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Snowflakes and Embers #1
Snowflakes and Embers
Deseem was to be a gift to God, trained from birth to be a priest but when his father, the king, is short on allies and heirs he's ordered to become a Bentan Bride. Left with no choices and options he braces himself for the worst.
Liam is used to how his magic frightens people and he's learned to like his isolation. He's content being a Watcher and finds real joy in his work. The last thing he wants is a Bentan Bride.
When destiny and chance bring them together they both have to struggle to build a new life.
Status: Complete
Word count: approx. 200,016
Liam is used to how his magic frightens people and he's learned to like his isolation. He's content being a Watcher and finds real joy in his work. The last thing he wants is a Bentan Bride.
When destiny and chance bring them together they both have to struggle to build a new life.
Status: Complete
Word count: approx. 200,016
640 pages, online fiction
First published January 1, 2017
21 people are currently reading
1169 people want to read
About the author
S.A. Payne
16 books202 followersSo, ya wanted to know about me... well, nothing to know! I'm from a quiet Penn Dutch area with my husband, a herd of dogs, and WAY too many cats.
The husband and I work for ourselves, no money in it but better than 9 to 5 for some other idiots, and it leaves me time to write. Which, I'm told, is a very good thing.
The husband and I work for ourselves, no money in it but better than 9 to 5 for some other idiots, and it leaves me time to write. Which, I'm told, is a very good thing.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
August 14, 2013
Okay, I just finished this.
Let the review begin.
The summary sounded really promising, and the beginning of the story was great as well.
Prince Deseem is fourteen years old when he's told he will be married off to a stranger (once he's a little older) for an alliance in order to strengthen Bastion, his father's kingdom, which is currently at war with Corena, a neighbouring country.
So far, so good.
Liam, Prince of Corena, recently lost his beloved wife in the war. He has not yet had time to mourn for her when he is told he will have to remarry for an alliance - the youngest Bastion Prince of all people, son to the man responsible to his wife's death.
Still good.
Why did I not love the book, then? Why only two stars?
The answer is simple: The writing totally killed it for me.
I'll start lightly; the names bothered me.
I agree that fantasy countries can have their own languages and, as a result, pretty fancy names. Deseem, for example, is a nice name that's not too fancy and still easy enough to pronounce while not being some everyday name.
Deseemdamiah is pushing limits.
Irend - nice, creative.
Irendorialah? Hard to remember.
My personal favorite, though, was Restonarinach. Seriously, I'll be fluent in Dothraki before I learn to pronounce that. Every time he appeared, I stumbled over the name, which kind of ruined the flow.
The last name that really bothered me was Malcome. I actually wondered whether the author had misspelled Malcolm.
[EDIT: Seems like you can actually spell it that way. Looks weird to me, but oh well...]
Next, spelling.
The names were misspelled on more than one occasion. Liam and Deseem became Laim and Dessem. I'm a stickler for spelling, I know that, and I'm willing to overlook some things, but misspelling a main character's name? That's a big NO. Really.
There were also chard - or charred? - beddings and a whole lot of other spelling mistakes as well as great confusion about then and than - in fact, those were almost always wrong - and lay and lie.
Some mistakes actually changed the meaning of a sentence, others just plain annoyed me...
On to INTERPUNCTUATION!
S. A. Payne likes to keep her main and subordinate sentences strictly separated, and it turns out that question marks are an amazing means to achieve that. If you want to write an if clause? Just slam a question mark in there!
... you get my drift? It works once, but not every. damn. time. Same goes for question marks after indirect questions. Using it once is okay, using it all the time makes it seem like you don't know that's not how it's supposed to be.
Other than that, there were commas in all the wrong places. Before commas, for example, or in the middle of a simple sentence that has no need of a comma. I was, however, missing commas in other places, so the average number of commas in the story was probably correct, only the placement might need improvement.
Another big point, the flow.
Actually, if it hadn't been for the other flaws, this one would have gone largely unnoticed, but I had to distract myself with something.
The beginning of the story was great, really. I got really into it could relate to the characters (as much as one can relate to someone in their situation).
And then, it started.
For every step forward, Deseem takes two, no, five steps backwards. He makes minor progress, and then goes back to before. It's kind of annoying, because I expected some character growth. Well, that happened in the last 10% of the book, but I'll get to that later.
Throughout the book (excluding the last two chapters), Liam proves to be emotionally retarded. Not the normal emotional retardation that men are born with (What? She likes me? How should I know???), he really seems to be a bit daft. Deseem practically spreads his legs and yells "DO ME HARD, HUSBAND!!!" (well, not exactly, but he does nearly EVERYTHING humanly possible) and Liam just doesn't get it. Not at all.
Finally, the characters
While they showed great potential in the beginning, the characters became less and less original towards the end.
Liam is a powerful Elemental and everyone fears him. Deseem has very little magic and never uses it consciously. He doesn't even feel any powers.
They're both a little Mary-Sue-ish. SUUUPER attractive, AMAZINGLY powerful, SOOOOOOOO smart, SPESHUL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE, TOTALLY misunderstood by everyone... yeah. I mean, I understand that they need *something* special, but they were just too amazing to be believable.
On another note, did anyone else expect some kind of resolution for the war/the conflict between Deseem and his family/Deseem's eldest brother/Deseem's father's madness? I felt like those were kind of lost with the repetitive romance.
Please don't get me wrong; I don't mean to be hateful. I know that writing can be difficult and everything, but I felt like this was not really worth the money for the subscription. I understand why so many people enjoy this story, but for me, the spelling and grammar just killed the enjoyment. With some slight editing, Snowflakes and Embers could be sooo much better...
My rating: 2 stars for a promising story with not-so-promising writing.
Let the review begin.
The summary sounded really promising, and the beginning of the story was great as well.
Prince Deseem is fourteen years old when he's told he will be married off to a stranger (once he's a little older) for an alliance in order to strengthen Bastion, his father's kingdom, which is currently at war with Corena, a neighbouring country.
So far, so good.
Liam, Prince of Corena, recently lost his beloved wife in the war. He has not yet had time to mourn for her when he is told he will have to remarry for an alliance - the youngest Bastion Prince of all people, son to the man responsible to his wife's death.
Still good.
Why did I not love the book, then? Why only two stars?
The answer is simple: The writing totally killed it for me.
I'll start lightly; the names bothered me.
I agree that fantasy countries can have their own languages and, as a result, pretty fancy names. Deseem, for example, is a nice name that's not too fancy and still easy enough to pronounce while not being some everyday name.
Deseemdamiah is pushing limits.
Irend - nice, creative.
Irendorialah? Hard to remember.
My personal favorite, though, was Restonarinach. Seriously, I'll be fluent in Dothraki before I learn to pronounce that. Every time he appeared, I stumbled over the name, which kind of ruined the flow.
The last name that really bothered me was Malcome. I actually wondered whether the author had misspelled Malcolm.
[EDIT: Seems like you can actually spell it that way. Looks weird to me, but oh well...]
Next, spelling.
The names were misspelled on more than one occasion. Liam and Deseem became Laim and Dessem. I'm a stickler for spelling, I know that, and I'm willing to overlook some things, but misspelling a main character's name? That's a big NO. Really.
There were also chard - or charred? - beddings and a whole lot of other spelling mistakes as well as great confusion about then and than - in fact, those were almost always wrong - and lay and lie.
Some mistakes actually changed the meaning of a sentence, others just plain annoyed me...
On to INTERPUNCTUATION!
S. A. Payne likes to keep her main and subordinate sentences strictly separated, and it turns out that question marks are an amazing means to achieve that. If you want to write an if clause? Just slam a question mark in there!
... you get my drift? It works once, but not every. damn. time. Same goes for question marks after indirect questions. Using it once is okay, using it all the time makes it seem like you don't know that's not how it's supposed to be.
Other than that, there were commas in all the wrong places. Before commas, for example, or in the middle of a simple sentence that has no need of a comma. I was, however, missing commas in other places, so the average number of commas in the story was probably correct, only the placement might need improvement.
Another big point, the flow.
Actually, if it hadn't been for the other flaws, this one would have gone largely unnoticed, but I had to distract myself with something.
The beginning of the story was great, really. I got really into it could relate to the characters (as much as one can relate to someone in their situation).
And then, it started.
For every step forward, Deseem takes two, no, five steps backwards. He makes minor progress, and then goes back to before. It's kind of annoying, because I expected some character growth. Well, that happened in the last 10% of the book, but I'll get to that later.
Throughout the book (excluding the last two chapters), Liam proves to be emotionally retarded. Not the normal emotional retardation that men are born with (What? She likes me? How should I know???), he really seems to be a bit daft. Deseem practically spreads his legs and yells "DO ME HARD, HUSBAND!!!" (well, not exactly, but he does nearly EVERYTHING humanly possible) and Liam just doesn't get it. Not at all.
Finally, the characters
While they showed great potential in the beginning, the characters became less and less original towards the end.
Liam is a powerful Elemental and everyone fears him. Deseem has very little magic and never uses it consciously. He doesn't even feel any powers.
They're both a little Mary-Sue-ish. SUUUPER attractive, AMAZINGLY powerful, SOOOOOOOO smart, SPESHUL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE, TOTALLY misunderstood by everyone... yeah. I mean, I understand that they need *something* special, but they were just too amazing to be believable.
On another note, did anyone else expect some kind of resolution for the war/the conflict between Deseem and his family/Deseem's eldest brother/Deseem's father's madness? I felt like those were kind of lost with the repetitive romance.
Please don't get me wrong; I don't mean to be hateful. I know that writing can be difficult and everything, but I felt like this was not really worth the money for the subscription. I understand why so many people enjoy this story, but for me, the spelling and grammar just killed the enjoyment. With some slight editing, Snowflakes and Embers could be sooo much better...
My rating: 2 stars for a promising story with not-so-promising writing.
November 16, 2011
4.5 stars
For anyone that really knows me, they know how much I love certain aspects inside the m/m genre. Fantasy, arranged marriage, cruelty and abuse, quasi Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally messed up and broken characters, kidnapping or hostage situations, all those elements always end up making an exceptionally great book, in my eyes. With Snowflakes and Embers I felt like I was in heaven while reading it because it has all those elements (sans kidnapping. Sort of).
To fully describe what happens in this book would turn out to be a synopsis because the book is extremely long but when it comes to fantasy, those are always the best kind. We get details, a lot of details, in this book. We get background information because it is all very important but most importantly we get to actually see almost all of the situations and problems play out. We learn about Deseem's life as a young teen and what he goes through because of his family, the choices that are taken away from him and how he ends up being this shell of a man when he finally meets Liam. Liam, however, is a mystery in his own way. We know about him but the things he's gone through in his life are both horrendous and awe-inspiring because of how he's been able to survive with it.
What I took from this book, though, was acceptance and strength. Being able to see Liam and Deseem grow and change from damaged characters who couldn't get out of their custom roles to individuals who ended up loving each other even with the hardships they've faced was amazing. I felt what they felt. Their emotions were my emotions and whenever one of them was hurt or sad, I was hurt or sad. Honestly, both of them broke my heart because of how unique and strange they are compared their own people. Their relationship developed slowly and I really enjoyed that because it gave me the opportunity to enjoy the characters for who they were on the inside. Simply put, I loved these characters.
I really did love this book because both the setting and the characters, were extremely interesting. However, this book had a lot of editing mistakes and at times it drew me out of the story but after a while I got used to it enough to bypass them. Also, at times Liam really pissed me off. While I love slow, intense build ups, his constant denial and bringing Deseem closer just to push him away annoyed and frustrated me but I knew why he did it so I accepted it even if I wanted to pull his head out of his ass then beat him with a stick.
Overall, I really adored this book. It caught my attention from the beginning and kept it there. Deseem and Liam buried themselves inside my heart and wouldn't let up for even a minute. The world captivated me with the different cultures and the creatures involved. I'm not ready to let these two go yet so I sincerely hope there will be a sequel about them in the near future. Definitely recommended.
For anyone that really knows me, they know how much I love certain aspects inside the m/m genre. Fantasy, arranged marriage, cruelty and abuse, quasi Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally messed up and broken characters, kidnapping or hostage situations, all those elements always end up making an exceptionally great book, in my eyes. With Snowflakes and Embers I felt like I was in heaven while reading it because it has all those elements (sans kidnapping. Sort of).
To fully describe what happens in this book would turn out to be a synopsis because the book is extremely long but when it comes to fantasy, those are always the best kind. We get details, a lot of details, in this book. We get background information because it is all very important but most importantly we get to actually see almost all of the situations and problems play out. We learn about Deseem's life as a young teen and what he goes through because of his family, the choices that are taken away from him and how he ends up being this shell of a man when he finally meets Liam. Liam, however, is a mystery in his own way. We know about him but the things he's gone through in his life are both horrendous and awe-inspiring because of how he's been able to survive with it.
What I took from this book, though, was acceptance and strength. Being able to see Liam and Deseem grow and change from damaged characters who couldn't get out of their custom roles to individuals who ended up loving each other even with the hardships they've faced was amazing. I felt what they felt. Their emotions were my emotions and whenever one of them was hurt or sad, I was hurt or sad. Honestly, both of them broke my heart because of how unique and strange they are compared their own people. Their relationship developed slowly and I really enjoyed that because it gave me the opportunity to enjoy the characters for who they were on the inside. Simply put, I loved these characters.
I really did love this book because both the setting and the characters, were extremely interesting. However, this book had a lot of editing mistakes and at times it drew me out of the story but after a while I got used to it enough to bypass them. Also, at times Liam really pissed me off. While I love slow, intense build ups, his constant denial and bringing Deseem closer just to push him away annoyed and frustrated me but I knew why he did it so I accepted it even if I wanted to pull his head out of his ass then beat him with a stick.
Overall, I really adored this book. It caught my attention from the beginning and kept it there. Deseem and Liam buried themselves inside my heart and wouldn't let up for even a minute. The world captivated me with the different cultures and the creatures involved. I'm not ready to let these two go yet so I sincerely hope there will be a sequel about them in the near future. Definitely recommended.
August 11, 2012
Snowflakes and Embers should have been tightened up and cut down 300 pages. It was too wordy and too repetitive. Is he doing it out of duty? Or is he really physically attracted to me? Would I be taking advantage of him? Does he really love me? Am I capable of loving him? Ugh! So many lonely nights and misunderstandings could have prevented if the author had done this one thing- let Liam and Deseem talk to each other! I love slow developed romances, but this was too much.
No plot. No side storylines. Why was this 640 pages? WHY?
No plot. No side storylines. Why was this 640 pages? WHY?
June 13, 2015
3.5
Fascinating. It ended up quite different, and less dark, than I'd anticipated, with far less mindfuckery and none in the main relationship. The world-building and the Bentan Bride, forced feminization concept were fantastic, though the "mind-control" elements happen mostly off-stage, which turns this into a long hurt-healing story--very, very long. The story sprawls over 640 pages, though based on the actual plot, it could easily have been a third that length.
Despite these quibbles, I couldn't put it down. Definitely recommended for fans of epic-length M/M fantasy romances.
Fascinating. It ended up quite different, and less dark, than I'd anticipated, with far less mindfuckery and none in the main relationship. The world-building and the Bentan Bride, forced feminization concept were fantastic, though the "mind-control" elements happen mostly off-stage, which turns this into a long hurt-healing story--very, very long. The story sprawls over 640 pages, though based on the actual plot, it could easily have been a third that length.
Despite these quibbles, I couldn't put it down. Definitely recommended for fans of epic-length M/M fantasy romances.
August 24, 2010
This book is just magical. I was sucked into the universe Payne created and I didn't want to leave. Deseem and Liam's story...GAH read it for yourself. Have tissues, chocolate, coffee, water, and sleep aids handy; I swear you won't be able to put it down. FANTASTIC read
July 3, 2011
Loved this. Loved the characters, loved the story, loved it all. But it's been too long since I've read it to say anything much more specific. I can say that I'm very excited about the sequel novel to be written at some unknown future time.
Generally speaking, I've really enjoyed pretty much everything I've read from S.A. Payne's subscription website. I think she's super creative, with lots of interesting ideas, which is totally reflected in her many different stories.
HOWEVER, I feel compelled to warn that the editing is pretty much non-existent on her website. There are LOTS of major issues with grammar and spelling. Lots of run-on sentences, improper use (or lack) of punctuation, and tons of spelling issues. I don't mean to go on and on, but seriously, it really bugged me. (Like using "than" instead of "then" constantly...I don't know why but that drove me nuts!) I think the reason the editing issues make me so crazy is because the stories are actually REALLY ENJOYABLE, and the lack of editing just detracts from that, which is a real shame.
Bottom Line: Really unique premise, and overall, really enjoyable. One of my favorite m/m fantasy reads. 5 stars given for pure enjoyment factor rather than quality of writing. So beware the atrocious lack of editing.
EDIT (6/3/11): Just re-read this, and loved it just as much as I did the first time. Probably my favorite story from this author, with Blurring the Lines at a close second. Reading this again, while incredibly enjoyable, seriously makes me itch for a sequel, though. Don't worry, it's not like it ends of a cliffhanger or anything (it doesn't, at all) -- it's just left open for more. And I want it!
Generally speaking, I've really enjoyed pretty much everything I've read from S.A. Payne's subscription website. I think she's super creative, with lots of interesting ideas, which is totally reflected in her many different stories.
HOWEVER, I feel compelled to warn that the editing is pretty much non-existent on her website. There are LOTS of major issues with grammar and spelling. Lots of run-on sentences, improper use (or lack) of punctuation, and tons of spelling issues. I don't mean to go on and on, but seriously, it really bugged me. (Like using "than" instead of "then" constantly...I don't know why but that drove me nuts!) I think the reason the editing issues make me so crazy is because the stories are actually REALLY ENJOYABLE, and the lack of editing just detracts from that, which is a real shame.
Bottom Line: Really unique premise, and overall, really enjoyable. One of my favorite m/m fantasy reads. 5 stars given for pure enjoyment factor rather than quality of writing. So beware the atrocious lack of editing.
EDIT (6/3/11): Just re-read this, and loved it just as much as I did the first time. Probably my favorite story from this author, with Blurring the Lines at a close second. Reading this again, while incredibly enjoyable, seriously makes me itch for a sequel, though. Don't worry, it's not like it ends of a cliffhanger or anything (it doesn't, at all) -- it's just left open for more. And I want it!
November 11, 2013
It's good, very good read. Although I have some issues with this one, so 3.75/5 stars.
Firstly, I have to say that I am not a big fan of polygamy. Okay, I don't like it and I don't think that in a book with characters like Liam and Deseem, who are pretty damaged and need to rebuilt their trust , including idea of echangism, threesome, slowed the story and hited my nerves.
The characterisation of Dessem was pretty good, really amazing because the story progressed in a way where you could understand him, understand why he was this little submissive and terrified man (in the beggining of the story). Liam...was not that good. I like him very much indeed but he lacked something, something we understand only in the last pages of the story and it's really, really frustating.
The end seems rushed and most of the issues of the characters don't seems completly resolved. And for a big story like this one, it's don't feel right. Honestly, with the last words I have feel nothing, no joy, no sadness, no fear, no even relief. Nothing.
Worst, the last proposition of Norlan, make me roll my eyes and wanted to punch him in the face and I just began to like him ! This comment was so out of place and I was like "What's the point ?!!". So yes, very good story in her whole, but the ending ? Not so much.
Firstly, I have to say that I am not a big fan of polygamy. Okay, I don't like it and I don't think that in a book with characters like Liam and Deseem, who are pretty damaged and need to rebuilt their trust , including idea of echangism, threesome, slowed the story and hited my nerves.
The characterisation of Dessem was pretty good, really amazing because the story progressed in a way where you could understand him, understand why he was this little submissive and terrified man (in the beggining of the story). Liam...was not that good. I like him very much indeed but he lacked something, something we understand only in the last pages of the story and it's really, really frustating.
The end seems rushed and most of the issues of the characters don't seems completly resolved. And for a big story like this one, it's don't feel right. Honestly, with the last words I have feel nothing, no joy, no sadness, no fear, no even relief. Nothing.
Worst, the last proposition of Norlan, make me roll my eyes and wanted to punch him in the face and I just began to like him ! This comment was so out of place and I was like "What's the point ?!!". So yes, very good story in her whole, but the ending ? Not so much.
January 26, 2020
I really like this one. Was pretty slow but the way the author portrayed each scene was beautiful.
June 11, 2013
I forgot how much I loved this. S.A. Payne is the absolute master of damaged characters re-learning how to love. Her world-building is so fabulous and her characters are so well developed that like most of her books, I didn't want this one to end - and when it did, I immediately started searching for a sequel.
Snowflakes and Embers is a beautiful, painful, and memorable love story set in a magical world being torn asunder by war. The main character, Deseen, has been cloistered his entire life in preparation for entering the priesthood. As a young teen, his circumstances change dramatically when his father, the King, decides instead to leverage him in a politically expedient marriage. The catch is - not as a husband, but as a Bentan Bride.
There are so many clichéd roads this story could have gone down, but instead it is lively, surprising and satisfying. Worth reading over and over.
Snowflakes and Embers is a beautiful, painful, and memorable love story set in a magical world being torn asunder by war. The main character, Deseen, has been cloistered his entire life in preparation for entering the priesthood. As a young teen, his circumstances change dramatically when his father, the King, decides instead to leverage him in a politically expedient marriage. The catch is - not as a husband, but as a Bentan Bride.
There are so many clichéd roads this story could have gone down, but instead it is lively, surprising and satisfying. Worth reading over and over.
October 27, 2021
4.10
This was so so beautiful. For the first half I wanted to give it 5☆, but then I lower it a bit. Why? It was set into such a great big world, but we do not get almost anything from it. The romance was sweet, but close to the end it was just a bit worse than at the begining. But do not be mistaken, the start set my expectation HIGH, unbelievably so, that made the ending seem a bit less than it was.
Still, it would have been five stars, if there was more worldbuilding.
And it was so sad? I was crying for 2/3, but the ending was sweet. Still I just can not say, that it could have been more. It seemed hurried and less thoughtover than the rest of the book.
But please, read it, it was amazing. Pointing out mistakes is always easier:)
This was so so beautiful. For the first half I wanted to give it 5☆, but then I lower it a bit. Why? It was set into such a great big world, but we do not get almost anything from it. The romance was sweet, but close to the end it was just a bit worse than at the begining. But do not be mistaken, the start set my expectation HIGH, unbelievably so, that made the ending seem a bit less than it was.
Still, it would have been five stars, if there was more worldbuilding.
And it was so sad? I was crying for 2/3, but the ending was sweet. Still I just can not say, that it could have been more. It seemed hurried and less thoughtover than the rest of the book.
But please, read it, it was amazing. Pointing out mistakes is always easier:)
March 23, 2017
This book is so great I can't say it enough. For those who like romantic fantasy it's perfect. I loved everything about it :)
August 7, 2012
3.5/5
Hmm... Mixed reactions.
It's good. Well written. It's got a lot of details, and a high plus is it usually wasn't presented in a series of info-dumps as some books do. The characterization was pretty good. The world is fascinating and seems rather interestingly complete and highly fascinating, especially Bastion traditions. However, there was markedly something lacking. Yeah, it was engaging but...I dunno, character dynamics seemed to be lacking. The grammar was also kind of weird and oddly punctuated at times, but the story managed to push through. Throughout all of it, though it still was...decided dull. Engaging, but dull.
I felt kind of cheated at how seemingly abruptly it ended, but given how long it's already been, I don't actually have that much a problem with that.
Oh, also, there were odd POV jumps. The third person narration sometimes drifted into 3rd limited, which makes jumps back to omniscient/other 3rd limited awkward.
Hmm... Mixed reactions.
It's good. Well written. It's got a lot of details, and a high plus is it usually wasn't presented in a series of info-dumps as some books do. The characterization was pretty good. The world is fascinating and seems rather interestingly complete and highly fascinating, especially Bastion traditions. However, there was markedly something lacking. Yeah, it was engaging but...I dunno, character dynamics seemed to be lacking. The grammar was also kind of weird and oddly punctuated at times, but the story managed to push through. Throughout all of it, though it still was...decided dull. Engaging, but dull.
I felt kind of cheated at how seemingly abruptly it ended, but given how long it's already been, I don't actually have that much a problem with that.
Oh, also, there were odd POV jumps. The third person narration sometimes drifted into 3rd limited, which makes jumps back to omniscient/other 3rd limited awkward.
September 2, 2013
This book has a very very long delicious feel to it. The author really let us get to know both characters and what makes them tick. I adored the long length of the story.
The beginning does take a few pages to really get into the action/drama of the story. BUT - you need those chapters to really understand why both characters are so broken.
The most interesting thing is....the author doesnt fall into to many cliches. More then once I was reading about something the characters did and I thought = uh oh = now there will be two chapters of miss communication and confusion.....well NO. The characters actually TALKED. - colour me surprised.
Do I sound bitchy when I say I am pleasantly surprised to read about men that TALK to each other!!
The beginning does take a few pages to really get into the action/drama of the story. BUT - you need those chapters to really understand why both characters are so broken.
The most interesting thing is....the author doesnt fall into to many cliches. More then once I was reading about something the characters did and I thought = uh oh = now there will be two chapters of miss communication and confusion.....well NO. The characters actually TALKED. - colour me surprised.
Do I sound bitchy when I say I am pleasantly surprised to read about men that TALK to each other!!
October 2, 2010
I really loved this book. At first I wasn't sure about Liam because he is getting over a major loss but I found the entire story to be gripping. Experiencing both Deseem and Liam's emotional journey made for fantastic reading. This was my first S.A. Payne book but it will not be my last.
January 27, 2014
I loved loved this story. I have been waiting for ever to read it and it took forever to finally access it. I only wish th ere was a sequel to the story.
August 16, 2021
3.8
Was good. It felt unfinished though despite being 800 pages long. There were things at the end that still weren't resolved.
Was good. It felt unfinished though despite being 800 pages long. There were things at the end that still weren't resolved.
October 28, 2025
This was such an interesting idea.
I loved the world building. In a lot of ways this reminded me of work by Megan Derr. I was thoroughly lost to this world.
My heart broke not just for Deseem but also Liam. Emotionally this one really pulled at the heart strings.
I was however expecting more closure with Deseems family. I was expecting more on the war.
While the ending was sweet I feel like another book is needed.
I loved the world building. In a lot of ways this reminded me of work by Megan Derr. I was thoroughly lost to this world.
My heart broke not just for Deseem but also Liam. Emotionally this one really pulled at the heart strings.
I was however expecting more closure with Deseems family. I was expecting more on the war.
While the ending was sweet I feel like another book is needed.
March 24, 2016
2,5 stars actually.
What I loved: the world building. I found it complex and original. Also Deseem's growth throughout the story. He went from being a deeply traumatized young man to a slightly less traumatized one. Pretty realistic, I think.
What I hated: Liam "the horndog". He spends all the story wanting to bang Nolan (not the other mc!) and others. And kisses at least 3 people other than his husband. (2 in front of him with no warning!). Of course he's also deeply affected when D kisses someone else. Double standards much?
That whore Nolan, who is always reminding Deseem that he can fuck Liam anytime. Wtf?! And the worse thing is that he's right. I mean, when i read a romance I like a little romance BETWEEN the MC and not Liam with all his exes.
I was so angry at all this, but I still stayed up until 7am to read.
The ending was rather dissatisfying too. I was hoping Liam was finally sure of his feelings for Deseem, but no. He still needs time. He still wishes he could go back in time to his threeway marriage. Still wants to fuck Nolan who doesn't want him.
Something else that caught my attention is that Liam was supposedly so inlove with his late wife. But then, he's always saying he prefers men. At one point he almost recognizes he's gay. I don't get it. Why not make him fully bisexual instead of -what I consider- closeted? Maybe he loved her deeply (as a friend or mother figure) but sexually he connected better with Nolan?. In the sencond part of the book he's all bout Nolan...
The story still is a lot better than most books I've read lately and is also free! So if you don't mind and MC that's more inlove with everyone else than his partner, I'm sure you'll like this one.
What I loved: the world building. I found it complex and original. Also Deseem's growth throughout the story. He went from being a deeply traumatized young man to a slightly less traumatized one. Pretty realistic, I think.
What I hated: Liam "the horndog". He spends all the story wanting to bang Nolan (not the other mc!) and others. And kisses at least 3 people other than his husband. (2 in front of him with no warning!). Of course he's also deeply affected when D kisses someone else. Double standards much?
That whore Nolan, who is always reminding Deseem that he can fuck Liam anytime. Wtf?! And the worse thing is that he's right. I mean, when i read a romance I like a little romance BETWEEN the MC and not Liam with all his exes.
I was so angry at all this, but I still stayed up until 7am to read.
The ending was rather dissatisfying too. I was hoping Liam was finally sure of his feelings for Deseem, but no. He still needs time. He still wishes he could go back in time to his threeway marriage. Still wants to fuck Nolan who doesn't want him.
Something else that caught my attention is that Liam was supposedly so inlove with his late wife. But then, he's always saying he prefers men. At one point he almost recognizes he's gay. I don't get it. Why not make him fully bisexual instead of -what I consider- closeted? Maybe he loved her deeply (as a friend or mother figure) but sexually he connected better with Nolan?. In the sencond part of the book he's all bout Nolan...
The story still is a lot better than most books I've read lately and is also free! So if you don't mind and MC that's more inlove with everyone else than his partner, I'm sure you'll like this one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 14, 2018
Wow. This one is difficult to rate. There were some things about this book I positively loved, but there were some flaws I just couldn't overlook.
To start with the flaws... first of all, the book is seriously too long. Especially the first part - before Liam and Deseem even met. I didn't like that part very much, mostly because I find Bastion and their ways abhorrent. Later, there were also some parts that could be cut down because they added little to the plot or the romance - mostly Liam repetitively mulling over his doubts and grief. Liam himself was a bit too emo to my liking, and sometimes I just wished he'd stop thinking too much and hurting Deseem in the process. There were some themes I found silly and forced - like Bastion wedding rituals, or the ceremony Liam took Deseem to to watch people having sex (I was like: seriously? Wtf).
Now, even with the flaws I seriously did enjoy the book - for the most part (after-marriage part, to be exact). First of all it has the forced marriage theme that always makes me all giddy and happy in romance literature - and not only in m/m. Secondly, Deseem turned out to be sooo adorable - from a meek and bland creature to a stunning, strong if a little shy person, working very hard to be happy. I'd say he's twice as brave as Liam is. While I didn't like some things about Liam's behavior, I didn't exactly hate him, and it was quite satisfying to read how their relationship developed. And the sex scenes - they were long, but skillfully and delicately written, not vulgar in any way. The ending felt a little abrupt, but since I have read the short story right after the main book, I'm not disappointed because in the end that white-haired moron actually admits to love Deseem :) so overall.... not quite 4 stars, but 3,75 I think?
To start with the flaws... first of all, the book is seriously too long. Especially the first part - before Liam and Deseem even met. I didn't like that part very much, mostly because I find Bastion and their ways abhorrent. Later, there were also some parts that could be cut down because they added little to the plot or the romance - mostly Liam repetitively mulling over his doubts and grief. Liam himself was a bit too emo to my liking, and sometimes I just wished he'd stop thinking too much and hurting Deseem in the process. There were some themes I found silly and forced - like Bastion wedding rituals, or the ceremony Liam took Deseem to to watch people having sex (I was like: seriously? Wtf).
Now, even with the flaws I seriously did enjoy the book - for the most part (after-marriage part, to be exact). First of all it has the forced marriage theme that always makes me all giddy and happy in romance literature - and not only in m/m. Secondly, Deseem turned out to be sooo adorable - from a meek and bland creature to a stunning, strong if a little shy person, working very hard to be happy. I'd say he's twice as brave as Liam is. While I didn't like some things about Liam's behavior, I didn't exactly hate him, and it was quite satisfying to read how their relationship developed. And the sex scenes - they were long, but skillfully and delicately written, not vulgar in any way. The ending felt a little abrupt, but since I have read the short story right after the main book, I'm not disappointed because in the end that white-haired moron actually admits to love Deseem :) so overall.... not quite 4 stars, but 3,75 I think?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 21, 2013
3.5
This book needs a sequel, like yesterday. At the end of this book it felt like the story arc and the character arc had reached a turning point and now the build towards the conclusion needs to be portrayed in the sequel. It was just getting to the meaty part of the story and the paranormal/magical aspects of it leaving behind all the angst, when the author decided to axe it and call it "The End".
I sincerely hope the author is considering a sequel 'cos this book felt really incomplete and I didn't get the fulfilling satisfaction after the book ended. I couldn't convince myself to come out of the universe of this book because I felt the journey the author took us along for with these characters, is not complete yet.
Also where this book looses massive points for me is: Editing : Grammar and Spelling are just atrocious! I have not come across an English speaking person, even someone whose first language is not English, to not know the difference between "then" and "than", seriously...!
This book needs a sequel, like yesterday. At the end of this book it felt like the story arc and the character arc had reached a turning point and now the build towards the conclusion needs to be portrayed in the sequel. It was just getting to the meaty part of the story and the paranormal/magical aspects of it leaving behind all the angst, when the author decided to axe it and call it "The End".
I sincerely hope the author is considering a sequel 'cos this book felt really incomplete and I didn't get the fulfilling satisfaction after the book ended. I couldn't convince myself to come out of the universe of this book because I felt the journey the author took us along for with these characters, is not complete yet.
Also where this book looses massive points for me is: Editing : Grammar and Spelling are just atrocious! I have not come across an English speaking person, even someone whose first language is not English, to not know the difference between "then" and "than", seriously...!
September 29, 2013
I really, really loved the story, but the grammar was truly cringe-worthy. So very many errors took some of the enjoyment from the read. I know this is unpublished and thus unpolished, but some of the mistakes... Ugh. It read like it was written by someone who'd only ever listened to audiobooks; they knew how they wanted it to sound, but didn't quite know the right way to use commas and colons and semi-colons. I don't know how many times I itched to clean up the dialogue a bit, or chop up some run-on sentences. The potential for greatness was there; the author is an awesome storyteller. All that's needed is an editor, and not even a good editor at that! Just someone who's decent with grammar, sentence formatting, and knows how to use apostrophes to demonstrate possession, as well as the difference between than and then.
August 2, 2011
The first half of the book caught me for long hours - the world building was stunningly detailed and relationships between the characters complicated. But after characters had arrived to Corena and reversed "cleaning" ritual, the whole plot was brought to silly intrigue to induct Liams jealousy in order to prove to him that he is in love. I was more intrigued about Deseems father - what he did after the wedding, or how his brother and uncle coped during the rebel or how Deseem will cope with his new powers - so I was reading and hoping fore more.
May 10, 2019
Excellently written! I enjoyed every last minute of this book, from start to finish. The characters were beautifully developed, the world-building and story line riveting. While it's definitely a long read, it's very much worth taking the time.
One thing I'll say is that I'm the type of person that wishes endings to be tied up in a neat happy little bow (lol) just a personal preference. While the ending was not necessarily open-ended, there was definitely room for more resolution. I would imagine the author planned for a second book, which if there is one, I would be happy to take on.
One thing I'll say is that I'm the type of person that wishes endings to be tied up in a neat happy little bow (lol) just a personal preference. While the ending was not necessarily open-ended, there was definitely room for more resolution. I would imagine the author planned for a second book, which if there is one, I would be happy to take on.
December 29, 2010
I totally loved this novel... but, I am the only one that thinks that Norlan and Dorena were more parents than lovers to Liam? It was the only thing that I had a problem with in this book.
March 12, 2011
"chard bedcovers" is now my favorite typo ever. instead of picturing a pile of smoldering ashes i am picturing an odd pile of leafy greens...
February 10, 2013
This wasn't a happy read, and it was difficult at times, but it was an enthralling one nonetheless.
September 12, 2016
*heavy sigh*
August 24, 2018
Wheres the love? Well definitly not in this book. Worst HFN ever. Scratch that, theres not even a H. Just an FN.
April 23, 2021
I reallllllly love m/m stories like this: a consort in a helpless situation conditioned to believe untruths, sent to an enemy kingdom in order to serve and leaving the reader to hope better things are to come for them.
The beginning of the story is amazing. It starts out with setting up a villain: the father with a hateful regard to Deseem. There was so much political intrigue and as far as I could tell from the beginning, the stakes for the narrative were high, as I expected a fight between the two nations. In the beginning, poor Deseem had a lot of issues to deal with as far as trying to break away from the "training" that he had been taught before arriving at the enemy kingdom. There were a lot of thrilling psychological moments, promises of greater, political tension, and romance.
And all of that fell away. Abruptly. All of the interest simply dropped and I can pinpoint the moment that it happened.
Everything from here on out is pretty much going to be a spoiler.
Ugh. I rest my case. I really liked this story and it could have been SO GOOD if everything wasn't just dropped in the end to make way for whatever the hell that was.
I am feeling like I am missing something? Was that truly the ending? Is there a second book in the works that could redeem those last chapters?
I think it deserves three stars, but the beginning was great so I will give it four. I think Payne has a lot of interesting ideas, knows a lot about psychology and creating moments with tension and intrigue, but really needs to work on developing a narrative, as this just left me confused.
The beginning of the story is amazing. It starts out with setting up a villain: the father with a hateful regard to Deseem. There was so much political intrigue and as far as I could tell from the beginning, the stakes for the narrative were high, as I expected a fight between the two nations. In the beginning, poor Deseem had a lot of issues to deal with as far as trying to break away from the "training" that he had been taught before arriving at the enemy kingdom. There were a lot of thrilling psychological moments, promises of greater, political tension, and romance.
And all of that fell away. Abruptly. All of the interest simply dropped and I can pinpoint the moment that it happened.
Everything from here on out is pretty much going to be a spoiler.
Ugh. I rest my case. I really liked this story and it could have been SO GOOD if everything wasn't just dropped in the end to make way for whatever the hell that was.
I am feeling like I am missing something? Was that truly the ending? Is there a second book in the works that could redeem those last chapters?
I think it deserves three stars, but the beginning was great so I will give it four. I think Payne has a lot of interesting ideas, knows a lot about psychology and creating moments with tension and intrigue, but really needs to work on developing a narrative, as this just left me confused.
September 20, 2023
3.25
Hmmm. It was fun and a promising story that I believe could get better with time and skill. If the author rewrote the story in a few years, I would likely read that version.
Didn't enjoy the... villainization of a culture obviously based on non-European ones. I wish the Bastion culture was more than "we're Brown people who hate women".
The story also needed some heavy editing. There were many instances of typos/misspellings.
I did like the miscommunication trope in this mostly because there's an in-story explanation for it, but I feel we spent too long on Liam questioning Deseem's feelings for him.
Too much emphasis was also placed on some story points and not enough on others. Certain interesting topics were brought up once and never mentioned again - e.g. it's hard to feel the significance of Liam seeking out the throne room for comfort when we never were explained why it would be a safe place.
And while I did like the ending and what the 'Deseem having powers' could do for the story, I wish there was slightly more build-up or support for it. We only saw one previous instance of him using powers. I wish there were a few more sprinkled in after the cleansing had been undone.
Overall, very promising story. Enjoyable and kept me interested enough to finish (I DNF fast as lightning 🤣).
Hmmm. It was fun and a promising story that I believe could get better with time and skill. If the author rewrote the story in a few years, I would likely read that version.
Didn't enjoy the... villainization of a culture obviously based on non-European ones. I wish the Bastion culture was more than "we're Brown people who hate women".
The story also needed some heavy editing. There were many instances of typos/misspellings.
I did like the miscommunication trope in this mostly because there's an in-story explanation for it, but I feel we spent too long on Liam questioning Deseem's feelings for him.
Too much emphasis was also placed on some story points and not enough on others. Certain interesting topics were brought up once and never mentioned again - e.g. it's hard to feel the significance of Liam seeking out the throne room for comfort when we never were explained why it would be a safe place.
And while I did like the ending and what the 'Deseem having powers' could do for the story, I wish there was slightly more build-up or support for it. We only saw one previous instance of him using powers. I wish there were a few more sprinkled in after the cleansing had been undone.
Overall, very promising story. Enjoyable and kept me interested enough to finish (I DNF fast as lightning 🤣).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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