Living Together, Feeling Alone

by Dan Kiley

Living Together Loneliness has already affected millions of supposedly happily "coupled" women.

Now, renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Dan Kiley smashes the myth that loneliness is based on being alone. After validating your problem with a wide range of real-life stories, Dr. Kiley guides you through a life-affirming, five-step "self-reliance" program that will move you away from blaming your partner toward loving yourself and recognizing your own inner strength. You'll learn how
-- Use spiritual behaviorism and its three, faith, hope, and love
-- Reassure the frightened little girl inside
-- Change your peace-at-any-price philosophy
-- Stop being a perfectionist
-- Master ten ways of raising your self-esteem
-- Break old rules and expectations by developing new, healthier ones

With Dr. Kiley's empathetic support, you will learn that the power to exchange your loneliness for happiness is within, and that self-love (not only love for others) is the key.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology

222 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 28, 1989

About the author

For the author on architecture, see Dan Urban Kiley, 1912-2004.

Psychologist Dan Kiley popularized the Peter Pan syndrome in his 1983 book, The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up. His next book, The Wendy Dilemma (1984), advised women romantically involved with "Peter Pans" how to improve their relationships.

After receiving a doctorate at the University of Illinois, Kiley began treating juvenile delinquents, an experience that led to a series of early books, including "Keeping Kids Out of Trouble."

Dr. Kiley got the idea for "The Peter Pan Syndrome" after noticing that, like the famous character in the James M. Barrie play, many of the troubled teen-age boys he treated had problems growing up and accepting adult responsibilities.

After he began work on the book, it dawned on him that the teen-age boys who refused to accept responsibility grew up to become men who refused to accept responsibility.

Reviews

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

The subtitle: Healing Your Hidden Loneliness is the theme of the book and the focus is the loneliness that exists within a relationship. Loneliness is defined as the "perceived discrepancy between expected and achieved levels of social contact."

If you answer yes to one or more of these 5 questions, you probably have a loneliness issue: (the author focuses on women as the most common owner of this issue)

-- I can't turn to him when I feel bad.
-- I feel left out of his life.
-- I feel isolated from him, even when he's in the same room.
-- I'm unhappy being shut off from him.
-- He doesn't really know me well.

What I liked about this book is that it doesn't say to get out of the relationship, it tells the reader that loneliness begins within and offers a straightforward process for filling the emptiness within.

[Matt Matics · Rating 2 out of 5]

So dated! Hard to read in 2014.

Also, there's a lot of emphasis on spirituality and that sort of thing. Not for the practically-minded.

[Karim Muhammad · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first book I have ever read when my relation with my spouse was in danger. And, this book completely transform our relationship and change my perspective of Love.

[Natasha Vaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would recommend all younger adults to read this book along with his other's. Its will help you navigate yourself to finding the right mate when dating.

[Beverly Kennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Same author as the Peter Pan Syndrome.