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The Joy of Doing Things Badly: A Girl's Guide to Love, Life and Foolish Bravery
In a society that puts so much emphasis on perfection, Veronica Chambers mischievously casts aside the guilt-inducing litany of “shoulda, coulda, woulda” that seems to define modern-day life and replaces it with a resounding call to live with “foolish bravery.” Refreshingly open about the personal failures and limitations that once weighed her down with shame, Chambers describes how she turned her less-than-perfect qualities into sources of delight and satisfaction. From belting out off-key renditions of torch songs while washing the dishes to seeing even the most unlikely career opportunity as a chance to spread one’s wings, Chambers shows that a willingness to fall flat on one’s face heightens the joys of everyday life and opens a new, wonderfully liberating perspective on work, motherhood, aging, friendship, failure, and success.
With a winning combination of lighthearted anecdotes and heartfelt musings, Chambers encourages readers to follow her example and do the things that tickle their fancies and fire their imaginations—no matter what other people (and that little voice inside) may say. Like Chambers herself, they’ll discover that “what we consider our failures have a surprising ability to charm . . . we are loved for our imperfections—for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs.”
With a winning combination of lighthearted anecdotes and heartfelt musings, Chambers encourages readers to follow her example and do the things that tickle their fancies and fire their imaginations—no matter what other people (and that little voice inside) may say. Like Chambers herself, they’ll discover that “what we consider our failures have a surprising ability to charm . . . we are loved for our imperfections—for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs.”
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
12 people are currently reading
288 people want to read
About the author
Veronica Chambers
46 books284 followersVeronica Chambers is a prolific author, best known for her critically acclaimed memoir, Mama’s Girl, which has been course adopted by hundreds of high schools and colleges throughout the country. The New Yorker called Mama’s Girl “a troubling testament to grit and mother love… one of the finest and most evenhanded in the genre in recent years.” Born in Panama and raised in Brooklyn, Ms. Chambers' work often reflects her Afro-Latina heritage.
Her most recent non-fiction book was Kickboxing Geishas: How Japanese Women are Changing their Nation. Her other non-fiction books include The Joy of Doing Things Badly: A Girl’s Guide to Love, Life, and Foolish Bravery. She has also written more than a dozen books for children, most recently Celia Cruz, Queen of Salsa and the body confidence Y/A novel, Plus. Her teen series, Amigas, is a collaboration between Chambers, producer Jane Startz, and Jennifer Lopez.
Veronica spent two seasons as an executive story editor for CW’s hit series Girlfriends, and earned a BET Comedy Award for her script work on that series. She has also written and developed projects for Fox and the N.
Veronica has contributed to several anthologies, including the best-selling Bitch in the House, edited by Cathi Hanuaer, and Mommy Wars, edited by Leslie Morgan Steiner.
A graduate of Simon’s Rock College at Bard, she and her husband have endowed three scholarships at the college in the fields of music and literature. She has been the recipient of several awards including the Hodder fellowship for emerging novelists at Princeton University and a National Endowment for the Arts fiction award. She speaks, reads and writes Spanish, but she is truly fluent in Spanglish. She lives with her husband and daughter in Hoboken, New Jersey.
Her most recent non-fiction book was Kickboxing Geishas: How Japanese Women are Changing their Nation. Her other non-fiction books include The Joy of Doing Things Badly: A Girl’s Guide to Love, Life, and Foolish Bravery. She has also written more than a dozen books for children, most recently Celia Cruz, Queen of Salsa and the body confidence Y/A novel, Plus. Her teen series, Amigas, is a collaboration between Chambers, producer Jane Startz, and Jennifer Lopez.
Veronica spent two seasons as an executive story editor for CW’s hit series Girlfriends, and earned a BET Comedy Award for her script work on that series. She has also written and developed projects for Fox and the N.
Veronica has contributed to several anthologies, including the best-selling Bitch in the House, edited by Cathi Hanuaer, and Mommy Wars, edited by Leslie Morgan Steiner.
A graduate of Simon’s Rock College at Bard, she and her husband have endowed three scholarships at the college in the fields of music and literature. She has been the recipient of several awards including the Hodder fellowship for emerging novelists at Princeton University and a National Endowment for the Arts fiction award. She speaks, reads and writes Spanish, but she is truly fluent in Spanglish. She lives with her husband and daughter in Hoboken, New Jersey.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
November 23, 2011
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
For example, this passage (pp. 27-28):
"It's no secret that I cannot sing. I have a voice that could peel paint off the walls. For a long time, I hid this flaw, embarrassed...
"One Sunday morning I was pressing my lips shut and clapping my hands when the minister sidled up next to me.
"'Why aren't you singing?' he asked.
"'I can't sing,' I whispered to him, afraid of attracting too much attention. 'I have an awful voice.'
"Then the minister looked at me and said five of the most beautiful words I have ever heard. He said, 'Do you think God cares?'
"Ever since that glorious day, my love for singing has grown exponentially. I sing in the shower and around the house. I sing in the car, at church, and on the dance floor... [M]y singing, wretched as it may be, has vastly improved my living. 'I want to tell you something but I don't want you to be offended,' Jason, my then fiance, told me as we washed the dinner dishes and I crooned along to Ella Fitzgerald. 'The thing I love about you is that your singing is so wretched but you do it anyway.'
"His backhanded compliment confirmed not only why I married him but a truth I had long suspected. The things we do badly set us apart; what we consider our failures have a surprising ability to charm. We think we have to be perfect for other people to love us, when in fact the opposite is true. We are loved for our imperfections--for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs."
This book is exactly what I needed to read right now. "Balm" is the word that comes to mind (although the more you look at that word and think about it, the weirder it seems).
Also, the chapter on rejection made me realize why I've been so entrenched in procrastination with pitching guest posts, which I know I need to do. Duh, I'm afraid of rejection. Sometimes the truth is right in front of my face, but I don't see it until someone else points it out. Maybe now that I know that's all it is, I can get on with it.
I think I've had the mistaken underlying assumption that when you're a professional writer, you've somehow transcended being bothered by rejection. You know it's part of life, and it just means someone else wasn't convinced your idea was a good fit for them right now, not that your idea, writing, or self is bad, so it doesn't bother you. This chapter showed me what total bull that is. This chick is a "real" writer, and she has a three-day routine to help herself get over each rejection! (Day 1: cry all you want, we'll make more. Day 2: you can still cry, but you have to get out of the house. Day 3: crying is ok, but get back on the horse. Pitch another idea somewhere else or put yourself out there in some way.)
Also, remember that delay is not denial. Even if you don't get what you want now, you will get it eventually (though possibly in a different form).
"Seven days a week, we do our best." --don't be so hard on yourself.
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop--the art of losing--"practice losing farther, losing faster"!
Actually sad to be finished with this sweet and comforting book--I will miss it.
For example, this passage (pp. 27-28):
"It's no secret that I cannot sing. I have a voice that could peel paint off the walls. For a long time, I hid this flaw, embarrassed...
"One Sunday morning I was pressing my lips shut and clapping my hands when the minister sidled up next to me.
"'Why aren't you singing?' he asked.
"'I can't sing,' I whispered to him, afraid of attracting too much attention. 'I have an awful voice.'
"Then the minister looked at me and said five of the most beautiful words I have ever heard. He said, 'Do you think God cares?'
"Ever since that glorious day, my love for singing has grown exponentially. I sing in the shower and around the house. I sing in the car, at church, and on the dance floor... [M]y singing, wretched as it may be, has vastly improved my living. 'I want to tell you something but I don't want you to be offended,' Jason, my then fiance, told me as we washed the dinner dishes and I crooned along to Ella Fitzgerald. 'The thing I love about you is that your singing is so wretched but you do it anyway.'
"His backhanded compliment confirmed not only why I married him but a truth I had long suspected. The things we do badly set us apart; what we consider our failures have a surprising ability to charm. We think we have to be perfect for other people to love us, when in fact the opposite is true. We are loved for our imperfections--for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs."
This book is exactly what I needed to read right now. "Balm" is the word that comes to mind (although the more you look at that word and think about it, the weirder it seems).
Also, the chapter on rejection made me realize why I've been so entrenched in procrastination with pitching guest posts, which I know I need to do. Duh, I'm afraid of rejection. Sometimes the truth is right in front of my face, but I don't see it until someone else points it out. Maybe now that I know that's all it is, I can get on with it.
I think I've had the mistaken underlying assumption that when you're a professional writer, you've somehow transcended being bothered by rejection. You know it's part of life, and it just means someone else wasn't convinced your idea was a good fit for them right now, not that your idea, writing, or self is bad, so it doesn't bother you. This chapter showed me what total bull that is. This chick is a "real" writer, and she has a three-day routine to help herself get over each rejection! (Day 1: cry all you want, we'll make more. Day 2: you can still cry, but you have to get out of the house. Day 3: crying is ok, but get back on the horse. Pitch another idea somewhere else or put yourself out there in some way.)
Also, remember that delay is not denial. Even if you don't get what you want now, you will get it eventually (though possibly in a different form).
"Seven days a week, we do our best." --don't be so hard on yourself.
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop--the art of losing--"practice losing farther, losing faster"!
Actually sad to be finished with this sweet and comforting book--I will miss it.
March 11, 2020
I could only read a third of this book and skimmed the rest. Veronica has some good points, but I found myself eyerolling a lot.
February 15, 2016
Veronica Chambers muses about the challenges she has faced in life, and describes her work as a writer. As she describes, "I was beginning to discover the art of choosing myself, of realizing that my dream of being a writer was not going to be placed on my head like a hat or a crown: "You are now a writer!" But rather, it is something you must decide for yourself, then present it to the world: "I am a writer!" As scary as that may be."
She also outlines the dread of rejection of her writing:
I don't like it. I wouldn't choose it. But it is part and parcel of the life I"m leading. At best, your work is criticized by a smart editor who helps you become a better writer. Yet even when the editor is smart, it still hurts.
Chamber admires the strength of other women, such as Julia Child who wrote letters to her husband Paul several times a week. As Chambers writes:
I love this, because I am so over email...I like getting something in the mail besides bills and junk, and I imagine that my friends feel the same. I try to send paper birthday cards for the same reason.
I also appreciate her description of "breaking up" with a friend:
There is no high court of friendship to legally and permanently break its bonds...I want to hold onto the friends who know how hard I worked to get there, the ones who stop me mid-sentence when my humility veers into a kind of disingenuous, self-flagellating depreciation.
She also writes about "The Forgiveness Project" at Stanford University that found long-held grudges and resentment can have serious long-term effects on health. If you want to heal a relationship, the other person has to be willing to meet you halfway. You can forgive, but not accept, an abusive partner back into your life if he doesn't get counselling..Forgiveness is a gift that must be offered without strings or expectations...Maybe the person you need to forgive is yourself.
She also outlines the dread of rejection of her writing:
I don't like it. I wouldn't choose it. But it is part and parcel of the life I"m leading. At best, your work is criticized by a smart editor who helps you become a better writer. Yet even when the editor is smart, it still hurts.
Chamber admires the strength of other women, such as Julia Child who wrote letters to her husband Paul several times a week. As Chambers writes:
I love this, because I am so over email...I like getting something in the mail besides bills and junk, and I imagine that my friends feel the same. I try to send paper birthday cards for the same reason.
I also appreciate her description of "breaking up" with a friend:
There is no high court of friendship to legally and permanently break its bonds...I want to hold onto the friends who know how hard I worked to get there, the ones who stop me mid-sentence when my humility veers into a kind of disingenuous, self-flagellating depreciation.
She also writes about "The Forgiveness Project" at Stanford University that found long-held grudges and resentment can have serious long-term effects on health. If you want to heal a relationship, the other person has to be willing to meet you halfway. You can forgive, but not accept, an abusive partner back into your life if he doesn't get counselling..Forgiveness is a gift that must be offered without strings or expectations...Maybe the person you need to forgive is yourself.
October 27, 2013
Pretty terrible book.
She had a lot of great points but they were just SO overshadowed for me.
Like sports have never come easy for her. Her ex bf belittled her for running 15 minutes saying it wasn't a run. She stuck with it. Excellent. Motivating. I should too. Then she goes on about hiring a famous personal trainer she read about in a magazine. Oh. Yeah. That's never going to happen on my budget.
Or she mentioned wanting to give back to the school that really bent over backwards to help her. That she was sending checks of $25 a month to different charities. That's pretty motivating. Maybe I should be less critical of my school and start to give to charities myself. Then the author realized that wasn't doing any good so she became a member of the board and donated $150 a month to have a study room built in her grandmother's honor. Oh.. yeah.. $150 is so not going to happen in my budget...
Or women should learn to be their own best friend and not worry about having a partner for travel. Additionally, she treats herself to one birthday hobby a year. Like learning a language. That sounds really nice. Its worth it for her even if she "only" is able to travel overseas two weeks a year. Ergh. K. I go on vacation maybe once every two years.
Anyways, she has some excellent points, but I find it hard to relate to her stories.
She had a lot of great points but they were just SO overshadowed for me.
Like sports have never come easy for her. Her ex bf belittled her for running 15 minutes saying it wasn't a run. She stuck with it. Excellent. Motivating. I should too. Then she goes on about hiring a famous personal trainer she read about in a magazine. Oh. Yeah. That's never going to happen on my budget.
Or she mentioned wanting to give back to the school that really bent over backwards to help her. That she was sending checks of $25 a month to different charities. That's pretty motivating. Maybe I should be less critical of my school and start to give to charities myself. Then the author realized that wasn't doing any good so she became a member of the board and donated $150 a month to have a study room built in her grandmother's honor. Oh.. yeah.. $150 is so not going to happen in my budget...
Or women should learn to be their own best friend and not worry about having a partner for travel. Additionally, she treats herself to one birthday hobby a year. Like learning a language. That sounds really nice. Its worth it for her even if she "only" is able to travel overseas two weeks a year. Ergh. K. I go on vacation maybe once every two years.
Anyways, she has some excellent points, but I find it hard to relate to her stories.
November 7, 2015
I first read this when it came out in 2006, having been given the beautiful gift of a week at a spa, where my sister and I met Veronica Chambers and her lovely friend Tina. It rang so true to me then; having just met Veronica and basked in her warmth and humor, reading the book felt like having a conversation with her, especially in the sense that I could relate to so many of the moments, fears and joys that she described.
When I moved from California to Eastern Europe in 2008, this was one of the few books that I brought with me, feeling that it might become something of a touchstone. I've not read it since, though, until this week - nine years later, now in my forties and living in Germany with my husband of two years. Veronica's thoughts and wisdom rings as deeply now as it did before, and I found myself feeling delighted and comforted at the feeling of rediscovering an important conversation and friendship. The book still feels highly relevant to me, and in general, no mean feat for a work of its kind, which could feel dated and irrelevant to the time, but still reads as fresh, gently humorous and honest.
When I moved from California to Eastern Europe in 2008, this was one of the few books that I brought with me, feeling that it might become something of a touchstone. I've not read it since, though, until this week - nine years later, now in my forties and living in Germany with my husband of two years. Veronica's thoughts and wisdom rings as deeply now as it did before, and I found myself feeling delighted and comforted at the feeling of rediscovering an important conversation and friendship. The book still feels highly relevant to me, and in general, no mean feat for a work of its kind, which could feel dated and irrelevant to the time, but still reads as fresh, gently humorous and honest.
February 26, 2018
I really loved this book. It was so encouraging, so affirming and just made me feel better about myself and life in general. Several passages reminded me of the gentle assurances of Mister Rogers specifically on page 28..."The things we do badly set us apart; what we consider our failures have a surprising ability to charm. We think we have to be perfect for other people to love us, when in fact the opposite is true. We are loved for our imperfections - for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs." I read this book from the library and so often wished I could highlight certain passages for future reading so I will definitely be purchasing a copy of this for my personal collection and I also hope to purchase copies for a few friends that I think may enjoy it as well. A positive read with a wonderful message throughout...I definitely recommend it. :)
September 7, 2007
just the title says it all...the joy of doing things badly. as you read through the pages of this book, it just shows that anyone and i mean ANYONE can be who they are and can achieve what they want if they put their minds to it. this book gives me the drive to strive for the best and it just makes my day better after a days work. veronica shares to her readers how life can be easy but far from perfect and even for someone like her, life can be tough and the one way that would make it easier is to include humor and fun to it...now that is the life!
December 20, 2012
Reads like a fun, refreshing conversation with an insightful friend. It's light reading that leaves you with a lot of good truths to ponder. Such as: "There is an expression in Spanish that translates, 'Life is tough, but I am tougher.' It used to be my mantra, it's not anymore. These days, I have no interest in proving how tough I am... We think we have to be perfect for other people to love us, when in fact the opposite is true. We are loved for our imperfections - for our funny faces and walks and dances and songs."
January 22, 2008
I love love love this book. I put this in the "be kind to yourself because nobody's perfect" category and that pretty much sums up the theme of the book. It's easy to get wrapped up in the craziness and competitiveness of everyday life, but this book reminded me that it's ok if i don't always succeed as long as i tried my best. It's a testament that some of life's best moments can happen during those times when we fall short of perfection. in fact i just decided to read it again.
May 25, 2009
Chambers discusses the art of becoming comfortable with failing often. My biggest fear is failure and her words allowed me to see the beauty in trying lots of different things and being okay with failing. Her stories pertain to work, love, and life. The editing needs a bit of work but the substance is worth a read.
May 7, 2007
I like Veronica Chamber's short essays a lot and this is basically a collection of them under the theme of not striving for perfection. The essays are good, quick, light but thoughtful reads, and I really love the title.
March 22, 2009
My sweet baby brother gave this to me for my first Mother's Day. I just re-read it after reading an article about by Chambers about being the mom of a mixed race child in the recently defunct Wondertime magazine.
Read
July 31, 2012The book helped me to stop and enjoy life every step of the way and to not sweat the small stuff. It all so help me to think about who are my hero's in this life and why? Her writing style is plain, but her subject is real and touching.
April 23, 2013
I pulled this off the shelf of a local used bookstore, completely randomly, and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it, both in writing style and in inspirational value. I have already recommended it to several dear friends. And I might just have to start a "Birthday Passions" tradition! What a little gem.
March 28, 2009
OK I finally took it back to the library- the best thing about this book is the title.
Read
July 22, 2008a gently read, but good at persuading one to
try the competition, the job interview, the trip to a new country...
Helps if you are interested in writing - and are Female!
try the competition, the job interview, the trip to a new country...
Helps if you are interested in writing - and are Female!
April 4, 2009
A bit disjointed, but if you think of it like a series of columns, it's fun.
February 10, 2011
Loved this book. Perfect for 30-somethings who may be feeling like they've forgotten to do something or should be doing something more - or less. Funny, candid. Fantastic.
March 8, 2010
I really enjoyed this book.
February 12, 2011
Hmmmm... I'm not sure where I heard of this or why I wanted to read it, but it wasn't that great. Not interesting enough to hold my attention. I didn't' finish it.
December 8, 2014
From the reviews, it appeared you either loved or hated this book. I hated it. Maybe this was good for younger women. I admit - I'm old.
November 28, 2020
This book lives up to its name. Veronica Chambers writes in a way that engages the reader; the book reads as a conversation with a good friend. She does a great job of sharing personal anecdotes that relate to her topic, invoke humor, and inspire. Parts of the book do get a little repetitive, but I recommend skimming over those parts rather than skipping the book as a whole. This is the type of book that I will return to when I need motivation to keep moving towards my goals and help finding joy in life. Veronica reminds the reader to not take themselves too seriously and enjoy living, which will in turn provide the way to meaningful success. She does not promote one specific way of life but finding the right way of life for yourself. I highly recommend this book to others. In fact, my mom is already reading it and sharing her favorite quotes with me!
July 23, 2023
I started two books on the same day and had my expectations of each exactly reversed. The other one, which I DNFd the same day, I had expected to be thoughtful and engrossing and turned out to be obnoxious and annoying. This book, with its title and whimsical drawing on the cover, I expected to be maybe a little silly. Instead, it was the thoughtful and engrossing book I was looking for. It's really mostly a memoir of stories from Veronica Chambers's experiences, but I enjoyed her writing and her perspective. My only sticking point is that I didn't really feel like Chambers was doing anything all that badly. I didn't necessarily feel my own awkwardness connected to the ways she was supposedly struggling. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this book.
August 6, 2018
I did not expect to love this as much as I did! A very refreshing take on this genre. I learned things about myself and life that I didn't know. Pretty much the highest praise I can give to a self-help/memoir. Veronica Chambers is a kindred spirit, and I appreciate her voice and map to finding joy out of a less than joy-filled upbringing immeasurably.
August 25, 2024
Boring. I struggled to finish. It was a lot like her book Mamas girl. She basically just printed a day to day diary. We all know you can attempt to do things and fail. It could have been a magazine article.
September 18, 2022
It's been years since I read this but it really helped be overcome my perfection paralysis and stop taking myself so seriously!
October 5, 2024
Enjoyed her courage and interest to try new things and not have to achieve perfection but instead just enjoy. Glad I spent time with her book.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews