The Girl Below

by Desiree ., Mia Jones

This story is probably going to be the most ridiculous story you'll ever read in 2023. If you've followed the Vella series, this is the complete novel with every episode put together. It follows our girl Mia Jones, a regular every day girl who runs into her mysterious co-worker named the Bag Lady. In the midst of preying on her insecurities, Mia Jones is convinced to take this magical monkey bread that will suddenly make her more desirable, more liked, and gain attention from men. Something she's secretly longed for.

Of course, instead of the ugly duckling turned swan over night, she wakes up with her...*ahem* her lady part between her legs, talking back to her. Her Girl Below.

Also there is a preview of The Perfect Sister 2 in the back of the book.

266 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 18, 2023

Reviews

[Ashley B]

the hilarity of the book has me wanting more!!

Omg this was just too funny! It was ridiculous yes, but ridiculous in a good way!! I had such a fun time with this book and I’d LOVE more!! A talking va jay jay??? Hilarious!!

[_literaryaura_]

This is one of the funniest books that I’ve read in a while. Honey was a mess and stayed running her mouth and getting Mia into something. Desiree still one of the G.O.A.T.

[Natasha Williams]

The girl below

I loved this book from beginning to end. Honey had me crying, laughing . Although it was just for a write, it was awesome !!

[Jacque]

This was the first "spicy" book I've ever read 😆. It was pretty funny, a quick read, with interesting characters and a charming/absurd concept. I do wish there was more of a resolution with more loose ends tied up, but I believe the author expressed this book was for fun. Looking forward to the next one...I want to know what happens next!!!

[Charlotte Bembry]

Oh My Goodness!

Leave it to Desiree to bring us such an out of the box story. What happens when you wake up and can have a conversation with your private parts. The conversations between Mia and Honey, along with those between Honey and Monty were hilarious. My eyeballs sweated a lot while I was reading this story, because some of them the episodes had me laughing hysterically. The best advice I can give after reading this book is to never eat anything from a bag lady. Absolutely loved it!

[Carlaishia]

Read Now !!

So Good ! It’s a must read for sure ! I’m speechless over this entire story. I love Mia n can’t wait till she bosses up ! Teddy straight jerk. But overall, great story flows perfectly and kept my attention the whole time. Please keep writing its a breath of fresh air for some.

[Demetrius]

I swear this was the funniest book I’ve ever read! This book should be a tv show. I laughed the WHOLE TIME! Honey was a damn trip ! Teddy was a scrub and I really didn’t care for him. Can’t wait to see what kind of mischief Honey is going to get into in the next book : The Misadventures of Honey & Nikko.

[Sheyenne]

Not gonna lie… when I started this story I was like “what in the actual hell is going on?” 😂 A random piece of cornbread, and suddenly this girl’s life starts spiraling in the wildest way. But the further I got into it, the more I realized—this book is weirdly relatable.

It’s about a Black woman who just turned 30 and is tired of not living her life. She’s awkward, she’s over it, and after one strange encounter, she starts actually living—even if it’s messy, chaotic, and a little unhinged. Honestly? Same.

It’s funny, raw, and has those little moments that sneak up on you and make you feel seen. If you’re a woman in your 30s (or just in that “what the hell am I doing?” phase), give it a shot. Just be open-minded and ready to laugh through the weirdness. 😂

[LaTonya M.]

Okay, so picture this you wish to be desired by men a mystery woman offers you bread, that's supposed to make that wish come true. You’re hungry and haven’t eaten so why not? Of Course, you forgot to read the instructions. Now you have a talking Vagine.

if only we all had a talking vagina that warned us when the sex is going to be trash. This book was wild in a good way. I enjoyed Honey's Commentary. Y’all should know by now I love a book that feels like you’re having a conversation with your homegirls except in this case it’s your vagina.

[Amber Fleming]

This was a good hilarious read

[L]

Hilarious!

[SMBF]

3.8ish

[Pauly]

This book was so funny! I didn’t expect it to be about what it was, but it was very creative and Desiree did it again with this book. Honey is hilarious, and she had Mia living her best life.

[Crystal]

Sooo creative and insanely funny. An easy, fun read. I think everyone should have a lil honey.🤣🤣🤣

[Rhianna Hopkins]

yall this book was so funny! Go in with and open mind and stay for the shenanigans🤣 Had me rooting for Mia in all her misadventures and LOL-ing at Honey’s commentary while along for the ride.

[Areianna Irene]

give me more

I’m soo made it ended! I thought it was a standalone. I could cry. I need to know what happened

[Samantha E.]

Dope as usual…

Desiree is one of my favorites, although I wasn’t familiar with Mia Jones. This story was hilarious. I actually laughed out loud. Then ending told me there’s more to come. Or I sure hope so. Highly recommended.

[Chante Sands]

Listen to me! This book had my stomach hurting so much from laughing. I loved every second of it its so crazy and different. You won't regret this read at all

[MAQUITTA GOODLETT]

Giiiiiiiiirl!!!

Desiree, you've written some craziness over the years but this book beat EVERYTHING!!!! I don't know where your topics come from but I'm here for it!!!!

[qiana]

HaHaHa

The funniest thing I've ever read this year. Sometimes in books it's a friend or family member that says off the wall things but in this sorry it's her inner self or better the girl bellow. Funny but at the same time, the realist things that needed to be said. Who needs Jimmy the cricket when you have your personal conscious girl bellow, lol. It's about to get real in the next book. Looking forward to it!

[Shay]

Funniest book I've read in a long time!!!

Man, I laughed so much! Who knew a
book about a talking poom poom could be this good! Desiree, I can't imagine what all goes on in that mind of yours, for you to come up with this stuff, create these places, and people that leave us wanting more. I hope there's more!

[Kenya Bowman]

2023!!!!

This is the @#@#!!!! I hollered laughing at home and work reading this!!!! This is medicine for the soul!!! Continue to write, you have a gift!!!! Also, I wish mines had a voice....the conversations 😉.

[Lynette]

The Girl Below

This is a crazy story but I love it the storyline was great and the Characters were on the money. This was a story that I think would be great if there was a part 2, if only for Mia Jones to get her happy ending....

[Shannonmsmith78gmail.Com]

Funny!

I just love Desiree. Her books are so unpredictable and good. They are definitely page turners. I couldn't stop reading this..

[Janae]

A funny quick read! I was glued to it! Definitely wanted more! Desiree is one of my favorite authors and each story reminds me why!

[Leighandra]

A happy reader

Omg is all I can say this book had me hooked from cover to cover and can't wait for more from u.

[Shanta Stanley]

Lol

I'M SO READY FOR THE REST OF THIS STORY I CAN JUST IMAGINE ALL THE CRAZY STUFF THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS TIME AROUND.

[The Urban Book Nook]

I went into The Girl Below knowing exactly the kind of ride I was signing up for—and somehow, it still surprised me.

This felt like the ultimate palate cleanser read on Kindle Unlimited. After diving into heavier or more intense stories, this one came in with humor, chaos, and just enough magic to keep things interesting without taking itself too seriously. Desiree and Mia Jones created a story that leans into insecurity, desire, and transformation in a way that feels both exaggerated and oddly relatable.

Mia is the kind of character you want to shake and root for at the same time. Her vulnerability makes her an easy target, especially when the mysterious “Bag Lady” enters the picture with promises of instant desirability. That magical monkey bread? A wild concept—but it works as a metaphor for how far people will go to feel seen, wanted, and chosen.

What really carried this book for me was the dialogue. The banter between Mia and Honey alone had me laughing out loud, but when you add Nico and Elodie into the mix, it turns into full-blown chaos in the best way. The characters bounce off each other effortlessly, making even the messiest moments entertaining.

At its core, this story is about more than attention or attraction. It’s about self-worth, body confidence, and the journey toward maturity—especially when it comes to love and exploration. It doesn’t always take the cleanest route to get there, but that’s part of its charm.

This isn’t your typical read, and it doesn’t try to be. It’s bold, funny, and a little unhinged—but that’s exactly why it works.

[Michelle Reads]

That was one of the craziest, funniest, and most unhinged books I have ever read! Omg Honey was hilarious!!!!! I kept imagining that Honey's voice was Cookie from Empire. And I know technically that is Taraji P. Henson, but I specifically saw her as Cookie though, not just Taraji.


**SPOILERS BELOW**

Believe it or not, I picture Monty as Terrence Howard looool!! Ugh, but I really, really, really could not stand Teddy. I hated the whole "oh he's a mean asshole to you because he actually likes you" trope. I hated hearing that mess as a little girl, and I am so disappointed that it is still being cycled by grown women. One thing I will say about Honey is that she gave some of the same advice I would have given, mainly at the end of the book - you got a few minutes to have a pity party and feel bad for yourself, but then we are moving on cause we are not about to sit around boo hoo crying over a fuck boy. Cry, then get your shit together and focus on you sweetie.

If it wasn't for that horrible ending (seriously, what the hell was that) and the he's mean to you cause he likes to you trope, I probably would have given the book a 5. Still a great read though!

[Vanity Crowe]

ONE WORD.... Yaaaaassssssss!!!

When I tell you this was the just out of the box, funniest reads I've ever read! I'm very familiar with Desiree/Granger's works, I've literally read almost her entire catalogue but this book, this book was chef's kiss! I loved everything about it! I loved the humor, I loved the fantasy aspect, and most of all.....I loved me some Honey! This book really got me out of my reading slump. Thank you Desiree, you did your big one with this! 10/10, 5 stars! ✨✨✨✨✨