How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know

by Stacy Kaiser

“ How to Be a Grown Up should be required reading for anyone wishing to be (or trying to raise) an emotionally-fit, responsible adult in the modern world. In clear and simple language this book provides everything you need to know to have a successful life.” — Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret In How to Be a Grown Up , Stacy Kaiser, the renowned psychotherapist from Celebrity Fit Club and The Lifetime Channel’s DietTribe , reveals the ten critical areas that impact our success, happiness, and fulfillment. In the vein of the books of Dr. Laura, Cheryl Richardson, and Dr. Phil, How to Be a Grown Up is an effective blueprint for realizing your own best potential.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

272 pages, Hardcover

First published May 18, 2010

About the author

Stacy Kaiser is a licensed psychotherapist, author, relationship expert, body language expert, and media personality with more then 100 television appearances in the last year on major networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS, HLN, MSN, NBC, and FOX. She is Access Hollywood’s resident Body Language Expert and has counseled people on Tyra Banks’s, Greg Behrendt’s, and Larry Elder’s nationally syndicated talk shows, as well as on The Real Housewives of Orange County, VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, and Lifetime’s DietTribe.

Stacy has a reputation for bringing a unique mix of thoughtful and provocative insight to a wide range of topics. She has worked with thousands of individuals, couples,and families for the last twenty years through her private practice, corporate consulting, and on television. Her philosophy for growth and change emphasizes being honest with yourself and others, and taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. She believes with the right techniques, guidance, and support, anyone can make lasting changes.

After providing counseling to thousands of individuals both in her private practice and the media, Stacy has identified ten critical areas needed to develop the skills necessary to become a successful, happy and fulfilled adult. In her new book How to Be a Grown Up: The Ten Secret Skills Everyone Needs to Know, published by HarperCollins, Stacy opens with a provocative quiz that helps the reader gain insight into his or her current level of lifemastery. In the following chapters, she breaks down the readers strengths and weaknesses to guide them toward improving in the ten areas so that they can maximize their success andultimately their life.

Since 1994, Stacy Kaiser has also worked with corporations, public institutions, government agencies, and philanthropic organizations, and has assisted the FBI with,communication skills and the Los Angeles Fire Department with tools to counsel people after 9/11. In addition to her numerous television appearances, her expertise and perspective have been solicited by major corporations, public institutions, government agencies, and philanthropic organizations.

Reviews

[Becca]

I decided I don't really want to be a grown-up after all.

[Zubie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read and a lot of helpful advice. The main themes of this book are to build a support group, be financially responsible, avoid or overcome addiction, and to take action and be flexible. I recommend this book to anyone interested in improving their adult lives.

[Bea Elwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really liked this book. Would be a great book to give a young adult because it gives really good advice and things to think about and work towards, but it was also good to read as an adult to figure out where you might be avoiding responsibility and are not adulting as much as you could be.

[kaila m · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book!

[morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stacy Kaiser is a popular life coach/therapist who regularly makes appearances on talk TV. I didn't pick up this book BECAUSE of that, but rather because of the title. I often feel like I haven't really completed "growing up" despite being in my mid-20s, so this book and the popularity of Kaiser seemed like a good combination.

The book is written pretty casually, which I like. It wasn't filled with lots of explanation of the cognitive psychology of maturation - this is definitely an ACTION-focused book.

Each chapter (focused on one "step", such as learning to be alone, managing your finances, being able to forge relationships) was written in the context of a related patient story or set of stories, explaining the causes of their distress, causes of general distress about a situation. Then, a journaling or reviewing action for one's own personal habits was introduced and reviewed, then a few action steps to move further and "grow up" in that process.

Overall, this was a pretty watered-down version of the major "life lessons" found in most self-help books. It's not very specific in the slightest: Kaiser even repeatedly mentions with specific instances that can "get more complicated", one needs to seek one-on-one therapy to work out specific issues. This may save her from having so much detail, but it does a disservice in the 220-someodd pages to not address those issues in the slightest.

Verdict: Okay, but for beginners/people with uncomplicated life stage issues.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I forgot to review this. It was a good book, but it started getting annoying because she writes that you should get rid of things in your life that bother you or are hard to deal with. Like friends who are extra baggage or a marriage that isn't working. I think the MORE grown up thing to do would be to learn how to deal with these things/people/situations rather than getting rid of them. I think understanding anything a little bit more helps you appreciate it and love it better. That goes for people, too.

What I got from it the most was that I throw tantrums like I used to when I was a baby way to often...I'm learning to take care of myself and learning to react better. I'm so grown up!

[Bridget · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this. Timing may have been everything, though. It seemed more of a motivation book than self help to me, which may be why I liked it. She is not condescending nor does she allow excuses. This is not the book for someone with major issues, either. But if you need someone to kick your a$$ into gear, Ms. Kaiser can give you a shove. Some may say it is all just common sense but those are the fully developed grown ups talking. I do find myself quoting her often and have considered buying copies for friends who need a push.

[Lorri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A majority of self-help books are so full of themselves that it's a put off, but this book was not only interesting, but was motivating. She doesn't coddle the reader, which I don't really care for. At the beginning of the book is a long quiz ( I know, you don't like quizzes/tests, but it is fun) that helps you reflect on your life, see where you are and what needs improvement. All of the points talked about are things we all should be practicing in our day to day lives.

[mehg-hen · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a lot of exclaimation points and certain parts feel like shaming yourself for shaming yourself, which is confusing, but overall I thought it was great. Get your shit together, deal with your anxiety, don't date dickheads, pay for stuff, your problems are your own and be a good friend. Nothing earth shattering but I liked it and it's fun to read seriously on the subway in the middle of grownups and pretend like it's a russian novel.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a helpful book. It is well written and enjoyable to read. I have some good ideas in my four pages of notes. It doesn't cover any area thoroughly, but it is only 250 pages. Want more dept on a topic, buy another book on that specific topic. The best idea is to take "positive action", and start doing what will improve your situation. Better then just thinking positive thoughts. Better then staying in a harmful rut.

[J DeMarco · Rating 2 out of 5]

Picked up off the new arrival shelf at the library. Her points are obvious and I don't agree with many of the ways she presents things. But sometimes we just need to be told what we already know to start doing it again.

[Stacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were a lot of good things about this book, but at the same time, Stacy seems to ignore those who have mental illness, such as anxiety and depression. None of those are mentioned. Although I did find the chapter on money helpful. Still, this is information I think I will go to the experts for.

[Robin]

I tthnk it's time... Don't you??

[Rachelbpg]

adult, self help/ motivation. It was fine for a little bit of self analysis. Not breaking any new ground here.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty standard.

[Sarah Abbott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this very helpful.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this for the most part. It was easy to understand and I was able to sit and think to myself about the things she was asking to evaluate ourselves on. Very fast paced and easy read.