What Do Women Want?

by Susie Orbach, Luise Eichenbaum

This book highlights the fact that women are brought up to understand men's emotional needs but men are not brought up to understand women's.

Genres: Feminism, Psychology, Nonfiction, Gender, Womens

Paperback

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

Dr. Susie Orbach - the therapist who treated Diana, Princess of Wales, for her eating disorders; the founder of the Women's Therapy Center of London; a former columnist for The Guardian; a visiting professor at the London School of Economics; and the author of 1978 best-seller Fat is a Feminist Issue - is, aside from Sigmund Freud, probably the most famous psychotherapist to have ever set up couch in Britain.

Reviews

[Guy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This went a long way to affirming my observation of the interpersonal difficulties I have often observed amongst women in an office environment. I don't think it taught me anything really new, but it was sure nice to have women describe what I was observing that contradicted the doe-eyed myth that if only women ran the world the world would be fantastic. Women are people, too, and sex of either gender does not guarantee either the ability to lead or to be compassionate. However I found the writing weaker, in this book, than in Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue, but a worth while read nonetheless.

[Georgia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t recommend talking to me in 2021 unless you want to discuss emotional dependency needs

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I almost dismissed this book based on the title and am glad I didn't. Weaving dependency themes through psychological development and gender differentiation, it's the most fascinating book I've read this year. Case examples clearly illustrate the authors' points. I'd recommend this to both men and women. My only minor gripe is that the last chapter exploring "new directions" had too much saccharin.

[Sofía · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este es un libro indispensable para entender la dependencia e independencia, en términos de relaciones interpersonales. He aprendido mucho: sobre todo, a entender por qué a veces me sentía de una manera u otra. Pienso que es un llamado a cambiar nuestra forma de relacionarnos con los otros, a comprendernos, y a ver que lo que llamamos "dependencia"no es debilidad, es algo necesario para los seres humanos. Por supuesto, entender que la dinámica del "dar y recibir" cariño nos afecta tiene raíces en las construcciones culturales del género otorga una perspectiva muy beneficiosa. Ojalá encuentre más lectores, porque ayuda mucho a comprendernos y comprender a los otros. Ayuda a construir una nueva concepción del amor.

[Raha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over 10 years ago and found it so refreshing and eye opening, making me see the male perspective.

[izad]

REF: Ética para Celia de Ana de Miguel.

[Diana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I agree with her premise -that few men know how to meet our (or other's) need for closeness and tenderness. Women learn this, men don't. And they don't realise "how powerful these needs are" because they have been met "by mothers and wives". I would add friends as well.
I think that raises the importance of female friends for women, but we would love to get it from men as well.
I felt a little disappointed, that Susie Orbach was so good, and in tune with women in her earlier book "Fat is A Feminist Issue", and that didn't quite come through here.

[Renata · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the main theory presented in the first few pages of this book absolutely revealing, however I don’t think one gains anything in reading beyond the first chapter. The clinical examples given in the subsequent chapters feel overexploited in meaning and there is an overall presumptuous sense to the way they are presented.

[Kate Herbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every body in the whole world should read this book. It explains clearly and conscisely how and why gender difference is created and perpetually imposed and because it is a radical theory, it offers humanity the tools to disolve this oppressive dynamic within the human species.

[Chris Sowick · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic.

[Olga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Revealing, a counter proposition to Freudian school, and yet so simple and intuitive, a must read.