Outline of My Lover : A Novel

by Douglas A. Martin

In the sleepy town of Athens, Georgia, a young man goes off to a college miseducation and is drawn into a world of rich vicarious living. The unspoken relationship between this adolescent and his rock star boyfriend fast becomes a tale of world tours and plush continental hotel rooms. When the relationship falters, real life fills in the outline of the boys expectations.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Queer, Gay, Summer, American

Paperback

First published May 1, 2000

Reviews

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Douglas Martin's Outline of My Lover is a inventive reflection on how our pasts, presents, and futures shape our love and our lovers.

As a child in Georgia, the narrator knows he is gay and experiments with older men. Meanwhile his home life is a mess as he deals with an abusive father. The narrator runs away, grows up, and falls in love with his Lover, a famous and much older actor and producer. This love shapes the narrator even as he knows the impermanence of it. This Lover is shaped by who he was and is also shaping him, teaching him about himself and how to love.

Outline of My Lover is experimental; it is literally written in the form of an outline. The prose is written in outline form too but it flows so naturally once you are used to it. This little book is impressive for how deeply it confronts elements of our humanity and for the beautiful, fully human story it tells. Try something new and read this one.

[Ricky Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

A literary tell-all about a real life queer love affair between the author and a famous 90's rock star, enough said. This emotional, intimate and unadorned documentation of an ephemeral and formative relationship our unnamed narrator had with an international superstar stands in stark contrast to the pop stardom and glamorous globe-trotting that ostensibly characterized their time together. Martin could've written a splashy expose' bragging about his living out the gay groupie fantasy we've all had at some point. He could've dragged his famous ex's name through the mud that so many other jilted lovers have spun into their own heartbreak-laden gold. That he chose not to name his lover but instead to give us a rough outline of the emotions and memories that still linger in the empty shadow in place of the man he once loved, is both honorable and artful in its tender approach.

To be fair, it is pretty clear who Martin is referring to if you are familiar with queer rock stars of the nineties. I had no clue this was even based on a real story but began to slowly develop a theory that Google quickly confirmed. The realization that this was, at least, a semi-autobiographical tale only deepened the emotional resonance of Martin's first love and first real heartbreak. It is palpable from the onset that this fantastic love affair could never last but that ominous underpinning lent the narrative a necessary grounding point from which the reader can be whisked away along with the narrator on this glamorous and romantic escapade. If it wasn't a true story it would be hard to accept as anything but a fanboy fantasy. Martin's visceral account of the doubt, longing, passion and authentic connection he felt imbues the story with a realistic rawness and melancholy that perfectly capture the relatable haunting that is left after losing your first love.

Martin's writing is bold in its adherence to a sparse and anecdotal style that emulates a writer's furious first sketch of a novel. This minimalistic play on form could have tainted the novel with a stifling distant voice or a vague evasiveness that might become frustrating. Thankfully, Martin writes with a poetic flourish that evinces complex interior thoughts and rich, emotive nuance encapsulated in succinct, efficient prose. This compact novel often reads like a book of poetry. It doesn't play by the rules but makes up new ones as it goes. It has the propulsive swiftness of poetry as well which makes this a quick cut that slices right to the bone.

Outline of My Lover hits on many levels. It's simplistic style belies the intricacies of its insight and the heft of its emotional acuity. Martin is playful in experimenting with form and turning phrases in on and over themselves. He isn't just telling his story but singing it to his readers. This is a breakup song in the shape of a novel. One that I will surely play over and over, hoping to glean a communal catharsis in its ode to the loss of that first great love. In its spastic syntax it mirrors the fumbling and feeble attempt to hold onto an impossible connection. In its wistful one-liners, it gifts the reader with compulsively quotable phrases to perfectly put into words those ubiquitous wounds that come with heartbreak. This novel is a mixtape dedicated to the inevitable trauma of young love that you know, in being the first, could never be the last.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the unique language of this book and though it was the size,shape and cover art of the actual book (combined with an interest in the fact that Martin's other book is a novel about the Bronte brother- he has always fascinated me) that got me to pick it up I was pleased with what I found inside. I was often confused by the chronology because, I believe, Martin intended it to be that way. The plot moves forward slowly while doubling back on itself to continue exploring moments and feelings, to continue fleshing each one out. The novel covers a precise period of time and really just a single relationship between the protagonist and an older man who is a huge celebrity. Although the back cover and perhaps even Martin would have you believe that the novel is about celebrity and our culture's fascination with it I did not find that element to be very compelling or even all that central. The unusual sentence structure and indirect course forward of the narration is worth inspection. That alone should get you through the first section which also has the most detail about the narrator's family and happens to be that part I found myself most moved by. There is a sentence I did not think of much at the time but recalled later as a life-moment well captured by Martin's language. The narrator remarks on the oddness of his mother's, sister's and own listening to a country album about divorce in the midst of their actual abandonment by their father. I wont try to paraphrase (I don't have the book on me) but instead mention that there are many such moments in the book, both completely not about the relationship with a celebrity and about just that, that are all the more poignant because of the unusual voice through which they are conveyed.

[Matthew Gallaway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, haunting, and poetic account of a young man's four-year relationship with an older man, who happens to be the lead singer of ____. Tragic indictment of fame redeemed by the beauty of the storytelling.

[Kim]

the gay version of duras's the lover... with a celebrity-obsession twist. experimental. awesome.

[Tabby Healey · Rating 4 out of 5]

the writing in this book is genuinely so gorgeous and unlike anything I've ever read. At times I got a little lost but it's the type of book where you just roll with it. Honestly so devastating but that's one of the things that made it so good

[emma rowan · Rating 4 out of 5]

i’ve wanted to read this for a while and for some reason i always thought it was a memoir; lyrical, detached, kind of bleak, idk

[Lora Yip · Rating 5 out of 5]

Punching air

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know if this purely a literary work or is meant, on some level to be a memoir, and does it actually matter? Readers of my generation alway accepted that there were elements of an author's life and experiences in their works but we identified memoir with autobiography. I know it is not so cut and dried any more but I am not sure where this leaves us with definitions or with criticism. To say in a review that a work under consideration is an utterly unlikely tale and a farrago of self indulgence with unlikely stories contrived to curry favour and gain the readers sympathy etc. is fine if it is a work of fiction but if the author is relating what happened and was experienced by them then my calling or implying it is an improbable story carries different weight.

When it comes to this short novel I don't think it matters because the book's strength is of literature, which is more important and greater than fact. Literature is a truth more lasting than fact. I loved this little work and have read it several times and each time is a little more beautiful than the last.

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely brilliant. It was another one of those life changing books for me that came along just when I needed it the most. It also doesn't hurt that R.E.M. is one of my favorite bands in the entire world and learning a little more about the behind the scenes of Michael Stipe's early career was awesome too.

[Bayneeta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Artsy little experimental creative writing coming-of-age piece; though the protagonist hasn't really come of age by the end. Still very much floundering.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Couldn’t help but feel the book overstayed its welcome... ironic (or perhaps intentional) given the subject matter

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

One star deducted for "He enters me deeper than even my father leaving me." Dear GOD.

[Red · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book changed my life. and i still don't own it. but i think it's amazing

[Daniel Sheen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unpopular opinion incoming, lol. I was really looking forward to this, and it was super disappointing on so many levels. And yes, I know this is meant to be an outline of a novel, as alluded to in the title, but I was at least expecting basic English language skills to be followed, because I've never read anything with such blocky, stiff, stop/start, jumbled up prose. And I swear a lot of it wasn't even English. It's like it was written in a foreign language, and then someone used Google to translate each word directly. You know how that goes? It was exactly like that, and therefore the prose was incredibly offputting and actually quite difficult to read. And then, because it was an outline, you get all the sandwich parts of the story and none of the meat. So nothing juicy, nothing important, and certainly nothing insightful or interesting. Plus, the narrator comes across as being sooooo whiny. It's just constant repetitive whining, for almost half the book. So I don't know what book all these other people read, but for me, this was an irritating, badly written, whiny novella which told me absolutely nothing at all about what I actually wanted to know. It's only getting 2 stars because apparently it's a true story. Sorry, not sorry :/

[jack cain · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a quick and interesting read! Read it in just an afternoon. As a massive fan of the quote unquote ~lover~ it was very interesting to pin point when and what was happening in the singers life, at the times the author was with him. I do wonder how much is embellished but honestly none of that matters because the story was very good. I saw myself an awful lot in the author's story, especially being around the age he is during it. Also the fact that he was only about twenty-six when this was published, which is very astounding considering this reads as someone who is far beyond their years.

[Sam Small · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this all in one day. Martin’s auto-fictional, lyrical prose is full of enjambed sentences that reveal both a genuine naivety as well as a relatable, wavering faith (belief, not commitment) in his relationship with his rockstar boyfriend (Michael Stipe of R.E.M). Much like the inspiration to this novel— Duras’ The Lover — this tiny book made me cry. First love is so painful!!!!

[chantal · Rating 4 out of 5]

the sort of book you think you can blaze through but the prose is written such that you go back over certain lines (at least i did). unlike most other books with this quality, it has a simple, elegant style. it's a memoir so The Meaning is there, though there seems to be something else going on. kinda sad. would recommend.

[Aliesha · Rating 3 out of 5]

very poetic w lots of beautifully written moments :) my main dislike was that I had a hard time connecting to the main relationship of the book so it took me a while to get into, but I loved the depictions of familial relations and wish there’d been more of it <3

[nervousyoungsam · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I can never see certain people again in the same light, feel the same privileged place I once occupied in his arms. Where there have been others like me he left.”

#michael stipe/narrator #hurt no comfort #rock star au

[Garden Utensil]

meh

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

potentially the saddest thing ever?

[Adelaide Hurwitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the way Martin writes—part memoir, part novel, part poetry. It’s beautiful, ephemeral, and intimate

[tastypinata · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'M OBSESSED! magnificent language, interesting style, just wonderful. poverty was talked about so subtly and still so so directly somehow. a new favourite for sure.

[ice_butch .jpg · Rating 4 out of 5]

that's me in the cornerrrr that's me in the spotlight losing my religionnnnn

[Toby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made me pause several times to be like wow language is a beautiful thing

[Lærke Lykke · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5⭐️
delikat og smukt sprog men tilegner sig også et bestemt publikum. eksperimental men også lidt for luftig en gang imellem.

[Luke Babbitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

WRECKED ME

[Scout Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Instant. Top. Ten. Genre bending, beautiful, heartbreaking, queer, beautiful again.

[Jaret Ledford · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would like to revisit this book. I found the writing to be very interesting and fluid in a way I’ve never seen. However, I found the story to be very upsetting, I just think I lacked sympathy for the protagonist. I don’t think anyone should be wasting their life on someone who doesn’t make their own life their main priority.