A Thousand Days of Wonder: A Scientist's Chronicle of His Daughter's Developing Mind

by Charles Fernyhough

A father's intimate look at his daughter's developing mind from birth to age three

Unlike any other time in our lives, we remember almost nothing from our first three years. As infants, not only are we like the proverbial blank slate but our memories are like nothing sticks. In this beautifully written account of his daughter's first three years, Charles Fernyhough combines his vivid observations with a synthesis of developmental theory, re-creating what that time, lost to the memory of adults, is like from a child's perspective.

In A Thousand Days of Wonder , Fernyhough, a psychologist and novelist, attempts to get inside his daughter's head as she acquires all the faculties that make us human, including social skills, language, morality, and a sense of self. Written with a father's tenderness and a novelist's empathy and style, this unique book taps into a parent's wonder at the processes of psychological development.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Science, Psychology, Memoir, Brain, Education

272 pages, Paperback

First published February 24, 2009

About the author

Charles Fernyhough is a writer and psychologist. His non-fiction book about his daughter’s psychological development, The Baby in the Mirror, was published by Granta in 2008. His book on autobiographical memory, Pieces of Light (Profile, 2012) was shortlisted for the 2013 Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books. His latest non-fiction book, on the voices in our heads, is published by Profile/Wellcome Collection in the UK and by Basic Books (2016) in the US. He is the editor of Others (Unbound, 2019), an anthology exploring how books and literature can show us other points of view, with net profits supporting refugee and anti-hate charities.

Charles is the author of two novels, The Auctioneer (Fourth Estate, 1999) and A Box Of Birds (Unbound, 2013). His fiction has been published in several anthologies including New Writing 11 and New Writing 14. His books have been translated into twelve languages.

Charles has written for Scientific American, LA Times, TIME Ideas, Nature, New Scientist, BBC Focus, Guardian, Observer, Financial Times, Literary Review, Sunday Telegraph, Lancet, Scotland on Sunday, Huffington Post, Daily Beast and Sydney Morning Herald. He blogs for the US magazine Psychology Today and has made numerous TV and radio appearances in the UK and US, including BBC2’s Horizon, BBC Radio 4’s Start the Week, Woman’s Hour, All in the Mind and The Digital Human, and BBC World Service’s The Forum. He has acted as consultant on theatre productions on Broadway and the West End, numerous TV (BBC1 and Channel 4) and radio documentaries and several other artistic projects.

Charles is a part-time Professor of Psychology at Durham University, where he leads the interdisciplinary Hearing the Voice project, investigating the phenomenon of auditory verbal hallucinations. He has published more than a hundred peer-reviewed journal articles on topics such as inner speech, memory and child development.

Reviews

[Darrenglass · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited about this book because I heard the author on RadioLab, in a fascinating story about the neurodevelopments of babies. Unfortunately, the book did not live up to my hopes. Fernyhough is a developmental psychologist and the book promised to combine his own experiences with the science behind the first few years of a child's life. Unfortunately, it ended up being far too much memoir and far too little science for my tastes. He is a pretty good writer, but I have read plenty of better writers discussing the early years of their childrens' lives.

Perhaps it isnt fair to blame this book for not being the book I wanted it to be, but...well, why do I have to be fair?

[Christa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, an enjoyable read, and I particularly liked the direct quotes from conversations he had with his daughter. At times I was impatient with the author's philosophizing when I thought he should be focusing on the science behind his observations, which seem glossed over (particularly toward the end of the book following a somewhat dramatic event). This guy writes a lot about feelings and spirituality for a scientist. But to be fair, other people might enjoy the book because of the focus on the personal narrative and the author's trying to make sense of the world and its unknowns.

"Rules are stories; they allow events to unfold over time, with plausible contingencies" (p.176)

"[...] internal working models influence the kinds of social information that children pay attention to. In one study, securely attached children were better than their insecure peers at remembering stories depicting sensitive behavior by a caregiver. It was as though the insecure children didn't process the information as well, simply because it didn't fit with their experience. When you are securely attached, you see the world through security-tinged spectacles. An insecure child, on the other hand, sees unpredictability and ambivalence everywhere." (p.210)

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in less than a day because it was so compelling. Fernyhough, a developmental psychologist, chronicles the first three years of his daughter's life, touching on all aspects of her development but mostly focused on her mind. He intersperses episodes of her life with psychological theories as to why she might be acting the way she is and what, exactly, she is experiencing. The major question of the book is, "What is it like to be an infant or a toddler?" Fernyhough is an apt observer, an engaging writer, and an experienced researcher, all of which combine to make one of the most enjoyable books I've read in a while.

We may never truly know what goes on behind the eyes of a baby, but Fernyhough gives it his best shot, combining the methods of a scientist with the love of a father. Whether describing the chaotic bundle of sensations of a newborn infant or the cunning first lie of a three-year-old, his descriptions draw the reader in, making this one of the few non-fiction page-turners I've ever read.

[Douglas Summers-Stay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A child development psychologist combines personal observations of his own daughter with discoveries from experiments on brain development. He tries to answer the question, what is it like to be a baby? His writing style is comfortable and not forced. It was a pleasure to read.

[TinHouseBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane Chonette (Art Director of Tin House): A short while after my son was born last year I was listening to Radiolab on NPR. In the episode titled, “Voices in Your Head”, Jad Abumrad talked to psychologist and novelist, Charles Fernyhough, about the connection between thought and the voice in your head. Fernyhough talked about his book, A Thousand Days of Wonder: A Scientist’s Chronicle of His Daughter’s Developing Mind, and I immediately knew I had to get it. It’s been a year since I purchased it, but I am finally digging in to his wonderfully intimate study of memory and cognitive development. In a way, it may be too soon for me to begin the analysis of what is known and remains unknown about the tiny but complex brains of our babies, but it is reminding me to pay attention to and cherish as many of the extraordinary moments of awakening as I can as my little one defines himself. He won’t remember these days but I will.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like most narrative nonfiction, could have used some editing. I petered out 50 pages from the end, as usual, and had to return it to the library. A good read, though.

[Katherine Medbery-Oleson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book!

"Infants' social behavior comes to have meaning because we take it as having meaning. We create our babies' smiles before they do." (p. 42)

"Consciousness if everything; all we can ever know or experience comes to us through this brilliant portal. There is nothing outside it, and so losing it is losing everything. Perhaps that's why she resists sleep so fiercely..." (p. 142)

"When I asked her to recall an event from her infancy, it wasn't just going there that was important; it was coming back again. In becoming time travelers, children aren't just resigning themselves to a life lived in memory, or in some fantasy of the future: they are acquiring a passport for traveling there, and making a safe return." (p. 181)

"A certain amount of exaggeration is doubtless valuable for a mind bent on pretending. When you've got to create the reality for yourself, there is no harm in cranking it up a little." (p. 206)

"Emotions flow through toddlers like water through a sieve. Anyone who has tried to calm an overexcited child knows that a young heart has no truck with reason. Feelings come from a place that thoughts don't get to. For a toddler, there is no such thing as qualified joy. And clouds do not have silver linings." (p. 211)

"You can reach closure about what has gone, but not about what never happened." (p. 216)

"The point is, there's a story. In a way, that's all I've been trying to say." (p. 231)

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally finished this one! It's excellent, but has lots of great info and so I paused a lot to consider what I'd read.

The book is nonfiction, laced liberally with the narrative story of the author's daughter Athena's first three years of life. Fernyhough is a neuroscientist, and includes a wealth of science fact and citations to explain his observations of little Athena.

Not having children myself, I found it fascinating to learn what many parents probably see through watching their kid grow up. But I think parents would enjoy this book too, since it gives depth and understanding to the things that seem commonplace, obvious. The book is both a chronicle of early childhood, and a mirror to ourselves (since we were all babies at one point in time).

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much fun to read. It's a beautifully written narrative of the author's real-life child interspersed with accessible explanations of the psychology behind her various stages of development. At the end you feel like you've made good friends with a chummy but brilliant person.

[Edward Ferrari · Rating 3 out of 5]

Laughably overwritten, but the subject matter carries it. Will probably return at some point, but sounds like I'd enjoy the books that inspired it more than the book itself.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tender and delightful peek over the shoulder of a loving father as he watches his daughter become a child.

[Charlotte]

Unfinished

[Jacob Zarate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a cute book- a father’s memoir of his daughter’s early years sprinkled with science and philosophy. Took me so long to read because I didn’t want it to end.

[Lindsey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book blew so hard! Ugh! I had such high expectations since it was recommended via an interview with the author on Radiolab. There was really no science in this at all. Some psychology, yes but really this was a book full of philosophical whines about what we don't know!

Maybe I would have enjoyed this more if this book were more generally on child development rather than just his child's development. Or maybe I would have enjoyed this more if I had kids? I don't know but when he calls his 3 year old a "little scientist," a "little novelist", and even a "time-traveler like Dr. Who," I couldn't help but think that this kind of crap is why I will never think psychology is a real science. Ugh, can't wait to read something good so I can shed this bad taste of psychology.

There were some good GRE words though, his vocabulary was pretty much this book's only redeeming quality.

[Patra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really, really, really enjoyed reading this book. It was such a refreshing change from all the other books about child development. The author, who had studied child development, decided to narrate his experience of watching his first child's development from when she was first born until she was three-years-old. His writing was beautiful and inspiring. It filled me with wonder to think that I get to participate in the miracle of another human being figuring out who they are and what this world is all about. Some of the explanations were a bit complicated, probably because the author had a background in human development and I don't and sometimes he did not seem to attempt to simplify things for people like me. I still really liked this book though and I want to own a copy of it someday.

[Robin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I came into this book with certain expectations. I was expecting a light, anecdotal, informative book about child development from birth to toddler years-- an expectation based on an interview I heard with the author on Radio Lab (aired on my local NPR station). The reality is that this book is more a personal memoir of a man raising his daughter with his musings on her development through the filter of his research and studies. It lacked the lightness and the generic fun that I really enjoyed in the interview and it ended up feeling too personal for me to be able to apply it to my own experience. So, after 2 months and only 139 pages read (and .40 in late fees at my library), I'm calling this one done.

[Beverly Hollandbeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard about this book from someone being interviewed on NPR and thought it sounded fun. I thought it would be a father's observations and log of his daughter's first three years of life. Well, it was that, but not the bulk of the book. For each milestone she reached, the father researched and researched and filled the rest of the chapter with theories and conclusions about child development or brain development from psychologists, behaviorists, neuroscientists, development psychologists, and, of course, Piaget. It was always nice to finish a chapter and get back, however briefly, to the little girl. I like reading science, especially neuroscience, but this was a little overwhelming.

[AJ Conroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to return to the library, but enjoyed the first few chapters that I read. This book stands out from the others of this ilk because the author assumes that the reader has a brain, so many of these books spoon-feed science. The most useful insight I learned was that young children don't have internal monologues. Instead, the verbalizing one hears is the child processing information. So when your child touches the forbidden object and says "no", he isn't talking to you, but remembering he isn't supposed to touch something.

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although I thought Fernyhough's prose was really strong, this book did not work for me. I got some great advice early on from my midwife - don't listen to folks who tell you your baby isn't smiling, it's gassy; your baby isn't looking at you with love, it's developing its short-range eyesight, etc. It's hard enough to peacefully, confidently connect with a non-verbal new family member without telling yourself the emotive signals you feel intuitively you're receiving are merely biological developments. So yeah for me kind of off-putting and distancing.

[Stephen Blevans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life History and Philosophical Meditation

Much more than a "scientist's chronicle" this mix of developmental psychology, linguistics and philosophy is so full of memorable moments and turns of phrase that it rises to the level of serious literature.

[Brenna Griffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. And I love the idea of this book. But whether it was because my attention span is shrinking as the mother of a young toddler or I was always reading it late at night, I was never fully sucked in. There are some beautiful moments. I especially liked the penultimate chapter about grief and love and children. But as a whole, I don't think I can give more than 3 stars to a book that took me nearly a year to finish because I kept abandoning it for other things.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read more than half of this and loved it, but I was trying to read it in tandem with my own child's growth, and he grew up faster than I had time to spend reading, so he outpaced the book. And now, I'm on to reading things more relevant to where he is. So I gave up on this book in the middle but I still think it's a great book, and think I will pick it up and finish it one day!

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe a bit more memoir and less science than I was looking for - it would have been interesting to know more about many of the studies mentioned. The whole book has a bit of a sad wistful feel. Interesting tidbits here and there.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

In infancy, we are absent from our memories. We can live, but we can not yet relive.

For me, it will be a particular kind of wistfulness: that warm, anxious desolation that comes from leaving something you love.

[Matthew Bakker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Provides an interesting summary of the major lessons babies and toddlers have to learn - language, mind-reading, concepts of time, self and otherness, which things in the world can act with intention, etc.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly, I read this book at night before bed, and that was good. The science sections really put me out. He romanticizes his child a little more than I can relate to, but overall, he had an interesting perspective as a parent and a scientist.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the idea behind this book -- the combination of parenting memoir and developmental psychology. But I occasionally felt like the book's two goals fought with each other more than they enhanced each other.

[Kathryn]

Hum. Awaiting the reviews...

[Deyna · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little heavier on the fatherly reflections of his amazing daughter than it was on the actual scientific observations. It didn't draw me in as much as I thought it would.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply amazing... if the library ever lets me have it again, I will do another read!