Our Lady of the Fishnet Stockings

by Christopher Moore

I wrote Our Lady in 1987 after I had a dream about some soldiers firing on a village of peasants and the bullets stopping and hanging in the air. This is the only story I've ever written from a dream, and obviously that single dream image was only a scene that set off an alarm in my mind to get silly. As with Cat's Karma, this story is a little rough, and I'm not a little bit embarassed by it. Readers of my novels will be glad to see that I've gotten a little better at my craft over the years, and perhaps those of you who are aspiring writer's will get some encouragement out of the fact that you can get better. (Thank goodness). This is the first time Our Lady has appeared anywere, and probably with good reason, but for all it's flaws, I still love the title, so much, in fact, that I'm going to use it as a chapter heading on my new book [The Island of the Sequined Love Nun]. -- Christopher Moore

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Fantasy, Comedy, Short Stories

9 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 1987

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction. He grew up in Mansfield, OH, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, CA.

Moore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circumstances. Inheriting a humanism from his love of John Steinbeck and a sense of the absurd from Kurt Vonnegut, Moore is a best-selling author with major cult status.

Reviews

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was a little at sea with this, because I've never read Christopher Moore in short-story format. His signature voice that I've come to love so much doesn't come through quite so much. But there are flashes of his brand of humor. The ending didn't click on the first read, but when it did, I really enjoyed it.
Here's how I interpreted the final scene, since others seemed to be a bit nonplussed.
"'It was to stop me from doing it, not to save you,' he said."
This is Colonel Mendez speaking. He's saying that the miracle had nothing to do with Sister Octavia or Estrella. The bullets were not miraculously stopped to save them from death, they were frozen to stop Mendez from committing the heinous act. Estrella and Sister Octavia get treated as holy women because it is believed that they were saved because of their saint-like nature, which obviously, isn't true. When Mendez dies, the miracle is no longer necessary, and the bullets fall "like the leaden tears of a giggling God." Y'know, a god laughing at the silly mortals who think they understand his mysterious and divine actions.

Also, I have a PDF of this if anyone wants to read it; I really don't think Christopher Moore would mind.

[Ritika · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It was to stop me from doing it, not to save you," he said.

Just 9 pages long, this short and fast paced short story was fun. My first ever read of Christopher Moore and I am impressed!

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

Awww, I feel kind of let down by this. I just read it, right now. It's probably about 10 pages or so* all together, and I didn't really "get" it.

*I say "10 pages or so" because there are 39 pages in the .pdf file, but they all contain a single paragraph, and sometimes only a single line. No idea why this was done this way.

Moore's introduction in the beginning states that this was inspired by a dream in which bullets stop in mid-air. Which is an interesting concept... Forcefield? Miracle? Lazy bullets? Moore goes with miracle here, which stems the tale of a little village girl being sainted and educated by the church, but regardless of their education, she's determined to be who she is, no matter what. And I'd describe her as... uncouth.

There was a little humor in this story... not as much or of the type I'm used to from Moore, but still I chuckled a little bit. I think if the story was a little longer, and more fleshed out it would have been more successful. Or maybe I'm just in the mood to dislike everything. (That really could be a possibility after the day I've had, but I think that my assessment of the story is still fair.)

I didn't really get the ending... Something happened, and then that was the end, but I felt kind of lost. I read it twice, but didn't get it either time. Maybe if I had I could have bumped this up to 3 stars, but since I didn't, 2 it is.

Sorry C-Moore, can't win 'em all.

[Don Gillette · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short story was extremely enjoyable. The ending confused me a bit so I had to slow down and read it again--but that's not the author's fault; it's mine.

[Tony Rampling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a polished story but I loved it none the less.

[Marky Gee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not his best work. It seemed a bit haphazard with a lack of description. It felt a bit rushed over all.

[Chel Sky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tried this one out first (the title played no part at all)as it was a short story and was wondering what 'reading a Christopher Moore' would entail. Have to say I'm impressed and am looking forward to read more of his works.

[Mika · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick, out-of-context story, when comparing to the authors other stories. It almost feels as something normal. Might have been Moore's day of medication.

Simple and capturing. I had hoped for a alternative ending for a four-star rating.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Christopher Moore ans it was neat to see what his original witings were like.

[Charlie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short story. God works in mysterious ways. A view into Moore's unconsious.

[Aric · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very early Christopher Moore short story. You see the foundation and the framework but the rest of the house hasn't been built yet.

[La Strega · Rating 5 out of 5]

A differenza de "Il Karma del Gatto", "Nostra Signora delle Calze a Rete" mi è sembrata contenere una qual certa morale. Ho amato particolarmente il finale, secco e del tutto inaspettato.

[Jason Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

My introduction to Christopher Moore. A little odd but Entertaining.

[Amabelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

What was that? I love Christopher Moore so I'll give this a 3 star rating.

[BridgetT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for a little giggle. Let Sleeping Miracles Lie. Will ponder the ending for a while till I work it out.

[Corvinus Maximilus · Rating 2 out of 5]

As nutty as only Christopher Moore can be.

[Shadallark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, that was very interesting. Short, silly, and a nice twist at the end. Not bad for an early endeavour.

[Phil Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

ehh good but really short

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this short story online after consuming all of the Christopher Moore books at my local library. This would have been in the mid-2000s, I was ~13yo.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. Interesting short. Not bad for early work.

[Cookie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting short story.