Hot Monogamy: Essential Steps to More Passionate, Intimate Lovemaking

by Patricia Love, Jo Robinson

Dr. Love's unique program shows how any couple can combine the security of a long-term relationship with the heat and passion of a new affair. Love provides exercises and specific advice to help the couple address each one's emotional as well as sexual needs.

Genres: Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology

310 pages, Paperback

First published February 3, 1994

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Reviews

[Michael Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've only read half of the book so far. If you're in a relationship, there are a ton of things in this book that could prove useful. Most of it isn't sexual (although there's some great stuff in that arena too). Most of what I've read so far centers on communication. Since sex is 90% mental, that makes sense. One of my favorite television characters, a certain Frank Underwood, once said, "Everything is about sex, except sex." That seems to be generally true. Much of what we do in our day to day lives somehow relates to/is driven by sex. But when we're actually having sex, it's about a thousand different things (intimacy, security, passion, release, danger, etc.) If you're keyed in on intimacy or passion, but your partner's all about trust/security, you are not speaking the same language. That disconnect can be devastating in a relationship. So, communicating with each other solves that disconnect. The trick is getting your partner to read the book/try the advice in it (a pretty tall order in some relationships). If you figure out how to do this, please tell me. That said, just making the effort to read this book says something about you.

[Aerin · Rating 4 out of 5]

As you can guess from the title, this book is skewed towards a monogamous viewpoint. That's not really an issue for me as I tend towards monogamy. However, I thought this was a great book about how to communicate about sex and intimacy and build trust in sexual relationships. I think it has some good solid advice and some exercises to help couples relate to each other better sexually. I think a lot of the issues and ideas addressed in this book would benefit all sorts of relationships, though if you happen to be polyamorous, some of the ideas (such as intimacy thrives best in monogamous relationships) may be annoying to you. But, if you can overlook those things, I think it's useful.

This book is really about communication, not the hottest new sexual techniques. But, communication is at the heart of intimacy and allows couples to open up to each other and try things they might never have felt comfortable with before. It also addresses needs and allows for boundaries and the development of trust.

Definitely worth a read if you've ever been in a relationship that has suffered sexually. I think it is probably most useful to read and do the exercises with a partner. But, it is also interesting to read while single and apply later.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a mental health counselor with couples counseling. This book was a great book for a lot of couples I have counseled that have difficulty balancing work, children, their individual lives and commitment to their marriage relationship. While the topic was very difficult to address in the beginning, most of the couples found this book a wonderful tool to not only their sex life, but to actually communicating better. Several couples said that they have never spoke on such a deep and intimate level before on any topic, much less sex. They were very grateful to be able to develop not only intimacy, but so much more, like communications, trust, and love. A very powerful book.

[HeavyReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I am not technically in a monogamous relationship, I picked up this book at a Friends of the Library book sale. I like to read advice books by a variety of sex educators to find out what techniques are being recommended to folks.

This book has a lot of really good information, and I got a lot out of it. The number one suggestion is communication and good communication at that, not just blabbing at each other all the time. There are exercises at the end of each chapter for both members of a couple to fill out and then share with each other. These exercises let the individual learn more about him/herself and gives both partners the chance to learn about each other.

Couples who are committed to each other and to making their relationship work can find a lot of advice and practical solutions for making their sex life and all of their relationship more intimate and passionate.

Recommended!

[Patti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book. Pat Love is a great marriage therapist. Doug and I incorporate lots of her marriage therapy techniques into our work. Discovered this book when we were in Austin for training. It is one of the best I have read on passionate, intimate lovemaking. I think it was written in the 90's originally and republished in 2013. It has good information and excellent exercises to facilitate talking about sex, resolving differences, communicating about techniques, relaxing into fun, creating romance, dealing with feelings about body image, becoming more sensuous and overcoming blocks to passion.

[Renee · Rating 2 out of 5]

The content and writing style are old-fashioned and outdated, and sometimes conflicted with more recent data in other books on marriage/sex I've read. Some of the ideas and exercises I disagreed with and some I had already thought of on my own. But I still got some helpful nuggets out of it.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a good book for couples to read to better understand why they should be talking about sex and what they can do to better enjoy it.

There is some crude language in the case studies and some of the interventions they suggest are outdated.

[Jim]

Don't you just love this title?
Seen at a Goodwill in South Pittsburg, TN.

[Angie Dokos · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book was helpful. It isn’t all about sex, it’s about connection and other parts of a relationship. And as with all relationship books, communication is key!

[Shauna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good perspectives on how to built more trust and communication in a marriage, so make sex better. It had some good angles and ideas, but I didn’t love it.