A Most Uncommon Degree of Popularity

by Kathleen Gilles Seidel

Lydia Meadows, a former lawyer turned full-time mother, is startled to discover that her daughter Erin is one of the popular girls, a tight foursome whose mothers are also great friends. Lydia has always thought of popular girls as ambitious little manipulators who enjoy being cruel. But Erin is kind and well-adjusted. Maybe this popularity thing wont be so bad after all. Then a new student ruthlessly targets Erin to boost her own popularity, and Lydia wonders what to do when her daughters phone stops ringing. And the uneasiness among the girls begins to affect the friendship of the mothers even though they are all grown women who should know better. Has their driven energy, once directed toward their careers, turned into an obsession with the social lives of their daughters?

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Contemporary, Ebooks, Young Adult, Realistic Fiction, Romance

320 pages, Paperback

First published March 21, 2006

Reviews

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved, loved, loved this book! A friend recommended it to me, and I was hooked almost immediately! It has been a long time since I read a book in less than 24 hours - I just couldn't put it down. I am trying to figure out which part of the book I connected with the most, was it the middle school mean girls, or the mom's friendships affected by their daughters friendships, or the 'politics' of pta moms..., maybe it was all of it, which is why it was so believeable. This book could ring true in any middle school in the country - private or public. Who doesn't remember the pain of those middle school years when it comes to friends and the 'popular girls'? With the story being told by the point of view of one of the mothers, and my own kids right around that age - it is so easy to empathize and understand these parents and their actions (except Mary Paige and her daughter Faith). I also liked that the author brought into question the relationship between working moms and stay-at-home moms : are we all on the same team or not? The narrator is also struggling a bit with her identity - she chooses to stay home, but what or who is she without her career as a lawyer, and how does she achieve balance in her life? I loved it - I've felt those same feelings as a stay-at-home mom (how she feels when at her husband's business party someone asks her "what do you do?"). Anyway, it's a quick, entertaining read, and I'd recommend it to anyone!

[LeeAnne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Four suburban "soccer moms" and their middle-school-aged daughters struggle to figure out where they belong as their friendships fall apart over due to significant shifts in each of their status, power and popularity.

I live in the same location as the characters in this book and when I read the book I had two middle-school-aged daughters enrolled in a local Independent School. My kids played sports against many of the schools mentioned in this book.

Relational aggression seems to invoke more emotional and academic difficulties for girls in middle school than any other age group. There are a number of popular press articles, books, and movies that have focused on the issue of relational aggression in girls: Queen Bees and Wannabes and Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, being the most notable.

I was really hoping the plot of this novel would realistically depict what happens to girls during these changes in middle school, as well as how things change afterwards. Unfortunately, this books wraps everything up in the most perfect pristine bow, it all felt way too cute and way too artificial.

[Laura Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hadn't heard of this book therefore no expectations, just found it on the new books in at the library. Surprisingly I was so impressed with Seidel's fictional story which read as a sociological study of girls and mothers. Sure there were stereotypes, but that was so affirming in recognizing how to "cope" with similar personalities and situations as the mother of a girl. Seidel's descriptions observations were stinging, humorous and poignant in a non-sappy way. I will recommend this book to friends.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This books delves into the cliques that develop so early in childhood, and the impact on the excluded children and also their mothers whose happiness is so vested in the children's. Good read.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

Such a stupid book 😒

[Emma]

The only reason for writing a review on this HORRIBLE book is that I hope I can save someone from wasting their time and energy. I hate myself for not being able to put books down before finishing them even when I HATE them, I really need to learn that is ok not to finish a book.

This book is the epitome of entitlement, self-absorbed behaviors and shallowness. The book is about 4 friends who have 4 daughters that are best friends and they go to the same school and live in the perfect city, go to the perfect school and their lives are just perfect, I get it! But I don't need to read about how everyone's kitchen is decorated, painted, furnished and adorned! Paragraphs of very detailed descriptions on their houses and backyards and parties or school events 🙄 and then to read that they're only middle class?? Yeah, nope, doubt middle class people have boxes of wine glasses for when they entertain? Just spare buffet tables and chairs and all the decorations? So out of touch!

Then this Lydia person who's I guess the main character spends her entire time fixing everyone's life and meddling because "it takes a village" sure it does, but man, you women can't change a light bulb without having to call your 3 friends!!! She is a full-time mother but she just to be a lawyer but now she is so bored with her life that she is everywhere and she is worse than her 14 year old wanting to be the most popular girl 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I'm so angry about how stupid this book is that all my thoughts are just a mess, just don't read it, just stop yourself, I'm sure you can find a WAY better book by closing your eyes and just grabbing the 1st thing on a shelf.

[Anne Southwark · Rating 5 out of 5]

You really will like this novel if you love Jane Austen. It's not only got the snarky humorous social commentary, it's also got the gentlewoman's approach to dealing with problems. The heroines of the book make the best decisions they can, take the high road, and hope the villains will hoist themselves on their own petard (or just go away and die somewhere).

I picked this up for the twist of a mother being surprised and horrified by the sudden realization that HER daughter is one of the popular girls at school, but read it all the way through with delight...because the child takes a spectacular (and relatable) fall to a mean girl, and puts her mom in increasingly awkward mom-group situations on both sides of the social fence.

Whether you've lived in New England and experienced the snobby tension between old money, new money and no money - or not - this is a great book.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a parent of school-aged children with friends, I could really relate to the struggles of the main character. She tries to do whatever she thinks is best for them by getting them into the right schools, onto the right sports teams and getting them together with the right friends. The main character was given a good balance between getting too involved in her children's lives and letting them make decisions for themselves. It is such a power struggle for parent's today regarding parenting and this book was surprisingly entertaining.

[Florascrap · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be very engaging and well-written. As the mother of two girls (who are not yet school-aged), I found some sound "advice" in the author's message to not get too wrapped up in the petty school-aged drama and to focus more on the marriage that will be left when the kids are out of school. Some of the author's descriptions were very on-point. This was more than chick-lit in my opinion and the end resolved most of the issues she covered to my satisfaction.

[Chels · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, but I'm sure it's due to the fact that I'm about to have a girl. It deals with the dynamics of a mother and her friends, who also happen to be the mothers of her 12 year old daughters friends. (I hope that made sense.) It made me think about things that I'm sure I will be facing in the next 10 or 11 years when my daughter hits the pre-teen phase - like popularity, clothes, self-image, ect.

[POIOMof2]

It was a delightful novel to read. I am so glad I came across this book. It was humorous and clever.

[Sharlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. A must read for any mother of a preteen/teenager or middle school teacher. Amazing!!

[Dahven white · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first, I thought this book was trivial, but I came to believe that this was the Jane Austen of carpool politics, writing of the social life and private concerns of private school mothers.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was written just intelligently enough for me to enjoy it, but I'm still embarrassed to tell anyone I liked it because it definitely falls into the "chick lit" category. Also, the first 10 pages and around page 42 were very #firstworldproblems. The heroine describes her upscale home and lifestyle without a hint of gratitude or joy. That almost made me put down the book and makes me hesitate to recommend this book to anyone who isn't financially comfortable themselves.

With the exception of those sections mentioned above, it was a very fast and compelling read. I read it in 2 days without really trying. It was hard to put down. I did find myself becoming a bit neurotic about my girls while reading this book. So, I don't know if it was the best influence.

I connected with the main character as a high achieving, financially secure woman who gave up her career to be a stay-at-home-mom. I found the brief but insightful comments on meritocrats interesting. I connected with some of her thoughts, though I would be embarrassed to admit it publicly. I disagreed with a lot of her boundaries and parenting decisions. I also read lots of parenting books and wonder what life will be like when my girls reach their teen years.

Just to restate this, I definitely disagree with many of her parenting choices (not strict about things that matter and too focused on emotions) and her lack of personal boundaries. I was angry that she lets others bully her, especially the photograph incident and letting others trash her for not doing them favors. She seems way too involved in everyone else's lives and needs.

This would be a good book club book because it prompted lots of thoughts on parenting, adult female friendships and social dynamics of private schools.

The back cover calls this "an unabashed chronicle of the rules, rituals and pitfalls of raising a daughter". In a subtle way, it was. But there was no explicit discussions of manners or social mores. We just see the main character navigate through life in an upscale community.

I spotted one typo on page 175. There was a comma (instead of a period) at the end of a sentence. Otherwise, it was cleanly and intelligently written.

The book description focuses on the daughter's social standing and how that effects the mother's relationships with her friends. That was the first part of the book. But I liked that the book continued and we get to see her marriage and life outside of the children. By the end, we see that she is more well rounded than just her children and their school. I really liked that. And I liked how the book ended - with the decisions she made and the focus she had.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I had first read about this book, I thought that it would be worth a read, and I'm glad that I gave it a chance! The book talks about Lydia and her family; her husband Jamie (a lawyer who has just taken on a high-profile criminal case), her daughter Erin (a sixth-grader who is having trouble with her friends), and her son Thomas (a second-grader who loves to play). The book talks mostly about Lydia's close-knit group of friends; Blair, Mimi, and Annalise, and their interactions with one another as a new mother, Mary Paige, and her daughter Faith, are introduced to the school. With Faith's introduction, Erin's world is rocked upside down, as Faith makes accusations against certain individuals, and wants to pull Erin and her friends apart, with the intention of becoming the most popular girl in the sixth-grade. The book touches upon many sensitive subjects, such as harassment, divorce, jealousy, and puberty. I loved how the author talked about each character in such detail, giving us a close look at how difficult (or easy) life can be when being raised in a private school, such as Alden. There were a few surprises in the book which I didn't expect, and will definitely knock your socks off as well!

[Chelsea Johnston · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mindless read for a rainy day, quick and to the point. Very predictable plot but also realistic. A new light on popularity and how it's not always a good thing. It's not a terrible book, overall it has its moments.

A group of soccer mom's and their daughters navigate growing up and the ups and downs of being part of the "popular" crowd which is unknowingly thrust upon them. The book focusing more on the mother's than their daughters although they are the cause for most of the plot.

Like I said this book is a quick and easy read for any book lover. However the plot is predictable and even the surprise at the end isn't really a surprise. The main conflict is solved rather quickly and all is semi good in the end.

I think the main thing is that Lydia the main mother came off most of the time as too whiney. Lydia started off with potential then slowly began to lose steam through the novel. The message girls can be more than just pretty they should also be smart and should choose smarts over looks is a good idea but was not executed well as the main character sees herself as nothing more than a mom than to prove the point adds...BUT I WAS ONCE A LAWYER! Smh although a strong message in general could have been better written and give this main momma a REAL backbone.

[Laura Kay Sherman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like the storyline was very detached and that the author didn’t quite know how to end the novel. Her style of writing flowed nicely, and her imagery often impressed me. I will say I was disappointed in the way she initially developed the characters, and that there wasn’t much character growth towards the end for characters other than the main character. As a local to Northern Virginia, I did enjoy reading how she portrayed the separation of classes within D.C., because almost all of them were impossibly accurate. I really tried to like this book, but it felt like I was reading something written by a whiny, self-righteous soccer mom.

[Chy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but there was something stopping me and I'm not quite sure what it was. I think partly it was the main character was so awful and unlikable. While reading it I kept wanting to scream "shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!!" I also found myself thinking way too much reading this how well #firstworldproblems described her. It seemed like all she did was whine and let people walk over her and do everything BUT mind her own business. Perhaps had it been written with from another perspective it would have been better? I'm not sure.

[Nancy Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book at a library sale. I was not really expecting more than entertainment while without power following Hurricane Sally, but this is a truly well written book. Some things are a bit dated, but the daughter in the story was close in age to my daughter in the same time period AND we lived in Arlington for a time so many DC and Virginia details hit home!

[Debbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book I found when cleaning out my bookshelves. I didn’t care for the characters and the plot was rather uninspiring. But I kept reading the book because it was set where I grew up, and it was interesting reading about places that no longer exist.

[Brandi Barnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Maybe because I have girls, and left a career to be a stay at home mom, but I was quickly drawn into the book. Read it in 24 hours..

[Laura Usher-Matson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine but wouldnt recommend.

[Lauren Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another book about a mom & daughter. Sweet

[Laura Pleva · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mother in law and her sweet family and friends say this book reminds them of me💚💓
I have never been president of the PTA❤️ but I love Flo Rida.

[Petra Willemse · Rating 2 out of 5]

This had promise but ended up with almost no development and no follow through.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

With this book, I discovered a new genre that I really enjoy and hope to read more of. I am not sure what to call it. The book is about a mother. She's a stay-at-home mother of two and still married to her husband, living in suburbia, managing the household, dealing with carpools, etc.

The books begins with her daughter entering middle school. To be prepared, the mother read many books about teenage girls, and they all warned her about the evils of the popular girls or Queen Bees. Imagine the mother's shock when she discovers that her nice, sweet daughter is a popular girl. No book taught her how to deal with that! :) That is simply how the book begins though.

I really liked reading it, because it was so different than the other books I read. It wasn't "bubble gum" young adult novels or somewhat depressing historical fiction. My daughter isn't anywhere near middle school age yet, but I was captivated by reading about balancing soccer schedules, being friends with your kids' friend's moms, volunteering at school, giving up your career, supporting your husband, etc.

There were a few incidences of the B word (dog, not illegitimate) and the A word. And there was an incident between the husband and wife that really surprised me. It was not graphic in that words directly relating to private parts of anatomy were used, and it only took about five sentences, but you knew that something happened. So yeah, that's my warning about that. Be warned.

Those two things aside, I loved the book.

I especially appreciated the parts about sacrificing for your children, about having girlfriends as an adult, and about the need of being more than your husband's wife—being your husband's friend (and him being your friend, too).

The title of the book comes from a quote from Jane Austen's Emma. As soon as I saw that, I thought I would probably like the book. And I was right. :)

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I surprised myself by picking this up at the library but I have read a real variety of books this year. I guess an odd sort of high school politics chick lit novel from the perspective of the mum (should I say mom?) just gives me another odd genre to include in my wide selection, although I'm not sure what genre I WOULD call it, actually.

I surprised myself again by getting into this. The story of a teenage girl who gets shunted out of her popular group of friends by a newcomer is an old story, but this time seen entirely from the viewpoint of the stay at home mum who is way more invested in her childrens popularity than she should be for a slightly different take on it. The dad is often absent and it's interesting here how the focus is really on female friendships - her daughter with her three best friends and the mother with her three best friends who happen to be the mothers of her daughters friends. Sure, it's a little TOO neat there but the author actually deals with this in a realistic way. I could see the characters motivation and she dealt lightly with some hard topics.

I liked how this book sorted itself out in the end. It felt like a solution without the feeling of 'quick, let's wrap it up' I often feel about chick lit. (Is this chick lit? Someone of here has described it as 'Jane Austen of the car pool' and I rather liked that.) There were something interesting strands of sub-plots here and I surprised myself for the third time by actually enjoying it.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a decent book that could have been a really good book. However, the author lost her focus a few times (did not need details about the husband's legal case in the story at all) and was sometimes a little condescending...I'm pretty sure if you picked up this book in the first place you are probably familiar with what the SATs are, and that some Jewish people call their grandmothers some version of Bubbe. The assumption on the author's part---or maybe it was the narrator's part, but to me it came across as the author-- seemed to be that only members of the entitled class are aware of or experience these things, and is further illustrated by the following sentence: "Public school holidays usually result in the malls being very crowded. Those families don't automatically go to Colorado, Spain, or Jamaica every time their kids are off school for five minutes." Um, yes they do. However, in most cities, there are more public schools than private and they are all off at the same time. So, yeah, the ones who stay home go to the mall. I just felt like the book needed one more edit to streamline some of the extraneous passages, take out parts that seem to reflect the author's attitude that we non-Ph.D.s need everything explained to us, and stay focused on the point of the story. Even with those comments I would have given it a 3.5...like I said, it was a good book that contained some very valid observations.

[stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was definitely a kind-of low point for my beach-blonde endeavors, but i suppose that's kind of to be expected given how happily surprised i was by so many earlier books.

it's a quiet story, about a ex-lawyer, now stay-at-home mom, and the sixth grade year for her young daughter.

it tries to be a story of popularity and what it means, and what effects being popular and unpopular have, how fluid the concepts are in middle school, how things look from both sides. it gets boring and pedantic, and instead, it becomes the story of a mother that is too attached to her kid's school.

it's sad how many secondary characters get short-shrift, when it could have been more full. it just . . . it was so, well, boring. i actually was kind of frustrated with it, because there was potential, and the writing isn't bad.

the title is from austen, and apparently the author thinks herself to be something of a modern-day austen, but unfortunately, she falls short. she doesn't seem to trust her reader - reminding ALL THE TIME exactly who the characters are, as if it's so difficult to remember and distinguish four women and their husbands/daughters (who rarely appear, anyway). plus, she claims there isn't a mr. darcy - and yet there so is, in the school's new headmaster.

[snapp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lydia is a mother with two children and is very involved in the happenings at their school along with her three best friends. A new student at the school creates problems when she deliberately starts excluding Lydia's daughter. Over the course of a year everything changes but it seems that it might be harder for Lydia than anyone else.

A good read and has some interesting things to say. Some people might even see hints of themselves in there and rethink the way they behave.

As someone who mostly cruised through the middle at school I found it kind of amusing the way the mothers were so serious about the way their daughters were being treated. My mother would never have gone to the school to complain that the popular kids weren't letting me play with them. Lydia's daughter is having a bad time but then most kids have to go through that at some stage. However it seems at times to be the sole focus of Lydia's attention and so when the family needs to make a big decision towards the end of the book it takes a while for Lydia to see the bigger picture and remove her own feelings from the equation.