Talking on Eggshells: Soft Skills for Hard Conversations

by Sam Horn

Want to know how to speak up instead of shut down, face challenges head-on instead of run the other way, and keep your cool even when others don’t? Talking on Eggshells shows you how. This inspiring book shares everyday character-building situations and offers examples of what to say and not to say so you’ll never be tongue-tied or tongue-twisted again.

Sam Horn’s relatable, real-life stories and energizing, instantly usable insights will help you think on your feet, reduce stress, and deal more proactively and diplomatically with bosses, coworkers, customers, friends, family members, partners, children, even that date who just ghosted you. You’ll love this go-to guide for clearly communicating what you want and need to get the results you desire and deserve.  

Genres: Self Help, Communication, Nonfiction, Relationships, Audiobook, Psychology, Social

360 pages, Paperback

Published June 6, 2023

Reviews

[Rick Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s fine. Its basic. I was hoping for more depth most of the advice is just kind of surface level tips, and like occasional phrases to avoid or use more

The examples aren’t really good. But they don’t have to be because most of this is just kind of anecdotal how to converse better. Worth it for the occasional tips. Wish it had been shorter.

[Jane Cleland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sam Horn's stellar communication strategies are legendary, and this book doesn't disappoint. She uses examples to convert abstract concepts into tangible action steps. Her insights are laden with empathy and kindness.

[Sandra O'hagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever had a challenging coworker, family member or friend, you need this book. If you are the challenging person, you need this book. If you want to be a better parent, friend, coworker, you need this book.
I wish I had this when I was supervising a large staff. I found the insight, questions, presentation and structure of this book extremely helpful and informative. I admit I did not buy the book and I highly recommend this as one to own, and get out the highlighter.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up based on the title, and then binge-read it when I was too tired to stop myself.

If I had just taken the time to just read the cover, which says, "Bestselling author of Tongue Fu! (registered trademark)" and quotes the founder of Whole Foods who says, "The course-correct for today's cancel culture," then certainly I would've figured out this is not the right book for me. SIGH. (What did john Mackey even mean by that? That if you use these techniques, you will find common ground, or you will be given a chance to explain yourself, or what?)

Instead, I read almost all of this book, including the anecdotal stories of friends, family, clients, etc, the abundance of quotes (1-2 on nearly every page) from self-help gurus, authors, musicians, motivators, religious figures, actors, comedians, entrepreneurs, politicians, etc., the charts (left column = Words to Lose; right column = Words to Use), and the many lists (bullet-points or numbered) that suggest what to do in different circumstances.

It's like the author culled dozens of different problem-solving, social-emotional learning, basic communication guidebooks and reorganized them so we readers could look up in the Table of Contents the sort of discomfort we are experiencing in communications with particular individuals in our lives, and then gave us the Readers Digest version of how to cope with that;
* Quote
* Anecdote
* Brief Explanation
* To Do List
* Chart

This will certainly be helpful to some people who either want examples of what to say and do, or want to memorize key phrases. Probably others will resent being told what to say or do.

For me, it was a bit overwhelming - like TOO MUCH ADVICE all at once. I wanted to stop, but when you read a little tiny chunk of information, and you see the next chunk is so digestible, you read that, too, and then another.

I think we should invent a word for this, and perhaps it should be the Potato Chip Approach to writing.

For a Potato Chip Style book, this was stellar; a model of the genre. Maybe we could have a whole series of books like this and call them Short Attention Span Guides for Overwhelmed Adults.

[Brenda Burchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you find it difficult to communicate with people who have very different views than yours? Do you find it hard to express your wants and needs to family, friends, or co-workers? Do you need to establish boundaries? These conversations are difficult and one often wants to put them off or avoid them altogether. Sam Horn's Talking on Eggshells gives you a roadmap to navigate all of these situations and more. Drawing examples from everyday situations, she provides practical, actionable ways of achieving your goals and respecting the other person's needs and goals as well. Each chapter ends with a chart of "Words to Lose, Words to Use" as an easy review or crib sheet for the situation covered in the chapter. The book begins with a section on getting comfortable with conflict and then moves on to individual chapters that discuss what to do and say when confronting a variety of uncomfortable and potentially polarizing situations. Using these techniques allows one to maintain civility while working through challenging conversations. It's recommended reading for anyone who deals with the public, leads others, or wants better relationships. In other words, this book is for all of us.

[Kari Olfert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took a minute to get into, and honestly, I had it to put it to the side for a bit. Once I stated utilizing the chapters that were the ones that could benefit me, my whole mind shifted.

3 things stood out for me:

Chapter 12 on Complaining

The technique called the AAA Train.

A = Agree. You're right Mr Robert's, I did say I would call with an update.

A = Apologize. And I'm sorry you ended up waiting.

A = Act. I just heard from housekeeping, and I'm happy to say your room is ready.

"The only people you should try to get even with are the people who are helping you." 😄🫶
-Lori Greiner

Chapter 16 Talking Nonstop (near and dear to my heart)

"Do you know what we need? A 12 step group for nonstop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon." 😁

At the end, there's a chart for how to shift conversations as like a recap for the book. Easy to reference or practice what you want to change.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually avoid self help books but ended up reading this one as a mentor I respect recommended it to me during a particularly bad period of time in my life. the book is broken down into different scenarios from what to do when you are feeling pressured, to being bullied, to dealing with someone who won't change. the end of each chapter also provides a little chart with words to loose in difficult situations and words instead to use. much of the recommended advice is based on the author's experiences or experiences through her seminars and pushes her other books or programs which I found kind of annoying as it's just an overly obvious push of her brand but still, I did find some useful tibits here especially concerning self-assertion.

[Celeste Mergens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is as engaging as it is practical and a real game changer. The stories are compelling and illustrate her tools and techniques clearly, making it easy to apply her masterful principles. Sam's book and keynote Tongue Fu changed my life and this one is even better. In it, you learn vital practical strategies for navigating difficult conversations. She gives practical proof and techniques for managing day-to-day connections in ways that can naturally create more positive outcomes. Sam's techniques helped me to know how to grow a global movement and to listen in authentic ways that facilitate getting to the power of we-- what happens when we build positive outcomes together.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly transformational book that I believe should be on the shelves of everyone from millennials to parents. Expect to gain great lessons in communication & conflict resolution. Written from an optimistic point of view, you can tell Sam wants readers to understand that conversations, though challenging, can bring out the best in us.

This book provides readers with all the confidence they need to communicate effective, exercise emotional intelligence and successfully manage those hard conversations.

I highly recommend it!

[Don Mario · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very useful for all conversations, not just the difficult ones. Highly practical, with plenty of advice for a wide range of situations. Structured into very specific chapters (sorry, I listened to the audio version, so I can't quote exactly) such as *"Dealing with an Abusive Boss,"* *"Learning to Say No,"* and *"When People Talk Behind Your Back at Work,"* I’m considering buying the printed version for future reference.
I will be checking on the other works by this author.

[Roberta E DePorter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sam Horn is a jewel! Her new book is so helpful, so on point to move relationships and situations forward. Reading it through created shifts in my thinking that now come up spontaneously. And equally valuable, it is a resource for when I know I’m about to have a challenging conversation. It’s a keeper and will stay on my self-help bookshelf.

[DIANA · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very introductory level book that teaches you how to set boundaries with people who are difficult to confront. It draws its points through everyday examples that can show you how to navigate challenging conversations. Very good book to teach you on how to assert yourself, conflict resolution, and how to communicate effectively. Super easy read and recommend.

[Jordan Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book. I loved the change of but to and in word usage. Horn really did a good job explaining her concepts with real life scenarios. I could imagine myself using her advice at work, relationships, volunteer events and more!!! Definitely a good read and I’d recommend.

[reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

it's a useful book for how to acquiesce to power rather than fall on your own sword. following the advice in this book won't change society for the better but do offer wisdom for survival for the powerless individual.

[Deepika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every professional, HR, or leaders should read this. People could benefit from tackling hard conversations, by actually having them, rather than avoiding them or using language that isn't sympathetic to the other person. A good eye opener on how to improve communication to move forward.

[Donna Pejouhy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think everyone should read this book! There is a lot to take in probably should own your copy to refer to in the future also.

[Ali Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book as a work book club read. Chapters broken down nicely, clear and I often refer back to chapters before or during meetings

[CynthiaLubben · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good advice. Loved all the quotes she provided throughout the book.

[EricheBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this book delivered exactly what it offered and I took lots of interesting notes. Frankly, so few people know how to behave that I would check in even if you’re feeling confident.

[Jamaal Arthur Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Communication Skills Primer

Blazed right through this book. Great read for leaders, contributors, students and parents. Everyone can extract value from this book

[Hillary DG · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not ground-breaking but worth reading.

[Sonya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good tidbits in here. Would like to see her write one with the same messages but geared for adolescents.

[Sandeep Kumar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great work book for difficult situations!

[Priyanka Nirmal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unlike many classics that feel outdated- This book offers modern day relevance with scenarios that can actually be applied in daily life.

[Mallory Becerra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a book for you if you don’t have money for a therapist. She has some helpful tips, but, not worth my time