooo!
It will make it worse!!!
So that's where I DNF this. I tried... 💅🏻 It's this the last time I'm gonna grab a book because of it's cover? Noppppe.
Well, the neighbor was equally toxic, he pushed, he was meddling and he got between the dude and the abuser in a conversation, a bad conversation, but it hadn't grown into an argument.. It gave me so much anxiety, that's something you don't do, even if you know what's behind close doors you don't do that!!! Yes, it was gonna end up in a fight, but you made it worse.
No it's not fair! But that's not what you doooo!
It will make it worse!!!
So that's where I DNF this. I tried... 💅🏻 It's this the last time I'm gonna grab a book because of it's cover? Noppppe.
March 22, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️
This is a story primarily about Axel and his life with his god awful husband Frank. Frank is what you call an abusive narcissist, plus there’s some other underlying mental health issues that we don’t get too far into.
If this book doesn’t piss you off you probably are an abusive narcissist. Sorry, not sorry. Because this is the perfect portrayal of how bad domestic abuse can get.
Obviously we need a shining light in order to survive this whole ordeal. Enter Eli to the rescue. It doesn’t take too many interactions of stolen glances and secret longing before these two fall into hedonistic cheating bliss. But really? Who could blame Axel? And if you can blame Axel, once again, you’re probably an abusive narcissist.
The writer does a good job keeping you on the edge of your seat. Hell, I’d go so far as to say she’s got you in a chokehold and gives you just enough room so she can yank you back in at a moment’s notice.
This isn’t an easy read but it wasn’t too difficult to make you feel miserable because there was plenty of light at the end of the tunnel. Just be prepared to go in and out of that light, like a switch in reach of a spastic toddler.
I will say, it felt a little too drawn out after the 75% mark, but that’s my taste.
🌶️🌶️🌶️
This is a story primarily about Axel and his life with his god awful husband Frank. Frank is what you call an abusive narcissist, plus there’s some other underlying mental health issues that we don’t get too far into.
If this book doesn’t piss you off you probably are an abusive narcissist. Sorry, not sorry. Because this is the perfect portrayal of how bad domestic abuse can get.
Obviously we need a shining light in order to survive this whole ordeal. Enter Eli to the rescue. It doesn’t take too many interactions of stolen glances and secret longing before these two fall into hedonistic cheating bliss. But really? Who could blame Axel? And if you can blame Axel, once again, you’re probably an abusive narcissist.
The writer does a good job keeping you on the edge of your seat. Hell, I’d go so far as to say she’s got you in a chokehold and gives you just enough room so she can yank you back in at a moment’s notice.
This isn’t an easy read but it wasn’t too difficult to make you feel miserable because there was plenty of light at the end of the tunnel. Just be prepared to go in and out of that light, like a switch in reach of a spastic toddler.
I will say, it felt a little too drawn out after the 75% mark, but that’s my taste.
July 29, 2023
***PLEASE Check Trigger Warnings***
Oh, Axel and Eli. Both of you and your sweet souls. I will never forget your story!
This book left me speechless with all the feels. I smiled, laughed, cried (a handful of times), and got pissed ( a lot from a specific asshole). Axel is such an innocent soul who is just trying to survive. Eli is a beautiful soul who just comes into town not knowing what is about to happen. I literally just love them. And as for Frank, you deserve a big 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼.
I am not even sure how to write this review because I don't want to give out spoilers. Just know this is an all time favorite and top read of 2023! If you are wanting to read this, put it at the top of your TBR!
This is my first ever book from Jen. Let me tell you, it will NOT be my last. If you see this review Jen, the way you write is simply stunning. You have a beautiful way with words. I was so captivated by your writing and Axel and Eli's story! Thank you for writing such an amazing story 💙
Oh, Axel and Eli. Both of you and your sweet souls. I will never forget your story!
This book left me speechless with all the feels. I smiled, laughed, cried (a handful of times), and got pissed ( a lot from a specific asshole). Axel is such an innocent soul who is just trying to survive. Eli is a beautiful soul who just comes into town not knowing what is about to happen. I literally just love them. And as for Frank, you deserve a big 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼.
I am not even sure how to write this review because I don't want to give out spoilers. Just know this is an all time favorite and top read of 2023! If you are wanting to read this, put it at the top of your TBR!
This is my first ever book from Jen. Let me tell you, it will NOT be my last. If you see this review Jen, the way you write is simply stunning. You have a beautiful way with words. I was so captivated by your writing and Axel and Eli's story! Thank you for writing such an amazing story 💙
March 21, 2023
DNF @ 42%.
I didn’t expect this book to be as easy read, as TBR topics are heavy ones and some hit a bit close to home. But it wasn’t the themes of the book that made this a hard read, but the execution of it.
The dedication and the foreword was like a one-two punch to the gut. Unfortunately, those evoked more emotion than the story did.
Aside from the first meet on the roadside and the second down by the lake, the bulk of Axel and Eli getting to know each other happens off page. We are told about how their time together becomes routine. I would have liked to see it. Maybe if I had, by the time they started their relationship, I would have felt some inkling of a connection. And maybe I would have liked Eli.
Because I don’t like Eli.
I think it’s pretty manipulative to use Pepper to lure Axel to Eli’s house. You’re feeding a man’s dog treats, hoping that dog will stray over to your yard while searching for Pepper. You think maybe a man who has spend a decade being manipulated probably doesn’t need more manipulation? And then Eli purposefully antagonizing his lover’s abusive husband. Does he really think he is the purpose who would have to suffer the consequences of that?
I am really interested in Axel getting his HEA, but I don’t want it to be dependent on Eli. And unfortunately, that’s the vibe I’m getting. I don’t want Eli to save Axel. I want Axel to save Axel. Preferably without Eli along for the ride.
I didn’t like how Pepper was treated like a prop. She is the mechanism of Axel and Eli meeting (and no, Axel, you wouldn’t typically allow a dog to chase cars, wtf?!). She is used by Eli to lure Axel. She is there when it suits the author’s needs, and ignored when not… to the point that Axel purposely ignores the dog so he can get his dick wet.
Speaking of dicks, what is with the focus on penis size? Frank’s is small. Axel’s is huge and everyone like to talk about how big his dick is. I don’t get it.
As for the writing… it was hard to get into. The constant breaking of the fourth wall tripped me up. The mentions of Garry Michael, his book All the Battles We Surrender, C.P. Harris, and bookstagramer (is that a word?) JamieReadsRomance was a huge turn off. I’m not reading fiction to have real people, as some plug or homage, constantly thrown at me.
I didn’t expect this book to be as easy read, as TBR topics are heavy ones and some hit a bit close to home. But it wasn’t the themes of the book that made this a hard read, but the execution of it.
The dedication and the foreword was like a one-two punch to the gut. Unfortunately, those evoked more emotion than the story did.
Aside from the first meet on the roadside and the second down by the lake, the bulk of Axel and Eli getting to know each other happens off page. We are told about how their time together becomes routine. I would have liked to see it. Maybe if I had, by the time they started their relationship, I would have felt some inkling of a connection. And maybe I would have liked Eli.
Because I don’t like Eli.
I think it’s pretty manipulative to use Pepper to lure Axel to Eli’s house. You’re feeding a man’s dog treats, hoping that dog will stray over to your yard while searching for Pepper. You think maybe a man who has spend a decade being manipulated probably doesn’t need more manipulation? And then Eli purposefully antagonizing his lover’s abusive husband. Does he really think he is the purpose who would have to suffer the consequences of that?
I am really interested in Axel getting his HEA, but I don’t want it to be dependent on Eli. And unfortunately, that’s the vibe I’m getting. I don’t want Eli to save Axel. I want Axel to save Axel. Preferably without Eli along for the ride.
I didn’t like how Pepper was treated like a prop. She is the mechanism of Axel and Eli meeting (and no, Axel, you wouldn’t typically allow a dog to chase cars, wtf?!). She is used by Eli to lure Axel. She is there when it suits the author’s needs, and ignored when not… to the point that Axel purposely ignores the dog so he can get his dick wet.
Speaking of dicks, what is with the focus on penis size? Frank’s is small. Axel’s is huge and everyone like to talk about how big his dick is. I don’t get it.
As for the writing… it was hard to get into. The constant breaking of the fourth wall tripped me up. The mentions of Garry Michael, his book All the Battles We Surrender, C.P. Harris, and bookstagramer (is that a word?) JamieReadsRomance was a huge turn off. I’m not reading fiction to have real people, as some plug or homage, constantly thrown at me.
May 14, 2023
I read The Sound of Us a while back and it took me until now to write a review because whenever I do, the feeling of melancholy and hope, (This is a romance after all) hit me like a train. A mark of a well-written and meticulously constructed story. Who knew how much one could convey in silence.
This Sound of Us dealt with so many heart-wrenching realities, but the story didn’t overshadow the undeniable love and connection Axel and Eli have. Eli is as pure as they come, one that I can only aspire to. And Axel, how much should one man should endure? The bad cards he was dealt seemed never-ending!
Please check the trigger warning before diving into this book. It’s not an easy story to experience, but all the tears and heartache are worth it!
I’ll end this review by saying that it made me value the importance of ‘Right now’. It’s the present that matters.
This Sound of Us dealt with so many heart-wrenching realities, but the story didn’t overshadow the undeniable love and connection Axel and Eli have. Eli is as pure as they come, one that I can only aspire to. And Axel, how much should one man should endure? The bad cards he was dealt seemed never-ending!
Please check the trigger warning before diving into this book. It’s not an easy story to experience, but all the tears and heartache are worth it!
I’ll end this review by saying that it made me value the importance of ‘Right now’. It’s the present that matters.
April 23, 2023
Wrecked….. please, please read the TW before reading this! Everything is described in a very painful detailed way. So please take precautions.
This is the most violent book I’ve read… I felt the need to numb myself for most of the book to get through…
How can someone survive that level of abuse? It’s beyond me… at the beginning, I was feeling dubious about this because I couldn’t imagine a world where someone could be so bad and say the most horrible things to another person… But then I remember that we are humans, and humans are the most horrible species in this world.
I love Axel who is just an adorable human with so many lairs of pain, suffering, and need… I sometimes felt some gratuity in all he goes through… I so glad that in the hell he lived, he found that incredible, beautiful soul that is Eli.
The little treasures in this book are Eli touching Axel’s throat to feel his sounds and moans, him touching the piano and staying barefoot to feel the vibrations of the sounds… the way he puts Axel first, his concern and protection… the black panties🖤🥹
I usually find that this kind of intensity in 6 months is a bit insta for me… but in this, I think it was too long… I just wanted Axel out of that toxic town and disgusting husband…
Their kissing and lovemaking are so special and needed… it was how they communicated their attraction, their falling in love, their need for this one good thing in their lives.
That ending was… I still don’t know… but in this story it was perfect and a lesson that we should live every day to the maximum! Don’t waste time looking back, focus on the today!
Bonus points for some of the most incredible secondary characters Pepper 💛,Mrs Dalton and Ben. True friends ❤️
Like I said I numb up for 95% and than cried for the last 5% like a baby… because this was one difficult book book to read…
The missing ⭐️ is because of some cringe moments that I find hard to believe.
The fact that town is so open to gay marriage, and couples as long as they stay faithful…. This was just utopian and it sounded like a damn crazy cult people stuff… They are all addicted to painkillers… ok…. Weird….
Axel obsession with religion and vows even before is sickness… and the reason he married that piece of human trash… sounds strange…
The other 4 ⭐️stars goes to Axel and Eli founding each other and that Igot to read their story.
This is the most violent book I’ve read… I felt the need to numb myself for most of the book to get through…
How can someone survive that level of abuse? It’s beyond me… at the beginning, I was feeling dubious about this because I couldn’t imagine a world where someone could be so bad and say the most horrible things to another person… But then I remember that we are humans, and humans are the most horrible species in this world.
I love Axel who is just an adorable human with so many lairs of pain, suffering, and need… I sometimes felt some gratuity in all he goes through… I so glad that in the hell he lived, he found that incredible, beautiful soul that is Eli.
The little treasures in this book are Eli touching Axel’s throat to feel his sounds and moans, him touching the piano and staying barefoot to feel the vibrations of the sounds… the way he puts Axel first, his concern and protection… the black panties🖤🥹
I usually find that this kind of intensity in 6 months is a bit insta for me… but in this, I think it was too long… I just wanted Axel out of that toxic town and disgusting husband…
Their kissing and lovemaking are so special and needed… it was how they communicated their attraction, their falling in love, their need for this one good thing in their lives.
That ending was… I still don’t know… but in this story it was perfect and a lesson that we should live every day to the maximum! Don’t waste time looking back, focus on the today!
Bonus points for some of the most incredible secondary characters Pepper 💛,Mrs Dalton and Ben. True friends ❤️
Like I said I numb up for 95% and than cried for the last 5% like a baby… because this was one difficult book book to read…
The missing ⭐️ is because of some cringe moments that I find hard to believe.
The fact that town is so open to gay marriage, and couples as long as they stay faithful…. This was just utopian and it sounded like a damn crazy cult people stuff… They are all addicted to painkillers… ok…. Weird….
Axel obsession with religion and vows even before is sickness… and the reason he married that piece of human trash… sounds strange…
The other 4 ⭐️stars goes to Axel and Eli founding each other and that Igot to read their story.
July 12, 2023
I’m calling this a miss for me. It bums me out because it appeared to tick a lot of my boxes for what I like in a romance. Unfortunately, this is very poorly executed. I have my suspicions that it was never proofread properly. It’s been my experience that most book errors happen in the last 25%. I can’t claim that with this book since I am calling it quits only 25% in.
I found the writing to be very juvenile with a lot of repetitive words and simple sentences (at times not even making sense). Using words in multiple sentences in a row like hit, hit, hit, or sweats (as in sweatpants), was tedious. Word variations are your friends. Hit, slapped, assaulted. There are many ways to make a story more polished and interesting. I also noticed a lot of grammatical errors, hair color changes, and a familial error. If your father has a cousin, that person is also your cousin. They don’t magically become your aunt.
All the book pimping of other author’s books was weird. Also, all the bookstagrammer mentions. I’ve never read this in any other book. It came off as creepy. That’s probably random to mention those things, but they really stuck out to me.
Being in Axel’s head was like being in the head of a 15 year old with ADHD as he chased thoughts as if they were squirrels. Trust me, I’m familiar with what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those thoughts. You’d never have guess this man was actually 28 years old.
I’m going to cut and copy the content warnings below:
▪️Graphic on page abuse (verbal/physical/emotional/ psychological)
▪️Suicidal ideation Sexual assault (between MC and abusive spouse)
▪️Grief
▪️Narcissistic behavior patterns
▪️Life-threatening illness
▪️Cheating (MC cheats on abusive spouse)
▪️Rape (The end of Chapter 49 / between MC and abusive spouse / about 20 lines / not gratuitous but descriptive enough to cause discomfort. Please take care.)
Kudos for the author for trying to tackle so many tough subjects. Unfortunately, the writing was subpar and I am scratching my head at the high reviews.
I found the writing to be very juvenile with a lot of repetitive words and simple sentences (at times not even making sense). Using words in multiple sentences in a row like hit, hit, hit, or sweats (as in sweatpants), was tedious. Word variations are your friends. Hit, slapped, assaulted. There are many ways to make a story more polished and interesting. I also noticed a lot of grammatical errors, hair color changes, and a familial error. If your father has a cousin, that person is also your cousin. They don’t magically become your aunt.
All the book pimping of other author’s books was weird. Also, all the bookstagrammer mentions. I’ve never read this in any other book. It came off as creepy. That’s probably random to mention those things, but they really stuck out to me.
Being in Axel’s head was like being in the head of a 15 year old with ADHD as he chased thoughts as if they were squirrels. Trust me, I’m familiar with what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those thoughts. You’d never have guess this man was actually 28 years old.
I’m going to cut and copy the content warnings below:
▪️Graphic on page abuse (verbal/physical/emotional/ psychological)
▪️Suicidal ideation Sexual assault (between MC and abusive spouse)
▪️Grief
▪️Narcissistic behavior patterns
▪️Life-threatening illness
▪️Cheating (MC cheats on abusive spouse)
▪️Rape (The end of Chapter 49 / between MC and abusive spouse / about 20 lines / not gratuitous but descriptive enough to cause discomfort. Please take care.)
Kudos for the author for trying to tackle so many tough subjects. Unfortunately, the writing was subpar and I am scratching my head at the high reviews.
October 17, 2025
Reread - love Jen Samson 🥰
March 15, 2023
This is a beautiful love story between Axel and Eli…but it doesn’t start of that way. In the beginning we meet Axel who is in an abusive relationship with his husband Frank. They have been together for 10 years since Axel’s mum died and he discovered he had cancer. They live in a town where everyone is religious, do everything together and love Frank (or the kind loving person he pretends to be in the open). Axel also has a therapy dog his next door neighbour gave him when she realised what Frank was dog to him behind closed doors.
Eli is deaf after an illness when he was 5. He comes to the town to fix up his aunt’s house after his father’s death. Axel realises he’s different from the moment he drives into town with a piano on his truck. As they get to know each other at town gatherings and sign language class in the local bookstore where Eli works, they become closer. It’s a breath of fresh air for Axel to experience love, attraction and kindness from Eli when all he gets from Frank is drunk nights, verbal and physical abuse.
The secondary characters are a great addition especially Mrs D and Axel’s best friend they make his painful life bearable. The way the author describes the abuse and the struggles Axel has is well done. Whilst there is cheating, it’s it gives Axel 5he strength he needs to get out of the abusive relationship before it or his illness kills him.
I thought Eli was an amazing, caring man who had also suffered but is so good with Axel and helping him to be free and giving him to experience what real love should be like.
I really enjoyed reading this and would definitely recommend reading.
Trigger warnings: abusive relationship and cheating
Eli is deaf after an illness when he was 5. He comes to the town to fix up his aunt’s house after his father’s death. Axel realises he’s different from the moment he drives into town with a piano on his truck. As they get to know each other at town gatherings and sign language class in the local bookstore where Eli works, they become closer. It’s a breath of fresh air for Axel to experience love, attraction and kindness from Eli when all he gets from Frank is drunk nights, verbal and physical abuse.
The secondary characters are a great addition especially Mrs D and Axel’s best friend they make his painful life bearable. The way the author describes the abuse and the struggles Axel has is well done. Whilst there is cheating, it’s it gives Axel 5he strength he needs to get out of the abusive relationship before it or his illness kills him.
I thought Eli was an amazing, caring man who had also suffered but is so good with Axel and helping him to be free and giving him to experience what real love should be like.
I really enjoyed reading this and would definitely recommend reading.
Trigger warnings: abusive relationship and cheating
April 23, 2023
Five stars seems like such an inadequate number for such a great book.
So instead, I’ll tell you that The Sound of Us is a stunning book in all it’s understated devastation.
I’ll tell you that this is a book which I will carry with me always but it is a weight that I’m happy to carry. Because it is a weight that makes me feel lighter because in the Sound of Us I felt seen, heard and validated.
I’ll tell you that I feel your pain Axel and just know that it was never your fault. You did nothing wrong to deserve what happened to you.
I’ll tell you Eli that you are the sum of everything which a decent human being is. And that if we as parents show our children love, they will grow up to be nurturing and emphatic adults.
I’ll tell you that happiness doesn’t live in the past or in the future. It lies in the here and now and in the sum of all those little moments where we connect with others in a gentle and respectful way. Stop chasing that abstract HEA when it is yours to take here and now.
I’ll tell you that abuse is often inhereted through generations of toxic behaviour but that this circle of anger, violence and destruction can be broken.
I’ll tell you that men are not always the abuser. It is a problem which is a parasite in our society and it effects us all.
I’ll tell you Axel that I wish for you to live until you are done with this world, but even if you live only today, then I know that you will be content because you will have spent it with Eli.
I’ll tell you Jen that you are a brilliant voice in MM and don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
And finally, and these are the words of a unanimous jury: Fuck you, Frank! You will not be getting a Christmas card. Right @kmlreads ?
All the feels equal all the stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
If you only read one book this year, then read The Sound of Us. Like Perfume Genius sings: rocking you to sleep from the Otherside. That’s the greatest gift we can give someone in pain 💙🙏🏻
*be mindful of triggers - extensive TWs provided by the author
March 20, 2023
This is such beautiful, stunning and all consuming book. Jen you did a phenomenal job, even tho my heart was heavy during most of it ❤️🩹
You’ll want to read this book!
Sometimes it easy to write a review and sometimes, like now, it is not. This is so much and the emotional rollercoaster, the angst, the things Axel suffers thrugh at the hands at his abuser is just heart breaking.
Axel is such a likeable and sweet charter, he will live with you for a long time. His he beautiful with longish curly hair. He loves his hair due losing it when he first went through chemo for his cancer at only 18. He lives in a small town with his husband Frank (Fucking Frank 🤬) of 10 years and has been reduced to a life of abusive rutines (No Lube Friday) and is undermined and gaslight to the extreme.
“I guess I can admit I get a little jealous sometimes. You’re so young and beautiful. And here I am, pushing fifty, almost.” “You’re only forty-three, Frank,” I say softly, hoping he’ll drop this ridiculous plan. He laughs. “That’s a long way away from twenty-eight.” “I won’t even see forty, so count it as a blessing.” Frank sighs. “Fuck, Axel. Do you have to turn everything around and make it about you? So you had cancer. No need to bring it up when I’m sharing my feelings with you. Fuck, you’re so inconsiderate.” “Sorry, Frank.”
The town itself has this very small town vibe where everyone comes together, and also accepts "The Gays" but still has judgment over everyone. Frank and his buddies always well liked in town, but no one sees how he treats Axel behind closed door. Only Ben, Axels best friend and his elderly neighbour know how Frank treats him. They always tell Axel to get out and go live somewhere else.
When Eli, the handsome and deaf new guy in town moves in around the bend, they have an immediate connection and Eli becomes Axels safe heaven whenever he flees his house when Frank with his buddies drunk and mean. He and his support golden retriever Pepper sit by the lake and read close to Eli's house.
Pepper is a traitor because she falls in love with Eli instantly. The conversations between Axel and his traitor dog will have you smiling from ear to ear - That mother fucker :)
A secrete affair starts between Axel and Eli. Their connection and passion for each other is out of this world, sweet and all consuming and eventually Eli ends up rescuing sweet Axel.
But not before we take an emotional ride though the on page abuse, the gaslighting and the sneaking around behind Franks back, in order to get to the rescuing part.
"He takes my hand in his. Then he signs and I understand him perfectly. “You are mine.” My eyes flick up to fuse with his and then, without meaning to, they drop to his lips. Even though he can’t hear my response the way I can, I need to hear myself say it, even if it’s barely a whisper. “Yes.” He signs again. “You belong to me.” Again, without hesitation, I answer. “I belong to you.”"
I not only loved this book, I am putting it in my top MM romance novels of the year!. It's exactly the kind of books I love with beautifully developed charters and a gripping storyline that breaks your heart 💔 as well and gives you hope. Not an easy read Cancer is at the forefront when Axel relapses but so worth it! ❤️
You can read all of my 72 highlights and fall in love with the writing yourself and get a feel for what you are in for. Please go into this knowing what you are about to read and rate, because Jen deserves all the stars for this stunning book ⭐️
"I’ve relapsed. My cancer came back. I must start treatment immediately. I may not make it this time. I don’t know how long, but I’m not expected to live past my mid-thirties. I am now twenty-eight."
"I know I stole my happiness, but if you had been loved the way Eli loved me, maybe you’d have stolen yours too, because after Eli loved me, I lived. I lived. I was dying, but I was also the most alive I had ever been. I am grateful for every breath I’ve been given since I was diagnosed when I was eighteen"
You’ll want to read this book!
Sometimes it easy to write a review and sometimes, like now, it is not. This is so much and the emotional rollercoaster, the angst, the things Axel suffers thrugh at the hands at his abuser is just heart breaking.
Axel is such a likeable and sweet charter, he will live with you for a long time. His he beautiful with longish curly hair. He loves his hair due losing it when he first went through chemo for his cancer at only 18. He lives in a small town with his husband Frank (Fucking Frank 🤬) of 10 years and has been reduced to a life of abusive rutines (No Lube Friday) and is undermined and gaslight to the extreme.
“I guess I can admit I get a little jealous sometimes. You’re so young and beautiful. And here I am, pushing fifty, almost.” “You’re only forty-three, Frank,” I say softly, hoping he’ll drop this ridiculous plan. He laughs. “That’s a long way away from twenty-eight.” “I won’t even see forty, so count it as a blessing.” Frank sighs. “Fuck, Axel. Do you have to turn everything around and make it about you? So you had cancer. No need to bring it up when I’m sharing my feelings with you. Fuck, you’re so inconsiderate.” “Sorry, Frank.”
The town itself has this very small town vibe where everyone comes together, and also accepts "The Gays" but still has judgment over everyone. Frank and his buddies always well liked in town, but no one sees how he treats Axel behind closed door. Only Ben, Axels best friend and his elderly neighbour know how Frank treats him. They always tell Axel to get out and go live somewhere else.
When Eli, the handsome and deaf new guy in town moves in around the bend, they have an immediate connection and Eli becomes Axels safe heaven whenever he flees his house when Frank with his buddies drunk and mean. He and his support golden retriever Pepper sit by the lake and read close to Eli's house.
Pepper is a traitor because she falls in love with Eli instantly. The conversations between Axel and his traitor dog will have you smiling from ear to ear - That mother fucker :)
A secrete affair starts between Axel and Eli. Their connection and passion for each other is out of this world, sweet and all consuming and eventually Eli ends up rescuing sweet Axel.
But not before we take an emotional ride though the on page abuse, the gaslighting and the sneaking around behind Franks back, in order to get to the rescuing part.
"He takes my hand in his. Then he signs and I understand him perfectly. “You are mine.” My eyes flick up to fuse with his and then, without meaning to, they drop to his lips. Even though he can’t hear my response the way I can, I need to hear myself say it, even if it’s barely a whisper. “Yes.” He signs again. “You belong to me.” Again, without hesitation, I answer. “I belong to you.”"
I not only loved this book, I am putting it in my top MM romance novels of the year!. It's exactly the kind of books I love with beautifully developed charters and a gripping storyline that breaks your heart 💔 as well and gives you hope. Not an easy read Cancer is at the forefront when Axel relapses but so worth it! ❤️
You can read all of my 72 highlights and fall in love with the writing yourself and get a feel for what you are in for. Please go into this knowing what you are about to read and rate, because Jen deserves all the stars for this stunning book ⭐️
"I’ve relapsed. My cancer came back. I must start treatment immediately. I may not make it this time. I don’t know how long, but I’m not expected to live past my mid-thirties. I am now twenty-eight."
"I know I stole my happiness, but if you had been loved the way Eli loved me, maybe you’d have stolen yours too, because after Eli loved me, I lived. I lived. I was dying, but I was also the most alive I had ever been. I am grateful for every breath I’ve been given since I was diagnosed when I was eighteen"
March 26, 2023
The author of this book tackled a serious subject, domestic violence relationships. She threw a lot at it and the things she discusses all well and truly occur. However, there is too much thrown at Axel - including No Lube Friday, the death of parents, and cancer and, and, and...and so little dedicated to the chemistry between the MCs. It wasn't there. So that left a book that was maudlin and depressing when I know the author was aiming for hopeful.
I also found it unbelievable that a very small town in rural Kentucky had a church that accepted marriage equality in its ranks just like it was drawn here - as long as you were faithful they accepted the sanctity of marriage equality.
The Sound of Us has a lovely cover and good intentions but the writing and romance fell flat. Not a winner for me.
I also found it unbelievable that a very small town in rural Kentucky had a church that accepted marriage equality in its ranks just like it was drawn here - as long as you were faithful they accepted the sanctity of marriage equality.
The Sound of Us has a lovely cover and good intentions but the writing and romance fell flat. Not a winner for me.
April 18, 2023
2.5 stars
March 17, 2023
Loved it❤️
If you're after a light fluffy read, some steamy past time book, to unwind in bed with, please feel free to keep walking, because baby, this ain't it.❤️
If you want to feel the overwhelming power of love, true and real amidst the worst of circumstances, if you want to feel rage so powerful, the pages of this book would not be able to stop you from exacting your revenge on the fictional villain threatening to tear apart every bit of joy Axel and Eli find in each other's company, then please read this unique masterpiece.❤️
I cried in a steady beat, pretty much all through this story. I was damn angry that Axel had to suffer and deal with so much crap, and yet, somehow, Jen Samsong got me to see the beauty in the stolen moments of sanity Alex afforded himself.❤️
This man, dear lord, he has been through hell and still managed to find the strength to defy the odds and dare ask for happiness.❤️Dare fight for it.❤️ I am in awe of his journey. Seeing Eli by his side was truly bitter sweet.❤️
Eli, this gorgeous soul, this beautiful human, oh my god, if that man doesn't instantly raise all your standards, I don't know who will. This amazing person was absolutely wonderful and so perfect for Axel.❤️
The original, insightful, and creative style of Jen Samson is absolutely captivating. The writing taps into the deepest crevices of your soul, inspiring true contemplation. The author has captured hypocrisy and double social standards in a nutshell. Absolutely brilliantly depicted situations and emotional trauma responses. Jen Samson has such profound insight into these complex situations. I am absolutely blown away by the intricate way she led me through this journey of reclaiming one's life, freedom, and sanity. ❤️
Even now, as I write this, I get emotional because of how this story still makes me feel.❤️
I absolutely loved it!❤️
Please take care and read the trigger warnings. They are there for a reason.❤️
If you're after a light fluffy read, some steamy past time book, to unwind in bed with, please feel free to keep walking, because baby, this ain't it.❤️
If you want to feel the overwhelming power of love, true and real amidst the worst of circumstances, if you want to feel rage so powerful, the pages of this book would not be able to stop you from exacting your revenge on the fictional villain threatening to tear apart every bit of joy Axel and Eli find in each other's company, then please read this unique masterpiece.❤️
I cried in a steady beat, pretty much all through this story. I was damn angry that Axel had to suffer and deal with so much crap, and yet, somehow, Jen Samsong got me to see the beauty in the stolen moments of sanity Alex afforded himself.❤️
This man, dear lord, he has been through hell and still managed to find the strength to defy the odds and dare ask for happiness.❤️Dare fight for it.❤️ I am in awe of his journey. Seeing Eli by his side was truly bitter sweet.❤️
Eli, this gorgeous soul, this beautiful human, oh my god, if that man doesn't instantly raise all your standards, I don't know who will. This amazing person was absolutely wonderful and so perfect for Axel.❤️
The original, insightful, and creative style of Jen Samson is absolutely captivating. The writing taps into the deepest crevices of your soul, inspiring true contemplation. The author has captured hypocrisy and double social standards in a nutshell. Absolutely brilliantly depicted situations and emotional trauma responses. Jen Samson has such profound insight into these complex situations. I am absolutely blown away by the intricate way she led me through this journey of reclaiming one's life, freedom, and sanity. ❤️
Even now, as I write this, I get emotional because of how this story still makes me feel.❤️
I absolutely loved it!❤️
Please take care and read the trigger warnings. They are there for a reason.❤️
June 23, 2024
It took me ages to get into this, but once I did I really enjoyed it, and the second half of the book had me enthralled.
The story itself is dark, but captivating. Axel is trapped in an extremely abusive marriage, and also waiting for the inevitable return of a cancer that will likely kill him next time. Then, Eli moves in down the road, and Axel can’t find it in himself to stay away. Despite being Deaf, Eli is the first person who truly hears and understands Axel, and he is determined to steal him away from the hell he’s living in.
I feel like Axel and Eli’s relationship could have been developed a bit more, as it’s quite insta-lovey. Much of their on-page time is spent having sex, so we don’t see a lot of conversation between them, but I still found their connection believable. I liked how Jen dealt with their language barrier, and how she portrayed Eli’s deafness in general. It seemed well-researched, as well as Axels experience as a domestic abuse survivor.
The depictions of Axel’s abuse are detailed and frequent throughout the book, including physical, verbal, mental, financial, and sexual abuse. I like that the author didn’t shy away from this, but it also was repetitive to read sometimes. However, that’s just the awful reality of living with abuse.
I think Jen’s writing is really beautiful in some places, but in others it feels strange. Her use of past/present/future tense narrative is inconsistent and doesn’t make sense a lot of the time, so I feel like the book could have used some extra proofreading/editing. The frequent grammatical errors were very distracting for me.
Although the ending isn’t a strong HEA, I was satisfied with how the story ended. Axel grew so much throughout the book, and I’m glad that he finally found somebody who cherishes him in the way he deserves, even if their ‘forever’ may look a little different from most.
The story itself is dark, but captivating. Axel is trapped in an extremely abusive marriage, and also waiting for the inevitable return of a cancer that will likely kill him next time. Then, Eli moves in down the road, and Axel can’t find it in himself to stay away. Despite being Deaf, Eli is the first person who truly hears and understands Axel, and he is determined to steal him away from the hell he’s living in.
I feel like Axel and Eli’s relationship could have been developed a bit more, as it’s quite insta-lovey. Much of their on-page time is spent having sex, so we don’t see a lot of conversation between them, but I still found their connection believable. I liked how Jen dealt with their language barrier, and how she portrayed Eli’s deafness in general. It seemed well-researched, as well as Axels experience as a domestic abuse survivor.
The depictions of Axel’s abuse are detailed and frequent throughout the book, including physical, verbal, mental, financial, and sexual abuse. I like that the author didn’t shy away from this, but it also was repetitive to read sometimes. However, that’s just the awful reality of living with abuse.
I think Jen’s writing is really beautiful in some places, but in others it feels strange. Her use of past/present/future tense narrative is inconsistent and doesn’t make sense a lot of the time, so I feel like the book could have used some extra proofreading/editing. The frequent grammatical errors were very distracting for me.
Although the ending isn’t a strong HEA, I was satisfied with how the story ended. Axel grew so much throughout the book, and I’m glad that he finally found somebody who cherishes him in the way he deserves, even if their ‘forever’ may look a little different from most.
April 10, 2023
For two people, one of whom couldn’t hear and the other was only starting to learn to sign, we ‘talk’ for hours.
Omg my heart is both heavy with sadness and swelling with swoony happiness. This book was everything further solidifying Jen Samsons place on my Instant-Buy-Author list.
Don’t read without checking the CW, and take them seriously. Meanwhile Ill be screaming from rooftops to all who can READ🤌🏽THIS🤌🏽BOOK🤌🏽
⭐️4.25… will probably reread and come back to give ⭐️5, full disclosure.
FRTC
December 29, 2024
This book has truly broken me.
January 9, 2024
•check tw/cw, also minor spoilers•
Going into this book I knew what it was about, I read the trigger warnings, I skimmed some reviews (good and bad), and decided to go for it. It's kind of hard for me to rate this because it's not a book I vehemently dislike or am absolutely gushing over, but I don't think this is for me.
We have Axel, who's in a very abusive (physically, emotionally, sexually) relationship with someone older who took advantage of him when he was young and sick - because Axel also is in remission for cancer. He meets Eli, his new neighbor, who is deaf and also grieving his father's death. They start a relationship and Axel slowly comes to terms with how he's been living his life and how he deserves so much better.
This whole book is a major bummer - like it's sad. I think that the author was going for realistic but it just kind of sucked all around (not the book itself, but the mood). I felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over me the whole time I was reading. There is romance, but it's a rushed, desperate kind of escape for Axel. I don't think that the good, happy romance moments were enough to outweigh the abuse and cancer and overall melancholy.
While I felt like the whole book was a downer, I did like the writing. I read it in one day - mostly because after I said "one more chapter" everything started to go down and I obviously had to keep going. I wanted to know how everything turned out and I was invested. Eli and Axel had good chemistry, I liked the Eli was the perfect partner for Axel and helped him in anyway he could. Eli was very supportive and exactly the person Axel needed in his life.
•bigger spoilers below•
While they got a happily ever after, once again for me it didn't outweigh all the bad stuff Axel went through. After the drama of finally leaving Frank and being with Eli, Axel's cancer comes back and he might not even make it a few more years. Yes, Eli gets him the best doctor, etc, and it's implied he'll recover but it was stated multiple times he only had a few more years to live. Maybe that's reality of a situation like this, and the whole point was to live happily in the moment, but I was still sad for Axel when the story ended which isn't how I like to leave a book.
•end of bigger spoilers•
There were a few nitpicky things like Axel at the end heavily talking about cheating and why people do it to justify himself - when he's the absolute last person who needs justification. Like Axel, that's the last thing I'm judging you for. Just leaned a little too hard into the why people cheat thing for me, when the reality is some people just suck. Not Axel - obviously. And I really needed Frank to get more justice at the end, but you can't get everything you want.
I know a lot of people love the story for the theme of hope and strength, and I did like that, but the hope for me gets taken away when bad things happen anyways. Maybe that's just real life, and maybe it sucks sometimes but I wanted a little more good for Axel and Eli.
Read if you like:
• small town romance
• hurt/comfort
• forbidden romance
Going into this book I knew what it was about, I read the trigger warnings, I skimmed some reviews (good and bad), and decided to go for it. It's kind of hard for me to rate this because it's not a book I vehemently dislike or am absolutely gushing over, but I don't think this is for me.
We have Axel, who's in a very abusive (physically, emotionally, sexually) relationship with someone older who took advantage of him when he was young and sick - because Axel also is in remission for cancer. He meets Eli, his new neighbor, who is deaf and also grieving his father's death. They start a relationship and Axel slowly comes to terms with how he's been living his life and how he deserves so much better.
This whole book is a major bummer - like it's sad. I think that the author was going for realistic but it just kind of sucked all around (not the book itself, but the mood). I felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over me the whole time I was reading. There is romance, but it's a rushed, desperate kind of escape for Axel. I don't think that the good, happy romance moments were enough to outweigh the abuse and cancer and overall melancholy.
While I felt like the whole book was a downer, I did like the writing. I read it in one day - mostly because after I said "one more chapter" everything started to go down and I obviously had to keep going. I wanted to know how everything turned out and I was invested. Eli and Axel had good chemistry, I liked the Eli was the perfect partner for Axel and helped him in anyway he could. Eli was very supportive and exactly the person Axel needed in his life.
•bigger spoilers below•
While they got a happily ever after, once again for me it didn't outweigh all the bad stuff Axel went through. After the drama of finally leaving Frank and being with Eli, Axel's cancer comes back and he might not even make it a few more years. Yes, Eli gets him the best doctor, etc, and it's implied he'll recover but it was stated multiple times he only had a few more years to live. Maybe that's reality of a situation like this, and the whole point was to live happily in the moment, but I was still sad for Axel when the story ended which isn't how I like to leave a book.
•end of bigger spoilers•
There were a few nitpicky things like Axel at the end heavily talking about cheating and why people do it to justify himself - when he's the absolute last person who needs justification. Like Axel, that's the last thing I'm judging you for. Just leaned a little too hard into the why people cheat thing for me, when the reality is some people just suck. Not Axel - obviously. And I really needed Frank to get more justice at the end, but you can't get everything you want.
I know a lot of people love the story for the theme of hope and strength, and I did like that, but the hope for me gets taken away when bad things happen anyways. Maybe that's just real life, and maybe it sucks sometimes but I wanted a little more good for Axel and Eli.
Read if you like:
• small town romance
• hurt/comfort
• forbidden romance
February 4, 2025
Ooh boy this was a doozy. It's like the author took a hammer and just kept beating us over the head with it repeatedly until the end. And even then she didn't fully let up.
I knew what I was getting into, though, and I was prepared for angst and pain. I rarely read works where one has cancer as well, but as long as we get a HEA, I can handle it...
Axel is a 28 year old married to Frank, a man 15 years his senior, and who for the past 10 years or so, has been in remission from cancer. He also endures constant abuse from Frank. Also his mother died soon before his cancer diagnosis when he was 18 and his father left them when he was a kid, so safe to say that all around Axel has a shitty life.
But then comes Eli, a man who is deaf but is able to listen to Axel so much better than anyone else, especially Frank.
Over the few months Eli is in town fixing up his father's old house to later be rented out, these two get to know each other, fall in love, and yes, start an affair.
Which, I didn't even really see as that. I still put the cheating tag because it's technically cheating, but it's barley that in my eyes, because Frank is such a monster and he and Eli barely even have what you can call a relationship. Like even if I enjoyed the tabooness of them cheating together, I'd usually still have a bit of guilt and a feeling of wrongness at them cheating, but I didn't here.
Like how can you truly cheat on someone you're truly with? Who doesn't love you and you don't love them? Who isn't truly committed to you? (Because we never got a confirmation for sure that Frank cheated, but we all know he did. It heavily implied.)
So as hard as this is to read, it has it's good in it too. Mainly Axel and Eli and their growing relationship, and their chemistry. And few side characters like Ben and...Mrs...something I'm blanking on her name right now.
But although I knew about this going in from the CWs and reviews, the references to another author and their work was still cringe, so part of my start off from this is that. Like just...do it. It's so product placement-y.
But my main reason for my star off was
So yeah, I wasn't happy about that.
But was the rest of this really good? Yes. It was a tough read, but really good. Seeing Axel get himself back with Eli was beautiful to see. For him to truly live for the first time since he got cancer back when he was 18. Eli was just the man he needed, the perfect counter to Frank's absolute awfulness.
So would I recommend this? Yes, if you're sure you can handle heavy subjects like cancer - and abuse as well as rape on page (although not too detailed overall) - that is a TW at the beginning of the book, not a spoiler.
This book isn't an easy read, but the romance was, overall, wonderful and I enjoyed this so much in the end.
I still loved my first read by this author more, but this was still a solid read. Can't wait to read more!
I knew what I was getting into, though, and I was prepared for angst and pain. I rarely read works where one has cancer as well, but as long as we get a HEA, I can handle it...
Axel is a 28 year old married to Frank, a man 15 years his senior, and who for the past 10 years or so, has been in remission from cancer. He also endures constant abuse from Frank. Also his mother died soon before his cancer diagnosis when he was 18 and his father left them when he was a kid, so safe to say that all around Axel has a shitty life.
But then comes Eli, a man who is deaf but is able to listen to Axel so much better than anyone else, especially Frank.
Over the few months Eli is in town fixing up his father's old house to later be rented out, these two get to know each other, fall in love, and yes, start an affair.
Which, I didn't even really see as that. I still put the cheating tag because it's technically cheating, but it's barley that in my eyes, because Frank is such a monster and he and Eli barely even have what you can call a relationship. Like even if I enjoyed the tabooness of them cheating together, I'd usually still have a bit of guilt and a feeling of wrongness at them cheating, but I didn't here.
Like how can you truly cheat on someone you're truly with? Who doesn't love you and you don't love them? Who isn't truly committed to you? (Because we never got a confirmation for sure that Frank cheated, but we all know he did. It heavily implied.)
So as hard as this is to read, it has it's good in it too. Mainly Axel and Eli and their growing relationship, and their chemistry. And few side characters like Ben and...Mrs...something I'm blanking on her name right now.
But although I knew about this going in from the CWs and reviews, the references to another author and their work was still cringe, so part of my start off from this is that. Like just...do it. It's so product placement-y.
But my main reason for my star off was
So yeah, I wasn't happy about that.
But was the rest of this really good? Yes. It was a tough read, but really good. Seeing Axel get himself back with Eli was beautiful to see. For him to truly live for the first time since he got cancer back when he was 18. Eli was just the man he needed, the perfect counter to Frank's absolute awfulness.
So would I recommend this? Yes, if you're sure you can handle heavy subjects like cancer - and abuse as well as rape on page (although not too detailed overall) - that is a TW at the beginning of the book, not a spoiler.
This book isn't an easy read, but the romance was, overall, wonderful and I enjoyed this so much in the end.
I still loved my first read by this author more, but this was still a solid read. Can't wait to read more!
August 18, 2024
5-*Beautiful*-Stars
"What is this? This...this feeling that if I breathed my last right this second, then this life would've been enough. For just this moment, I'd give up every second of my life before this. I'd break every vow I made for this one moment."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This was my first Jen Samson book and it will surely not be my last. I loved her writing. She captures the subtleties of intimacy and the nuances of a slow build up of tension so perfectly. As you're reading, you can feel she's building toward something, but you're never really sure what that something is or how bad it will be.
Axel Davis is living out his life in the small town he grew up in with a severely abusive husband. Things look good outside the home, but, on the inside, Axel is living a nightmare. His husband abuses him both mentally and physically.
Then Eli moves in to town. He's fixing up the family home to make it a B&B. It just happens to be right next to Axel's home. These two develop a friendship and Eli soon becomes Axel's escape. They fall in love and struggle for different reasons with their situation. Axel feels guilt because he's cheating on his husband. Eli just wants to sweep him away, keep him safe and give him everything he's missed out on in life.
I absolutely loved these two. I love that they had "their" special place to escape to. I love that Eli is hearing-impaired and relies on his other senses to read Axel and his emotions. I love that although they don't orally speak to each other, they have their own language. It just makes their relationship all the more special.
If you enjoy a good soulmates story, or even just some good 'ol fashion hurt/comfort, I can't recommend this enough. I loved everything about it!
P.S. I'd also like to add that Pepper is the bestest dog ever!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For the first time in my life, I regret not being able to speak like a hearing person. To tell him in elegant words everything I want to say. I want to touch you. I want to taste you. I want to own every inch of your body. I don't care about that ring on your finger. I don't care about the vows you made. I care nothing for a piece of paper that says you can't be mine.
Even if words could be spoken between us as easily as two hearing people, it wouldn't be necessary right now. Everything that needs to be said is being said. The beat of my heart against his palm. The press of his cheek against my chest. The possessiveness with which I hold him to me and his willingness to be enclosed inside this possessiveness.
"What is this? This...this feeling that if I breathed my last right this second, then this life would've been enough. For just this moment, I'd give up every second of my life before this. I'd break every vow I made for this one moment."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This was my first Jen Samson book and it will surely not be my last. I loved her writing. She captures the subtleties of intimacy and the nuances of a slow build up of tension so perfectly. As you're reading, you can feel she's building toward something, but you're never really sure what that something is or how bad it will be.
Axel Davis is living out his life in the small town he grew up in with a severely abusive husband. Things look good outside the home, but, on the inside, Axel is living a nightmare. His husband abuses him both mentally and physically.
Then Eli moves in to town. He's fixing up the family home to make it a B&B. It just happens to be right next to Axel's home. These two develop a friendship and Eli soon becomes Axel's escape. They fall in love and struggle for different reasons with their situation. Axel feels guilt because he's cheating on his husband. Eli just wants to sweep him away, keep him safe and give him everything he's missed out on in life.
I absolutely loved these two. I love that they had "their" special place to escape to. I love that Eli is hearing-impaired and relies on his other senses to read Axel and his emotions. I love that although they don't orally speak to each other, they have their own language. It just makes their relationship all the more special.
If you enjoy a good soulmates story, or even just some good 'ol fashion hurt/comfort, I can't recommend this enough. I loved everything about it!
P.S. I'd also like to add that Pepper is the bestest dog ever!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For the first time in my life, I regret not being able to speak like a hearing person. To tell him in elegant words everything I want to say. I want to touch you. I want to taste you. I want to own every inch of your body. I don't care about that ring on your finger. I don't care about the vows you made. I care nothing for a piece of paper that says you can't be mine.
Even if words could be spoken between us as easily as two hearing people, it wouldn't be necessary right now. Everything that needs to be said is being said. The beat of my heart against his palm. The press of his cheek against my chest. The possessiveness with which I hold him to me and his willingness to be enclosed inside this possessiveness.
January 19, 2025
In the spirit of honoring “JamieReadsRomance” and the bookstagram mentions in this, I will say I did infact get this recommendation from bookstagram. I read the caption on the creators post and was intrigued as hell.
Here I am hours later, after crying and mourning and deciding to tell you that YES. This is indeed the one.
Eli and Axel? Where the fuck do I even start? For a story with heavy topics, the writing was so easy to follow, I had to actively remind myself that this is serious coupled with the fact that I’ve read quite a few cheating trope books and none of those authors actually take time to address cheating as something that is indeed very negative like this one does.
That alone scores this book high points in my mind but what actually sold me was the love. How meaningful it was. How Eli and Axel spoke to each other with their bodies, with quiet support, with the devotion of love. How Eli managed to be the lover Axel shitty Ex wasn’t without even using his words or actively hearing Eli. He listened. He was everything.
Truth be told Ehn, I’m also suprised that the author was able to keep on the focal points of the plot intact despite the fact that there was alot going on. Not like in a bad way but it’s definitely heavy and complex and yet? We went through Abuse, mental health, parental abandonment, grief, terminal illness, body différencies, love, hope, strength, support?? Should I keep going or I should just say SLAYYYY!😭🫶🏼🧎♀️
Here I am hours later, after crying and mourning and deciding to tell you that YES. This is indeed the one.
Eli and Axel? Where the fuck do I even start? For a story with heavy topics, the writing was so easy to follow, I had to actively remind myself that this is serious coupled with the fact that I’ve read quite a few cheating trope books and none of those authors actually take time to address cheating as something that is indeed very negative like this one does.
That alone scores this book high points in my mind but what actually sold me was the love. How meaningful it was. How Eli and Axel spoke to each other with their bodies, with quiet support, with the devotion of love. How Eli managed to be the lover Axel shitty Ex wasn’t without even using his words or actively hearing Eli. He listened. He was everything.
Truth be told Ehn, I’m also suprised that the author was able to keep on the focal points of the plot intact despite the fact that there was alot going on. Not like in a bad way but it’s definitely heavy and complex and yet? We went through Abuse, mental health, parental abandonment, grief, terminal illness, body différencies, love, hope, strength, support?? Should I keep going or I should just say SLAYYYY!😭🫶🏼🧎♀️
August 31, 2023
It was sort of soft as a story. Fucked up but Tender and sweet and calming in its chaos too. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I loved the characters too.
But also, I felt that it was repetitive as hell and very slow paced. It could have been more....Polished, I think is the right word.....To make it reach the huge potential it had.
Still, it was a pretty good story :).
But also, I felt that it was repetitive as hell and very slow paced. It could have been more....Polished, I think is the right word.....To make it reach the huge potential it had.
Still, it was a pretty good story :).
April 30, 2023
I’m a hardy reader. Trigger warnings don’t scare me. That said after a couple of chapters of this book I had a feeling it was going to wreck me. No-lube Fridays in particular made me feel so utterly heart broken for Axel.
Axel is the sweetest, loveliest man. He should be cherished and adored to make up for the sadness he has suffered in his young life, but instead he has an abusing, controlling pig of a husband in Frank. I hated him. He’s vile.
Eli moves into the small town to renovate the property his dear, beloved dad grew up in. He’s completely deaf and full of heart. He’s the man that should be with Axel.
So many things that could have broken my beautiful boys were spinning around in my head. What would Frank do if he found out? What would happen to Pepper the dog? My stomach was churning with the possibilities.
What a great book this turned out to be. Thrilling, devastating, beautiful. I will definitely be reading more of this author.
Axel is the sweetest, loveliest man. He should be cherished and adored to make up for the sadness he has suffered in his young life, but instead he has an abusing, controlling pig of a husband in Frank. I hated him. He’s vile.
Eli moves into the small town to renovate the property his dear, beloved dad grew up in. He’s completely deaf and full of heart. He’s the man that should be with Axel.
So many things that could have broken my beautiful boys were spinning around in my head. What would Frank do if he found out? What would happen to Pepper the dog? My stomach was churning with the possibilities.
What a great book this turned out to be. Thrilling, devastating, beautiful. I will definitely be reading more of this author.
March 21, 2023
I didn’t hate it but…
I’m not sure if this makes sense but it felt like I was being told the story not immersed in it.
I didn’t hate it, the story was interesting and I didn’t start skimming until 90% but I didn’t fully enjoy it either. It kept continuously trying to justify the whole affair when I was already cheering them on. No need for the over explanation.
And with all the lead up to a violent end or something, it felt like everything was wrapped up too easily. Still happy they got their HEA though
I’m not sure if this makes sense but it felt like I was being told the story not immersed in it.
I didn’t hate it, the story was interesting and I didn’t start skimming until 90% but I didn’t fully enjoy it either. It kept continuously trying to justify the whole affair when I was already cheering them on. No need for the over explanation.
And with all the lead up to a violent end or something, it felt like everything was wrapped up too easily. Still happy they got their HEA though
April 21, 2023
I have so many things that I want to say about this book, but I don't even know where to start. First off, it was the cover that got my attention and then the blurb had me pushing this one to the front of my TBR list. The warnings at the beginning of the story almost had me turning away, not because I have any triggers (and this book is full of them), but because I knew that this was going to be a difficult read.
Axel has been in an abusive marriage for ten years when he meets a town newcomer Eli. Although Eli can neither hear nor speak, he understands Axel in a way that his own husband does not. As the bond between these two men intensifies, Axel wars with thoughts of infidelity and his struggle to survive.
Now, obviously this book will not be for everyone as it does deal with cheating and I understand that is a hard no for some readers. Let me tell you though...THIS. BOOK. Yes, it is a difficult read at times, but the cheating? That was a non-issue in this one for me. Axel's character broke my heart and he deserved every chance of happiness. I loved Eli and the strength that he gave to Axel throughout this story.
This story is tragic and heartbreaking and it brought me to tears more than once. This book consumed me to the point that I did not want to put it down, and I was left still wanting more, but yet relieved that I didn't get it. Some things are just better left unsaid and that's how I feel about the end of this story. Heartbreakingly beautiful. That's how I'll sum this one up.
Axel has been in an abusive marriage for ten years when he meets a town newcomer Eli. Although Eli can neither hear nor speak, he understands Axel in a way that his own husband does not. As the bond between these two men intensifies, Axel wars with thoughts of infidelity and his struggle to survive.
Now, obviously this book will not be for everyone as it does deal with cheating and I understand that is a hard no for some readers. Let me tell you though...THIS. BOOK. Yes, it is a difficult read at times, but the cheating? That was a non-issue in this one for me. Axel's character broke my heart and he deserved every chance of happiness. I loved Eli and the strength that he gave to Axel throughout this story.
This story is tragic and heartbreaking and it brought me to tears more than once. This book consumed me to the point that I did not want to put it down, and I was left still wanting more, but yet relieved that I didn't get it. Some things are just better left unsaid and that's how I feel about the end of this story. Heartbreakingly beautiful. That's how I'll sum this one up.
May 31, 2023
Wow!
I have never been so stressed to write a review...
Because no matter what I might say, it will never live up to the tribute this book deserves!
So I'm just gonna try to do my best…
This book is very difficult to read, I'm not going to lie to you, being a very sensitive person, it's exactly the kind of book I usually avoid… But I had a really huge feeling that I had to read this book no matter what…
And I wasn't wrong, even with all the tears shed and my heart shattered, it was so worth it!
Axel and Eli are undeniably soulmates…
Eli already knew from almost the beginning that Axel was made for him and he never even dared to give up fighting to win both him and his heart… He's the one who showed Axel not only what love between two persons should be like but ultimately what true love is!
As Axel's time spent in the company of Eli increased, so did his slow but strong
progression towards freedom, and that was truly beautiful to see.
The immeasurable ease they had in understanding each other without even speaking was simply phenomenal.
This is easily one of the best books I have read!
And I have no doubts that these two will live on in my mind and in my soul forever.
⚠️ Please, please, please check the TW
Some of my favorite quotes:
Deep inside my heart. And not only that, he's seeped into my pores, into my very bones. There's no part of my body, physical or ethereal, where I don't feel him.
He beams and I fall in love with him immediately. It's instant and I don't bother denying any of it. Last night I was prepared to steal him away. This morning I was prepared to steal his dog with the hope that he would follow. Now? I would burn everything to have him.
Eli swivels his hips, his loud grunts filling the air. I let my vocal cords loose, joining him in a melody of sex-infused sounds. It's the sound of us. Raw, uninhibited. Forbidden, but so innocent.
"Come, Eli," I whisper into the air. "Come, love of my life. Come, beat of my heart. "
I have never been so stressed to write a review...
Because no matter what I might say, it will never live up to the tribute this book deserves!
So I'm just gonna try to do my best…
This book is very difficult to read, I'm not going to lie to you, being a very sensitive person, it's exactly the kind of book I usually avoid… But I had a really huge feeling that I had to read this book no matter what…
And I wasn't wrong, even with all the tears shed and my heart shattered, it was so worth it!
Axel and Eli are undeniably soulmates…
Eli already knew from almost the beginning that Axel was made for him and he never even dared to give up fighting to win both him and his heart… He's the one who showed Axel not only what love between two persons should be like but ultimately what true love is!
As Axel's time spent in the company of Eli increased, so did his slow but strong
progression towards freedom, and that was truly beautiful to see.
The immeasurable ease they had in understanding each other without even speaking was simply phenomenal.
This is easily one of the best books I have read!
And I have no doubts that these two will live on in my mind and in my soul forever.
⚠️ Please, please, please check the TW
Some of my favorite quotes:
Deep inside my heart. And not only that, he's seeped into my pores, into my very bones. There's no part of my body, physical or ethereal, where I don't feel him.
He beams and I fall in love with him immediately. It's instant and I don't bother denying any of it. Last night I was prepared to steal him away. This morning I was prepared to steal his dog with the hope that he would follow. Now? I would burn everything to have him.
Eli swivels his hips, his loud grunts filling the air. I let my vocal cords loose, joining him in a melody of sex-infused sounds. It's the sound of us. Raw, uninhibited. Forbidden, but so innocent.
"Come, Eli," I whisper into the air. "Come, love of my life. Come, beat of my heart. "
October 25, 2025
a SOLID 4 stars. could I have gone higher? maybe, but tough books always get wonky ratings from me. and, I mean, 4 stars ain't bad.
y'all, my heart hurts. as someone who is on year 21 of being a DV survivor, every single thought, action, and experience HIT ME HARD. I've been able to compartmentalize that part of my life so I can confidently say I'm okay now, but the flashbacks and nightmares that sometimes pop into my mind won't ever leave me and THAT is what ultimately broke my heart about Axel's situation.
but Eli? that man was everything. everything axel needed. the only thing I didn't like was when he left axel without knowing where he was because of his mother. like, I could understand but it still didn't feel like something Eli would do.
and the ending? bittersweet. I feel like it's a bit open ended. we're hopeful, but we just don't know and THAT also hurt my heart.
some editing mistakes were prominent but I really enjoyed this read and devoured it.
y'all, my heart hurts. as someone who is on year 21 of being a DV survivor, every single thought, action, and experience HIT ME HARD. I've been able to compartmentalize that part of my life so I can confidently say I'm okay now, but the flashbacks and nightmares that sometimes pop into my mind won't ever leave me and THAT is what ultimately broke my heart about Axel's situation.
but Eli? that man was everything. everything axel needed. the only thing I didn't like was when he left axel without knowing where he was because of his mother. like, I could understand but it still didn't feel like something Eli would do.
and the ending? bittersweet. I feel like it's a bit open ended. we're hopeful, but we just don't know and THAT also hurt my heart.
some editing mistakes were prominent but I really enjoyed this read and devoured it.
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