I Try to Behave Myself: Peg Bracken's Etiquette Book

by Peg Bracken

"Most visits of overnight or longer are arduous work because it is hard to be nicer than you really are for so long a time."

Peg Bracken's previous bestsellers demonstrate that it's fun to rock the status quo. Now to delight, entertain, and instruct men, women, and children, she has turned her wit, originality, warmth, and good sense to the problem of manners. The result is a lighthearted, down-to-earth guide to good conduct that begins where most other etiquette books leave off...

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Self Help

182 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 1964

Reviews

[Becky Marietta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seriously, I have decided that women authors who wrote in the late 1950s/early 60s are my jam! This book was all things I love. Reading it was like stepping into a Cary Grant movie, where the men all wore felt hats that they removed when a lady approached, and the women sent each other prompt "Thank You" notes for every cocktail lunch. Bracken sprinkles her helpful advice with hilarity, keeping the book from becoming saccharine or obnoxious (for example, in her section on manners in the bedroom, she wisely notes, "No man who calls his wife 'Mother' or 'Fats' all day can justifiably expect a bonfire that night--or as Henry Fielding put it, 'a warm partaker of the genial bed.'" And the illustrations by Hilary Knight (she illustrated the "Eloise" books) added extra fun adorable snark.

While some of the etiquette advice does not apply in this modern age (Calling cards? Telephones?), I was surprised by how many mannerly things DO still matter. Bracken's gentle advice on giving gifts or comforting the bereaved, for example, were spot-on, and I found myself planning ways to be more civilized in my interactions with others.

So charmed was I by Bracken that I hunted down more of her books in used bookstores: "The I Hate to Cook Book" and the ensuing Appendix, her book on travel (I can't WAIT to go down history lane in that one--I bet nobody had to take their shoes off to go through airport security!), and her "The I Hate Housekeeping Book." Yes sir, Peg's my kinda gal.

[Mary Lou · Rating 4 out of 5]

The joy of "I Try To Behave Myself" is in stepping back more than a half-century in time and remembering what life was like when women wore gloves, men doffed their hats (which weren't baseball caps), smoking was the norm, and most families shared one rotary phone and one television, most likely black and white. Some of this was laugh-out-loud funny, and no topic was covered so thoroughly that it became boring. Despite the humor and the societal changes, though, there was still a lot of good advice that could be applied today (e.g. condolence notes, punctuality, teaching basic manners to young children) making "I Try to Behave Myself" a fun and worthwhile read.

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly love this book, although it's extremely dated (back when everyone smoked cigarettes!) but useful anyway, especially the advice on men & women. A wise and funny read.

[Josephine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very practical etiquette book, especially when quite literally weighed against Emily Post. At 50 years after its original publication date, some of the advice is dated, from prices/amounts of tips through the name married women take after marriage/divorce/widowhood to assumptions about the default "smokers or nonsmokers" assumption about one's guest. That said, this book might work today. I especially love the rules for children who've been roped into attending adult social events, starting with "spell out what's going to happen and what's expected of them"; as a preschool acquaintance of Bracken pointed out, it's not like the kids themselves have a great deal of social experience upon which to draw when presented with a strange situation.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book changed my life...for some reason I picked it from the lbrary to read in the 6th grade. Showed me how 'the other side' lived, and made me determined to live that way. Still struggle, but i know good manners now!

[Kerry]

Mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, it's a riot--some funny turns of phrase and situations. On the other, it's mired in the past's fixation on strict gender designations and the rules that people of either sex must supposedly abide by in order to conform.

I will say, however, that Bracken rightly warns that women hate to be treated as if they are weak-minded. As true 50 years ago as it is today, and yet we still haven't achieved full victory over this common behavior.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love her so much

[R_Snooby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun blast from the past!

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a pushover for books about How to Do Things Correctly. (Miss Manners, I adore you! Same to you Randy Cohen, former NY TIMES "ethicist.")

I've enjoyed Peg Bracken's essays and her lighthearted kitchen advice very much, too-- all of which to say that this book came as a surprising disappointment to me. Not so much about doing things correctly as about snarky comments on the subject of doing things correctly. The snarkiness factor regularly overpowers the instructiveness, to a point where the advice given is actually the opposite of good graces.

There is one good reason for reading this 1959 book, and that is the nifty little window on history that it provides. Ah yes, a time when one would correctly tip a hotel bellhop "25 cents per bag. In larger cities, 50 cents or three for $1.00.")

My favorite such historico-excursion is the advice for women on a date, (which closely follows the advice to men on wearing and doffing hats.) A gal should not keep a man waiting too long while she fusses with her stockings and makeup. And--

"She should carry the minimum equipment... I know a girl who tapes a lipstick, a dime, and a folded dollar bill above her knee (she could slip them into her bra, too) before she goes dining and dancing. This makes great sense-- no swollen velvet pouch to end up in a man's pocket and make him heavy on his feet, or hers....
As for mad money, which you don't hear much about these days, a charge account at a cab company can be handy..."

Good to know.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I vaguely remembered this book as being an amusing treatment of manners, but unfortunately it was written so long ago, and society has changed so much, that it was generally more irritating than humorous. For example, cell phones have totally changed all of Bracken's strictures about telephone courtesy. But, also, Bracken made the mistake of including what things should cost--like tips--and inflation has made the numbers she included ludicrous, whereas percentages probably would not have changed too much. There's also the whole "battle of the sexes" thing, which really isn't amusing any more. Too bad!

[Wordwizard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining and useful.

[Stef · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dated, obviously, but funny and still practical for the more timeless questions.